The History of Living Forever

by Jake Wolff

A chemistry student falls for his teacher and uncovers a centuries-old quest for the Elixir of Life

Conrad Aybinder is a boy with a secret; sixteen and ready for anything. A chemistry genius, he has spent the summer on an independent-study project with his favorite teacher, Sammy Tampari. Sammy is also Conrad’s first love. But the first day of senior year, the students are informed that Mr. Tampari is dead. Rumors suggest an overdose. How can it be? Drugs are for unhappy people, Conrad is sure, not for people who have fallen in love.

Soon, though, it is clear that Sammy had a life hidden even from Conrad, evidenced by the journals he left for Conrad to discover after his death. The journals detail twenty years of research aimed at creating recipes for something called the Elixir of Life. Sammy has left Conrad a mystery and a scientific puzzle, but also, it seems, the chance to cure his father’s terminal illness. Conrad must race against time and other interested parties to uncover the missing piece of the recipe. What will he do to discover the formula?

Spanning centuries of scientific and alchemical inquiry, ranging from New York to Romania to Easter Island, featuring drug kingpins, Big Pharma flunkies, centenarians, and a group of ambitious coin collectors, Jake Wolff’s The History of Living Forever is equal parts thrilling adventure and meditation on mortality, thoughtful investigation of mental illness, and a reminder to be on the lookout for magic in science and life.

Genres: Fiction, LGBT, Science Fiction, Queer, Gay, Contemporary, Fantasy

362 pages, Hardcover

First published June 11, 2019

Reviews

[luce (cry bebè's back from hiatus) · Rating 4 out of 5]

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3.75 stars (rounded up to 4 as this is a debut)

The History of Living Forever is an ambitious novel. The narrative includes multiple timelines and often switches between 1st and 3rd perspective, weaving together a compelling yet intricate story. Two of the central figures in these various 'timelines' are Conrad Aybinder and Sammy Tampari who in spite of their student-teacher relationship, and of Conrad being underage, become involved romantically. Their "liaison" however is soon cut short by Sammy's death. A grief-struck Conrad finds himself entangled in what was Sammy's search for immortality. Through Sammy's diary entries he discovers that for years Sammy had been using himself as a guinea pig. Had Sammy lost his mind? Or was he really onto something?
With this fascinating premise The History of Living Forever details Sammy and Conrad lives, moving from their childhoods to their adulthoods. They are highly intelligent individuals who are feel somewhat isolated by their intellect (both of them are high-school seniors at the age of 16), I like the fact that the narrative never romanticises their worst actions or behaviours and that other characters call them out on their 'bad antics'. I also enjoyed the way the characters around them were rendered. Wherever they had an important role or not they were engaging and realistic. I was particularly affected by the parents and relatives in this story. While Conrad's dad is an alcoholic and could have easily been relegated to the role of 'bad dad' the narrative offers a nuanced portrayal of him and his addiction.
The plot was in constant movement, shifting from past to present, jumping from one theory to the other. We learn what drives Sammy's quest for immortality and see that at the age of 40 Conrad still thinks of him.
At times I was overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of information we were given. Don't get me wrong, it was all fascinating, but science and maths are not my fortes so I think (okay, I know) that many things that went over my head. Nevertheless, I was captivated by this story which is a story about science, love, obsession, and immortality. Immortality makes for an intriguing topic, one that Wolff skilfully explores. Part of me wishes that we could have had more of Conrad and less of Sammy, or that at least we could have known what Sammy felt for Conrad.
Overall, I think this is an incredibly creative novel, one that bridges genre (coming of age, mystery, adventure, speculative fiction). While I wish that some of the characters' arcs had been handled differently, I am looking forward to reading this again (and perhaps I will have a better grasp of the theories discussed).

[Olive Fellows (abookolive)]

I'm not hating this one or anything, but I'm over halfway through and it's just not interesting me enough. I caught myself talking myself into picking it up again just for the sake of checking it off of my TBR after a period of avoiding reading altogether since I wasn't excited to come back to this book. It's putting me in a bad place with my reading, so I'm going to abandon it. Whether I come back to it at a later date is Future Olive's problem.

[Erin]

Yet another giveaway win!!!

[Anmiryam · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a moving and compelling read. You feel for both Conrad and Sam even as you are appalled by their choices. The melding of alchemy and science feels well done and believable. Like the characters you will start this book looking for certainty, but revel in the beautiful ambiguities of life by the time all is said and done.

[Robert Sheard · Rating 3 out of 5]

The opening 50 pages and the closing 50 pages of this one are really good, but I don’t think the middle lives up to that level. There are a number of story lines, which is fine, but jumping back and forth among them was chaotic and jarring and made the entire narrative a bit less cohesive for me. It’s a fascinating premise, though.

[Max · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book started off strong with a unique premise and interesting narrative style--I liked the varying story lines, narrators, and formats for expressing the varying threads.

However, it felt like the goal of the story was more ambitious than the book was able to live up to. The book begins from Conrad's POV and ends with it, but because we spend so much time reading from Sam's POV (whether because it's a journal entry in first person or narration of the past in third person) the thread of the story that Conrad is telling loses its momentum. None of Sam's relationships felt that they conveyed any emotional depth on the page--especially his relationship with Catherine, but also Sadiq--which meant that about two thirds of the way through the book, when most of the drama is wrapped up in those relationships, it gets very tedious.

The elixer of life, and the drive to find the ingredients, is the thread that holds all the different parts of the story together but it's not enough. I skimmed the last quarter of the book just to get to the end. I could have done without any of the story that occurs in the past. I think the book would have been more emotionally compelling had it stuck with the present and not gotten sidetracked into Sam's past after he had already died because in the end, he wasn't present for the story and it was hard to care.

Sidenote: I was uncomfortable from the start with the teacher-student relationship that the narrator handwaves away, essentially. It's a problem in general--dramatic risky elements of the story that never really get fully addressed for the reader.

[Elissa Sweet · Rating 4 out of 5]

The History of Living Forever is a fresh, heartbreaking book about young love, mental illness, family and, yes, the search for the elixir of life. At the beginning of the book, 16-year-old Conrad's boyfriend Sammy—who is also his high school chemistry teacher—has just died of an apparent suicide, leaving Conrad with a box of his old journals and an unfinished recipe for the elixir of life. As Conrad sifts through the layers of mystery that composed Sammy's life, he becomes caught up in the same search that consumed Sammy: the possibility that an elixir for immortality does, in fact, exist. This book is a sweet and vulnerable look at love and growing up, a mystery that hops across continents, and a meditation on immortality and what it means for humans, but most of all, it's a thoroughly enjoyable read that kept me enchanted from beginning to end.

[Shelby · Rating 5 out of 5]

✨I won this on Goodreads, and all I can say is THIS BOOK.
I don’t know how Jake Wolff managed to fill a book with science and all the feels and keep me so entranced. I have consciously been avoiding feelings for a while now, & failed science, so...

Synopsis can easily be found anywhere, so I’ll just give you my general lowdown.

The way this is written is woven between 3 views: the POV of the present day, told through the eyes of 16 yr old Conrad, a jaded, troubled boy who returns to school to discover he’s just lost someone: his Science teacher/first love (yeah... it’s what you’re thinking. Summer was full of inappropriate behavior.)
Mr. Tampari. (Sammy)
Sammy has left Conrad all of his journals, which sets him off of a desperate quest for answers/closure and you can’t help but feel heartbroken for this kid.

The 2nd view is the life of Sammy, told through his journal entries. You’d think it’d be easy to dislike him for his role in Conrad’s life, but somehow that thing between them becomes a side note to a much deeper story. Sammy has spent his entire life trying to find the formula for the Elixir Of Life. His entries are so heartbreaking and raw. He wages a war against his mental illness throughout, and having done the same, I felt such empathy for his struggles.
Sammy is deeply flawed; his story is full of selfish decisions, wrong decisions, mistakes, heartbreak, times of probably absolute craziness, but also the eternal quest to find the way to FIX it all. To prevent the pain. To avoid the hurt.

