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You Are Not a Rock: A Step-by-Step Guide to Better Mental Health
7 Hours and 29 Minutes
Mental health is . . . being yourself.
A prescriptive and positive guide, illustrated with line drawings, making the case that mental well-being, like physical health, can be strengthened over time and with specific techniques
We all want to feel less anxiety, guilt, anger and sadness. We want to obsess less and be less lonely, free ourselves from our demons, compulsive habits, and stress. But as humans (unlike rocks) we experience all of these. And paradoxically, trying to avoid and control them only makes things worse. Having struggled with serious mental illness for many years himself, Mark Freeman has become a dedicated mental-health advocate and coach. He makes the case that instead of trying to feel less and avoid pain and stress, we need to build emotional fitness, especially our capacity for strength, balance and focus. With wit, compassion and depth of experience and anecdotes, he shows that we can recover from many mental disorders, from mild to very serious, at all ages and stages of life, and even if other methods have failed. Freeman's innovative approach makes use of a range of therapeutic techniques, mindfulness training, peer support, humor and common sense.
Mental health is . . . being yourself.
A prescriptive and positive guide, illustrated with line drawings, making the case that mental well-being, like physical health, can be strengthened over time and with specific techniques
We all want to feel less anxiety, guilt, anger and sadness. We want to obsess less and be less lonely, free ourselves from our demons, compulsive habits, and stress. But as humans (unlike rocks) we experience all of these. And paradoxically, trying to avoid and control them only makes things worse. Having struggled with serious mental illness for many years himself, Mark Freeman has become a dedicated mental-health advocate and coach. He makes the case that instead of trying to feel less and avoid pain and stress, we need to build emotional fitness, especially our capacity for strength, balance and focus. With wit, compassion and depth of experience and anecdotes, he shows that we can recover from many mental disorders, from mild to very serious, at all ages and stages of life, and even if other methods have failed. Freeman's innovative approach makes use of a range of therapeutic techniques, mindfulness training, peer support, humor and common sense.
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First published September 4, 2018
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About the author
Mark Freeman
95 books20 followersLibrarian Note:
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There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
This profile may contain books from multiple authors of this name.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews
December 21, 2020
Great little book for working on gaining and maintaining good mental health. The biggest difference in the author's approach is focusing on actions rather than thoughts or feelings.
January 10, 2019
This book relies on an exercise metaphor that makes a lot of sense: You can't wake up one day and instantly run a marathon without any previous training. You also can't wake up one day and expect to have excellent mental health without any training. To succeed, you must exercise and discipline your (physical or mental) muscles, and Mark Freeman shows you exactly how to do that.
This is an excellent book for people who want to better process the scary emotions that come with life (like fear, stress, and anxiety) in healthy, mindful ways. It is NOT easy. It takes an incredible amount of self-discipline, because basically you're basically re-wiring your brain.
Without going into too much detail, I have experienced life-altering results with this book. It's a journey and a process, but I've finally found an approach that works well for me.
This is an excellent book for people who want to better process the scary emotions that come with life (like fear, stress, and anxiety) in healthy, mindful ways. It is NOT easy. It takes an incredible amount of self-discipline, because basically you're basically re-wiring your brain.
Without going into too much detail, I have experienced life-altering results with this book. It's a journey and a process, but I've finally found an approach that works well for me.
March 3, 2025
4 ⭐️
“the practice of caring for your health is a lifestyle, it’s a way of living. It’s not a magic pill, an app, a device, or mantra. It’s a way of doing what you do, wherever you are, wherever you’re going.”
i took a lot of notes while reading this book. i took my time reading through the chapters, did some of the exercises that are found at the end of each chapter, and tried to relate the concepts back to things i’ve previously experienced in my life, things i’m going through right now, or things i’m anticipating going through in the future. i liked the structure of this book, because although tackling mental health can be daunting, painful, and provoke many sad thoughts or turbulent emotions, mark freeman was able to have light discourse and infuse a bit of humour into his guide. normalizing mental illness is one of the most important things we can do in helping ourselves and others come to terms with the fact that it’s okay not to have perfect mental health, which i think was really well done in this book.
