Sex: multiple scenes of all kinds
Language: 246 (not typo) F words, 102 Lord's name in vain, 95 S words
Violence: past rape, assault, gunshot, kidnapping
HEA or Cliffhanger: HEA
Do I need to read books before this one: no
Would I read more of the series: no, too much swearing and unanswered questions
I appreciated how the author treated sexual assault healing: that police need tact, that some therapists don't get it, that it takes years to start feeling normal. The plot was predictable, only the execution in question. Why was Dirt involved? Why wasn't Erik his own story? What's the deal with grandparents; why have that?
----SPOILERS----
GF disinherited 16yo Mom when pregnant with Jay. 22yo Mellie inherits his house. 31yo Jay is Chicago PD, Smith is contractor he trusts. House is damaged, 5h away from Chicago.
Friday, Smith scares Mellie when he finally shows for estimate; she has a panic attack. Jay told her 8am, Smith had told him 8pm. Jay and Smith were partners; Jay saved Smith's life.
Mellie was raped 6y ago, doesn't trust anyone. Saturday, she's ripping out carpet, meets neighbor Dale. He scares her with pliers, she runs into Smith who tells Dale to go home. He's not letting Jay's sister get hurt on his watch. His cop instincts say Dale is creepy. Smith's attracted to Mellie. Jay calls Smith, Mellie's scared. He rushes to hotel, someone's pranking her. He holds her, she falls asleep, he stays so chain lock on. He likes her innocence. He offers to give tour after shower. Masturbates fantasizing. She learns she got the house because, when their parents were killed in a drunk driving accident (she was 13), GF came to the funeral, fought with Jay. She was the only family left. They spend all day together; he loves her sunshine, wants more; usually he wants to get away after a little time with women. She invites him into her hotel room, he can't or he'll do something stupid.
Middle of night, she wakes to knocking and scratching at her door. She calls Smith, who's on his way. When the doorknob shakes, he hangs up to call cops. They get there first. After giving statement, she packs to go to a nicer hotel. Stay in my guest room. She does, has nightmare blending making love with Smith and being raped by Norman. Smith wakes her, they want each other. Jay calls. Smith's 33yo, shouldn't be responding like teenage boy. He's having actual feelings. Drives to work, smells her in cab, masochist leaves windows up. At her house, he's grateful for work, because a favor is turning into an obsession. She shows up with lunch for everyone; her behavior makes him think of music video. They hold hands. He stays at work 'til 10pm, she's asleep on couch. While eating, he sees shadow in backyard; nothing. He tells her to go to bed, showers, sees she didn't. He moves her computer to carry her, sees she edits erotic romances. Jay pings her: guy still far away; he won't hurt you again.
Smith left before she woke up. Norman was released early a year ago. She wants to fall in love, have a family, feel safe. She thinks nobody will want a basket case like her. He comes home, she warms dinner, his laundry and dishes done. Not hungry, going to bed. I can go to hotel. No, don't take care of me. Trying to be nice. He confesses his desires yesterday morning, he found out about rape. He makes excuses: “I’m a man, and you’re smart, beautiful, funny… I acted inappropriately. I’m not used to someone so… sweet. I’m so sor—” She kisses him. He pleasures her. She apologizes he didn't climax. He isn't used to his heart having anything to do with sex. M: I don't want you to think I'm using you. S: You're too innocent and sweet to manipulate; I liked how I *felt*, use me anytime you like. She thinks: I’ll never be able to be normal. Smith doesn’t have time for an insecure, inexperienced, damaged girl. As much as I want him, he deserves someone who can give everything.
He watches her shut down and hates it. In the few days I’ve known her, she’s pulled things out of me I thought I’d buried with them when they went into the ground.
Erik calls while Smith is going to work. Erik is his best friend, made an orphan at 15, moved in with Smith's family. A storm made the tree crash through the house and kill his twin sister and parents, Erik took it hard and turned to alcohol. Smith stopped feeling and making commitments. He doesn't work today. He drives to Chicago and brings home her cat. Her smile makes his sore butt worth it.
1.5w later, hasn't seen her since, misses her light. It's Sunday, he knows she doesn't work, so he invites her to work on landscaping the backyard with him. They buy some furniture and a fireplace, she likes roses, so he buys 3 plants. They plant the roses by his GF's car. They eat on the back porch, no talking. He decides to tell her his secret because he knows her secret. He lies on car's roof and counts stars; had a lot of memories with GF and that car. Dinner routine continues for days.
She goes to the store. He calls, very worried because she wasn't home when he got home. She goes to see work they've done on her house on the way home. Her nerves act up. Jay calls; Norman's missing. Norman grabs her. Luckily Smith knew she didn't have new key to house, drives up. Norman gets away because Smith stays with her. Jay gets to hospital in record time, wants to take her home; Smith doesn't want to be a memory. She wakes screaming while they talk outside her room. She doesn't want Jay, she holds Smith. Don't leave. He lies beside her. Jay storms off. Too bad. When she's asleep, he joins Jay, who punches him. She's still coming to Chicago. At home, Smith doesn't pack for her. Jay and Mellie come home, she's upset, storms out, Jay follows. Smith smiles because she didn't pack anything.
1.5w later, Smith calls her. Need carpet decision. She's disappointed. You left your stuff here. I did? Yah, Sunshine. I'll have to come get it. I guess you will; bye, baby. Jay's got her locked in the house and a cop outside. She books a flight, calls a friend for a ride to the airport. When she gets to Smith's house, he isn't home. She waits outside. A woman in stilettos arrives, Can I give him a message? She gets an Uber to her house. Neighbor lady offers help to charge her phone, she goes in house. Richard comes in, Polly runs to pharmacy. Mellie's phone is behind him, she asks for it, he turns it on and wants to know why she has messages from so many men (Jay and Smith). They don't know where you are. Kills fly.
Vivian sexually molests Smith. Before she leaves, she says scared blonde girl here. He searches her house, sees her cowering under man next door. He headlocks the guy, gets Mellie out of there. In the garage, he says he wants her, need to talk. Before they can talk, Smith is arrested for assault. He tells Molly to lock the house; will be back soon. Dad's best friend (bromance before they both got married) is now the mayor. Gerald gets him out, Smith tells him everything. If you don't take a risk, you've already lost her. He goes inside as a storm starts. He won't sleep tonight. Especially because she's in his bed.
In the morning, they affirm they want each other. He doesn't do relationships, but he can't help it with her; she sees he has pain. He wants more happy days with her. His sitch with Vivian was over the day they met. He'll take sex at her speed, just talk to him and don't leave. He pleasures her, fingers are bloody. M: There's more than 1 way to be violated. She was on her back the whole time, Jay prevented more.
He goes downstairs, dry heaves, returns. M: I understand it's a turn off I won't ever do some stuff. S: “There ain’t a damn thing, nothing,”—I emphasize. She really needs to hear me on this—“that you could tell me that would change the way I feel about you. Do you get me? I fell for you the moment I saw you... and I’ve never had that kind of reaction to anyone in my life. And getting to know you, seeing you smile and laugh, that is what I care about. Everything else is trivial, Mellie. But this doubt you seem to have about me needs to end. We didn’t even have to confess how we felt out loud for you to come back, because it’s so deep we didn’t need the words. But now we have them, right? So there doesn’t need to be doubt. You’ve just gotta trust that, trust me to take care of you and make you happy.”
Jay calls Smith, Norman's out to get her. She's staying with me, bring her stuff. Jay: You love her? Smith: Yah, I do. She puts syrup on eggs, Ranch on pizza. She takes him to test French fries in ice cream. She's tired of being afraid, gets a little drunk, shares her rape story. He makes her watch Golden Girls. He wakes her to share sunrise on back porch.
3w they've been tied at the hip. He loves it. In bed, she has tantrum (Mars Venus) because she misses Jay. They digitally please each other. Erik arrives drunk in the middle of the night, almost gets shot. Oral sex in shower before work. After work, Erik is very drunk, Smith goes to bed alone, pushing her away. Because tomorrow is the 7th anniversary of the storm.
She doesn't want to go to work with him because it's too hard to edit there. Smith fills in Erik so he can guard. Mellie gets roses. Erik shows her the news clipping about the family's deaths, cries, she cries with him. Smith's sister, Sophia, was pregnant with Erik's baby; Erik had argued with her that night, that's why she was home. Smith comes home to them hugging, kicks Erik out. She stops it by announcing Sophia's pregnancy. They open up, share photos and stories with Mellie. In bed, Smith says he didn't send flowers. When she sleeps, he goes to Dirt to call in favor: get rid of Norman. When he gets home, he says I love you. They make love without penetration. She asks where he went. He won't tell her. He goes to work. She gets email with picture of him going into strip club: When you can’t give a man what he needs, he’ll either take it or get it somewhere else. She shows Erik, gets tons more dirty pictures emails, vomits while Erik calls Smith. He wants to take her to cabin, she wants to go home. That kills him. On the way to Chicago, a cop pulls him over, handcuffs him to his truck. Norman. He shoots Smith in the leg, will finish the job if she doesn't come.
In Chicago, he's replicated her bedroom exactly, except for locks, padding, barred windows. 3 days. Richard rescues her, has sliced up Norman. As they exit the house, many cops arrest them for leaving crime scene. She asks for Jay, You're his missing sister? In the hospital, a detective is rude, Jay and Smith show. Smith cries. She says I love you, sleeps in his arms. Jay reports: Norman had rented Jay's and Mellie's apartment, then waited. Richard emailed dirty pictures, sent flowers, obsessed. He had external tracking device on phone, picked Norman's locks, stabbed him repeatedly. Neighbor heard screams, called it in. Doctor comes in, gives instructions and name of therapist. She asks to go home. With Smith.
Jay is taking a much needed break, a West Coast road trip. Erik detoxed while she was missing, then left. The house is ready to sell; they found an old box under the back porch. Smith wants kids with her, to tell them it was love at first sight for both of them. Turns out her grandpa dated his grandma, did something to hurt her, the builder of their house (his grandpa) stepped in and married her.
She gets a tattoo: Yours, with a mended heart. On the way out, she bumps into a large man: Tell Smith I still owe him. At home, Smith loves her tattoo. They make love for the first time. She's the boss in bed. And it's OK with both of them that he forgot about protection.
3y later, they have a daughter, conceived that day. They got married before Jaycee Sophia was born. Erik married Polly; is she Richard's Polly? Don't know.