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80 pages, Paperback
First published May 14, 2019
“Wear a red dress & let men pull at it all night. Your desire: to have your hair pulled,As a result, the cultural ramifications of such teachings make Juárez, the city the author was born, the capital of femicide. From wikipedia: “The murders of women and girls in Ciudad Juárez since 1993 have received international attention, primarily due to perceived government inaction in preventing violence against women and girls and bringing perpetrators to justice.”
to bleed, to lick your wounds like a dog in heat.”
“I laughed because, after all, isn’t that what women do—laugh at jokes at their ownAt some point, the narrator says she doesn't care anymore, ignores all of it, the fresh lemón bruising from all the touching.
expense?”
“Like my father did to my / mother at parties, he called me tontita. When we danced, I pressed my body / against his. He smiled & pet my head like a dog. A good hembra never speaks of / the violence of men.”In the poem “More Than One Man Has Reached Up My Skirt”, the narrator's mother says “See how lucky you are, / not to have to work / like they do?”, because she isn't selling her body on the streets. A double edged sword because in fact “I have been / muy puta, / have been called puta.” In “My Macho Takes Care of Me Good” a mother takes the side of the husband in a situation of abuse: “You married him, says my mother, / & he takes care of you good in his united estates.” In “The Hunt”, a thirteen year old recounts an experience of sexual assault, and later, in the same poem, the narrator is sorry for the internalized sexism, the ugly thoughts damaging to women she can’t help but still think of, years and years of such harmful teachings pent up inside. “I apologize to a daughter / for telling her to close her legs”. It is this duality, present throughout, that really make these poems meaningful. While poetry is often felt as autobiographical, Zapico recognizes her own internalised sexism and what a struggle it is to overcome it; “I will not apologize / for my desire to love a macho / who could crush my skull / with his bare fists.”
I will not apologize / for my desire to love a macho / who could crush my skull / with his bare fists.
A good hembra never speaks of the violence of men.