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The Baby Jesus Butt Plug
Step into a dark and absurd world where human beings are slaves to corporations, people are photocopied instead of born, and the baby jesus is a very popular anal probe.
96 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
12 people are currently reading
1521 people want to read
About the author
Carlton Mellick III
119 books2,168 followersCarlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.
Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.
Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.
He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.
In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.
In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.
Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.
Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.
He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.
In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.
In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 131 reviews
July 24, 2011
Catchy title, right? Another, equally eye-catching, title by the same author caught my attention. I began looking at his output and reading short little descriptions of each book and learned all about this new "Bizarro" genre of literature. Very intrigued, I almost ordered four books to get a flavor of it: one was all I needed.
This is awful. Pure shit. I'm not offended by grotesqueries, sacrilege, or foul language of any kind (I just gave Steve-O's autobiography 4 stars): I am offended by the praise that appeared on the back of this shit-piece.
"This generation's Vonnegut!" I beg to differ. That blurb made me far more nauseous than any of the random, bizarre, x-rated crap in here, the kind of random crap a seventh grader would write.
"[This book is] a cautionary tale of corporate omnipotence, and a possible blueprint of the future of the nuclear family." No...it would have to have something resembling a coherent plot or even partially developed theme for that to be true.
What's most galling is that there are no redeeming qualities to this. It doesn't even come close to generating the meekest of chuckles.
Thank god I only ordered one book.
This is awful. Pure shit. I'm not offended by grotesqueries, sacrilege, or foul language of any kind (I just gave Steve-O's autobiography 4 stars): I am offended by the praise that appeared on the back of this shit-piece.
"This generation's Vonnegut!" I beg to differ. That blurb made me far more nauseous than any of the random, bizarre, x-rated crap in here, the kind of random crap a seventh grader would write.
"[This book is] a cautionary tale of corporate omnipotence, and a possible blueprint of the future of the nuclear family." No...it would have to have something resembling a coherent plot or even partially developed theme for that to be true.
What's most galling is that there are no redeeming qualities to this. It doesn't even come close to generating the meekest of chuckles.
Thank god I only ordered one book.
July 9, 2023
A conversation between me and my brain while reading this:
-Kay, I'm going to say it, there is definitely more than one thing wrong with us for liking this book.
-It's disgusting and creepy and offensive and FUN, oh sweet BABY Jesus how fun this is.
-Yep, we're sicker than I, as your brain estimated.
-This is getting a bit TOO disgusting, I thought they were plastic dolls ,not living breathing babies :0
-The fact that your friend just gave birth to a sweet little boy makes it worse...
-I was hoping we don't bring that up while reading this trash, don't think of him.
-he's cute, isn't he?
-DON'T THINK OF HIM.
-Shall we give up reading this?
-Nah I'm curious how this goes.
××curiosity killed the cat××
-Kay, I'm going to say it, there is definitely more than one thing wrong with us for liking this book.
-It's disgusting and creepy and offensive and FUN, oh sweet BABY Jesus how fun this is.
-Yep, we're sicker than I, as your brain estimated.
-This is getting a bit TOO disgusting, I thought they were plastic dolls ,not living breathing babies :0
-The fact that your friend just gave birth to a sweet little boy makes it worse...
-I was hoping we don't bring that up while reading this trash, don't think of him.
-he's cute, isn't he?
-DON'T THINK OF HIM.
-Shall we give up reading this?
-Nah I'm curious how this goes.
××curiosity killed the cat××
August 10, 2021
I really don't know what to say except that I will never look at the baby Jesus or butt plugs the same again. Reading this made me feel like I just did a massive amount of drugs and now I'm just trying to figure out wtf happened and what did I just read. If you have about 45min and want to read a literary acid trip give this a read.
February 27, 2010
this is so hilarious!! can't believe i waited so long to read Mellick's work cause i thought it sounded to sexually oriented for my tastes. It is but in such a funny way- it is unlike anything i've EVER read. I got it in the mail and me and my boyfriend were laughing at the title and ended up reading the first 2 chapters aloud right then, laughing so hard my stomach hurt. This is, by a landslide, the funniest book i've come across. Can't wait to read more from him! Just thinking about this book is making me chuckle lol
no-way-in-hell
September 10, 2013
December 31, 2020
Eileen Castro bought this for me because she's apparently a deviant, but out of the goodness of my heart and the gratitude of my soul, I read it. Sort of fun, especially in the beginning, but then just fast-forwards through its schtick. I get it, but short-form gonzo work does not necessarily preclude actual development. I might have legitimately enjoyed this had much effort been put into realizing this weirdo world instead of mostly going for middle school shock value. But it gets an extra enthusiastic star for describing a woman's hair as being "sausage-colored."
Read
February 20, 2015You know how some people write in their reviews, "wtf did I just read?"
I'm not exaggerating for comedic effect -- I have no idea what I just read. Was it a fever dream that someone published? It certainly had a dream quality where you couldn't quite nail down what was happening or why.
I was all-in and preparing to love this book going in: I mean, the title is fantastically absurd and promises a reading experience that's twisted and perverse and like nothing the reader has ever read before. Meh. The Baby Jesus Butt Plug was none of those things in any way that I could understand.
I really enjoyed the 2 Carlton Mellick III books I'd just read (As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face and Sweet Story) and was so impressed with how creative and surprisingly unpretentious this "bizarro" fiction seemed to be. I'm SO glad I read the other 2 first, otherwise I would've read The Baby Jesus Butt Plug and dismissed the subgenre as not-for-me and moved on. Perhaps my expectations were too high, being maybe the greatest book title I have ever come across. Lemme hit you again - The Baby Jesus Butt Plug. This was written in 2004 and the others were written in the past year (2014) and it's possible I just like his later work?? The other 2 were fully formed ideas, concepts brought to their humorous literary conclusions. I have no idea what The Baby Jesus Butt Plug was.
I'm not exaggerating for comedic effect -- I have no idea what I just read. Was it a fever dream that someone published? It certainly had a dream quality where you couldn't quite nail down what was happening or why.
I was all-in and preparing to love this book going in: I mean, the title is fantastically absurd and promises a reading experience that's twisted and perverse and like nothing the reader has ever read before. Meh. The Baby Jesus Butt Plug was none of those things in any way that I could understand.
I really enjoyed the 2 Carlton Mellick III books I'd just read (As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face and Sweet Story) and was so impressed with how creative and surprisingly unpretentious this "bizarro" fiction seemed to be. I'm SO glad I read the other 2 first, otherwise I would've read The Baby Jesus Butt Plug and dismissed the subgenre as not-for-me and moved on. Perhaps my expectations were too high, being maybe the greatest book title I have ever come across. Lemme hit you again - The Baby Jesus Butt Plug. This was written in 2004 and the others were written in the past year (2014) and it's possible I just like his later work?? The other 2 were fully formed ideas, concepts brought to their humorous literary conclusions. I have no idea what The Baby Jesus Butt Plug was.
April 2, 2007
Eh. I'm copying what I wrote from my blog:
I finally received and read "The Baby Jesus Butt Plug: A Fairy Tale" by Carlton Mellick III. It's pretty short, with illustrations, and the type is huge, so it took about 30-40 minutes to finish.
This is the first book I've read by Carlton Mellick III, so I wasn't prepared for the fact that he's a freak. He has a lot of crazy concepts which were interesting, and the artwork was simple, but effective. I loved his symbolic expression of the office environment - one of his assignments was to hold down the Q key for 120 seconds, and the president of the company was a 10-year-old girl who wanted to have a doll wedding, and inevitably had a tantrum. Great stuff.
On the negative, I didn't so much jive with his writing style. I don't know if this is normal, but a) I don't like the manifestation of stuttering in literary form, I think it's unnecessary; b) the abundance of word fusion, such as "stutter-nod" and "whisper-ask" - I don't get it. I can appreciate the desire to be different, but it didn't really seem necessary to me. c) there appeared to be misspellings, and that always bothers me.
If Carlton Mellick III read this, I would want him to know that I don't regret reading his book, I thought it was interesting and very original. Just because I don't really understand his style of writing doesn't mean that it's not a good book. I know practically nothing about literature. All I do is rip on people and occasionally provide lame commentary on current happenings in the world. Not everything can be as intellectually stimulating as Sweet Valley High.
I finally received and read "The Baby Jesus Butt Plug: A Fairy Tale" by Carlton Mellick III. It's pretty short, with illustrations, and the type is huge, so it took about 30-40 minutes to finish.
This is the first book I've read by Carlton Mellick III, so I wasn't prepared for the fact that he's a freak. He has a lot of crazy concepts which were interesting, and the artwork was simple, but effective. I loved his symbolic expression of the office environment - one of his assignments was to hold down the Q key for 120 seconds, and the president of the company was a 10-year-old girl who wanted to have a doll wedding, and inevitably had a tantrum. Great stuff.
On the negative, I didn't so much jive with his writing style. I don't know if this is normal, but a) I don't like the manifestation of stuttering in literary form, I think it's unnecessary; b) the abundance of word fusion, such as "stutter-nod" and "whisper-ask" - I don't get it. I can appreciate the desire to be different, but it didn't really seem necessary to me. c) there appeared to be misspellings, and that always bothers me.
If Carlton Mellick III read this, I would want him to know that I don't regret reading his book, I thought it was interesting and very original. Just because I don't really understand his style of writing doesn't mean that it's not a good book. I know practically nothing about literature. All I do is rip on people and occasionally provide lame commentary on current happenings in the world. Not everything can be as intellectually stimulating as Sweet Valley High.
May 14, 2024
"We adopted a baby jesus only a few months ago and it has already grown accustomed to our butt holes."
"Good taste is the death of art." - Truman Capote
"Good taste is the death of art." - Truman Capote
April 21, 2010
I'm going to qualify this review a bit: this is my first exposure to Carlton Mellick III, so I can't compare this book to any of his other work. And I'm happy about that. I've read most of the reviews posted on Goodreads and Amazon for The Baby Jesus Butt Plug and there are several comments about CM3's other work being better, or people didn't like this one as much as (fill in the blank). For me, that means I've got a lot to look forward to, I guess, because I really like this one.
One other thing I looked for in those other reviews was mention of the Jesus/religious aspect of this story and its significance. I didn't find much comment about it, though. My first question before I even bought this book was, why baby Jesus and butt plug? Is it purely for shock value? My conclusion: no, but that's a big part of it. You'd be hard-pressed to find a more eye-catching (or controversial, or inflammatory) title than The Baby Jesus Butt Plug, but in its own weird way, it works in the end. Yes, there's the shock value, but there's also the things that Jesus, or more specifically, baby Jesus, represent: the creation of perfect life, the fulfilling of biblical prophesy, hope for humanity. I think each of those examples is present in this story, in one extremely weird fashion or another.
For me, this is a cautionary tale about vanity and self-absorbtion. The main characters, aptly named Mary and Joe, buy a pet baby jesus, which are born in litters like cats, to use as a sexual toy. Joe grows uncomfortable with the idea and the baby jesus begins to change into something monstrous. People in this world are cloned at copy stores and babies are no longer born, unless they're in litters of famous people (Jesus, Elle Fitzgerald, John Lennon, etc.). Without delving too much into the nuts and bolts of the story, the odd happenings are not completely random, at least not all of them. There's structure at work here, and it's told in simple fairy tale-like prose, which in a way works to both disarm the reader and also provide more of a shock, like the slap of a wet blanket. On a base level, Mary and Joe desecrate something sacred and by the end, they must answer for their actions. And though they seem to be sincere in wanting to fix what they fouled up, it doesn't appear that they will be able to. Sometimes you can't fix what's broke.
There's more to this story as well, a commentary on corporate life and a great passage about how society wants to rush kids into adulthood. A character says, "In this day and age, there's no room for babies. We're born into this world as full grown adults. There's no time to be children let alone raise children." I can see examples of this notion in my daily life and that line really struck a chord with me.
I look forward to more Mellick, though this style and genre won't be for everyone. If the title alone makes you cringe or makes you angry, you should probably keep on going. If you can attempt to read this story with a bit of an open mind, then go for it, you probably won't be disappointed. I wasn't.
One other thing I looked for in those other reviews was mention of the Jesus/religious aspect of this story and its significance. I didn't find much comment about it, though. My first question before I even bought this book was, why baby Jesus and butt plug? Is it purely for shock value? My conclusion: no, but that's a big part of it. You'd be hard-pressed to find a more eye-catching (or controversial, or inflammatory) title than The Baby Jesus Butt Plug, but in its own weird way, it works in the end. Yes, there's the shock value, but there's also the things that Jesus, or more specifically, baby Jesus, represent: the creation of perfect life, the fulfilling of biblical prophesy, hope for humanity. I think each of those examples is present in this story, in one extremely weird fashion or another.
