Self-Parenting: The Complete Guide to Your Inner Conversations

by John K. Pollard III, Linda Nusbaum (Illustrations)

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SELF-PARENTING: The Complete Guide to Your Inner Conversations is the original how-to book defining the concept of "self-parenting." Many of us grew up within a parental environment that did not support our childhood needs for love, support, and nurturing. As adults, we mentally continue the same patterns as an "Inner Parent" that left us feeling alone and abandoned as a child. By beginning the daily practice of positive Self-Parenting, the negative outer parenting patterns taught as a child (and subsequently internalized as an adult) can be recognized and reversed. The foundation of the SELF-PARENTING is the daily practice of the Self-Parenting Exercises, a thirty-minute session of cognitive interaction between the Inner Parent and Inner Child. During these daily half-hour sessions Illustrated In the book, the reader learns how to love, support, and nurture his or her Inner Child as well as increase their awareness of the profound implications of their Inner Conversations in the "real world."

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Psychology

282 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 1987

Reviews

[Russel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book. It was interesting because it really made me explore my self-speak and how I thought about the world, which was quite profound. It also made me realize that I deserve to be loved and treated well in every way.

[Six · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book definitely opened up my eyes to the beauty that is self-care and self-exploration. I highly recommend this light read for people who have trouble with reading long books. It's definitely a good start to my 2021 Reading Challenge. This book is such a good primer for my daily habit building and learning more about myself. Highly recommend this version because of how simple it is and straight to the point. It's a beautiful self-help book that I would re-read again.

[Mark Manderson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Extremely quick read with explanation and tools from the early 80s of our internal dialogue. It's dated and the research available now covers far greater aspects than this book. Pretty basic info.

[Nadia · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book wasn't a revelation but at the same time it felt good to read some of the inner conversations that other people entertain in their head.

[Jessy Masse · Rating 5 out of 5]

An extraordinary tool to heal your past and move to the future

[Crimmas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I initially read this back in 2018 in therapy, and at the time it was particularly appropriate. I decided to reread it in this healing period in the fallout of my life’s greatest crisis.
As a concept, it’s strong. I think the practice of *literally* getting in touch with your inner child is very beneficial and healing. I’m someone who had a decent childhood prior to puberty, but still carries baggage from the abuse dealt to me in school. So despite a considerable amount of arrested development, it still helps me. Enough so that it began to influence me creatively.
It was harder to get into on the second read because it very much comes off as an entry-level self-help book. By the time I started rereading it I had actually published articles on pop psychology already. Also, the instructions seem to me to be a little too specific and narrow. There should be some more wiggle room, I think, once someone has established a routine.
Either way, I consider it a helpful guide and practice that I intend on keeping up with to the best of my ability, and returning to the book in the future if need be, despite its flaws and age.

[Isabella · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read and used this book in the early 90s at a time when I really needed to redesign my life. I don't remember much from reading the book but the exercises were priceless and a cornerstone in my recovery from a chaotic upbringing and abusive marriage. After a while I started deviating from the suggested dialogue and just let the dialogue flow. I can't quite imagine how just reading the book would make much of a difference.

[Ginny · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't find this book offering any new information. In the 21st Century, isn't the general public already aware that negative self-talk is detrimental? I could have saved time just looking at the Table of Contents.

[Molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

A basic but profound concept that's easy to digest. Very quick read.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

I still have to do the actual journaling part, so I can't say how much I like it yet. :)

[Jake · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended by my therapist. Will stay with me for a while. Made me kinder to myself. Sometimes was a little silly but ultimately very helpful

[Bec Sands · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great way to reconnect with the inner child.

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting!