두려움 너머로

by Johann Christoph Arnold, 조연숙 (Translator)

Fear of accidents or acts of terror, illness or dying, loneliness or grief -- if you're like most people, such anxieties may be robbing you of the peace that could be yours. Interspersed with anecdotes from such wise teachers as Tolstoy, Dickens, and Dorothy Day, Arnold's words offer the assurance that even in an age of anxiety, you can live life to the full and meet death with confidence. Available as a free .pdf in English, Spanish, Korean, French and Telugu, and as English .prc (Kindle) and .epub (Nook) files from www.plough.com.

Genres: Nonfiction, Spirituality, Religion

225 pages, ebook

First published June 1, 1996

About the author

People have come to expect sound advice from Johann Christoph Arnold, an award-winning author with over two million copies of his twelve books in print in more than twenty languages. A noted speaker and writer on marriage, parenting, and end-of-life issues, Arnold was a senior pastor of the Bruderhof, a movement of Christian communities, until his death in April 2017.

Arnold’s message was shaped by encounters with great peacemakers such as Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Dorothy Day, César Chavez, and John Paul II. Together with paralyzed police officer Steven McDonald, Arnold started the Breaking the Cycle program, working with students at hundreds of public high schools to promote reconciliation through forgiveness. This work also brought him to conflict zones from Northern Ireland to Rwanda to the Middle East. Closer to home, he served as chaplain for the local sheriff’s department.

Born in Great Britain in 1940 to German refugees, Arnold spent his boyhood years in South America, where his parents found asylum during the war; he immigrated to the United States in 1955. He and his wife, Verena, have eight children and many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Reviews

[Brandi]

My favorite parts of the book:

Chapter 1: "...when people spend their lives harboring grudges, they become crippled by unwittingly binding themselves to the person they cannot forgive. They are imprisoned, yet they refuse to take the key of forgiveness out of their own pocket and unlock the door."

Chapter 2: Poem written for a child who died:
"You sleep in deep peace on a gentle green hill, near to the sky, my child.
The love of your father carried you there to a long, long rest in that holy place. Sleep, my child.
Enshrined in the earth, the mother of all, by oneness and love laid to rest. Sleep, my child.
And when earth awakes and the sun beats down, its glorious rays will stream on you. Sleep, my child.
But when the time comes that all is revealed, when God's Kingdom comes here on earth - Wake, my child.
Your body will wake from the bosom of earth, renewed and made free from this world: Live, my child!"

Chapter 3: "...the redemptive power of love and forgiveness is the only answer to hatred."

Chapter 4: "...knowledge of our misery without knowledge of God leads to despair. ...knowledge of God without knowledge of our misery leaves us sick with arrogance and pride."
"We cannot isolate ourselves in our need. God created us as communal beings."

Chapter 6: "Reverence is awe and gratefulness for what God has made. It is respect for life. WIthout it, the soul sickens. We must protect reverence like an eternal flame, for without it, our love will remain only an abstract ideal. Reverence is the essence of compassion."

Packed away and put aside for the moment.

[Alassane Argant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sooner or a later in life... we all have that one incident that causes us to develop some type fear towards something. Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. When I was about 12 years old, the church I took part in was going on a 4 hour long trip. We had 3 church vans on the highway, it was early in the morning and I was still sleepy. While on the verge of falling asleep, suddenly I heard this popping noise, and when I opened my eyes I saw the van in front of us flipping over the highway. Unfortunately not everyone in the van survived the crash. For me at that time, it truly was a traumatizing experience, and ever since that day I've been skeptic about getting on the highway, and sometimes even about getting inside a car.

Now,3 years later getting on the highway I still get a bit skeptical (I make sure everyone in the car has their seat belts on and everything). But, after reading this book, I felt as if I could conquer the world! In all honesty, there was nothing I disliked about this book. Even though, I only picked this book for a writing assignment in class, it really helped me in the end. This book has made me realize that fear, sadness, and death are all part of life. This book has also helped me understand the fact that bad and sad things do happen in life, and that we will have to learn how to cope with those things overtime. But don't take my word for it... read it yourself and see for your self.


*spoiler alert* This book will make you cry.

[Josh Sorensen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was initially a mixed bag for me, until I had more time to reflect on it afterwards. I found myself struggling through a majority of the book as it recounted story after story of tragic loss. If the author’s intention was to help one “overcome the fear of death” by first confronting the reader of the reality of the agony and sorrow of death, these stories made their point. I found myself needing to catch my breath at points as we were given a very real, honest, visceral bedside view of precious, dying people (including children).

However, it wasn’t until the last three chapters (“Dying”, “Grief”, and “Resurrection”) that I felt the book came around to its primary purpose of helping the reader process through the fear of death and understand the various ways people grieve. To be sure, there were many helpful and practical things that were said along the way from the author’s years of experience that I’m sure I will go back and read again in the future. And this book can be an added resource to better equip those who will be at the bedside of a loved one facing their final hours.

With all that being said, I was most disappointed that the message of the gospel (John 3:16) wasn’t more clearly presented. What is the gospel?

God rules—The Bible tells us God created everything, including you and me, and He is in charge of everything. (Genesis 1:1; Revelation 4:11; Colossians 1:16-17)

We sinned—We all choose to disobey God. The Bible calls this sin. Sin separates us from God and deserves God’s punishment of death. (Romans 3:23; 6:23)

God provided—God sent Jesus, the perfect solution to our sin problem, to rescue us from the punishment we deserve. It’s something we, as sinners, could never earn on our own. Jesus alone saves us. (John 3:16; Ephesians 2:8-9)

Jesus gives—Jesus lived a perfect life, died on the cross for our sins, and rose again. Because Jesus gave up His life for us, we can be welcomed into God’s family for eternity. This is the best gift ever! (Romans 5:8; 2 Corinthians 5:21; 1 Peter 3:18)

We respond—We can respond to Jesus by admitting we have sinned, believing on Him, and confessing Him as Savior and Lord.

It’s this good news that we can have full confidence that when we close our eyes in this world, we will open them in Heaven to see Jesus (and our loved ones that also trusted Him as Savior) face to face.

In all fairness, parts of this good news message was penciled in throughout this book, but I would have hoped to see it fully colored in with all its beauty and presented clearly at the end of the book. Particularly because Jesus is our only hope of truly overcoming the fear of death.

[Kyleigh Dunn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Christoph seeks to address the fear of death by removing the taboo of death. Through anecdotes, his book discusses, as much as we know, what it is like to die and face death. I thought it had some good points and themes, such as the humanity, worth, and emotional needs of the ill, dying, and elderly and learning from them, accepting age and death and suffering by submission to His will (without that equaling “stiff upper lip”), and learning to support those who are grieving, often by our simple presence. He talked about some of the things that I have always wondered about regarding death and how I would handle certain scenarios, especially regarding the death of a child or a death that happened because of an easily avoidable accident. But despite this beautiful quote – “We finally saw that death need not be a frightening thing. It may be the last enemy, but it’s not the end of the story,” (pg. 124) I don’t really think that Christoph succeeds. There is certainly comfort in his writing, but in order for it to bring any comfort, it must come with the foundation of death holding no fear because Christ has conquered it and because death ushers believers into the presence of God that we have only barely tasted in the Holy Spirit, and that is something that was not talked about in the book. I don’t know where I heard about this book in the first place, but it was disappointing to find more encouragement about the fear of death in a class on the Holy Spirit than in a book aiming to address the fear of death from a Christian perspective.

[Carol · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mostly stories, not too helpful, though I did like this line: grief is the innate urge to go on loving someone who is no longer there and to be loved back

[Andrew · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's hardly light reading or entertainment, is it, to pick up a book on death? Anyway, it came along so I took a breath and commenced.

The publishers (Plough - the publishing arm of the Anabaptist Bruderhof community) had given it away as a free ebook in response to the pandemic - I guess to share the 'be not afraid' message of the title. But overcoming fear often means facing fear and going through it, or at least feeling discomfort.

For the majority of the book, its modus operandi for overcoming the fear of death appears to be exposure therapy. At basic level it is a collection of stories about (Christian) people of all ages dying, or going through that journey with a loved one.

There's something to the exposure therapy kind of approach, because it's true that we live in a society that hides death, makes it weird and unknown. Truth-telling can be a healthy move... normalising can have positive outcomes.

The book was written by a pastor who had a ministry in being at bedsides and alongside the grieving. This experience clearly brought him a different attitude towards mortality and it is this experience that he wants to share with us.

Though, it must be said that reading this book with all its stories was quite psychically challenging alongside the cycle of news and social media in a time of pandemic. Not sure I'd recommend that mixture.

What emerges from the stories though is an overall sense of Presence for the dying, a (sometimes vigorous) wrestling followed by release, and hints of some kind of Glory. The book does not resort to platitudes.

In the individual stories it is clear that some take tremendous comfort from concepts that theological (or atheistic) thinkers might vigorously critique. But such critique (despite its possible value in general) has no place at the bedside. At the bedside it would be smug, patronising, tone deaf, and perhaps even cruel. I find that puts our abstracted academic pursuits in perspective.

And it's the same with platitudes. Reasoning is of little value. Even what I'm writing here could be glib, easier said; it is afterall our very existence that is under negotiation. It seems that silence, quiet gentleness, reverence, compassion and a loving presence is often the ultimate response. As at the bedside, perhaps also in life in general.

It isn't until the end of the book that the author makes an explicit appeal to the Christian hope - such things as heaven and resurrection (though those themes have been woven through book). But even here the message is delivered with an open hand and an acknowledgement of the unknown.

The concluding epilogue encourages a life well-lived; that is, a life of love and its efficacy in the face of human mortality.

[Peter Holford · Rating 2 out of 5]

As Joseph Conrad reminds us in Lord Jim, our days are numbered whether we like it or not, and there is "never time to say our last word - the last word of our love, or our desire, faith, remorse ..."

In typical JC Arnold style, the author draws from both classic literature and his vast experience as a counsellor - not a common approach to books on death, loss and grief - but I like it. This is not the best book of his which I have read (I think I've read five, now), but it remains challenging and personal and therefore (for me) valuable. The book's subtitle is 'overcoming the fear of death' and to some extent that challenge is dealt with, but it is only a small part of the text. It is certainly not a 'how to' book. Rather, it challenges us to have a better view of death as a part of the cycle of life and learning to accept and live with its reality and consequences. But it remains completely life-affirming and positive in doing so. Community is, as always championed (I would expect nothing less from an elder of the Bruderhof community) and the loss of belonging for most people in the west mourned. As he says, our society today is marked by mobility and rootlessness. This makes the reality of death much more difficult to incorporate into our understanding of life, and I have witnessed this first hand. His conclusion?

... the best way - the only way - to truly overcome the fear of death is to live life in such a way that its meaning cannot be taken away by death.

He admits this sounds grandiose, but also takes the trouble to unpack what it means in practice. If you're thinking of giving this book to someone facing death or loss, make sure you read it first to make sure it's the right book for the situation. Other than that - well worthwhile in its own right.

[Sandeep Ruhela · Rating 4 out of 5]

one of the bravest subject I ever chose to read.

Not all in their normal and happiest lives would ever try such a subject. Somewhere in the corner of their heart, all fear death. All fear uncertainty. All fear loss of their loved ones. All fear their confrontation with some chronic deadly disease which may scare you to death.

I chose this book to face the ultimate reality of life which is Death; an unavoidable and certain truth of life. Author has described many incidents of his family and friends; about their loss of some dear ones, their own survival with death and other uncertainties of life which ultimately take human beings to their ultimate end.

Author advocates the confrontation of human beings with this fact rather than staying undeniable and not asking questions about the death, an end of a life. He also says only human spiritual bend and acceptance of this universal fact can lead him to meet a harmonious end though it difficult and not everybody possess such a strength to stay calm and peaceful, when end is near but some ordinary human become extraordinary and become a hope for rest of us for the rest of our lives.

Brave attempt to write about such a subject and kudos to me for showing courage to confront such a subject of "Death" at such a young age. :)

[Dacia · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a fairly good book.................It had some inspiring and sad stories in it, some of it was hard reading and therefore it took me a while to read it(I became a little, dare I say bored with it) Don't get me wrong, it was truely heartfelt and could help others with the fear of passing.(The personal stories were good but sad).

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ian tells me he thinks I should join the Bruderhof. I'm going to subscribe to their magazine, The Plough. This book tells real stories of courgae and love in the face of death, and love in community.

[♥●•x..MaŇìi BâBiiε→Anutha StoRiiε.. · Rating 5 out of 5]

dis bukk bascially teLLs how peopLe face their fears.it's realllllllllllllllly qudd of a bukk to read over and over aqen

[Christina Wooff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good book.

I have reading books on fear of death. At first, wasn't sure if this was the right book for me. As I continued to read it, it helped me put many things into perspective. I especially liked the chapter on Faith. It helped me to remember that love and faith (and hope) is all that is needed to help with dying. I also like the topic of grief and how the writer explains that grief is different for everyone. This book, I think, will hopefully give people that are grieving a small part of the healing process.