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America Was Hard to Find
Ecuador, 1969: An American expatriate, Fay Fern, sits in the corner of a restaurant, she and her young son Wright turned away from the television where Vincent Kahn becomes the first man to walk on the moon.
Years earlier, Fay and Vincent meet at a pilots’ bar in the Mojave Desert. Both seemed poised for reinvention—the married test pilot, Vincent, as an astronaut; the spurned child of privilege, Fay, as an activist. Their casual affair ends quickly, but its consequences linger.
Though their lives split, their senses of purpose deepen in tandem, each becoming heroes to different sides of the political spectrum of the 1960s and 70s: Vincent an icon with no plan beyond the mission for which he has single-mindedly trained, Fay a leader of a violent leftist group whose anti-Vietnam actions make her one of the FBI’s most wanted. With her last public appearance, a demonstration that frames the Apollo program as a vehicle for distracting the American public from its country’s atrocities, Fay leaves Wright to contend with her legacy, his own growing apathy, and the misdeeds of both his mother and his country.
An immense, vivid reimagining of the Cold War era, America Was Hard to Find traces the fallout of the cultural revolution that divided the country and explores the meaning of individual lives in times of upheaval. It also confirms Kathleen Alcott’s reputation as a fearless and vital voice in fiction.
Years earlier, Fay and Vincent meet at a pilots’ bar in the Mojave Desert. Both seemed poised for reinvention—the married test pilot, Vincent, as an astronaut; the spurned child of privilege, Fay, as an activist. Their casual affair ends quickly, but its consequences linger.
Though their lives split, their senses of purpose deepen in tandem, each becoming heroes to different sides of the political spectrum of the 1960s and 70s: Vincent an icon with no plan beyond the mission for which he has single-mindedly trained, Fay a leader of a violent leftist group whose anti-Vietnam actions make her one of the FBI’s most wanted. With her last public appearance, a demonstration that frames the Apollo program as a vehicle for distracting the American public from its country’s atrocities, Fay leaves Wright to contend with her legacy, his own growing apathy, and the misdeeds of both his mother and his country.
An immense, vivid reimagining of the Cold War era, America Was Hard to Find traces the fallout of the cultural revolution that divided the country and explores the meaning of individual lives in times of upheaval. It also confirms Kathleen Alcott’s reputation as a fearless and vital voice in fiction.
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First published May 14, 2019
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About the author
Kathleen Alcott
13 books126 followersBorn in 1988 in Northern California, Kathleen Alcott is the author of the novels Infinite Home and The Dangers of Proximal Alphabets. Her short fiction, criticism, memoir, and food writing have appeared in outlets including The New York Times, The Guardian, The New Yorker Online, The Los Angeles Review of Books, ZYZZYVA, Tin House, The Bennington Review, and The Coffin Factory.
In 2017, her short story "Reputation Management" was shortlisted for the prestigious Sunday Times Short Story Award. Her short story "Saturation" was listed as notable by The Best American Short Fiction of 2014, and her most recent novel was a Kirkus Prize nominee.
She lives in New York City, where she has taught at Columbia University, The Center for Fiction and Catapult Fiction.
In 2017, her short story "Reputation Management" was shortlisted for the prestigious Sunday Times Short Story Award. Her short story "Saturation" was listed as notable by The Best American Short Fiction of 2014, and her most recent novel was a Kirkus Prize nominee.
She lives in New York City, where she has taught at Columbia University, The Center for Fiction and Catapult Fiction.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 90 reviews
August 30, 2019
This book! Oh my goodness. I will never understand why it did not get the publicity and marketing support it deserved. I will go back and read this author’s first and second books – her writing is that spectacular!
About the book… How timely was this novel? It was published on May 14, and the anniversary of the Apollo 11 Mission was July 20, 1969 – 50 years ago. One of the main characters is a fictitious NASA astronaut who took the first step on the moon. So, there’s that bit of timeliness.
But also, this book does an incredible job of capturing a nation’s unrest during a period of political uncertainty (during the Vietnam War, which coincided with the Space Race). There are plenty of interesting parallels that can be drawn between today’s America, with its air of uncertainty, its young people who feel lost and adrift and rebellious. And, yes, the novel has a young, defiant character whose life is connected to the astronaut’s. The third main character is her son, caught in the fray of his mother’s actions.
