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The Love Prison Made and Unmade: My Story
With echoes of Just Mercy and An American Marriage, a remarkable memoir of a woman who falls in love with an incarcerated man—a poignant story of hope and disappointment that lays bare the toll prison takes not only on those behind bars, but on their families and relationships.
Ebony’s parents were high school sweethearts and married young. By the time Ebony was born, the marriage was disintegrating. As a little girl she witnessed her parents’ brutal verbal and physical fights, fueled by her father’s alcoholism. Then her father tried to kill her mother.
Those experiences drastically affected the way Ebony viewed love and set the pattern for her future romantic relationships. Despite being an educated and strong-minded woman determined not to repeat the mistakes of her parents—she would have a fairytale love—Ebony found herself drawn to bad-boys: men who cheated; men who verbally abused her; men who disappointed her. Fed up, she swore to wait for the partner God chose for her.
Then she met Shaka Senghor. Though she felt an intense spiritual connection, Ebony struggled with the idea that this man behind bars for murder could be the good love God had for her. Through letters and visits, she and Shaka fell deeply in love.
Once Shaka came home, Ebony thought the worst was behind them. But Shaka’s release was the beginning of the end.
The Love Prison Made and Unmade is heartfelt. It reveals powerful lessons about love, sacrifice, courage, and forgiveness; of living your highest principles and learning not to judge someone by their worst acts. Ultimately, it is a stark reminder of the emotional cost of American justice on human lives—the partners, wives, children, and friends—beyond the prison walls.
Ebony’s parents were high school sweethearts and married young. By the time Ebony was born, the marriage was disintegrating. As a little girl she witnessed her parents’ brutal verbal and physical fights, fueled by her father’s alcoholism. Then her father tried to kill her mother.
Those experiences drastically affected the way Ebony viewed love and set the pattern for her future romantic relationships. Despite being an educated and strong-minded woman determined not to repeat the mistakes of her parents—she would have a fairytale love—Ebony found herself drawn to bad-boys: men who cheated; men who verbally abused her; men who disappointed her. Fed up, she swore to wait for the partner God chose for her.
Then she met Shaka Senghor. Though she felt an intense spiritual connection, Ebony struggled with the idea that this man behind bars for murder could be the good love God had for her. Through letters and visits, she and Shaka fell deeply in love.
Once Shaka came home, Ebony thought the worst was behind them. But Shaka’s release was the beginning of the end.
The Love Prison Made and Unmade is heartfelt. It reveals powerful lessons about love, sacrifice, courage, and forgiveness; of living your highest principles and learning not to judge someone by their worst acts. Ultimately, it is a stark reminder of the emotional cost of American justice on human lives—the partners, wives, children, and friends—beyond the prison walls.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published July 9, 2019
48 people are currently reading
591 people want to read
About the author
Ebony Roberts
4 books17 followersEbony Roberts is a writer, researcher and activist who has worked in the food justice and prison abolition movements for nearly twenty years. She has taught at Michigan State University and the University of Michigan and recently served as program director for #BeyondPrisons, an organization designed to uplift the voices of those impacted by the criminal justice system. She received her BA in Social Relations and Psychology, and a Ph.D in Educational Psychology from Michigan State University. She currently lives in Los Angeles with her son.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 73 reviews
July 24, 2019
4.5 Stars...processing my thoughts..full review coming. Thank you for sharing your truth Ebony.
Update July 23, 2019
It took me some time to sit with and process my thoughts on this book. As I previously noted, I so appreciate Ebony’s willingness to be transparent and vulnerable with the reader and trusting us with her truth. For this reason, I hope all are careful and thoughtful with it.
I have mentioned in other forums that when I read Writing My Wrongs by Shaka Senghor, Ebony stuck with me, I was drawn to her, although we don’t get a lot of insight about her in that book! I had questions...all that she brilliantly answered in her memoir without us having to ask.
I resonate with some of it, I now understand her choices, and I think that if we are honest with ourselves, a lot of us can can identify with some aspect of her story.
Now I can’t lie..I was big mad at Shaka after a point..lol..and I’ll leave it at that, no spoilers, but I’m good now!
I hope to see more from Ebony in the future, she has a powerful voice. I can appreciate her tenacity! I appreciate her shedding light on the flaws in the Prison System and the impact on families of those incarcerated.
Definitely pick this one up! It’s a must read..even if you don’t resonate with her experiences...because as a responsible adults in society, it’s our duty to understand the experiences of all, it’s the only way we can be better people!
