Much Ado About Me

by Fred Allen

Radio and film star Fred Allen's Much Ado About Me.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Humor, Autobiography

388 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1956

About the author

Dry, satirical, famous American humorist Fred Allen, originally John Florence Sullivan, worked in vaudeville, radio, and early television.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Allen

Reviews

[H (trying to keep up with GR friends) Balikov · Rating 4 out of 5]

The name Fred Allen has all but disappeared from popular culture. He was very big on radio in the 1940s and 1950s with a show of his own that mixed humor about contemporary events, politics and ethnicity. This book is more of a memoir than a tell-all biography, intended to amuse as much as to enlighten.

Allen grew up in a poor Boston Irish family. At age 14, his father told him that it was time that he go to work and bring some money home for the family. His first job, with the Boston Public Library, was a lucky break. When not busy at tasks he would find space "in the stacks" to practice his love for juggling. This eventually led to some amateur appearances and he developed some "patter" to go along with the juggling. Here is how Allen describes some of the process:

"Theater owners were informed that there was a service in Boston which would supply them with new amateur talent every single week. This service was supplied by three men: Sam Cohen, Lippy Huston and Jolly Ed Price....Lippy had no office. Amateurs who were looking for work knew that every afternoon they could find Lippy on the sidewalk across from the Globe Theater on Washington Street. Lippy's office was in his hat. When an amateur accosted him, Lippy removed his hat and took out some soiled papers on which he he had listed the theaters and amateurs he had booked for that night. After scanning the list, Lippy either engaged the amateur or told him to come back the next day. His business completed, Lippy tucked the soiled papers back under the sweatband and put his hat back on. His office was closed."

Allen was a great comic wit (as good as Groucho Marx with quick comeback). This book is an entertaining recounting of his personal journey through Vaudeville and radio.

[Mike Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maybe two years ago I stumbled upon a golden-age radio website and listened to a lot of their archived recordings. This got me to Allen, radio mega-star of the 40's. I listened to dozens of his shows, his appearances on 'The Big Show' with Tallulah, saw his few TV appearances. Moved on. Maybe a year ago I got interested in Vaudeville, read a great book of overview (No Applause--Just Throw Money: The Book That Made Vaudeville Famous), and was led back to Allen. His radio fame was in his middle age, his youth was all Vaudeville. That's the moment, a few months ago while feverish with Vaudeville fascination, that I read this autobiography that covers this youth. (He wrote a second one about his radio days that I haven't gotten to.)

Loved it. Biased. I was so thirsty for a peek into Vaudeville that I was too easy to please. Young Allen never lucked into an audience with fanboys so fawning as I. Okay, but I really think it is a lovely book, entertaining and of historical interest.

His early days in Boston I sped through, his odd jobs and music lessons, without great interest. It was when he hit the road, regional then national, small time then mid-to-big time, that I was won over. Allen described a world of performers devoted to their craft, beloved by many but living a life apart from all. He waited, freezing, for hours in desolate mid-western train stations and heaved his precious trunk of stage-gear aboard en route to another of dozens of circuit stops. He assembled in hotels full of nothing-but Vaudevillians, colorful members of whom, some legless, all wacky, dragged themselves to nearby pub and other adventure. He met with fellow performers, friends and insufferable bores who, all alike, wanted to speak of nothing but memorable shows, the crowd, the headliner, the business. It is a fascinating glimpse at a world long gone, barely imaginable.

My bias acknowledged, I loved Allen's humorous, self-effacing, practical viewpoint (he was in it for the money, they all were, he did what he needed to stay in the business, to get the laughs). He's funny, but he doesn't write to be funny, he writes to put you there and share his experiences.

It can't be as good as I thought it was. I marked it down a star in an attempt to correct for my own admitted bias. But it had me googling like a madman as and after I read, digging for scraps of history that would help me date, place, flesh out, be there and feel, the shows he described.

The nostalgia (does it count as nostalgia if it happened 60 years before I was born?) was cruel but I loved it all anyways.

[Dixon W Hayes · Rating 5 out of 5]

It will make you love vaudeville!

I have always been a big fan of Fred Allen's radio shows, and had a fascination with, if not complete understanding of, vaudeville. This is the most lovingly detailed book I have ever read on the subject. I got to know entire circuits by personality (the Keith circuit appeared to be the most powerful and vindictive), could taste the cheap food on which the acts lived, hear the sounds of dancers on the floorboards. I'm saddened Mr. Allen died while writing this book, which likely would have ended with behind the scenes stories of two more shows and ended with an offer to appear on network radio. (His radio work was covered in the excellent but less detailed "Treadmill to Oblivion.") This is such a detailed book it could even be a reference work for someone studying vaudeville.

[Whistler's Mom · Rating 3 out of 5]

How much do you need to know about vaudeville?