The 3rd view is one of my favorites. Stories woven throughout random chapters with historical characters, all doing some sort of experiment or scientific observation with the same goal in mind: to either find the formula or prevent the pain. Oftentimes they are quite amusing or touching.

Jake Wolff has a special gift in that his writing is witty, sarcastic, touching, and somehow makes you feel like you’ve just actually learned something without realizing it. (Did I just get smarter?? 😆)

I’m SO happy I won this book! It’s a guarantee that I wouldn’t have picked it up, because—again—I avoid anything I suspect might give me a twinge of the feels, but DAMNIT if Jake Wolff didn’t soften me up just a little. Please write more, Mr. Wolff. I need to become human again. Maybe your writing is my elixir of life. 😉

[Leah Spitale · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved loved loved this book. Although the plot included science and a lot of immortality talk (which didn’t interest me in the least bit) I decided to give it shot. I can’t resist an unreliable narrator and I feel that Sammy may just be the best one I’ve met in awhile. Although you are appalled by his recent choices, you can’t help but feel for him. Anyone who has ever suffered from depression can tell you that Sammy’s thoughts and feelings are spot on. It’s impossible to not feel his pain. I found myself reading several passages over and over again. There are many beautiful ones to pick from. I was so impressed by this book and I’m basically shouting it’s praises from the rooftops. I cannot wait to see what this Author writes next.

[Nina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like a whole box of chocolates at once: some of them strange, some of them sweet, all of them irresistible.

[Paul · Rating 1 out of 5]

"The History of Living Forever" makes a case for intellectual property theft, not because such an act of piracy is an element of the convoluted plot, but because an act of piracy might have allowed Richard Powers to steal this idea from Jake Wolff and write a masterpiece, not a pretentious mess. I downloaded "The History of Living Forever" because it's been nominated for a Best First Novel prize (which makes me fear for the future of fiction), and because I'd read a synopsis and wondered how the author would handle one of the main characters -- a high school teacher who starts an affair with a student -- whom most readers would be predisposed to hate. Mr. Wolff's solution, which is to make all the characters almost as obnoxious, might have worked if he didn't write like an author of Kindle Unlimited gay teen fiction. Doorbells echo in empty houses. Lips tremble. Bare legs wrap around waists as lovemaking commences. (Yep, "making love" is Mr. Wolff's preferred euphemism for sex. I don't need the F word, but seriously, one bonk might have saved the book.) The "Living Forever" of the title refers to alchemists' search for an "elixir of life" which grants immortality, the recipe for which seems to involve, at various stages, mercury and cocaine. (See what I mean about Richard Powers? If he were writing about this subject, his philosophical digressions alone would have shorlisted him for a Pulitzer.) The chemistry teacher who "makes love to" (now I'm using it as a euphemism for "molests") a 16-year-old student has wasted much of his life in pursuit of this grail, then kills himself, saddling his toyboy with the quest. Wow, what a hero, huh? Unfortunately, his victim, Conrad, is no prize, either, spending so much of the book feeling sorry for himself that the reader can't be bothered. Mr. Wolff tries to make Conrad more sympathetic by heaping tragedy after tragedy (after tragedy) upon the kid, which worked only to the point of making me feel slightly guilty for wanting to slap him so often. Mr. Wolff, if you're trying to prove that damaged people don't always make great decisions . . . that is not exactly a revelation. (And anyway, you lost me with one of the context-free historical digressions, the one about the Chinese healer practicing his art in "330 A.D." Wow, didn't know China had adopted the Western calendar that long ago.)

