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Flushed
You’ve had a bad day before. We all have.
But Marty is in a whole other level of shit.
Literally.
Following a drunken night of sex with the office secretary, Marty’s guts are rebelling after his personal hangover remedy, nachos with jalapenos and hot sauce.
Marty has to go. And he’s got to get across the office to do so. Standing in his way are Nikki, the secretary from the night prior, Brad, the vape enthusiast douche, and possibly even his boss. The office door is always open, after all.
Join Marty on his trek, like a vulgar Lord of the Rings. The distance may be shorter, but the stakes are just as high.
But Marty is in a whole other level of shit.
Literally.
Following a drunken night of sex with the office secretary, Marty’s guts are rebelling after his personal hangover remedy, nachos with jalapenos and hot sauce.
Marty has to go. And he’s got to get across the office to do so. Standing in his way are Nikki, the secretary from the night prior, Brad, the vape enthusiast douche, and possibly even his boss. The office door is always open, after all.
Join Marty on his trek, like a vulgar Lord of the Rings. The distance may be shorter, but the stakes are just as high.
- GenresHorror
21 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 24, 2018
About the author
Chris Miller
51 books171 followersChris Miller is a native Texan who has been writing from an early age. He began publishing in 2017 with his first novel, A Murder of Saints, and since then he has published several novels—including the Amazon bestselling Splatter Western, Dust—and has also been inducted into many anthologies. When not writing, Chris enjoys playing guitar, watching movies, and reading. He is first and foremost a family man and is happily married to the love of his life (and best friend) Aliana. They have three beautiful children and live in Winnsboro, TX.
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
February 13, 2019
This short story had me laughing from beginning to end. It deals with this situation we’ve all been in before with excellent humor. Absolutely hilarious.
July 28, 2019
Disgusting. Vile. Repulsive. Completely unnecessary. In poor taste. And really fucking funny! We all need a good laugh, and this does the job. Not for the feint of stomach.
October 14, 2020
Oh my gosh. I have never laughed and been kinda grossed out by an audible so much in my life!! This book is too much. I was waking home and listening and some guy in a car slowed down to check on me!! Thanks for the laughs and I will be looking for more from Chris Miller.
December 13, 2020
Fitting that I read this in 2020. A tale of the ages!!
January 5, 2020
The apocalypse of the sphincter...
Flushed by Chris Miller and narrated by S.W. Salzman is one hilarious short story. Recommend if you can handle adult language in a story we’ve all experienced at some point in our lives (and if you haven’t, your time will come…😈).
What’s it about? Marty regrets his food and one night stand choices from the night before. He and his coworkers suffer as a result.
The narrator, S.W. Salzman, did a brilliant job. Loved the e-cig sound effect (perfect).
“I stand there, rectum locked.”
Parental guidance/trigger warnings: swearing (a decent amount), talk about sex and drinking resulting in a one night stand with a coworker, “fat chick” and “fat b**ch” used once, maybe twice.
*I was given a free review copy of the audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. Thank you for allowing me to listen and review the book!
Flushed by Chris Miller and narrated by S.W. Salzman is one hilarious short story. Recommend if you can handle adult language in a story we’ve all experienced at some point in our lives (and if you haven’t, your time will come…😈).
What’s it about? Marty regrets his food and one night stand choices from the night before. He and his coworkers suffer as a result.
The narrator, S.W. Salzman, did a brilliant job. Loved the e-cig sound effect (perfect).
“I stand there, rectum locked.”
Parental guidance/trigger warnings: swearing (a decent amount), talk about sex and drinking resulting in a one night stand with a coworker, “fat chick” and “fat b**ch” used once, maybe twice.
*I was given a free review copy of the audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. Thank you for allowing me to listen and review the book!
August 22, 2021
Chris Miller's Flushed is short. I'd go so far as to suggest the value of giving this story a listen is inversely proportional to the size of the tale.
What we have here is an uncomfortably--horrifyingly--relatable story of one of those times when we absolutely know our bowels are going to fail us in the worst possible way, at the most calamitous conceivable location, when the timing couldn't be worse. While we all may not be able to relate to a drunken workplace hook-up with someone we'd sooner have avoided, I think we can all imagine how such a thing might happen.
Miller tells an entertaining tale, increasingly implausible as Murphy's Law takes a cruel toll on Marty.
The narration provided by S. W. Salzman brings the extreme discomfort and humiliation to life.
What we have here is an uncomfortably--horrifyingly--relatable story of one of those times when we absolutely know our bowels are going to fail us in the worst possible way, at the most calamitous conceivable location, when the timing couldn't be worse. While we all may not be able to relate to a drunken workplace hook-up with someone we'd sooner have avoided, I think we can all imagine how such a thing might happen.
Miller tells an entertaining tale, increasingly implausible as Murphy's Law takes a cruel toll on Marty.
The narration provided by S. W. Salzman brings the extreme discomfort and humiliation to life.
December 13, 2021
OMG! This short had me cracking up! The subject matter is gross, but Miller did an excellent job getting the urgency of Marty’s dilemma across. I felt so bad for the guy at the beginning, and it only gets worse! The audiobook makes this even better! 🤣
March 6, 2020
Can’t go wrong with toilet humor. Vile, offensive, this story has it all. My only regret is that Brad never got throat-punched.
December 9, 2019
Flushed by Chris Miller
Have you ever done a night on the town and regretted it the next day? Flushed is a hilarious story of just that. The story is a novelette that goes into full detail regarding the repercusions of the actions from the night before. Chris Miller makes it easy to relate the personalities of any workplace align with the characters. The descriptors Miller uses are so animated that you feel like you are there with the character. That's not so much a good thing at times in this story, lol. If you are sqeamish or repulsed by bodily functions, this story is not for you. Although the subject is not something we normally talk about casually, I found it to be extremely comical and entertaining.
Have you ever done a night on the town and regretted it the next day? Flushed is a hilarious story of just that. The story is a novelette that goes into full detail regarding the repercusions of the actions from the night before. Chris Miller makes it easy to relate the personalities of any workplace align with the characters. The descriptors Miller uses are so animated that you feel like you are there with the character. That's not so much a good thing at times in this story, lol. If you are sqeamish or repulsed by bodily functions, this story is not for you. Although the subject is not something we normally talk about casually, I found it to be extremely comical and entertaining.
January 8, 2020
I received this book for free. I am voluntarily posting this review and all opinions expressed herein are my own.
If you enjoy bathroom humor - this story is for you. I totally empathized with the main character as he tried to get to the bathroom and then the events in the bathroom but I was laughing out loud the whole time. The characters in the workplace - from the boss to the secretary to the colleagues - were picture perfect. I am still chuckling thinking about the story.
The narrator, S.W. Salzman, was great. He perfectly conveyed the angst in getting to the bathroom and events which followed. Really great!
If you enjoy bathroom humor - this story is for you. I totally empathized with the main character as he tried to get to the bathroom and then the events in the bathroom but I was laughing out loud the whole time. The characters in the workplace - from the boss to the secretary to the colleagues - were picture perfect. I am still chuckling thinking about the story.
The narrator, S.W. Salzman, was great. He perfectly conveyed the angst in getting to the bathroom and events which followed. Really great!
March 5, 2020
Ever had one of those days? You know, the crappy ones? I mean, REALLY crappy? Well Chris Miller has written a quick story about our worst nightmare. The one where you have to go to the bathroom worse than any other time in your life...we’ve all been there. Mr. Miller has a keen sense of humor, and if I’m right, there’s more than a little bit of autobiography in this hilarious short. Our narrator starts by simply trying to get to the bathroom and ends in a very (hysterical) horrible situation. Do yourself a favor and pick this story up. I listened to the Audible recording and absolutely loved it.
January 13, 2020
If you can’t relate to this your doing life wrong
Excellent narration from s.w. Salzman as always
Hilarious and highly recommended
I received a free review audiobook and voluntarily left this review
Excellent narration from s.w. Salzman as always
Hilarious and highly recommended
I received a free review audiobook and voluntarily left this review
April 5, 2019
This story is hilarious from beginning to end. I can't remember when I laughed so hard at a book. And the end...oh sh!t...literally. I'm still laughing.
January 8, 2020
Loved Flushed and actually LOL more then a few times while listening to it. A nauseatingly hilarious short story worth reading / listening to.
January 28, 2020
Listened to this on my way to work and definitley had a good laugh. Such a short but funny story.
March 22, 2020
What a hilarious read of a horrific experience in a bathroom. I laughed through the whole short.
October 4, 2018
The author thrusts you into a second-hand embarrassing situation right from the beginning. I felt so sorry for the main character and yet, was dying laughing the whole time. If you want a good laugh, this short read will do it. I definitely recommend reading this and really, from what I can see, everything else this author puts out. Well done Chris!
July 12, 2020
Poor Marty is having the worst day of his life and it is all happening at work, a job he hasn't had very long at all. After eating his normal hang over cure of nachos, jalapenos, and hot sauce Marty needs a bathroom and fast. This is the story of Marty's epic journey across the office and all of the obstacles that are working as the dark force against him.
This is a crude but extremely hilarious book if you are ok with bathroom humor, it is a story that everyone can probably relate to at least some parts. If you happen to get the audio version narrated by S W Salzman than it really will have you rolling on the floor laughing, so be careful if your listening to this while driving. This is truly a funny book and I am glad I waited till now to listen to it, as I really needed funny right now.
