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The Demented Engineer
The package dropped through the letterbox, landing on the mat with a loud, ominous thud.
‘That was a loud, ominous thud,’ thought Robbie as he was roused from his slumber. ‘Loud and ominous enough to wake me up.’
Robbie had always lead a normal kind of life (apart from being orphaned at an early age, lied to about the manner of his parents' death and having vast monthly sums of money deposited in his Post Office account). Normal, that is, until he receives an unexpected invitation from a mysterious benefactor and it becomes painfully clear a brilliant but very unhinged Professor is desperately keen to get his hands on him.
Robbie teams up with Polog, a Victorian gentleman/chimpanzee hybrid and one of the results of the Professor's experimenting, and embarks upon a series of unlikely adventures in an effort to locate the Professor before he gets to them.
‘Now Robbie, it’s getting late, and it’s a long way back to Redmarsh. There is plenty of room here if you wish to stay the night.’
Robbie wore a bit of a troubled look.
‘Oh, you’re quite safe here,’ reassured the Doctor. ‘The fiasco with the ants was a one-off, everything is secure now.’
‘No, it’s not that,’ Robbie replied. ‘It’s just that it’s all...’
‘A bit of a shock?’ suggested the Doctor.
‘Well, no. It’s just that it’s all a bit, kind of...,’ they waited for Robbie to finish his sentence, ‘...unrealistic.’
Polog raised his bushy eyebrows in surprise.
The Doctor removed his spectacles and gave them a polish with the silk handkerchief. ‘Unrealistic?’
‘Yes,’ Robbie replied. ‘I mean, last night when I went to bed, everything was normal. Then this morning a loud, ominous-sounding parcel comes through my letterbox with a letter inside from a Doctor I’ve never heard of, asking me to go to Redmarsh. I get on the train with these two weird ticket inspectors, then walk for ages through a forest to a secret house with massive plants and a multi-coloured deer thing in the garden. I meet the Doctor, who lives with some kind of Transylvanian servant and a mixed species human-chimpanzee, and he tells me all about a mad Professor who’s been doing experiments that shouldn’t really be possible.’
‘Yes?’ replied the Doctor.
Robbie paused. ‘It’s just that if some people heard all that,’ he said, ‘or, I dunno, read about it in a book or something, those people might have trouble believing it...’,
The Demented Engineer is a far-fetched tale of mystery, intrigue, revenge, great big explosions, little old ladies, horrible scaly monsters and genetic engineering gone very wrong.
‘That was a loud, ominous thud,’ thought Robbie as he was roused from his slumber. ‘Loud and ominous enough to wake me up.’
Robbie had always lead a normal kind of life (apart from being orphaned at an early age, lied to about the manner of his parents' death and having vast monthly sums of money deposited in his Post Office account). Normal, that is, until he receives an unexpected invitation from a mysterious benefactor and it becomes painfully clear a brilliant but very unhinged Professor is desperately keen to get his hands on him.
Robbie teams up with Polog, a Victorian gentleman/chimpanzee hybrid and one of the results of the Professor's experimenting, and embarks upon a series of unlikely adventures in an effort to locate the Professor before he gets to them.
‘Now Robbie, it’s getting late, and it’s a long way back to Redmarsh. There is plenty of room here if you wish to stay the night.’
Robbie wore a bit of a troubled look.
‘Oh, you’re quite safe here,’ reassured the Doctor. ‘The fiasco with the ants was a one-off, everything is secure now.’
‘No, it’s not that,’ Robbie replied. ‘It’s just that it’s all...’
‘A bit of a shock?’ suggested the Doctor.
‘Well, no. It’s just that it’s all a bit, kind of...,’ they waited for Robbie to finish his sentence, ‘...unrealistic.’
Polog raised his bushy eyebrows in surprise.
The Doctor removed his spectacles and gave them a polish with the silk handkerchief. ‘Unrealistic?’
‘Yes,’ Robbie replied. ‘I mean, last night when I went to bed, everything was normal. Then this morning a loud, ominous-sounding parcel comes through my letterbox with a letter inside from a Doctor I’ve never heard of, asking me to go to Redmarsh. I get on the train with these two weird ticket inspectors, then walk for ages through a forest to a secret house with massive plants and a multi-coloured deer thing in the garden. I meet the Doctor, who lives with some kind of Transylvanian servant and a mixed species human-chimpanzee, and he tells me all about a mad Professor who’s been doing experiments that shouldn’t really be possible.’
‘Yes?’ replied the Doctor.
Robbie paused. ‘It’s just that if some people heard all that,’ he said, ‘or, I dunno, read about it in a book or something, those people might have trouble believing it...’,
The Demented Engineer is a far-fetched tale of mystery, intrigue, revenge, great big explosions, little old ladies, horrible scaly monsters and genetic engineering gone very wrong.
229 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 16, 2018
1 person want to read
About the author
Joseph Farrell
107 books6 followersJoseph Farrell is emeritus Professor of Italian at the University of Strathclyde. He is author of a biography of Dario Fo and has translated several Italian playwrights in addition to various novels.
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