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Finding Holy in the Suburbs: Living Faithfully in the Land of Too Much
Suburban life—including tract homes, strip malls, commuter culture—shapes our desires. More than half of Americans live in the suburbs. Ashley Hales writes that for many Christians, "The suburbs are ignored ('Your place doesn't matter, we're all going to heaven anyway'), denigrated and demeaned ('You're selfish if you live in a suburb; you only care about your own safety and advancement'), or seen as a cop-out from a faithful Christian life ('If you really loved God, you'd move to Africa or work in an impoverished area'). In everything from books to Hollywood jokes, the suburbs aren't supposed to be good for our souls." What does it look like to live a full Christian life in the suburbs? Suburbs reflect our good, God-given desire for a place to call home. And suburbs also reflect our own brokenness. This book is an invitation to look deeply into your soul as a suburbanite and discover what it means to live holy there.
184 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2018
67 people are currently reading
1069 people want to read
About the author
Ashley Hales
8 books42 followersAshley Hales holds a PhD in English from the University of Edinburgh, Scotland. She’s a writer, speaker, the wife to a pastor and mother to 4. She hosts the Finding Holy podcast. She's the author of Finding Holy in the Suburbs and A Spacious Life.
Take your hustle habit quiz and find out how your limits are good at: aspacious.life. Connect with Ashley at aahales.com or on social media at @aahales.
Take your hustle habit quiz and find out how your limits are good at: aspacious.life. Connect with Ashley at aahales.com or on social media at @aahales.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 97 reviews
February 13, 2019
I really commend Finding Holy In The Suburbs for coming out and acknowledging what is mostly true of all recently published popular theology books by women: it is coming from a place of particular privilege and directed to women in similar situations. I do think this could have been more explicitly titled. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been in the Midwest and now North Carolina while Hales writes from Southern California, but her experience of “the suburbs” is much, much more affluent and trendy than mine has ever been. I’ve spent a decade in “the suburbs” and have never had a neighbor who might wear the sorts of brands and live the lifestyle she describes. (The cultural mores she speaks to are certainly not descriptive of my neighborhood as a whole, or my church.) So if I ignore that the word “suburb” doesn’t translate directly across different regions of the country, I appreciate that she has spoken into a particular sliver of society and offered some thoughtful encouragement to ways the good news of Jesus meets the hurts and pains most evident in her particular audience. I would have liked to see stronger challenges about ways we could reevaluate our participation in various aspects of suburban life, and how to discern where mindful engagement is not as effective as intentionally retreating from various endeavors, but I would recommend this to affluent women who are struggling to make sense of their place and home (“To honor God do I need to move to the inner city? Do I need to move to the country?”) amid the larger drama of the now-and-coming kingdom.
May 6, 2020
I thought the author was right on with things that many of us, myself included, need to work on:
less consumerism, busyness, over-obsession with safety, distractedness; more hospitality, generosity, vulnerability. I liked the recommended practices at the end of each chapter and think much good could come from following through on all of them.
My 2 criticisms of this book:
First, I felt that the author's disappointment about moving back to the suburbs co-mingled so strongly with the content of the book that it was sometimes hard to separate out what's an actual sin issue v. what's an aesthetic dislike (or emotional feeling) that might be particular to the author and need not be applied to all of us (examples: suburban walking paths, strip malls, minivans). And for those of us who enjoy some of the features of the suburbs, it takes some work to ignore the disdain for those things, but then to take seriously heart issues that should be examined - and to separate one from the other. I feel like the author could've written a great book about disappointment with where God has called you - kind of like what she did in the conclusion (which was my favorite part) but in long form. I would be very interested in reading something like that, as I've been there (not now, thankfully), and I'm sure many of us have been or will be there.
Second, as others have pointed out, the book to me seemed both over and under-inclusive as describing these as problems of the suburbs. Over-inclusive because many of the examples sited seem relevant mostly to only the most upper class, high end suburbs (and some of the values seem particularly southern Californian). Under-inclusive because some of these problems (busyness, numbing out, consumerism) could be applied to most Americans.
less consumerism, busyness, over-obsession with safety, distractedness; more hospitality, generosity, vulnerability. I liked the recommended practices at the end of each chapter and think much good could come from following through on all of them.
My 2 criticisms of this book:
First, I felt that the author's disappointment about moving back to the suburbs co-mingled so strongly with the content of the book that it was sometimes hard to separate out what's an actual sin issue v. what's an aesthetic dislike (or emotional feeling) that might be particular to the author and need not be applied to all of us (examples: suburban walking paths, strip malls, minivans). And for those of us who enjoy some of the features of the suburbs, it takes some work to ignore the disdain for those things, but then to take seriously heart issues that should be examined - and to separate one from the other. I feel like the author could've written a great book about disappointment with where God has called you - kind of like what she did in the conclusion (which was my favorite part) but in long form. I would be very interested in reading something like that, as I've been there (not now, thankfully), and I'm sure many of us have been or will be there.
Second, as others have pointed out, the book to me seemed both over and under-inclusive as describing these as problems of the suburbs. Over-inclusive because many of the examples sited seem relevant mostly to only the most upper class, high end suburbs (and some of the values seem particularly southern Californian). Under-inclusive because some of these problems (busyness, numbing out, consumerism) could be applied to most Americans.
October 18, 2018
(Full disclosure: I received an advance copy of this book as part of its launch team, but the following is my full and honest opinion.)
I grew up in the northwestern suburbs of Houston, in a private Christian school. My family lived there because it was "safe," even though a lot in our own family wasn't safe (but that's another story for another time). I got out of the suburbs as soon as I could, and here I am, well within the city limits in a rapidly gentrifying neighborhood. But I've found a lot of the same problems I had have followed me here: Materialism, the worship of success, envy of other people who seemed to have their crap together, a feeling of smug superiority to those who just settled for the status quo. (Hi, I'm an Enneagram 4w3, can you tell?)
Enter Ashley's book, Finding Holy in the Suburbs. Don't let the title fool you; it's just as good for us city dwellers as it is for suburbanites. This is a book for those of us who are what Tim Keller would call "middle class in spirit" but who are also trying to follow Jesus in our affluence and privilege. It is convicting and beautiful and true in its call towards generosity and an others-centered, God-focused life. (And did I mention that Ashley's a heck of a writer?)
Anyway! Read this, no matter where you live. Pass it around to your friends and talk about it.
I grew up in the northwestern suburbs of Houston, in a private Christian school. My family lived there because it was "safe," even though a lot in our own family wasn't safe (but that's another story for another time). I got out of the suburbs as soon as I could, and here I am, well within the city limits in a rapidly gentrifying neighborhood. But I've found a lot of the same problems I had have followed me here: Materialism, the worship of success, envy of other people who seemed to have their crap together, a feeling of smug superiority to those who just settled for the status quo. (Hi, I'm an Enneagram 4w3, can you tell?)
Enter Ashley's book, Finding Holy in the Suburbs. Don't let the title fool you; it's just as good for us city dwellers as it is for suburbanites. This is a book for those of us who are what Tim Keller would call "middle class in spirit" but who are also trying to follow Jesus in our affluence and privilege. It is convicting and beautiful and true in its call towards generosity and an others-centered, God-focused life. (And did I mention that Ashley's a heck of a writer?)
Anyway! Read this, no matter where you live. Pass it around to your friends and talk about it.
August 13, 2021
I don't know of another book like this. The sustained focus on the particular temptations and needs of those living in the comfort, and relative ease of American suburbs is disarming, and perceptive. I'm humbled to have my idols named, and I'm challenged to repent. Hales winsomely declares the gospel and calls us to live faithfully in the place that God calls us to live - even if it's not the inner city or a third world country.
Read
October 25, 2018REview pending.
July 20, 2019
Hales offers a compelling invitation to live with purpose and meaning in the middle of the manicured lawns of the suburbs — not by pining after some amorphous ideal we wish we could achieve, but by attending to the reality that Jesus has already changed the world by offering us his presence. This month my husband and I relocated from the West to the gently curved, confusing streets of Charlotte, North Carolina, and after five years of finding my way by noticing the mountains to the west, I feel displaced. And though I have never lived in a suburb and have moved to yet another city, Hales’ book offered me grace to see my new surroundings as a place to find more than my own satisfaction. She writes, “I can never answer the needs of my neighborhood when I’m telling a story that has me at the center instead of us, and when home is a product of what I buy, and when worth is measured in square footage.”
Whether you find yourself situated in the suburbs or not, “Finding Holy in the Suburbs” will guide you to reevaluate your relationship with place. With wisdom borne of personal wrestling with discontentment, Hales exposes four idols common to life in the suburbs (and I’d argue, common to most Western Christians!): consumerism, individualism, busyness and safety. After exposing the ways these idols cause us to live in storylines that can never satisfy, she then points readers to the better story, in which we are held beautifully secure in the love of God. In the better “story of belovedness,” we can live with immense meaning right in the middle of communities that seem to scream we aren’t enough and, in fact, offer a fuller story of love and belonging to everyone we know through faithful presence in the small spaces of our lives. Hales invites readers to step into the fuller story of God’s love in the suburbs through chapters on hospitality, generosity, vulnerability and shalom. At moments the book feels repetitive, but perhaps in the repetition of its central themes it forces us to face truths we would rather gloss over.
Hales pairs honest confession of her own struggle to live rooted and free in her suburban calling and offers generous spiritual insight on practically being formed toward the wholeness she longs for. I particularly loved the way she encourages readers by example to engage their bodies as means to reorient their hearts. The forming of our loves does not exclusively happen with Bibles open but with our whole selves engaged in new habits of being. Each chapter pairs beautiful storytelling with a bold call to live more rooted and connected to our places and people therein, grounding spiritual repositioning in practical steps forward through “counter-liturgies” at the end of every chapter.
