Mike Nelson's Mind over Matters: Hilarious Comedy Essays on Everyday American Life from the MST3K Writer

by Michael J. Nelson

Why do some people retain cute baby-talk names for their relatives (like "Num-Num" and "Pee-Paw") well into middle age? How should a reasonable person respond when Olivia Newton-John sings, "Have you never been mellow?" Who's responsible for the sorry state of men's fashion, and is it the same guy who invented the jerkin? Is there any future in being a Midwesterner? Can you really enjoy your lunch when the restaurant is decorated to look like an African plain? How come women keep dozens of bottles and jars of moisturizers, unguents, and lotions around -- all of them half empty? In more than 50 hilarious all-new essays, one of America's brightest young humorists -- the head writer and on-air host of the legendary TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- finds the fun in all aspects of the human condition, no matter how absurd. Join Mike Nelson on an angst-filled visit to a health spa; shopping sessions at Home Depot and Radio Shack; adventures in the very amateur musical theater; a gut-busting discourse on the history of television; ruminations on his roles as husband, father, and citizen; and much, much more.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Essays, Comedy, Short Stories

277 pages, Paperback

First published June 5, 2002

About the author

Michael J. Nelson is an actor, writer, director, and musician who served as head writer for ten seasons, and on-air host for five seasons, of the television series Mystery Science Theater 3000. He was also the composer of most of MST3K's original music, and is coauthor of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide (1996).

Reviews

[Tim · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rather forced and mechanical, rarely rises above effortful facetiousness. One to read on a quick work break or keep in the toilet.

[meghann · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had never read a book of essays before, and I was not sure what to make of it in the beginning. But I kept going, and I'm glad I did. I loved Mike Nelson on MST3K and now Rifftrax. This book is full of his observations on a variety of topics. We also get to learn about some of his personal history (he got his start in musical theater... because of a girl, of course) and life as a father (kids can and will take you down with a sock full of legos). I didn't realize how awkward the guy is, and when he describes his thoughts and actions in social situations, well, it's like we're the same person. This was a quick and entertaining read full of random and funny, and I will definitely be reading more of his books in the future.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a big fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000. My husband found this book written by the head-writer, Mike Nelson. It turned out to be a collection of short essays on various subjects. My favorite was the section of essays on family - my favorite being the essay on how we hold on to baby talk well into our adult lives:

"Perhaps you have been set back on your heels by something similar: you're talking to a mature, adult friend who has up to that point displayed no signs of dementia when suddenly --

'I have to go,' he says. 'I have to pick up Num-Num and Pee-Paw at the airport.'

Your first instinct is to subdue your friend and hold him until the proper prescription medications be administered by a team of professionals in white scrubs, but before you commit to anything, you spit out a great mist of coffee and say, 'What? What is a Num-Num and a Pee-Paw?'"

A few of these essays made me laugh out loud (few books do) - but there were one too many essays, and after a while I got tired of Mike's rants (it seemed like he wrote quite a few of them at 3 in the morning and were hard to follow). A good read - but I'd recommend picking and choosing the essays that interest you, instead of reading the whole thing through.

[Veronica Keeney · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book definitely started off making me laugh out loud.We are talking wiping away tears hilarity.The good stuff.I wish that feeling could have carried through.Some of the essays sandwhiched between were a bit amusing,while others left me perplexed.I enjoyed the essays discussing every day things like family and friends.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

um.......rifftrax and mst3k are really great! marginally better than his novel death rat...

[Christopher Hivner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mike Nelson, head writer for Mystery Science Theater 3000, returns with a book of essays written from his awkward, inhibited mid-western style. There are pieces here about the history of television, Mike's experiences in musical theater, a trip to radio shack and another to the local Home Depot. He explores why his wife has so many friends and what it would be like if he appeared on Inside the Actor's Studio.

Mike Nelson is a very funny man, apparently with a rich, disturbing fantasy life. Some of the essays, such as Nelson describing his hatred of staying at hotels or dealing with the phone company made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. There are a few that just sit there, that seemed to be scribbled quickly, but the collection contains over 50 essays and most will make you laugh out loud.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of Mike Nelson's essays had me laughing out loud, which I don't do very often when I read. I might smirk, or even smile, and every once in awhile a little "Heh!" might escape, but actual chuckling is rare. There were definitely instances of audible laughter with this one, particularly when the story was recounting a painfully funny moment in Mike Nelson's past (whether true or not). Awkwardness and pain. Yeah, I can relate.

[Brad Wheeler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this one more than I do. It's basically Mike Nelson does Dave Barry, and I love both of those things! And at times, it's pretty damned hilarious. Unfortunately, those times are the exception. More often it's merely amusing, and not even exceptionally so. Mike's voice comes through loud and clear, but sometimes it reads like he's trying too hard.

Not a bad book by any means, and a good book to read before bed. Just not quite as good as I had hoped.

[Jim D'Ambrosia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Collection of humorous essays. I like Nelson's work in Mystery Science Theater, but a lot of this stuff just isn't that funny. I hate saying that, but it's how I felt. The jokes/riffs are just a little too obvious. The book is a good 20 years old, so that doesn't help. The stories at the end are better in the beginning, and there are flashes here and there.

[Helene M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great Book


Enjoyed reading this book. Great narrative and very funny. Each essay reflected a different subject ( which some were relatable) which made it even funnier! I found myself laughing out loud and shaking my head.

[John Trembly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Side-splittingly funny essays from one of Mystery Science Theater 300's main writers and actors. I think almost everyone can relate to the "Couch Mover, Retired" essay.

[Spankminister · Rating 3 out of 5]

The chapters that are more daring and personalized are the funniest. The parts that read more like Dave Barry are not nearly as good.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

The essays are hit or miss, but overall, charming.

[Jessica Robinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as good as Nelson's bad movie book (if anybody knows bad movies, it's MST3K's Michael J. Nelson) but he's always a funny guy.

[Francis Cuncich · Rating 4 out of 5]

I retired my use of leaf blowers after reading this book.

[Joseph Hirsch · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the second book I've read from an MST3K alum, the first being Kevin Murphy's "A Year at the Movies." I love Mike and I love Kevin (their seasons on Mystery Science Theater are actually my favorites), but I'm starting to think they're riffer savants, or, at the very least, that their senses of humor somehow don't translate from the (grainy) screen to the printed page. At least not for this reader.

Michael J. Nelson's "Mind over Matters" contains numerous essays, some of them insightful and funny (especially the autobiographical one about doing debt collection in a call center), and many, many more that either have a manic flop-sweat ranting quality to them or (even worse) feel like blog entries by someone venting spleen. When you can best be described as comedy club-era Jerry Seinfeld cross-pollinated with Dennis Miller, something has gone terribly wrong, and a miscalculation has been made somewhere.

There were some laughs to be had (Mike has a brilliant comic mind, after all), but the ratio of chuckles to sighs and groans doesn't allow me to recommend this one, as much as I would like to do just that. Judge for yourself, though. Now let's see if Bill Corbett has written a book...

[Ben Leach · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a big fan of MST3K and an even bigger fan of the Mike era, which has thankfully continued with Rifftrax, I thought for sure I would like this book. I liked parts of it, but not enough to wholeheartedly recommend it.

Like any book of humorist essays, some are better than others, and I didn't hate reading this because there were several top notch, laugh-out-loud essays in here. The problem was the lack of consistency in what I found funny.

The other thing is that this feels EXTREMELY dated in 2021. Mike complains about emerging technology in the early aughts. There is an entire essay dedicated to the proliferation of Radio Shack stores. This book was published nearly 20 years ago, and even then, it must have sounded like an Andy Rooney segment when Mr. Rooney was extremely curmudgeonly in those later years.

If you're looking for on-point pop culture references or some of Mike's other strengths that are very much a part of his career, this isn't the place for it. I feel like this was written to try and set up Mike Nelson for a post-MST3K career and it kind of didn't take because the thing he's known for is something he does incredibly well.

[Patrick McInerney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't think I've ever laughed out loud reading. I laughed out loud at least once every essay here. There's something I call The Godfather Syndrome: the volume of praise heaped on a piece of media is inversely related to my desire to consume it. The more people praised The Godfather, the more I postponed watching it, because it felt like homework, and the less inclined I was to actually enjoy it when I did watch it, because now I'm more concerned with understanding why it's considered the Greatest Film Of All Time. Comedy is even more prone to The Godfather Syndrome, and comedy writing even more so.

So I'll just recommend that, so long as you can understand English, you should read this book. It's not the worst thing I've ever read.

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm actually giving this book 2 1/2 stars. There were a few essays that I found funny, but overall I found him to be obnoxious and not in a funny way. He seemed like he was trying too hard to be humorous and was falling short.

[Ciaran · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me laugh, as I hoped it would. Mike has some genuinely funny lines in this collection of essays and paints a vivid, surreal, and comically exaggerated image of daily life in Minnesota among other places. Definitely worth the read.

[Matt Champion · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of short essays, satire, and humorous observations and complaints, quite a few fell flat or felt forced but most were pretty funny. And a few had me laughing out loud REAL hard. 3.5 stars.

[Bob Lintz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mike Nelson had me laughing out loud, for the entire book.

Mr. Nelson really knows how to hit the funny bone. Read this book now,you will not be sorry at all.

[Elaine Hamilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

My face hurt.

[Alice Nuttall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and funny essays - you can dip into it, or read it all in one go like I did.

[Louis Schuh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty standard example of the comedic essay genre.

[Marietta Vaccaro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant and hilarious as always 😀❤

[Dustin · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm beginning to think that observational humor just doesn't work in book form.

[Autumn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I totally read this in Mike’s voice. I loved it! It made me chuckle and was a fun read.

[Brian McGuinness · Rating 5 out of 5]

The chapter about his college professor getting stuck in a desk might be the funniest story ever written in the history of the world. The rest of the book is hilarious too.

[Mutant Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Mind over Matters" is a book that feels like a collection of internet comedy posts from the not-too-distant past. Some are still very relatable, while others are a little outdated. Not that there's anything objectionable here, but prepare to be reminded that things like Radio Shack existed or that food mascot ads were a huge epidemic at one point.

I don't want to sound too harsh on the book because many of the short essays are downright hilarious, and Mike's familiar hokey style of humor, which you know and love, shines through. I only wish the book was more consistently funny. I plan to reread some of these individually, but I doubt I'll read it cover-to-cover again.