I think most people today seeing an autobiography of Fred Allen would have one reaction: Who the hell is THAT? And yet, in the 1930's and 40's and early 50's (when radio was King) Fred Allen was one of the most recognizable names in America. His radio shows and newspaper columns were funny, but they were also sharp, perceptive, and frequently controversial. Allen was from a working class family, but he knew he was smart and believed his audience was, too. He never talked down to his audience and he never let anyone else patronize them, either.

He made several attempts to break into the new medium - television - that was taking over America, but none were successful. Had he not died suddenly and relatively young (61) would he have become a TV star like so many entertainers who transitioned from vaudeville to radio and then to television? I think it's a good bet. He was simply too talented, too smart, and too hard-working to have been left behind as American culture moved on.

I knew his name from reading autobiographies of old-time comedians (including Harpo and Groucho Marx.) All of them spoke of Fred Allen affectionately and respectfully. Raymond Chandler was a fan. In "Trouble is My Business" private investigator Anna Halsey hires Philip Chandler for a complicated job because she needs someone who's tough and smooth and who can "backchat like Fred Allen, but better." That would have been a tall order, since Allen was considered to be the best ad libber in the business.

In the years before his death, he wrote a book ("Treadmill to Oblivion") about his life as a radio star. Several years later, he wrote this book to fill in the gaps, including his childhood and his early years in vaudeville.

Since I'm always interested in people's childhoods, I knew I'd love the first part and I did. His mother died young and his grieving father became an alcoholic. God knows what would have happened to his two young sons if Aunt Lizzie hadn't taken them in and served as a surrogate mother. Providing bed and board to relatives and strangers alike required almost superhuman strength , but Aunt Lizzie was a hard-worker. Her oldest nephew loved and admired her. Even as a young child, he had jobs after-school and on weekends. He also worked at the public library shelving books or locating them for patrons.

At that time, most kids from working class families quit school at an early age, needing money and not seeing the importance of education. But Mayor Fitzgerald (grandfather of President John F. Kennedy) conceived the idea of Commerce High School to give working class boys a chance to move up in the world. Education is given to fads, but all of them (no matter how short-lived) benefit some students. The boy who would become "Fred Allen" absorbed the idea that he didn't HAVE to follow his father into the printer's trade. It gave him the confidence to follow his passion -performing.

Vaudeville was a staple of American urban life and a good juggler was always in demand. Fred was so bad the audience laughed, but when he joked about his ineptitude, the audiences laughed even louder. A performer was born, although it took him many years of hard work to become a star.

The stories about vaudeville and his fellow performers and their lives on the road went on too long for me, but I was interested to read about his wooing of show-girl Portland Hoffa. She became his wife and comic partner and a popular comedienne. One sponsor complained about her squeaky voice and had to be told that it was part of the act. Fred Allen was never afraid to speak up for himself.

In short, I loved the chapters about his childhood, but the chapters on vaudeville dragged for me. So I'm giving it three stars. If you are fascinated by the tradition of vaudeville, you'll probably give it five stars. Allen was a fine, witty writer. I wouldn't want to have gotten into a fight with him, but it's impossible not to like and admire this talented, intelligent, determined man. He made a big contribution to modern American entertainment and it's a shame for him to be forgotten.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never wanted it to end.

[Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fred Allen’s autobiographical Much Ado About Me serves up a smorgasbord of early-twentieth-century images and idioms that will satisfy anyone interested in the period, regardless of special interest in Vaudeville or not. Allen spent is life in Show Business, beginning with a teenage performance at a public-library-employee talent show.

Allen demonstrates a Dickensian flair for describing settings. His childhood, teen, and adult experiences invite the reader to experience the places with him. For example, we meet Allen in his aunt’s boarding house establishment, where Allen and his brother grew up amidst a family-community arrangement, with many other relatives, fraught with the daily dramas, debates, fights and reconciliations of families in close quarters.

Other vivid settings include the detailed description of the library where he worked as a child and teen, and fascinating details about how it operated. He describes the many varied qualities and types of Vaudeville theaters in which he later performed. For example, some theaters had glassed-in crying rooms, where mothers could take crying babies so the sound would not bother others, but the mother could still see the show. There’s a great description of agent Sam Cohen’s office and waiting room (55); and the several hotels and boarding rooms he lived in during his Vaudevillian travels.

Allen also excels at character sketches. He vividly depicts the personalities, eccentricities, talents and foibles of his fellow Small Time and Big Time Vaudevillians over the years, in dressing rooms, on stage, and on trains as they rail across country in large traveling shows.

One delightful description was Allen’s first day in New York City—it was NYC in the 1910s, around Broadway, 42nd and 43rd streets, first encountering the famous Vaudeville theaters and nearby booking agent offices, and to top it off, his first breakfast in NYC, which he ate at the legendary magical Automat. There is a Dickensian description of 40th Street between 6th Avenue and Broadway, complete with saloons, dime museum, theaters, fruit store and other shops (120–122).

The book was published in 1956, when Vaudeville was still in the living memory of most adults. The stories are peppered with terms and phrases that evoke the feeling of the old days. Putting something like a hotel room or a meal “on the cuff” meant “on credit”—there were no credit cards, so it was trust based. There’s “shandy-gaff” meaning a watered down, or lesser, version of something, coming from the literal meaning of diluting beer with lemonade or ginger beer (figuratively similar to ersatz). You don’t want to be a “Patsy Bolivar,” meaning the butt of a joke, later shortened to “patsy” or a scapegoat, someone you can set up or frame for a crime they didn’t commit. References are made to long-forgotten objects such as a calliope, a musical instrument with keys and steam whistle. Perhaps the most esoteric term (not in dictionaries) was “Kimberley Gravel,” slang for diamonds, which were dé rigueur for Vaudevillians, Small Time as well as Big Time (note: Diamonds were mined and sorted from the gravel at mines in Kimberley, South Africa in the 1800s).

Fred Allen was a Big Time hit on Vaudeville, and not surprisingly, he crossed paths with some familiar names. Allen had a minor-but-funny intellectual-property dispute with Al Jolson. His neighbors in the NYC theater culture included Mae West and George Burns. He was in a show with Archie Leach, who later moved to Hollywood and changed his name to Cary Grant. He performed with Archie Leach/Cary Grant in a show to entertain the Du Pont family in Wilmington, Delaware.

Allen kindly shares some of his material with the reader. We get to laugh at some of his jokes straight from his repertoire library. He shares a lot of oddball acts and names of acts, and oddball superstitions of the performers, such as whistling in the dressing room (bad luck), or wearing an undershirt inside out (good luck) (248). He tells stories about his acts, such as one very successful Big Time traveling show where he and a partner performed as “Yorke and Allen” early in the show, and later with the same partner, performed again as Fink and Smith, with a different act. Allen told jokes, delivered monologues, juggled, played banjo and clarinet, and danced. His was a true Vaudevillian, having all the skills, top of the game, and having played the quintessential rough-and-tumble circuits cross-country and abroad, during the peak of the Vaudeville phenomenon.

The book is highly recommended to anyone with interest in the origins of Show Business, the storied past of Vaudeville, or general interest in history from the 1910s through the 1920s.

[Toni Wyatt · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting autobiography that imparts a lot of historical information about the vaudevillian years.

Starting life as John Sullivan in Cambridge, Massachusetts, in 1896, he tells some tales of his childhood, including one about his church (he’s Catholic) putting on a show and having all the children in black face. What the heck?

He worked at a library and piano store, and then decided that he wanted to be a comedian. He begins using the name Freddy James and performs wherever and whenever he can.

I found it interesting that he credits vaudevillian actors for creating Christmas in July. Due to hot temperatures and no air conditioning, theaters closed during the summer, so the actors began celebrating Christmas on the Fourth of July.

Eventually, he changes his name to Fred Allen, marries, and makes it to Broadway. Not included in this book is how he ends up becoming famous on the radio.

There are many recognizable names dropped. George Burns, the Hammersteins, and probably the most recognizable, Archie Leach (Cary Grant).

Fred died before completing this book, even though it ends in the late 1920s, and he died in 1956. I’ll have to check, but I think I read Treadmill to Oblivion years ago, his earlier book. I don’t remember what I thought about it. This one is 3 stars.

[Joseph · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the almost incomplete autobiography of Fred Allen. He was a fantastic comedian and so far ahead of his time that comedians have only benefited from his style in the last 15 years or so. He was topical and engaged, which made him perfect for radio, but his chops were cut on vaudeville. The medium of vaudeville has been dead almost a century and he included a chapter on its demise. But it is still encouraging to read of the travails of one man who finally made it big at the Palace.

[Rosanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book for those who like old jokes.

This is a book that gives you a feeling of what vaudeville was like. Reading about the old gags, acts and about Fred Allen's life is like going back in time to a world that no longer exist even on television. This is a good book for those who like the old jokes.

[Frances R. Shows · Rating 5 out of 5]

LIFE by one who LIVED Vaudeville

Having seen Fred Allen on “What’s my Line” along with his witticisms I was intrigued enough to read his bio.
It is so laced with his own peculiar wit as to grieve me with sudden STOP.
What a rare wit.
And what a great “read.

[Marianne Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Life and Death of Vaudeville" -- Delightful, Funny, historical.

[Roy W Kine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fred Allen’s vaudeville years and more

A window on a world gone by as only Fred Allen could tell it, full of insight, sentiment, and dry whit.

[Hope Sears · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone that loves Fred Allen or vaudeville should read this. He does not discuss radio much. And I was unaware he died before the book was finished. It’s not that it ends incredibly abruptly but just an “oh”.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Allen's second volume of autobiography but covering his earlier career, the vaudeville days through the 1920s. Amusing. Much interesting information on now-forgotten times. Would not reread this volume, however.

[Lynda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a thing for comedians. It started when I was in college and I read all of Bob Hope's books. Allen fascinated me. If you get a chance, read his letters.