If you do not want to ask yourself hard questions, I recommend you don’t buy Hales’ book. If you only want to think theologically about place but don’t want to make actual changes, find a different book. But if you, like me, long to be grounded in a story where the light of God’s kingdom dawns in the faces of your neighbors and in your own humble choices to shift from selfish to secure, in “Finding Holy in the Suburbs” you will find room to repent and wisdom to actually sustain change.
Whether you find yourself situated in the suburbs or not, “Finding Holy in the Suburbs” will guide you to reevaluate your relationship with place. With wisdom borne of personal wrestling with discontentment, Hales exposes four idols common to life in the suburbs (and I’d argue, common to most Western Christians!): consumerism, individualism, busyness and safety. After exposing the ways these idols cause us to live in storylines that can never satisfy, she then points readers to the better story, in which we are held beautifully secure in the love of God. In the better “story of belovedness,” we can live with immense meaning right in the middle of communities that seem to scream we aren’t enough and, in fact, offer a fuller story of love and belonging to everyone we know through faithful presence in the small spaces of our lives. Hales invites readers to step into the fuller story of God’s love in the suburbs through chapters on hospitality, generosity, vulnerability and shalom. At moments the book feels repetitive, but perhaps in the repetition of its central themes it forces us to face truths we would rather gloss over.
Hales pairs honest confession of her own struggle to live rooted and free in her suburban calling and offers generous spiritual insight on practically being formed toward the wholeness she longs for. I particularly loved the way she encourages readers by example to engage their bodies as means to reorient their hearts. The forming of our loves does not exclusively happen with Bibles open but with our whole selves engaged in new habits of being. Each chapter pairs beautiful storytelling with a bold call to live more rooted and connected to our places and people therein, grounding spiritual repositioning in practical steps forward through “counter-liturgies” at the end of every chapter.
If you do not want to ask yourself hard questions, I recommend you don’t buy Hales’ book. If you only want to think theologically about place but don’t want to make actual changes, find a different book. But if you, like me, long to be grounded in a story where the light of God’s kingdom dawns in the faces of your neighbors and in your own humble choices to shift from selfish to secure, in “Finding Holy in the Suburbs” you will find room to repent and wisdom to actually sustain change.
September 14, 2018
I was interested in reading this book because I’ve found myself living… I think, in a suburban area. Well, that is not entirely true. I do live in something similar to the suburbs but I really was interested in reading this book after a conversation about church planting with a friend. We were talking about what church planting could look like, where we would be interested in planting a church and who we would want on our team. I brought up the city of Philadelphia, because I love it there and I love a lot of people that still live there (I graduated school in the area). My friend looked me in the eye and said that she had considered planting a church there to build community, not in the city proper, but in the suburbs of Philly.
It was the first time that I had ever heard of suburban people being one of the least reached population. Because the perception is that the people that live there are “fine”--as though the people in the city are not.
Anyway, Hale does an excellent job bringing to light some of the struggles that people find themselves facing (or not facing if they are unaware of its happening) while living in a suburb. Safety is a expectation of moving into a suburb, but where does trusting God fall into that? How does hospitality and community fall into that if you never see the people that live just across the street?
I frequently found myself wondering if some of these problems might mirror the things that people living in the city have to face. I don’t know if finding holy is a problem specific to suburbanites or more so something people in general have to “find”.
Something else that I appreciated throughout the book was Hale’s mention of how to implement what she had written about at the end of each chapter. Some of the ideas seemed like something we should already be implementing in our lives but sometimes we need someone else to not only mention an idea but to also tell us that those “simple” steps are a part of something monumental.
I received a electronic copy of this title in exchange for my unbiased review.
It was the first time that I had ever heard of suburban people being one of the least reached population. Because the perception is that the people that live there are “fine”--as though the people in the city are not.
Anyway, Hale does an excellent job bringing to light some of the struggles that people find themselves facing (or not facing if they are unaware of its happening) while living in a suburb. Safety is a expectation of moving into a suburb, but where does trusting God fall into that? How does hospitality and community fall into that if you never see the people that live just across the street?
I frequently found myself wondering if some of these problems might mirror the things that people living in the city have to face. I don’t know if finding holy is a problem specific to suburbanites or more so something people in general have to “find”.
Something else that I appreciated throughout the book was Hale’s mention of how to implement what she had written about at the end of each chapter. Some of the ideas seemed like something we should already be implementing in our lives but sometimes we need someone else to not only mention an idea but to also tell us that those “simple” steps are a part of something monumental.
I received a electronic copy of this title in exchange for my unbiased review.
June 29, 2019
I read this book at a time of transition. We are selling our house in a remote but rapidly expanding suburb and moving to a small community 45 minutes from a large city. I grew up living in the country and I've lived in college towns. I agree with one reviewer who noted that this book describes a particular type of suburb, an affluent one. I'm not sure most suburban dwellers would relate but it certainly describes my current community and many others across the country.
