Nobody's Son: Notes from an American Life

by Luis Alberto Urrea

Here's a story about a family that comes from Tijuana and settles into the 'hood, hoping for the American Dream.
. . . I'm not saying it's our story. I'm not saying it isn't. It might be yours. "How do you tell a story that cannot be told?" writes Luis Alberto Urrea in this potent memoir of a childhood divided. Born in Tijuana to a Mexican father and an Anglo mother from Staten Island, Urrea moved to San Diego when he was three. His childhood was a mix of opposites, a clash of cultures and languages. In prose that seethes with energy and crackles with dark humor, Urrea tells a story that is both troubling and wildly entertaining. Urrea endured violence and fear in the black and Mexican barrio of his youth. But the true battlefield was inside his home, where his parents waged daily war over their son's ethnicity. "You are not a Mexican!" his mother once screamed at him. "Why can't you be called Louis instead of Luis ?" He suffers disease and abuse and he learns brutal lessons about machismo. But there are gentler moments as a simple interlude with his father, sitting on the back of a bakery truck; witnessing the ultimate gesture of tenderness between the godparents who taught him the magical power of love. "I am nobody's son. I am everybody's brother," writes Urrea. His story is unique, but it is not unlike thousands of other stories being played out across the United States, stories of other Americans who have waged war—both in the political arena and in their own homes—to claim their own personal and cultural identity. It is a story of what it means to belong to a nation that is sometimes painfully multicultural, where even the language both separates and unites us. Brutally honest and deeply moving, Nobody's Son is a testament to the borders that divide us all.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Latinx, Essays, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, Biography

200 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

Luis Alberto Urrea is the award-winning author of 13 books, including The Hummingbird's Daughter, The Devil's Highway and Into the Beautiful North (May 2009). Born in Tijuana to a Mexican father and American mother, Luis has used the theme of borders, immigration and search for love and belonging throughout his work. A Pulitzer Prize finalist in 2005 (nonfiction), he's won the Kiriyama Prize (2006), the Lannan Award (2002), an American Book Award (1999) and was named to the Latino Literary Hall of Fame. He is a creative writing professor at the University of Illinois-Chicago and lives with his family in the 'burbs (dreaming of returning West soon!).

Reviews

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the language in this book; it is truly lyrical. Great Book. Great Author....

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an amazing book. I highly recommend it. It made me laugh on one page and almost cry on the next.

"My life isn't so different from yours. My life is utterly alien compared to yours. You and I have nothing to say to each other. You and I share the same story. I am Other. I am you.

So I've offered here a few words about my part of the journey. We're all headed the same way after all. Whether we chose to walk together or separately, we're going toward night. I am lucky. I have the angels of words beside me. So many of us are silent" (p. 58).

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not what I expected. It is far less about growing up in a "clash of cultures" than about growing up in a horribly disfunctional family. It is filled with painful-to-read stories of cruelty to animals and small children (including the author). While there were a few bright spots, this book mostly made me very sad. And very appreciative of the loving parents that I was fortunate enough to be born to. I hope that Urrea's adult life has been much happier than his childhood.

[Erin Siegal · Rating 5 out of 5]

fucking outstanding!

[Kathie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Evocative prose with clever turns of phrase that made me smile aloud. He captured a period of time, a generation, a culture. This memoir further strengthens my appreciation of Urrea's writing style.

For example, he paints a picture replete with vintage references to my childhood of watching Sunday afternoon science fiction, swooning over Illya Kuryakin in The Man from Uncle, and popping up pre-microwave popcorn: "The one Outer Limits that got under his skin was the one where David "Illya Kuryakin" McCallum got in a time machine and turned into a man from the future. His head expanded into brain-bubble, exactly like the Jiffy Pop foil container did." In this same vein, he references a young girlfriend who "weighed seven pounds, all eyelashes and eyes" and who taught him "feminine secrets like Dippety Do. She smelled like soap, bubble gum, and Vicks Vapor Rub." And later in this chapter from his childhood, he describes the innocent (yet ever so daring) experiment of licking AA battery ports, resulting not in a shock but kind of like "a lick of Satan's salsa." Taking the trivial and turning it into a memory. It's the small details, like buying the individually wrapped square banana candies that "tasted like his mother's nail polish smelled." I remember those candies too. It's these charmingly accurate, nostalgic descriptions that got me hooked.

Beyond the levity, it is an endearing and real portrait of his life growing up at the border as a Mexican American.

His treatise on Ed Abbey is both reverential and enlightening regarding Ed's casual discrimination against Mexican immigrants.

He also waxes poetic about the family that took him in and, for all intents and purposes, gave him a loving home. His description of love resonated: "By love, I don't mean drippy sentiment. Nobody at West Twentieth made goo-goo eyes at anyone else. Love, in that house, was a bedrock fact, not discussed nor fretted over, never analyzed and barely recognized. Love simply was. There is a way in which a family rises in the morning that says love. There is a way in which a family shares one bathroom that says love. There is even a way in which a cup of coffee at three o'clock on a slow an rainy day says love.....True love seems to be a spiritual loaves and fishes: it doesn't get used up, but keeps regenerating itself to feed all comers."

The only part I didn't enjoy was his description of the child prostitutes in the brothel. While I assume he was simply recording the experience, the lack of compassion or concern made me uncomfortable.

[Lars Guthrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Noting my enthusiasm after reading the extraordinary 'The Hummingbird's Daughter,' my father lent me this collection of autobiographical essays by Urrea. Each was previously published in a magazine, but most work together as a unit. Four tales of Urrea's childhood in San Diego and Tiajuana are the strongest. The last essay, 'Leaving Shelltown,' about a solo camping trip, didn't fit, while 'Down the Highway with Edward Abbey,' which uses a road trip in Abbey's Cadillac to fondly reminisce about his hardheadedness (which unfortunately included a dose of racism), somehow did. Urrea can write, and his etymological investigations were pertinent to someone who uses word origin to help kids read and spell. I also felt prescient remembering my review of 'Hummingbird's Daughter, where I emphasized the fuzziness of the line between American, Mexican-American and Mexican, because here Urrea places equal stress on those amorphous distinctions.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to the Fishtrap writers workshop, where Urrea is a member of the advisory board and frequently shows up to read and teach, I have fallen in love with the writing of Luis Alberto Urrea. Whether he’s writing nonfiction, fiction or poetry, his writing crackles with humor and brittle truths that have you laughing, nodding in recognition, and weeping at the same time. In this memoir, told in a series of essays, he tells about his youth in Tijuana and San Diego, growing up with an unpredictable Mexican father and an Anglo mother whose dreams have disappeared. He struggles with his identity—he looks white, sounds Mexican—the macho culture of his male relatives, the joys and mysteries of parochial school, and memories of the old neighborhood. This book, winner of the American Book Award, is truthful, tough, and sweet all at the same time.

[Eris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This set of writing gives a lot of insight into the author's other works. If you want to see the heart beating below the surface (the one with the border patrol truck misquoted but still rumbling), you will find a lot of aha! moments in this. Recommend reading this AFTER reading several other titles, reading it before might give away too many plot points!

[Paula · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a collection of short stories that capture different moments in Urrea's life. I like just about anything written by or about him but was hoping for something more like a memoir. Nonetheless, "Nobody's Son" gives good insight to how his childhood and, in particular, his parents, influenced his point of view.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

Urrea is someone lost between several worlds, some which have been destroyed by the passage of time. He talks about the real, strange memories and visions. Some of the problems he faced as a Mexican-American are still out there with bells and dog whistles. If you like magical realism you may like this book.

[Laila · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would have preferred to start this knowing that it was really a series of short stories as opposed to a memoir. There was some beautiful writing but the scenes from his childhood were remnants, not a cohesive story. Read it more like a long poem.

[Backoff51 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everything Urrea has written is excellent.

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nobody's Son will take your hand and lead you home.

America is home. It's the only home I have. Both Americas. All three Americas, from the Arctic circle to Tierra del Fuego.

I'm not old enough to write my memoir. Yet I'd feel as if I'd cheated if I didn't try to share some observations. So many of us live in a nightmare of silence. We are sons and daughters of a middle region, nobody's children, marching under a starless flag. Some of us wave a black flag of anarchy, and others a red flag of revolution. But most of us are waving a white flag of surrender.

My life isn't so different from yours. My life is utterly alien compared to yours. You and I have nothing to say to each other. You and I share the same story. I am Other. I am you (58).

[Lekha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book actually gets a 3.5. Why doesn't goodreads have half stars? Anyway, a really good book by the author of the Devil's Highway which I read earlier this year and highly recommend. The content and style are very different from the Devil's Highway as this is an enthographic book about the author's life growing up in Tijuana/San Diego to multiracial parents in the 1960s. It's broken into three sections and within those, vignettes about Urrea's life. My favorite was about the family who he partially grew up with--it's the section with the most magical realism (although maybe it was all real), which I'm always a sucker for.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt a deep and very personal sense of kinship with Luis Alberto Urrea as I read this book. As a fellow blue-eyed "half" Latino myself, I recognized the dichotomies he so eloquently expresses about what it means to be someone who does not look like people expect. I'd seen Urrea interviewed by Ilan Stavans of Amherst College years ago and had been planning to read his books ever since. I'm pleased I began with "Nobody's Son", which is poignant, sharply observed, and blissfully reverent and irreverent at the same time. I found this book impossible to put down.

[Ana Brunch · Rating 5 out of 5]

It shows us how does a person who has two different backgrounds feels and sees the world. It also focuses in how Spanish is intertwined with English in the United States and not just as "Spanglish", but borrowed words that people just assume are English and period. It has so many references to pop culture and political activists. I don't think it is a novel to please the reader, it is harsh and it won't matter of the story has a solid closure or at least an expected one.

[Adam Gossman · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an amazing voice! He has a way of describing something so different from my experience by making it familiar. All the while he is doing this he is courting me with his amazing grasp of language and complete vulnerability. Wow.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I especially liked the story "Sanctuary" in this collection. I thought many of the other stories were ok, but nothing special: overall, I prefer Urrea's longer fiction to these short pieces. But I did enjoy the glimpses they gave into the life of a Mexican American growing up in both worlds.

[Carol McCarthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am teaching parts of this book this semester. Urrea's honesty is captivating.

[Ron Mohring · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my first encounter with Urrea's prose. Truly well-crafted. I savored every page. Looking forward to reading more of his work.

[Michelle Lemaster · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great opportunity to get to know more about where Luis Alberto Urrea is coming from. I can really identify with his mixed heritage and the challenges herein.

[Edie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Urrea paints pictures with his words. The child of an Anglo mother and Mexican father, Urrea talks about life between two different worlds. The book made me wonder what kept him sane and focused.

[Genevieve · Rating 3 out of 5]

some parts are fantastic

[Monita · Rating 5 out of 5]

A bittersweet memoir, a rich tale of growing up resilient in spite of family strife. A heartbreaker!

[Joyce Reynolds-Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book and a good read. I enjoyed it.

[Dinka · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this after listening to an interview with the author. He is a good writer, but I didn't connect with the writing style for most of it. I still might try another book by him.

[Tracy Strauss · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the first books of Luis's that I read--I was hooked.

[Neyly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nonfiction; memoir

Last of Urrea's border trilogy

Well-written, of course.

The first two books in Urrea's border trilogy document the lives of those living in the trash dumps of Tijuana. However, in Nobody's Son: Notes from an American Life Urrea focuses on his own life, often expressing himself in a stream of consciousness. While poverty and an unhappy family life complicate Urrea's young life, he manages to find pockets of happiness and joy.

Recommend: Yes. You don't need to read the first two in the trilogy, unless you want to do so. Nobody's Son: Notes from an American Life walks a different enough path that any connection between the previous books and this one is little to none.

Note: a slim book, approximately 200 pages. I don't particularly like memoirs but Urrea does it right.

[Elizabeth Grubgeld · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is beautifully written and very thoughtful, as well as being funny in an unsentimental way. I love the way he writes about language as the "bread" we all can share together while incorporating into the memoir so many different languages and even untranslatable phrases. I also loved the way each memory is precisely located in a place, as his family history and his memories are so fully intertwined with his history and the history of the American continent. I tore through it in one day, unable to stop reading and am looking forward to reading it again more slowly.

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Do not get me wrong, I adore this author and will read everything that he writes. Some of the parts of this book resonated so fully that I underlined and highlighted to the point of rendering whole paragraphs unreadable for future borrowers (this is my book, I'll just share it out eventually... not defacing library books). But there are other parts that just did nothing for me and I scanned and skipped over.