What do you think?
Rate this book
Pinter & Martin Why It Matters #13
Why Mothering Matters
Pregnancy is a time of profound physical and psychological change. The transition to motherhood can be complex and difficult, and in all the discourse about pregnancy and birth the huge personal changes that women undergo can be overlooked. In the 21st century it can seem that mothers are blamed and blame themselves for everything, as they struggle to manage their multiple identities as mothers, lovers, sisters and daughters.
Why Mothering Matters is a nuanced and revealing discussion of how it can feel to become a mother in modern society. It calls for better recognition of the work of motherhood, and better support for women and families as they learn what parenting looks like for them.
Why Mothering Matters is a nuanced and revealing discussion of how it can feel to become a mother in modern society. It calls for better recognition of the work of motherhood, and better support for women and families as they learn what parenting looks like for them.
176 pages, Paperback
Published September 27, 2018
4 people are currently reading
57 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
December 5, 2018
I’m going to come straight out and say that I didn’t enjoy this book. I felt like it should really appeal to me but it just didn’t pull me in.
The book didn’t feel very well organised and sometimes changed subjects disjointedly. I worry that McMahon seems terrified about offending anyone and this has curbed her enthusiasm and passion for the subject. Maybe I am being ungenerous, either way, I’m just not really feeling it.
In this book I feel that McMahon is constantly apologising when she refers to a mother as a straight, English, woman (by birth), and I’m finding the desperate need to be inclusive grating. It is like a recipe book where every ingredient is apologised for in case it is not included in one of the readers lifestyles.
I consider myself a very open-minded person but when I read a book on mothering, I expect it to talk about female-born women looking after their own children, and if anyone reading it doesn’t fit neatly into that definition, I expect them to have the intelligence to make the adaptions for themselves. Would people really be offended by a book about mothering concentrating on women?
Throughout the book McMahon keeps struggling with the question ‘what is a mother’, but this misses the title of the book ‘why mothering matters’. I expected this book to be about the effects of mothering and the relationship of those effects with the wider world, not over and over again ‘what is a mother’; woman, man, gay, transgender, surrogate…this is not what I thought I would be reading about, certainly not for such a substantial amount of the book.
I don’t want to knock McMahon too much, she is obviously a well experienced and knowledgeable woman, and I bet she makes a great doula, but I didn’t feel inspired by her, and far from bringing people together, I felt that our differences were marked out as barriers.
On a positive note, I think the real people’s excerpts saved this book, they were the only bits that seemed to be strong and have direction, they seemed a bit more fired up than McMahon was alone.
There seemed to be endless complaining from McMahon about discrimination; discrimination of women, men, and the many varied forms of roles and relationships they can have. I’m all for a good complain, but when you don’t include proactive solutions, other than the tepid ‘wouldn’t it be lovely if…’, then it just feels like whining.
This book made me feel like a victim because I’m a woman and a mother, and I can’t forgive it for that. I am a staunch believer in people’s rights and freedoms, but they will not just be handed to us, and when people feel victimised, they lose their spirit to fight for themselves.
In a time when I think the value of mothering (from whatever standpoint it is done) is at an all-time low, when the science showing its value is at an all-time high, a book correlating those two areas is needed and the time is ripe to show that actually mothers (use your common sense) should be rewarded and given a salary for their massive contributions to society. This book could have argued with authority for this.
I also strongly believe in the rights of women to work and pursue other ventures, if that’s what they want to do, and a much higher standard of care should be expected for children where neither parent is taking a lead role.
Mothering is just as important when both parents (or the only parent) works, or parents are separated. Science keeps on showing the massive effect of parenting on future adults, even when children are away from their parents a lot of the time, a child’s parents fill a massive role in their creation of themselves, even when those parents are not around (much or at all). So I would have liked to see more about why parents involvement is so important and how parents can maximise their time with their children and use it best (including if they’re not with their children a lot).
This book could have been so much more.
For me Mothering means:
• Love and connection
• A Lesson and enlightenment
• A Responsibility for my actions and lifestyle
• And rather than a labyrinth that cannot be escaped I see it as a major part of my Journey
This list can just as much be applied to Fathering, or shall we just say Parenting (because if McMahon has proved anything it’s that anyone can fill the role if they wish to).