The problem is that I wanted the book to address something different. I was looking for some kind of guidance or philosophy about where we live and why and what to do with that. So many people do not have a choice about where they live and even those of us who have choices still may be constricted by job location or living near aging parents. I get frustrated with the underlying guilt of our age. We are told to live a minimalist lifestyle or to move to the inner city but no one addresses the problems with that. If we all live a minimalist lifestyle then the wheels of industry come to a grinding halt and jobs become scarce for everyone. If we all relocate to city neighborhoods we more likely displace those who already live there rather than foster community. I completely agree we as a society are vast consumers and we use material things to fill a gap that only God can fill but we also live in a world that is not likely to return to agrarian and small community-based living. And for those who live in near-poverty or are in constant danger of losing their homes, a better book would have included how to find holy in an impoverished suburb or neighborhood. So my problem with the book is not the fault of the author, I was looking for different answers.
My favorite part of the book was the section at the end of each chapter that gave suggestions for prayer and action.
The problem is that I wanted the book to address something different. I was looking for some kind of guidance or philosophy about where we live and why and what to do with that. So many people do not have a choice about where they live and even those of us who have choices still may be constricted by job location or living near aging parents. I get frustrated with the underlying guilt of our age. We are told to live a minimalist lifestyle or to move to the inner city but no one addresses the problems with that. If we all live a minimalist lifestyle then the wheels of industry come to a grinding halt and jobs become scarce for everyone. If we all relocate to city neighborhoods we more likely displace those who already live there rather than foster community. I completely agree we as a society are vast consumers and we use material things to fill a gap that only God can fill but we also live in a world that is not likely to return to agrarian and small community-based living. And for those who live in near-poverty or are in constant danger of losing their homes, a better book would have included how to find holy in an impoverished suburb or neighborhood. So my problem with the book is not the fault of the author, I was looking for different answers.
My favorite part of the book was the section at the end of each chapter that gave suggestions for prayer and action.
October 11, 2018
Great book for anyone. Love how this book shows you how to be an influncer where you are planted by practical advice and application process for you at end of each chapter.
October 20, 2018
Ashley is a lovely writer. Beautiful writing + solid theological grounding + practical implications are not always present in Christian writing for women, and this book was a refreshing read for those reasons.
But not only for those reasons. This book had me laughing and crying, convicted and longing for more of Jesus. I was grateful to benefit from it even though I don't necessarily live the suburban life. Ashley gets at the heart of our longings – "to belong, to find home, to root ourselves in place," and also the lure of suburban solutions – consumerism, individualism, busyness, safety. She is not afraid to call out our idols and challenge us to consider biblical solutions. She offers practical ways forward for engaging our place, including being rooted in a local church and loving our neighbors. I'm still pondering the many points of impact.
This would be a great book club read. The questions at the end of each chapter would lead to good discussion.
Also, the audiobook was very well done.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher; this review is my own.
But not only for those reasons. This book had me laughing and crying, convicted and longing for more of Jesus. I was grateful to benefit from it even though I don't necessarily live the suburban life. Ashley gets at the heart of our longings – "to belong, to find home, to root ourselves in place," and also the lure of suburban solutions – consumerism, individualism, busyness, safety. She is not afraid to call out our idols and challenge us to consider biblical solutions. She offers practical ways forward for engaging our place, including being rooted in a local church and loving our neighbors. I'm still pondering the many points of impact.
This would be a great book club read. The questions at the end of each chapter would lead to good discussion.
Also, the audiobook was very well done.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher; this review is my own.
January 23, 2019
I found myself tearing up at so many points in this book as I relate so deeply to the author’s own story of being forced to wrestle with moving back to the suburbs. The author does an incredible job of highlighting the idols of the suburbs, giving many practical ideas of how the principle she brings forth in each chapter might be applied in one’s own life and suburb, as well as ultimately pushing the reader towards remembering and reflecting on one’s eternal home and that because we are at home with Christ, we can be home anywhere and be bringers of His shalom to anyone. A needed read for me this year.
Currently reading
January 22, 2020I am so thankful for this timely book that is helping me see the suburbs are just as valuable for the Kingdom of God than ministering anywhere else. I thought ministry life would take me to much different places, but God led us to a safe, friendly suburban neighborhood. Instead of feeling guilty, I'm now feeling placed with kingdom purpose. So thankful for this read. The gospel is not limited by zipcode. I recommend this read for every mom—no matter your location.
July 29, 2019
While I agree with many of the author's conclusions and recommendations, I did not enjoy the tone and feel of this book. It was not winsome or persuasive to me, but it still has some solid content.
November 12, 2018
Summary: Suburbs reflect our longings for the good, that we often fill with gods of consumerism, individualism, busyness, and safety. Only when we repent and find our longings met in belonging to God, can daily life in the suburbs become a holy endeavor.
Nearly one-half of Americans live in suburbs, and yet many view the suburbs as a place of desolation, a deadening affluence and isolation that James Howard Kunstler has described "the geography of nowhere." In many Christian circles, the "cutting edge" Christian life is one lived in urban neighborhoods. So what does one make of a call of God to leave an urban community that has been a thriving place of ministry and rich relationships to return to the California suburb of one's youth? That was the challenge faced by Ashley Hales and her husband as they moved from urban Salt Lake City to that California suburb.
Hales discovered that there was a hunger in the suburbs, a longing for "home" that people filled with consumerism, individualism, busyness, and safety. In the first part of this book she described her own wrestlings with these false gods. She describes the consumeristic fantasies of granite countertops and therapeutic shopping at Target. She describes the individualism of measuring worth in the square footage of suburban castles that close us off from community. She narrates the busy life of the mom in a minivan ruled by the schedules entailed by all the childhood experiences our community says our children must have. She confesses the fears for safety that lead to walls and fences and gates that end up shutting out the joyous life of the kingdom.
Hales believes that "healing begins at the place of hunger." It is when, in conversations over coffee, or the back fence, the doubts and frustrations arise that expose the brokenness of this life and the chance to "find holy" opens up. The middle part of the book deals with two movements that are critical. The first is repentance, when we acknowledge that the "glittering images" of suburban life mask an inner emptiness. The answer is not to double down or to look for a different place, but to acknowledge our mess, and stay put, waiting for God's grace. The other part is to know that grace, that we are God's beloved, and that our belovedness is not in how "ripped" or svelte we are, but in finding a better Lover who sees us in our beautiful brokenness and will not let us go. The challenge is to live in that reality each day in the little acts of suburban life.
The concluding chapters commend an alternative life in the suburbs that arises from repentance and belovedness. It begins with hospitality that doesn't worry about how Pinterest-worthy our homes are but shares meals together as family and invites others into the warmth, with children interrupting, and crumbs in the sofa. Instead of consumerism, we live with an open-hearted and intentional generosity with our stuff and our time and our money. It means choosing vulnerability over safety in opening up our lives to our church and our neighborhood. It is living into the shalom of God in the midst of our broken-busy lives.
Hales writes in a style that at once evidences deep spiritual reflection, and personal honesty about her own moments of failure, repentance, and of rooting her life in the suburbs in an awareness of the presence of God in the ordinary. Each chapter concludes with some practices that individuals, families or groups may use.
As one who has lived in a suburban community for 28 years, there was much that I recognized, from the dreams of kitchen remodels to the minivan lineups at schools, practices, and fast-food drive-throughs, to the concerns for safety (far greater than in the urban community of my youth). I appreciate the insight of the author to see beyond these things to the hunger and longings of her neighbors, and the needed posture of Christians who live in this setting.
At the same time, I wonder if her and her husband's commitment to minister in that community sets them apart from many. Our suburb significantly empties out during the day as people spend the bulk of their waking hours working somewhere else--often a place where they form their most significant friendships. She doesn't deal with the transience of suburban communities (the house next to us has had four owners during the time we have lived here, the house behind us seven). Suburbs have life cycles from the squeaky clean "new build" stage to aging housing stock and changing demographics as many move to newer exurbs while some stay after raising families to become empty-nesters, and eventually, those who choose to "age in place."
I hope the author and her husband will stay long enough to wrestle with these realities and work out the practices described in this book, which I believe reflect what kingdom presence looks like, as believers in the suburbs. Many suburbs really are a "geography of nowhere," removed from shops, services and workplaces, and with attached garages that allow us to enter our "castles" without any interaction with neighbors. Many communities have no real identity and have little beyond the local schools to offer cohesion. This work describes well the spiritual landscape of suburban life and the posture needed for those who will minister there. I look forward a sequel to this book, something like, "Further Adventures in Finding Holy in the Suburbs." This is needed work!
___________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
Nearly one-half of Americans live in suburbs, and yet many view the suburbs as a place of desolation, a deadening affluence and isolation that James Howard Kunstler has described "the geography of nowhere." In many Christian circles, the "cutting edge" Christian life is one lived in urban neighborhoods. So what does one make of a call of God to leave an urban community that has been a thriving place of ministry and rich relationships to return to the California suburb of one's youth? That was the challenge faced by Ashley Hales and her husband as they moved from urban Salt Lake City to that California suburb.
Hales discovered that there was a hunger in the suburbs, a longing for "home" that people filled with consumerism, individualism, busyness, and safety. In the first part of this book she described her own wrestlings with these false gods. She describes the consumeristic fantasies of granite countertops and therapeutic shopping at Target. She describes the individualism of measuring worth in the square footage of suburban castles that close us off from community. She narrates the busy life of the mom in a minivan ruled by the schedules entailed by all the childhood experiences our community says our children must have. She confesses the fears for safety that lead to walls and fences and gates that end up shutting out the joyous life of the kingdom.
Hales believes that "healing begins at the place of hunger." It is when, in conversations over coffee, or the back fence, the doubts and frustrations arise that expose the brokenness of this life and the chance to "find holy" opens up. The middle part of the book deals with two movements that are critical. The first is repentance, when we acknowledge that the "glittering images" of suburban life mask an inner emptiness. The answer is not to double down or to look for a different place, but to acknowledge our mess, and stay put, waiting for God's grace. The other part is to know that grace, that we are God's beloved, and that our belovedness is not in how "ripped" or svelte we are, but in finding a better Lover who sees us in our beautiful brokenness and will not let us go. The challenge is to live in that reality each day in the little acts of suburban life.
The concluding chapters commend an alternative life in the suburbs that arises from repentance and belovedness. It begins with hospitality that doesn't worry about how Pinterest-worthy our homes are but shares meals together as family and invites others into the warmth, with children interrupting, and crumbs in the sofa. Instead of consumerism, we live with an open-hearted and intentional generosity with our stuff and our time and our money. It means choosing vulnerability over safety in opening up our lives to our church and our neighborhood. It is living into the shalom of God in the midst of our broken-busy lives.
Hales writes in a style that at once evidences deep spiritual reflection, and personal honesty about her own moments of failure, repentance, and of rooting her life in the suburbs in an awareness of the presence of God in the ordinary. Each chapter concludes with some practices that individuals, families or groups may use.
As one who has lived in a suburban community for 28 years, there was much that I recognized, from the dreams of kitchen remodels to the minivan lineups at schools, practices, and fast-food drive-throughs, to the concerns for safety (far greater than in the urban community of my youth). I appreciate the insight of the author to see beyond these things to the hunger and longings of her neighbors, and the needed posture of Christians who live in this setting.
At the same time, I wonder if her and her husband's commitment to minister in that community sets them apart from many. Our suburb significantly empties out during the day as people spend the bulk of their waking hours working somewhere else--often a place where they form their most significant friendships. She doesn't deal with the transience of suburban communities (the house next to us has had four owners during the time we have lived here, the house behind us seven). Suburbs have life cycles from the squeaky clean "new build" stage to aging housing stock and changing demographics as many move to newer exurbs while some stay after raising families to become empty-nesters, and eventually, those who choose to "age in place."
I hope the author and her husband will stay long enough to wrestle with these realities and work out the practices described in this book, which I believe reflect what kingdom presence looks like, as believers in the suburbs. Many suburbs really are a "geography of nowhere," removed from shops, services and workplaces, and with attached garages that allow us to enter our "castles" without any interaction with neighbors. Many communities have no real identity and have little beyond the local schools to offer cohesion. This work describes well the spiritual landscape of suburban life and the posture needed for those who will minister there. I look forward a sequel to this book, something like, "Further Adventures in Finding Holy in the Suburbs." This is needed work!
___________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
November 11, 2018
Ashley really nails down the already/not yet of suburb life. We live in a homogenous, safe little community, where it's easy to pretend that everything is perfect. It's easy to feel like there is no mission field here, no calling to be God's people. But Ashley teases out both the hard and the blessing of living a suburban life as a Christian. Worth picking up.
December 31, 2019
"Finding Holy in the Suburbs" is a great book to read. I don't know exactly what I was expecting but the book was more than that! The author is struggling with moving to the California suburbs from a very comfortable Utah neighborhood surrounded by friends and family. The separation from others, perceived and/or real wealth of suburbanites, the conformity of society, the 'fake-ness' of manicured lawns and "created" green spaces have made the author question this life-style and thus made her wonder how can we all life a Christian life in such an environment.
(I never really thought about the "suburbs" until recently when I read an article about the hidden racism of suburbia. I didn't get it. I mean, where are we all supposed to live if you don't want to live in the city or the country? You live in the suburbs, right? Why is that racist? This book does NOT even suggest suburbia is racist and that is NOT the topic of this book; it is just where I was coming from when I started to read the book.)
But, while reading it, I did understand why some see suburban living as racist or privileged, since some people are seeking to get away from urban living and not all can. And, those who do live in suburban areas, tend to acquire more "stuff."
The author addresses her struggles with the stuff, and habits, the consumerism of suburban life.
At the end of each chapter, she poses questions for you to reflect upon, or ideas for you to try out in your suburban life-style. Overall, I found the book refreshing to read, neat ideas and just another open perspective of the struggles of modern life in the suburbs.
(I never really thought about the "suburbs" until recently when I read an article about the hidden racism of suburbia. I didn't get it. I mean, where are we all supposed to live if you don't want to live in the city or the country? You live in the suburbs, right? Why is that racist? This book does NOT even suggest suburbia is racist and that is NOT the topic of this book; it is just where I was coming from when I started to read the book.)
But, while reading it, I did understand why some see suburban living as racist or privileged, since some people are seeking to get away from urban living and not all can. And, those who do live in suburban areas, tend to acquire more "stuff."
The author addresses her struggles with the stuff, and habits, the consumerism of suburban life.
At the end of each chapter, she poses questions for you to reflect upon, or ideas for you to try out in your suburban life-style. Overall, I found the book refreshing to read, neat ideas and just another open perspective of the struggles of modern life in the suburbs.
October 23, 2018
What does it look like to follow Jesus while living in Suburban America? Finding Holy in the Suburbs, by Ashley Hales, is a wonderful answer to that question. The book has a joyfully subversive flavor. Many of us in the suburbs are either oblivious to, or drowning in, the consumerism, individualism, busyness, and pursuit of security that are so common in Suburban life. Our stories are marked by the pursuit of things that won't ultimately satisfy us. What Hales does so well is show us a better story - the story of God bringing beauty where there is brokenness and redemption where there is sin. Instead of living for ourselves and our security or individualism, Hales invites us to imitate Jesus right where we live in the suburbs by losing our life through self-giving love. Hales has a sparkling, creative voice that gives a freshness to the time-honored truths of the Gospel. She asks great questions, converses with all kinds of thinkers old and new, and provides very practical guides (counter-liturgies) following each chapter.
This is a book to soak in. Read it with your spouse, your small group, or your church. There are all kinds of objections to life in the suburbs and to Christianity in the suburbs. What Finding Holy In the Suburbs will do is show you that through Jesus there is a better story for you and your place - even in the Suburbs.
This is a book to soak in. Read it with your spouse, your small group, or your church. There are all kinds of objections to life in the suburbs and to Christianity in the suburbs. What Finding Holy In the Suburbs will do is show you that through Jesus there is a better story for you and your place - even in the Suburbs.
October 17, 2018
Ashley Hales has hit the nail on the head with this book about finding the holy in our suburban haze. I often find myself too busy, too scheduled, too overwhelmed by the requirements of social upkeep to recognize the moments God has called me to see his glory instead. If you are searching for practical ways to live out your faith, if you are trying to understand how deeper theology applies to the mundane, if you live in a community that you know could be loved better than this is the book for you.
Some of my favorite quotes:
“The call to the suburban Christian is to wake up. And if God isn’t calling you elsewhere, you stay put. We start small. We don’t settle for the absence of conflict as an indication of peace.”
“At its root hospitality is the art of seeing other people as glorious bearers of God’s image no matter your zip-code.”
“For those of us in the suburbs there are moral consequences to living behind gates or even in racially and economically narrow neighborhoods. It isn’t that we shouldn’t live where we do, but we must ask why we live where we do. We must ask specifically how where we live forms who and what we love.”
Some of my favorite quotes:
“The call to the suburban Christian is to wake up. And if God isn’t calling you elsewhere, you stay put. We start small. We don’t settle for the absence of conflict as an indication of peace.”
“At its root hospitality is the art of seeing other people as glorious bearers of God’s image no matter your zip-code.”
“For those of us in the suburbs there are moral consequences to living behind gates or even in racially and economically narrow neighborhoods. It isn’t that we shouldn’t live where we do, but we must ask why we live where we do. We must ask specifically how where we live forms who and what we love.”
January 15, 2019
This book was startling in its impact upon my mind and heart; at times I felt almost defensive, in large part because of the distaste I feel towards myself for having fallen into the trap of looking to my Suburban life to meet my hungers and needs. Reading Hales’ words was like looking into a mirror, feeling a bit trapped in there, and then being lovingly shown the way out.
It has been some time since I have been as deeply convicted by the simple truths presented in a book, but here it is. Hales’ work speaks to the Christian life in Suburbia, but in truth I think anyone in any place could read it and find her thoughtful, theological, and practical writings appropriate for where they are.
I will be referring to this book for a long time to come, especially the many counterliturgies and practices she offers at the end of each chapter to reorient ourselves to Kingdom-living, as exiles, no matter our place.
It has been some time since I have been as deeply convicted by the simple truths presented in a book, but here it is. Hales’ work speaks to the Christian life in Suburbia, but in truth I think anyone in any place could read it and find her thoughtful, theological, and practical writings appropriate for where they are.
I will be referring to this book for a long time to come, especially the many counterliturgies and practices she offers at the end of each chapter to reorient ourselves to Kingdom-living, as exiles, no matter our place.
October 18, 2019
Author Ashley Hales challenges readers to examine their hungers--big and small--and how they they are seeking to satisfy them. Her book shows that many of us try to satiate our desires through the suburban gods of consumerism, individualism, busyness, and safety. Yet we often end up unsatisfied and empty.
Instead of using these suburban gods, Hales encourages us to go the true God--the only One who can fill our empty souls. She points out the need for repentance and the truth of our position as God's beloved. Then she asks us to risk practicing hospitality, generosity, and vulnerability.
I especially loved the practices Hales included at the end of each chapter--ways to evaluate my current attitudes, meditate on God's Word, and put my faith into practice. I was encouraged to pray to see the needs of my community and start small in the practice of hospitality.
Instead of using these suburban gods, Hales encourages us to go the true God--the only One who can fill our empty souls. She points out the need for repentance and the truth of our position as God's beloved. Then she asks us to risk practicing hospitality, generosity, and vulnerability.
I especially loved the practices Hales included at the end of each chapter--ways to evaluate my current attitudes, meditate on God's Word, and put my faith into practice. I was encouraged to pray to see the needs of my community and start small in the practice of hospitality.
October 23, 2018
“In what they center and in what they hide, all places tell stories through their geography, architecture, and city planning.” Whether you live in a suburb, a city, or even a rural area, I believe you will find value in Finding Holy in the Suburbs, as I did reading an Advance Copy of the book.
“Each place fashions what we value. Places form our loves.” Ashley Hales addresses areas of concern to us all no matter where our place, including consumerism, safety, hospitality, and generosity. She provides practical examples as well as challenging counterliturgies and practices which help us evaluate how we belong in our place. This is a book I will re-read; I encourage you to read it, too.
“Each place fashions what we value. Places form our loves.” Ashley Hales addresses areas of concern to us all no matter where our place, including consumerism, safety, hospitality, and generosity. She provides practical examples as well as challenging counterliturgies and practices which help us evaluate how we belong in our place. This is a book I will re-read; I encourage you to read it, too.
January 30, 2019
Well written musings on redeeming life in the burbs.
It’s definitely written from a white mother’s perspective. But how many women have had to read from a man’s?
It also leans a little too much into some gross caricatures of suburban life. But they’re not entirely inaccurate.
I appreciate the embodied and redemptive theology. The structure is helpful to follow.
Ultimately, one wonders just how truly different one would love if we followed the virtues the author points us to. It is really more about finding the holy in the faux eden of the burbs — and less about living in a truly transformative way.
It’s definitely written from a white mother’s perspective. But how many women have had to read from a man’s?
It also leans a little too much into some gross caricatures of suburban life. But they’re not entirely inaccurate.
I appreciate the embodied and redemptive theology. The structure is helpful to follow.
Ultimately, one wonders just how truly different one would love if we followed the virtues the author points us to. It is really more about finding the holy in the faux eden of the burbs — and less about living in a truly transformative way.
October 23, 2018
This book grabbed my heart and pried it open. It was so freeing to examine with new eyes both the brokenness and beauty of where I live and feel the guilt lift off as Jesus isn’t calling me to some freakishly radical or heroic in-my-own-strength kind of ministry. He’s already saved the world and this book is an invitation to participate in His work of making it new. He’s calling me to love the people in my kids’ schools, the people in my gym classes, the people on my street. My suburb. This book is a kindness to the world.
September 17, 2018
This is a book for people in both the suburban and the urban context. Hales shares both theological and practical advice for how to live intentional, gospel-centers lives in the suburbs. For a cynical urbanite, like myself, I was grateful for her insights on the God-given goodness of the suburbs, and how we can appreciate things like home and stability, while still critiquing the materialism and superficiality of the place. Good words that I needed to hear.
October 21, 2018
A useful handbook for suburban Christians considering how to ‘seek the good of the city’ when they aren’t IN the city. Hale gives practical theological insights about how to live deeply in a place known for being superficial. I was especially moved by her vision of what a redemptive suburb would look like. I would have loved to see more stories of how the tough practices she advocates are working imperfectly in her life, but overall, I think she captures useful praxis for our suburban everyday.
October 20, 2018
A great new voice on how to take theological ideas and make them real in our everyday lives. Ashley writes with clarity and depth, illustrating her points with personal narratives, a variety of quotes and beautifully re-told Scripture stories. A book for anyone wondering how to see Christ's kingdom come in the places where we live, work and spend our days.
October 23, 2018
Ashley Hales’ Finding Holy in the Suburbs is a must-read for suburban dwellers who want to know how to live and love well in the suburbs. Hales both challenges and encourages readers as she helps us navigate the universal longing to find our place and the unique complexities and opportunities of suburban life. Hales’ honest and beautiful writing is hard to put down.
October 8, 2018
What a much needed book for so many of us! Very thankful I came across this book. Living out your faith in affluent American culture can be so strange, this book really helps reground one to the eternal and reconnect you to God's presence in the midst of modern suburban chaos.
February 8, 2019
A wonderful read, even if you don’t live in the suburbs, as many of the issues she talks about are not restricted to suburban living. Ashley does a wonderful job of always pointing back to Christ and His sufficiency. I found it convicting, challenging, and encouraging.
August 14, 2023
DNF
I wanted to really connect with this book considering I live right dab in the world of suburbia. But maybe due to inflation and the world after 2020 (though there is affluence) I believe her suburbia in Southern California is vastly different than mine.
I wanted to really connect with this book considering I live right dab in the world of suburbia. But maybe due to inflation and the world after 2020 (though there is affluence) I believe her suburbia in Southern California is vastly different than mine.
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