Update July 23, 2019
It took me some time to sit with and process my thoughts on this book. As I previously noted, I so appreciate Ebony’s willingness to be transparent and vulnerable with the reader and trusting us with her truth. For this reason, I hope all are careful and thoughtful with it.
I have mentioned in other forums that when I read Writing My Wrongs by Shaka Senghor, Ebony stuck with me, I was drawn to her, although we don’t get a lot of insight about her in that book! I had questions...all that she brilliantly answered in her memoir without us having to ask.
I resonate with some of it, I now understand her choices, and I think that if we are honest with ourselves, a lot of us can can identify with some aspect of her story.
Now I can’t lie..I was big mad at Shaka after a point..lol..and I’ll leave it at that, no spoilers, but I’m good now!
I hope to see more from Ebony in the future, she has a powerful voice. I can appreciate her tenacity! I appreciate her shedding light on the flaws in the Prison System and the impact on families of those incarcerated.
Definitely pick this one up! It’s a must read..even if you don’t resonate with her experiences...because as a responsible adults in society, it’s our duty to understand the experiences of all, it’s the only way we can be better people!
June 1, 2020
At a time like this I often reflect on what LOVE looks like. What it feels like when it is unconditional and unmoved. I have cried many tears at random for weeks now but in reality, it’s been much longer then that. I have always loved being Black and love the feeling we bring each other. The way we make each other laugh and feel seen if even for just a second. I went into The Love Prison Made and Unmade without prior knowledge of the book but knew I wanted to read about Black love.
The Love Prison Made and Unmade is a memoir that tells one woman by the name of Ebony story. We get a feel of Ebony’s unstable upbringing and what it’s like to fall in love with an incarcerated man. Ebony is from Detroit and was raising by a mother who became accustomed to infidelity due to wanting to have a family but kids could not fix what was already broken. “The day I watched my daddy point a pistol at my mama, almost killing her, watching her run to save herself, was the day I lost whatever compassion for my father that remained. I gave up hope for him, for my family”. Ebony watched her mother deal with the inconsistent “love” her father portrayed until her father died in her young years. He was an alcoholic who had demons he couldn’t shake and neither could Ebony. Her mother never did remarry.
As we fast forward through Ebony’s life she unravels her hidden trauma due to being molested by her uncle and her college experience only to see how her calling in has changed. During these times Ebony connected with Shaka. A Black man who spent 19 years in prison. He was convicted of murder and Ebony and him spent about 2 years before his release writing letters, racking up her phone bill, and having visits where their love grew and had to overcome many obstacles. “I didn’t have the tools then to unpack what it meant to be Black and a boy, the daily assaults on his growing manhood, the oppression that squashed whatever life he had eked out living a hard, fast life in the streets. I wished I could have saved him”.
With Ebony and Shaka’s relationship I saw a friendship grow into Love that grew against all odds but changed as Shaka got close to being released. I saw love then I saw the way his words made her second guess every decision she wanted to make. I watched him guilt trip her into feeling like she could not feel certain emotions because he was behind bars and she was “free”. I found myself as a reader becoming angry with Shaka. To cripple a woman with your words is damaging. I was captured by the Love and the fight only to have understand that Love can be a lesson and a blessing but does not always result in happily ever after (yes i knew this prior to this).
Shaka’s release put more challenges on their relationship as infidelity played a part but I believe that although it did not work out, they learned many lessons and had a beautiful son to show for it. I’ll end this review here and leave you with this (Note: Black love is beautiful!!) “I sat with the reality that we would be raising a Black boy in a world that is threatened by Black male presence. A world that despises Black joy. Before he’s barely a man, we’ll have to teach him the reality of being Black and male in America. I wanted to keep him safe from the world, but I also wanted him to explore it. I wondered how I would raise a free Black boy, a boy who was not afraid to shine his light, to be or do whatever he wanted. I prayed for wisdom, for courage. I prayed for grace”.
The Love Prison Made and Unmade is a memoir that tells one woman by the name of Ebony story. We get a feel of Ebony’s unstable upbringing and what it’s like to fall in love with an incarcerated man. Ebony is from Detroit and was raising by a mother who became accustomed to infidelity due to wanting to have a family but kids could not fix what was already broken. “The day I watched my daddy point a pistol at my mama, almost killing her, watching her run to save herself, was the day I lost whatever compassion for my father that remained. I gave up hope for him, for my family”. Ebony watched her mother deal with the inconsistent “love” her father portrayed until her father died in her young years. He was an alcoholic who had demons he couldn’t shake and neither could Ebony. Her mother never did remarry.
As we fast forward through Ebony’s life she unravels her hidden trauma due to being molested by her uncle and her college experience only to see how her calling in has changed. During these times Ebony connected with Shaka. A Black man who spent 19 years in prison. He was convicted of murder and Ebony and him spent about 2 years before his release writing letters, racking up her phone bill, and having visits where their love grew and had to overcome many obstacles. “I didn’t have the tools then to unpack what it meant to be Black and a boy, the daily assaults on his growing manhood, the oppression that squashed whatever life he had eked out living a hard, fast life in the streets. I wished I could have saved him”.
With Ebony and Shaka’s relationship I saw a friendship grow into Love that grew against all odds but changed as Shaka got close to being released. I saw love then I saw the way his words made her second guess every decision she wanted to make. I watched him guilt trip her into feeling like she could not feel certain emotions because he was behind bars and she was “free”. I found myself as a reader becoming angry with Shaka. To cripple a woman with your words is damaging. I was captured by the Love and the fight only to have understand that Love can be a lesson and a blessing but does not always result in happily ever after (yes i knew this prior to this).
Shaka’s release put more challenges on their relationship as infidelity played a part but I believe that although it did not work out, they learned many lessons and had a beautiful son to show for it. I’ll end this review here and leave you with this (Note: Black love is beautiful!!) “I sat with the reality that we would be raising a Black boy in a world that is threatened by Black male presence. A world that despises Black joy. Before he’s barely a man, we’ll have to teach him the reality of being Black and male in America. I wanted to keep him safe from the world, but I also wanted him to explore it. I wondered how I would raise a free Black boy, a boy who was not afraid to shine his light, to be or do whatever he wanted. I prayed for wisdom, for courage. I prayed for grace”.
July 17, 2019
"The Love Prison Made and Unmade" covers uncharted territory. I am grateful that Ebony Roberts shared her story both the fairytale and the sobering reality. I have followed the work of Shaka Senghor the author of the memoir "Writing My Wrongs." Shaka spent nearly two decades in prison and post release rose to gain national attention from the NY times bestselling memoir, appearances on Oprah Winfrey's Super Soul Sunday and his TED talk and subsequent work on prison reform. Ebony, who fell in love with Shaka while he was in prison and with whom she has a son, was always behind the curtain, a supporter, and I wondered who this well educated and beautiful sister was. This book answers those questions and raises broader issues about what is possible in the area of make female/male relationships, with the hundreds of thousands of Black men caged. How do we engage these men and help them return as community assets? Is it safe to love them? Can women trust them? Ebony has opened the door to a much broader discussions. Bravo Ebony!
August 8, 2019
Bravo Ebony! Thank you for being transparent, real and involving me, the reader, in your intimate story. I had a father in prison for 33 years who died in custody last year. I related so very much to those prison visits, the ups and downs of the criminal system, and the loss of being able to do things with my father outside of that noisy visiting room. We need more stories like yours to shine a light on the realities of relationships with incarcerated loved ones. My heart went out to you during your struggles both when Shaka was in and when he got out. I know writing this book was healing. I hope to meet you one day. Many blessings...Jeri
September 15, 2022
Roberts is brave for baring her truth without editing the parts that make her look bad. We all know how this story ends. You've had an Ebony in your life. Someone who convinced herself that she was different. That the things that happen to other people won't happen to her. That those red flags aren't real. The story drags. I found myself rolling my eyes a lot during the second half of this book. The pacing of the book is meant to make you empathize with Ebony as she waits for Shaka. For me it just prolonged the inevitable, predictable ending.
March 8, 2022
This book was difficult to read. I haven’t reD a book in a long time that made me want to punch the author. Bad decision after bad decision was the entire book. It blew my mind. The writing was good though, you can read it quickly but the subject matter and her actions just made it so difficult!
March 13, 2021
The author did a wonderful job at tackling the stresses and pressures of being in a relationship with someone who is incarcerated. She painted a picture of what the incarcerated individual goes through but also the loved ones (which society assumes the loved ones have it easy because they are in the free world). For most of the book, we are along on the journey of hope and optimism for a homecoming and we endure the valleys. We feel the disappointment once the homecoming happens and the promises made while a person is inside starts to change. I wish the author would have explored what life was like after she decided to leave. Is there life after the pain?
June 7, 2022
3.5 stars
December 20, 2023
i appreciate the author’s vulnerability but it felt very repetitive (detailing the same conversations over and over again or the same string of events over and over). i also wish it got more into some reflection of the relationship. it just ended when their relationship ended without really getting into what she learned. idk
October 8, 2019
Excellent memoir. Beautiful cover. My book club and I had the pleasure of hearing the author speak at the NBCC. After hearing her story and reading the synopsis, we were eager to read The Love Prison Made and Unmade. Ebony Roberts did a great job of highlighting the story between her and Shaka - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Including the letters was a nice personal touch and gave great insight into each personally, and the relationship they created. I would have given this five stars, but I felt like the ending was quite rushed. It seemed to be packaged a little too neatly. I would have liked to read a bit more about what happened in the aftermath. Hopefully, there will be a part two this memoir in the future, in which case I will definitely pick that one up!
January 1, 2020
This book was so good. Wasnt a fan of the ending but it depicts exactly how life can happen.
January 8, 2020
This is a must read. I love the way Ebony Roberts let me in on her real life story. Life has shown her hard times, ever since she was a little girl. And still she Rise
September 12, 2019
Roberts is both a thorough investigative researcher and a hopeless romantic. Throughout my read I wondered which will win, the intellect or the heart? It seems in the end they compromised. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I’ve literally walked and driven the roads she described. And lived in battle with my intellect and my heart. I am so grateful that Roberts was courageous enough to tell her story and in that share a truth so many of us struggle against...when you choose you, you win. Thank you.
April 17, 2021
Compelling story that needs to be told, but the many many many details (my 2010 light grey Toyota just for one example) and the frequent backtracking to tell another anecdote, then returning to the current anecdote, prevented me from connecting to the author like I wanted to. I found myself wanting to fast-forward through all these details, many of which she repeats numerous times.
July 27, 2019
I wish I could pick 4.5 stars. I had a difficult time putting this book down.
August 18, 2019
My first time journeying into the world of love, prison and release (in many ways) was amazingly insightful. There were so many points in this book when I had to remind myself it was a true story. Every ache and pain, every smile and dream, were all real. This book was intense, leaving me feeling like I was a third wheel with a first person account of the hard road travelled.
“Whenever your relationship is not working, whenever it brings out the madness in you and your partner, be glad. What was unconscious is being brought up to the light.”
“Whenever your relationship is not working, whenever it brings out the madness in you and your partner, be glad. What was unconscious is being brought up to the light.”
September 4, 2019
Curiosity drove me to this book, particularly after reading the author's former partner, Shaka Senghor's book "Writing My Wrongs." From Senghor, we learn the story of a troubled young Black man growing up in inner city Detroit in the 1980's, eventually becoming a drug dealer to earn a living. At barely 19 years old, he turns to violence and ends up on the criminal end of a murder case. For his crime, Senghor earns himself a lengthy prison sentence. While on the inside, he begins to correspond with a brilliant young scholar by the name of Ebony. They fall in love through letters and visits, and continue their relationship for several years after Senghor is released.
"The Love that Prison Made" is Ebony's side of the story, beginning from her childhood. After witnessing domestic abuse in her childhood, she tells her narrative of meeting Senghor behind bars and falling in love with him. The narrative continues after he is released, when all doesn't go as planned and the couple is confronted with cold realities and real problems.
I really liked this. There is a lot of focus on the couple's courtship through letters, which makes up most of this book. Although Senghor is not released until about 75% in, you immediately know early on that this pair is not going to make it. Although she is careful not to generalize about the fate of all prison relationships, I appreciate Ms. Roberts' choice to be transparent about why her prison romance failed. All too often we hear about the 'happily ever after' and the happy couple life of inmates and persons on the outside. What about the people who do the same and it doesn't work out perfectly? Hmm.
This story is also important from a social justice perspective. Due to the mass incarceration rates of Black people, the question becomes one of how to interact with these men and women. Large numbers of the prison population will eventually get out one day, and not only will they need employment and support, they will seek emotional attachments as well. What is to be expected? What is inevitable? These are questions to consider.
Four solid stars.
"The Love that Prison Made" is Ebony's side of the story, beginning from her childhood. After witnessing domestic abuse in her childhood, she tells her narrative of meeting Senghor behind bars and falling in love with him. The narrative continues after he is released, when all doesn't go as planned and the couple is confronted with cold realities and real problems.
I really liked this. There is a lot of focus on the couple's courtship through letters, which makes up most of this book. Although Senghor is not released until about 75% in, you immediately know early on that this pair is not going to make it. Although she is careful not to generalize about the fate of all prison relationships, I appreciate Ms. Roberts' choice to be transparent about why her prison romance failed. All too often we hear about the 'happily ever after' and the happy couple life of inmates and persons on the outside. What about the people who do the same and it doesn't work out perfectly? Hmm.
This story is also important from a social justice perspective. Due to the mass incarceration rates of Black people, the question becomes one of how to interact with these men and women. Large numbers of the prison population will eventually get out one day, and not only will they need employment and support, they will seek emotional attachments as well. What is to be expected? What is inevitable? These are questions to consider.
Four solid stars.
October 29, 2019
BEAUTIFUL STORY
I have never heard of this author nor the man she loved. I purchased this book because like Ms. Ebony, This was my story only difference is my man and I share a history before his incarceration. Her story is REAL to me even speaking about her parents relationship. This story was amazing and I really was rooting for Ebony and Shaka. I understand that some people come in our life for a reason,season, or a lifetime, we just have to know the difference. I rode for my LOVE for 7 years before he was released a little over a year ago, we have challenges but we are getting better and learning each other in this side with Gods Grace. Thank U Ebony for telling your story!
I have never heard of this author nor the man she loved. I purchased this book because like Ms. Ebony, This was my story only difference is my man and I share a history before his incarceration. Her story is REAL to me even speaking about her parents relationship. This story was amazing and I really was rooting for Ebony and Shaka. I understand that some people come in our life for a reason,season, or a lifetime, we just have to know the difference. I rode for my LOVE for 7 years before he was released a little over a year ago, we have challenges but we are getting better and learning each other in this side with Gods Grace. Thank U Ebony for telling your story!
September 27, 2020
Very interesting. I appreciated that this book was written by someone from my hometown of Detroit. I also appreciated that it was the uncomfortable story that many people may have, where they're in a relationship with an inmate. However, I didn't enjoy most of the book. There wasn't a ton of progression between them meeting until the end, yet there was a lot of book! Also, it had the ending that I expected, which was disappointing. It was hard to learn the lesson that the author was trying to express. In any case, it was definitely a unique story.
July 15, 2019
I'm smiling after reading this. Full disclosure: I went to middle school and high school with Ebony and been following her social media posts while she was working on this memoir. The end result is fantastic. How many of us are really able to open up our lives not just to strangers but to people who know us, or at least some version of us? This is a story about love. Love of family, community, justice, and love of self. Heartbreaking and reassuring at the same time.
November 21, 2019
Beautiful lessons to take from this story. The story itself however, is a bad surprise.
Ebony's character is so strong and the circumstances of her relationship with Shaka so complex that when the story ends on her "admitting defeat", it left me empty. I think this is the perfect example of a cliffhanger needing a sequel. Please write a part II, Mrs. Ebony.
I think we need the even-stronger side to your story.
Ebony's character is so strong and the circumstances of her relationship with Shaka so complex that when the story ends on her "admitting defeat", it left me empty. I think this is the perfect example of a cliffhanger needing a sequel. Please write a part II, Mrs. Ebony.
I think we need the even-stronger side to your story.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 5, 2020
We read this for book club, and we were all sorely disappointed. For me, this book was just cringe. The whole time I was reading through it I just felt like yelling at the author about the choices she was making.
December 27, 2022
The Love Prison Made and Unmade: My Story by Ebony Roberts
Published July 9, 2019
<3 This had several twists I did not see coming. There were scenes that just left me with my mouth agape as I SMH. This is one #rideordie sister. Quality counseling for them both prior to them even knowing of each other would have yielded a healthier outcome IMO. #Audiobooking this left me emotionally exhausted. I wonder how their son will take this if he decides to read this.
#GenerationalTrauma #ChildhoodTrauma #PrisonPolitics #UnhealdTrauma
With echoes of Just Mercy and An American Marriage, a remarkable memoir of a woman who falls in love with an incarcerated man—a poignant story of hope and disappointment that lays bare the toll prison takes not only on those behind bars, but on their families and relationships.
Ebony's parents were high school sweethearts and married young. By the time Ebony was born, the marriage was disintegrating. As a little girl she witnessed her parents' brutal verbal and physical fights, fueled by her father's alcoholism. Then her father tried to kill her mother.
Those experiences drastically affected the way Ebony viewed love and set the pattern for her future romantic relationships. Despite being an educated and strong-minded woman determined not to repeat the mistakes of her parents—she would have a fairytale love—Ebony found herself drawn to bad-boys: men who cheated; men who verbally abused her; men who disappointed her. Fed up, she swore to wait for the partner God chose for her.
Then she met Shaka Senghor. Though she felt an intense spiritual connection, Ebony struggled with the idea that this man behind bars for murder could be the good love God had for her. Through letters and visits, she and Shaka fell deeply in love.
Once Shaka came home, Ebony thought the worst was behind them. But Shaka's release was the beginning of the end.
The Love Prison Made and Unmade is heartfelt. It reveals powerful lessons about love, sacrifice, courage, and forgiveness; of living your highest principles and learning not to judge someone by their worst acts. Ultimately, it is a stark reminder of the emotional cost of American justice on human lives—the partners, wives, children, and friends—beyond the prison walls.
Published July 9, 2019
<3 This had several twists I did not see coming. There were scenes that just left me with my mouth agape as I SMH. This is one #rideordie sister. Quality counseling for them both prior to them even knowing of each other would have yielded a healthier outcome IMO. #Audiobooking this left me emotionally exhausted. I wonder how their son will take this if he decides to read this.
#GenerationalTrauma #ChildhoodTrauma #PrisonPolitics #UnhealdTrauma
With echoes of Just Mercy and An American Marriage, a remarkable memoir of a woman who falls in love with an incarcerated man—a poignant story of hope and disappointment that lays bare the toll prison takes not only on those behind bars, but on their families and relationships.
Ebony's parents were high school sweethearts and married young. By the time Ebony was born, the marriage was disintegrating. As a little girl she witnessed her parents' brutal verbal and physical fights, fueled by her father's alcoholism. Then her father tried to kill her mother.
Those experiences drastically affected the way Ebony viewed love and set the pattern for her future romantic relationships. Despite being an educated and strong-minded woman determined not to repeat the mistakes of her parents—she would have a fairytale love—Ebony found herself drawn to bad-boys: men who cheated; men who verbally abused her; men who disappointed her. Fed up, she swore to wait for the partner God chose for her.
Then she met Shaka Senghor. Though she felt an intense spiritual connection, Ebony struggled with the idea that this man behind bars for murder could be the good love God had for her. Through letters and visits, she and Shaka fell deeply in love.
Once Shaka came home, Ebony thought the worst was behind them. But Shaka's release was the beginning of the end.
The Love Prison Made and Unmade is heartfelt. It reveals powerful lessons about love, sacrifice, courage, and forgiveness; of living your highest principles and learning not to judge someone by their worst acts. Ultimately, it is a stark reminder of the emotional cost of American justice on human lives—the partners, wives, children, and friends—beyond the prison walls.
February 21, 2022
Ebony is an educated and strong minded woman determined not to repeat the same mistakes as her parents. Unfortunately she finds herself attracted to the proverbial bad boys; men who are abusive and cheat.
Like a lot of women, Ebony gets fed up with being hurt and decides to wait for the man that God chooses for her. Then she meets Shaka.
Shaka is serving a 20 year bid for second degree murder. They become pen pals through a community organization where Ebony works. They connect almost immediately through letters, phone calls, and visits. They were sure that once Shaka came home it would be the beginning of the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, there is no fairy tale ending.
I enjoyed this book. I found myself imagining if I were in Ebony’s shoes. I loved the connection that they made. I feel like it’s a connection so many people yearn for. Physical connection is awesome and a must. But a deep spiritual connection is what sustains a relationship long after the physical connection fades.
I don’t necessarily like how the book ended. I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in and want forever for myself and everyone. I want everyone to find their person. But I understand why the book went in the direction that it did.
Overall I was touched by the characters. I empathized with Ebony. And I relayed to her in so many ways. I thought about previous relationships, and the connections that were made beyond a physical connection. And I also thought about when God told me to walk away and I did not.
I give the book 4.5 stars ⭐️
Like a lot of women, Ebony gets fed up with being hurt and decides to wait for the man that God chooses for her. Then she meets Shaka.
Shaka is serving a 20 year bid for second degree murder. They become pen pals through a community organization where Ebony works. They connect almost immediately through letters, phone calls, and visits. They were sure that once Shaka came home it would be the beginning of the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, there is no fairy tale ending.
I enjoyed this book. I found myself imagining if I were in Ebony’s shoes. I loved the connection that they made. I feel like it’s a connection so many people yearn for. Physical connection is awesome and a must. But a deep spiritual connection is what sustains a relationship long after the physical connection fades.
I don’t necessarily like how the book ended. I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in and want forever for myself and everyone. I want everyone to find their person. But I understand why the book went in the direction that it did.
Overall I was touched by the characters. I empathized with Ebony. And I relayed to her in so many ways. I thought about previous relationships, and the connections that were made beyond a physical connection. And I also thought about when God told me to walk away and I did not.
I give the book 4.5 stars ⭐️
March 15, 2020
I completed the reading in less than a week. Audiobook was great, especially listening to same narrator for another read at this time.
The first few chapters tells Ebony's life, ups and downs of her relationships, and her pursuing after her educational goals.
After meeting Shaka and watching the show "Release," then heard about his ex-girlfriend having a story (book), and decided to read it. Furthermore, Ms. Roberts speaks about Shaka by chapter 9 until the end of the book.
She shares the beauty of giving love a shot when it didn't look good from the beginning even with her own skeptics as well as her mother's feedback including past experience with Ebony's father, and like most women story who date men in jail or prison rarely have a great turnaround or in their favor of love, marriage, family and happily ever after. Whether it's manipulating skill or behind the walls that a prisoner uses to capture a person's heart/mind, with great hopes to see a life with the one loyal to you and doing time with you, seems like a fairytale that when they (inmates) come home that all will be well.
Thank you for sharing your story Ms. Roberts and will give hope to others in a similar situation--moreover, it helps others. What I liked most of the read was to hear it from a woman's standpoint while being with someone in prison.
Disclaimer: I borrowed a audiobook copy from the library and giving my honest opinion on it.
The first few chapters tells Ebony's life, ups and downs of her relationships, and her pursuing after her educational goals.
After meeting Shaka and watching the show "Release," then heard about his ex-girlfriend having a story (book), and decided to read it. Furthermore, Ms. Roberts speaks about Shaka by chapter 9 until the end of the book.
She shares the beauty of giving love a shot when it didn't look good from the beginning even with her own skeptics as well as her mother's feedback including past experience with Ebony's father, and like most women story who date men in jail or prison rarely have a great turnaround or in their favor of love, marriage, family and happily ever after. Whether it's manipulating skill or behind the walls that a prisoner uses to capture a person's heart/mind, with great hopes to see a life with the one loyal to you and doing time with you, seems like a fairytale that when they (inmates) come home that all will be well.
Thank you for sharing your story Ms. Roberts and will give hope to others in a similar situation--moreover, it helps others. What I liked most of the read was to hear it from a woman's standpoint while being with someone in prison.
Disclaimer: I borrowed a audiobook copy from the library and giving my honest opinion on it.
April 7, 2021
Roberts has crafted a memoir full of heart, she's generous to herself about past mistakes and holds no grudges against the people who have hurt her. I loved reading about her experience growing up in Detroit, her complicated relationship with her father and especially what it was like for her to see her parents at odds throughout her childhood. Her zeal for creating a deep, supportive and African-centered space for Black children was wonderful to read about - and I enjoyed hearing about the journey that led her there. When Shaka shows up, I wondered how he would woo such an accomplished woman - and Roberts does well describing his intelligence, charm, & sincerity. The buildup of their relationship was beautiful to watch - although its hindsight of their breakup lends a sobering lens.
One thing I did not expect, based on the blurb and on what I had known about Senghor, is that I would end the memoir enraged. Having read Senghor's memoir a year ago, I thought I understood who he was , and never expected the selfishness & immaturity that he treated Ebony with.
Roberts' memoir is the story of a Black woman who supported, loved, fought for, and held down her love for four years while Shaka was in prison - only for him to turn childish and fickle at the end. He made promises he never should have made, over & over again, only to turn around and betray the trust of a woman he claimed to love. She deserved so much better. While I appreciate the generosity of the narration, the hurt was still present. I hope that, in time, she writes more about her journey. I'm sure this won't be the last work we see from Ebony Roberts.
One thing I did not expect, based on the blurb and on what I had known about Senghor, is that I would end the memoir enraged. Having read Senghor's memoir a year ago, I thought I understood who he was , and never expected the selfishness & immaturity that he treated Ebony with.
Roberts' memoir is the story of a Black woman who supported, loved, fought for, and held down her love for four years while Shaka was in prison - only for him to turn childish and fickle at the end. He made promises he never should have made, over & over again, only to turn around and betray the trust of a woman he claimed to love. She deserved so much better. While I appreciate the generosity of the narration, the hurt was still present. I hope that, in time, she writes more about her journey. I'm sure this won't be the last work we see from Ebony Roberts.
March 13, 2020
3.5/5 stars
The Love Prison Made and Unmade tells of Ebony Roberts’s experience falling in and out of love with an incarcerated man.
What I liked: I really liked the discussions had on the prison system, what it’s like to be in a relationship with an incarcerated person, and how difficult it is to adapt back into society after being in prison for so long. I also enjoyed the writing of this story, Ebony Roberts is a fantastic writer. I also listened to the audiobook for this story, and it was great, Robin Miles is an incredible narrator.
What I didn’t like: well, nothing really, I mean the ending felt extremely abrupt, but that’s fair because Ebony hasn’t lived out her story yet.
This was just always going to be a story that didn’t quite work with me because I have a hard time investing in a relationship that is primarily built on letters, or emails, or phone calls, that’s 100% a me thing. I think this story will work for a lot of people, and a lot of people will enjoy it, so if it sounds interesting to you then I highly recommend you pick it up.
The Love Prison Made and Unmade tells of Ebony Roberts’s experience falling in and out of love with an incarcerated man.
What I liked: I really liked the discussions had on the prison system, what it’s like to be in a relationship with an incarcerated person, and how difficult it is to adapt back into society after being in prison for so long. I also enjoyed the writing of this story, Ebony Roberts is a fantastic writer. I also listened to the audiobook for this story, and it was great, Robin Miles is an incredible narrator.
What I didn’t like: well, nothing really, I mean the ending felt extremely abrupt, but that’s fair because Ebony hasn’t lived out her story yet.
This was just always going to be a story that didn’t quite work with me because I have a hard time investing in a relationship that is primarily built on letters, or emails, or phone calls, that’s 100% a me thing. I think this story will work for a lot of people, and a lot of people will enjoy it, so if it sounds interesting to you then I highly recommend you pick it up.
June 16, 2021
Cautionary tale with no fairy tale HEA
This author held nothing back in sharing her truth...the good, the bad, and the ugly. The title of the book speaks of it...the love prison made and unmade. A very intelligent yet broken woman pairs up with an imprisoned brilliant yet broken man. A man who was locked up at 19 years old watching his life crumbled before his eyes scraping for every ounce of freedom that society believed he didn't deserved. When freedom came, it revealed the fragility of humanity where love does not conquer all. My heart ached for them both and I was angered because the penal system does not factor how many lives, families, and homes are disrupted and does not care. This story spoke volumes and warned us of the dangers of trying to reconcile fantasy to reality...there is no riding off to the sunset...the best you can do is to just see the sunrise and sunset.
This author held nothing back in sharing her truth...the good, the bad, and the ugly. The title of the book speaks of it...the love prison made and unmade. A very intelligent yet broken woman pairs up with an imprisoned brilliant yet broken man. A man who was locked up at 19 years old watching his life crumbled before his eyes scraping for every ounce of freedom that society believed he didn't deserved. When freedom came, it revealed the fragility of humanity where love does not conquer all. My heart ached for them both and I was angered because the penal system does not factor how many lives, families, and homes are disrupted and does not care. This story spoke volumes and warned us of the dangers of trying to reconcile fantasy to reality...there is no riding off to the sunset...the best you can do is to just see the sunrise and sunset.
February 23, 2023
I wish I could do half stars lol. I’d say this was a solid 3.5. Pretty predictable, the title basically tells the entire story without having to read it. The part while Shaka is still in prison seems repetitive and drawn out for far too long: they write deep and meaningful letters, she goes to see him, sometimes she can’t make it, he gets upset, and she is left feeling guilty, repeat over and over. However, while reading memoirs, I can’t judge the content, as it is someone’s real life. If this is how it went, it’s just how it went and I won’t shade her for it. I also didn’t like how the novel ended - basically, she leaves and there’s no inspirational follow up or anything lol. I feel like I went on an emotional roller coaster with Ebony & then she doesn’t tell me what happens after all is said and done. Did she leave for good? Did she find love again? Was she happy? I do hope all of these things happened for her, but it left me hanging in the end without the loose ends tied up.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 13, 2020
Praise toward Ebony Roberts wrote a beautiful memoir with such courage on a personal and intimate matter. Realization how as little girls we want the fairy tale life and as we get older push it in the back of your mind when you are in a relationship trying to please your partner in denial of all the signs of bad behavior for the fairy tale we keep tucked in our minds. Having the courage to walk away knowing you had enough to what not to tolerate in an exhausting relationship- finally forgiving to release that burden off her shoulders to concentrate fully on herself and her son Sekou.
I felt what she was going through when she had her son. While I was reading the part about her having her son, I caught myself prying along for her to have a healthy baby.
It was good to know about how the prison system works
This book would be a good library group discussion.
I felt what she was going through when she had her son. While I was reading the part about her having her son, I caught myself prying along for her to have a healthy baby.
It was good to know about how the prison system works
This book would be a good library group discussion.
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