For me, this is a cautionary tale about vanity and self-absorbtion. The main characters, aptly named Mary and Joe, buy a pet baby jesus, which are born in litters like cats, to use as a sexual toy. Joe grows uncomfortable with the idea and the baby jesus begins to change into something monstrous. People in this world are cloned at copy stores and babies are no longer born, unless they're in litters of famous people (Jesus, Elle Fitzgerald, John Lennon, etc.). Without delving too much into the nuts and bolts of the story, the odd happenings are not completely random, at least not all of them. There's structure at work here, and it's told in simple fairy tale-like prose, which in a way works to both disarm the reader and also provide more of a shock, like the slap of a wet blanket. On a base level, Mary and Joe desecrate something sacred and by the end, they must answer for their actions. And though they seem to be sincere in wanting to fix what they fouled up, it doesn't appear that they will be able to. Sometimes you can't fix what's broke.
There's more to this story as well, a commentary on corporate life and a great passage about how society wants to rush kids into adulthood. A character says, "In this day and age, there's no room for babies. We're born into this world as full grown adults. There's no time to be children let alone raise children." I can see examples of this notion in my daily life and that line really struck a chord with me.
I look forward to more Mellick, though this style and genre won't be for everyone. If the title alone makes you cringe or makes you angry, you should probably keep on going. If you can attempt to read this story with a bit of an open mind, then go for it, you probably won't be disappointed. I wasn't.
February 8, 2013
Wow. This one is definitely not for the squeamish. This is my first experience with a full length Mellick (arguable since this one started out as a chapbook), having only read one of his shorts before, and I still think I'm getting over the shock. However, as over the top as it is, I can definitely recognize that this is some good writing. I've never seen anything quite like it. I'd say that it pushes boundaries, but that would be such an understatement that I won't even bother (other than how I just did). It does horrible, deviant things to boundaries...when it bothers recognizing them at all. It's funny, transgressive, and much more cerebral than it would first appear. I'm going to have to check out some more Mellick, once I think I've got the stomach for it.
July 16, 2022
why do i keep doing this to myself
May 7, 2024
So stupid and absolutely hilarious but definitely not my fave Mellick I’ve read.
March 6, 2012
This book showed up on Amazon's "People who enjoyed this..." list, and for the sheer vulgar, absurd novelty, I decided to check it out. On the surface, it looks like a book that will throw out a bunch of gross, vulgar, potentially offensive weirdness just for the sake of it. But the Amazon reviewers insisted that, no, it wasn't that sort of book, that it had some great social satire. And it was only a few bucks, so I decided to read it.
Well, it pretty much is that sort of book after all. There are some decent satirical ideas in here, but at 90-some-odd large-type pages -- a good chunk of which are dedicated to deliberately prurient illustrations -- there isn't enough time to develop any of them. What you're left with is a half-baked shock-and-awe freak-out that sometimes drops hints that the author had some good ideas in his head that he never bothered to write down. The few pages satirizing the protagonist's mundane office job were quite good, like something Charlie Kaufman might write. Good enough to indicate that the author has a good satire in him; and maybe he's written it already, but I'm not likely to check out another of his books any time soon.
I have pretty much an unlimited tolerance for vulgarity and crudeness and grossness and so on, as long as it's in service to something. But this book offered only the vaguest hints of substance in a mostly disorganized, undeveloped word salad. And, as far as shock value for shock value's sake, nothing in the book is as shocking as the existence of the sex toy on which the book is based.
Well, it pretty much is that sort of book after all. There are some decent satirical ideas in here, but at 90-some-odd large-type pages -- a good chunk of which are dedicated to deliberately prurient illustrations -- there isn't enough time to develop any of them. What you're left with is a half-baked shock-and-awe freak-out that sometimes drops hints that the author had some good ideas in his head that he never bothered to write down. The few pages satirizing the protagonist's mundane office job were quite good, like something Charlie Kaufman might write. Good enough to indicate that the author has a good satire in him; and maybe he's written it already, but I'm not likely to check out another of his books any time soon.
I have pretty much an unlimited tolerance for vulgarity and crudeness and grossness and so on, as long as it's in service to something. But this book offered only the vaguest hints of substance in a mostly disorganized, undeveloped word salad. And, as far as shock value for shock value's sake, nothing in the book is as shocking as the existence of the sex toy on which the book is based.
January 25, 2012
Mellick makes me laugh. The half I understand, anyway.
Plus, I like books that make me think. In this case I was thinking, "What the heck is a butt plug?" One of my daughter's best friend's filled me in. Now I have something to bring to the conversation when I go out to lunch with my old lady friends. Butt plug for the win.
About the book...
Trent Haaga says about the book: "This tale....is a splatterpunk odyssey, a cautionary tale of corporate omnipotence, and a possible blueprint of the future of the nuclear family." Well, sure. But it's told with a Jesus-shaped sex toy. That's just creative writing no matter how you look at it.
Plus, I like books that make me think. In this case I was thinking, "What the heck is a butt plug?" One of my daughter's best friend's filled me in. Now I have something to bring to the conversation when I go out to lunch with my old lady friends. Butt plug for the win.
About the book...
Trent Haaga says about the book: "This tale....is a splatterpunk odyssey, a cautionary tale of corporate omnipotence, and a possible blueprint of the future of the nuclear family." Well, sure. But it's told with a Jesus-shaped sex toy. That's just creative writing no matter how you look at it.
February 18, 2019
A lysergic horror comedy. A fun time for all the family.
January 17, 2009
Calrton Mellick III is one of the leading authors in the relatively new Bizarro genre, a genre that concentrates on weirdness and surrealism. Baby Jesus Butt Plug is the first "novel" I have read in this genre (90 pages of large print and illustrations, intended to reflect the book's pitch as an "adult fairy tale"), and when I ordered it I had no idea what to expect. But hell, who can resist a title like that?
The story, inspired by a real sex toy, reads like a mix of dreamscape, nightmare, and acid trip with some sex and SF thrown in for good measure. Read this before bed with a slice of cheese (that's *eating* the slice of cheese, not "bedding" it. Although that's exactly the kind of thing I would now expect from a Mellick novel), and you'll have some pretty f*ed up dreams that night for sure. Aside from being Weird with a capital wubbleyou, the story is quite dark, and occasionally hilarious.
The wiki entry for Mellick lists his influences as including the likes of Dr Seuss, Japanese horror film director Takashi Miike (my own personal favourite director), and western trashy B-Horror such as the Troma movies, so that should give you another idea of what to expect.
Personally I loved The Baby Jesus Butt Plug. It was right up my street with it's brand of weirdness and surreal humour. However I am also well aware that there are plenty of people in the world who will not be as impressed with it, and may even take offense. To those people I say: Meh. Your loss! :P
Finally to whet your appetite, the first line of the story is:
"We adopted a baby jesus only a few months ago and it has already grown accustomed to our butt holes"
The story, inspired by a real sex toy, reads like a mix of dreamscape, nightmare, and acid trip with some sex and SF thrown in for good measure. Read this before bed with a slice of cheese (that's *eating* the slice of cheese, not "bedding" it. Although that's exactly the kind of thing I would now expect from a Mellick novel), and you'll have some pretty f*ed up dreams that night for sure. Aside from being Weird with a capital wubbleyou, the story is quite dark, and occasionally hilarious.
The wiki entry for Mellick lists his influences as including the likes of Dr Seuss, Japanese horror film director Takashi Miike (my own personal favourite director), and western trashy B-Horror such as the Troma movies, so that should give you another idea of what to expect.
Personally I loved The Baby Jesus Butt Plug. It was right up my street with it's brand of weirdness and surreal humour. However I am also well aware that there are plenty of people in the world who will not be as impressed with it, and may even take offense. To those people I say: Meh. Your loss! :P
Finally to whet your appetite, the first line of the story is:
"We adopted a baby jesus only a few months ago and it has already grown accustomed to our butt holes"
March 17, 2022
First, let me say that I have long been a fan of off-the-wall humor. The more off-the-wall, the better! Based on the funny title of this book, and the fact that the author has a large cult following, I was expecting a thrilling ride on the bizarro roller coaster. But regretfully I found this book to be neither humorous nor thrilling.
To sum it up, a young couple purchase a Baby Jesus to use as an anal sex toy, resulting in the end of the world. Seriously. For $17.28 (current Amazon price) you get 96 pages of large-text narrative that is disjointed and overwhelmingly moronic, illustrated with crude and childlike drawings, and riddled with poor grammar and misspelled words.
This poorly conceived bit of nonsense will take you roughly 20 minutes to read, from cover to cover - 20 wasted minutes of your life that you'll never get back. Unless you enjoy a writing style that is sophomoric at best, and characters that are bland and one-dimensional, save your money and buy a real butt plug instead. You'll find it to be a better investment.
To sum it up, a young couple purchase a Baby Jesus to use as an anal sex toy, resulting in the end of the world. Seriously. For $17.28 (current Amazon price) you get 96 pages of large-text narrative that is disjointed and overwhelmingly moronic, illustrated with crude and childlike drawings, and riddled with poor grammar and misspelled words.
This poorly conceived bit of nonsense will take you roughly 20 minutes to read, from cover to cover - 20 wasted minutes of your life that you'll never get back. Unless you enjoy a writing style that is sophomoric at best, and characters that are bland and one-dimensional, save your money and buy a real butt plug instead. You'll find it to be a better investment.
July 13, 2015
for the first time in my history with cm3, i thought one of his novellas was boring. this is the first thing i've read of his that just didn't feel natural. the world building was there but it was subtle and weak, which even in the shortest of his short stories, is usually not the kind of problem that i have with him. the characters were so-so, kind of bland. a lot of the "plot" felt like it was written with the solitary intention of being shocking, which sort of makes sense considering that it's from a bizarro starter kit, but... i don't know. this was just kind of pointless, whatever.
April 6, 2022
"The Baby Jesus Butt Plug" by Carlton Mellick III
This was the most underwhelming and disappointing book by Melllick that I have read. I stayed confused, the story absolutely never made sense, and when I finished the last line I still had more questions than answers. I feel like most of everything inside this story was just for shock value.
This was the most underwhelming and disappointing book by Melllick that I have read. I stayed confused, the story absolutely never made sense, and when I finished the last line I still had more questions than answers. I feel like most of everything inside this story was just for shock value.
April 8, 2009
Actually a lot better than I thought it was going to be. The butt plug that is a clone of the baby Jesus is only half the story; Its retarded toilet humor is only the icing on a surreal and paranoid cake.
November 27, 2007
never ever buy a baby jesus butt plug...
...they turn on you
...they turn on you
April 21, 2016
Has anyone seen those Obama butt plugs? Yeek.
January 4, 2022
Wtf did I just read?
September 1, 2022
Glad I was drunk when I read this. Strange and twisted but also dumb. I gave it a generous rating for some unique descriptions, e.g. "sausage-colored hair".
December 31, 2022
Really no idea what was going on butt (heh) I suppose that was the point?
November 11, 2022
If you haven't experienced CM3's work...
be ready for a shocking wonderful ride!!!
With each book of his I read (3 now)... I want more!
His total disregard for socially acceptable storylines/plots/subjects is exhilarating!
My interpretation of CM3's attutude:
Fuck social constructs and VIVA a story that grabs you by the brain and screams at you!
be ready for a shocking wonderful ride!!!
With each book of his I read (3 now)... I want more!
His total disregard for socially acceptable storylines/plots/subjects is exhilarating!
My interpretation of CM3's attutude:
Fuck social constructs and VIVA a story that grabs you by the brain and screams at you!
December 24, 2017
A mildly amusing fairy tale with a most excellent title and some disturbing illustrations.
December 22, 2023
What in the actual fuck was that
May 4, 2010
I can't really write a long drawn out review for this book simply because it is a short Aesop's sort of fairy tale, illustrated and all. However, if you have no aversion to worlds where children are extinct, adults are photocopied into existence as adults, and everyone works mindless drone jobs at huge corporations in a viscous cycle of slave the day away and then spend your money on food, useless possessions, or pet babies -- because that is all the satisfaction you are going to get in life, and so you might as well shove it all up your butt -- then you will love this little absurdist allegory.
Our poor couple just feels so empty that they decide to go a backyard breeder to pick up a pet baby. You can even get a clone baby of someone famous, if you like, and the baby Jesus clones are all the rage. But there is a dark side to this pet trade: the heinous abusers who use the pet babies as anal sex toys, and our loving couple is no different than any of the other Joneses on the block, except their little pet baby Jesus turns out to be something like Chucky.
I have been recommended several of Mellick's books on Amazon, and I can say that as a writer of reactionary literature, he has a gift for using the dark, the disturbing, and the ridiculously offensive to state the obvious when it comes to drawing parallels to the ludicrous idiocracy of our modern world. Nothing in his writing ever seems gratuitous or all that shocking when you stop to think about what he is actually saying. This is high concept at its finest and its most deviant and its most perverse and subversive. It's art with purpose, and I like that ... a lot. Not to mention the illustrations are just wonderful. There are a lot of psychological, theological, and sociological themes being explored here, like the feeling of insignificance we have as just one of the many amidst the masses, or how humans have an innate capacity to pervert and abuse everything we can get our hands on in order to either make a buck or get gratification, or how every human has the subconscious desire to submit to a narcissistic need to "love thyself, plus a whole lot more, and all of the exploration is done quickly, so you have to pay attention. The writing has a deliberate lack of finesse, as if an 8 year old adult wrote it -- oh yea, our main character *is* an 8 year old photocopied adult. My only gripe was with the huge font. I understand it was to mimic a children's book, for obvious reasons, but I think a smaller book size and a denser font would have suited this story a bit better, say for instance a pocket size book, then the author could reduce the price to something more reasonable for its length. If it had been done as a proper children's book with a hard-cover and colour illustrations then it would have warranted a $10-15 dollar price tag.
As for the subject matter, if you think South Park is obscene you might want to pass on Mellick. But if you like dark satire and absurdist humour, with a shot of blasphemy thrown for good measure, then you will love and appreciate this book. Some reviewers likened the thematic approach to Cronenberg, Burroughs, and Lynch. I would have to agree with that. This is hardcore punk literature for sure: definitely intellectual and not for the overly sensitive. Do not molest the Baby Jesus, you have been warned.
Our poor couple just feels so empty that they decide to go a backyard breeder to pick up a pet baby. You can even get a clone baby of someone famous, if you like, and the baby Jesus clones are all the rage. But there is a dark side to this pet trade: the heinous abusers who use the pet babies as anal sex toys, and our loving couple is no different than any of the other Joneses on the block, except their little pet baby Jesus turns out to be something like Chucky.
I have been recommended several of Mellick's books on Amazon, and I can say that as a writer of reactionary literature, he has a gift for using the dark, the disturbing, and the ridiculously offensive to state the obvious when it comes to drawing parallels to the ludicrous idiocracy of our modern world. Nothing in his writing ever seems gratuitous or all that shocking when you stop to think about what he is actually saying. This is high concept at its finest and its most deviant and its most perverse and subversive. It's art with purpose, and I like that ... a lot. Not to mention the illustrations are just wonderful. There are a lot of psychological, theological, and sociological themes being explored here, like the feeling of insignificance we have as just one of the many amidst the masses, or how humans have an innate capacity to pervert and abuse everything we can get our hands on in order to either make a buck or get gratification, or how every human has the subconscious desire to submit to a narcissistic need to "love thyself, plus a whole lot more, and all of the exploration is done quickly, so you have to pay attention. The writing has a deliberate lack of finesse, as if an 8 year old adult wrote it -- oh yea, our main character *is* an 8 year old photocopied adult. My only gripe was with the huge font. I understand it was to mimic a children's book, for obvious reasons, but I think a smaller book size and a denser font would have suited this story a bit better, say for instance a pocket size book, then the author could reduce the price to something more reasonable for its length. If it had been done as a proper children's book with a hard-cover and colour illustrations then it would have warranted a $10-15 dollar price tag.
As for the subject matter, if you think South Park is obscene you might want to pass on Mellick. But if you like dark satire and absurdist humour, with a shot of blasphemy thrown for good measure, then you will love and appreciate this book. Some reviewers likened the thematic approach to Cronenberg, Burroughs, and Lynch. I would have to agree with that. This is hardcore punk literature for sure: definitely intellectual and not for the overly sensitive. Do not molest the Baby Jesus, you have been warned.
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