[Mobeme53 Branson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not for me

A supremely strange book. A 16 year old boy who's used sexualy by a much older man who later commits suicide. I almost stopped right there. It goes on to explain that the boy didn't see it as abuse that he was in love. I couldn't get over that this narrative feeds into every pedophile's fantasy that somehow the child "wants it." The rest is the story of how the boy goes in search of the elixir of life; a cure-all formula for illness and sickness. To me this went on way too long and becomes more and more like a bad nightmare. I suppose that some would appreciate the solid writing but not me.

[Matthew · Rating 2 out of 5]

While this book is well conceived and has some really nice writing on the front end, it quickly becomes didactic and uninspired. Character development and any sort emotionally driven narrative is sacrificed for pretentious exposition. By the last third of the book I’d lost interest in characters and found myself skimming my way to the inconsequential and trite ending. It’s clear Jake Wolff has talent but this ain’t it, chief.

[Tori Tucker · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't get past the pedophilia. Was a dnf for me.

[Celia Buell (semi hiatus) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, this is definitely a book I have read, and to say a book unlike any other wouldn't be too far of a stretch.

I didn't enjoy this. I was compelled by it, but I couldn't stand it. The characters were terrible. It was pulling me in while pushing me away. It was bad. It was good. It was too scientific, and at the same time not realistic enough. It was thrilling and boring. It was a story of pulling people closer and of pushing people away. In short, The History of Living Forever was a book of contradictions.

I just texted the two friends I most like talking about books with. I'd love it if they wanted to read it, because this is the first book I really don't feel like I can form my own opinion on.

It was interesting. It was all over the place. I do wonder what it would have been like if it was published just a year later, through a COVID lens. It's so worldly, and yet it can't exist outside itself. It's fascinating and horrible and I never want to look at it again. It's intriguing and compelling I want to spend time talking about it with anyone who would read it going in with only what exists on the Goodreads blurb. It is everything and nothing all at once.

There's one thing I'm sure about: this book should be read at least once, by as many people as can get their hands on it.

I plan to weed this, but first, I hope to put it in the hands of my friends with no information but the power of suggestion.

[Peter · Rating 3 out of 5]

I devoured the first fifty pages, which are wonderfully written and addictive. The book the began to go down more and more convoluted plot rabbit holes, though, some of which I found more interesting than others. I found the narrator engaging and believable, so when he disappeared for long stretches I grew impatient.

I love reading first novels, though, especially ambitious ones that try to tackle The Modern World and Big Questions, so if you can put up with some dull bits, this is worth checking out. And I will definitely read what Wolff does next.

[Mindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

**SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD**

Every once in awhile, a story comes along that simply captures your soul. The History of Living, by Jake Wolff, is one of those stories.

Taking the reader through a deluge of different voices, but primarily focused on the lives of Conrad and Sammy, Wolff showcases the worldwide, perpetual desire for the discovery of the elixir of life. Some are after it for selfish, money-hungry reasons, some are simply looking for a way to get high, but one thing is for certain- Conrad is obsessed with it to save his father.

Sammy's obsession with the elixir of life is the only thing that he can find purpose in through the darkness he feels in his everyday life, and perhaps it is this, that propels him to bring all the characters together to discover what is truly important in life. Perhaps the elixir doesn't truly work- we may never know- but is that really the point of this journey to its discovery? Life is more about the road on which it's traveled- not the destination.

The writing is brilliant and even though Conrad may never know if his and Sammy's efforts were successful, I don't find myself disappointed or unsatisfied. Even without knowing the prognosis of Conrad's husband and his brain surgery, I am left feeling full at the end. Because again...it's not about the destination. It's about the journey we create.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I found this book to be a good read there was just something about the story that I personally found unfulfilling. The premise was fresh and interesting but I feel like maybe each of the personal stories contained within were not explored enough to completely satisfy me as a reader.

That being said I would totally recommend this as a read. The search for the perfect elixir recipe was a wild ride and I enjoyed reading Sammy's story more than Conrad's to be honest. Would have loved to have read more about Bogdi and Livia and their movement, this was an undeveloped plot point I felt. How did they work on their theories? How did they get all of these ingredients?

I give this book 4/5 sparklers of Dor.

My copy was provided by NetGalley but my opinions are my own.

[Erik · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jake Wolff's "The History of Living Forever" is a creative, thought-provoking taken on the allures and tragedies of life.

Conrad, a teenager in Maine who recently lost his mother in a drunk driving accident, finds himself alone in the world when he falls in love with Sam Tarpian, his teacher. Little does he know, Mr. Tarpian, beyond being his lover, has spent his whole life piecing together the mysteries of an elixir that could allow someone to live forever. When Mr. Tarpian dies he leaves behind a chain of events, entrusting Conrad to solve the mystery of the elixir, solve the mystery of his life, and ultimately decide if living forever - or only for now - is the best way to live.

On its face, "The History of Living Forever" is an interesting book - chocked full of science and fantasy but also real, living humanity. But the book never gets you further than surface level questions; this book had the capability to potentially make readers think deeply about love and mortality, but the writing just didn't go there. And other parts of the book just seemed unnecessary: I still don't understand why a teacher-(minor)student relationship was needed for the storyline? Rather than normalize this, Wolff could have made the characters older and still had the same result.

A fine book to pass the time, but nothing to write home about. If you see "The History of Living Forever" at your library, check it out.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

The easiest way to describe The History of Living Forever is to say it's complicated, which is also kind of how I feel about it. The book is revolves primarily around Sammy, and Conrad, a student of Sammy's that he was having an affair with before he died. In some ways it's hard to get past the ick factor of a teacher having an affair with a student but the book is so fascinating that I almost have to store it in the back of my mind and forget about it. In addition to having an affair with a student, Sammy is just...off. It's hard to know if it's just his genetic make-up, his environment growing up or his experiments with quicksilver but he both struggles and floats through life, attracting people along the way that are compelled to be around him even when he treats them cruelly, dismissively or distractedly. When he dies, he leaves his search for everlasting life in Conrad's hands. Conrad, loving Sammy and losing his father to disease, can't help but continue Sammy's research. Along the way, he learns - about Sammy, himself, and about the people that meant something to Sammy during his life. This book delves into the science of the human body to find the elixir of life, but it also delves into who we are as people, our decision-making and how that impacts the people who touch our lives.

[Bethany Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book, but I couldn't get past the relationship of the underage boy with his professor.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t even know where to start with this review. So much went on and it was absolutely banana-pants. The historical anecdotes and recipes for the elixir were really interesting but also kind of sad. So many people died in such horrific ways just for the chance to live a longer than normal lifespan or to cure their diseases. This is only one of the shocking elements in this book which is really Sam and Conrad’s story. Conrad was a teenage student and Sam was his teacher but their “love” story is a big part of this book. It’s hard not to be uncomfortable with their relationship. This whole book was uncomfortable but so darn compelling.

This was a very unique story and unlike anything I have ever read. The writing is really well done and Conrad especially was very humorous. I was laughing within the first few pages and this light tone drew me right in. The book deals with serious issues like mental and physical illness but the humour alleviates the difficult and often sad content. It really is epic in scope and it isn’t a book I will ever forget. I will never hear “quicksilver” “mercury” or “elixir of life” without thinking of Sam and Conrad and their insane recipes.

It shocked me that all of the recipes included mercury. The explanation for this in the book made sense but I can’t imagine what would make me ever drink the stuff! When I was in high school a student dropped an old-time thermometer and the mercury ran out onto the floor. The school was evacuated and there were no classes the next day either as a hazmat clean-up team was called in. All this for one thermometer full! Sam and Conrad had gallons of the stuff just sitting in the house and it blew my mind! I know that people with terminal illnesses get desperate and I guess they have nothing to lose but holy crow this is scary!

