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My life wasn’t exactly exciting. I was on the road more than I wasn’t. I hadn’t ever been pinned down to one location. And I didn’t truly have any real friends.
But for years the illusion of my little psychic kept me going. Strange as it was, I felt a connection to her even before I got her to open up to me.
I hated that it took such a traumatic event to finally bring us together. But the moment I looked into her wide, frightened eyes, I knew I’d never let her go.
When I was seventeen, my best friend was taken right before my eyes. Years I searched for her, digging into places I knew I wasn’t allowed and watching people from the comfort of my apartment without them even aware that I was.
Years it took for me to get a lead on the man that had taken her. Then, I watched the world crumble around people that I didn’t know, but somehow felt like I did.
When I got too close, I called the one person that I knew could save me from the mess I’d made. The very same man that had been a mystery for what felt like forever. I knew what he did for a living, in fact, I was the one that called to give him a heads up when I knew he’d be needed. But I never let myself get close, no matter how curious I was about him.
Then he was there, and I had no place to hide. Only, I never imagined that my cleaner would be the one thing I wouldn’t ever be able to scrub out of my heart.
231 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 30, 2018
“Seemed I was always there, on the outer rim, knowing but not really. Caring without a solid connection.”
1. In the context of solid plot devices, the FMC’s exceptional hacking abilities are the equivalent of Swiss cheese. In the span of three years, the FMC not only taught herself how to hack, but became exceptionally good at it. She touches on her skill level at 7%,
“How was I able to track him, pin down his number, and get in touch with him even when he used burner phones? Well, it was me. Come on. I wasn’t about to get all cocky and tell you that I was the greatest out there, because I wasn’t. I was just really good. And better in certain areas. I was also smart.”
We’re flat-out told that the FMC was such an amazing hacker because a) ”we’re talking about Lucy, so of course she’s amazing”, b) “she’s just really good at it”, and c) “Lucy’s smart.” As far as explanations go…it’s not the best. *HUGE understatement* Still—aside from the fact that it’s also a prime example of telling not showing—it is a passable explanation. Only the FMC contradicts herself at 24%,
“I wasn’t exceptionally smart. I could get by, but I was pretty average at best.”
and in doing so, makes the FMC’s three-year transition into a super hacker extremely unbelievable. Normally I would be able to overlook such a big inconsistency. In this case, I struggled to do so because—as I said earlier—the FMC’s exceptional hacking abilities are used as a plot device. Not only that, but it’s one of the main plot devices.
2. The “hacking” plot device was two-dimensional. Underutilized. Zero techno-talk or explanations about how it works, just that it does.
3. Repetition. Repetition. REPETITION. The FMC and MMC said the same things over and over and over again in their inner-monologues.
4. Speaking of inner-monologues, both the FMC and MMC’s were long-winded. They kept going off on tangents. Oftentimes those tangents were on something they’d already inner-monologued on.