Even if you don’t consider yourself highly politically charged, this is worth a read. Because, at its heart, it is a book about people and relationships and the decisions we make as humans.
With a dense, rich style of literary writing that delivers the reader right into the hearts and minds of the characters, you will feel a part of their worlds. This is character-driven literary fiction at its best.
I like books that make me think. And this incredibly intelligent book did just that. This is a novel about outsiders finding their place in the world, in their country. And in large part, I felt the story begged a larger question: where do we draw the line between personality quirks and mental health disorders?
I read this on my iPad and have made several of the passages viewable, but also wanted to include a few samples of the delicious language in this book; metaphors and rich sensory descriptions abound:
This was the real misfortune of the people on earth, he thought: they had made their lives somewhere they had never really seen.
Gasping and coughing is a barbed pleasure, the idea his body might get rid of anything. Wouldn’t it be good to eliminate an organ, any of them, survive on less, be made of less.
Her way with people, drawing them out, was like those magician’s scarves, silky and effortless and a little bit evil.
As he turned to go she caught him leaving, and she threw him a look as though he were a chore too long postponed, some filth that had spread and changed.
His temperature had ranged about wildly, near shiver to near fever. In his rearview Wright ran a comb through his hair, an act so unfamiliar to him that he thought he looked like a cartoon doing it, a dog trying to pass as human. He walked the parking lot of the strip mall with the sort of panic that is quick and bright, all silvery angles of movement.
If you enjoy literary historical fiction, open-ended finishes, deeply drawn and flawed characters, this book will send you over the moon .
About the book… How timely was this novel? It was published on May 14, and the anniversary of the Apollo 11 Mission was July 20, 1969 – 50 years ago. One of the main characters is a fictitious NASA astronaut who took the first step on the moon. So, there’s that bit of timeliness.
But also, this book does an incredible job of capturing a nation’s unrest during a period of political uncertainty (during the Vietnam War, which coincided with the Space Race). There are plenty of interesting parallels that can be drawn between today’s America, with its air of uncertainty, its young people who feel lost and adrift and rebellious. And, yes, the novel has a young, defiant character whose life is connected to the astronaut’s. The third main character is her son, caught in the fray of his mother’s actions.
Even if you don’t consider yourself highly politically charged, this is worth a read. Because, at its heart, it is a book about people and relationships and the decisions we make as humans.
With a dense, rich style of literary writing that delivers the reader right into the hearts and minds of the characters, you will feel a part of their worlds. This is character-driven literary fiction at its best.
I like books that make me think. And this incredibly intelligent book did just that. This is a novel about outsiders finding their place in the world, in their country. And in large part, I felt the story begged a larger question: where do we draw the line between personality quirks and mental health disorders?
I read this on my iPad and have made several of the passages viewable, but also wanted to include a few samples of the delicious language in this book; metaphors and rich sensory descriptions abound:
This was the real misfortune of the people on earth, he thought: they had made their lives somewhere they had never really seen.
Gasping and coughing is a barbed pleasure, the idea his body might get rid of anything. Wouldn’t it be good to eliminate an organ, any of them, survive on less, be made of less.
Her way with people, drawing them out, was like those magician’s scarves, silky and effortless and a little bit evil.
As he turned to go she caught him leaving, and she threw him a look as though he were a chore too long postponed, some filth that had spread and changed.
His temperature had ranged about wildly, near shiver to near fever. In his rearview Wright ran a comb through his hair, an act so unfamiliar to him that he thought he looked like a cartoon doing it, a dog trying to pass as human. He walked the parking lot of the strip mall with the sort of panic that is quick and bright, all silvery angles of movement.
If you enjoy literary historical fiction, open-ended finishes, deeply drawn and flawed characters, this book will send you over the moon .
May 16, 2020
I heartily and sincerely recommend this novel for those who loved Fates and Furies, or who love the novels of Michael Ondaatje.
While these authors don't superficially resemble one another much, to me they all seem to share a Proustian-like interest in paying rapt attention to every quotidian thing that happens along the way to telling their story. To me they're "crème brûlée, crème brûlée! Let's have the same dessert every day!" kinds of writers. Each and every sentence is so rich and creamy that after a while I personally start longing for a sentence that's more like a stale heel of bread. The style here held me at arms' length from the story and its characters, but it's exactly what will draw other readers in.
While these authors don't superficially resemble one another much, to me they all seem to share a Proustian-like interest in paying rapt attention to every quotidian thing that happens along the way to telling their story. To me they're "crème brûlée, crème brûlée! Let's have the same dessert every day!" kinds of writers. Each and every sentence is so rich and creamy that after a while I personally start longing for a sentence that's more like a stale heel of bread. The style here held me at arms' length from the story and its characters, but it's exactly what will draw other readers in.
September 17, 2019
This was a very different novel. I really don’t know how to even begin to review it, except to say that the writing was beautiful and I came away from reading this with an extreme sense of sadness about our country. Maybe it’s just the state of America right now and my personal view of it.
May 7, 2019
I love a good sprawling novel, one that swings for the fences -- perhaps even more so when it doesn't quite get there. There's something to be said for ambition, especially when so much of the book is so wonderful, and Alcott really makes it into orbit several times with this one. The first section is superb, all dry-heat and summer sun, the thrill of scientific progress mixed with the thrill of sex. And just about any time Vincent ends up back on the page, later in the novel, I was transfixed. Fay and Wright, however, are more fitful characters and their fitfulness feels intentional, but just doesn't always feel as vivid. Put another way, nothing about the middle of the book is bad; it just doesn't do what the first third did for me.
The ending, however -- the last dozen or so pages -- are a tremendously daring feat and one that had me gripping the cover of the book and drilling my eyes into the words again and again to catch a glimpse of... well, of what happened.
This is a great summer read, warts and all.
The ending, however -- the last dozen or so pages -- are a tremendously daring feat and one that had me gripping the cover of the book and drilling my eyes into the words again and again to catch a glimpse of... well, of what happened.
This is a great summer read, warts and all.
July 9, 2019
Lots of storylines, lots of locations, lots of perspectives. Lots of incomplete stories that collectively did not add up to something worth finishing. I rarely quit a book, especially book with alternate history, but this one I gave up on 2/3rds of the way through. There are so many good books out there to read, and at this time in my life, I want to read what is good, not what leaves many readers scratching their heads for a long time after.
She is a beautiful writer with a sure grasp of phrasing. But, I felt as if the stories themselves were told in flashes, rather than with sufficient development. Why does Fay hate her parents? Why does she move to the jungle? Why does she care for any of the men she is with? The book is full of vivid images, suddenly highlighted as if someone turned on a bright light of illumination. A few pages later, just when things are getting interesting, things move on.
She is a beautiful writer with a sure grasp of phrasing. But, I felt as if the stories themselves were told in flashes, rather than with sufficient development. Why does Fay hate her parents? Why does she move to the jungle? Why does she care for any of the men she is with? The book is full of vivid images, suddenly highlighted as if someone turned on a bright light of illumination. A few pages later, just when things are getting interesting, things move on.
August 23, 2020
Reading this book was like crawling over broken glass. It was one of the worst books I have ever read. It seemed the author's intent was to make everything as obscure as possible. I had to guess at everything the author was alluding to. My biggest mistake was continuing to read, hoping it might get better. It never did, and in fact it became more obscure the more I read. What a waste of my time and energy.
She, the author that is, is the queen of pronouns. She starts off chapters and paragraphs and sentences with "he" did that, "she" did that, without identifying who "he" or "she" is, creating unnecessary mystery for no good reason. Every sentence in fact is a mystery; it's as if the author is going out of her way to be as vague as possible. Why not tell a straightforward story instead of hints at a story?
I won't get into the totally unsympathetic characters.
The only positive thing about the novel was its thoughtful rendering of decades of struggle of America coming to terms with its demons.
I really hate this kind of contrived and pretentious writing. What an exasperating read. I do not recommend it to anyone.
She, the author that is, is the queen of pronouns. She starts off chapters and paragraphs and sentences with "he" did that, "she" did that, without identifying who "he" or "she" is, creating unnecessary mystery for no good reason. Every sentence in fact is a mystery; it's as if the author is going out of her way to be as vague as possible. Why not tell a straightforward story instead of hints at a story?
I won't get into the totally unsympathetic characters.
The only positive thing about the novel was its thoughtful rendering of decades of struggle of America coming to terms with its demons.
I really hate this kind of contrived and pretentious writing. What an exasperating read. I do not recommend it to anyone.
August 21, 2019
Alcott writes a pretty sentence but her storytelling leaves so much unsaid that the main character remains an enigma.
October 29, 2019
I stole this from another review - by Lark Benobi -
" I heartily and sincerely recommend this novel for those who loved Fates and Furies, or who love the novels of Michael Ondaatje.
While these authors don't superficially resemble one another much, to me they all seem to share a Proustian-like interest in paying rapt attention to every quotidian thing that happens along the way to telling their story. "
I know it doesn't require quotation marks but I can’t figure out how to change the font. I almost never ditch books before I finish them but I was tempted many times with this one. Apparently everyone who lived in America for the span of my life was depressed/sick/unfulfilled/angry. I had high hopes for this book because, like the curse says, we do live in interesting times and I had met people positioned in life both like Fay seemed to be and Vincent seemed to be, yet I could not connect to them nor any of the characters. While other reviewers found the writing beautiful, I found it distracting. I wish I could give it a better review because Ms Alcott clearly is a talented writer and obviously this was hard work, but I found reading it hard work too and not very rewarding.
" I heartily and sincerely recommend this novel for those who loved Fates and Furies, or who love the novels of Michael Ondaatje.
While these authors don't superficially resemble one another much, to me they all seem to share a Proustian-like interest in paying rapt attention to every quotidian thing that happens along the way to telling their story. "
I know it doesn't require quotation marks but I can’t figure out how to change the font. I almost never ditch books before I finish them but I was tempted many times with this one. Apparently everyone who lived in America for the span of my life was depressed/sick/unfulfilled/angry. I had high hopes for this book because, like the curse says, we do live in interesting times and I had met people positioned in life both like Fay seemed to be and Vincent seemed to be, yet I could not connect to them nor any of the characters. While other reviewers found the writing beautiful, I found it distracting. I wish I could give it a better review because Ms Alcott clearly is a talented writer and obviously this was hard work, but I found reading it hard work too and not very rewarding.
March 17, 2019
A bartender and an Air Force test pilot have a brief and intense affair and then go their separate ways. He goes on to be an astronaut and the first man to walk on the moon. She becomes one of the most wanted radical, a part of a group that sets off homemade bombs to protest the war in Vietnam. This is an amazing novel of alternate history. The story and characters are so rich and intriguing. This is the third novel I’ve read by this author and each one is slightly better than the one before. This is a big book that you will think about for a long time after reading it.
June 1, 2019
I was so excited about this book when I picked it up and started reading about Fay, and to a lesser degree, Vincent. Very quickly this novel became tedious and never ending feeling. Great topic and premise, but poorly executed. Prose for the sake of prose without sparking one iota of interest from this reader.
January 18, 2021
Ugh. Could not finish this. I hated everyone except the horse.
May 10, 2019
What drives people to achieve greatness or infamy? In America Was Hard to Find, Kathleen Alcott tells the story of a brief love affair and the child who resulted. It beings in the late Fifties where Vincent Kahn, a married jet pilot marking time while hoping to join the space program has an affair with a young woman named Fay Wren. Fay does not tell him she is pregnant, aware of the harm they have done Vincent’s wife and, perhaps, realizing how unworthy he is. Strangely both of them will become famous, one for walking on the moon and the other for political terrorism.
The story is told in three parts. First the love story, then the story of Vincent and Fay achieving the fame and infamy that seem fated. Fay raises their child Wright in precarity, with the future uncertain, often on the run and underground. Vincent achieves his goal, but seems to be emptied out, an empty man.
Wright grows up longing for normalcy. One of his big rebellions against his mom is going to a public school for a day. He gets that normalcy when he goes to live with his grandparents, but it’s not all he hoped for. No one has ever told him who his father is, but time and again, people tell him he looks like the famous astronaut, the first man who walked on the moon. He suspects they may be on to something He seems alienated from himself, even as he begins his own self-discovery in the San Francisco of the Eighties.
I liked America Was Hard to Find a lot even though it left me with so many questions. I cared about Fay and Wright and even Vincent. I wondered how differently their lives would have progressed if they had been honest about their emotions. That is what I want from a book, the questions and sometimes the anger about how a character behaves. I was angry with Vincent, Fay, and even Wright.
Alcott does a great job of setting the stage in terms of the history and the social milieu. She based Shelter on Weather Underground and did a lot of research and interviews with astronauts to get an authentic sense of who Vincent would be. The main characters seem emotionally broken and I wonder if that is the point, that they cannot be so obsessed with their causes if they were not broken.
America Was Hard to Find will be released on May 14th. I received an e-galley from the publisher through Edelweiss.
America Was Hard to Find at Ecco Books | Harper Collins
Kathleen Alcott author site
★★★★
https://tonstantweaderreviews.wordpre...
The story is told in three parts. First the love story, then the story of Vincent and Fay achieving the fame and infamy that seem fated. Fay raises their child Wright in precarity, with the future uncertain, often on the run and underground. Vincent achieves his goal, but seems to be emptied out, an empty man.
Wright grows up longing for normalcy. One of his big rebellions against his mom is going to a public school for a day. He gets that normalcy when he goes to live with his grandparents, but it’s not all he hoped for. No one has ever told him who his father is, but time and again, people tell him he looks like the famous astronaut, the first man who walked on the moon. He suspects they may be on to something He seems alienated from himself, even as he begins his own self-discovery in the San Francisco of the Eighties.
I liked America Was Hard to Find a lot even though it left me with so many questions. I cared about Fay and Wright and even Vincent. I wondered how differently their lives would have progressed if they had been honest about their emotions. That is what I want from a book, the questions and sometimes the anger about how a character behaves. I was angry with Vincent, Fay, and even Wright.
Alcott does a great job of setting the stage in terms of the history and the social milieu. She based Shelter on Weather Underground and did a lot of research and interviews with astronauts to get an authentic sense of who Vincent would be. The main characters seem emotionally broken and I wonder if that is the point, that they cannot be so obsessed with their causes if they were not broken.
America Was Hard to Find will be released on May 14th. I received an e-galley from the publisher through Edelweiss.
America Was Hard to Find at Ecco Books | Harper Collins
Kathleen Alcott author site
★★★★
https://tonstantweaderreviews.wordpre...
October 18, 2019
Rare to see a book reach so audaciously for the epic while maintaining its toeholds in the crevices of details with nary a misstep. One of the year's best for me without a doubt.
June 29, 2019
I really tried to get into this story, but after the first half I decided to not spend another minute with it. It was OK, but not something I really liked. The time period and setting , 1960’s during astronaut training in the Mojave desert, were interesting, but I felt the characters just weren’t likable, and it was hard to understand their motivation. I just didn’t relate to them.
September 5, 2019
Contrived, tries too hard - ugh. Another dime store novel - ugh-ugh.
Add poem (here):
A profound sense of isolation,
stems from the knowledge we are alone inside our heads,
archangels drift overdose.
#poem
Chris Roberts, God All Over You
Add poem (here):
A profound sense of isolation,
stems from the knowledge we are alone inside our heads,
archangels drift overdose.
#poem
Chris Roberts, God All Over You
June 9, 2019
Not for me. Characters coming and going without introduction or importance, lack of real storyline, I skimmed and skipped around. Not a complete read but enough.
July 9, 2019
I wish I could give this more stars. It is incredible. Every sentence.
August 7, 2023
I loved this novel for a bunch of reasons. Language, theme, and characters -- and the interesting play between them -- all knocked it out of the park for me. It's close to, probably deserves to be, a five star read.
The story is a really interesting blend of fact and imagination. It hits on key political and social events taking place during its timeline, from the anti-war protest movement and start of the space race in the late 50s/early 60s, through Watergate and the fall of Nixon, the oil crisis and rise of Reagan, and then to the Challenger explosion and the AIDS crisis in the late 80s.
I'm a sucker for this period in American history, and Alcott does a really good job weaving these events into a larger, more personal narrative, using them to keep the story moving and convey the setting, tone and themes broadly while taking care not to anchor the novel in a specific political viewpoint.
It takes place mostly in California, with a small bit in Ecuador and with some wandering throughout other parts of the USA as the timeline moves forward, chronologically, settling back in for the final third (third?) in San Francisco.
There are no pyrotechnics here with respect to structure or POV; chapters are headed with place and time (always? almost always? forgive me, I listened and now can't check). And this is good, and smart, because the language, at the sentence level, is rich, complex, textured and suggestive.
I think this novel would really reward close-reading, and I'm only sorry I listened instead of read with my eyes. The narrator, Tristan Morris, was fine, although I found the rhythm of his speech (perhaps because of the nature of the sentences) a bit monotonous after a while.
It has a small cast of characters whose lives intertwine: Fay Fern, raised in wealth, which she later rejects to become involved in a Weather Underground-like group called Shelter; her one-time lover Vincent Kahn, the first man to walk on the moon; and her son, Wright. Fay's lesbian sister Charlie, her PTSD-stricken lover Randy, and her parents make minor but important appearances, as does a fantastic horse named Lloyd.
Interestingly, each of the main characters -- Vincent, Fay and Wright -- appear on LIFE magazine covers during the course of the narrative. This is subtly clever, too. Each is representative of a type: the buttoned-up, aloof, military-trained astronaut; the anti-war / anti-capitalist / free love hippie ; the sad, beautiful boy, rootless, peripatetic and psychically adrift, desiring belonging, stability and groundedness, surrounded by social and personal trauma that prevents him from finding it.
To be an emblem, pictured on the cover of a magazine that was, itself, emblematic, adds a layer to these characters who are, each, in some ways unknowable, private, even secretive despite being instantly and publicly recognizable (at least in the case of Vincent and Fay).
The writing, the gaps between the words and sentences, their intended meaning and how they accumulate into story, is well-matched to this theme of outer versus inner lives. There is something in the gap; something the reader has to dig or listen carefully for. Who these characters appear to be and who they really are, the complexity of their identities, their personalities, and their small, individual lives are juxtaposed with era-defining, often cataclysmic socio-political events (the moon landing, the Challenger explosion, Watergate) and death on a massive scale (Vietnam, AIDS).
I had never thought, before, of the connection between the space race/moon-landing and the war in Vietnam and corruption of the Nixon regime. D'uh. This novel let me think about those events in a new, more holistic way. Because of course, of course they were connected.
All of that would be enough to hold this novel together but it does so much more. I have to say that while I enjoyed the first half, the novel really started to take off for me when the political became more personal. I felt a bit removed from Fay and Vincent in the early going, for reasons that are not entirely clear to me as I write this, but there is a definitive moment at which point Wright's voice and POV takes over and he becomes the pulsing heart and emotional centre of this story.
This novel is about big things and big themes; inherently dramatic and propulsive. But it is its observation of single lives and quieter, more intimate life-and-death moments that ground and deepen it.
And, finally: the last sentence of this novel is sheer perfection.
The story is a really interesting blend of fact and imagination. It hits on key political and social events taking place during its timeline, from the anti-war protest movement and start of the space race in the late 50s/early 60s, through Watergate and the fall of Nixon, the oil crisis and rise of Reagan, and then to the Challenger explosion and the AIDS crisis in the late 80s.
I'm a sucker for this period in American history, and Alcott does a really good job weaving these events into a larger, more personal narrative, using them to keep the story moving and convey the setting, tone and themes broadly while taking care not to anchor the novel in a specific political viewpoint.
It takes place mostly in California, with a small bit in Ecuador and with some wandering throughout other parts of the USA as the timeline moves forward, chronologically, settling back in for the final third (third?) in San Francisco.
There are no pyrotechnics here with respect to structure or POV; chapters are headed with place and time (always? almost always? forgive me, I listened and now can't check). And this is good, and smart, because the language, at the sentence level, is rich, complex, textured and suggestive.
I think this novel would really reward close-reading, and I'm only sorry I listened instead of read with my eyes. The narrator, Tristan Morris, was fine, although I found the rhythm of his speech (perhaps because of the nature of the sentences) a bit monotonous after a while.
It has a small cast of characters whose lives intertwine: Fay Fern, raised in wealth, which she later rejects to become involved in a Weather Underground-like group called Shelter; her one-time lover Vincent Kahn, the first man to walk on the moon; and her son, Wright. Fay's lesbian sister Charlie, her PTSD-stricken lover Randy, and her parents make minor but important appearances, as does a fantastic horse named Lloyd.
Interestingly, each of the main characters -- Vincent, Fay and Wright -- appear on LIFE magazine covers during the course of the narrative. This is subtly clever, too. Each is representative of a type: the buttoned-up, aloof, military-trained astronaut; the anti-war / anti-capitalist / free love hippie ; the sad, beautiful boy, rootless, peripatetic and psychically adrift, desiring belonging, stability and groundedness, surrounded by social and personal trauma that prevents him from finding it.
To be an emblem, pictured on the cover of a magazine that was, itself, emblematic, adds a layer to these characters who are, each, in some ways unknowable, private, even secretive despite being instantly and publicly recognizable (at least in the case of Vincent and Fay).
The writing, the gaps between the words and sentences, their intended meaning and how they accumulate into story, is well-matched to this theme of outer versus inner lives. There is something in the gap; something the reader has to dig or listen carefully for. Who these characters appear to be and who they really are, the complexity of their identities, their personalities, and their small, individual lives are juxtaposed with era-defining, often cataclysmic socio-political events (the moon landing, the Challenger explosion, Watergate) and death on a massive scale (Vietnam, AIDS).
I had never thought, before, of the connection between the space race/moon-landing and the war in Vietnam and corruption of the Nixon regime. D'uh. This novel let me think about those events in a new, more holistic way. Because of course, of course they were connected.
All of that would be enough to hold this novel together but it does so much more. I have to say that while I enjoyed the first half, the novel really started to take off for me when the political became more personal. I felt a bit removed from Fay and Vincent in the early going, for reasons that are not entirely clear to me as I write this, but there is a definitive moment at which point Wright's voice and POV takes over and he becomes the pulsing heart and emotional centre of this story.
This novel is about big things and big themes; inherently dramatic and propulsive. But it is its observation of single lives and quieter, more intimate life-and-death moments that ground and deepen it.
And, finally: the last sentence of this novel is sheer perfection.
July 14, 2019
i ended up LOVING parts of this -- the writing was so lush that I just felt drawn in and didn't want to stop. it's an ambitious novel and i think parts of it don't quite work because the text is so withholding about its characters. in particular i think the pieces about write and fay's time in the us part of the revolutionary group feel a little flat, whereas vincent, despite being a more distant character, feels more realized. it took me over a month to read the first fifty pages and once i moved past that, i was fully immersed and finished the rest in a weekend (also it was overdue and the library is harassing me).
January 28, 2026
2,5 stars.
i’m sad i didn’t like this book, because it seemed so interesting. it covers so many topics that i’m heavily interested in, but the execution is just not it. i was soooo bored by the 2nd half and lost interest in the characters. something just didn’t click between me and this book.
the + half stars is for all the amazing sentences that are sprinkled throughout the book :))
i’m sad i didn’t like this book, because it seemed so interesting. it covers so many topics that i’m heavily interested in, but the execution is just not it. i was soooo bored by the 2nd half and lost interest in the characters. something just didn’t click between me and this book.
the + half stars is for all the amazing sentences that are sprinkled throughout the book :))
July 30, 2019
Very nice treatment of three eventful American decades. Think of some American writers of the 1960s to ‘80s—Didion, Mailer, Wolfe, DeLillo—and more recent ones—Rachel Kushner, Nathan Hill, Rebecca Makkai, and most lately Salvatore Scibona—and their topics—1960s California, the space program, Vietnam, the counterculture, the violent radical left, AIDS—and here’s a work to join them. Imagine a plot involving a fictional first astronaut to walk on the moon, a fictional rebellious heiress, and their misbegotten son and his decades-long story that shows America to indeed be hard to find, capturing the feel of those years and specific events in a paced but lively narrative that moves and some wonderful writing along the way—often stunning in its descriptions, attention to detail, metaphors, and insights into the characters set against the background dramas of the times.
August 31, 2019
The last third of the book lost me a bit, but overall this was ambitious and interesting.
April 9, 2024
Just because it’s available, doesn’t mean you should borrow it from the library
October 9, 2025
weird and confusing for no reason. took me too long. i didn’t finish
October 11, 2019
This is a story of intersecting lives—drawn from real life events (Apollo 11moon landing, civil unrest and anti Vietnam War demonstrations, the violent Weather Underground actions, the “Aids Crisis” in a San Francisco and across the nation in the 1980s and the government’s refusal to do anything about it and even the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster). Alcott creates a tale in which the first man on the moon has an affair with a Patty Hearst-like character (running away from her affluent parents and eventually joining a resistance group) and fathers a son who struggles to find his identity and who comes to resent his mother for the radical life she immersed him in as he was growing up. Alcott’s writing is dense and complex. I found myself skipping passages or rereading them! Her fictitious astronaut names were distracting in their similarity to the real original astronauts’ names (Bisson for Grissom). The BEST passage in this book is a searing rebuke given by the astronaut’s wife to his young mistress. She tells her that men who have affairs with younger women change the landscape for all married men who hold out hope for their window of opportunity and their wives are left struggling with self doubt, hating birthdays and mirrors. Only Alcott says it much better than my summary. I’d give her an extra half star for those 3-4 pages!
May 23, 2020
Disliked this book thoroughly. The themes running through this book sounded amazing and exactly like something I would enjoy but the writing style just dragged and made it a tedious read.
June 23, 2019
My review of this book appears in the 6/23/19 print edition of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. At the moment, it does not appear to be on their website, so let me just quote myself, briefly:
"One thoughtful novel can't unpack all of America's generational damage, but Alcott's story is a good step in the right direction. If America is hard to find, maybe it's because we're not really looking" (pg E-6).
"One thoughtful novel can't unpack all of America's generational damage, but Alcott's story is a good step in the right direction. If America is hard to find, maybe it's because we're not really looking" (pg E-6).
January 5, 2020
The subject matter seemed perfect: Vincent, a married test pilot, meets Fay at a bar in the Mojave Desert in the 1960s. Fay gets pregnant, has a baby boy who she names Wright. Vincent becomes a national hero, walks on the moon. Fay becomes part of a violent, leftist, anti-Vietnam War (+ anti-space exploration) group, based on the Weathermen. Fay disappears; Wright drifts untethered through life. Wright eventually surmises who his father is and writes heartfelt letters to Vincent who was unaware he had a son. Watergate happens. The space shuttle Challenger explodes; President Reagan speaks to a country mourning the deaths of civilian astronauts. AIDS happens.
Basically, this book has everything that would interest someone who experienced all referenced events of the 1960s-1980s. Yet it didn’t work for me. The writing was of good quality, but the storytelling too oblique for my taste. A straight-on story of these decades would have been fascinating, but Alcott’s more “sideways” approach left me feeling disconnected from characters that should have been compelling.
Basically, this book has everything that would interest someone who experienced all referenced events of the 1960s-1980s. Yet it didn’t work for me. The writing was of good quality, but the storytelling too oblique for my taste. A straight-on story of these decades would have been fascinating, but Alcott’s more “sideways” approach left me feeling disconnected from characters that should have been compelling.
May 4, 2019
I received a free Uncorrected Proof copy of this book from the Goodreads Giveaways program and am thankful to anyone who made that possible.
This novel follows the lives of two very different people who briefly intersect and the child that springs from this intersection and explores how people are shaped by their pasts and where/what they came from. The writing style took me some time to warm up to but once I fell into it, I was all in.
My only complaint was the ambiguity in This may have been fitting but I was disappointed because I was highly invested in him as a character.
I found this to be extremely moving, engrossing and informative and I would highly recommend it to anyone with any interest in the 1960's, political activism/radicalism, the space program, or the AIDS crisis of the 1980's.
This novel follows the lives of two very different people who briefly intersect and the child that springs from this intersection and explores how people are shaped by their pasts and where/what they came from. The writing style took me some time to warm up to but once I fell into it, I was all in.
My only complaint was the ambiguity in This may have been fitting but I was disappointed because I was highly invested in him as a character.
I found this to be extremely moving, engrossing and informative and I would highly recommend it to anyone with any interest in the 1960's, political activism/radicalism, the space program, or the AIDS crisis of the 1980's.
March 15, 2021
Well, after 50 pages I was inclined to abondon this. But I went back to the professional reviews, most of which raved about it, so I decided to give it more of a chance. But at nearly halfway through, I’m giving up; it’s just not working for me. Too many sentences like the following: “They lasted two and a half years, existing to each other only on Tuesdays they made outings, hikes that she took in old oversized boots of Charlie’s until he brought her a new pair, mail-ordered to his office, the length of her feet guessed perfectly by how he remembered them on his dash” (43). Or “In the Angeles National Forest they ate sandwiches she’d made up high on granite ridges, or down in the pool of a waterfall, everything they could see coated in moss that ranged from olive to sylvan, everything they could touch changed by water” (same page!). And the overall storytelling is just as offputting and confusing as these individual sentences.
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