This grand adventure in fringe medicine was hilarious, appalling, and shocking in all the best ways. I loved every minute I spent with these elixir seekers, even when it was uncomfortable and hard. I would recommend this book to anyone who loves weird medical stuff, explorations in science, or just shaking their head at the foibles of others (I love a good schadenfreude.)

Thank you to Farrar, Straus and Giroux for providing an Electronic Advance Reader Copy via NetGalley for review.

[Megan Collins]

THE HISTORY OF LIVING FOREVER is a unique, deeply imaginative book that explores timeless themes of grief, love, and obsession through a fresh—and scientific—lens. On the same day sixteen-year-old Conrad learns that his Chemistry teacher, Sammy (who is also Conrad’s first love), has died, he receives a box of Sammy’s journals that outline the teacher’s recipes and quest for an “elixir of life.” As Conrad navigates his grief and confusion over Sammy’s death, he decides to continue Sammy’s search, in the hopes of curing his own father of a disease hellbent on killing him. Enlisting the help of his friend RJ and people from Sammy’s past, who he learns of through the journals, Conrad becomes as deeply entrenched in the obsession for the elixir as his teacher was—but he soon learns he’s not the only one on the hunt for it. To be honest, I don’t think this book is for everyone. There are a lot of chapters that take you out of the main story to narrate other historical instances of the search for the elixir, and a lot of it gets really deep in the weeds of science. But for some readers, that will also be the book’s biggest strengths. I personally enjoy when books have a lot to do with math or science, since that’s so far from my own world, and though I got a little distracted trying so hard to *understand* the science (whether it was real or not), you don’t actually need to comprehend it to follow the heart of the story. And that heart is a teenage boy aching from love and loss, desperate not to lose anyone else in his life. Jake Wolff is a beautiful, witty writer who expertly balances the somber, serious tone of the book with the perfect amount of humor and light. I simply cannot imagine the amount of research and plotting that went into creating a book like this, and I’m in awe of how Wolff brought it all together into a story that’s ultimately very moving and hopeful.

[Aaron Marsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Compulsive readability is a trait both overrated (by the airport-buyers, the Christmas + Easter patrons of literature) and grossly underrated (by the rest of us pretentious Pulitzer chasers) all at once. Jake Wolff has crafted a very fleet, very readable novel in The History of Living, one that had me pondering the value of those traits. Because the book definitely is too melodramatic, scattered as all hell + jam packed with too many characters, and it contains several key plot points that are incredibly hard to take seriously. But still I burned through it in a gleeful weekend, and after the arduous month I spent slogging through Swamplandia!, I really fucking appreciate how much fun I had with this book. Sometimes it’s just that simple.

The book also dealt with queer coming of age themes in a very interesting way that certainly skirted the edge of danger, and I thought it was a remarkably clear-eyed depiction of how a relationship that we (rightly; mostly) think of as predatory — teacher/student in this case — can feel like so much MORE to the younger participant, and how the ways in which that sort of ‘relationship’ (no matter how wrong it is) can change you at that age are not always for the worse. Sensitive material expertly handled. I wish I could say the same for the zillions of tragedies that befall every single character. So and so’s father has a rare liver disease masquerading as alcoholic despair; the best friend’s sister’s muscles are dissolving; a future husband has brain cancer. It’s all QUITE A LOT. I wish he had eased up on the gas re: all that, because he short changes the characters by doing this; the familiarity of excess numbs us to their many pains.

But still, I did greatly enjoy the ripping adventure of this novel, the juggling of all the timelines and all the POVs, and the sheer inventiveness he wields like an erupting sparkler throughout. Thanks for a fun, wild weekend, Mr. Wolff!

(B)

[Barred Owl Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

A chemistry student falls for his teacher and uncovers a centuries-old quest for the elixir of life

The morning after the death of his first love, Conrad Aybinder receives a bequest. Sammy Tampari was Conrad’s lover. He was his teacher. And, it turns out, he was not just a chemist, but an alchemist, searching for a mythic elixir of life. Sammy’s death was sudden, yet he somehow managed to leave twenty years’ worth of his notebooks and a storage locker full of expensive, sometimes baffling equipment in the hands of his star student. The notebooks contain cryptic “recipes,” but no instructions; they tell his life story, but only hint at what might have caused his death. And Sammy’s research is littered with his favorite teaching question: What’s missing?

As Conrad pieces together the solution, he finds he is not the only one to suspect that Sammy succeeded in his quest. And if he wants to save his father from a mysterious illness, Conrad will have to make some very difficult choices.

A globe-trotting, century-spanning adventure story, Jake Wolff’s The History of Living Forever takes us from Maine to Romania to Easter Island and introduces a cast of unforgettable characters—drug kingpins, Big Pharma flunkies, centenarians, boy geniuses, and even a group of immortalists masquerading as coin collectors. It takes us deep into the mysteries of life—from first love to first heartbreak, from the long pall of grief to the irreconcilable loneliness of depression to the possibility of medical miracles, from coming of age to coming out. Hilarious, haunting, heart-busting, life-affirming, it asks each of us one of life’s essential questions: How far would you go for someone you love?

An Amazon Best Book of June 2019
An Indie Next Selection
A Publishers Weekly Book of the Week
A Best Book of June at Cosmopolitan
A Most Anticipated Book of June at The Millions
A Best Book of Summer 2019 at Entertainment Weekly and Buzzfeed

"[In The History of Living Forever,] the mystical and the romantic combine for a love story that also confronts the meaning of life."
―Seija Rankin, Entertainment Weekly

[Christopher McDonald · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars, but I'll round up. Oh man, I REALLY wanted to love this book. It's right up my alley. I've always been fascinated with life-longevity and the stories surrounding the topic, whether it's non-fiction or fiction, sci-fi or drama, etc. I became obsessed with prolonging life after my mom passed away over a decade ago. It's something I mulled over for a long time, but therapy and time and the natural stages of grief helped me to realize and remember death is as natural as breathing.

So yeah, this book was already set-up for success before I even turned the first page. But it failed to meet my expectations. It feels all over the place; the narrative, the characters, everything. In the acknowledgements, I discovered Jake finished this book after ten years of writing it. It makes so much sense, because that's what it feels like -- drawn out and scattered. The story could have been tighter & shorter and the characters could have been spared from bleeding together. I often found myself trying to remember whose story belonged to who.

I will say Jake is a great writer. 100%! That is not lost on me. This story, however, just wasn't for me.

[Kim McGee · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is more a coming-of-age story about sexual identity and love than anything paranormal as the title suggests. 16-year-old Conrad falls head over heels with high school chemistry teacher Sammy. Sammy, like Conrad's emotionally distant dad, is fascinated with numbers and alchemy specifically the elixir of life. When Sammy later comes to a bad end either at his own doing or from his test trials, he leaves Con his notebooks on the elixir. Many are eager to retrieve this information however and it will create a dangerous situation but could help Con save the other men in his life the way he wasn't able to save Sammy. Quiet and introspective but also a dangerous quest these quirky characters will dig into your soul. My thanks to the publisher for the advance copy.

[Christopher Berry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was picked for discussion with our book club, and it was perfect! I really enjoyed this one for sure! The characters were engaging. The story was very interesting! The author did an amazing job with everything! The reader is going to become engrossed in this awesome book, and they might learn some scientific facts along the way!

[Bryan Fox · Rating 5 out of 5]

A big, bold, ambitious, emotive first novel that defies easy categorization - it's part love story, part chemistry experiment, part forensics investigation, part family drama, part reflection on grief. At times, it threatens to collapse under the weight of its breadth, but for me, any novel that can leave you wiping your eyes a bit at the end has to be seen as a successful work of fiction.

[Jordan B · Rating 3 out of 5]

When it's good, it's very good but for the most part I was quite bored