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Boy Crazy: Why Monogamy Is So Hard for Gay Men and What You Can Do About It
A thorough, serious examination of monogamy and the gay male that asks, “Why is monogamy so difficult for gay men?” and “What can male couples do to maintain relationship satisfaction knowing in advance that monogamy is unlikely?” This will be the first book to use cutting-edge sex and brain research to examine monogamy in the gay male community, revealing the conclusion that gay men find long-term monogamy extremely challenging. The book explores such topics as “Challenges to Gay Monogamy” and “Hardwired Sexuality.” Michael Shelton, MC, CAC , is an author and clinician at the Joseph J. Peters Institute, a nationally recognized facility for its research into human sexuality.
- GenresLGBT
210 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
October 18, 2011
this book was by far one of the best books on contemporary gay issues that i've read.
it took an honest, brutal approach to the way that gay man interact and what their interpersonal relationships may attain. i think it offered many different perspectives on what people consider to be "monogamy" and offers a sound, palatable way to understand it. it gave me an idea of how i should consider monogamy in my life and how i should expect relationships to evolve.
for gay men that are dating and looking for a serious perspective on relationships, i highly recommend this book.
it took an honest, brutal approach to the way that gay man interact and what their interpersonal relationships may attain. i think it offered many different perspectives on what people consider to be "monogamy" and offers a sound, palatable way to understand it. it gave me an idea of how i should consider monogamy in my life and how i should expect relationships to evolve.
for gay men that are dating and looking for a serious perspective on relationships, i highly recommend this book.
October 10, 2013
This is not a review as much as a collection of notes regarding my favorite/most salient parts of the book, so bear with me.
I think that the discussions of humans being possibly wired for short-term but not long-term monogamy were interesting. Scientifically, it does make sense to form family units for the first few years of a child's life, but not necessarily lifetime partnerships.
Interesting discussion of "sexual passion" (I'd add that they're decribing NRE, or "new relationship energy," as experienced by polyamorous people) and how it fizzles down into "companionate love" after several years.
Have penises and penis size become more important as we do less physical labor? "A man is no longer measured by his physical strength - his ability to build shelter for his family, fight in hand-to-hand combat, or draw water from a well. Machines do that for him. Muscles are more symbolic than useful. So the erect penis has become the most powerfully symbolic 'muscle' of them all." - quote from A Mind Of Its Own, by David Friedman, quoted on p.81
p. 146- American culture is more intolerant of infidelity than is many other culture. Additionally, American culture is more tolerant of divorce than it it is of adultery, and in that way it favors the complete breakup of a relationship over the ability to work through or even accommodate the infidelity.
I think that the discussions of humans being possibly wired for short-term but not long-term monogamy were interesting. Scientifically, it does make sense to form family units for the first few years of a child's life, but not necessarily lifetime partnerships.
Interesting discussion of "sexual passion" (I'd add that they're decribing NRE, or "new relationship energy," as experienced by polyamorous people) and how it fizzles down into "companionate love" after several years.
Have penises and penis size become more important as we do less physical labor? "A man is no longer measured by his physical strength - his ability to build shelter for his family, fight in hand-to-hand combat, or draw water from a well. Machines do that for him. Muscles are more symbolic than useful. So the erect penis has become the most powerfully symbolic 'muscle' of them all." - quote from A Mind Of Its Own, by David Friedman, quoted on p.81
p. 146- American culture is more intolerant of infidelity than is many other culture. Additionally, American culture is more tolerant of divorce than it it is of adultery, and in that way it favors the complete breakup of a relationship over the ability to work through or even accommodate the infidelity.
June 5, 2026
This was a great audio! I loved hearing Leisha and Kate’s voices as they narrated each of their portions of the memoir. Brb will be rewatching the L word EXCEPT for that trash last season. Amiright?
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews