The Naked Marriage: Undressing the truth about sex, intimacy and lifelong love

by Dave Willis, Ashley Willis

"Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame." (Genesis 2:25) Imagine a marriage with complete intimacy, vulnerability, transparency and trust. Imagine a marriage rooted in faith, friendship and mutual fulfillment. Imagine a marriage with amazing sex, but where great sex is only the icing on the cake. This might all sound too good to be true, but it's actually what God designed marriage to be, and He doesn't want you settling for anything less. Having a "Naked Marriage' is about much more than just nakedness in the bedroom (although that's part of the fun). It means being naked emotionally and spiritually as well as physically. It also means undressing all the misconceptions our culture has used to cover God's original, beautiful design for marriage and rediscovering all marriage can be. You and your spouse can have a thriving, Naked Marriage with a lifetime of love and laughter together. This book will show you how. About the Dave and Ashley Willis have become some of America's most trusted teachers on marriage. Their books, blogs, videos and speaking events reach millions of couples worldwide. They are part of the team at XO Marriage and MarriageToday, which is the largest marriage-focused ministry in the USA. Dave and Ashley have four young sons and live near Dallas, TX.

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Relationships, Self Help, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Counselling

178 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 12, 2019

About the author

Dave Willis is a pastor and writer who has become one of America's most trusted voices on issues related to marriage, faith, and family. He and his wife, Ashley, are hosts of The Naked Marriage Podcast and content creators for XO Marriage, which is the nation's largest marriage-focused ministry. Dave and Ashley's videos, quotes, books, blogs, and live events reach millions of couples worldwide. They live with their four sons near Augusta, GA. For additional resources, please visit DaveAndAshleyWillis.com.

Reviews

[Charity (Booktrovert Reader) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love Ashley and Dave Willis!

I highly encourage to read this book and check out their podcast. They are real and raw on their knowledge when it comes to intimacy in marriage.

[Madeline Grable · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's taken me a while to finish this book. I would start it, stop it, start it, stop it, etc. I'm glad though, that I started the book over and really paid attention to it! This book is chalk full of encouragement and helpful advice to anyone in any marriage situation. I love their podcast, and so the book was just as good! Their wit and humor, along with their experiences and wisdom, made the book an engaging read and very supportive. The topics and sub-topics were beneficial and they give both male and female perspectives and advice (not something I see a lot in marriage books).

I highly recommend this book to all married couples, regardless if you are going through a tough situation or not. The scripture and encouragement is refreshing and will give you new perspectives into your marriage.

[Claire Cook · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this on audio and really enjoyed that the book was narrated by the authors. The narration being done by the authors made the book seem so much more personable. This read was great towards making an investment towards my marriage. I learned so much, I loved that the book touched on so many different topics and how they all related towards Christian marriage. My favorite part was the discussion of how much the little things matter vs the big things. I also enjoy this couples podcast, I hope to see more books from them!

[Robert Reed · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re married, get a copy of this book. It’s not what you think - well, part of it is - but it’s also about being naked emotionally and spiritually as well as physically. Dave Willis and Ashley weave humor and personal stories in with solid biblical teaching. It’s an easy read that will help your marriage. Win, win, win.

My wife and I have been so disheartened by the breakdown of families in our own circle. We grieve for friends whose marriages have dissolved behind closed doors while we were unaware of any issues. Perhaps we should have done more, reached out more, been there more, but we just didn’t know.

Communication is breaking down in our socially distant society - between spouses and between friends - but there are no secrets in a naked marriage. Talk to each other. If your having issues, there’s no shame in that. We all have issues. Talk to your friends. Talk to a good Christian counselor. But don’t bottle up hurt and disappointment and false expectations that give Satan a foothold in your family.

God created marriage to be a reflection of Jesus and the church - which is a pretty big deal. Your unconditional, sacrificial love preaches the Gospel to a watching world. So put in the work.

[Jason Kolar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to the audiobook of Naked Marriage and I'll say that this book surprised me. I had low expectations (simply for the forcefully catchy name. I was thinking the book would be shallow. Kind of like my shallow judgments on books based on their names).

The Willis couple goes back and forth in the audiobook and does a masterful job. It was very easy and pleasant to listen to! They had Emerald and I rolling in laughter with some of their stories.

Each chapter addresses something different, so it is not meant to drill down on any one topic (though a decent amount of the book is on vulnerability in the marriage). The premise is this... The perfect marriage comprises of 2 imperfect people who never give up.

Are there some cringe-worthy lines? Absolutely. We're some chapters a little too "surface" level? Definitely. But was it worth the read? Yes. This book has a lot of good, practical advice for a Marriage.

[Jill Raisleger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Real advice for couples who want to be intentional about having an incredible marriage. Life changing.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book to help me save my marriage. I have listened to thier podcast and was intrigued, so I ordered this book off of Amazon. However, it was on back order and didnt get to me until I decided that I couldnt fight anymore for my marriage. That was 2 years ago, and finally in a spot to read it. I could only imagine what it was like to read it as being married, but reading it from a divorced persons stand point, it was very eye opening and at times made me cry. I was willing to die to save my marriage, but eventually I couldnt do it anymore. I have had so many thoughts, read so many things that I know I made the right choice for me. Definitely a good read for all walks (single, engaged, married, etc). Great Christian outlook and no shaming of struggling. Will be a gift for others for sure!

[Shalyce · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really liked the idea of how important it is to be vulnerable and open in a marriage and wanted to learn more about that. There were some good nuggets and a few ideas I really liked:

The perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who never give up.

There was another one, but I can't remember it..., so I guess it didn't impact me that much but, it didn't keep my attention much beyond that and I find it super annoying when authors take some basic phrase and try to make it their catchphrase and use it all throughout the book, which is what they did with "the naked marriage."

I can see how it could be helpful for others though.

[Kirsten · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve read quite a few marriage books over the years, which means that sometimes the same issues are covered - which obviously does not mean I don’t need to hear them again! That was the case with this book, which of course is not just about physical nakedness, but rather a deep authentic intimacy that takes its inspiration from the very first marriage in Genesis (lovely image to work from). It’s well structured, easy to listen to and I appreciated hearing from both husband and wife authors (there were some gender stereotypes expressed but I think they tried to be more inclusive than some other books I’ve read). I think the addition of some reflection questions at the end of each chapter would be really helpful. Worth a read if you want some inspiration for a better marriage. 3.5 stars

[Rose Wolzen · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband and I read this book as a part of a class at our church and I believe it just made us view marriage in a different light. We already believed a lot of the groundwork of the book but just opened eyes to a new perspective on a few things, I would recommend this book to any couple that is soon to be married oreven if you’ve been married for really long time and you’re just in a rut a lot of what was in this book is what we talked about in our premarital counseling so I would definitely recommend this book and I really enjoyed it. I liked it and even the workbook that went along with it. Great read.

[Antho2 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of good content in this book. The major idea is that we were created for nakedness with our spouse: physically, relationally, emotionally, spiritually.

They unpack the word FINE - as in "I'm fine" as Fake, Ignoring, Neglecting, Evading. Whoa.

Communication needs to increase after "I do" not decrease. Yet we tend to get lazy in our communication and the relationship suffers.

Additionally, Dave and Ashley have a podcast that we've found to be a helpful discussion starter in our own marriage.

[Tanja · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved reading this with my husband. Naked Marriage is a great tool to grow together in intimacy. Naked unashamed, despite our quirks and flaws. This helped us grow closer. I love the Willis' transparency, authenticity, and humor you find throughout this entire book! We read one chapter a week and meditated and put into action the questions they provided for us. Amazing read for all married couples!

[Amanda Spindler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, I would give this book a 3.6!
There are a lot of good nuggets in this book that can really help strengthen your marriage/relationship. I think one aspect that they talk about is that I believe needs to be talked about more in the church culture, is the harmfulness of porn -- it hurts when you find you significant other wanting to fulfill their needs with porn. But, as they speak about, there is truth and healing that can happen when we communicate and work for trust.

[Jeff Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has had a lasting impact on my marriage and has encouraged me to be open and honest with my wife. I wish I had read this 15 years ago. This book is easy to read, relatable, has good biblical advice and funny stories. I encourage you to also listen to their podcast and their interview on Fierce Marriage if you want to find out more about who they are before you read their book.

[Patty Cooper · Rating 4 out of 5]

The thesis of this book is that by being completely open and honest with your spouse ie naked you build intimacy and create a lasting bond that can withstand what ever life throws at you. I believe the information is good and would make any marriage stronger. It’s a good starting point for people with marriage struggles. It is best used by emotionally healthy people.

[Bryan Atkinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an encouraging book with a lot of topics and succinct insights. It's not full of research and doesn't belabor the ideas, so it's easy to read and skim ahead if a section isn't applicable to your marriage.

[Kayla Whittinghill · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good, biblically based advice and wisdom but I felt like overall it was pretty simplistic.

[Mikki O · Rating 5 out of 5]

The naked marriage

Well written and easy to read and apply to your everyday life. I enjoy anything from Dave and Ashley Willis, this book and their podcast are wonderful.

[Terry · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a really good book. I enjoyed it very much. They covered some hard topics, but did it well.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Open and honest

[Kelley Bowker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good for suggesting that you get real and honest with your marriage.

[Wayne Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

The power of vulnerability.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book was nice and encouraging.

[Josephine Barrett]

I agreed with practically all the preaching in this book; though I felt a healthy, moderate amount of curiosity helps. A worthwhile read.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! It was such a good read. I found it balanced and interesting and appreciated the authors addressing so many subjects within marriage.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I’m not religious, I can appreciate the concept of the “naked marriage.” I enjoyed Dave & Ashley’s perspective.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enjoyed this book. Not all will apply to your marriage but great information.

[Heather · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. I got half way through and realized so far I have learned nothing. It falls into the category thst so many self-help books do - "could have been a blog post".

[Bethany Joy Warner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. It’s real, applicable, and fun. There were times I could greatly relate and other times when I was laughing so much from the real humor. I highly suggest this book to every married person. There is something for everyone in it.

[Chisha Musonda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Book

Very insightful and truths throughout the book. Great job. I have enjoyed and agreed with every page I have read. Thanks for sharing your marriage experiences too.