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The Right Fight: How to Live a Loving Life
What is the opposite of love? Many would say hate, but studying the Bible reveals that it is actually fear. Fear leads us to make harmful decisions and live unproductive, unhappy, and unfruitful lives. Love is the key to a fruitful life, but love must be more than a feeling. Love must be an action, a choice. Choosing love over fear is the most powerful choice we can make.
Kenny Vaughan brings this timeless discussion back to the forefront of our spiritual exploration by teaching us to view life as a fruit-bearing tree. When we feed the roots with love, the tree flourishes, and we enjoy the blessings that grow upon it. If we deprive our roots, however if we allow fear to cut us off from love then the whole tree withers and dies. Utilizing both Scripture and anecdotes from modern life, The Right Fight teaches us how to tend our roots, grow our fruit, and, through the grace of God, cast fear out for good.
Kenny Vaughan brings this timeless discussion back to the forefront of our spiritual exploration by teaching us to view life as a fruit-bearing tree. When we feed the roots with love, the tree flourishes, and we enjoy the blessings that grow upon it. If we deprive our roots, however if we allow fear to cut us off from love then the whole tree withers and dies. Utilizing both Scripture and anecdotes from modern life, The Right Fight teaches us how to tend our roots, grow our fruit, and, through the grace of God, cast fear out for good.
- GenresChristian
Kindle Edition
Published September 26, 2018
126 people are currently reading
226 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
January 31, 2020
A nice refresher on truly living lovingly in-spite of whatever we face. In particular, loving those who may have caused us to become callous. John Kennedy truly redirects us to focus on Christ's love and then how we can grow roots that shatters even the hardest of circumstances. A pretty quick read, with lots of little nuggets.
October 23, 2018
Clear Wisdom
Underscoring the truth about love as an act, the book makes it clear that regard for others over self is paramount. A very good read.
Underscoring the truth about love as an act, the book makes it clear that regard for others over self is paramount. A very good read.
December 12, 2018
Wow, what a great book
Would recommend for all to read. I didn't truly understand what it was to love until I read this. It has taught me so much.
Would recommend for all to read. I didn't truly understand what it was to love until I read this. It has taught me so much.
October 4, 2022
You can chase your dreams as much as you want and be afraid of failure. Releasing that fear and knowing you did your absolute best and giving it to God is when success begins.
-Fear of not getting into Physical Therapy School. I did my best in the applying process. I did my best in the Interview. I tried my best for God and his glory. I can’t be disappointed.
-The same goes for my marriage with Courtney. I tried my absolute best, and I am leaving it into Gods hands. I can’t be ashamed or disappoint in my failure. I did my best for God and this marriage.
Love is not a feeling, but a choice. If we believe the feeling of love is love itself, then we will fight for the feeling instead of fighting for love.
When someone hurts you, they steal a part of your fruit and leaves from your tree. Typically this is done by someone who doesn’t have all his or her good roots connected to the 7 roots of love in 1 Corinthians. The person who had their tree messed up didn’t deserve this to happen to their tree. If you are willing to wait and stay in love, those fruits and leaves will grow back. It just takes time. If you don’t have the time and patience to wait, and instead get angry and attack back at someone because they hurt you, you are losing your roots in love. Even if we go get our fruit back, it will be rotten and can’t be put back on the tree. Therefor we have obtained rotten fruit, and we cut the roots off that we grew towards love to produce more fruit. The people who hurt us can’t restore us, and we can’t restore ourselves.
“Fearful decisions are deceitful. A friend of mine often says it like this: “Fear will take you farther than you wanted to go, it will keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and it will cost you more than you wanted to pay.””
“Whoever took from you or hurt you for what seems like no reason did not define anyone but themselves by their actions.”
“You, as the injured party, have had something taken from you, but if you stay rooted in love, that cost will be restored.”
“ Do not allow someone to constantly take advantage of you. If someone is abusive or hurts you again and again, they are hurting you and destroying themselves. Love them enough to tell them the truth about what they are doing, and if they won’t stop, love them enough to walk away so they do not continue to hurt themselves with their unloving acts.”
“ If a person is continually unloving toward us and continues to abuse our trust, we are not helping them by allowing them to continue to hurt us and destroy themselves. When they will not change, the solution is to lovingly walk away—still encouraging them to change—so they can no longer hurt themselves with unloving actions. Live in hope that they will change, but for their sake, stay gone until they do.”
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego last words before entering the furnace were, “Our God will deliver us, but even if He doesn’t, we will not bow to your idol, O King.” I hope I have the faith to believe my God will deliver me and the courage to say, whether he delivers me or not, I will still love him no matter what trials I am faced with.
Tammie was mad that Kenny wasn’t holding her at night. He decided to hold her and she pushed his arm off saying “I want you to hold me because you want to, not because I told you to.” “ With a little more thought, I considered that it was a blessing to have a wife who love me enough to be hurt when I would hold her.” “ The more I thought about it, the more I realize that even though I didn’t want to hold her for me, I did want to hold her for her. A little sweat or loss of sleep with a cheap price to pay for the love in life she was giving me. Heck, if I can make that small sacrifice for my wife and life companion, I wasn’t worth keeping.”
To be a leader, first, they need to believe that you have some knowledge of where you were going. Second, they need to know you won’t sacrifice them for the mission. Finally, they need to believe you won’t sacrifice them for yourself. A true leader would rather sacrifice themselves, and they will honor the truth.
Strength always projects humility, and fear always projects strength. Do your best and don’t be afraid of the outcome. You are doing your best for Gods glory.
“No matter how much longer a job takes, always let your kids help if they want to. They learned that way, they grow closer to you, and it builds their confidence.“
“ In some cases, one person can love and love and love and never receive love, because the other person won’t or can’t find the courage to love back. At some point, in those cases, the most loving thing the loving person can do is walk away for the sake of the selfish person. I don’t think the loving person should ever Stop choosing to love. If a person will forever persist in selfishness, at some point a loving person Becomes selfish by not being willing to suffer the heart break or uncertainty of separation, even though the loving person is enabling the selfish person to live a fruitless life.”
“ Sometimes, after we have exhausted all other efforts, if a person persists in selfishness, we must love them enough to walk away. If we don’t walk away, the other person will never grow or change, and we have enabled the other person to live a Fruitless and fearful life— something love would never do.”
If someone is abusing you, then your loving no one by allowing it. Abusers grieve the deaths of their loved ones more because they had nothing and were living off the fruits of their partner. The abused feels grief as well, but they have not lost everything because their roots are still in love. Abusers cry more at funerals when their spouses die compared to abused spouses.
“Almost everyone has the courage to love when they are loved. The question is who among us will love when they are not loved, because for them love will rule their lives no matter what.”
“ Love is a decision, not a feeling. In all of life, there are two main motives behind every action and thought. Everything is either centered in the self or centered in others. Self will always look out for self, and love will always look out for others. It is easy to search for peace in this life and start looking out for yourself. The problem with looking out for yourself is that, in the end, all you have is yourself, and self was never meant to love self. We were meant to love others. When all we have is ourselves, we are empty and find a little motivation to find or fight our way out of our trials. We feel hopeless.”
“For yourself, you may have a hard time finding your way out of whatever trials you encounter. For others, for love, and for your Lord, you can do more than you ever dreamed.”
“ Sometimes love gets us into things that only love can get us out of, but once we are in the fire, we too often abandon love to protect ourselves, not realizing that selfishness may insure we never get out.”
“ The one thing that must come before resurrection is death. The death of the old heart makes way for the truly loving heart to grow.”
Matthew 19:30
“But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first”
Love others and care for them before yourself. People cherish those that love others before themselves and put them first as well. If you love yourself before other, nobody wants to put you in front of them, and you will be last.
-Fear of not getting into Physical Therapy School. I did my best in the applying process. I did my best in the Interview. I tried my best for God and his glory. I can’t be disappointed.
-The same goes for my marriage with Courtney. I tried my absolute best, and I am leaving it into Gods hands. I can’t be ashamed or disappoint in my failure. I did my best for God and this marriage.
Love is not a feeling, but a choice. If we believe the feeling of love is love itself, then we will fight for the feeling instead of fighting for love.
When someone hurts you, they steal a part of your fruit and leaves from your tree. Typically this is done by someone who doesn’t have all his or her good roots connected to the 7 roots of love in 1 Corinthians. The person who had their tree messed up didn’t deserve this to happen to their tree. If you are willing to wait and stay in love, those fruits and leaves will grow back. It just takes time. If you don’t have the time and patience to wait, and instead get angry and attack back at someone because they hurt you, you are losing your roots in love. Even if we go get our fruit back, it will be rotten and can’t be put back on the tree. Therefor we have obtained rotten fruit, and we cut the roots off that we grew towards love to produce more fruit. The people who hurt us can’t restore us, and we can’t restore ourselves.
“Fearful decisions are deceitful. A friend of mine often says it like this: “Fear will take you farther than you wanted to go, it will keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and it will cost you more than you wanted to pay.””
“Whoever took from you or hurt you for what seems like no reason did not define anyone but themselves by their actions.”
“You, as the injured party, have had something taken from you, but if you stay rooted in love, that cost will be restored.”
“ Do not allow someone to constantly take advantage of you. If someone is abusive or hurts you again and again, they are hurting you and destroying themselves. Love them enough to tell them the truth about what they are doing, and if they won’t stop, love them enough to walk away so they do not continue to hurt themselves with their unloving acts.”
“ If a person is continually unloving toward us and continues to abuse our trust, we are not helping them by allowing them to continue to hurt us and destroy themselves. When they will not change, the solution is to lovingly walk away—still encouraging them to change—so they can no longer hurt themselves with unloving actions. Live in hope that they will change, but for their sake, stay gone until they do.”
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego last words before entering the furnace were, “Our God will deliver us, but even if He doesn’t, we will not bow to your idol, O King.” I hope I have the faith to believe my God will deliver me and the courage to say, whether he delivers me or not, I will still love him no matter what trials I am faced with.
Tammie was mad that Kenny wasn’t holding her at night. He decided to hold her and she pushed his arm off saying “I want you to hold me because you want to, not because I told you to.” “ With a little more thought, I considered that it was a blessing to have a wife who love me enough to be hurt when I would hold her.” “ The more I thought about it, the more I realize that even though I didn’t want to hold her for me, I did want to hold her for her. A little sweat or loss of sleep with a cheap price to pay for the love in life she was giving me. Heck, if I can make that small sacrifice for my wife and life companion, I wasn’t worth keeping.”
To be a leader, first, they need to believe that you have some knowledge of where you were going. Second, they need to know you won’t sacrifice them for the mission. Finally, they need to believe you won’t sacrifice them for yourself. A true leader would rather sacrifice themselves, and they will honor the truth.
Strength always projects humility, and fear always projects strength. Do your best and don’t be afraid of the outcome. You are doing your best for Gods glory.
“No matter how much longer a job takes, always let your kids help if they want to. They learned that way, they grow closer to you, and it builds their confidence.“
“ In some cases, one person can love and love and love and never receive love, because the other person won’t or can’t find the courage to love back. At some point, in those cases, the most loving thing the loving person can do is walk away for the sake of the selfish person. I don’t think the loving person should ever Stop choosing to love. If a person will forever persist in selfishness, at some point a loving person Becomes selfish by not being willing to suffer the heart break or uncertainty of separation, even though the loving person is enabling the selfish person to live a fruitless life.”
“ Sometimes, after we have exhausted all other efforts, if a person persists in selfishness, we must love them enough to walk away. If we don’t walk away, the other person will never grow or change, and we have enabled the other person to live a Fruitless and fearful life— something love would never do.”
If someone is abusing you, then your loving no one by allowing it. Abusers grieve the deaths of their loved ones more because they had nothing and were living off the fruits of their partner. The abused feels grief as well, but they have not lost everything because their roots are still in love. Abusers cry more at funerals when their spouses die compared to abused spouses.
“Almost everyone has the courage to love when they are loved. The question is who among us will love when they are not loved, because for them love will rule their lives no matter what.”
“ Love is a decision, not a feeling. In all of life, there are two main motives behind every action and thought. Everything is either centered in the self or centered in others. Self will always look out for self, and love will always look out for others. It is easy to search for peace in this life and start looking out for yourself. The problem with looking out for yourself is that, in the end, all you have is yourself, and self was never meant to love self. We were meant to love others. When all we have is ourselves, we are empty and find a little motivation to find or fight our way out of our trials. We feel hopeless.”
“For yourself, you may have a hard time finding your way out of whatever trials you encounter. For others, for love, and for your Lord, you can do more than you ever dreamed.”
“ Sometimes love gets us into things that only love can get us out of, but once we are in the fire, we too often abandon love to protect ourselves, not realizing that selfishness may insure we never get out.”
“ The one thing that must come before resurrection is death. The death of the old heart makes way for the truly loving heart to grow.”
Matthew 19:30
“But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first”
Love others and care for them before yourself. People cherish those that love others before themselves and put them first as well. If you love yourself before other, nobody wants to put you in front of them, and you will be last.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 17, 2024
Great book. Kenny (author) is serving God through helping everyday people to understand how God loves. His revelation on selfless love is, what I believe, the love that Christ models and His intention for how we should love. I think the book honestly testifies the biblical truth of what love is. So Why not 5 stars in my rating? Some concepts in the book are difficult to understand and the writing occasionally struggles to articulate clearly. But I give five stars to the content of the book and the heart, courage, and selflessness of the author. I loved the book Kenny. It has already changed my views on life and my roots. And I pray that the book and those it helps, bares much fruit in your life.
January 1, 2023
The book needed a better editor. The material is good but thin. Perhaps a better fit for teens. He mentions many times that he presented this material to young people.
The business of people “stealing” my fruit is strange to me. I can’t eat my fruit. It’s there for others. What they do with it is not my concern.
Lastly, I don’t think everything boils down to love or fear. I’m not even sure that I agree that fear is the opposite of love.
I’m sorry to be cutting in this review. He seems like a great guy. His social media presence is probably really great. But, not a high level author.
The business of people “stealing” my fruit is strange to me. I can’t eat my fruit. It’s there for others. What they do with it is not my concern.
Lastly, I don’t think everything boils down to love or fear. I’m not even sure that I agree that fear is the opposite of love.
I’m sorry to be cutting in this review. He seems like a great guy. His social media presence is probably really great. But, not a high level author.
July 20, 2023
Love or fear. The two choices of life. This book poses an insightful argument as to how Christians should navigate this life and allows reflection on what a loving life actually looks like. It’s rich and insightful for all, truly one of the best Christian books I’ve read and could not recommend it enough. It’s for everyone, it enlightens. I’ll end this with one of my favourite quotes from the book: In this life, fear wants us to put ourselves first. It does not trust God to provide and protect. But if we give in to fear, we will find ourselves last, 5/5!
June 20, 2025
Now I Understand!
This book explained some connections that I had been missing. I never understood the relationship between love and fear. I know God is Love but I did not comprehend how Fear represents the opposite of Love. We have been inundated by messages of how self love is what we all need, but that message only has a shred of truth in it. In reality, loving others is the way out of our struggles. I hope you give this book a chance to show you a different perspective. It answered a big question for me and I am grateful!
This book explained some connections that I had been missing. I never understood the relationship between love and fear. I know God is Love but I did not comprehend how Fear represents the opposite of Love. We have been inundated by messages of how self love is what we all need, but that message only has a shred of truth in it. In reality, loving others is the way out of our struggles. I hope you give this book a chance to show you a different perspective. It answered a big question for me and I am grateful!
March 16, 2024
this book should be required reading in every school and home!
This book lays out in easy to understand terms, just how to choose love over fear in your life. Love is the secret. We need more love and less fear in this world, as Jesus came to tell us. It’s a simple concept, but takes patience and perseverance to live it. Kenny Vaughn gives real-life examples and illustrations to make it clear to readers. I highly recommend this book!
This book lays out in easy to understand terms, just how to choose love over fear in your life. Love is the secret. We need more love and less fear in this world, as Jesus came to tell us. It’s a simple concept, but takes patience and perseverance to live it. Kenny Vaughn gives real-life examples and illustrations to make it clear to readers. I highly recommend this book!
August 29, 2024
an insightful read that left a significant impact on me. What resonated most was the clear distinction between what love is and what love is not. The book also emphasized that even when faced with anger or negative emotions, we can still choose to act with love—embodying patience, kindness, and other virtues. Moving forward, this understanding will guide me in responding with love, no matter the situation.
August 11, 2022
wonderful book - I got the audible version and needed to also get a hard copy. Some of the chapters are not easy to visualize otherwise. Completely worth getting in every way...
January 16, 2023
God knew I needed to read this book- to live a more loving life. It’s imperfectly written, with a bit too much of a nod to the author’s company, but has a wonderful message about life and how to come from a place of love over selfishness.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews