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100 Times: A Memoir of Sexism
A memoir of sexism, harassment, and assault.
A catalog of one hundred incidents of sexism, harassment, and assault from age five to now by Lambda Literary Award finalist, Chavisa Woods. From gender-based discrimination in work places, to unsolicited groping from strangers in public, to the attempted assaults on herself and the assaults of close friends, Woods uses personal stories to prove that sexual violence and discrimination never just happen once, but that it is a consistent battle women and woman aligned people face every day. "All my life, when I've tried to talk to men about sexism, my main obstacle has just been trying to convince them it exists, and that it is something that actually has a deep and near constant impact on my life. When I talk to most women, though, [. . .] there is immediate understanding that the incidents we are discussing are part of an endless stream of sexist experiences."
100 Things is powerful in its straightforwardness, demonstrating how often women are forced to silently endure sexism and harassment and how men are encouraged to feel entitled to another person's space and body. Woods reveals that no age, orientation, time, or place helps prevent sexual violence and that a more in depth conversation is needed to bring it to an end.
A catalog of one hundred incidents of sexism, harassment, and assault from age five to now by Lambda Literary Award finalist, Chavisa Woods. From gender-based discrimination in work places, to unsolicited groping from strangers in public, to the attempted assaults on herself and the assaults of close friends, Woods uses personal stories to prove that sexual violence and discrimination never just happen once, but that it is a consistent battle women and woman aligned people face every day. "All my life, when I've tried to talk to men about sexism, my main obstacle has just been trying to convince them it exists, and that it is something that actually has a deep and near constant impact on my life. When I talk to most women, though, [. . .] there is immediate understanding that the incidents we are discussing are part of an endless stream of sexist experiences."
100 Things is powerful in its straightforwardness, demonstrating how often women are forced to silently endure sexism and harassment and how men are encouraged to feel entitled to another person's space and body. Woods reveals that no age, orientation, time, or place helps prevent sexual violence and that a more in depth conversation is needed to bring it to an end.
160 pages, Paperback
First published June 25, 2019
13 people are currently reading
561 people want to read
About the author
Chavisa Woods
9 books88 followersChavisa Woods is the author of three books of fiction, Things to Do when You’re Goth in the Country, The Albino Album, (both released by Seven Stories Press), and Love Does Not Make Me Gentle or Kind (Fly by Night Press/ Autonomedia/ Unbearables).
Woods was the recipient of the Shirley Jackson Award, The Kathy Acker Award in Writing, the Cobalt Fiction Prize, and the Jerome Foundation Award for Emerging Writers. She was also a three-time finalist for the Lambda Literary Award.
Her writing has appeared in Tin House, Lit Hub, Electric Lit, The Evergreen Review, New York Quarterly, The Brooklyn Rail, Full Stop Magazine, Cleaver Magazine, Quaint, and many others.
Woods has performed and appeared as a featured author at such notable venues as The Whitney Museum of American Art, City Lights Bookstore, Town Hall Seattle, The Brecht Forum, The Cervantes Institute, St. Mark’s Poetry Project, and others.
"This Book is tight, intelligent, and important, and sure to secure Woods a seat in the pantheon of critical twenty-first-century voices." — Booklist
"Think of Woods as a literary exorcist, calling out certain entities that possess rural America: isolation, working-class poverty, drugs, incarceration, military dogma, and evangelical religion." — The Rumpus
"You can say that these stories seem like they were ready made for a post 2017 election but they were written during the Obama presidency; the experience of America that many people have woken up to in the last six months is the America that has been happening since the beginning of this country. Chavisa Woods writes with vision and experience from “this moment between” delivering us into the world that’s always been here.” — Electric Lit
Woods was the recipient of the Shirley Jackson Award, The Kathy Acker Award in Writing, the Cobalt Fiction Prize, and the Jerome Foundation Award for Emerging Writers. She was also a three-time finalist for the Lambda Literary Award.
Her writing has appeared in Tin House, Lit Hub, Electric Lit, The Evergreen Review, New York Quarterly, The Brooklyn Rail, Full Stop Magazine, Cleaver Magazine, Quaint, and many others.
Woods has performed and appeared as a featured author at such notable venues as The Whitney Museum of American Art, City Lights Bookstore, Town Hall Seattle, The Brecht Forum, The Cervantes Institute, St. Mark’s Poetry Project, and others.
"This Book is tight, intelligent, and important, and sure to secure Woods a seat in the pantheon of critical twenty-first-century voices." — Booklist
"Think of Woods as a literary exorcist, calling out certain entities that possess rural America: isolation, working-class poverty, drugs, incarceration, military dogma, and evangelical religion." — The Rumpus
"You can say that these stories seem like they were ready made for a post 2017 election but they were written during the Obama presidency; the experience of America that many people have woken up to in the last six months is the America that has been happening since the beginning of this country. Chavisa Woods writes with vision and experience from “this moment between” delivering us into the world that’s always been here.” — Electric Lit
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
June 29, 2019
Chavisa Woods tells 100 stories of harassment, discrimination, and sexual assault from her own life (age 5 - now) to show the pervasive nature of these incidents in an average woman's life. It didn't matter if she was in a Midwestern small town or New York City, drunk or sober, walking alone at night or at her place of employment. I think all women could write their own collection. I think it should be required reading.
I had a copy from 7 stories press. I can also recommend her collection of short stories - Things to Do When You're Goth in the Country: and Other Stories.
I had a copy from 7 stories press. I can also recommend her collection of short stories - Things to Do When You're Goth in the Country: and Other Stories.
Read
June 27, 2019This is a book that makes you think about your life differently. The female reader cannot avoid cataloguing at least a symbolic portion of their experiences being degraded or diminished, threatened. I watched Chavisa develop the manuscript on Facebook, but reading the actual final draft really reveals her strength, focus and determination because facing the frequency and resonance of these experiences is very difficult. Maybe an "Artists Way" type of workbook could be created helping each of us have the courage to do the work that she does here, because - while difficult- it does produce understanding.
September 11, 2019
I had to keep putting this down because it made me so angry and sad. It also brought up a lot of memories, some that still felt confusing. Woods is so clear about the conflicting emotions that sexist incidents give rise to. We often wonder whether we're overreacting, or we get tied up in expectations that women should be nice--even when they are faced with insulting or frightening behavior. Most women could easily write about 100 times when others acted inappropriately and sexist toward them, often blaming them if they push back. This is an important book, and I wish everyone who has forced their wrongheadedness on another would read it with recognition and remorse.
May 30, 2019
The author (Chavisa Woods) shares 100 examples of sexism that she herself has experienced since she was 5 years old. As she says in the book, there have been many, MANY more incidents than that but these were the most significant to her.
I think both women and men can gain a lot from this book. For women, her experiences will be very familiar. For men, it's a good way to learn how sexism negatively affects women, how draining it can be to deal with that kind of thing every.fricking.day. Woods makes it clear that she doesn't hate men, that she has male friends and that she knows that not all men are assholes but she also doesn't apologize for letting men know when they have crossed a line and fucked up.
I've heard some guys say, "OMG, it has gotten to the point where you can't even TALK to a woman in a bar," and Woods calls that out for the bullshit it is. She is a queer woman but she is fine with flirting, with someone finding her attractive, etc. However, if the man doesn't back off when she says she's not interested, she doesn't put up with it. She's fierce and I love it.
I think both women and men can gain a lot from this book. For women, her experiences will be very familiar. For men, it's a good way to learn how sexism negatively affects women, how draining it can be to deal with that kind of thing every.fricking.day. Woods makes it clear that she doesn't hate men, that she has male friends and that she knows that not all men are assholes but she also doesn't apologize for letting men know when they have crossed a line and fucked up.
I've heard some guys say, "OMG, it has gotten to the point where you can't even TALK to a woman in a bar," and Woods calls that out for the bullshit it is. She is a queer woman but she is fine with flirting, with someone finding her attractive, etc. However, if the man doesn't back off when she says she's not interested, she doesn't put up with it. She's fierce and I love it.
July 26, 2019
It's about time. I am telling everyone I know about this book. Any woman could have written it and titled it 3,000 times or a zillion, but the clincher is, Chavisa Woods did it first. That is when you know it is a good book, when you wish you had written it. This book is what you would call elegant. By that I mean the idea of the book. Simple. Elegant. Funny. Smart. Poignant. Important. Rings so true that all of us could have, should have, would have been the author. Me, I got, like, at least 500,000, but the 100 here is good, really good.
July 27, 2019
Chavisa Woods’ 100 Times: A Memoir of Sexism has a straightforward structure: Woods writes, in chronological order, 100 instances of sexism she has experienced or observed. The majority of these instances involve either verbal or physical sexual harassment, in private and public, including assault and attempted rape.
Woods makes the most of the book’s format by using it to show just how relentless sexism can be in the lives of women. Her writing is conversational and not at all academic. Reading this book feels like talking to a friend and having that friend confide in you. This writing style paired with her chronological arrangement of the subject matter really helps the reader understand the mental and emotional weight of sexist harassment.
For me, the section of the book with the most impact was number 97. In this section, Woods listens to a man at a bar acknowledge the statistical fact that the leading cause of death for pregnant women in the U.S. is violence from their male partners. He acknowledges this, but still implicates these women in their own deaths because “there’s two sides to that.” He states they must have done something to “push” their male partners to kill them. He acknowledges the rate of women being murdered, but insists that it’s women who actually have power over men. Somehow.
While reading this section, I remembered a much earlier one: number 25. In this section, a nineteen year old man in Woods’ hometown murdered himself and the daughter he’d had with his eighteen year old ex-wife. The murder-suicide was speculated to be his way of getting back at his ex-wife for divorcing him and for having a new partner who would assist in raising their child. And yet, despite having had no hand in the violence herself, there is an attitude in the town that the ex-wife somehow caused it by not sticking it out with her ex-husband. Why isn’t this man being held solely responsible for his own violence? Why would anyone think things would have been better if this woman had forced herself to stay with a man proved himself to be capable of such violence that he killed his own child? With her writing of these sections, Woods is laying plain just how distorted and unhealthy North American society is when it comes to gendered violence.
It was also notable for me as a lesbian that Woods wrote openly about the lesbophobic harassment she has received. Sometimes heterosexual women assume that lesbians don’t have to endure as much sexism or misogyny because we do not partner with men. The world at large sometimes seems to assumes that homophobic violence is only ever directed at men. This book shows how untrue this is. Lesbian women still have male family members, friends, and colleagues. We encounter men when we go out in public every day. While we have come a long way in terms of human rights, I still see news stories every year about lesbian (or bi or queer) women who are violently attacked for their sexuality.
100 Times is a deceptively simple book. It is clearly written and easy to read, but it hits hard. It’s the kind of book that sticks with you long after reading it. I’m hoping to see it on various recommended book lists of 2019.
Woods makes the most of the book’s format by using it to show just how relentless sexism can be in the lives of women. Her writing is conversational and not at all academic. Reading this book feels like talking to a friend and having that friend confide in you. This writing style paired with her chronological arrangement of the subject matter really helps the reader understand the mental and emotional weight of sexist harassment.
For me, the section of the book with the most impact was number 97. In this section, Woods listens to a man at a bar acknowledge the statistical fact that the leading cause of death for pregnant women in the U.S. is violence from their male partners. He acknowledges this, but still implicates these women in their own deaths because “there’s two sides to that.” He states they must have done something to “push” their male partners to kill them. He acknowledges the rate of women being murdered, but insists that it’s women who actually have power over men. Somehow.
While reading this section, I remembered a much earlier one: number 25. In this section, a nineteen year old man in Woods’ hometown murdered himself and the daughter he’d had with his eighteen year old ex-wife. The murder-suicide was speculated to be his way of getting back at his ex-wife for divorcing him and for having a new partner who would assist in raising their child. And yet, despite having had no hand in the violence herself, there is an attitude in the town that the ex-wife somehow caused it by not sticking it out with her ex-husband. Why isn’t this man being held solely responsible for his own violence? Why would anyone think things would have been better if this woman had forced herself to stay with a man proved himself to be capable of such violence that he killed his own child? With her writing of these sections, Woods is laying plain just how distorted and unhealthy North American society is when it comes to gendered violence.
It was also notable for me as a lesbian that Woods wrote openly about the lesbophobic harassment she has received. Sometimes heterosexual women assume that lesbians don’t have to endure as much sexism or misogyny because we do not partner with men. The world at large sometimes seems to assumes that homophobic violence is only ever directed at men. This book shows how untrue this is. Lesbian women still have male family members, friends, and colleagues. We encounter men when we go out in public every day. While we have come a long way in terms of human rights, I still see news stories every year about lesbian (or bi or queer) women who are violently attacked for their sexuality.
100 Times is a deceptively simple book. It is clearly written and easy to read, but it hits hard. It’s the kind of book that sticks with you long after reading it. I’m hoping to see it on various recommended book lists of 2019.
March 13, 2019
This book is a modern beacon where sexism is concerned, when focusing on sexual violence.
From its introduction:
I must admit, being a white, middle-aged man, that the last sentence in that paragraph woke me up somewhat. A second after reading it, I thought, "Oh yes, most people don't actively try and think as feminists".
The real need to read this book, for me, doesn't have to do with the fact that I enjoy feminist literature; personally, I believe sexism to be one of the biggest problems that humanity is not only facing but has faced for a very long time, but the thing about this book that truly helped me, are the many and versatile ways through which Woods has been subjected to sexism from men; it viscerally and intellectually reminded me of reading Laura Bates's "Everyday Sexism", and also following the #everydaysexism hashtag on Twitter, as they exposed the far-reaching nature of men's verbal violence and discrimination of others than men in ways I had not experienced before.
So, the book starts:
Now, thinking about that, I suppose that some men may think "It's a boy's prank!" but Woods is right; that last sentence does put the finger on the matter; a girl could probably not have gotten away with doing the same thing to a boy, and they're five years old. The old "boys being boys" idiocy just has to stop, and reading that paragraph kind of validates that the tombstone needs to be in-place soon.
This example is also mind-numbingly horrific, in my mind; to even joke about something like sexualising a six-year-old child is in the realm of the insane. It's not OK, it's not acceptable, and it's assault. To be male and to propagate the behaviour is simply degenerate and punishable.
Early into the book, it stunned me. I had to put it down and recognise how most men, I wager, seldom come across this pap. It's simply not in "our" world, by which I mean that a lot of men seem to think "well, it doesn't happen to me, which means it doesn't happen", which is solipsistic beyond sanity.
Reading this book is a mind cleanser; for me, it's like sobering up. This is what the incel sexists need to read and not hang out at Twitter and Reddit and become even more stupid.
The incident that is described in the following two paragraphs recently replayed, in near-entirety, where I live, in Sweden:
That event was actually explained and deemed to be completely justified in the eyes of some persons, which I believe is at the gist of what we men need to do when hearing of sexism being performed in any way: we need to point it out and denounce it immediately.
On another note, I love how Woods prints small facts about hailed persons, showing them for what they actually are:
Sure, Mailer was a celebrated artist, but he also (much like Pablo Picasso) was a complete sexist, which must be known for all admirers of "The Arts" who try to explain away the behaviours of sexists everywhere.
Some times, while reading the book, there comes a story that somehow ends on a good note, despite of something tragic having taken place:
It's poetic, in the middle of all the hate. Woods does carry off the hard task of balancing her stories while maintaining good prosody; this book breathes well.
Woods also speaks of how all transgender persons that she was close to, who revealed their coming out/transitioning to living as a woman lost their job within a year of doing so; about how she asked a male friend to read her exact words from a script to make another man act; how she was chased by a bunch of boys with baseball bats who tried to kill her (according to herself and at least one witness; how cis males believe they can "turn" lesbians; how men blatantly and without any context tell her to shave her legs, etc.
This book is a triumphant achievement. If I worked in a school, I'd try my best to force it to buy a very large amount of copies and spread it everywhere. Physically grown men need this. People need to talk about this, mainly men. And let's not forget that sexism exists everywhere; women do it too.
I give this book 5/5 without even thinking about another grade. This is masterful and immensely needed by all, realising it or not.
From its introduction:
In this book, I’ve cataloged one hundred formative incidents of sexist discrimination, violence, sexual harassment, assault, and attempted rape I’ve experienced from childhood to now, to paint a clear picture of the impact sexism has had on me throughout my life. All my life when I’ve tried to talk to men about sexism, my main obstacle has been trying to convince them, quite simply, that it exists.
[...]
I am sharing this dark list, these stories, because the majority of women I know have such a list, if they start to think about it. And that is entirely my point. It’s not that my life has been exceptionally plagued with sexism. It’s that it hasn’t. That is exactly why I wrote this. It’s my hope that men will read this book and come away with a greater understanding of how sexism shapes women, of the cumulative impact it has, that may otherwise remain invisible to many men.
And as upsetting as some of the stories in this book may be to read, all of these things actually happened to me. One woman. One person. And remember, I still haven’t written about every time sexism carved something out of me, permanently reshaping me. I’ve only written about one hundred of those times.
I must admit, being a white, middle-aged man, that the last sentence in that paragraph woke me up somewhat. A second after reading it, I thought, "Oh yes, most people don't actively try and think as feminists".
The real need to read this book, for me, doesn't have to do with the fact that I enjoy feminist literature; personally, I believe sexism to be one of the biggest problems that humanity is not only facing but has faced for a very long time, but the thing about this book that truly helped me, are the many and versatile ways through which Woods has been subjected to sexism from men; it viscerally and intellectually reminded me of reading Laura Bates's "Everyday Sexism", and also following the #everydaysexism hashtag on Twitter, as they exposed the far-reaching nature of men's verbal violence and discrimination of others than men in ways I had not experienced before.
So, the book starts:
When I was five years old, I was playing in the sprinklers in my swimming suit with a five-year-old boy. He kept pinching my butt to the point that I started crying. I repeatedly told him to stop, and finally retaliated by hitting him. He didn’t stop. He kept doing it, chasing me and pinching my butt harder and harder, until it actually hurt. When went inside and I told on him, his mother laughed at me and told me I probably liked it. Almost all of the adults present thought it was cute. I learned quickly that if a boy was hurting me, he would get in trouble. But, if the way he was hurting me was sexual, I would be mocked, and it would be assumed I’d secretly enjoyed this assault.
Now, thinking about that, I suppose that some men may think "It's a boy's prank!" but Woods is right; that last sentence does put the finger on the matter; a girl could probably not have gotten away with doing the same thing to a boy, and they're five years old. The old "boys being boys" idiocy just has to stop, and reading that paragraph kind of validates that the tombstone needs to be in-place soon.
In the second grade , I raised my hand in PE. I was wearing a tank top. The male gym teacher said, “Oh yeah, I can see it, baby, hubba,” in a goofy sexy voice, and leaned down and motioned to my chest. I looked down and realized he was referring to my nipple, which I noticed was poking slightly out of my tank top. I was six years old and had no breasts. I’d never felt embarrassed about my nipples showing before, or thought of my chest as sexual. I was deeply embarrassed in that moment, because of the way my adult male teacher decided to talk to me in front of all of my classmates. I don’t think this man is evil or anything. I don’t think he’s a pedophile. He just didn’t think twice about jokingly sexualizing a young girl, because this is so normalized. The impact on me, though, was to make me overly aware and ashamed of my body, especially of my chest, which I had never even previously been aware of as a possibly sexual part of my six-year-old body. He also seemed to be jokingly implying I was “showing him” my nipple on purpose.
This example is also mind-numbingly horrific, in my mind; to even joke about something like sexualising a six-year-old child is in the realm of the insane. It's not OK, it's not acceptable, and it's assault. To be male and to propagate the behaviour is simply degenerate and punishable.
Early into the book, it stunned me. I had to put it down and recognise how most men, I wager, seldom come across this pap. It's simply not in "our" world, by which I mean that a lot of men seem to think "well, it doesn't happen to me, which means it doesn't happen", which is solipsistic beyond sanity.
Reading this book is a mind cleanser; for me, it's like sobering up. This is what the incel sexists need to read and not hang out at Twitter and Reddit and become even more stupid.
The incident that is described in the following two paragraphs recently replayed, in near-entirety, where I live, in Sweden:
When I was seventeen, a boy who’d graduated from my school a year earlier, at the age of nineteen, killed himself and his two-year-old daughter, in retaliation for his ex-wife and child’s mother (who was only eighteen years old) breaking up with him and getting a new boyfriend.
His ex-wife said that he’d killed their daughter because he knew this is what would hurt her the most, and he wanted revenge for her getting with another man. This was more than speculation on her part. He’d been granted limited custody of the two-year-old girl, weekends only, though it was a temporary ruling, in place until the custody trial was finalized. In his suicide note, he stated that he loved his daughter, but could not tolerate his daughter living with his ex-wife and another man.
That event was actually explained and deemed to be completely justified in the eyes of some persons, which I believe is at the gist of what we men need to do when hearing of sexism being performed in any way: we need to point it out and denounce it immediately.
On another note, I love how Woods prints small facts about hailed persons, showing them for what they actually are:
Norman Mailer was a celebrated, National Book Award– and Pulitzer Prize– winning novelist and essayist who theorized a lot about how men are oppressed by feminism. He also attempted to murder his wife by stabbing her repeatedly, which did nearly kill her, and for which he only served three years’ probation, which men who love him never like to talk about.
Sure, Mailer was a celebrated artist, but he also (much like Pablo Picasso) was a complete sexist, which must be known for all admirers of "The Arts" who try to explain away the behaviours of sexists everywhere.
Some times, while reading the book, there comes a story that somehow ends on a good note, despite of something tragic having taken place:
When I was twenty-three, I was playing racquetball with my girlfriend on a gorgeous beach on Long Island. It was a late summer day, somewhat chilly, so we were both wearing sweatshirts and jeans on the beach. At one point, when we took a break from hitting the ball, we realized there were two men, who were totally unconnected to one another, sitting on opposite sides, near us, masturbating.
It was a sure thing. They both had their dicks out, fully exposed, and were staring at us while jacking off. Two of them. One on our left. One on our right. And they didn’t know each other. I just feel like I have to say that twice. “Are you fucking kidding me?” my girlfriend shouted. I took the small ball we’d been playing racquetball with and threw it at one man’s head. He ducked and smiled, then licked his lips at me. He did not stop masturbating.
My girlfriend (and I do mean lesbian partner) walked up to the other man, who was a white, well-dressed businessman type, with a nice bag sitting next to him. She picked up his bag and walked it over to the ocean. He stood, holding his crotch, his pants at his feet, and started waddling behind her, shouting “No, no, no!” She threw his bag into the ocean, as he screamed. “Fuck you!” she told him, and then again, in Spanish. The other man, who looked more like a not-well-off-at-all troll, got up and ran away as she headed over to him.
When we lamented the story to a heterosexual couple on the beach later, the man of the couple told us we shouldn’t come to the beach “alone together.”
Two women . . . “alone” . . . “together.”
Alone. Together.
It's poetic, in the middle of all the hate. Woods does carry off the hard task of balancing her stories while maintaining good prosody; this book breathes well.
Woods also speaks of how all transgender persons that she was close to, who revealed their coming out/transitioning to living as a woman lost their job within a year of doing so; about how she asked a male friend to read her exact words from a script to make another man act; how she was chased by a bunch of boys with baseball bats who tried to kill her (according to herself and at least one witness; how cis males believe they can "turn" lesbians; how men blatantly and without any context tell her to shave her legs, etc.
This book is a triumphant achievement. If I worked in a school, I'd try my best to force it to buy a very large amount of copies and spread it everywhere. Physically grown men need this. People need to talk about this, mainly men. And let's not forget that sexism exists everywhere; women do it too.
I give this book 5/5 without even thinking about another grade. This is masterful and immensely needed by all, realising it or not.
November 4, 2019
This memoir of sexism is a very honest account of sexism, as experienced by so many women. While I cannot say that I have experienced similar things (some yes, others not so much), it is a great reminder that sexism is a part of life for ALL women, and non-binary people. Just because our experiences differ, doesn't make it less true, or less harmful.
February 16, 2021
A highly recommended memoir that affected me deeply, first having me nodding along angrily when Chavisa Woods was a minor and then shrinking back in fear as the sexism became bolder, scarier, more forceful in her twenties and thirties.
Check out the full review at Grab the Lapels.
Check out the full review at Grab the Lapels.
May 6, 2021
This is mostly just relaying instances of sexism, assault, and attempted rape. It starts at age 5 and goes through her thirties. The stories resonated. I wanted a bit more analysis of her own reactions, particularly surrounding violence.
October 28, 2019
How do you even rate something like this? It's almost impossible for me to even consider awarding stars for something so tough and painful, but I'll leave it at 3.
I don't recommend this in any sort of traditional way, but I think it's important to bear witness.
I don't recommend this in any sort of traditional way, but I think it's important to bear witness.
November 3, 2019
This is a short but powerful book. A simple concept, Woods writes a memoir of her life entirely based on 100 times in her life she experienced sexual harassment, cat calling, sexual violence and assault. The instances vary from "minor" (you know, eye roll inducing) like a man interrupting her reading a book called "Men Explain Things to Me" to incorrectly explain something in the book to her (he was reading over her shoulder) to serious instances of attempted rape and sexual assault.Woods prose is simple but powerful. As a woman, I could relate to some of it (being asked to make the office coffee or plan the office party--weird how they never ask the men to do those things), or the occasional cat call or butt or boob grab by some rando on the street. Thankfully I have not experienced many of the more serious things like attempted assault or rape (though for some of those things, I know someone who had similar experiences). It made me think about some experiences that I hadn't really thought of as sexist before, especially from childhood (boys snapping bra straps or being extra harsh on the girls that wanted to play football or other sports and games with them) in a new light and see how sexism gets ingrained early. It made me think more about my 4 year old son and how we are teaching him--are we modeling egalitarian behavior? How are gender stereotypes being reinforced in his school and how can we combat that at home? Woods first example in her memoir is from when she is 5 years old. It really made me think about how insidious sexism can be--adults dismissing boys' behavior as "Oh, he probably likes you!" whenever a boy hits or threatens her. I certainly experienced that as a child and while I never thought the boy's behavior was acceptable, I did internalize the mentality of "Well that's what boys do." I hope to change that as I work to raise my own son.
Anyways... I really enjoyed this book. I whipped through it in a couple days. It is just such a quick and easy read. While I think women might read it and find it relatable, I do think it's worthwhile for men to read it, especially men that feel they are allies. I had some very good discussions with my husband about the topics (and a tie in to something pointed out to him at work by a female colleague). Woods has a few instances where she is dealing with a man who clearly considers himself and enlightened feminist ally but has his own sexist tendencies (and whoo boy do those people not like to have any of their problematic behavior pointed out.) I would hope perhaps for men reading this book they might be able to recognize behavior they have engaged in, even if they (hopefully) never did any of the most horrific things.
Overall, I highly recommend this book.
Anyways... I really enjoyed this book. I whipped through it in a couple days. It is just such a quick and easy read. While I think women might read it and find it relatable, I do think it's worthwhile for men to read it, especially men that feel they are allies. I had some very good discussions with my husband about the topics (and a tie in to something pointed out to him at work by a female colleague). Woods has a few instances where she is dealing with a man who clearly considers himself and enlightened feminist ally but has his own sexist tendencies (and whoo boy do those people not like to have any of their problematic behavior pointed out.) I would hope perhaps for men reading this book they might be able to recognize behavior they have engaged in, even if they (hopefully) never did any of the most horrific things.
Overall, I highly recommend this book.
February 18, 2020
Having to revisit traumatic incidents to write is hard itself, but it is harder because you have to clarify your thoughts, having to "come to terms with it" to put it on the paper. Because there's always this uncertainty that causes us to go back to that dark place all over again and think maybe I've imagined stuff, maybe I could have done something differently, maybe I'm being dramatic. But no. Countless examples in this book suggest otherwise. I deeply appreciate her caurage(and rage) to write this book.
In fact I was so hooked by its horror that I almost stayed up all night which was the first time I did that.
Some parts of the book were plain sad(especially her childhood part), some rage-inducing, some just humongously perverse and almost unrealistic that they either made me laugh bitterly or sigh in vicarious pain. Now it's morning and I'm both incensed and tired!
I thought I knew what the world was like to so-called minorities. I have experienced my whole life not fitting into any category the world has bestowed upon me, making people, even including psychiatrists who were supposed to pull a neutral countenance, to have this questioning look on their face. I know what it feels like having to prove your existence, yet stuck in the conundrum to not go over the board and aggrevate the situation by upsetting people around you.
What I gleaned from this book is that not all sexual harrassment has to include assault to be considered grave(obviously). It can be a full-blown rape, but sometimes it's everyday pesky little things that can really chip away at your self-esteem like a chronic pain.
In fact I was so hooked by its horror that I almost stayed up all night which was the first time I did that.
Some parts of the book were plain sad(especially her childhood part), some rage-inducing, some just humongously perverse and almost unrealistic that they either made me laugh bitterly or sigh in vicarious pain. Now it's morning and I'm both incensed and tired!
I thought I knew what the world was like to so-called minorities. I have experienced my whole life not fitting into any category the world has bestowed upon me, making people, even including psychiatrists who were supposed to pull a neutral countenance, to have this questioning look on their face. I know what it feels like having to prove your existence, yet stuck in the conundrum to not go over the board and aggrevate the situation by upsetting people around you.
What I gleaned from this book is that not all sexual harrassment has to include assault to be considered grave(obviously). It can be a full-blown rape, but sometimes it's everyday pesky little things that can really chip away at your self-esteem like a chronic pain.
July 30, 2019
I was so torn about reviewing this book, between 3-4 stars. I liked it, but I don't think it's just about sexism. I think it's also about homophobia, as well as the author's personal frustrations and lashing out. It's not an easy book to read, because basically it's a litany of 100 times the author experienced either harassment, sexism, or homophobia.
My conflict is this: and I hesitate to express it, let me preface this by saying I do NOT doubt the author's experiences or recollections in the least. It all happened. But my first thought reading this was "omg, I have been through this as well, but I can't remember 100 specific times". Then, because I am one of those people that love to analyze, I think "is she holding onto these? did she write down each time in a journal? It is hindering her, holding this anger? Can she let it go?" she does overreact on a few occasions, but based upon what she went through, you can understand why she snapped. I've told more than a few men off in my time, but I never punched anyone (except when I was in second grade, and he deserved it), usually my words were enough.
This is not an easy book for a woman to read, because it may dredge up memories that they want to forget, but it would be a good book for a man to read, only because most of them have no clue just how ingrained sexism is in our society. Although they may have been brought up to "respect" women, this book gives them a good picture of just how insistent it is, and how it occurs on almost a daily basis.
My conflict is this: and I hesitate to express it, let me preface this by saying I do NOT doubt the author's experiences or recollections in the least. It all happened. But my first thought reading this was "omg, I have been through this as well, but I can't remember 100 specific times". Then, because I am one of those people that love to analyze, I think "is she holding onto these? did she write down each time in a journal? It is hindering her, holding this anger? Can she let it go?" she does overreact on a few occasions, but based upon what she went through, you can understand why she snapped. I've told more than a few men off in my time, but I never punched anyone (except when I was in second grade, and he deserved it), usually my words were enough.
This is not an easy book for a woman to read, because it may dredge up memories that they want to forget, but it would be a good book for a man to read, only because most of them have no clue just how ingrained sexism is in our society. Although they may have been brought up to "respect" women, this book gives them a good picture of just how insistent it is, and how it occurs on almost a daily basis.
July 23, 2019
None of these stories are that surprising on its own. It is the sheer number that happen to one person, throughout only part of one life time that shows the impact that this single issue can have, and how it manifests as a recurring theme, jading one's view. It is impossible to not change due to the fear that each event piles on. Would recommend this book to any feminist, whether it be a man who really wants to get it, or woman wanting to find comfort from others who have dealt with shared sexist experiences.
In the first few stories, the sexism seems a lighter flavor, the 'accepted' sexism of society and its expectations. For example in the 2nd story where a kid doesn't want to share his toys, sexism seems secondary, just an added flavor that occurred because it was available. However, soon it becomes all sorts of sexism whether it be unwanted come-ons, well-intentioned flirtations, and malicious assault. And besides the constant affronts one seems to have to deal with, there are the enablers: 'explainers' or 'justifiers'.
I have to admit that at times, I thought about a few of the stories, "is this sexism?" But I don't think that was the point; sexism is part of the equation, whether it be through interpretation of actions or unconscious intent.
Woods does a good job in showing how sexism comes from men and women, people we respect and complete strangers. After finishing the book, I was struck by the pervasiveness of it all.
In the first few stories, the sexism seems a lighter flavor, the 'accepted' sexism of society and its expectations. For example in the 2nd story where a kid doesn't want to share his toys, sexism seems secondary, just an added flavor that occurred because it was available. However, soon it becomes all sorts of sexism whether it be unwanted come-ons, well-intentioned flirtations, and malicious assault. And besides the constant affronts one seems to have to deal with, there are the enablers: 'explainers' or 'justifiers'.
I have to admit that at times, I thought about a few of the stories, "is this sexism?" But I don't think that was the point; sexism is part of the equation, whether it be through interpretation of actions or unconscious intent.
Woods does a good job in showing how sexism comes from men and women, people we respect and complete strangers. After finishing the book, I was struck by the pervasiveness of it all.
September 29, 2019
This book is laid out with a very simple format: Woods has put down on paper 100 different instances of sexual harassment and sexual abuse, ranging from discrimination, to verbal abuse to groping to out and out assault. These instances are laid out chronologically, from age 5 to her mid-30s. These have happened everywhere; in school (by a teacher), in places of employment, in bars, and even in her own apartment – by her male roommate who refused to wear pants. And they are not by any means *all* the problems she has had with sexist men. She writes plainly and simply, just laying out what happened with no melodrama attached.
Most women reading this will be horrified, but will also recognize their own lives. Most of us have endured these kinds of discrimination, harassment and assault. I cringed, because I certainly have, from the mildest to the worst. And despite the fact that these things happen to almost all of us, a huge segment of men- even men who are feminists- do not believe that sexual harassment happens. It is so ingrained in our society that it’s become invisible. We mostly shrug it off.
I wish this book were given to each and every middle school student in some kind of health or even civics class. These problems need to become visible, before the kids get out there navigating adult life. Five stars, and kudos to the author.
Most women reading this will be horrified, but will also recognize their own lives. Most of us have endured these kinds of discrimination, harassment and assault. I cringed, because I certainly have, from the mildest to the worst. And despite the fact that these things happen to almost all of us, a huge segment of men- even men who are feminists- do not believe that sexual harassment happens. It is so ingrained in our society that it’s become invisible. We mostly shrug it off.
I wish this book were given to each and every middle school student in some kind of health or even civics class. These problems need to become visible, before the kids get out there navigating adult life. Five stars, and kudos to the author.
February 9, 2020
This is sad and short with 100 brief incidents from the author's life when she was the target of sexual assault, harassment, and/or abuse. It's hard to read more than a few at a time. The reader must feel sorry for the person subjected to this kind of mistreatment, but then realizes that the same experiences are a part of each girl's and woman's life to one degree or another. This should be required reading for all boys starting about junior high, but some of the abuse documented here was carried out by boys much younger than junior high. It's imperative to solve this problem, but difficult to know how. Some advocates teaching girls and women to use more violence, but that could easily backfire on them. The problem is caused by men, so addressing the behavior of boys and men has to be part of the solution. Read it to become more aware.
December 2, 2019
This book has been my companion since I bought it in November. Now it's December, and I've read it and am earnestly thinking about it because I do not want the effects to wear off. I brought the book to an appointment with a social worker where our goal was to explore why I have agoraphobia, and because of having read 100 Times I was able to give an instance of a time that later drove me indoors. The book was right next to me on the table like a friend.
Read
September 2, 2019How do I even review this book? I mean, I can't say "I liked it"; that doesn't seem appropriate. It's an intense read. I recommend it.
April 2, 2022
I have a new hero, and her name is Chavisa Woods. I can only imagine how exhausting and re-traumatizing it was to write this book, let alone to have lived the events described in it, which clearly just scratch the surface of the bullsh*t she regularly endures.
In concept, it reminded me of Amber Ruffin's excellent "You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: Crazy Stories about Racism," which was a comedy book (a laugh until you cry comedy book) where rather than writing about racism in general, Ruffin wrote about racist sh*t that happened to a single person, her sister.
For this book, the author writes about 100 instances of gender-based harassment, large and small, that have happened to her from age 5 until now. Sometimes a chapter might be two sentences; other times 10 pages. All memories are cut to the bone, with no rambling, just sharp jabs.
There was a point in the book where I had to take a break for a few days because the misogyny was so overwhelming and ugly. The book's unadorned language and the author's bravery keeps the reader going. When she begins to lose it in reaction to the seriously-F'd-up behavior of men in every aspect of her life, I can see how some readers might even turn against her and say, well, that wasn't called for. But, Jesus, that's the whole point of the book — women can't behave toward men as men behave toward women in our society.
Anyway, I recognized the behavior of so many men I know, how they were "just joking," how women are being rude to what's intended as a compliment, etc. She rarely analyzes the b.s. in this book but she does point out the difficult position of not wanting to be seen as overreacting while if she doesn't take repeated obnoxious behavior seriously, it can lead to violence and death that she "should've" seen coming.
Unfortunately, I've also seen the lack of support from other women that the author frequently experienced. I remember being on a jury once and a woman saying we should pick a man to be the foreman because women just aren't good at that kind of thing.
Excerpt:
When I was five years old, I was playing in the sprinklers in my swimming suit with a five-year-old boy. He kept pinching my butt to the point that I started crying. I repeatedly told him to stop, and finally retaliated by hitting him. He didn’t stop. He kept doing it, chasing me and pinching my butt harder and harder, until it actually hurt. When I went inside and told on him, his mother laughed at me and told me I probably liked it. Almost all of the adults present thought it was cute.
I learned quickly that if a boy was hurting me, he would get in trouble. But, if the way he was hurting me was sexual, I would be mocked, and it would be assumed I’d secretly enjoyed this assault.
And here's one more longer excerpt from when a man approaches her in a bar and he mocks her when he tells her she's writing this book, claiming that men are just as big a victims of sexism as women:
I said, “Do you know what the number one cause of death is for pregnant women in the US?”
He nodded, “Yeah, yeah, I know. Murder by their male partners.”
This was a fairly new statistic that had come out in the past year. Previously, when collecting data on mortality rates among pregnant women, causes of death directly related to complications with the pregnancy were taken into consideration. But a number of studies that looked at causes of death for pregnant women, including those not related to health complications, found that the number one cause of death of women who are pregnant is male violence. When I first read this, I was sickened and struck with disbelief. I assumed this would be anyone’s reaction.
“Okay, so you know.” I said. “Well, there it is. There’s no equivalent. Pregnant women aren’t murdering their male partners at epidemic rates that actually qualify as a major health risk.”
“Yeah, that’s bad,” he said, “but,” and then he said something truly revealing. He said, “You gotta think, what was her part in that? When that happens, you know, when a pregnant woman is murdered by her partner, that’s a relationship. There are two sides to that. And you have to think, what did she do leading up to that to push the guy to go that far?”
The three other men standing with us nodded in agreement.
“Right?” one of them said.
In concept, it reminded me of Amber Ruffin's excellent "You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: Crazy Stories about Racism," which was a comedy book (a laugh until you cry comedy book) where rather than writing about racism in general, Ruffin wrote about racist sh*t that happened to a single person, her sister.
For this book, the author writes about 100 instances of gender-based harassment, large and small, that have happened to her from age 5 until now. Sometimes a chapter might be two sentences; other times 10 pages. All memories are cut to the bone, with no rambling, just sharp jabs.
There was a point in the book where I had to take a break for a few days because the misogyny was so overwhelming and ugly. The book's unadorned language and the author's bravery keeps the reader going. When she begins to lose it in reaction to the seriously-F'd-up behavior of men in every aspect of her life, I can see how some readers might even turn against her and say, well, that wasn't called for. But, Jesus, that's the whole point of the book — women can't behave toward men as men behave toward women in our society.
Anyway, I recognized the behavior of so many men I know, how they were "just joking," how women are being rude to what's intended as a compliment, etc. She rarely analyzes the b.s. in this book but she does point out the difficult position of not wanting to be seen as overreacting while if she doesn't take repeated obnoxious behavior seriously, it can lead to violence and death that she "should've" seen coming.
Unfortunately, I've also seen the lack of support from other women that the author frequently experienced. I remember being on a jury once and a woman saying we should pick a man to be the foreman because women just aren't good at that kind of thing.
Excerpt:
When I was five years old, I was playing in the sprinklers in my swimming suit with a five-year-old boy. He kept pinching my butt to the point that I started crying. I repeatedly told him to stop, and finally retaliated by hitting him. He didn’t stop. He kept doing it, chasing me and pinching my butt harder and harder, until it actually hurt. When I went inside and told on him, his mother laughed at me and told me I probably liked it. Almost all of the adults present thought it was cute.
I learned quickly that if a boy was hurting me, he would get in trouble. But, if the way he was hurting me was sexual, I would be mocked, and it would be assumed I’d secretly enjoyed this assault.
And here's one more longer excerpt from when a man approaches her in a bar and he mocks her when he tells her she's writing this book, claiming that men are just as big a victims of sexism as women:
I said, “Do you know what the number one cause of death is for pregnant women in the US?”
He nodded, “Yeah, yeah, I know. Murder by their male partners.”
This was a fairly new statistic that had come out in the past year. Previously, when collecting data on mortality rates among pregnant women, causes of death directly related to complications with the pregnancy were taken into consideration. But a number of studies that looked at causes of death for pregnant women, including those not related to health complications, found that the number one cause of death of women who are pregnant is male violence. When I first read this, I was sickened and struck with disbelief. I assumed this would be anyone’s reaction.
“Okay, so you know.” I said. “Well, there it is. There’s no equivalent. Pregnant women aren’t murdering their male partners at epidemic rates that actually qualify as a major health risk.”
“Yeah, that’s bad,” he said, “but,” and then he said something truly revealing. He said, “You gotta think, what was her part in that? When that happens, you know, when a pregnant woman is murdered by her partner, that’s a relationship. There are two sides to that. And you have to think, what did she do leading up to that to push the guy to go that far?”
The three other men standing with us nodded in agreement.
“Right?” one of them said.
June 30, 2025
This is like if someone took the concept of Everyday Sexism and wrote an entire memoir about it. I knew it was going to be good from the foreword, where Ms. Woods talks about writing on a train and having a man get in her space on the Subway and mansplain what he thought the book she was reading was really about. Just to give the interaction a taste of delicious irony, the book was Rebecca Solnit's Men Explain Things to Me.
There are humorous moments in this memoir, but mostly what it made me feel was frustration, sadness, and rage. Starting from when she was a young girl and working to the present day, Woods chronicles one hundred acts of sexism that stand out in her recollection, starting from a boy stabbing her in the hand with a knife for wanting to borrow his digging toys (because girls can't dig) and ending with a Lyft driver with no social graces or sense of personal spaces.
The most upsetting story to me was the one about the doctors who dismissed women's opinions about their own bodies. One dismissed her grandmother's symptoms (which ended up being a heart-attack). Another gave her an unnecessary cervical biopsy, claiming her pap-smear was "irregular." The story about her roommate who refused to put on pants was both amusing and upsetting. The story about the predatory theater technician who kept getting hired and put into proximity with children filled me with incredulity and anger.
Chavisa Woods is an engaging writer. She knows how to tell a good story. She is brave, even though she shouldn't have to be, and strong in a way that she shouldn't need to be. Her story made me wonder how many woman have been forced to don similar suits of armor just to go out and engage in the world. They made me remember similar threatening incidents when I worked in the city, when I was alone and a man confronted me and all my thoughts began to turn to how I could safely get away. They made me think about how it's a surprise and a relief when these interactions are benign, and how I have been trained by society to immediately be on guard and suspicious by default.
This is one of those books that everyone should read. I couldn't put this down and read through it in a day. It's honestly shocking that it doesn't have more reviews than it does. I can't wait to read more of her work, because she is truly gifted with a compelling voice.
5 stars
There are humorous moments in this memoir, but mostly what it made me feel was frustration, sadness, and rage. Starting from when she was a young girl and working to the present day, Woods chronicles one hundred acts of sexism that stand out in her recollection, starting from a boy stabbing her in the hand with a knife for wanting to borrow his digging toys (because girls can't dig) and ending with a Lyft driver with no social graces or sense of personal spaces.
The most upsetting story to me was the one about the doctors who dismissed women's opinions about their own bodies. One dismissed her grandmother's symptoms (which ended up being a heart-attack). Another gave her an unnecessary cervical biopsy, claiming her pap-smear was "irregular." The story about her roommate who refused to put on pants was both amusing and upsetting. The story about the predatory theater technician who kept getting hired and put into proximity with children filled me with incredulity and anger.
Chavisa Woods is an engaging writer. She knows how to tell a good story. She is brave, even though she shouldn't have to be, and strong in a way that she shouldn't need to be. Her story made me wonder how many woman have been forced to don similar suits of armor just to go out and engage in the world. They made me remember similar threatening incidents when I worked in the city, when I was alone and a man confronted me and all my thoughts began to turn to how I could safely get away. They made me think about how it's a surprise and a relief when these interactions are benign, and how I have been trained by society to immediately be on guard and suspicious by default.
This is one of those books that everyone should read. I couldn't put this down and read through it in a day. It's honestly shocking that it doesn't have more reviews than it does. I can't wait to read more of her work, because she is truly gifted with a compelling voice.
5 stars
January 22, 2021
I feel very conflicted about this one, and am pained to not be writing a more positive review. It’s a case of a book that I hugely admire and recommend for its intention, but which I found frustrating in its execution.
It chronicles, in a very matter-of-fact way, 100 examples of sexism that Woods has faced throughout her life, in an attempt to show just how pervasive it is within society. It’s exhausting and infuriating to bear witness to such a relentless string of harassment, abuse, assault, dismissal, intimidation, and condescension. I don’t underestimate for a moment how gratifying and powerful it will be for many women to see the reality of the injustice they face put to paper so clearly. Woods’ perspective as an openly queer woman, and her acknowledgment of the unique struggles faced by women of colour and transgender women, add some very welcome intersectionality.
On the other hand, the text is very repetitive. In terms of some of the anecdotes shared, this is deliberate; serving to show how monotonous and normalised misogyny has become. With regards to the simplistic prose, it’s a little harder to excuse, with the same phrasing used time and time again. This lack of light and shade, coupled with an almost regimented structure and tone, means some of its power is lost. There are also many examples in which Woods’ response to sexism is to immediately retaliate with physical violence: punching people, pushing them to the ground, spitting in their face, repeatedly striking them on the head, etc. I want to be clear that self-defence against threat or violence is a totally different matter, but generally speaking, I’m not a massive fan of combating problematic behaviour with further problematic behaviour. The ‘angry feminist’ trope is already used by those who seek to dismiss the validity of the movement; I couldn’t help but worry this book will fuel their misguided argument.
So, while I didn’t gel with the way she chose to deliver her message, the core point that Woods sets out to make is an important one, and I respect her frank refusal to accept inequality. There are definitely stylistic and personal preferences affecting my response, so I don’t doubt others will connect with it more than I did.
It chronicles, in a very matter-of-fact way, 100 examples of sexism that Woods has faced throughout her life, in an attempt to show just how pervasive it is within society. It’s exhausting and infuriating to bear witness to such a relentless string of harassment, abuse, assault, dismissal, intimidation, and condescension. I don’t underestimate for a moment how gratifying and powerful it will be for many women to see the reality of the injustice they face put to paper so clearly. Woods’ perspective as an openly queer woman, and her acknowledgment of the unique struggles faced by women of colour and transgender women, add some very welcome intersectionality.
On the other hand, the text is very repetitive. In terms of some of the anecdotes shared, this is deliberate; serving to show how monotonous and normalised misogyny has become. With regards to the simplistic prose, it’s a little harder to excuse, with the same phrasing used time and time again. This lack of light and shade, coupled with an almost regimented structure and tone, means some of its power is lost. There are also many examples in which Woods’ response to sexism is to immediately retaliate with physical violence: punching people, pushing them to the ground, spitting in their face, repeatedly striking them on the head, etc. I want to be clear that self-defence against threat or violence is a totally different matter, but generally speaking, I’m not a massive fan of combating problematic behaviour with further problematic behaviour. The ‘angry feminist’ trope is already used by those who seek to dismiss the validity of the movement; I couldn’t help but worry this book will fuel their misguided argument.
So, while I didn’t gel with the way she chose to deliver her message, the core point that Woods sets out to make is an important one, and I respect her frank refusal to accept inequality. There are definitely stylistic and personal preferences affecting my response, so I don’t doubt others will connect with it more than I did.
November 26, 2020
Holy hell, this is absolutely my new favorite book. The emotion I felt when I read the first few pages... was disbelief. It was raw, unadulterated "this is made up" and "this didn't happen." And that's coming from someone who was AFAB, who had all of these same experiences! Of course it all happened! But if I - who went through it - can't believe it, then how can we expect men to believe it? I don't know.
I think it's denial. You read about all this violence, and the only way your brain can respond to it is denial. Because otherwise you have to feel it. You have to go through it with her. And that's painful, and the brain avoids pain. But truth is more valuable to me than comfort.
There is a lot of emphasis on physical violence - rape, assault, attacks. If I had to write my own memoir there would be (some of that, but also) a lot more structual violence. Being excluded for jobs because of my gender, or my weight (which wouldn't matter if I was a man). I wasn't surprised to read that Chavisa Woods grew up in the midwest. That would explain why her experience was a little different than mine. By the end of the book, though, she's writing about a lot more social and structural stuff, which kind of made me sad that the book was in chronological order. Some of the later stuff is extremely powerful, and I feel like a lot of male readers just won't even get that far. But I understand the aim. The earlier experiences informed how she experienced the later stuff.
The book ends on quite a funny note. It's so worth reading! Recommend!
Marked LGBTQ because the author is a lesbian.
I think it's denial. You read about all this violence, and the only way your brain can respond to it is denial. Because otherwise you have to feel it. You have to go through it with her. And that's painful, and the brain avoids pain. But truth is more valuable to me than comfort.
There is a lot of emphasis on physical violence - rape, assault, attacks. If I had to write my own memoir there would be (some of that, but also) a lot more structual violence. Being excluded for jobs because of my gender, or my weight (which wouldn't matter if I was a man). I wasn't surprised to read that Chavisa Woods grew up in the midwest. That would explain why her experience was a little different than mine. By the end of the book, though, she's writing about a lot more social and structural stuff, which kind of made me sad that the book was in chronological order. Some of the later stuff is extremely powerful, and I feel like a lot of male readers just won't even get that far. But I understand the aim. The earlier experiences informed how she experienced the later stuff.
The book ends on quite a funny note. It's so worth reading! Recommend!
Marked LGBTQ because the author is a lesbian.
November 17, 2019
I found this a fascinating tale of the author's experiences with sexual harassment. Although she has far worse experiences than most women, it rings true that most women have the same number as she had.
January 10, 2020
Took my time breezing through Chavisa Woods' memoir of almost a decade and a half of sexism, harassment, sexual harassment, and LGBTQ harassment she has experienced, capturing each story in sharply detailed bite-sized chunks.
November 28, 2019
Every male needs to read this and realize they are wrong.
Read
May 28, 2020A good cross-section of many variations on the theme that thousands have endured.
August 8, 2020
Absolutely phenomenal.
August 21, 2020
Audible
September 13, 2020
Read this in less than 24 hours. Relentless and true.
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