there were a lot of analogies, and in some cases they felt extreme or odd. i think the extremeness of some of these analogies were a great way to show how sometimes we hyperbolize our anxieties and fears into something much bigger than reality may actually be. i also feel like they helped to understand some of the concepts freeman was trying to showcase in the book. no one book, one video, or one period of time is sufficient to “cure” mental health, which is something he mentions at the end of the book. he hopes that it can at least be a start or give people a sense of understanding and direction in their journey to better their mental health, which i think this book does!
as someone who has been working on her mental health for many years now and who has come from a place of deep insecurity to now accepting a lot of things about myself and finding happiness in the things that i either can or can’t control, a lot of the concepts in this book were familiar to me. i thought they were well explained, and while i’m not sure how much this book will help me personally, i do believe that a lot of people who are just beginning their journey with mental health can have a lot to learn about it and themselves.
“the practice of caring for your health is a lifestyle, it’s a way of living. It’s not a magic pill, an app, a device, or mantra. It’s a way of doing what you do, wherever you are, wherever you’re going.”
i took a lot of notes while reading this book. i took my time reading through the chapters, did some of the exercises that are found at the end of each chapter, and tried to relate the concepts back to things i’ve previously experienced in my life, things i’m going through right now, or things i’m anticipating going through in the future. i liked the structure of this book, because although tackling mental health can be daunting, painful, and provoke many sad thoughts or turbulent emotions, mark freeman was able to have light discourse and infuse a bit of humour into his guide. normalizing mental illness is one of the most important things we can do in helping ourselves and others come to terms with the fact that it’s okay not to have perfect mental health, which i think was really well done in this book.
there were a lot of analogies, and in some cases they felt extreme or odd. i think the extremeness of some of these analogies were a great way to show how sometimes we hyperbolize our anxieties and fears into something much bigger than reality may actually be. i also feel like they helped to understand some of the concepts freeman was trying to showcase in the book. no one book, one video, or one period of time is sufficient to “cure” mental health, which is something he mentions at the end of the book. he hopes that it can at least be a start or give people a sense of understanding and direction in their journey to better their mental health, which i think this book does!
as someone who has been working on her mental health for many years now and who has come from a place of deep insecurity to now accepting a lot of things about myself and finding happiness in the things that i either can or can’t control, a lot of the concepts in this book were familiar to me. i thought they were well explained, and while i’m not sure how much this book will help me personally, i do believe that a lot of people who are just beginning their journey with mental health can have a lot to learn about it and themselves.
October 30, 2018
Not a bad book. Good for anxiety disorders and an introduction to mental illness. It never did go farther in depth than light and superficial stuff that people worry about (like a compulsion to check your phone), which leaves out a lot of mental illness symptoms. That was kinda disappointing. Either way, it was a fun read
Read
May 6, 2019A mental health-related self-help book that I heard about because a friend posted this interview with the author connecting it to writing practice, and it was enough to intrigue me: http://blog.lareviewofbooks.org/inter.... I have some significant misgivings, which I talk about below, but there are some core practices in this book that feel solid, useful to me, and probably quite broadly useful. According to the book, a lot of our time and energy goes into trying to avoid negative feelings, when instead what we really need to be doing is building up our capacity to experience said feelings and keep moving forward despite them towards what we really want. We need, it suggests, to examine the logics of the decisions in our lives, from the moment-to-moment choices we make to the big life altering sort. Often, those decisions are what he calls "compulsions," aimed at stopping the experience of negative feelings through avoidance, checking, or control. We need to develop our capacities to interrupt those compulsions, and instead work to base our decisions not on immediate reactivity to feelings (or to the possibility of feelings) but on a sort of whole-person sense of what our long-term values are. Sometimes, getting to where we want to go involves being able to sit with things that don't feel very good in the moment. "Values" is the key term the book counterposes to "compulsions." Mindfulness is one of the key tools the book recommends to build our capacity to intervene in our decisions in this way. This sort of careful consideration of how we make choices and how we spend our time is right up my alley, and it feels quite useful to me...though, to be honest, it felt like a lot of the ongoing reflection on time-use choices that have been part of my everyday since I decided to give being a writer a shot 21 years ago means I'm not starting from quite the place that the book anticipates.
My concerns with the book are extensive, however. What gets built on top of its core insights and practices has obviously been very helpful for the author, and may be very helpful for you, but I have much more mixed feelings about a lot of it. Most seriously that includes the claim the book makes – with appropriate caveats that it's not anti-meds and that it is quite actively pro-therapy, of the right sort – that the approach in this book can cure any mental illness. I don't have the same kind of remarkable lived experience as the author, and I don't deny the book's approach could do considerable good for lots of people, but this feels like an overly-broad, misleading, and even dangerous claim. The book also does things like explain its take on mental health/illness using strange and simplistic comparisons, sometimes to physical health and sometimes to other things. Not that I'm against pushing back against a purely medicalized way of thinking about mental illness and mental health – I think it's critical to open spaces where people navigating the forms of distress that get read into mental illness categories can do exactly that – but the comparisons it makes are mostly just assertions, and as I said simplistic ones at that, without any kind of evidence or genuine critical engagement.
As well, it felt like some of the material involves the author generalizing some elements of his experience, as someone who is in recovery from what sounds like quite severe obsessive compulsive disorder, to people whose selves may be put together quite differently and/or whose mental illnesses might work quite differently. The book gives lots of examples of different kinds of behaviours drawn from everyday life, and they seem to overrepresent the author's experiences and not necessarily capture how other people may operate by quite different logics. I think it's also reflected in a more subtle way in the range of potential responses to the book that the writing seems to assume. For instance, it felt that someone already more prone not to the sort of in-the-moment compulsive behaviours that beset the author but to a sort of calm, careful, rigid, rule-bound "shoulding" (it me!) could very easily read this approach into a set of practices that is puritanical and unhealthy but in a very different way than what is mostly shown in the book. I think that is clearly a MIS-reading, and there are already resources in how the approach is presented to avoid it – rigidly following "should" like that would clearly be a form of compulsion, in this framework – but it doesn't seem to be a mis-reading that the author has given much consideration or done much in the writing to actively counter, particularly given that it would be very easy for such compulsive "shoulds" to masquerade as values.
Related to that but going far beyond, I don't think nearly enough critical attention is paid to what "values" actually means in the compulsions vs. values formula. It is treated as an obvious and natural category, when I don't think that's true at all. It is explicitly framed as distinct from and opposed to desires, whereas I would understand embodied desire to be present in both compulsions and in a whole-person understanding of values. It doesn't address the ways that "values" sometimes fails as a category, especially when considering large scale decisions. I, for instance, have managed to navigate my way into a life in which I spend rather a lot of time on my own. I really value and enjoy that and recognize it as central to me being able to do many of the things I want in life – I *like* solitude for its own sake, and it makes reading and writing and otherwise making stuff possible for me in a way that they might not otherwise be. But I also recognize that it gets in the way of other things I want in life – most particularly, the range of interpersonal intimacies that I crave, but also certain kinds of work-related opportunities – and on a certain level having a life shaped like this was at least in part a product of me making lots of (compulsive) choices in lots of moments over lots of years to reduce (avoid) social anxiety. Is having a life organized this way a product of my values? Of compulsions? What does it mean for this approach that it is really both? Plus, there's no exploration of the ways in which "values" are in fact not purely expression of individual essence but to a large extent socially produced.
Anyway. The point is, a lot of the practices the book suggests beyond the most basic ones don't feel like they particularly speak to how I'm put together as a person and to how I experience life. I do want to take up the practice of thinking about my time-use decisions in terms of the logics underlying them, as part of my extensive already-existing practices related to how I spend my days, and I do think it will do me good to cultivate a capacity to remain in rather than seek to avoid certain kinds of negative feelings. As well, mindfulness is always a good thing. But beyond those basics, a lot of what the book tries to do just doesn't feel relevant or useful.
My concerns with the book are extensive, however. What gets built on top of its core insights and practices has obviously been very helpful for the author, and may be very helpful for you, but I have much more mixed feelings about a lot of it. Most seriously that includes the claim the book makes – with appropriate caveats that it's not anti-meds and that it is quite actively pro-therapy, of the right sort – that the approach in this book can cure any mental illness. I don't have the same kind of remarkable lived experience as the author, and I don't deny the book's approach could do considerable good for lots of people, but this feels like an overly-broad, misleading, and even dangerous claim. The book also does things like explain its take on mental health/illness using strange and simplistic comparisons, sometimes to physical health and sometimes to other things. Not that I'm against pushing back against a purely medicalized way of thinking about mental illness and mental health – I think it's critical to open spaces where people navigating the forms of distress that get read into mental illness categories can do exactly that – but the comparisons it makes are mostly just assertions, and as I said simplistic ones at that, without any kind of evidence or genuine critical engagement.
As well, it felt like some of the material involves the author generalizing some elements of his experience, as someone who is in recovery from what sounds like quite severe obsessive compulsive disorder, to people whose selves may be put together quite differently and/or whose mental illnesses might work quite differently. The book gives lots of examples of different kinds of behaviours drawn from everyday life, and they seem to overrepresent the author's experiences and not necessarily capture how other people may operate by quite different logics. I think it's also reflected in a more subtle way in the range of potential responses to the book that the writing seems to assume. For instance, it felt that someone already more prone not to the sort of in-the-moment compulsive behaviours that beset the author but to a sort of calm, careful, rigid, rule-bound "shoulding" (it me!) could very easily read this approach into a set of practices that is puritanical and unhealthy but in a very different way than what is mostly shown in the book. I think that is clearly a MIS-reading, and there are already resources in how the approach is presented to avoid it – rigidly following "should" like that would clearly be a form of compulsion, in this framework – but it doesn't seem to be a mis-reading that the author has given much consideration or done much in the writing to actively counter, particularly given that it would be very easy for such compulsive "shoulds" to masquerade as values.
Related to that but going far beyond, I don't think nearly enough critical attention is paid to what "values" actually means in the compulsions vs. values formula. It is treated as an obvious and natural category, when I don't think that's true at all. It is explicitly framed as distinct from and opposed to desires, whereas I would understand embodied desire to be present in both compulsions and in a whole-person understanding of values. It doesn't address the ways that "values" sometimes fails as a category, especially when considering large scale decisions. I, for instance, have managed to navigate my way into a life in which I spend rather a lot of time on my own. I really value and enjoy that and recognize it as central to me being able to do many of the things I want in life – I *like* solitude for its own sake, and it makes reading and writing and otherwise making stuff possible for me in a way that they might not otherwise be. But I also recognize that it gets in the way of other things I want in life – most particularly, the range of interpersonal intimacies that I crave, but also certain kinds of work-related opportunities – and on a certain level having a life shaped like this was at least in part a product of me making lots of (compulsive) choices in lots of moments over lots of years to reduce (avoid) social anxiety. Is having a life organized this way a product of my values? Of compulsions? What does it mean for this approach that it is really both? Plus, there's no exploration of the ways in which "values" are in fact not purely expression of individual essence but to a large extent socially produced.
Anyway. The point is, a lot of the practices the book suggests beyond the most basic ones don't feel like they particularly speak to how I'm put together as a person and to how I experience life. I do want to take up the practice of thinking about my time-use decisions in terms of the logics underlying them, as part of my extensive already-existing practices related to how I spend my days, and I do think it will do me good to cultivate a capacity to remain in rather than seek to avoid certain kinds of negative feelings. As well, mindfulness is always a good thing. But beyond those basics, a lot of what the book tries to do just doesn't feel relevant or useful.
March 18, 2020
This is a great book full of immediately applicable resources and exercises related to fostering and maintaining one's mental health. I'd highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in examining and/or strengthening one's own mental health. I could see Health teachers using this book, or at the very least, selected exercises from this book to enhance instruction throughout a mental health unit. Even more, in the spirit of developing a mental health component to their curriculum, I could see all teachers across all content areas using exercises from this book to develop a "mindful moment" at the start or end of class. It's about time that we fully embrace mental health as an essential component to our global well-being.
June 14, 2024
this took me 6 months of picking up and putting down and slowly digesting and practicing, which i think is the way it should be read. great ACT-based self help book for anyone with anxiety, even though it’s a book aimed at OCD, i really think the way he defines a compulsion makes it applicable to people who don’t necessarily have a clinical diagnosis of ocd. even though ive read a lot of things on act aimed at clinicians and written by psychologists, this book made ACT make way more sense to me and made it way more approachable! so even though he says dumb stuff like “Awesome Schedule” and “all of the things” sometimes i forgive him because this book gave me completely novel things
to think about when it comes to anxiety and it’s really helped me + helped my work with clients!
to think about when it comes to anxiety and it’s really helped me + helped my work with clients!
November 5, 2024
I find Mark’s approach to be incredibly helpful and accessible. Approaching mental health like physical health is a simple but effective metaphor. We can define ourselves by the healthy direction we’re moving in and the mental fitness we are building, not our weaknesses. We can only choose how to act right now, in this moment, in a way that brings us closer to where we want to be, regardless of the emotions, physical sensations, and thoughts we’re experiencing.
Learning to bring all feelings and physical sensations along for the ride, while understanding that trying to control them makes them cling harder, has been a massive perspective shift for me.
Learning to bring all feelings and physical sensations along for the ride, while understanding that trying to control them makes them cling harder, has been a massive perspective shift for me.
March 30, 2024
LOVE this book! I cried several times during this book. I learned things about myself that I didn’t want to face, and more importantly, learned that I can tackle those things if I am willing to make it happen. I love books with actionable content, that don’t make everything sound like rainbows and butterflies but acknowledge how hard things are AND you are strong enough to make it through them.
Whether you know you struggle with mental illness or not, read this book. Read it for your friends, your neighbors, your coworkers…and you may find you’re reading it for yourself after all.
Whether you know you struggle with mental illness or not, read this book. Read it for your friends, your neighbors, your coworkers…and you may find you’re reading it for yourself after all.
March 4, 2025
“This won't be the last book you read about mental health. The exercises we've covered won't be the last exercises you learn. But I hope this is the beginning of a journey for you, a journey of many steps, as you push into difficult experiences, building and increasing your emotional fitness level, moving in the direction of your values, up and over many challenges along the way. As you take those steps, remember to breathe. If you stumble off the path on your journey, breathe. In the present, you can always take a step aligned with your values. That next step is the one that matters. The step you take now. In what direction will you step? Where are you going?”
Just need to figure out where I’m going! And breathe! 🧘🏼♀️ Great book. Definitely recommend for anyone who wants to improve their mental health. 💪🏻
Just need to figure out where I’m going! And breathe! 🧘🏼♀️ Great book. Definitely recommend for anyone who wants to improve their mental health. 💪🏻
February 25, 2019
A great book on caring for our own mental health. Better to have a print or digital copy than audio in order to take full advantage of the exercises outlined in the book. Multiple readings are beneficial.
December 31, 2021
Highly recommend for anyone experiencing anxiety or suffering from an anxiety disorder.
dnf
November 12, 2024guys nvm not going to work on my mental health with this book
January 14, 2019
Highly recommend it
After I discovered ACT, I got hooked. ACT and this book are what I have always needed. It is like life now makes sense - all those urges, fears and compulsions... I thought I was the only one in the world. No other approached has helped me like this one. Mark does a great job at expanding and offering specific exercises based on Mindfulness and ACT.
After I discovered ACT, I got hooked. ACT and this book are what I have always needed. It is like life now makes sense - all those urges, fears and compulsions... I thought I was the only one in the world. No other approached has helped me like this one. Mark does a great job at expanding and offering specific exercises based on Mindfulness and ACT.
November 26, 2021
Lots of great quotes from this book, but not a lot of new information or ideas. Just another way of framing it that may work for some people. Having difficulty getting stuck in compulsions? Just think about how much better you are than a rock about making the compulsion work for your brain.
June 25, 2021
Best self-help book I've ever read. And I've read more than I'm proud of.
June 6, 2022
Vaig comprar "You Are Not a Rock" després de veure alguns dels vídeos del mateix autor, Mark Freeman, per Youtube. Algunes de les seves sèries de vídeos penjades a aquesta plataforma son realment bones i em van introduir a alguns conceptes interessants.
You Are Not a Rock és un bon llibre que m'ha ajudat a entendre una mica més a fons alguns dels mecanismes i punts en comú que presenten diferents patrons de compulsió / control / comprovació que podem dur a terme durant el dia. El llibre parla de la importància de solucionar els nostres problemes enlloc de solucionar i intentar controlar les nostres compulsions i sentiments. La salut mental és, en paraules de Freeman, en realitat, "la pràctica de ser nosaltres mateixos" malgrat els entrebancs que el nostre cervell ens posa (amb la millor de les seves intencions) i el llibre dona eines per fer-ho.
No donaria 5 estrelles al llibre per un parell de motius. El primer, perquè penso que no hagués sigut tan útil o fàcil d'entendre si no hagués llegit prèviament alguns conceptes sobre la teràpia de compromís i acceptació (ACT) com els que per exemple explica amb bastant detall La Trampa de la Felicitat (The Happiness Trap), de Russ Harris. El segon, perquè la primera part ("els bàsics") m'ha agradat més que la segona part ("la transformació"); ja que algunes de les activitats proposades després de cada capítol semblaven estar una mica més forçades i desconnectades del que acabava d'explicar en els capítols de la segona part.
En tot cas, el tornaria a comprar i el tornaria a llegir perquè definitivament n'he tret beneficis però potser no és de tanta ajuda com altres llibres ho han pogut ser en el passat.
You Are Not a Rock és un bon llibre que m'ha ajudat a entendre una mica més a fons alguns dels mecanismes i punts en comú que presenten diferents patrons de compulsió / control / comprovació que podem dur a terme durant el dia. El llibre parla de la importància de solucionar els nostres problemes enlloc de solucionar i intentar controlar les nostres compulsions i sentiments. La salut mental és, en paraules de Freeman, en realitat, "la pràctica de ser nosaltres mateixos" malgrat els entrebancs que el nostre cervell ens posa (amb la millor de les seves intencions) i el llibre dona eines per fer-ho.
No donaria 5 estrelles al llibre per un parell de motius. El primer, perquè penso que no hagués sigut tan útil o fàcil d'entendre si no hagués llegit prèviament alguns conceptes sobre la teràpia de compromís i acceptació (ACT) com els que per exemple explica amb bastant detall La Trampa de la Felicitat (The Happiness Trap), de Russ Harris. El segon, perquè la primera part ("els bàsics") m'ha agradat més que la segona part ("la transformació"); ja que algunes de les activitats proposades després de cada capítol semblaven estar una mica més forçades i desconnectades del que acabava d'explicar en els capítols de la segona part.
En tot cas, el tornaria a comprar i el tornaria a llegir perquè definitivament n'he tret beneficis però potser no és de tanta ajuda com altres llibres ho han pogut ser en el passat.
September 4, 2020
Mark Freeman has provided an invaluable resource for the maintenance of good emotional and psychological health. His book clearly lays out healthy alternatives to the exhausting and ineffective thinking styles we often use to combat difficult thoughts and feelings. Whilst this book is geared more directly to those struggling with obsessive compulsive tendencies and anxiety, it is accessible to all.
Mark stresses that good mental health is the act of being yourself and living a life that is values-driven rather than fear-reactive. He draws on cognitive behavioral therapy techniques (ACT, ERP) to inform a number of useful and accessible exercises that can be used 'in-vivo' (i.e. during day-to-day life) to accept the presence of 'negative' emotion whilst living in a fulfilling and meaningful way. He helps the reader delineate what and where their unhelpful compulsions are and the lifestyle structures that support these.
This book is another tool in the kit. It is divided into steps, making it an excellence reference material to have on the shelf. The writing style is accessible and amusing. Mark shares a number of personal anecdotes detailing his journey toward a happier, healthier state of mind.
Mark stresses that good mental health is the act of being yourself and living a life that is values-driven rather than fear-reactive. He draws on cognitive behavioral therapy techniques (ACT, ERP) to inform a number of useful and accessible exercises that can be used 'in-vivo' (i.e. during day-to-day life) to accept the presence of 'negative' emotion whilst living in a fulfilling and meaningful way. He helps the reader delineate what and where their unhelpful compulsions are and the lifestyle structures that support these.
This book is another tool in the kit. It is divided into steps, making it an excellence reference material to have on the shelf. The writing style is accessible and amusing. Mark shares a number of personal anecdotes detailing his journey toward a happier, healthier state of mind.
August 10, 2021
This book is an excellent read for anyone wishing to improve their mental health. Mark Freeman's approach felt practical. Focusing on the core issue behind our mental health challenges is more productive than obsessing about categorizing and alleviating symptoms.
The basic idea behind this book is that most of us allow fears, thoughts and emotions to control our lives. We run away from and try to cover up our bad feelings by using massive coping band-aids. We avoid the things we don't want to feel or think about, and paradoxically spend a lot of time thinking about the things we don't want to be, as we engage in avoidant and controlling behaviors.
Freeman proposes we imagine our thoughts and emotions as simply passing clouds. They come and go and we can stop trying to control, avoid, and manipulate them. Instead, focus effort on building a life centered around values. This is achieved by practicing mindfulness, changing actions instead of feelings, breaking magical thinking patterns, eliminating coping compulsions, understanding yourself, and creating values to live by.
The basic idea behind this book is that most of us allow fears, thoughts and emotions to control our lives. We run away from and try to cover up our bad feelings by using massive coping band-aids. We avoid the things we don't want to feel or think about, and paradoxically spend a lot of time thinking about the things we don't want to be, as we engage in avoidant and controlling behaviors.
Freeman proposes we imagine our thoughts and emotions as simply passing clouds. They come and go and we can stop trying to control, avoid, and manipulate them. Instead, focus effort on building a life centered around values. This is achieved by practicing mindfulness, changing actions instead of feelings, breaking magical thinking patterns, eliminating coping compulsions, understanding yourself, and creating values to live by.
January 8, 2019
I really liked this! While I don't have a diagnosed mental illness, I definitely have my anxieties and compulsions, and this book really framed things in a way I could relate well to. I'm not entirely sure how effective this book would be for someone dealing with more severe issues simply because I don't personally have that experience; however, I have recommended the book to people I know who are working through various mental health problems and I hope it helps them! It was just a very clear, very positive guide with some great ideas and a focus on being yourself and being mindful. I wasn't really familiar with ACT therapy previously so that is something I am now interested in learning more about. For me, this was a great read to kick off a new year where I am focused on improving my physical and mental health - both are so important!
April 26, 2022
A rock doesn't feel, so we are no rocks.
I was quite intrigued by the title. It's not my first book about mental health, and it won't be my last. In comparison to some others, this book gives concrete tips and a concrete journey to live with anxiety and only for that I highly recommend it.
Do you know how it is to read a lot about one subject but suddenly with one book all seems clearer? That's what happened to me with this book. The exercises and examples given by the author are without doubt what helped me more. I realised how some behaviours that I thought innocent are actually compulsions triggered by anxiety. I don't have anything solved, but I feel like I could follow the step by step journey.
Totally worth reading whether you are suffering from anxiety or if you want to understand better your loved ones suffering from it.
I was quite intrigued by the title. It's not my first book about mental health, and it won't be my last. In comparison to some others, this book gives concrete tips and a concrete journey to live with anxiety and only for that I highly recommend it.
Do you know how it is to read a lot about one subject but suddenly with one book all seems clearer? That's what happened to me with this book. The exercises and examples given by the author are without doubt what helped me more. I realised how some behaviours that I thought innocent are actually compulsions triggered by anxiety. I don't have anything solved, but I feel like I could follow the step by step journey.
Totally worth reading whether you are suffering from anxiety or if you want to understand better your loved ones suffering from it.
February 4, 2022
Ok.. so basically this book has come to my life with a perfect timing. It’s a practical guide on how to approach mental health issues. Usually when people talk about mental illness automatically think about depression, OCD, schizophrenia, or others that are the most common.. but we all have compulsions as they call it on the book that work in detriment of our mental health. We need to stop feeding those in order to be healthy. In my case I noticias that most of my compulsions revolve around relationships and right now I’m in the middle process of getting to know someone so this showed what are usually my red flags and how can I stop getting so anxious around them. Thank you Mark because now I’m more conscious about how I need to deal with my feelings, emotions and situations in order to feel optimal at a mental level.
July 8, 2021
I 100% recommend everyone to read this book. I truly believe that “You are Not a Rock” helped me to grow so much as a person and was an important factor during my journey on self growth. It actually took me a little bit longer than usual to finish this book because I spent a lot of time analyzing and following every step that the book asks you to do. It made me realize that implementing small habits on our routines I used to think were just a waste of time can amazingly impact the way I look at life. This book really teaches you how to focus o actions instead of only thoughts and ideas.
October 5, 2019
Don't pursue goals that rocks can do better than you is the main point the author, Mark Freeman is making–hence the title, You Are Not a Rock.
Instead, we should pursue the life we want to create while developing mental health that allows us to accept our unwanted thoughts, feelings, and desires without letting them control our actions.
I'm not sure why this book isn't more popular or doesn't have pages of reviews on Goodreads. Still, I found it to be a lovely breath of fresh air with a lot of positive and motivational talk and guidance to help get around your brain's arguments and insecurities.
Basically, if you're a functional person, you will struggle with mental health in one way or another and that my dear sweet human, is okay. Please, reach out and talk to someone, and please show empathy and be there and supportive if someone needs to talk to you. We need to be there for people emotionally.
"Normal people don't have great mental health, just like normal people don't have great physical health. Struggling with physical health is normal. If someone is in great physical shape, it is likely they do not do the same things that the average person does. They do not act normal. And if you don't want to go back to struggling with your mental health, I don't suggest you pursue normal either."
Instead, we should pursue the life we want to create while developing mental health that allows us to accept our unwanted thoughts, feelings, and desires without letting them control our actions.
I'm not sure why this book isn't more popular or doesn't have pages of reviews on Goodreads. Still, I found it to be a lovely breath of fresh air with a lot of positive and motivational talk and guidance to help get around your brain's arguments and insecurities.
Basically, if you're a functional person, you will struggle with mental health in one way or another and that my dear sweet human, is okay. Please, reach out and talk to someone, and please show empathy and be there and supportive if someone needs to talk to you. We need to be there for people emotionally.
"Normal people don't have great mental health, just like normal people don't have great physical health. Struggling with physical health is normal. If someone is in great physical shape, it is likely they do not do the same things that the average person does. They do not act normal. And if you don't want to go back to struggling with your mental health, I don't suggest you pursue normal either."
December 8, 2025
The best self-help/mental health book I've ever read because it focuses on HOW to change your life with actual concrete exercises and practices instead of merely diagnosing the problem. The book is not interested in telling you how broken or deficient you are. It instead gives you the tools to develop a good, healthy life for yourself (if you're willing to put in the work --- we'll see about that LOL)
February 5, 2021
This book was hard to get through at times because it challenges you every chapter. At times the book may call you out for your flaws but ultimately its helpful, interesting, and vulnerable. I enjoyed following along and reading the book. It is much easier to get through if you pair reading it with another book that brings you joy haha
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 8, 2021
Empowering guide to recognizing coping strategies and replacing them for a healthier emotional lifestyle, with exercises to improve mental strength, much as you would to improve physical health. For anyone interested in becoming more resilient and removing the stigma around prioritizing mental health.
June 20, 2019
Incredible read! Author is funny, relatable, has exercises and examples in all the right places to have the perfect flow. STRONGLY recommend, especially to those who struggle with mental illness! I bookmarked almost every page with important quotes and examples I want to share with others.
December 18, 2022
I have kept this book at my bedside since opening it earlier this year, working through the exercises as I find time. I've found it to be of much value; I need to find more time to attend to the many positives Freeman coaches us in, and directs us to.
January 11, 2023
Great advice and actions to put in place to begin supporting your mental health. At some level I was a little overwhelmed with how many ideas and tactics the author gives. It was almost like trying to drink out of a fire hydrant, I didn't know where to begin.
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