Your Time-Starved Marriage: How to Stay Connected at the Speed of Life

by Les Parrott III

Connect Your Time Styles—and Your Hearts

The moments you miss together are irreplaceable, gone forever. Now, just in time, relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie help you better manage this priceless resource. They show you how to reclaim the time you’ve been missing and how to maximize the moments you have together. This is not a book about being more productive, but a book about being more connected.

After resolving communication meltdowns, finding time together is the number one relational need of most couples. Where does it go? We try to make it. Save it. Seize it. Buy it. And borrow it. And yet time continues to elude too many couples.

At the heart of this book is the Internet-based Time-Style Marriage Assessment, which helps you uncover your unique time style. Once you know your time style and that of your spouse, this book will show you how to leverage them for powerful results.

Your Time-Starved Marriage helps you:

Dispel the two lies every time-starved couple believes.
Maximize the minutes that matter most in your marriage.
Recoup the time you’ve been leaving on the table.
Understand why “loving on borrowed time” is lethal to your love life
Discover how to “get a grip on the time of your life”
Your Time-Starved Marriage gives you tools to feed your time-starved relationship, maximizing the moments you have together and enjoying them more than you ever imagined.

Genres: Marriage, Self Help, Nonfiction, Religion, Relationships, Psychology, Christian Non Fiction

192 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

#1 New York Times best-selling authors, Les and Leslie. A husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy relationships. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University - a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships.

Married in 1984, the Parrotts bring real-life examples to their speaking platform. Their professional training - Leslie as a marriage and family therapist, and Les as a clinical psychologist - ensures a presentation that is grounded, insightful and cutting-edge.

The Parrotts are New York Times #1 Best Selling Authors. Their books include the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Love Talk, Real Relationships, The Parent You Want to Be, The Hour That Matters Most and Crazy Good Sex.

Each year Les and Leslie speak in over 40 cities. Their audiences include a wide array of venues, from churches to Fortune 500 company board rooms. Their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages.

The Parrotts have been guests on many national TV and radio programs such as CNN, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The View with Barbara Walters, NBC Nightly News, and Oprah. Their work has been featured in USA Today and The New York Times.

Visit their website for lots of free resources at www.LesandLeslie.com

Reviews

[Tess · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though the cheese factor is high in this book on advice for busy married couples, I think they actually do have a lot of useful information. In retrospect it's obvious that time is not renewable and that we should be focusing on spending REAL, un-distracted time together, but I think people in our society today need to be explicitly told this information. They have tons of quotes dispersed throughout, too, and most of them are great: "Devoting a little of yourself to everything means committing a great deal of yourself to nothing.

"More often than not, we are so busy preparing for the future that we miss out on the moment at hand."

[Selena · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this book would help me identify less obvious times to spend with your significant other. It did help identify how important time is to you, what type of person you are regarding time, and quality times to take advantage of. There were lots of statistics and the authors even went as far as to identify saving (financially) to reduce working more which will free up time with your family. Over all, I can't say that there was much valuable information here. I am also thinking since I borrowed this book from the library (via Hoopla) and since it didn't come with the workbook, maybe that's why I didn't find it very helpful. It was a short audiobook. 2.5 stars.

[Maui Rochell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this useful resource at Kindle and even though I am not yet married (I like reading preparation for marriage/marriage books) I read this during the time where my partner and I are having a hard time spending time with each other because of the pandemic and workloads. I learned a lot especially the part of assessing our time styles I am a planner and he is a processor and somehow we get along at other parts.

I also appreciate the other chapters in enjoying slow meals, preparing for 3Rs (Rest, Recreation, Restoration) and managing finances. I didn't really mention this to my partner yet but I just slowly incorporated the learned concepts in our relationship plus he also incorporated his own style to us just so we can have a planned and proper time for each other even after the busiest times of the day.

I'm truly grateful that things are working out in us in terms of time. I have this thinking in my mind that if in the stage of dating, you weren't able to work out your indifferences, it will be harder to alter it when you get married.

[Neil Perry · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a world of terrible self-help books, this one turned out to be quite a gem. Marriage is an institute that takes work, but the most valuable "work" that people often overlook is rest. This book is a lesson in slowing down, re-evaluating your time, re-framing your idea of work and productivity. This book was on a trend of rest-centered mindfulness 15 years early. It's counterculture to blue-collar Americans to plan for rest, to get the most out of it. But this book not only stresses the essential nature of rest, but demands that your life depends on it.

I would recommend this book to any workaholic.

[Evan Hoekzema · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an overall quick read. Most of the book wasn’t unique, it contained information that I think would be fairly common. But there were a few insights in there that were really helpful. The concept of different time styles was very interesting. And the chapter on priorities (what to do, and what to leave undone) as well as the chapter on moments (making the most of the every day normal moments) was particularly inspiring. Overall not a bad read.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good reminder of how to make time with your spouse a priority. A lot of the info could seem like common sense, but the way the Parrotts organized the information and presented it makes it worth the time to read or listen to the book.

[Dustin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great marriage book on investing the time.

[Laura Payne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! I read this in one day and that isn’t like me!

[Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was fine, just all seemed very much common sense.

[Charmin · Rating 3 out of 5]

HIGHLIGHTS:
1. BUSYNESS:
- What busyness does to marriage: in a marriage becomes burden by busyness, stress fractures eventually appear.
- Busyness corrupts your conversation.
- Busyness depletes your love life.
- Busyness deals with your fun.
- Busyness erodes your soul.

2. DON’T FEED YOUR MARRIAGE LEFTOVERS:
- Quit serving leftovers, busy people rarely give their best to the ones they love.
- We give our best to our spouse when we give them attention and energy for the things they like to talk about as well.
- Know what to leave undone.
- Purge your schedule of distractions.

3. MAKE YOUR MOMENT:
- when you say hello.
- when you say good-bye
- when you go to sleep
- when you have a tough day.
- when you’re in a routine.

4. TIME ROBBERS:
- The ultimate protection from these time robbers comes from the choices you make to guard yourself against them.

5. LEISURE SICKNESS:
- Leisure sick sickness: people who have a tough time making the transition from the daily grind to home life.
- Restoration: making your sabbath a retreat for your soul.

https://realrelationships.com/

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is very relevant and timely to our culture today. It does a great job of setting the tone and reality of the problem, but doesn't give a nuanced solution. Instead, it goes back down the same road of "slow down" and "stop hurrying". As much as I agree with those statements, the reality is that people know those things already. Unfortunately, they think the cost of slowing down is too high. The book would have done better if it had addressed the reasons why people pack their schedules and offered better alternatives to meeting those needs.

[Shawna Ridgley · Rating 3 out of 5]

For people on the go, this book is short, to the point, and written in chapters that can easily be read in 10-15 minutes. I thought the book was going to give basic ideas of what to do when you do have time together to make the most of it. But it wasn't. It was a book that was urging you not to put your marriage on the back burner while you fly through your to-do list everyday. It had great points and excellent reminders. It is worth the quick read. I would recommend it to any couple who has found that their only daily conversation with their spouse consist of nailing down the schedule for the day and/or if you hear either one of you frequently say "one day it will slow down and we'll..." Your marriage is today. If you don't spend time cultivating the relationship today, it will not be there "one day".

[Jake · Rating 4 out of 5]

Our Sunday School class is having a retreat and discussing this book. I read the book as preparation for the retreat. There were a lot of things in the book with which I could relate. The ways it suggested to deal with the stress of only having 24 hours in a day seemed to be generically like all other self-help books. They were vague in a lot of respects and impractical in others. They involved an attitude change and the key to them being successful is how hard you want to try to make them successful or how much you buy into the solutions. They also require both Lea and I to be willing participants. There is no easy answer. I am excited about the retreat and at the same time weary that my high level of excitement and high expectations will lead to disappointment.

[Daniel Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short chapters with reflective questions at the end of every chapter had me pause and journal each time. My wife and I have had great conversations. I would recommend this for any young couple and/or any couple that seems to be disconnected because of distractions or "not enough time." Time is looked at differently as of recent generations, and this book peeks at ways to make the most of the moments we could have together. Lastly, as my wife and I prepare for our first child, this book has blessed us with reminders and new key points on how to keep the relationship between us two alive.

[Mendy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not as helpful as I had hoped. Told me what I already know! Not how to spend more time with my husband and work two full time jobs, and raise three kids and all that entails on a budget! We would love to go on vactions just the two of us and have date nights!! But where do we get the money and whose gonna watch the kids?
It was hopefull that we already do a lot of the small everyday things!

[Jodi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had alot of interesting ways to find more time to slow down and spend time with your mate. I really liked the website and the quiz that you can take to find out you and your mates ideas on time. This helped me to slow down more and to realize that doing more wont buy me more time I will just find more to do.

[Kara of BookishBytes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is not the most profound book ever, but it does contain some good encouragement and reminders to make your marriage a daily high priority, and to be willing to reduce the other commitments in your life in order to reduce strain on your marriage. In particular, I appreciated the idea of using time on the Sabbath to focus on your relationship with your spouse.

[Joan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm enjoying the reminder that business will kill a sense of closeness in a marriage if we're not careful. There's been some great questions to mull over, and also some good suggestions for finding time to reconnect on a daily basis.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although this book does have some helpful insights, I didn't find it as useful or pertinent as other marriage advice books I have read.

[Lisa]

Marriage

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as great as I was hoping.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

finished first two chapters and took online assessment.

[Donna Diane Gather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book and it's thought provoking message really helped my marriage.

[☆ serethiel ☆]

(No, I'm not married -- no where even close! But this does sound like it could be a very helpful book, in the future. *winks*)