So why isn’t this book talking about those things and the affects they have on Women, Men (and everyone in between), Children, Society as a whole, the Environment, Animals, our Spirituality, our Brutality, our ability to Love and be Loved, us, who we are.
That is what I thought this book would be about because that is why I think Mothering (or Parenting) matter.
You can see my full review here: https://youtu.be/LXpocP3G6NE
The book didn’t feel very well organised and sometimes changed subjects disjointedly. I worry that McMahon seems terrified about offending anyone and this has curbed her enthusiasm and passion for the subject. Maybe I am being ungenerous, either way, I’m just not really feeling it.
In this book I feel that McMahon is constantly apologising when she refers to a mother as a straight, English, woman (by birth), and I’m finding the desperate need to be inclusive grating. It is like a recipe book where every ingredient is apologised for in case it is not included in one of the readers lifestyles.
I consider myself a very open-minded person but when I read a book on mothering, I expect it to talk about female-born women looking after their own children, and if anyone reading it doesn’t fit neatly into that definition, I expect them to have the intelligence to make the adaptions for themselves. Would people really be offended by a book about mothering concentrating on women?
Throughout the book McMahon keeps struggling with the question ‘what is a mother’, but this misses the title of the book ‘why mothering matters’. I expected this book to be about the effects of mothering and the relationship of those effects with the wider world, not over and over again ‘what is a mother’; woman, man, gay, transgender, surrogate…this is not what I thought I would be reading about, certainly not for such a substantial amount of the book.
I don’t want to knock McMahon too much, she is obviously a well experienced and knowledgeable woman, and I bet she makes a great doula, but I didn’t feel inspired by her, and far from bringing people together, I felt that our differences were marked out as barriers.
On a positive note, I think the real people’s excerpts saved this book, they were the only bits that seemed to be strong and have direction, they seemed a bit more fired up than McMahon was alone.
There seemed to be endless complaining from McMahon about discrimination; discrimination of women, men, and the many varied forms of roles and relationships they can have. I’m all for a good complain, but when you don’t include proactive solutions, other than the tepid ‘wouldn’t it be lovely if…’, then it just feels like whining.
This book made me feel like a victim because I’m a woman and a mother, and I can’t forgive it for that. I am a staunch believer in people’s rights and freedoms, but they will not just be handed to us, and when people feel victimised, they lose their spirit to fight for themselves.
In a time when I think the value of mothering (from whatever standpoint it is done) is at an all-time low, when the science showing its value is at an all-time high, a book correlating those two areas is needed and the time is ripe to show that actually mothers (use your common sense) should be rewarded and given a salary for their massive contributions to society. This book could have argued with authority for this.
I also strongly believe in the rights of women to work and pursue other ventures, if that’s what they want to do, and a much higher standard of care should be expected for children where neither parent is taking a lead role.
Mothering is just as important when both parents (or the only parent) works, or parents are separated. Science keeps on showing the massive effect of parenting on future adults, even when children are away from their parents a lot of the time, a child’s parents fill a massive role in their creation of themselves, even when those parents are not around (much or at all). So I would have liked to see more about why parents involvement is so important and how parents can maximise their time with their children and use it best (including if they’re not with their children a lot).
This book could have been so much more.
For me Mothering means:
• Love and connection
• A Lesson and enlightenment
• A Responsibility for my actions and lifestyle
• And rather than a labyrinth that cannot be escaped I see it as a major part of my Journey
This list can just as much be applied to Fathering, or shall we just say Parenting (because if McMahon has proved anything it’s that anyone can fill the role if they wish to).
So why isn’t this book talking about those things and the affects they have on Women, Men (and everyone in between), Children, Society as a whole, the Environment, Animals, our Spirituality, our Brutality, our ability to Love and be Loved, us, who we are.
That is what I thought this book would be about because that is why I think Mothering (or Parenting) matter.
You can see my full review here: https://youtu.be/LXpocP3G6NE
June 21, 2024
I read this several years ago when I was deep in the trenches of toddler parenting. I felt a deep connection to Maddie, the way she writes and how she sees parents. I felt seen. All the transitions, the labyrinthine nature of being a mother and parent, the links to our past and our future. Now that I’m half a decade further in and no longer the parent of a toddler, I’ve taken different things upon my second reading. This time it felt about how we can nurture those around us as well as our offspring. And, given it’s June 2024, the political aspects are hitting hard, resonating on my bones.
I’ve recently had to do a lot of driving and my second reading was the audiobook, not only is the audio version calm and melodic, hearing how Maddie intended to be heard is a privilege. It’s a little slow but that’s been a nice change. Thoroughly recommended commuter listening.
I’ve recently had to do a lot of driving and my second reading was the audiobook, not only is the audio version calm and melodic, hearing how Maddie intended to be heard is a privilege. It’s a little slow but that’s been a nice change. Thoroughly recommended commuter listening.
June 4, 2019
Beautifully and poetically written. Very thought provoking and inspiring. Loved every moment of it. Thoroughly recommend.
December 5, 2018
This was a book I should have read whilst pregnant with my first child. When women are pregnant with their first child, all the advice, reading and conversation runs around pregnancy and birth; there it stops. It feels like birth is the penultimate objective of a pregnant woman. Yet now I know of my naivety. Birth is the beginning of an unknown space that we just appear in and Maddie McMahon has tried creatively to describe this unknown space for us all.
Her latest book, Why Mothering Matters from the brilliant Why is Matters series feels like a genuine heart tale. It’s a book that’s most possibly been brewing in Maddie’s head for years. Her observant, poetic prose is very endearing to read and absorb. This book feels like you are talking to a friend in your living room who has been through the very things that are troubling you right now. However, just as we talk to a friend and our conversations jump and skip around, so does this book. There are examples of writing where birth conversations suddenly become breast-feeding ones or hard-hitting facts and evidence starts to morph into personal commentary. This book feels more like a collection of musings rather than a strong coercive, unmistakeable manifesto which the title made me believe it would be. The chapters though creatively named don’t convey a build up into a crescendo of a call to action or a sense of solidarity towards my fellow mothers.
We are in a time where feminism backlash, birth trauma and maternity politics are heightened by their social visibility but there is a lack of progressive dialogue that can bring society together on these seminal topics. I wish the book’s central premise would have stayed on this hard-hitting agenda. The tone of victimising women has always been unappealing to me and with her descriptions of roles, demographics and divisive politics Maddie half-heartedly dips her pen to write on what is really bothering her but settles on an apologetic tone that does both this book and mothers a great disservice. This book had the promise to bring out the importance and nuanced nature of mothering in our social structure, but it is left me feeling that being a mother feels like a drag to most women, which is clearly untrue.
Maddie has a passion towards her fellow mothers and in her writings that is plain to read. I think there are gems in this book even if they are hidden and this a book that needs an audience that has the patience to sift through its beauty. The poetic nature of the book makes it ideal for a cold, wet, dark evening where you will find a warm light of companionship as you ponder on your own mothering journey, but don’t let the doom and gloom get to you.
Her latest book, Why Mothering Matters from the brilliant Why is Matters series feels like a genuine heart tale. It’s a book that’s most possibly been brewing in Maddie’s head for years. Her observant, poetic prose is very endearing to read and absorb. This book feels like you are talking to a friend in your living room who has been through the very things that are troubling you right now. However, just as we talk to a friend and our conversations jump and skip around, so does this book. There are examples of writing where birth conversations suddenly become breast-feeding ones or hard-hitting facts and evidence starts to morph into personal commentary. This book feels more like a collection of musings rather than a strong coercive, unmistakeable manifesto which the title made me believe it would be. The chapters though creatively named don’t convey a build up into a crescendo of a call to action or a sense of solidarity towards my fellow mothers.
We are in a time where feminism backlash, birth trauma and maternity politics are heightened by their social visibility but there is a lack of progressive dialogue that can bring society together on these seminal topics. I wish the book’s central premise would have stayed on this hard-hitting agenda. The tone of victimising women has always been unappealing to me and with her descriptions of roles, demographics and divisive politics Maddie half-heartedly dips her pen to write on what is really bothering her but settles on an apologetic tone that does both this book and mothers a great disservice. This book had the promise to bring out the importance and nuanced nature of mothering in our social structure, but it is left me feeling that being a mother feels like a drag to most women, which is clearly untrue.
Maddie has a passion towards her fellow mothers and in her writings that is plain to read. I think there are gems in this book even if they are hidden and this a book that needs an audience that has the patience to sift through its beauty. The poetic nature of the book makes it ideal for a cold, wet, dark evening where you will find a warm light of companionship as you ponder on your own mothering journey, but don’t let the doom and gloom get to you.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews