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The MILF Next Door
Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Relationship: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
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“Do you think she's pretty?”
“Yes. I think she’s really… pretty,” Emma coughs. Hopes she can pass off her tomato face as a heat symptom.
“And smart?”
“Mhmm.”
“And nice?”
“Kid, if this is your way of interrogating me for your mom’s friendship, then yes. I think she's super pretty, super smart, and super nice. Sometimes,” Emma adds as an afterthought. Because Regina can still be a Super Bitch. “She’s also a total MILF, so there's that.”
Henry wrinkles his nose. “What's a MILF?”
“Madame I’d like to friend.”
“Oh.”
Or -- In the dead of night, Emma stumbles across a lonely boy and his mom. The neighbor AU.
Relationship: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
--------------------------------------------------
“Do you think she's pretty?”
“Yes. I think she’s really… pretty,” Emma coughs. Hopes she can pass off her tomato face as a heat symptom.
“And smart?”
“Mhmm.”
“And nice?”
“Kid, if this is your way of interrogating me for your mom’s friendship, then yes. I think she's super pretty, super smart, and super nice. Sometimes,” Emma adds as an afterthought. Because Regina can still be a Super Bitch. “She’s also a total MILF, so there's that.”
Henry wrinkles his nose. “What's a MILF?”
“Madame I’d like to friend.”
“Oh.”
Or -- In the dead of night, Emma stumbles across a lonely boy and his mom. The neighbor AU.
186 pages, ebook
Published September 30, 2018
2 people are currently reading
78 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
October 3, 2018
misscanteloupe is back!
This person has become one of my absolute favorite SQ fiction writers. If you haven't yet read "Emma Swan, Professional Cuddler" or "Kissing Regina Mills" or any of her other amazing fics, what are you waiting for?
In this tale Emma finds a young boy named Henry who broke into her basement and is looking for Frodo, his ferret. It turns out that he and his mom are her new neighbors so Emma decides to walk him home and to introduce herself. She did not however expect his mom to be a total MILF but as gorgeous as this woman is, she's just as rude! Emma stomps off to her house muttering to herself about the snob next door when she glances out her bedroom window at a set of curtains that were closed for a long time. Except now they're open and someone is about to look right back at her.
So how do you go from despising your neighbor to falling head overheels boots for her? Simple, throw in 2 meddling roommates, 1 slightly deranged sister, 1 puppy eyed little boy and a runaway ferret. Success guaranteed!
Though this fic is full of funny moments and mishaps, at its core are a mother and son looking for a real home and a sense of belonging. It's a sweet story with a slow burn and lots of mutual pining. The only thing I didn't like was Regina's reasoning for a certain choice she made towards the end of the book. It didn't make any sense at all to me and felt very contrived. Because of that this gets a 4,25* rating.
*Unless your e-reader supports images it's advisable to read this online since there are several hot and funny images the author included.
This person has become one of my absolute favorite SQ fiction writers. If you haven't yet read "Emma Swan, Professional Cuddler" or "Kissing Regina Mills" or any of her other amazing fics, what are you waiting for?
In this tale Emma finds a young boy named Henry who broke into her basement and is looking for Frodo, his ferret. It turns out that he and his mom are her new neighbors so Emma decides to walk him home and to introduce herself. She did not however expect his mom to be a total MILF but as gorgeous as this woman is, she's just as rude! Emma stomps off to her house muttering to herself about the snob next door when she glances out her bedroom window at a set of curtains that were closed for a long time. Except now they're open and someone is about to look right back at her.
So how do you go from despising your neighbor to falling head over
Though this fic is full of funny moments and mishaps, at its core are a mother and son looking for a real home and a sense of belonging. It's a sweet story with a slow burn and lots of mutual pining. The only thing I didn't like was Regina's reasoning for a certain choice she made towards the end of the book. It didn't make any sense at all to me and felt very contrived. Because of that this gets a 4,25* rating.
*Unless your e-reader supports images it's advisable to read this online since there are several hot and funny images the author included.
October 30, 2018
This was a really enjoyable fluffy and comedic read. I found the writing quality to be better than most professionally published books these days. Recommend if you're looking for an entertaining romance with some decent comedy and sexual tension.
October 2, 2018
Misscanteloupe is an unquestionable reading for me, I've been realizing it over time.
So when I knew she was writing something for SQSN, I was super anxious to see what magnificent work she could do this time. Well, I can confidently say that I was not disappointed.
Dipping some aspects that was brought into her previous stories such as 'Emma, a professional cuddler', the narrative will focus on Emma who is a professional trainer and who one day meets a 10 year old boy in her basement.
After learning that the 10 year old boy broke her window in search of his ferret she takes him to the house next to hers. Turns out that the boy is the son of her new neighbor, a neighbor who until then she hasn't been introduced.
When meeting her new neighbor, Emma suffers some kind of brain damage (which is understandable since ... Regina Mills, folks! That should be enough to explain this.), She is reduced to an idiot who only knows how to drool over Regina, until the new neighbor treats her super bad and that irresistible chemistry stuffed with insults fills the air.
For a while, Emma hates her neighbor with an intensity that she herself is surprised at. Regina is still her snark self, who plays ironies and sarcasms to Emma every time she sees her. And Emma is the stubborn who is always provoking these reactions (rightly or wrongly).
But Henry, son of Regina (I prefer this version of Henry, young, cute and adorable) continues to contact Emma and to link these two stubborn women together.
The two build an attempted friendship throughout the story and Emma sees herself longing for Regina with increasing frequency. And although Regina flirts a few times with Emma, Emma dies of fear of interpreting things in a wrong way.
In order not to extend myself, the story is very funny and cute (seriously, a misscanteloupe kinda of thing). Unlike 'Kissing Regina Mills', this narrative doesn't contain as many graphic details (erotic), but is just as provocative and hilarious.
The additional touch of images in the middle of the text is also an attractive to the story, so if you read on some device like kindle, check to see if in you download the file came with the pictures (in my kindle the pictures appeared normally but it is always good to warn).
ALSO,This cover is wonderful! And the title !!! I laughed so hard when I first saw this.
Anyway, here's one more story to put on my favorite list and read again someday.
I also find it interesting to add that the author says in one note that she was fighting a writer block, but that she finally got to start and finish this story. Sometimes we forget how authors who are so wonderful at writing interesting and amazing stories can suffer from a "bad period".
Lastly, 5 stars because I can't give a thousand
So when I knew she was writing something for SQSN, I was super anxious to see what magnificent work she could do this time. Well, I can confidently say that I was not disappointed.
Dipping some aspects that was brought into her previous stories such as 'Emma, a professional cuddler', the narrative will focus on Emma who is a professional trainer and who one day meets a 10 year old boy in her basement.
After learning that the 10 year old boy broke her window in search of his ferret she takes him to the house next to hers. Turns out that the boy is the son of her new neighbor, a neighbor who until then she hasn't been introduced.
When meeting her new neighbor, Emma suffers some kind of brain damage (which is understandable since ... Regina Mills, folks! That should be enough to explain this.), She is reduced to an idiot who only knows how to drool over Regina, until the new neighbor treats her super bad and that irresistible chemistry stuffed with insults fills the air.
For a while, Emma hates her neighbor with an intensity that she herself is surprised at. Regina is still her snark self, who plays ironies and sarcasms to Emma every time she sees her. And Emma is the stubborn who is always provoking these reactions (rightly or wrongly).
But Henry, son of Regina (I prefer this version of Henry, young, cute and adorable) continues to contact Emma and to link these two stubborn women together.
The two build an attempted friendship throughout the story and Emma sees herself longing for Regina with increasing frequency. And although Regina flirts a few times with Emma, Emma dies of fear of interpreting things in a wrong way.
In order not to extend myself, the story is very funny and cute (seriously, a misscanteloupe kinda of thing). Unlike 'Kissing Regina Mills', this narrative doesn't contain as many graphic details (erotic), but is just as provocative and hilarious.
The additional touch of images in the middle of the text is also an attractive to the story, so if you read on some device like kindle, check to see if in you download the file came with the pictures (in my kindle the pictures appeared normally but it is always good to warn).
ALSO,This cover is wonderful! And the title !!! I laughed so hard when I first saw this.
Anyway, here's one more story to put on my favorite list and read again someday.
I also find it interesting to add that the author says in one note that she was fighting a writer block, but that she finally got to start and finish this story. Sometimes we forget how authors who are so wonderful at writing interesting and amazing stories can suffer from a "bad period".
Lastly, 5 stars because I can't give a thousand
October 3, 2018
The MILF Next Door is an absolute hoot and I am so happy The Swan Queen Supernova III was the occasion to get misscanteloupe writing again.
It is such a rolicking good time with all the elements in place to make a Swan Queen story perfect. We have it told from Emma Swan’s pov and I prefer that to be honest because she is the open book of the two. To have her figure out the hard-to-read Regina Mills is much more fun.
We have Emma’s 2 roommates Ruby -the hilarious slutty one – and Mulan - the quiet one with hidden depths - and in a smaller role - Mary Margaret who’s surprisingly kinky and of course Regina’s sister Zelena who’s as subtle as a sledgehammer but fantastic comic relief. Henry is 9 going on 10 and really adorable.
There are loads of reverences to the show but you can read it with no problems even if you haven’t seen all 7 seasons. Great pace, some contrived angst and even some very hot sex (always an unexpected bonus in a comedy). No self-respecting die-hard Swen can afford to miss this one!
“So tell me, Emma, ” Zelena drones across from her. She twirls a red curl around a finger. “Are you a natural blonde?”
They're seated on the dining table while Regina finishes up in the kitchen. Emma wishes the kid was at least here to get her through this train wreck.
Emma touches her hair. “Yes?”
“Really now? So does the spoon fit the teacup?” Zelena leans in, fascinated.
What the fuck does that even mean?
“What?”
“Does the bush match the tree?”
“What?”
“Oh, bloody hell,” Zelena exclaims and rolls her eyes skyward, as if it's Emma’s fault this lady’s insane. “Does the carpet match the drapes?”
“Yes,” Emma answers hotly. “My pubic hair is nice and blonde, thanks for asking. Would you like to know the consistency of my vagina while you're at it?”
f/f
Themes: another Swan Queen classic in the making.
4 stars
It is such a rolicking good time with all the elements in place to make a Swan Queen story perfect. We have it told from Emma Swan’s pov and I prefer that to be honest because she is the open book of the two. To have her figure out the hard-to-read Regina Mills is much more fun.
We have Emma’s 2 roommates Ruby -the hilarious slutty one – and Mulan - the quiet one with hidden depths - and in a smaller role - Mary Margaret who’s surprisingly kinky and of course Regina’s sister Zelena who’s as subtle as a sledgehammer but fantastic comic relief. Henry is 9 going on 10 and really adorable.
There are loads of reverences to the show but you can read it with no problems even if you haven’t seen all 7 seasons. Great pace, some contrived angst and even some very hot sex (always an unexpected bonus in a comedy). No self-respecting die-hard Swen can afford to miss this one!
“So tell me, Emma, ” Zelena drones across from her. She twirls a red curl around a finger. “Are you a natural blonde?”
They're seated on the dining table while Regina finishes up in the kitchen. Emma wishes the kid was at least here to get her through this train wreck.
Emma touches her hair. “Yes?”
“Really now? So does the spoon fit the teacup?” Zelena leans in, fascinated.
What the fuck does that even mean?
“What?”
“Does the bush match the tree?”
“What?”
“Oh, bloody hell,” Zelena exclaims and rolls her eyes skyward, as if it's Emma’s fault this lady’s insane. “Does the carpet match the drapes?”
“Yes,” Emma answers hotly. “My pubic hair is nice and blonde, thanks for asking. Would you like to know the consistency of my vagina while you're at it?”
f/f
Themes: another Swan Queen classic in the making.
4 stars
October 5, 2018
4.5 stars rounded up to 5 Stars.
Ok, THIS is my favorite misscanteloupe Once Upon a Time fanfic. I think the last one I read of hers, I said the same thing. You don't have to have seen the show to enjoy the story but it might help. I've only seen a few first season episodes myself. This is an Alt Fic - it doesn't take place in the OUAT universe but it does share characters.
The book synopsis is very good. Emma befriends 9 year old Henry, who just moved in next door with his gorgeous mother, Regina. Unfortunately, neither of the ladies makes a good first impression - Emma thinks Regina is a "Grade-A asshole, a bitch, but definitely a MILF. Regina tells Emma to stay away from her son because she is a bad influence, while sneering at Emma's appearance. Granted at the time Emma is wearing her roommate's "Skanky" nightgown she had borrowed. And so the slow burn begins...
Henry is a lonely kid. Never had friends in his previous school and now his only friend is Emma. So Henry continues to visit Emma, inviting her to spend time with him and his Mom, much to Regina's chagrin.
There are 3 main side characters, Emma's 2 roommates Ruby and Mulan and Ragina's outrageous sister Zelana. All three are pushing for Emma and Regina in their own special ways.
If you decide to read it, make sure your ereader can download the jpgs. At the very least for Regina's (actress Lana Parrilla) Tinder photograph that the author created. Sizzling HOT. Emma can't stop looking at the photo, but who could blame her? If you are on the fence to read this story, go ahead and check out photo, you'll get off the fence.
EDIT: I almost forgot the best part. It was the feeling I had when I reached "The End". You know that feeling, the feeling of Wow. That was a satisfying ending and I really enjoyed the story. I was tempted to re-read it immediately. But alas my TBR pile is about to topple.
Ok, THIS is my favorite misscanteloupe Once Upon a Time fanfic. I think the last one I read of hers, I said the same thing. You don't have to have seen the show to enjoy the story but it might help. I've only seen a few first season episodes myself. This is an Alt Fic - it doesn't take place in the OUAT universe but it does share characters.
The book synopsis is very good. Emma befriends 9 year old Henry, who just moved in next door with his gorgeous mother, Regina. Unfortunately, neither of the ladies makes a good first impression - Emma thinks Regina is a "Grade-A asshole, a bitch, but definitely a MILF. Regina tells Emma to stay away from her son because she is a bad influence, while sneering at Emma's appearance. Granted at the time Emma is wearing her roommate's "Skanky" nightgown she had borrowed. And so the slow burn begins...
Henry is a lonely kid. Never had friends in his previous school and now his only friend is Emma. So Henry continues to visit Emma, inviting her to spend time with him and his Mom, much to Regina's chagrin.
There are 3 main side characters, Emma's 2 roommates Ruby and Mulan and Ragina's outrageous sister Zelana. All three are pushing for Emma and Regina in their own special ways.
If you decide to read it, make sure your ereader can download the jpgs. At the very least for Regina's (actress Lana Parrilla) Tinder photograph that the author created. Sizzling HOT. Emma can't stop looking at the photo, but who could blame her? If you are on the fence to read this story, go ahead and check out photo, you'll get off the fence.
EDIT: I almost forgot the best part. It was the feeling I had when I reached "The End". You know that feeling, the feeling of Wow. That was a satisfying ending and I really enjoyed the story. I was tempted to re-read it immediately. But alas my TBR pile is about to topple.
May 26, 2020
Want to take a break from heavy SQ fanfics? Check this one out.
This story is so cute it reminded me of having a teenage crush lol. Ever heard of the term "useless lesbian?" Well, Emma here is happy to demonstrate that us bisexuals could be just as useless 🤣 If anyone could make adorably dumb work, Emma's our girl. Whatever would she do without Ruby and Mulan? And Zelena too! Sheesh!
I haven't read a single SQ fanfic where our little Henry isn't cute. Actually, it doesn't matter what age these fics portray him as: a young boy, a teenager, a young man — Henry Mills is cute. It's a universal truth.
And then there's Regina... Dear Regina we'd all like to befriend 😅 I thoroughly enjoyed her moments with Emma by the Window.
I'm sorry if this review seems all over the place. I'm trying hard not to spoil things. Aside from me emphasizing this is a feel-good read, the only other things you really need to know are my reasons for not giving it 5 stars:
1. Regina's questionable decision that got the ball rolling
2. Our MCs getting together ONLY near the end (I wanted to see more of them as a couple! 🥺👉👈)
Still not convinced to read this? Here's a tidbit to fix that: *whispers* There may or may not have been some... s t r i p t e a s e 😉
*Note: Read it with images!
This story is so cute it reminded me of having a teenage crush lol. Ever heard of the term "useless lesbian?" Well, Emma here is happy to demonstrate that us bisexuals could be just as useless 🤣 If anyone could make adorably dumb work, Emma's our girl. Whatever would she do without Ruby and Mulan? And Zelena too! Sheesh!
I haven't read a single SQ fanfic where our little Henry isn't cute. Actually, it doesn't matter what age these fics portray him as: a young boy, a teenager, a young man — Henry Mills is cute. It's a universal truth.
And then there's Regina... Dear Regina we'd all like to befriend 😅 I thoroughly enjoyed her moments with Emma by the Window.
I'm sorry if this review seems all over the place. I'm trying hard not to spoil things. Aside from me emphasizing this is a feel-good read, the only other things you really need to know are my reasons for not giving it 5 stars:
1. Regina's questionable decision that got the ball rolling
2. Our MCs getting together ONLY near the end (I wanted to see more of them as a couple! 🥺👉👈)
Still not convinced to read this? Here's a tidbit to fix that: *whispers* There may or may not have been some... s t r i p t e a s e 😉
*Note: Read it with images!
July 18, 2020
I have become the biggest sucker for Misscanteloupe's writing even to the point of watching the TV show, "Once upon a time" on which the series was based, which I didn't enjoy. I always seem to enjoy Misscanteloupe. This is a long version for her fan fiction and I would recommend others, such as "Wedding Crasher" and "Emma Swan: Professional Cuddler".
October 8, 2018
Lovely slow-burn romance between neighbours. Emma finds a small child in her house chasing a ferret and when she returns the child and ferret she meets her gorgeous new neighbour, Regina. It's got great humour and lots of slow circling of one another.
January 24, 2024
Lo amé, el titulo no me prometía tanto pero wow me encantó.
February 21, 2022
4 stars. Loved the enemies to lovers and all the sexual tension and hostility between Emma and Regina. The side characters were fun and Henry was super adorable and I loved how quickly he took to Emma. I liked the slow burn of the romance between Emma and Regina and there was definitely chemistry there but I will say that I found the drama in the end to be a bit forced. It was overdramatic for no reason and Regina was completely in the wrong but then it's written as if Emma was when she wasn't. I didn't like that but everything wraps up well even though I would've loved to see them be a couple for a bit longer. They don't get together until the very end which was frustrating. Still a fun read but not a favorite.
February 21, 2025
vivo a base de fanfics a este punto!! dios lo divertido que es, es impresionante. lo lei por allá en plena pandemia y decidí releerlo ahora: mejor decisión que pude haber tomado 10/10.
se sufre, se ama, se grita, TODO. henry es lo más, super tierno y divertido. ruby y mulan son re graciosas con todas las apuestas que hacen, y ZELENA HAJHJSAHSJKAJS que genia la amo. un lujo su personaje.
en fin, regina y emma son canon y no me importa lo que me digan. swanqueen 4 ever.
se sufre, se ama, se grita, TODO. henry es lo más, super tierno y divertido. ruby y mulan son re graciosas con todas las apuestas que hacen, y ZELENA HAJHJSAHSJKAJS que genia la amo. un lujo su personaje.
en fin, regina y emma son canon y no me importa lo que me digan. swanqueen 4 ever.
August 9, 2020
Very enjoyable read from misscanteloupe.
August 4, 2021
3,5.
Como amo a mini Henry en los fanfics askadas
Como amo a mini Henry en los fanfics askadas
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