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Healing Anger: The Power of Patience from a Buddhist Perspective
All the world's major religions emphasize the importance of the practice of love, compassion, and tolerance. This is particularly true in the Buddhist traditions, which unanimously state that compassion and love are the foundation of all paths of practice. To cultivate the potential for compassion and love inherent within us, it is crucial to counteract their opposing forces of anger and hatred.
In this book, the Dalai Lama shows how through the practice of patience and tolerance we can overcome the obstacles of anger and hatred. He bases his discussion on A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life , the classic work on the activities of Bodhisattvas—those who aspire to attain full enlightenment in order to benefit all beings.
In this book, the Dalai Lama shows how through the practice of patience and tolerance we can overcome the obstacles of anger and hatred. He bases his discussion on A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life , the classic work on the activities of Bodhisattvas—those who aspire to attain full enlightenment in order to benefit all beings.
176 pages, Paperback
First published March 25, 1997
213 people are currently reading
1138 people want to read
About the author
Dalai Lama XIV
1,553 books6,195 followersJetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso (born Lhamo Döndrub), the 14th Dalai Lama, is a practicing member of the Gelug School of Tibetan Buddhism and is influential as a Nobel Peace Prize laureate, the world's most famous Buddhist monk, and the leader of the exiled Tibetan government in India.
Tenzin Gyatso was the fifth of sixteen children born to a farming family. He was proclaimed the tulku (an Enlightened lama who has consciously decided to take rebirth) of the 13th Dalai Lama at the age of two.
On 17 November 1950, at the age of 15, he was enthroned as Tibet's ruler. Thus he became Tibet's most important political ruler just one month after the People's Republic of China's invasion of Tibet on 7 October 1950. In 1954, he went to Beijing to attempt peace talks with Mao Zedong and other leaders of the PRC. These talks ultimately failed.
After a failed uprising and the collapse of the Tibetan resistance movement in 1959, the Dalai Lama left for India, where he was active in establishing the Central Tibetan Administration (the Tibetan Government in Exile) and in seeking to preserve Tibetan culture and education among the thousands of refugees who accompanied him.
Tenzin Gyatso is a charismatic figure and noted public speaker. This Dalai Lama is the first to travel to the West. There, he has helped to spread Buddhism and to promote the concepts of universal responsibility, secular ethics, and religious harmony.
He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989, honorary Canadian citizenship in 2006, and the United States Congressional Gold Medal on 17 October 2007.
Tenzin Gyatso was the fifth of sixteen children born to a farming family. He was proclaimed the tulku (an Enlightened lama who has consciously decided to take rebirth) of the 13th Dalai Lama at the age of two.
On 17 November 1950, at the age of 15, he was enthroned as Tibet's ruler. Thus he became Tibet's most important political ruler just one month after the People's Republic of China's invasion of Tibet on 7 October 1950. In 1954, he went to Beijing to attempt peace talks with Mao Zedong and other leaders of the PRC. These talks ultimately failed.
After a failed uprising and the collapse of the Tibetan resistance movement in 1959, the Dalai Lama left for India, where he was active in establishing the Central Tibetan Administration (the Tibetan Government in Exile) and in seeking to preserve Tibetan culture and education among the thousands of refugees who accompanied him.
Tenzin Gyatso is a charismatic figure and noted public speaker. This Dalai Lama is the first to travel to the West. There, he has helped to spread Buddhism and to promote the concepts of universal responsibility, secular ethics, and religious harmony.
He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989, honorary Canadian citizenship in 2006, and the United States Congressional Gold Medal on 17 October 2007.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
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July 20, 2008Back in social work school, my buddy Anthony recommended this book to help me deal with my subway rage; he said it'd really helped him, and Anthony always seemed very calm, so I thought he knew what he was talking about. I even checked it out of the library and started the introduction, but then some other stuff came up and I got distracted, and it was due back. Then I'd put this book on the back burner because I sort of felt like I was a grownup and had successfully mastered my temper problem without any weird hippie self-help books by the Dalai Lama.... except I totally just flew into a frustrated rage a few minutes ago and smashed a piece of furniture that I really needed, and now I regret that.
So I am going to read this book! I hope it helps me solve my patience problem so I won't fly off the handle just because it's too hot and something's irritating me. I couldn't get this bureau thing out of my closet, plus the closet door's messed up and it was really driving me nuts, and it was dark, and stuffy, and my neck hurts, and the whole ridiculous situation kept going on just far too long, and my roommates kept yelling, "What's all that noise? Everything okay in there?" and finally I was like, "This fucking thing's coming OUT," and I smashed it, which felt kind of great at the moment and did solve the immediate problem -- it came out of the closet -- but now I have nowhere to put all my clothes so I'm sort of a little bit screwed. I definitely need to read this book if I'm going anywhere near that Red Hook Ikea to replace the thing. Just thinking about that place makes me want to scream and throw things.... I don't really have to go there, do I? There must be some other place where I can get some crap bureau thing to put all my stupid clothes in.
I think I'm a little on edge because I messed up my neck doing something dumb and I couldn't go running today. That kind of turns me into the Insufferable Hulk. Still, even without exercise I should be less of a child about things. This is ridiculous. Maybe the Dalai Lama will help me chill out. Maybe his Buddhist principles will guide me through the process of finding a new bureau. Lord knows I'll need all the help I can get.
I should finish cleaning up my room and putting my laundry away, except.... I have nowhere to put it!
AAHGHGHHHHH! FUCK!
AAGHHH!
So I am going to read this book! I hope it helps me solve my patience problem so I won't fly off the handle just because it's too hot and something's irritating me. I couldn't get this bureau thing out of my closet, plus the closet door's messed up and it was really driving me nuts, and it was dark, and stuffy, and my neck hurts, and the whole ridiculous situation kept going on just far too long, and my roommates kept yelling, "What's all that noise? Everything okay in there?" and finally I was like, "This fucking thing's coming OUT," and I smashed it, which felt kind of great at the moment and did solve the immediate problem -- it came out of the closet -- but now I have nowhere to put all my clothes so I'm sort of a little bit screwed. I definitely need to read this book if I'm going anywhere near that Red Hook Ikea to replace the thing. Just thinking about that place makes me want to scream and throw things.... I don't really have to go there, do I? There must be some other place where I can get some crap bureau thing to put all my stupid clothes in.
I think I'm a little on edge because I messed up my neck doing something dumb and I couldn't go running today. That kind of turns me into the Insufferable Hulk. Still, even without exercise I should be less of a child about things. This is ridiculous. Maybe the Dalai Lama will help me chill out. Maybe his Buddhist principles will guide me through the process of finding a new bureau. Lord knows I'll need all the help I can get.
I should finish cleaning up my room and putting my laundry away, except.... I have nowhere to put it!
AAHGHGHHHHH! FUCK!
AAGHHH!
January 22, 2009
If you are trying to learn about dealing with your anger from a book, you might try the Robert Thurman book called Anger. He approaches it from a Buddhist perspective, too.
No disrespect towards the Dalai Lama, but it seems that maybe Thurman has been there himself. I'm sure the Dalai Lama has been angry, but he's the Dalai Lama! If you're really struggling with anger, the Thurman book might be more useful. Thurman teaches you to use it--turn it into something positive.
I love you, Dalai Lama. But you learned to overcome anger like 6 lifetimes ago so it's probably hard for you to rekindle that emotion.
No disrespect towards the Dalai Lama, but it seems that maybe Thurman has been there himself. I'm sure the Dalai Lama has been angry, but he's the Dalai Lama! If you're really struggling with anger, the Thurman book might be more useful. Thurman teaches you to use it--turn it into something positive.
I love you, Dalai Lama. But you learned to overcome anger like 6 lifetimes ago so it's probably hard for you to rekindle that emotion.
September 23, 2019
"Since disrespect, harsh speech,
And unpleasant words
Do not cause harm to my body,
Why mind, do you become so angry?"
-Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life, as quoted by Dalai Lama XIV
And unpleasant words
Do not cause harm to my body,
Why mind, do you become so angry?"
-Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life, as quoted by Dalai Lama XIV
July 28, 2015
Most anyone can meditate and strive for compassion on a daily basis. But to really delve into Buddhism, to study it, to become a Buddhist, one has to be willing to set aside one's beliefs in order to explore logically and/or rationally, the origins of ones mind, ones ego and where (if anywhere) the ego resides. And THAT I believe takes a certain amount of intelligence and a great deal of diligence.
This was not an easy book to read and understand, but then, I'm not a practicing Buddhist. But what I learned from it taught me something about what Buddhism is. It is, in one sense, more a science of the mind than a religion.
This was not an easy book to read and understand, but then, I'm not a practicing Buddhist. But what I learned from it taught me something about what Buddhism is. It is, in one sense, more a science of the mind than a religion.
July 15, 2021
This is worth the read. It was a slow process because there is a lot to think about and absorb. But what I found the more I was trying to apply the process of dealing with healing anger and patience the more events popped up that allowed me to look at the situation differently, but its hard and I didn't succeed very often.
It's a book I will be reading again.
It's a book I will be reading again.
March 2, 2021
Dei 3 estrelas não porque não tenha gostado do conteúdo nem porque não concorde com a maior parte mas porque achei a organização do livro pouco apelativa e não me puxou muito para ler
December 29, 2015
I'm reading this a second time, slowly in the mornings before the world gets started to try and set my mind up for a good day. This book is a transcript of a multi-day session where the Dalai Lama walks thru some ancient text on patience, as well as answering questions from the audience. I find the reasoned and logical arguments against acting out of anger or frustration very convincing and helpful. I think you could read this book over and over and it would never lose its usefulness. The only criticism is the time spent on the process of karma and rebirth, but that is only because I have a more secular approach and that part of Buddhism doesn't speak to me. On the bright side, I think MCA from Beastie Boys attended the original session (I read it in an album liner notes), so that is cool!
April 26, 2007
The Dalai Lama speaks in a simple, clear way that made this book easy to read. However, he alternates between practical, insighful advice on managaing "negative emotions" and explanations of the history of Buddhism, or different Buddhist beliefs. This is definitely not a self-help book you want to read if you're looking for straight up advice; be prepared for alot of talk about Buddhist phenomena, the origin of the universe, and holy scriptures. However, if you are Buddhist or are interested in a little spiratuality mixed with your self-help, this is the book for you.
October 28, 2013
His Holiness the Dalai Lama is always a joy for me to read. He has always displayed a knack for connecting the simple and the esoteric no matter how esoteric his references. This book is no exception as it explores and unpacks Shantideva's classic treatise on patience as the antidote to anger.
If you like the Dalai Lama and/or struggle with controlling or making peace with frustration, negativity or even fits of rage, there's something here to sink your teeth into. If however you have the patience of a saint or no interest in Buddhist practice, this may be a bit heady for you.
If you like the Dalai Lama and/or struggle with controlling or making peace with frustration, negativity or even fits of rage, there's something here to sink your teeth into. If however you have the patience of a saint or no interest in Buddhist practice, this may be a bit heady for you.
December 31, 2019
Once again, Shantideva appears as a central figure in a Buddhist commentary. I first came across his Guide in Pema Chödrön’s “No Time to Lose” which is excellent and makes the work accessible. This commentary is based on lectures from the Dalai Lama and, while it’s different from other analysis because of the format and Q&A sections, it has its own appeal. Just reading the insights and opinions of the Dalai Lama is alone fascinating to me.
June 23, 2010
The greatest thing about this book is not actually that it helped me control my temper, but that i enjoyed following the clear, lucid logic. It did change the way i think about anger, but it also taught me about my mid, my mental habits, and working at changing them.
August 28, 2011
This is a little abstract for what I needed and wanted
July 26, 2021
Still impatient
Does not help with patience. Its more on how to deal with anger and meditation. I recommend the book if you need help with anger.
Does not help with patience. Its more on how to deal with anger and meditation. I recommend the book if you need help with anger.
November 27, 2018
I purchased this book with a “hint” of irony, because being myself not very patient at all in my real life, I said: “Wow, Dalai Lama is my healer…LOL!”
Instead, according to Buddhism, there are rules and theories on the very concept of “patience”, how to gain it, how to “feed” it, how to keep it. According to Buddhists patience brings beauty and health and it can improve our society.
Actually I read about their concept of “soul”, “afterlife”, “prayers”, God”, which are not the same as in my religion, but similarly.
The essential things to know about Buddhism are the last 15-20 pages, where there is also a glossary, which features the key words from A to Z about the religion.
By the end of the book you won't be a Buddha folower, a bodhisattva, but you will have learnt amazing things on the religion.
Instead, according to Buddhism, there are rules and theories on the very concept of “patience”, how to gain it, how to “feed” it, how to keep it. According to Buddhists patience brings beauty and health and it can improve our society.
Actually I read about their concept of “soul”, “afterlife”, “prayers”, God”, which are not the same as in my religion, but similarly.
The essential things to know about Buddhism are the last 15-20 pages, where there is also a glossary, which features the key words from A to Z about the religion.
By the end of the book you won't be a Buddha folower, a bodhisattva, but you will have learnt amazing things on the religion.
January 1, 2022
He tells vulnerably about his anger, and what he does about it.
There is a technique he uses called Tong Len or Tonglen. It involves inhaling and exhaling. It's the opposite of the old saying, "out with the bad air, in with the good." Instead you breathe in all the things you don't want, and exhale all the things you'd rather keep. You imagine another person and you take all the things from them that are unwanted, and give them with your breath all the things that are valued.
Why would you do that? It turns around your perspective. Healing anger is a nice side effect of tonglen which is really designed to awaken compassion and dissolve self-importance. The book is worth it just for the chapter on tonglen. Highly recommend.
Apparently this workshop was held in Tucson, Arizona, but a decade before I got here . . I am curious to know where, how . . ?
There is a technique he uses called Tong Len or Tonglen. It involves inhaling and exhaling. It's the opposite of the old saying, "out with the bad air, in with the good." Instead you breathe in all the things you don't want, and exhale all the things you'd rather keep. You imagine another person and you take all the things from them that are unwanted, and give them with your breath all the things that are valued.
Why would you do that? It turns around your perspective. Healing anger is a nice side effect of tonglen which is really designed to awaken compassion and dissolve self-importance. The book is worth it just for the chapter on tonglen. Highly recommend.
Apparently this workshop was held in Tucson, Arizona, but a decade before I got here . . I am curious to know where, how . . ?
August 17, 2019
3,5 stelle. È un libro da non leggere impreparati e alcuni concetti sono abbastanza ostici. In sintesi applicando i precetti del buddismo si può elevarsi e migliorare il proprio stato e di conseguenza raggiungere la pace mentale e la pazienza. Difficile districarsi tra samsara, chittamatra, bodhisattva, bodhcitta, quattro nobili verità, sei perfezioni, ecc... Per questo trovo molto utile il piccolo glossario in fondo al libro.
"Possano tutti gli esseri trarne beneficio".
Da leggere con calme e tranquillità, suddiviso in lezioni e meditazione in modo da suddividere il tempo tra lezioni e meditazione con sé stessi. Insomma non proprio in linea coi tempi che corrono ma utilissimo per dare importanza a ciò che conta.
"Possano tutti gli esseri trarne beneficio".
Da leggere con calme e tranquillità, suddiviso in lezioni e meditazione in modo da suddividere il tempo tra lezioni e meditazione con sé stessi. Insomma non proprio in linea coi tempi che corrono ma utilissimo per dare importanza a ciò che conta.
July 30, 2025
The layout of this book was super helpful in throughly understanding the teachings discussed. The dissection of the stanzas help put in a clearer image of what the original text may have meant. The meditation exercises were helpful and the latter part of the Days (chapters) were questions asked by the author and answers given by his Holiness (which provided even more clarifying insight). I will say it provided a glossary at the end which was super helpful in keeping track of which terms meant what.
January 25, 2021
In this precious commentary of the Sixth Chapter of the Bodhicharyavatara from Shantideva, His Holiness explains all the verses on the disadvantages of anger and the advantages of the development of patience, and He also speaks deeply in several ocassions about emptiness and karma, as well as giving the answers to questions on social issues.
A jewel for the non-Buddhist and Buddhist practitioners.
A jewel for the non-Buddhist and Buddhist practitioners.
May 20, 2017
Cannot recommend this book strongly enough for anyone who feels slighted or betrayed by someone. It is strong strong strong strong stuff. Transformative if you can follow it. A study of Shantideva's The Bhodisattva's Way of Life that explores the meanings of that great work. Read it if you are ready to transform your pain into something much greater.
September 4, 2018
Pretty good. A lot of it went over my head but I felt that I took enough away to do some good in my life.
September 17, 2019
Very thought provoking.
March 11, 2020
Хотелось бы прочитать по книге комментариев ЕС к каждой главе "Бодхисаттвачарья-аватары".
June 19, 2020
Well written with several easy to understand examples, clear explanations/reasoning and scriptural support. Better than any cookie cutter self help book.
April 3, 2021
Uma ótima ferramenta para o autoconhecimento e autocontrole
September 3, 2013
When it comes to Patience, who better to share this important insight than His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama? I quite enjoyed His Holiness' commentary on the Patience chapter of the much-loved Buddhist text, Shantideva's Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life. If you're new to Buddhism or not yet familiar with the basic Buddhist teachers, this can make for a bit of a heavy read as there are quite a few technical terms introduced. However, even if you're NOT a Buddhist, this book has a lot to offer in terms of how to think differently inorder to diffuse your anger. The Question & Answer sections are also a refreshing breather and help to break up the commentary so you can better absorb what's been discussed. I also really enjoyed the guided meditative reflections to help us bring the practice to life, rather than just leaving it at intellectual discussion. Definitely a great read for fans of Shantideva & His Holiness.
February 28, 2008
Actually, I never read this book...But, one day I went into this hippie/mystical book store in Central Square, Cambridge and turned to page 23--this one little saying stuck out "whatever befalls me, I shall not disturb my mental joy...."
That line is great- think about it--we all have things and people (thinking of a certain insane brother right now...) that make you want to go nuts...So, just think of this line...or just pretend you're eating a candy bar named "Mental Joy"--packed with ginseng, caffeine, ginkgo, and lots of other herbal/ hippie ingredients. That'd be mentally delicious!
That line is great- think about it--we all have things and people (thinking of a certain insane brother right now...) that make you want to go nuts...So, just think of this line...or just pretend you're eating a candy bar named "Mental Joy"--packed with ginseng, caffeine, ginkgo, and lots of other herbal/ hippie ingredients. That'd be mentally delicious!
April 25, 2023
In "Perfecting Patience," the Dalai Lama states that we can overcome anger and hatred through the practice of patience and tolerance. This book is inspired by Buddhist doctrine, specifically from the teachings of Shantideva, an 8th century Indian philosopher and Buddhist monk. A large section of this book is relegated to the translating and commenting of the verses written by Shantideva. The author also devotes part of the book to the history of Buddhism and various Buddhist beliefs; however, the book generally seems rather abstract with little practicality.
February 27, 2013
Truly a great book on understanding the triggers that lead us to anger and losing our patience. You don't need to be buddhist to identify with your common human predicament, limited control, and false expectations. There is plenty here that is common to all humanity and perspectives and practices that help you to not only maintain patience, but to have genuine compassion for other broken human beings...even the one's who test you!
December 24, 2013
It is very hard to review the book without any influence of my bias towards Buddhism . The flow is carefully designed and should not bore anyone without any prior knowledge. The only reason this is not a 4 star is the fact that referencing is lacking. Quotes are not always traced to books, and that's a shame.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews