In his book, J.F. Benoist—a visionary thought leader in the fields of addiction treatment and personal development—uses the journeys of two relatable characters to teach you how to develop a powerful new mindset and finally break the pattern of negative self-talk.
Addicted to the Monkey Mind offers a toolbox of practical skills to shift self-sabotaging, programmed ways of thinking and learn actionable steps to:
• Overcome addiction & debilitating habits • Resolve relationship issues • Replace burnout with passion • Sustain an abiding joy
“‘Addicted to the Monkey Mind’ is one of the most concrete, practical self-help books I have ever read. As I read these compelling real-life stories, I could feel my inner landscape shifting. J.F. Benoist offers a profound approach to overcoming our self-sabotaging conditioning. A must-read!” — Jennifer Read Hawthorne, coauthor, #1 New York Times best sellers “Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul” and “Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul”
“J.F. Benoist has given us a book of insight and clarity. Both psychotherapists and their clients will greatly benefit. The author’s use of vignettes and suggested exercises is informative, instructive and holds the reader’s interest. I highly recommend this book.” — Teni Garrett-Johnson, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist
“J.F. goes straight to the core of human dysfunction in a most unique way. From page one to the very end, as we follow people on their healing journeys, we feel what they feel, and can then explore our own inner process. I hold this book as a potent, personal therapeutic tool. Excellent!” — Bill Kauth, co-founder of The ManKind Project, author of “A Circle of Men”, and coauthor of “We Need Each Other: Building Gift Community” with Zoe Alowan
I struggled to choose between 2 and 3 stars. There was wonderful content in this book, good advice, great insight, and bits of knowledge that I can take with me and use from here on out. My issue with the book isn't the content, but the style that it's written in. The majority of the book is a dialogue between Benoist and his clients. I wish the author could have found a way to write this book without using so much dialogue. There is so much good advice within this book, but it was difficult for me to finish because of the writing style.
Overall an easy read with lots of good information. Explaining the skills through “personal” stories seemed very ‘after-school special’ in a way. And I wished it had the list of things to do when the Monkey Mind kicks in in one location, maybe at the end. Would have to go back through the book and write them down myself and I am lazy.
One of the first self help books I’ve read that I feel like will truly make a difference with my anxiety and managing my emotions. Highly recommend for people who struggle from anxiety, anger, or if you just want to connect with yourself and regulate your emotions better.
While this book has a variety of helpful information, including guidelines and practices, for those of us who struggle with intrusive internal voices and programming, I’m afraid that it was ultimately disappointing and a frustrating, bloated read.
The worst, and unfortunately most pervasive, issue is the dialogue scenes that make up the majority of the book. While case studies are commonplace in many self-improvement and psychology books, the conversations in this one are largely devoid of any relevant information or context beyond what’s provided in the remainder of the text, and they’re poorly written into the bargain. Not only does the dialogue sound absolutely contrived, it’s punctuated by ridiculous, repetitive speech tags. The author has also inserted himself into the majority of them, and the end result reads like a seventh-grader’s self-insert creative writing project. The stories also end on a perfect happy ending for all parties involved, which is not only irritating but also may engender unrealistic expectations in the reader for how their own lives should turn out.
I do agree with much of the material that was presented in the more informational portions of the book, and while I absolutely agree that an internal locus of control is more healthy as a rule, I find that the author takes the idea that “nothing external can upset you without a corresponding negative internal belief” too far. There’s a big difference between “I can’t control the behaviour of others, and therefore I choose to focus on my reaction, which is the only thing within my control,” and “Oh, the real reason I’m upset that someone else got the promotion that my boss explicitly promised to me is because it triggers my belief that I’m not good enough.” Of course, blaming other people and refusing to acknowledge the role that our history, triggers, and viewpoints play in a situation is not the way to good mental health, but I think at least part of the upset in the above-mentioned situation is attributable to the mere fact of the boss’ dishonesty and false promises, whatever psychological vulnerabilities the character in question might have had.
I also find that the author is very dismissive of pharmacological treatment, referring to one character who had maxed out the dose on her anti-anxiety meds without feeling better, and who tapered off her meds as a result of his intervention. I do agree that many people with mental health issues would do better with therapy, either in combination with their medication or instead of it, and that the current Western health care system is far too quick to prescribe a drug for a psychological problem that may have deeper roots. That said, there’s already a stigma around having to “take your meds”, and I find it irresponsible that someone writing a book aimed toward an audience who is likely to be anxious and depressed would in any way present the use of medication as unnecessary or a weakness to be overcome. Gods forbid anyone who truly needs medication reads this, decides to try breathing exercises instead of antidepressants, and ends up suicidal.
On a similar note, there’s a scene where a character (who happens to be a nurse) teaches a woman recovering from major surgery to manage her pain by bouncing balloons up in the air, thereby giving her an alternative to the opioids to which she’s in danger of becoming addicted. I do agree that the mind can be a powerful tool for managing or maintaining pain, but again, it’s irresponsible to present the idea, however indirectly, that if someone is in chronic pain, they may not need drugs as much as they need to play with a balloon for a few minutes.
At a quarter of its current length, with all of the dead-weight dialogue scenes removed, this could have been a decent primer on mindfulness and managing one’s own internal dialogue, albeit with some unfortunate implications. As it stands, though, there’s just not enough here to justify the investment of your time, particularly when so many other far superior books exist on similar subjects.
A must-read for those seeking to heal mental health, addictions, relationship issues, and even physical health concerns. As a therapist myself I even started suggesting it to my clients. The author has an interesting and engaging way that captures your attention.
A lot of good information and strategies, but the second half of the book seemed unnecessary. The book could have been cut in half without losing too much.
Using examples from a few patients, who you get to know throughout the course of the book, Jean Francois does a great job of demonstrating the concept of the monkey mind and observing mind along with the tools you can use to practise controlling your monkey mind. It makes for an interesting and useful read. The only addition that is love to see at the end of the next version, is a wrap up of the tools and techniques described throughout the book as a reminder of how you can apply them in your own life 😊
This book totally changed my life! Now l know why I used to have same arguments over and over with my husband.I have grown as I read this book and our relationship has grown, too.
“LA GENTE QUE LEE LIBROS DE AUTOAYUDA ES LA PEOR Y MERECE UN LUGAR EN EL ÚLTIMO CÍRCULO DEL INFIERNO.”
Bueno, pues yo tenía esta falsa creencia programada en mi cabecita hasta que le pregunté a la persona con más inteligencia emocional que conozco - y que más admiro- cómo logró enfrentar las tormentas del Tártaro en los momentos más difíciles de su vida. Su respuesta resultó ser este libro tan *plot twist*: ÚTIL.
Si tiendes a la ansiedad, a sobrepensar y a sobreanalizar, vamos, un “Monkey Mind” de manual—, este libro te otorga muy buenas herramientas. ¿Y es que cómo no voy a tener yo un “Monkey Mind” si hasta nombre de mono tengo? Después de leerlo, siento que el nudo en mi estómago se deshace, mi cuello se destensa y la niebla espesa en mi mente se despeja. Spoiler: también hay que invertir en ir al psicólogo —un libro de autoayuda, al igual que las tazas de Mr. Wonderful, siempre tienen que ser complementarias a terapia.
Me ha parecido divertido pensar que los conceptos de "Monkey Mind", "Observing Mind" y "Mindful Inquiry" son monstruitos que te acompañan en tu día a día, como los de Big Mouth. Así que nada: aquí, dándole pañuelitos rociados con cloroformo a mi “Monkey” para que se calle un rato.
3.5: This was a good read that yielded a lot of thought and reflection. I just finished “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents,” and I saw a lot of benefits from Gibson’s book. I personally find this book a bit more difficult to relate to. Benoist has a drier style of writing, and most of the context is presented in an interview/dialogue format with his clients. From previous reviews I know this is controversial, but I actually like that dialogue was included. This allows the reader to see his tactics being applied to a situation, and it also allows the reader to witness normal human response to the tactics given by a mental health professional. Some of which we would find ourselves responding to in the same way. However, Benoist pinpoints all of his clients actions and thoughts down to such specific events from their pasts. I find this difficult to implement without proper guidance. It’s great to see it in practice, but it’s another to have someone actively working through complex thoughts and feelings alongside you. So, this would be a great supplement to very specific therapy.
Practical approach to depth psychology. Benoist teaches us to overcome the defensive biases and reactive habits of the ego by stepping back into nonjudgmental awareness. From this place, which he calls the Observing Mind, we can use our emotions as a guidance system to lead us to our core beliefs ... and change them. He shows how to reinterpret our circumstances, take control of our beliefs, and find joy in the present moment.
Benoist uses the real-life examples of two characters, and their counseling sessions with him, to make this a practical, relatable read. However, I found the therapy dialogue to be tedious and eventually tired of the character storylines. But the purpose of this book is self-help, not dazzling prose, and I definitely felt helped.
My favorite insights from this book were about shame. “The promise of shame is that it will make you a better person; the reality of shame is that it makes you feel worthless” (84). “The very issues that we’re most ashamed of bring us to our greatest wisdom, power, and compassion” (page 109).
This book was recommended by my brother who is a clinical psychologist. Perhaps it is not the best written book and the examples of conversations can seem a little corny, but the essence of the book is teaching us techniques for handling the anxiety and insecurities that sabotage our lives (the monkey mind) leading to shame, anger, negative reactions, regret and sometimes to broken relationships and addiction. Creating an observing mind by being truly aware, questioning insecurities, identifying root causes and untruths we constantly reinforce within ourselves are first steps. Learning to cope through simple means like breathing, replacing lies with positive truths, practicing self-compassion, recognizing the monkey mind at work in others, and taking personal accountability are the tools we need to take control of our lives.
This book somehow changed me. I was able to see how my own life has occasionally been sabotaged by my insecurities and shame. Just simple steps like discovering where I might have picked up my own monkey mind beliefs, learning to breath and taking time to observe my own thoughts have all been very empowering. The author wrote this book with good intentions. I will incorporate these ideas into my own life.
This was a wonderful self help book to read. I began reading this book at the recommendation of a women's group and what a fantastic suggestion. I took my time while reading this book and I'm truly glad I did. The book was wonderfully easy to read but thought provoking and inclusive. I related to no only JF's words, but his client's experiences as well. The subjects and topics were extremely relatable. I definitely am glad I purchased my own copy to write notes. I will definitely utilized JF's tools continually moving forward, this book even allowed me to think critically about my parenting. The chapters were beautifully succinct and I didn't feel like I had to force myself to read this book. I kept desiring to build on what i'd read and learned each time I read. Very fulfilling and informative to read. I will definitely keep this book handy as a mental health and anxiety management tool. Great read.
Anyone who suffers from anxiety knows the feeling of being caught up in a constant stream of thoughts and worries, that mental noise which the authors coins as the “monkey mind.” The monkey mind manifests itself similarly in our lives, such as fear of failure, self-doubt, not being good enough and constant inner judgment. He offers practical tools and techniques to become fully aware of of this state, how to better manage the negative mental chatter, how to observe your thoughts in a non-judgemental way and ‘tame’ the monkey mind to achieve some inner peace. Lastly and the hardest part is creating space between ourselves and thoughts to reduce their power and influence. While I didn’t love the personal stories he used to demonstrate the monkey mind and techniques to manage I can see going back too this book on a regular basis as I could relate to enough of it that it made for good reminders on being mindful and good self mental care.
I read this book through Audible. Although there were some parts that I felt dragged on, I caught myself listening attentively to various scenarios in this book. This book is very dialogue heavy. It follows the life of a few of people who are struggling with their Monkey Mind and personal issues. Each individual become a client of Author/Therapist J.F Benoist. J.F. helps them understand what the Monkey Mind is and how it can negatively affect your everyday life. It follows the practice of having a more Observing Mind to improve their personal life struggles. It was interesting seeing each person’s mentality grow and how they react differently as you read.
I definitely want to go back and annotate key parts in my physical book. There were lots of good advice and scenarios that if practiced could make everyday life easier.
I stopped reading this book at 93%. There are some good takeaways, and I agree that the observing mind is superior to the monkey mind.
There were some contradictions, however. One chapter discusses allowing your emotions that bottle up to come out. I don’t really understand why you would do this when the whole point of the observing mind is to think clearly and calm yourself so you can make logical decisions.
The dialogue in the book is just plain fake and awful. No one speaks like that in real life.
The final straw was when the author revealed himself as a “Chronic pain is only in your mind” person. He completely lost me at that point.
Reading a brief summary of the techniques outlined in this book would be much more beneficial and a much better use of time than reading the entire thing.
I absolutely love this book, this has to be my favorite self-help book. Not only was the author able to give sound advice on ways to stop the monkey mind, but he also provided context with examples. It was very helpful, some of the characters in the story I could definitely relate to. I immediately started to use my more observant mind rather than my monkey mind. My monkey mind slips up since this is years of letting my monkey mind run the show. As long as I'm cognizant of the behavior I can excel mentally beyond expectations. I am so grateful for reading this book and I think everyone should make an attempt to read this book.
I think this book is longer than it should have been, I was sick of the dialogues after reaching two thirds of this book. Although it was informative and insightful but
I suppose if you've never been exposed to the topic this book would be a very good basic primer on how our mind "works" and what to do with that quivering mush pile of racing poo throwing monkey mindedness that sits in the meat between our ears.
I will admit, I skipped a lot of the stories and, for me, the information, while written in a decent, understandable, sometimes worthwhile, manner, was okay for whom I feel the book was really written.
I would have my clients read certain parts but disregard much of the story/examples.
This could have been so good without the extra side effects from the "clients." I can't stand when self help books are filled with things like... Jess looked at the ceiling thinking, looking really pensive. You could see Mike's eyes start to water. Olivia smirked and then replied "oh, I see what you are saying now." Then shook her head laughing. Just give us the information and keep it moving. Was it really necessary for the narrator to sound like her nose was stuffy the entire chapter because the character was sick?
Loved this book. While the main two client examples are alcoholics, this book applies to anyone battling the self defeating thoughts in their head. I like how the reader is led from recognition of the lies we tell ourselves based on programming we have from childhood, previous experiences and society to practical ways to change your think for a better life. He doesn't promise perfection. He provides tools for navigating through this difficult mental battle.
At first I felt like this book was a little cheesy and simplistic but as I read it the book, stories, and interventions grew on me. There are some incredible ideas in here which I have already incorporated into my life and also don't with a few clients. The book began to drag on towards the end and could have done without the last two parts 7 & 8) but in would recommend the rest for sure.
Honestly...Wow. This book i already feel in the 5 days it took me to read, that my life is transforming. I’ve been already doing a lot of innerchild work & relational-trauma healing but this book offers such profound, simple, and accessible tools and paths to access our shadow. To dive in and understand what gets us so worked up, and also to break free from these shackles that keep us locked in a struggling / self-limiting life cycle. So excited to feel the new spaciousness in my future!
I really enjoyed the writing style of this book. I love a lot of dialogue in a book - it helps it go by faster. I really enjoyed seeing these scenarios played out in someone’s real life because there were some instances that I could see myself in! Then, at the end it’s a quick recap of how the issue was handled. Really easy read!
I read enough self help books to feel like this one had a pretty unique and singular voice on the subject of negative thinking and how to help combat it. Near the end, it did become slightly repetitive , but it was good. It certainly seems to slant towards alcoholics or addicts as being the primary demographic for this book, but I think anyone can apply it to their lives in a positive way.
This book explores how to recognize the monkey mind chatter of our thoughts and emotions which cause reactions. The author offers some mindfulness practices around using the observing mind. The book is presented in an anecdotal context, which makes it more user friendly. Overall I found the book helpful as a supplement to existing practices that I’m doing.
My former therapist recommended this book and while it is the first “self-help” book I have read, I have nothing but good things to say about it! It completely changed my outlook on many situations in my life and honestly, has opened a new genre of reading for me. I would’ve never picked this book up on my own if it wasn’t directly recommended to me, but I truly do not regret it!