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Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living
Happy Singlehood charts a way forward for singles to live life on their terms, and shows how everyone, single or coupled, can benefit from accepting solo living.
Based on personal interviews, quantitative analysis, and extensive review of singles' writings and literature, author Elyakim Kislev uncovers groundbreaking insights on how unmarried people create satisfying lives in a world where social structures and policies are still designed to favor marriage.
In this carefully crafted book, Kislev investigates how singles nurture social networks, create innovative communities, and effectively deal with discrimination. Happy Singlehood challenges readers to rethink how single people organize social and familial ties in new ways, and illuminates how educators, policymakers, and urban planners should cater to their needs.
Based on personal interviews, quantitative analysis, and extensive review of singles' writings and literature, author Elyakim Kislev uncovers groundbreaking insights on how unmarried people create satisfying lives in a world where social structures and policies are still designed to favor marriage.
In this carefully crafted book, Kislev investigates how singles nurture social networks, create innovative communities, and effectively deal with discrimination. Happy Singlehood challenges readers to rethink how single people organize social and familial ties in new ways, and illuminates how educators, policymakers, and urban planners should cater to their needs.
280 pages, Paperback
First published February 26, 2019
40 people are currently reading
619 people want to read
About the author
Elyakim Kislev
3 books7 followersDr. Elyakim Kislev serves as the head of the Honors Program in the School of Public Policy and Governance at the Hebrew University, specializing in minorities, policy and technology, and singles studies. Kislev holds a Ph.D. in sociology from Columbia University and three master's degrees in counseling, public policy, and sociology. He received the U.S. Department of State Fulbright Fellowship and the Award for Outstanding Fulbright Scholars.
Kislev is the author of Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living, published by University of California Press. The book has been translated into Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Arabic, Hebrew, Romanian, and several other languages. Happy Singlehood was featured in The Washington Post, The Guardian, HuffPost, Cosmopolitan, The Times, Vice, Metro, Globe and Mail, Elle, New York Daily News, and on CNN, BBC World News, BBC One, BBC Radio, Bloomberg, and covered by top media outlets around the world. Kislev is a regular contributor to Psychology Today and has garnered a million readers.
Kislev's second book, Relationships 5.0, published by Oxford University Press, asks how recent technological developments may cause us to think differently about our family lives, love affairs, and emotional needs. It analyzes three technological revolutions in the making: The cognitive (AI), sensual (VR and AR), and physical (Robots) revolutions. Relationships 5.0 was selected to be on the cover of Oxford's 2021/2022 catalog and the lead title in the Science category.
Kislev is the author of Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living, published by University of California Press. The book has been translated into Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Arabic, Hebrew, Romanian, and several other languages. Happy Singlehood was featured in The Washington Post, The Guardian, HuffPost, Cosmopolitan, The Times, Vice, Metro, Globe and Mail, Elle, New York Daily News, and on CNN, BBC World News, BBC One, BBC Radio, Bloomberg, and covered by top media outlets around the world. Kislev is a regular contributor to Psychology Today and has garnered a million readers.
Kislev's second book, Relationships 5.0, published by Oxford University Press, asks how recent technological developments may cause us to think differently about our family lives, love affairs, and emotional needs. It analyzes three technological revolutions in the making: The cognitive (AI), sensual (VR and AR), and physical (Robots) revolutions. Relationships 5.0 was selected to be on the cover of Oxford's 2021/2022 catalog and the lead title in the Science category.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
April 13, 2021
This was exactly what I wanted from Single. On Purpose. which that book definitely did not deliver. Kislev takes a look at the rising trend of solo living and how this should be embraced instead of merely tolerated as a stepping stone to matrimony. In fact, he uses empirical evidence to show that marriage is not only on the decline but those in relationships are not happier than people who choose to remain single. (Kinda explains why marriage is on the decline, huh?) The data on how single people are developing communities to strengthen friendship bonds and increase their happiness is not only promising but necessary with the rising numbers of people looking for smaller accommodations with more amenities for community activities. Communal living developments and intergenerational housing schemes are popping up in more and more places especially in densely populated urban neighborhoods.
This is not a book that bashes marriage but rather an in-depth look at how being single is not a death sentence but instead an opportunity for self-fulfillment. He calls for more studies on singleness and singlism as well as changes to current policies on housing, taxation, and healthcare. This is for anyone who is currently single either by choice or circumstance and for those who have people in their lives who fall into one of those categories. There's no need to pity your single friends or help them to find a partner especially if they've made it clear they're happy on their own. Read this to gain understanding and maybe you'll find out what makes solo living so dang awesome.
This is not a book that bashes marriage but rather an in-depth look at how being single is not a death sentence but instead an opportunity for self-fulfillment. He calls for more studies on singleness and singlism as well as changes to current policies on housing, taxation, and healthcare. This is for anyone who is currently single either by choice or circumstance and for those who have people in their lives who fall into one of those categories. There's no need to pity your single friends or help them to find a partner especially if they've made it clear they're happy on their own. Read this to gain understanding and maybe you'll find out what makes solo living so dang awesome.
December 5, 2019
This book put words to something I’ve been feeling for a long time! Eye opener.
February 9, 2025
This is what happens when academics try to write pop books.
As a happy single, I was curious about the mechanics of my preference for being single. This book was like a long, too long, blog post attempting to summarize a random assortment of research findings in layperson’s terms. There’s also a bunch of anecdotes about random single people excerpted from their social media or interviews with them. OK, so there are other people out there like me. I know that.
Then there’s the concept of “singlism.” Because of course, every subgroup of human classification needs to think it’s being actively victimized by everyone else.
The book barely touches on the sexuality of the intentionally single lifestyle, or forms of attachment, etc. The image I got of the singles described in this book was nearly that of a celibate social club.
Overall, this was low-level reading. I could have gathered the same data if I had spent just a little more time on Google.
As a happy single, I was curious about the mechanics of my preference for being single. This book was like a long, too long, blog post attempting to summarize a random assortment of research findings in layperson’s terms. There’s also a bunch of anecdotes about random single people excerpted from their social media or interviews with them. OK, so there are other people out there like me. I know that.
Then there’s the concept of “singlism.” Because of course, every subgroup of human classification needs to think it’s being actively victimized by everyone else.
The book barely touches on the sexuality of the intentionally single lifestyle, or forms of attachment, etc. The image I got of the singles described in this book was nearly that of a celibate social club.
Overall, this was low-level reading. I could have gathered the same data if I had spent just a little more time on Google.
December 19, 2018
As an author who writes about single life in the U.S., I was eager to read this book as soon as I heard about it. It did not disappoint. Drawing data from multiple cultures, it documents the growth of single life as a global phenomenon, illustrating not only differences but also astonishing similarities among disparate social groups. In addition to presenting evidence to show how well singles fare in life despite the obstacles they face, Kislev pushes the envelope to speculate about future trends based on changes in social organizations, communication technology, and robotics. Above all, he captures the genuine joy of adults who are single by choice, whether life-long or following the dissolution of a marriage. The scope of its ideas, as well as its international perspective, makes this book a valuable contribution to the field.
December 5, 2018
I had the pleasure of reading an advanced copy (NetGalley) of "Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living." The stories and statistics resonated on multiple levels - from witnessing some of my own family members struggle with the stereotyping that comes with choosing to remain permanently single after losing a spouse to an illness or divorce to my own lifelong internal battle of choosing marriage over single life. "Happy Singlehood" takes the narrative of solo living beyond the traditional baseline assessment, presenting actionable steps that readers can implement immediately and long-term to achieve dramatic results that defy the societal norm, "Marriage is the best way." Readers will learn how to accept and embrace singlehood, defy societal pressures, take a stand in the workplace that favors families over singles, and so much more. After reading the book, I find myself once again reflecting on an old theme: are we better off alone? Sometimes, the answer is, "YES!" "Happy Singlehood" will show you the way!
April 28, 2022
Text for my dissertation and it was so well written! I loved the positive perspective and the interwoven fables at the beginning of each section. Great addition to the (small) library on singlehood!
May 26, 2024
I feel seen. And I need to use the phrase ‘the juice is not worth the squeeze’ at least once in my (single) life.
February 24, 2021
A suitably mild introduction to the research literature and contemporary thoughts on singlehood. Author really focused a bit too much on identity politics of being single. Research cited was not earth shattering but nice to read in an organized fashion. Best part for me was just reading the qualitative interviews but even so, these were short sound bites and the author seemed to draw very over generalized conclusions based on these sound bites.
June 4, 2023
3.5 stars.
It felt repetitive and while I found it interesting, I don't know exactly how much new knowledge I got from it. I really enjoyed digging into this perspective and how being single can be a good and healthy choice for many.
It felt repetitive and while I found it interesting, I don't know exactly how much new knowledge I got from it. I really enjoyed digging into this perspective and how being single can be a good and healthy choice for many.
November 6, 2021
This was a good book, so much so that it actually made me happy to be single. It convinced me that perhaps this truly is the way I would like to spend the rest of my life. I liked too that it included ideas for options for singles for how to stay entertained, socially entertained, and ways to live roommate and community wise. It was boring in parts though so I could only give it three stars.
September 17, 2021
Unconvincing.
December 12, 2018
Great book with a lot of insight. Especially in these times of social change and and nonconformism. Really helped me put a lot of abstract concepts I had had in my mind forever into words.
I would really like a sequel that explores the possibility of a world where the family cell and monogamic relationships have ceased to exist. I am single by choice, because I don't see how being in a relationship is the most effective way to live a happy life. I'd love for that angle to be explored more in depth, since I believe singles by choice and circumstance are two completely different creatures, and should not be considered under the same demographic.
Thanks for the advanced copy by NetGalley!
I would really like a sequel that explores the possibility of a world where the family cell and monogamic relationships have ceased to exist. I am single by choice, because I don't see how being in a relationship is the most effective way to live a happy life. I'd love for that angle to be explored more in depth, since I believe singles by choice and circumstance are two completely different creatures, and should not be considered under the same demographic.
Thanks for the advanced copy by NetGalley!
February 12, 2019
I was going through tough times in my life until this book came in my way. It showed me that there is a way to live full life while being single. Reading the book, I started to be open to the various possibilities exist out there. I am very thankful for reading this one!
April 30, 2019
An enjoyable examination of all the ways single people live happily ever after despite discrimination and societal shortsightedness.
June 12, 2019
This is an important book. As Kislev points out, most people, when asked to name groups that are subject to discrimination and prejudice do not automatically name singles. Yet the negative stereotyping, overt and subtle social exclusion, and discrimination in the workplace and elsewhere, faced by single people is constant and often goes unchallenged.
Kislev cites interviews and statistical data to show that the growing trend towards long periods of singleness is both inevitable and potentially a positive development. He also discusses the characteristics and strategies that enable many people to experience their singleness - whether or not they consciously chose it - as a joyous, healthy and productive way of life.
Two discussions are missing here for me. The first is the genuine desire that many people feel, to find a long-term - ideally life-long - partner. I felt that this urge was treated in the book as a construct made up entirely of social pressure (sometimes cynically reinforced by governments) + pragmatic calculations of future happiness, often misplaced. We emerge with a sense that if people were fully aware that their needs for sex, companionship and practical support in old age could easily and more reliably be met without marriage, most peoples' desire for long-term partnership would disappear. Can this be demonstrated?
It wouldn't trouble me; the message of the book is clearly that everyone must choose what is right for them. But I'm not sure whether encouraging the ethos of seeking happiness in the easiest way doesn't come at the expense of those who are willing to make significant sacrifices for their honest desire for partnership. This uneasiness was reinforced by an interesting, if dystopian (?), discussion at the end of the book about future developments in artificial intelligence. The suggestion that many singles will rejoice in the future to be partnered with a robot who can fulfill all their needs while demanding nothing in return does nothing to combat the stereotype of the selfish bachelor who enjoys female company but can't be bothered to commit.
The other missing discussion was that of children. I think it is right that the focus here is not on parenthood; many discussions of singlehood perhaps over-focus on the potential impact of divorce or single parenthood on children. But while children are certainly mentioned here and there, I think a discussion of the options available to single men and women who want to have children, the ways in which they make that viable and how successful they are in their aims, would have been in place here.
However, this is a new field, and this is a groundbreaking book. Important for anyone who is or is likely to become single; which, as Kislev reminds us, includes at least one spouse in every marriage as well as the growing ranks of the single-by-choice.
Kislev cites interviews and statistical data to show that the growing trend towards long periods of singleness is both inevitable and potentially a positive development. He also discusses the characteristics and strategies that enable many people to experience their singleness - whether or not they consciously chose it - as a joyous, healthy and productive way of life.
Two discussions are missing here for me. The first is the genuine desire that many people feel, to find a long-term - ideally life-long - partner. I felt that this urge was treated in the book as a construct made up entirely of social pressure (sometimes cynically reinforced by governments) + pragmatic calculations of future happiness, often misplaced. We emerge with a sense that if people were fully aware that their needs for sex, companionship and practical support in old age could easily and more reliably be met without marriage, most peoples' desire for long-term partnership would disappear. Can this be demonstrated?
It wouldn't trouble me; the message of the book is clearly that everyone must choose what is right for them. But I'm not sure whether encouraging the ethos of seeking happiness in the easiest way doesn't come at the expense of those who are willing to make significant sacrifices for their honest desire for partnership. This uneasiness was reinforced by an interesting, if dystopian (?), discussion at the end of the book about future developments in artificial intelligence. The suggestion that many singles will rejoice in the future to be partnered with a robot who can fulfill all their needs while demanding nothing in return does nothing to combat the stereotype of the selfish bachelor who enjoys female company but can't be bothered to commit.
The other missing discussion was that of children. I think it is right that the focus here is not on parenthood; many discussions of singlehood perhaps over-focus on the potential impact of divorce or single parenthood on children. But while children are certainly mentioned here and there, I think a discussion of the options available to single men and women who want to have children, the ways in which they make that viable and how successful they are in their aims, would have been in place here.
However, this is a new field, and this is a groundbreaking book. Important for anyone who is or is likely to become single; which, as Kislev reminds us, includes at least one spouse in every marriage as well as the growing ranks of the single-by-choice.
October 22, 2021
The first chapters of the book were interesting because they were supported by statistics. Later the book got entangled in a lot of X said this and Y said that and it got so subjective and noisy.
I am happy that a lot of single folks are capable of changing their prespective regarding their singlehood. Society makes it hard for singles to accept their marital status and themselves at times. But the book described a reality were people are re-inventing families (which has always existed) and went on to describe married people as greedy because they focus on their nuclear families. Hello?!
And the writer kept referrign to policies that favour families. What policies? How are families favoured in any way? In housing? In supporting child rearing? In work-life balance? We are living in a world that is making it so difficult to have children and form families in their traditional form (with more than one kid, owning a house, playing in a nearby free-of-charge park etc etc..).
The writer was right though about the need to have singlehood skills, because this is a club that you can enter at any moment, so you'd be better off if you were prepared.
I am happy that a lot of single folks are capable of changing their prespective regarding their singlehood. Society makes it hard for singles to accept their marital status and themselves at times. But the book described a reality were people are re-inventing families (which has always existed) and went on to describe married people as greedy because they focus on their nuclear families. Hello?!
And the writer kept referrign to policies that favour families. What policies? How are families favoured in any way? In housing? In supporting child rearing? In work-life balance? We are living in a world that is making it so difficult to have children and form families in their traditional form (with more than one kid, owning a house, playing in a nearby free-of-charge park etc etc..).
The writer was right though about the need to have singlehood skills, because this is a club that you can enter at any moment, so you'd be better off if you were prepared.
May 15, 2023
This is a very good book! It covers the social, financial, demographical , and psychological aspects of Today's life. It doesn't only show reasons to embrace singlehood without bashing partnership, but it also embraces being a happier free independent person. It shows you examples of people who experienced living alone and with partners. It shows you not only thing you can do but also what to expect from the other person. What are your limitations and the other person's. How humans interact and how they interact under certain circumstances and age stages, and much more.
I really enjoyed the book. It's not just a book that hold a bunch of opinions, it actually has lots of research work, stastics, and international input from different cultures, circumstances, and interviews with people who share their experiences and how they handled different situations of life!
Thank you Dr. Kislev! Great book and looking forward to reading more of your books. Best of luck!
I really enjoyed the book. It's not just a book that hold a bunch of opinions, it actually has lots of research work, stastics, and international input from different cultures, circumstances, and interviews with people who share their experiences and how they handled different situations of life!
Thank you Dr. Kislev! Great book and looking forward to reading more of your books. Best of luck!
May 12, 2020
This book is nuanced in its analysis on single hood.
It references back to multiple studies regularly and stories from interviews and blogs. This could definitely resonate with people choosing to be single or those single by circumstance.
It also briefs the reader in the beginning, what’s it is about and really outlines the way the book is going to be.
I found that there was a lot of chapters/ideas to contemplate, and I found a lot of aha moments. So many ideas are making sense now. They’re in words and they’re structured here in this book!
I loved it. The discovery of what he has analyzed and created chapters on are deeply satisfying to think back, create a short summary and recognise it in real life. This book also gives me a sort of outline to adapt for a fulfilling single hood.
It references back to multiple studies regularly and stories from interviews and blogs. This could definitely resonate with people choosing to be single or those single by circumstance.
It also briefs the reader in the beginning, what’s it is about and really outlines the way the book is going to be.
I found that there was a lot of chapters/ideas to contemplate, and I found a lot of aha moments. So many ideas are making sense now. They’re in words and they’re structured here in this book!
I loved it. The discovery of what he has analyzed and created chapters on are deeply satisfying to think back, create a short summary and recognise it in real life. This book also gives me a sort of outline to adapt for a fulfilling single hood.
February 11, 2024
The book "Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living" is all about the lives of those who make the decision to stay single. It goes beyond conventional evaluations and provides readers with doable strategies to accept being single, resist social pressure, and produce satisfying outcomes. The book asks readers to consider whether choosing to be alone might be a wise decision and questions the idea that marriage is the only route to happiness. The author offers direction and motivation to individuals aiming to prosper in a culture that frequently values marriage. Overall 10/10.
December 22, 2020
Read a bit like a thesis, some bits were a little boring. The part about multi generational households was interesting, as well as the concept of work life balance for a single/unattached person vs. those in marriages. Further, the feeling of loneliness in married people compared to those unattached was... surprising. The point Kislev tried to make - about singles fast becoming the majority rather than the minority, should mean policy makers and companies alike should start paying significantly more attending to this demographic - came a little too late in the book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 7, 2021
If you are single at heart, this book will help you in finding the vocabularies to help explain and justify those anger and confusion reside within amid our society (that is still) strongly obsessed with (heteropatriarchal) coupling. If you are not single or is single but looking, and trying to understand that friend being persistent in their singlehood, this book is also for you.
More research and attention should be dedicated to the subtle and widely accepted discrimination that is singlism, and this book does a good job in doing exactly that (among other things).
More research and attention should be dedicated to the subtle and widely accepted discrimination that is singlism, and this book does a good job in doing exactly that (among other things).
May 11, 2022
How many times is this book going to say that single people are happy? The lady does protest too much. You're going against millions of years of evolution. Your brain is designed to be happy with another person. It's just built like that. Get over it. Short of gene editing this is not going away anytime soon. Also the prospect of living in shared accommodation and bunk beds, owning nothing and sleeping around with your fuck buddies sounds like the worst dystopian future I've seen. Otherwise an interesting analysis of current social problems.
April 22, 2025
Despite some good information this book was hard to read and I feel like a lot of important information was not included. Author includes interviews and stories of single people and based on those comes to overgeneralized conclusion of pros and cons of being single. What irritated me the most was how many times the author reiterated that single people are happy. There are people that are extremely happy being single but there are many who are not.
April 9, 2020
Great book! This book really captures the essence of singlehood today. I especially loved the interviews he conducts, which gather a wide range of perspectives on being single. I've read it three times and have used it in my composition classes, which are themed around singlehood. Students in my How to be Single and Happy class also enjoy it.
December 5, 2018
I really loved this book and find it enlighting and interesting.
I'm having a very traditional family. and being single is a constant burden in family meetings, this book taught me to accept my singlehood and have peace with that.
SUPER RECOMMENDED FOR EVERY SINGLE PERSON.
I'm having a very traditional family. and being single is a constant burden in family meetings, this book taught me to accept my singlehood and have peace with that.
SUPER RECOMMENDED FOR EVERY SINGLE PERSON.
October 25, 2021
I like the opening chapters that introduced me on the concept of Singlehood. As a single person, I really didn't thought much about the stigma, values of being single. It was quite mind-opening. I like the idea of embracing single-hood.
August 25, 2022
A collection of information I had already encountered in various articles and podcasts, so nothing terribly “new” to me here. May contain some revelations for folks who consider married life the only acceptable way to live.
January 10, 2024
Audiobook:
Loved this book. Proves once again that what society says is not necessarily true for every person
The part where a woman built a house for her and her single girl friends was my favorite
The fake accents in the audio book were quote annoying though (Libby audio)
Loved this book. Proves once again that what society says is not necessarily true for every person
The part where a woman built a house for her and her single girl friends was my favorite
The fake accents in the audio book were quote annoying though (Libby audio)
January 6, 2021
A fascinating look at singledom
July 29, 2021
Insightful, Well Researched & Revolutionary
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews