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The Attachment: Letters From a Most Unlikely Friendship

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This is the story of an unlikely friendship.When priest and Sydneysider Tony Doherty emailed Melbourne-based writer and performer Ailsa Piper to say how much he had enjoyed her latest book, he was met with a swift reply from a similarly enquiring mind. Soon emails were flying back and forth and back again. They exchanged stories of their experiences as sweaty pilgrims and dissected dinner party menus. They shared their delight in Mary Oliver's poetry and wrestled with what it means to love and to grieve. This energetic exchange of words, questions, and ideas grew into an unexpected but treasured friendship. Collected here is that correspondence, brimming with empathy, humor, and a fierce curiosity about each other and the worlds, shoes, and histories that they inhabit. The Attachment is an intriguing, entertaining, and moving celebration of family, faith, connection, and even the correct time of day to enjoy rhubarb.

352 pages, Paperback

First published March 29, 2017

14 people are currently reading
118 people want to read

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Ailsa Piper

11 books17 followers

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5 stars
62 (36%)
4 stars
57 (33%)
3 stars
34 (20%)
2 stars
13 (7%)
1 star
4 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
Profile Image for Diane in Australia.
739 reviews11 followers
December 19, 2018
This book contains emails between Ailsa Piper, an author, and Tony Doherty, an 80 year old Catholic priest. It all started when Tony sent Ailsa an email saying how much he had enjoyed her recent book. They began to correspond, and talked about anything, and everything. Turns out they were well suited to each other, and became solid friends. Eventually, they had in-person meetings and, of course, wrote this book together.

I enjoyed reading the thoughts they shared with each other, as both of them are deep thinkers, and adept at the art of writing.

3 Stars = Okay. It was worth reading.
Profile Image for Lee Kofman.
Author 11 books135 followers
March 17, 2017
What an unexpected pleasure this book turned out to be! I was given it to read in preparation to the panel I'm chairing, and Tony Doherty is one of the speakers. This book contains no small talk - it is all about the big stuff in life. Death, grief, friendship, writing and more and more.
36 reviews
August 8, 2017
Want to read a book of letters between two unlikely friends, and enjoy a wonderful read? If so, read The Attachment, by Ailsa Piper who is 57 and Tony Doherty is 82. They are not only different in sex and age, but also in their beliefs, chosen career and pastimes. Back in 2012, Ailsa wrote Sinning Across Spain - about her 1300 km pilgrimage from Granada to Galicia, carrying other people sins. Tony read the book, sends a letter of appreciation, and hence the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Fair enough you say, but Aisla is agnostic in her beliefs and married to Peter. Tony is a Catholic Priest and is married to the Church. However, they are able to connect over letters on vaious matters from love, death, grief, sins such as child abuse in the Catholic Church; and other meaningful questions of life. They bond, they are 'companeros', and break bread together. A very satisfying read.
1,141 reviews15 followers
November 22, 2018
This book is deceptive as it appears to be quite light-weight to start but covers some big topics as it goes on. It led me to reflect on my own Caminoes and my life and my relationships and not many books can do that.It helps that the two authors are quite open and honest with each other (and with us).
145 reviews2 followers
November 7, 2018
The Attachment is the unlikely friendship forged through correspondence of an actress/writer and a priest. Ailsa and Tony first bond over her book where she walked a pilgrim trail through Spain (my goal!). Their friendship grew from there with discussions about life, death, family, the past and religion. I’ll be passing this one on to my Aunt who is walking the Camino in September.
2 reviews
October 6, 2018
tried to, but couldn’t finish it. some interesting point of views but a bit repetitive and boring.
Profile Image for Aislinn.
Author 1 book11 followers
April 25, 2019
I didn't really 'get' this collection of letters between two dear friends.
Author 3 books1 follower
March 20, 2018
Reading this book is a rare privilege, as reader being an observer of an extraordinary relationship between two apparently different people, who find a deep attachment around spirituality, culture and friendship.
Although not topics I usually think about, I learnt a lot about essentials of spirituality, about explanations of Tony's God to the world, about the worst and best of humanity. I was brought to notice aspects of myself I'd like to improve, by their example.
I learnt about how those (e.g. priests) who spend their lives helping others in times of deep emotions, find strength and purpose. I was pushed into considering the meaning of our existence, confirming my frequent conclusion - we can at least celebrate the love, the struggle and the achievements of people.
I was intrigued by Ailsa Piper's ability to encompass a broad love for many others, parallel and perhaps part of, a deep marriage. I also questioned the assumption that it is a good thing to struggle to find the true self versus the false self. It seems to ask all of us to be a pilgrim in life.
I was glad I'd read her book "Sinning Across Spain" first. These letters helped understand much of that pilgrimage.
Profile Image for Susan C.
320 reviews
October 28, 2021
What a remarkable book! Perhaps one of the standouts from the books I have read so far this year.

I am in awe of Tony and Ailsa feeling free to share a year of their personal correspondence. It gave me the opportunity to think about things through a different lens. The individual explainers between 'chapters' helped put some of the conversation into context.

The seanchaí and the priest, but it seems that those roles interchanged throughout the book.

For me this this was a book on love and of death and grief, particularly with the revelations at the end. For me personally, some of it was hard to read having recently lived through death and the ongoing grief of a loved one.

Since the initial correspondence was prompted by a book, "Sinning across Spain : walking the Camino", written by Ailsa Piper, and also mentioned and discussed throughout this book, I am eager to read that one too.
Profile Image for Trish.
491 reviews8 followers
February 20, 2019
I was surprisingly impressed with this read.
I wasn't exactly sure why I picked it up, but it was at a writer's festival. You get a little caught up in the atmosphere :)
A priest was given the gift of a 'travel memoir' effectively; but with a difference. The author was on a camino pilgrimage, carrying the burden of other people's sin. He was inspired to contact her and so began a friendship and much intelligent and sometimes philosophical conversation (mainly via email letters).
I did find myself self-judging as usual, comparing and grumping about highly motivated go-getter types, but also thinking 'good on them for being confident and involved in life'.
Really, worth the read. An interesting and engaging perspective on other lives and how to interact comfortably with people, even if you don't always agree. Although, they find that they share a lot of 'coincidences'.
805 reviews
December 29, 2017
I dipped in and out of this book over many months. It was a pleasure to do so. I do not think. I would have appreciated reading it straight, in a way I read it like I used to deal in letters when. I lived overseas for two years.
Thoughtful conversations over different topics, because the walker of the Camino trail carrying sins of others, met and then started writing to a priest who wrote back. They developed a friendship of words and thoughts, gathered here into a book. Did. I always agree with how they read situations,no,but did they give me different ways to think about things,to allow me to continue in my own musings and evaluations of life situations, YES. That is what made the reading of this book worthwhile, as for any book, but this one in particular.
Profile Image for Bronwyn Mcloughlin.
569 reviews11 followers
November 16, 2021
Totally different to Sinning across Spain; a friendship between a actress/author and a priest, documented through their collection of emails. Quite philosophical, with theological discussion, but embracing the joys of literature and good company. Dealing with the justifiable grief and distress over the sexual abuse within the Catholic Church forms a significant portion of the conversation, and you’d have to think it intrudes into Ailsa’s cogitations about faith. Very effective depiction of ‘Sydney’ sensibility, and I love Ailsa’s retelling in fine detail of the joy of hosting a dinner party for her friends.
Profile Image for Marinda Koleva.
43 reviews6 followers
May 14, 2019
I am listening to the audio read by Ailsa and Tony. It is moving, thought-provoking and so emotionally raw that I sometimes just have to sit still and let the book happen to me. Hearing their words in their own voices adds to the intimate experience and I somehow feel part of this special friendship. I love their insights and how they bring their personal histories to life. It has given me a new perspective on Celtic as well as Australian history.
A truly lovely experience.
Profile Image for Steve Castley.
Author 6 books
February 13, 2019
This is the most beautiful book I have ever read. I loved every careful word. It is the letters / communication between Ailsa Piper and Tony Doherty. Even they thought they were an unlikely pairing, but their gentle words, laughter, tears and search to an understanding of life expressed in this collection of communications is heartfelt and wondrous. I devoured in in a day.
Profile Image for Dianna Applebaum.
124 reviews
December 21, 2020
To say a book is inspirational is a bit cliched these days, yet it was inspiring. As a person who loves the old and almost forgotten art of letter writing, I just loved the banter between these "unlikely friends."
It was the energy of Ailsa and Tony that kept me invigorated throughout their exchanges and the highs and lows of their lively discussions.
785 reviews3 followers
July 24, 2022
I enjoyed this very much. It includes letters between a 57yo writer and 83yo priest after they connect via their mutual interest in the Camino (both have walked parts of it). They become close friends and write about life, spirituality, grief, loss and so much more. I plan to look up Piper's previous book 'Sinning across Spain' now.
1 review
May 31, 2025
Totally pretentious waffle. They love using words like “trifle” and “awfully” like they’re Jeeves and Wooster. It’s obviously not for me and if it wasn’t for the testimonial by Hugh Mackay I wouldn’t have bought it.
If you’re elderly and middle class and have time to waste then this book is for you.
Profile Image for Lyn.
58 reviews4 followers
July 1, 2017
I loved this book! So Inspiring! It was a gift to share such a beautiful friendship with the reader!
Profile Image for Pru Thomas.
23 reviews1 follower
December 30, 2017
This is a beautiful gentle book that has inspired me to resume letter writing.
23 reviews
June 4, 2018
Our book club book of the month.
What a pleasure, a wonderful friendship.
Profile Image for Jane.
158 reviews
September 3, 2018
A correspondence between two people whose relationship begins with the gift of a book and grows into a deep, warm and supportive friendship. This book was an unexpected pleasure.
50 reviews
January 7, 2019
This book helped me open up again and taught me alot about unlikely friendships and life. Thank you to both of them for been so willing to open up their private letters.
30 reviews
November 8, 2021
I loved this book. A trail of emails between two very unlikely correspondents who become firm friends after linking up through Ailsa’s book about walking The Camino.
Profile Image for Jacqueleen Jackson.
3 reviews
May 15, 2024
Was gifted this book. Found it very boring and repetitive. Very hard to finish and glad to put it down.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews

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