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Future Perfect: A Skeptic’s Search for an Honest Mystic

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A witty, unflinching, and provocative memoir about one woman’s journey into the fact, fiction, and fraud of the modern mystical complex.

In the months following the breakup with her longtime boyfriend, Victoria Loustalot crossed paths with multiple psychics eager to impart their vision. Persistent and prescient, each one slightly chipped away at Victoria’s innate skepticism. She had to admit that what they knew about her past was eerily accurate. As for her future? She couldn’t shake the feeling that some powerful force in the universe was trying to tell her something and, for once, she ought to listen. Or at least investigate.

In Future Perfect, Victoria draws on her own personal experience to launch a broader inquiry into the phenomena of psychics, shamans, astrologers, and their fans. Through historical documents and interviews with clairvoyants, seers, and their believers, Victoria opens herself up to the modern mystical complex in cultures and cities around the globe. She pays close attention to what they have to tell us about how we choose to live, what we might be missing out on in the process, and what in the world we’re supposed to do with all that information.

254 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2019

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About the author

Victoria Loustalot

4 books41 followers
Victoria Loustalot is the author of the three memoirs This Is How You Say Goodbye, Living Like Audrey: Life Lessons from the Fairest Lady of All, and Future Perfect: A Skeptic's Search for an Honest Mystic.

Her essays have appeared in numerous publications including The New York Times, Women's Wear Daily, The Onion, Publishers Weekly and online for The New Yorker, where she previously wrote a daily column.

Victoria grew up in California but moved east for college, graduating from Columbia University with a B.A. in English after just three years of study. She was also a Nonfiction Writing Fellow at Columbia University's School of the Arts, where she earned her M.F.A. She now lives mostly in New York City but can frequently be found traveling and documenting her journey on Instagram, @VictoriaLoustalot.

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5 stars
76 (10%)
4 stars
123 (16%)
3 stars
207 (28%)
2 stars
203 (27%)
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129 (17%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 134 reviews
Profile Image for Trudy.
100 reviews4 followers
December 3, 2018
Full disclosure: I received this book free as a member of Amazon Prime through Amazon’s First Look promotion. I’ve been studying what the author refers to as “the woo-woo stuff” since the early 1980s, and have been a Reiki master since 1999. I do not practice on a professional basis.

This book was nothing more than a vehicle for a New Yorker with an MFA to publicly express her level of discontent. It has little or nothing to do with the title, as the reader eventually realizes she had no intention of fully researching the subject. Most of the book is about herself, and while I realize it is labeled as a memoir, it is never explained to the reader how her myriad personal issues and her politics have anything to do with the claimed search on the cover.

I don’t know how much time or effort she devoted to her research. Had she taken a moment to search Google for classes in her own backyard, (over two million results for astrology alone in NYC) and a few hours perhaps with any of the many in-person astrology or other divination classes available nearby, she would have discovered that:
1) Spirituality has very little to do with visiting psychics. People study divination and related subjects for all kinds of reasons other than working as professional psychics.
2) Politics and discussion of same is actively discouraged, if not outright forbidden in this setting. That’s because politics are considered a negative, material construct and most students avoid negativity as much as possible.

One of the other reviewers on Amazon said the material in the book would amount to a magazine article, and I can wholeheartedly agree with that. Even so, some of that material is incorrect or misleading. For example, her session with a Reiki practitioner does not resemble any treatment I’ve ever known anyone to do or have even heard about. That mistake would also have been avoided with a cursory internet search. Early on in the book, when she’s on the way to visiting the psychic in New Jersey, she mentions she’s reading Psychic Self-defense by Dion Fortune. There is no mention of how she came to be reading that particular book, and apparently she was unaware that it was written in the 1930s and is today considered outdated and even unnecessary by many in the field. Both the field and humanity have vastly evolved since then. All the Loustalot says is that it’s scary. Well, it would be, out of context and read in the 21st Century.

There is little of value in this work to the general public. It could have been worthwhile had the author been able to get out of her own way, or had the editor or any of the legions of people she thanks at the end of the book bothered to notice there were serious problems in the manuscript.


Profile Image for Julia V.
103 reviews10 followers
December 26, 2018
This is genuinely the worst book I have read all year (It's 12/26.. so that means something). Honestly it may be one of the worst books I have ever read. I feel like the biggest problem is not the quality of the writing (although the entire book seems to be written in stream of consciousness), but the entire concept of the book. This is really the first book I felt the need to write a bad review about.

This is not a skeptics search for an honest mystic. This is someone who dabbles in spiritualism, but never quite dives in. The most interesting and well worded points about mysticism were direct quotes from sources. Most of the book seems to avoid the topic completely. There were multiple chapters that were simply about Victoria's life and mentioned a psychic for a few sentences. In a very loosely connected way. Each chapter felt like an introductory chapter. I really feel like she wanted to write a memoir about an uncertain time in her life, and this was a nice way to get it published.

Not only does this book not reach a conclusion, but it never quite reaches a complete thought. There is not a beginning. There is not a middle. There is not an end. I really wanted to like this book but I really just felt as conned as the people seeking psychic help.
665 reviews6 followers
December 12, 2018
Did not finish.
This was one of the December 2018 Amazon First Reads choices. I am about 20% in and have decided to stop because life is too short to waste on a book I don't love.
I was intrigued by the topic. However, while well written, there is too much here. I've learned waaaay more about the author's young adult life than about anything related to mystics. I feel like I'm walking down a path and I'm constantly being led off down side paths. We're not getting anywhere.
I'm simply not enjoying it, so I stop here.
Profile Image for Katie.
93 reviews1 follower
December 14, 2018
Jumbled and rambling.

This book does not follow "a skeptic's search for an honest mystic." Mostly this follows a woman's relationship with a new boyfriend, which happens to overlap with a period of time when she was researching astrology. She offers little insight on spiritualism, and spends most of the book responding to random New York Times pieces and musing on how she expects this book will be received. This would have benefitted from some structure, but because of the meandering style it was just all over the place and confusing. I would not recommending picking up this book.
Profile Image for Lily P..
Author 33 books2 followers
December 14, 2018
(Kindle)

Good title.

Loustalot has commitment issues and they aren't just related to her romantic relationships. On the one hand she claims she is a skeptic, on the other hand, she falls into a lot of woo woo really easy.
She can't commit. Is she a skeptic or is she a believer? She wants to play both sides.

She doesn't believe in psychics, but after her first reading, she actively pursues the prediction that she's going to meet a tall "Prince Harry" type guy and fall in love. She jumps in with both feet. She looks for him and when she happens to meet someone that maybe kind of sort of fits the bill--they go on a first date and he moves in. . . .like that. BOOM!

Based on what? Based on the belief that the psychic knew something she didn't? And when the relationship doesn't work out somehow that was foretold by her star sign?

I felt sorry for, and a little sad for the author. She glosses over the period in her life when she was anorexic and muses on magical thinking. She's lost and searching for herself in astrology and psychics.

I realize this is a memoir. I expected to go on some kind of a journey--learn something--follow the author as they learn something. Nope . . . didn't get that.

Not Recommended


Profile Image for Patty Hagar.
348 reviews2 followers
November 27, 2019
If you're confused by the divisive reviews on this book, allow me to help. This is a memoir written by a self-described millennial who is examining her own understanding of spirituality, intuition and beliefs over the course of a pretty intense (for her) 18-month period. She does a lovely job. If you lack empathy toward 30-something introspection, political opinions (that may not agree with your own), and meaning-making of a cross-cultural and generational desire to seek answers through any source... it isn't for you. Also, if you are looking for "proof" of metaphysicism as valid or invalid... also, not for you. For me, I loved it, but I did grow up with a tarot card reading mother who kept a roof over our heads in the 80's and 90's by reading like Miss Cleo on the psychic hotlines. Ms. Loustalot wrote a charming and intelligent memoir that tackles the unknown with poetic insight.
Profile Image for Bari Dzomba.
404 reviews1 follower
December 10, 2018
Giving this 2 stars only because I feel sorry for the author. I actually started to enjoy the book in the beginning and then it completely fell apart. This book is disorganized and all over the place.
61 reviews3 followers
June 28, 2019
So, I wasn't going to write a review, but I looked up the author on Twitter, and she wrote that she was enjoying the negative reviews because they mean that she is "hitting a nerve." I'd like to disabuse her of that notion.

People don't like your book because it's poorly titled. It's not about what it claims to be about.

People don't like your book because you were lazy with your research and played it off by just saying that these things are "hard to prove " Psychics and spirituality are popular topics. You had a wealth of information available to you that you chose not to use.

People don't like your book because your day-to-day life just isn't that interesting, and you spent most of the time rambling about your boyfriends, pilates, and random celebrities you like.

It's not because you hit a nerve. It's because this book was poorly written. Instead of patting yourself on the back for irritating people, use this as an opportunity to grow.
Profile Image for Linda Leenig.
2 reviews1 follower
December 6, 2018
A self absorbed, trivial and meaningless memoir. More about her life tribulations than about a search for any type of mystical knowledge. I ended up knowing more about her and her various dysfunctions (and don't we all have them!) than I did about psychics. The only reason I gave it 3 stars was that I felt badly giving less as she does know how to write. Next time, call it what it is and don't use a thinly veiled disguise of 'researching' for mystical knowledge. This book is exactly why I don't write; it would end up being all about me.
Profile Image for T.B. Cooper.
89 reviews1 follower
December 5, 2018
Number one, (her) writing is clear & concise; when she makes a point. Until that moment, she weaves together via bird-walking, short stories about herself; conversations she’s had with a friend(s); a conversation/lesson/or meeting with a mystic/psychic/or shaman etc.; some well-researched information and/or statistical data related to that chapter’s topic; and usually (maybe) a beautiful quote or two, either known or newly said by one of her many sources.

There are 32 chapters, split over 253 pages of what is meant to tell THIS woman’s spiritual journey, or start & progression of it, thus far.

*A quick side note: I only found ONE ‘typo’, and it wasn’t until Chapter 19, 1st page, where “I” was meant to be BEFORE “thought”, instead of after; which, for me who is CONSTANTLY marking the books I read and personally alerting authors/their editors of the ‘oopsies’, was impressive. Not because it just meant that she might have a great proofreader, but because I know from experience that when writing about one’s self and our stories, our pains and our passions… it causes us to lose some of the linguistical (<<
Anyway… this is a MEMOIR. Yeah, maybe you caught that in the book’s description. Maybe some folks didn’t? Reading through a couple reviews led me to think maybe they thought it was some type of self-help book; a Where to Find a Real Psychic in 2018 book? “The title was misleading”?? Um, no. Not at all. Ms. Loustalot LITERALLY talks about having been a skeptic of all things magic and/or religious since she was a little girl and realized Santa & the Easter Bunny weren’t real, and about what made her talk to a psychic in the first place, but also how the events of her life (intermingled with life in this current world in general) led her to want to know more and to question EVERYTHING.

This leads me to the political part of the reviews which I feel some people will have a hard time getting away from. So, I guess if you’re a hardcore Trump Supporter, who can’t for the life of them understand why ANYONE would feel unease at him being our President- then please, don’t bother reading this beautiful story. While Ms. Loustalot is clearly NOT a Trump Supporter and DID vote for Hillary, her political views not only are minimally discussed (there are 253 pages after all), but those views are EQUALLY JUST AS VALID as are her religious views, in a story about the twists and turns of life & her spiritual awakening, in a story… that is HERS TO TELL.

She does not write pages without end of her distaste for #45, merely mentions him and certain aspects of his administration that bother her, here and there. But she, just like a large number of Americans (not just Hillary supporters, but also former Trump Supporters), as well as people all over the world in many different countries, has a sincere dislike of (him). As it always is the case with all political leaders.

Someone’s political and religious views are respectfully THEIR OWN. She CAN voice her opinions, her distrust, and her concerns… in a book… about HER, all she wants. But, to rip her apart as just a sore Hillary Supporter/Buttercup, tells me the story was unfortunately read by someone with not only opposing political values than the author but also someone with a closed mind that, CLEARLY DIDN’T READ the book. Because that’s not what this story was about. At all. Really.

Ms. Loustalot has done a wonderful, sometimes heartbreakingly honest, job of exposing herself, her secrets, & her pain, but also her strength, her interestingly inquisitive mind, and her growing self-awareness and empathy, all while on a journey most people will never take, and if they do they’d rarely share it this openly.

Truly, shame on those who judge her as just a 30 something with ‘boyfriend angst’ or whatever… or really just judge her at all. There were many quotable spots that I’ve highlighted, that I will personally write to Ms. Loustalot myself, to express how they made me feel exactly; but this one, from one of her sources, a teacher/astrologer named Hunter, seems quite relevant to the point I’m trying to make:

“Shut up until you feel their suffering… If you can’t feel someone’s suffering, you’re not qualified to speak, because you are not fully comprehending who it is you are speaking to.”

(It’s) all about empathy. Listen and feel what they felt when they went through whatever it is that they did. We all have our own burdens to carry; some of us carry more, some less… but to actually FEEL each other’s journey, by simply listening, is the first step to repairing the bonds that make us human.

I intended to use that quote here, in a way, against those who actually judged her story- because, I mean- c’mon, really? Aren’t we supposed to be more civilized than that? What did you read/pick a memoir for if you weren’t going to have an open mind going into it? How do we begin to learn about each other & understand one another if we shut down and stop listening as the first opinion expressed or experience described that isn’t in line with our own, is uttered?

Realistically, all you can ‘ethically’ comment on as a fellow human being, regarding someone’s memoir, is:

-Grammatical/Spelling Errors? No (okay, just that one I mentioned)
-Hard to read? Nope, read it in one day
-Did you like the story? (Only a Yes or a No is acceptable here because the next question is almost definitely…)
-Why or Why not?

An honest review should be exactly that, honest… but with a bit of tact & decency. This is a Non-Fiction book; a story about a Real LIVING Person. To criticize the story as though this were some RomCom featured in a book club is disgraceful. Freedom of Speech/Freedom of Expression- yes, I get that… but a lot can be said for having a bit of empathy and keeping our humanity in check.

And yes, some people who actually READ it, won’t like this story because there are some events that take place in this woman’s life that could be triggers (sexual assault is discussed, there’s a memory of a molestation incident by a peer, there’s an abortion). Or maybe, and probably the most likely, and coincidentally, the ONLY TRULY ACCEPTABLE answer to “if you did or did not like someone’s memoir”: You couldn’t/didn’t relate. And that’s about as honest as you’d have to be, while still appearing to be a decent human being, publicly at least. Because NOT relating to someone is more than fine. There are billions of people on this planet, all with our own views of life & paths to venture.

It saddens me that when someone does open up their heart some of the first responders are some of the most vicious.

This was an enjoyable read. It was for me, easy to relate to in many ways. I commend the author for having the courage to ‘expose her vulnerability’as she did.

And just FYI… No, I didn’t get paid or asked to read this book; I selected it as my December First Read. No, I don’t know Ms. Loustalot (although, after reading her memoir, I’d truly like to meet her and compare notes). And no, I am NOT a Trump, Hillary, Bernie, or Mickey Mouse supporter, thank you, very much.
3 reviews
December 24, 2018
I found myself wishing I could read at 4X speed. There is so much underbrush to wade through to get a view of the occasional tree that it turned into a long read. It is a long book.
There are some well-written pages around the 70% mark, but the book has a rambling quality that makes it seem a long drawn-out confessional rather than an objective search to discover validity in the psychic/mystic business of retail fortune-telling. Hoping for some insight into this realm of mediums, but it seemed a skim-over rather than an engaging research project.
Profile Image for Vivian.
24 reviews
December 1, 2018
From my editor’s letter:

In Future Perfect, journalist Victoria Loustalot leaves no tarot card unturned. Witty and thought-provoking, Victoria’s writing reads like a best friend telling you her life story while simultaneously asking Big Life Questions like, if we could find out exactly what the future held, wouldn’t we want to know? I think I would.

But while many women—and men—swear by their horoscope, Victoria isn’t so sure. When, at her best friend’s bachelorette party in Montreal, she meets a psychic who predicts when, where, and how she will meet her future boyfriend, Victoria takes that information with skepticism. And when he comes into her life exactly as predicted, Victoria must reckon with her assumptions about the mystical world. Maybe they’re not all trying to pull the wool over her eyes. But if that’s true, what else can be true? From there, Victoria embarks on a fact-finding—and soul-defining—mission as she meets and interviews an eclectic and surprisingly sophisticated array of modern and historical mystics, mystic researchers, scientists, doctors, and anthropologists to get to the truth.

What if you could find some semblance of control, and what if that were through an unlikely channel like a psychic? No matter where your beliefs lie, we live in uncertain times. Victoria found that was exactly what was happening: an increasing number of young people were flocking to psychics, astrologers, and the like to help clarify a hazy future. Her findings are illuminating.
Profile Image for Sarah.
1,846 reviews52 followers
December 13, 2018
I am glad this was free via Amazon Prime.
There were moments and passages in this that I highlighted and enjoyed but on the whole those were singular moments of clarity in a confused mess of stories and thoughts. I would finish a chapter, some of which were very short, and wonder how it tied together. It's possible in the end everything knitted together strongly but by that point I was so wore out and ready for the book to be over that I ended up skim reading.
The book is definitely less of a the 'search' and more of the 'skeptic', and she does at times succeed in making them fit. Showing you how her journey affected her, both the one leading to what she was doing and the journey for the mystics. But overall the bulk of what I'll remember from the book is the stories of her, which were not what I was going in for. That's totally A-OK if you go into this reading for Victoria's story, but I was more interested in her 'Search' so it was a miss for me.
Profile Image for Johnny.
Author 10 books144 followers
February 12, 2019
In case you think the two-star rating on Future Perfect: A Skeptic’s Search for an Honest Mystic is strictly related to my pro-Christian bias, I assure you that it is not. The two-star rating relates to what I perceived as a lack of balance and a book which doesn’t really support its title I suppose it was only fair that I looked at the “other side” after I had read a book writing about miracles from the Christian perspective. I had been pleasantly surprised by Lee Strobel’s The Case for Miracles in that it had presented some solid anti-Christian or non-theistic impressions and arguments. When I saw the title of Future Perfect: A Skeptic’s Search for an Honest Mystic, I thought I had found the balanced volume from the other side. I didn’t.
Victoria Loustalot is a young woman who starts her journey with a trip that was not her idea. As a lark, her friends at a bachelorette party decide to go to a shamanistic/psychic for a “reading.” She is unconvinced prior to the reading, looks for the familiar con-artist tricks during the reading, and doesn’t really take it to heart until well after the reading. But even as she tried to explain how the reading didn’t fit her logically, she opts to write this book and becomes ever more convinced of supernatural reality and the ability of some (if not all) people to tap into this “energy” (for lack of a better word). To me, the book becomes less and less balanced as it moves on; it seems Ms. Loustalot herself becomes more and more acritical as she progresses (authorial “Stockholm Syndrome?”). I wish she had interviewed more people who were opposite this spiritual (without being religious) view, much like Strobel did with the Christian idea of miracles), but it seems (from her own words) that this book, and proving that the subject she was covering was important, became the focus rather than a genuine journey which the cover promised.

My misgivings out of the way, let’s consider some of the significant lessons or challenges which I found in the book itself. After her brief autobiographical sharing of the bachelorette party, she begins to pour the foundation for the rest of her book by asserting that the general population is more interested in the supernatural and less interested in religion. She does this by pointing out the prodigious rise in volume for New Age/Psychic websites and decline in traditional religious practice. On p. 29, she cites the public embracing of supernatural outside of faith despite a drastic dip in religious faith. She concludes: “We still want purpose. We still want meaning. But we’re no longer looking for this in houses of worsip but in the houses of the zodiac.” (p. 29) Later, she cites a 2010 study from the Fetzer Institute to solidify this claim, observing that the survey showed, “60% of Americans felt they had grown increasingly spiritual over the years.” (p. 84) And, this fits very nicely with a study cited on p. 97 which claims that four in 10 Americans have not discovered a satisfying life purpose.

Now, in all fairness, the book does admit that some of the experiences where psychic readings come true may be due to the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon (where things one has heard more recently seem more significant) combined with a confirmation bias toward the veracity of the reading’s claims (p. 31). I also really liked the book’s emphasis on intuition as related to the “good gut connection” which shows how these viscera form a body’s second brain: “…the mind-gut connection is perhaps not only metaphorical. ‘Our brain and gut are connected by an extensive network of neurons and a highway of chemicals and hormones that constantly provide feedback about how hungry we are, whether or not we’re experiencing stress, or if we’ve ingested a disease-causing microbe.’” (citing Justin and Erica Sonnenburg of the Stanford University School of Medicine’s Department of Microbiology and Immunology on p. 94). I also appreciated the study cited on p. 229 that stated that out of 184 cases where psychological profiles were used in an attempt to solve a case, only five of them could attribute any help to the profile.

I was somewhat intrigued as she talked about the benefits of “spirituality” over “religion.” At one point, Ms. Loustalot writes: “Conviction is expressed verbally. We hear it. Conviction has the mic. Confidence rests just below and is what makes us pick up the microphone. We see confidence (or strong self-image), and we understand it’s necessity, ….Peel back the red herring of confidence to the layer below, and here is where we believe. Belief births confidence and conviction.” (p. 77) Sounds good, but then note her cautionary words on p. 84: “The difference between believing in and calling on guidance from an alternate creator or god or beautiful mother lover of the divine is negligible.” It seems to me as if she contradicts herself, first demonstrating the necessity of belief and then, denying it.

As a religious leader myself, I do note that there is some truth in her critique of religion on p. 188. She says that spiritual and religious leaders emphasize actions more than the point because, she hypothesizes, that most leaders have only memorized “that stuff” rather than embodying it. She goes on to define religion as a practice that takes the place of interior work. “Religion is multiplying your multiplication tables; spirituality is learning why the multiplication tables work--…” (p. 192).

I was intrigued by a quotation from Dr. Lisa J. Miller, Professor of Psychology and Director of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University. Dr. Miller said, “Development science shows us that infants at birth show care. Infants have the capacity to perceive suffering and distress, and the motive to soothe and ameliorate suffering.” (p. 235) In addition, I enjoyed the reference to fMRI research showing that when participants in a study saw a religious symbol that was personally significant to them, pain was lessened (p. 238).

However, I should warn male readers that the author of this book is a single woman, writing after two unsuccessful long-term relationships. As such, there are occasional slams at patriarchal elements of societies and the male gender in general. One such example was the comment about men who think that 52 is the new 35. She writes, “It is not. What it’s actually like is the television series that stays on the air a season (or several) too long.” (p. 219) Outside of the fact that I am a male and I am a professing Christian, I found the book to be interesting reading—just not the balanced presentation for which I was looking.
Profile Image for Terri.
22 reviews
June 12, 2019
I thought this book was thoughtful and provocative, but it has a tendency to meander. She almost lost me in the middle but then managed to get back on track and drive her narrative forward.

The best part of this book, for me, was the idea that a person can be successful, and interesting, and smart and capable in a whole host of ways, and is still seeking. Validation. Answers. Love. Whatever. We generally think that when someone presents themselves well, that they've got "it" all figured out, but that's so often not the case. Ms. Loustalot's journey through this book reminds us of that. And reminds us that even if we are smart/capable/together, we can still be swayed by the ideas people we decide to trust put in our heads.

I only recommend this book if you're looking to identify holes in your thinking. It's not for everyone, but I do think it was interesting and worth my time.
Profile Image for Jennifer Ferencz.
32 reviews2 followers
February 19, 2019
I agree with most of the other one-star reviews, but I'll reiterate:

-- rambling, disjointed narrative with short, choppy chapters
-- very wordy. It felt vaguely like a college English essay at times
-- most profound quotes come from other authors
-- no throughline or keen takeaway other than she is a liberal, millenial who lives in New York

This was a free Kindle First book, and I couldn't finish it. I'm the type that ALWAYS finishes a book, mostly because regardless of the story/writing, I'm invested in the character. There was nothing to be invested in with this book. I felt guilty marking it as "Read" on goodreads. I jumped to the ending to make sure I wasn't missing something. I wasn't.
2 reviews
December 8, 2018
Shortcomings

Would have been better if her inability to accept reality hadn't gotten in the way. I tired early on with her snide remarks regarding the POTUS. Life goes on.
Profile Image for Terry Berger.
100 reviews
December 18, 2018
Made it a third of the way - and fear that's as far as I will get for now. Unorganized, even for a memoir, and a politically motivated. Not what I was hopping for
Profile Image for Kristi Lamont.
2,157 reviews74 followers
December 23, 2019
Good Lord, what a slung together bunch of hooey this was. Not to mention navel gazing of the worst sort. But I have only myself to blame, I should've known to quit reading when I got to p65 and Ms Loustalot gave us a sweet little homily about the poetry inherent in saying, "What 'they' is," vs what it (implied) is. She quotes from a Tobias Wolff short story:

"He did remember heat and a baseball field....One of the boys brought his cousin from Mississippi, who used the phrase 'they is.' As in 'Short's the best position they is.' Anders remembers being roused, elated, by those final two words, their unexpectedness and their music. Now, just before death, Anders' mind chanted, They is, they is, they is."

Umm, lady? That's the way those who speak in a certain Southern dialect say, "There is."

[Rolls eyes so hard and so far back in her head they get stuck there.]

Very thankful this was a free Kindle read.
Profile Image for Vanessa Cubillo.
21 reviews6 followers
March 10, 2020
I tried to finish this book but every time I would read it, I would fall into a bad mood. The author’s negative tone is so palpable that from the very first chapter I know how this story will end. I wanted to read this because the premise of a skeptic looking into the mystical world sounded like it could be fun and interesting. As someone who has no strong beliefs on the topic either way, I felt like I would enjoy it.

However, it’s apparent from the beginning that the author never intended to go into this with an open mind. Instead, she rolls her eyes with her nose stuck in the air wanting anyone who believes in the mystical to feel stupid. Every person or topic she discusses she has to insult and belittle, so desperate to show the reader that she would never actually believe in any of this. No, she’s way too smart, and she’ll show you with her expansive vocabulary.

I imagine the author as Lena Dunham’s character on Girls; a writer who views themselves as talented and witty with a unique flair for writing, when in reality she’s just a privileged English major who wants to write about herself and her relationships. I read more about her political views and dating life than I did about the actual topic I paid for. So for my own sanity, I’m going to do what her publisher should have done and pass on this book.
Profile Image for Molly.
706 reviews36 followers
December 27, 2018
Like other reviewers, I found that the author didn’t really spend much time seriously investing in spiritual growth related topics, visiting psychics and predicting the future are usually for entertainment and do not represent any kind of organizing spiritual path or particular truth. She briefly mentioned witches like they are imaginary and really only danced lightly with the primary themes of the book. However, I liked her writing style and was interested in her life and the memoir as a whole and thought it was a good read. I wish it had *just* been presented as a memoir and a personal journey, rather than anything else, because trying to shoehorn some minimal research into it made those parts feel forced—like she was trying to squeeze them into a box she’d committed to, when she really wanted to go somewhere else entirely.
Profile Image for Heidi Barley.
Author 4 books14 followers
January 10, 2021
I hate to be mean but this was a truly awful book. What is billed as a search for proof of the supernatural is an uninteresting, self-indulgent biography of an average woman. The information on her supernatural experimentation (as superficial as it is, since her research was apparently a single conversation with a handful of practitioners and one correspondence course) is extremely sparse. I learned more about the author’s lunch habits and her unnamed boyfriend than the veracity of psychics, voodoo and other subjects. I admit, I started skimming in the astrology chapter when she went on a multi-page description of her favorite movie, actress and how that connected with getting a Barbie dream house as a child.

Please don’t read this book.
Profile Image for Tiff.
77 reviews3 followers
December 28, 2018
In theory this memoir had a lot of potential. In reality it was an unskilled, unfocused excuse for the author to talk about herself. Future Perfect was far from present perfect. Loustalot seemed incapable of completing a thought or creating a cohesive and meaningful story line. An endless series of run-on sentences and seemingly randomly placed quotes dominated the first 39% (all I managed to read before flat out giving up.) This was an example of everything that is wrong with stream of consciousness and none of the good. What's worse is that I don't think it was intended to be stream of consciousness at all. My biggest question is, "How did this get published in the first place?" --This book was provided to me for free through Amazon First Reads.
Profile Image for CM.
116 reviews1 follower
January 29, 2020
this is actually a memoir about the lifecycle of a relationship, sprinkled with elements of what this book is supposed to be about/sold as.

a pretty clear example of a writer not being able to deliver the book she was paid to write and somehow* pivoting to turning in a poorly conceived memoir that should have been a straight-to-diary set of reflections.

(*"somehow" meaning she's a young white woman in publishing so of course there are endless second chances and accomodations available to her.)
Profile Image for Ali.
332 reviews
January 16, 2020
Very misleading title. The book is more about the author's search for meaning in life in general, with very little leaning on facts, research, or any sort of organized argument designed to convince the reader of anything.

Some interesting moments but overall this felt so intensely personal to the author that it was hard to connect with. It seemed like some chapters would have been better off as standalone articles.
4 reviews
April 9, 2020
The author spent most of her time picking at her own navel. Her level of insight left me puzzled as to what she felt gave her the right to judge others so harshly. Why would any man put up with someone so rigid in her life approach? It was a waste of time. I'll certainly not bother with any of her other "works".
44 reviews11 followers
January 12, 2019
This book is full of wonderful references.

However, it is pretentious, the title is misleading, the insights are derivative, and it meanders into a total memoir as opposed to discussing at length fact, fiction, and fraud of mystics. At least it was free on Kindle.
Profile Image for rumbledethumps.
408 reviews
December 11, 2018
I think this book is mis-titled, as very little of this book was actually about a skeptic's search for an honest mystic. Most for this book was about the author's meanderings, celebrity sightings, and navel-gazing. She's a competent writer, and has some good insights, but it just wasn't the kind of spiritual memoir I was expecting or looking for.
Profile Image for Karen.
963 reviews14 followers
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May 6, 2019
I admit I got this mainly because I saw a review from a Trump supporter who was offended by it. I connected strongly with parts of this memoir. As I read about the author's explorations and interviews with psychics and mystics and others, interspersed with tales of her love life, I came across a few ideas that struck me as worth further contemplation. It's a shame that the Trump supporter who wrote that review I saw didn't finish the book, because there are some thoughts on empathy here that that person could benefit from if they were able to open their heart and mind.
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