This is a crude but extremely hilarious book if you are ok with bathroom humor, it is a story that everyone can probably relate to at least some parts. If you happen to get the audio version narrated by S W Salzman than it really will have you rolling on the floor laughing, so be careful if your listening to this while driving. This is truly a funny book and I am glad I waited till now to listen to it, as I really needed funny right now.
October 31, 2020
This story is flat-out disgusting. Just an onslaught of grotesquery. But...it's also a master class in writing. This story, which is about as far beneath pretentious literary fare as you can possibly find, features some of the finest, most effective writing I've ever read (or, in this case, listened to). After about 10 minutes of nonstop nastiness, I really wanted to stop listening. I did. But the writing kept me there because it was so amazingly well written. It also made me laugh out loud numerous times. And not the dumb insincere emoji-type lols we tack on to the end of sentences in chats and Facebok posts, but real belly-laughs. Chris Miller is a ridiculously talented writer. Bravo, Mr. Miller.
December 31, 2021
What a way to end the year! I picked this up as a freebie. I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would.
I would almost throw this in a horror genre, since we know exactly the horrible things that will happen and we're mentally trying to stop them as the story progresses. The main character is having a bad day that progressively gets worse and we all know how that goes.
I recommend this to a person with a strong stomach and a sense of humor.
I would almost throw this in a horror genre, since we know exactly the horrible things that will happen and we're mentally trying to stop them as the story progresses. The main character is having a bad day that progressively gets worse and we all know how that goes.
I recommend this to a person with a strong stomach and a sense of humor.
March 2, 2020
Ha! Funny. Disgusting but very human.
Edit 3/10: I bought a copy of the audiobook for a friend and here is his response: “There should be a warning label on that book, do not listen to while driving! Damn that was funny”
Edit 3/10: I bought a copy of the audiobook for a friend and here is his response: “There should be a warning label on that book, do not listen to while driving! Damn that was funny”
March 2, 2023
Probably one of my favorites of the year! The sheer terror and panic I felt while busting a gut (see what I did there) laughing will stay with me every time I need a restroom. A disgustingly hilarious but horrifying short read!
February 12, 2024
Shawn Salzman does an excellent job narrating! Love everything he does!
The story is funny and a series of unfortunate events turns into a catastrophe. Be prepared to laugh and be a bit grossed out!
The story is funny and a series of unfortunate events turns into a catastrophe. Be prepared to laugh and be a bit grossed out!
December 4, 2022
When you gotta go you gotta go! 😂
October 20, 2025
This is one of those stories that you should be ashamed to admit that you love, but you just can't help yourself! If you enjoy a gross tale, full of graphic descriptions of bodily emissions, you might just enjoy this one. I think that everyone can relate to a time when you just HAD to get to a bathroom before you humiliate yourself!
Marty is suffering from a hangover and regretting the night before that he spent with a co-worker. And, the nachos with jalapenos and extra hot sauce are threatening to make a vicious appearance if he doesn't get to the bathroom SOON!
Don't read/listen to this one in public...you will just embarrass yourself laughing! S.W. Salzman is one of my favorite narrators and he does his usual fantastic job with this one. Just make sure you are prepared for this one!
Marty is suffering from a hangover and regretting the night before that he spent with a co-worker. And, the nachos with jalapenos and extra hot sauce are threatening to make a vicious appearance if he doesn't get to the bathroom SOON!
Don't read/listen to this one in public...you will just embarrass yourself laughing! S.W. Salzman is one of my favorite narrators and he does his usual fantastic job with this one. Just make sure you are prepared for this one!
October 30, 2026
Chris Miller makes a bold claim in Flushed: that most career advice is outdated before it's even printed. I'd say it's about two-thirds convincing. The stories from real people who bounced between jobs felt honest, while the "five rules for success" bits felt like LinkedIn bait. Still, the chapter on negotiating got me thinking about how many times I've just taken the first offer. You won't agree with all of it, but it'll shake loose some assumptions you didn't know you had.
November 4, 2022
Quick, dirty and absolutely hilarious
This story is fast paced and starts you off right in the middle of everyone's worst nightmare. Our narrator is trying desperately not to shit his pants at work after having made many poor decisions prior to this point. And how many of us can honestly say we've never been at work, nursing a wicked hangover, praying we can make it to the bathroom on time, before something truly horrible is violently ejected from one end or the other of our body? Being a master of poor decisions myself, I could feel every clenched-muscle, sweat-laden moment of this tale. It's only funny because it's happening to someone else. Which makes it hilarious.
This story is fast paced and starts you off right in the middle of everyone's worst nightmare. Our narrator is trying desperately not to shit his pants at work after having made many poor decisions prior to this point. And how many of us can honestly say we've never been at work, nursing a wicked hangover, praying we can make it to the bathroom on time, before something truly horrible is violently ejected from one end or the other of our body? Being a master of poor decisions myself, I could feel every clenched-muscle, sweat-laden moment of this tale. It's only funny because it's happening to someone else. Which makes it hilarious.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews