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Smart Ass: How a Donkey Challenged Me to Accept His True Nature & Rediscover My Own
How do you resolve a midlife crisis?
Margaret Winslow, an overworked college professor in New York City, answered a for-sale ad for a "Large White Saddle Donkey." Hilarity ensued, along with life-threatening injuries and spirit-enriching insight.
Walk with Winslow and Caleb the donkey through training traumas, expert-baffling antics, and humiliating races, and share in Winslow's gradual understanding of Caleb's true, undeniable gifts: a willingness to be true to himself no matter the circumstances, to trust, and to forgive. As she and Caleb learn to thrive, you'll learn the importance of being true to your own pure and powerful self.
Margaret Winslow, an overworked college professor in New York City, answered a for-sale ad for a "Large White Saddle Donkey." Hilarity ensued, along with life-threatening injuries and spirit-enriching insight.
Walk with Winslow and Caleb the donkey through training traumas, expert-baffling antics, and humiliating races, and share in Winslow's gradual understanding of Caleb's true, undeniable gifts: a willingness to be true to himself no matter the circumstances, to trust, and to forgive. As she and Caleb learn to thrive, you'll learn the importance of being true to your own pure and powerful self.
296 pages, Paperback
First published November 15, 2018
44 people are currently reading
187 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
December 27, 2018
This poor donkey. The people involved in this book put him through years of mistreatment in blind pursuit of human frivolity. If you have compassion for animals and respect for their individual true natures, this book will anger you. I hope Caleb’s quality of life has improved since this book was written. If I was Caleb’s original owner and read this book, I would be devastated and enraged on both of our behalfs.
March 9, 2019
The number of stars I give this book is an average of two ratings. 5 stars for the admiration I feel for Ms. Winslow's love and dogged perseverance in the face of all physical and emotional punishment that her beloved donkey Caleb dishes out. For being a geologist of such wide-ranging acclaim who still cares enough to stand up to the establishment and put her students first.
And 1 star for obliging her readers to endure the extraordinarily misguided and interminably tedious ordeal -- of trying to make a donkey behave like a horse.
This book could also have been titled "Spot the Ass." This is not meant as a slight. It comes from my sincere empathy for the author. Let me explain.
I'm sure many of us can recognize some part of ourselves in her. As parents. teachers,mentors, coaches -- we are constantly challenged to be discerning and realistic in the goals we set for the young people under our care and supervision.
Ambitious parents and coaches with the best intentions can inflict the worst harm on a young person's psyche, sometimes scarring them for life. We do this when we set them up for failure by failing to recognize their individuality. We do this when we saddle them with our expectations, jam the metaphorical "bit" of unquestioning compliance in their mouths, and goad them to conquer obstacle courses of our making rather than setting them free to find the best version of themselves.
And 1 star for obliging her readers to endure the extraordinarily misguided and interminably tedious ordeal -- of trying to make a donkey behave like a horse.
This book could also have been titled "Spot the Ass." This is not meant as a slight. It comes from my sincere empathy for the author. Let me explain.
I'm sure many of us can recognize some part of ourselves in her. As parents. teachers,mentors, coaches -- we are constantly challenged to be discerning and realistic in the goals we set for the young people under our care and supervision.
Ambitious parents and coaches with the best intentions can inflict the worst harm on a young person's psyche, sometimes scarring them for life. We do this when we set them up for failure by failing to recognize their individuality. We do this when we saddle them with our expectations, jam the metaphorical "bit" of unquestioning compliance in their mouths, and goad them to conquer obstacle courses of our making rather than setting them free to find the best version of themselves.
December 27, 2022
“As much as I hated to look like a fool, I had chosen the very animal that—almost by definition—would make me do just that.”
Sad. The long subtitle tells it all: a case study in the folly of wishful thinking. Before Winslow writes the check to buy Caleb, a large Andalusian white donkey, the reader knows this won’t end well. Why didn’t she? Blinded by her dream. My wife giggled all the way through this and insisted I read it. I did but didn’t laugh much. It’s so sad.
“Then again, up here in wild Wyoming County (NY), the vet might just put both of us out of our misery.”
Three stars is a gift. Saved—if you call it that--by the clean, relatable prose and self-depreciating humor. Winslow projects herself into Caleb’s thoughts, but never seems to master her own. The first rule to disciplining a child is to discipline yourself. Winslow wasn’t, not relative to Caleb, and it showed.
“Well, what did you want, huh? A well-trained-safe trail partner? Or a useless, spoiled pet?” “Um. I, uh, I wanted both: a trail buddy and a pet.”
She wants a plush toy to cuddle; she gets a 1,700-pound living creature which reflected her moods and anxieties. And it is Caleb who suffers.
“Margie, Caleb understands more than you think he does. He thinks when you fly in here all in a rush that you’re mad at him, but he doesn’t know why. He is telling you he’s mad at you because you’re mad at him.”
Slow learner. Winslow, not Caleb. Without a doubt, the donkey is the smarter of the pair. She rewards his bad behavior and expects, no, hopes he’ll act differently. Not in this lifetime.
“I know I did absolutely everything wrong. Everything. Right from the day I brought him, and yet …” “He forgave you. Good luck with him.’
Sad. The long subtitle tells it all: a case study in the folly of wishful thinking. Before Winslow writes the check to buy Caleb, a large Andalusian white donkey, the reader knows this won’t end well. Why didn’t she? Blinded by her dream. My wife giggled all the way through this and insisted I read it. I did but didn’t laugh much. It’s so sad.
“Then again, up here in wild Wyoming County (NY), the vet might just put both of us out of our misery.”
Three stars is a gift. Saved—if you call it that--by the clean, relatable prose and self-depreciating humor. Winslow projects herself into Caleb’s thoughts, but never seems to master her own. The first rule to disciplining a child is to discipline yourself. Winslow wasn’t, not relative to Caleb, and it showed.
“Well, what did you want, huh? A well-trained-safe trail partner? Or a useless, spoiled pet?” “Um. I, uh, I wanted both: a trail buddy and a pet.”
She wants a plush toy to cuddle; she gets a 1,700-pound living creature which reflected her moods and anxieties. And it is Caleb who suffers.
“Margie, Caleb understands more than you think he does. He thinks when you fly in here all in a rush that you’re mad at him, but he doesn’t know why. He is telling you he’s mad at you because you’re mad at him.”
Slow learner. Winslow, not Caleb. Without a doubt, the donkey is the smarter of the pair. She rewards his bad behavior and expects, no, hopes he’ll act differently. Not in this lifetime.
“I know I did absolutely everything wrong. Everything. Right from the day I brought him, and yet …” “He forgave you. Good luck with him.’
December 30, 2018
You won't laugh your ass off reading this book about a woman in mid-life buying and attempting to train a donkey in upstate New York, but you will enjoy it. So many books are out there with the theme: animals change humans. Many don't really deliver. This one does.
Much of the book deals with Margaret's purchase of a white donkey and then the subsequent problems trying to train it. There are parts that make me feel sorry for Caleb's life, though. It's as if it's human nature to try to "train" an animal to do what the human wants, regardless if the animals understands or even wants to conform. There are a few times I'd like to take the whip the trainer used on Caleb and turn it on her.
That aside, Margaret does learn about animals and humans bonding. The epiphany all these animal books promise came through and it was nice. I think both Caleb and Margaret are happier. At least I hope they are.
There's a lot of donkey-training mayhem in this book and it makes for a fast read. However, Margaret does describe each episode well. It's not that repetitive. The funniest scene, I think, is when she opts to ride Caleb through what she thought was a vacant mental hospital. She stumbles upon some patients and one runs up to her. "Are you real?" he asks, thinking that seeing a woman riding a snow white donkey on the grounds may be a hallucination. Yes, she is real, and the book is a real attempt at showing how people and animals can co-exist if they try to understand each other.
Much of the book deals with Margaret's purchase of a white donkey and then the subsequent problems trying to train it. There are parts that make me feel sorry for Caleb's life, though. It's as if it's human nature to try to "train" an animal to do what the human wants, regardless if the animals understands or even wants to conform. There are a few times I'd like to take the whip the trainer used on Caleb and turn it on her.
That aside, Margaret does learn about animals and humans bonding. The epiphany all these animal books promise came through and it was nice. I think both Caleb and Margaret are happier. At least I hope they are.
There's a lot of donkey-training mayhem in this book and it makes for a fast read. However, Margaret does describe each episode well. It's not that repetitive. The funniest scene, I think, is when she opts to ride Caleb through what she thought was a vacant mental hospital. She stumbles upon some patients and one runs up to her. "Are you real?" he asks, thinking that seeing a woman riding a snow white donkey on the grounds may be a hallucination. Yes, she is real, and the book is a real attempt at showing how people and animals can co-exist if they try to understand each other.
May 14, 2019
Added to my horse shelf despite a donkey being quite a different animal as the author points out. I had not realized just how different the two equine species are in temperament, social interactions and thought processes. I really related with the author’s struggles to become “top dog” to her animal as I had similar experiences with my horse. Our inexperience and tenuous “control” resulted in so much struggle and heartbreak but while neither of us got the docile companion of our rosy imaginings there was still much love. I also related to the author’s choosing retirement as a result of work place stress and her inability to cope with the direction the Board was taking the institution. Been there, too.
March 7, 2019
1.5 Stars
So disappointed in this book. While I did learn a few facts about donkeys, how Caleb was treated is sad. Purchased without any true knowledge and shipped back and forth without any true training goal (wanting a 'trail buddy' yet forcing him to learn dressage?), I question why get an animal and board him if you only see him a few hours a week? I feel sorry for Caleb.
So disappointed in this book. While I did learn a few facts about donkeys, how Caleb was treated is sad. Purchased without any true knowledge and shipped back and forth without any true training goal (wanting a 'trail buddy' yet forcing him to learn dressage?), I question why get an animal and board him if you only see him a few hours a week? I feel sorry for Caleb.
June 17, 2019
A scientific writer new to memoirs, Winslow kindly shares with us details of how she made the transition (in the acknowledgments), which show that it does indeed take a village to write a book.
Margaret paints scenes vividly, and her characters are alive. Uniquely, she doesn’t seem to try to make all characters uniformly positive, even as she likes them and includes their pictures.
The chapters are all very bite sized, 8 to 10 large font pages, so the opposite of intimidating. Yet the college professor vocabulary and range of structure isn’t Just children’s literature.
Given that I’m not really into riding animals, or donkey, I wonder aloud why I’m reading this book. My daughter, who is very much into both, picked it out, and I’m trying to connect! Okay??! But what are amazing adventures and deep thoughts to Margaret, don’t really attach to me the same way…
Margaret’s imagery though can make even the mundane interesting: “She and Bonnie were headed for the Pearly Gates, with my donkey tooting his trumpet.” (p62) Both clever foreshadowing and less clever entendres on “ass” are widely available!
Halfway through, I’m getting quite over hearing about Caleb’s (very consistent) personality, and the mostly internal challenges that the author faces in dealing with him. The scenes change (slightly) but the story is the same.. I’m also wondering how all of this attempted training is just a waste of Everyone’s time... I’m also not as interested as I would probably need to become in her internal dialog about Caleb and he persistent attempts to actually talk to him. I say this as a man who insanely talks to his chickens, but I don’t indulge others in listening to me do it.
I guess I’m glad to have confirmed that donkeys are somewhat smart, certainly enough to know and respond to their names and insist on a fair allocation of treats. Historically, sad how much animal abuse was common/customary.
Winslow does open herself up, and makes herself vulnerable throughout the book. Which makes it very hard for me to say that by the end of the book, I had not built up enough empathy to appreciate the most dramatic final few chapters. It isn’t heroic when you overcome problems which you only imagined yourself, created by your own wishful thinking. Her constant complaints about the administrators at her very nice college tenured job (at a prestigious so likely above average managed institution) perhaps excessively color my impression of her.
Others may naturally offer much more empathy (and may agree with her position against the college’s turn to “entrepreneurship") … yet either way, I’m grateful and glad for the happy ending, however likely, without which this book would never have been attempted.
Winslow does sincerely thank Farley in the acknowledgements, but I feel she totally took the wrong message from the whole experience. Caleb “avoided the glue factory” to use her tasteless euphemism, not because Margaret bonded with his innate nature, but because Farley taught him how to behave with humans. Margie didn’t, and didn’t show proper gratitude for techniques she still considers barbaric, yet benefits from. I do see some of this misplaced lack of gratitude in my own life (say for the fossil fuel industry) but at least i’m not endlessly oblivious to it.
Complex thoughts, highlighted in the highly pretentious subtitle … again, others may find them rather profound.
Margaret paints scenes vividly, and her characters are alive. Uniquely, she doesn’t seem to try to make all characters uniformly positive, even as she likes them and includes their pictures.
The chapters are all very bite sized, 8 to 10 large font pages, so the opposite of intimidating. Yet the college professor vocabulary and range of structure isn’t Just children’s literature.
Given that I’m not really into riding animals, or donkey, I wonder aloud why I’m reading this book. My daughter, who is very much into both, picked it out, and I’m trying to connect! Okay??! But what are amazing adventures and deep thoughts to Margaret, don’t really attach to me the same way…
Margaret’s imagery though can make even the mundane interesting: “She and Bonnie were headed for the Pearly Gates, with my donkey tooting his trumpet.” (p62) Both clever foreshadowing and less clever entendres on “ass” are widely available!
Halfway through, I’m getting quite over hearing about Caleb’s (very consistent) personality, and the mostly internal challenges that the author faces in dealing with him. The scenes change (slightly) but the story is the same.. I’m also wondering how all of this attempted training is just a waste of Everyone’s time... I’m also not as interested as I would probably need to become in her internal dialog about Caleb and he persistent attempts to actually talk to him. I say this as a man who insanely talks to his chickens, but I don’t indulge others in listening to me do it.
I guess I’m glad to have confirmed that donkeys are somewhat smart, certainly enough to know and respond to their names and insist on a fair allocation of treats. Historically, sad how much animal abuse was common/customary.
Winslow does open herself up, and makes herself vulnerable throughout the book. Which makes it very hard for me to say that by the end of the book, I had not built up enough empathy to appreciate the most dramatic final few chapters. It isn’t heroic when you overcome problems which you only imagined yourself, created by your own wishful thinking. Her constant complaints about the administrators at her very nice college tenured job (at a prestigious so likely above average managed institution) perhaps excessively color my impression of her.
Others may naturally offer much more empathy (and may agree with her position against the college’s turn to “entrepreneurship") … yet either way, I’m grateful and glad for the happy ending, however likely, without which this book would never have been attempted.
Winslow does sincerely thank Farley in the acknowledgements, but I feel she totally took the wrong message from the whole experience. Caleb “avoided the glue factory” to use her tasteless euphemism, not because Margaret bonded with his innate nature, but because Farley taught him how to behave with humans. Margie didn’t, and didn’t show proper gratitude for techniques she still considers barbaric, yet benefits from. I do see some of this misplaced lack of gratitude in my own life (say for the fossil fuel industry) but at least i’m not endlessly oblivious to it.
Complex thoughts, highlighted in the highly pretentious subtitle … again, others may find them rather profound.
April 2, 2020
With 95% donkey challenges and only 5% discovering her nature, Winslow focuses entirely too long on the negative. Often her descriptions of other people and very often her own thoughts make her and just about everyone else unlikeable. You feel mighty sorry for the donkey. The 5% demonstration of growth and understanding displayed at the end should have been say 20% of the book and developed more fully.
April 22, 2021
I forced myself, for once, to read a book through to the end to see if it would get any better. It didn't. I could not wait until it was over. Lesson learned: Life's too short for mediocre books.
December 24, 2018
I guess I was disappointed with this. I saw a brief description of this book in a brochure at a local independent bookstore. My local public library didn't have a copy so I recommended (sight unseen) that they acquire a copy (using an online form on the library web site). In time the title was acquired and I checked it out of the library.
Dr. Winslow purchases Caleb, a large white donkey, based on an unexplained lifelong interest in these creatures, without any first hand experience with them. Living in New York City, she finds Caleb on sale and locates a stable within driving distance where he is kept and available for her to ride.
The idea of the book apparently is to tell the story of how she learned some lessons about herself through her experiences with Caleb and his training. The book is just over 200 pages, but it seemed to cover the same kind of experiences over and over. I was not sure what the lesson(s) was she learned.
I think the author missed an opportunity to look at the modern day relationship of people with different kinds of animals that they own and how these relationships vary. She makes clear she wants to relate to Caleb mostly as a pet, albeit a pet that she could take on a trail ride. But this is a donkey who weighs 700 pounds and I'm not sure most persons with horses, for example, usually think of them as "pets." She expresses unhappiness with the three different training approaches she describes, but has little luck with her own "pet" driven gentler-kinder approach. Her relationship with the donkey is the largest part of the story (there is some discussion of her relationship to other people who provide different training, too) but I have no idea how she thought about that, other than we can see that she chooses to avoid a highly disciplinary sort of approach if at all possible. She takes criticism for not being sufficiently "alpha" in her relationship with her animal but whether she considers this meaningful is a mystery. This all seems like a missed opportunity in this book.
Separately Dr. Winslow seems to assume a reader will know certain basic information; I'm not so sure. There is almost no background information on donkeys, mules and horses. And for example she talks about riding in different situations at different gates (walk, trot, canter, gallop) but offers no explanation for what those are. I don't think most people know the basics of riding these days.
Could have been better.
Dr. Winslow purchases Caleb, a large white donkey, based on an unexplained lifelong interest in these creatures, without any first hand experience with them. Living in New York City, she finds Caleb on sale and locates a stable within driving distance where he is kept and available for her to ride.
The idea of the book apparently is to tell the story of how she learned some lessons about herself through her experiences with Caleb and his training. The book is just over 200 pages, but it seemed to cover the same kind of experiences over and over. I was not sure what the lesson(s) was she learned.
I think the author missed an opportunity to look at the modern day relationship of people with different kinds of animals that they own and how these relationships vary. She makes clear she wants to relate to Caleb mostly as a pet, albeit a pet that she could take on a trail ride. But this is a donkey who weighs 700 pounds and I'm not sure most persons with horses, for example, usually think of them as "pets." She expresses unhappiness with the three different training approaches she describes, but has little luck with her own "pet" driven gentler-kinder approach. Her relationship with the donkey is the largest part of the story (there is some discussion of her relationship to other people who provide different training, too) but I have no idea how she thought about that, other than we can see that she chooses to avoid a highly disciplinary sort of approach if at all possible. She takes criticism for not being sufficiently "alpha" in her relationship with her animal but whether she considers this meaningful is a mystery. This all seems like a missed opportunity in this book.
Separately Dr. Winslow seems to assume a reader will know certain basic information; I'm not so sure. There is almost no background information on donkeys, mules and horses. And for example she talks about riding in different situations at different gates (walk, trot, canter, gallop) but offers no explanation for what those are. I don't think most people know the basics of riding these days.
Could have been better.
February 7, 2019
I have mixed feelings about this book, I would rate it 2 1/2. I love stories about quirky animals and the people who love them. I loved Caleb, he is adorable, huge, and sounds as though he can be quite cantankerous. However, I just didn't feel the love coming from his new owner -- it sounds like she wanted to love him and she wanted to do right by him, but got in over her head with him and maybe should have realized that at an earlier date and let him be adopted by someone more experienced rather than waiting until things got so bad that nobody would be interested in him? I don't think he should have been adopted to her, not because she isn't well-intentioned or kind -- she would have been better with a more docile donkey as a first time unexperienced owner. It didn't sound like he was having such a great life either - on one hand I was glad to hear she didn't give up on him, but on the other hand he may be a better donkey if he had a more experienced owner.
April 29, 2019
Endorsements:
“This unusual, engaging story of a woman and her donkey will undoubtedly win many hearts.”
— Publishers Weekly
“Winslow’s writing is at times laugh-out-loud funny, including her recollections of riding Caleb through what she thought was an abandoned psychiatric center and competing in a dressage competition. It is also poignant as she struggles with how best to train with Caleb while maintaining a challenging work-life balance. A moving and humorous account of what a woman learned about herself as she trained a donkey.”
— Booklist
“Adoption — be it of a cat, a child, or in Margaret Winslow’s case, a donkey — demands time, trust, and the flexibility to alter one’s expectations. This tender story of a frustrated academic and an indomitable beast delivers the drama of this struggle and, ultimately, the gift of love.”
— Tina Traster, author of Rescuing Julia Twice: A Mother's Tale of Russian Adoption and Overcoming Reactive Attachment Disorder and director/producer of the documentary Catnip Nation
“Laugh and cry as Margaret Winslow parks her ego to accept the honest reflection a donkey provides — endearing comedy and blatant humiliation.”
— Karlene Stange, DVM, author of The Spiritual Nature of Animals: A Country Vet Explores the Wisdom, Compassion, and Souls of Animals
“A testament to the power of love and forgiveness, no matter how long humans take to really hear what animals tell them from deep within their hearts. A complex story with an ultimately simple message, Smart Ass has a happy and touching ending for both Caleb and his finally centered human.”
— Best Friends Magazine
“Donkeys are amazing animal beings. Twice my life was changed by an up-close-and-personal meeting with a donkey who seemed to know precisely what I was thinking and feeling. So I fully understand Margaret Winslow’s being rescued by Caleb’s charm, presence, and sense of humor, along with his ability to trust and to forgive. I hope Smart Ass enjoys a broad global audience because there are so many life lessons to be learned from the nonhuman animals who bless our lives if we allow them in.”
— Marc Bekoff, PhD, author of The Emotional Lives of Animals: A Leading Scientist Explores Animal Joy, Sorrow, and Empathy - and Why They Matter
“I love Margaret Winslow’s book and all it teaches us about the true nature of life, from the power of love to the reality of animal communication. More than anything, Smart Ass teaches us about reverence for life.”
— Dr. Bernie S. Siegel, author of Love, Animals, and Miracles: Inspiring True Stories Celebrating the Healing Bond and 365 Prescriptions for the Soul: Daily Messages of Inspiration, Hope, and Love
“No creatures are more misunderstood than donkeys. They challenge us to look inside ourselves for the answers to their problems, and in doing so they help us grow as humans. Every donkey will take you on a journey of self-discovery if you let them, and Caleb is no different. He has a message for you about the way we treat and respect animals, each other, and ourselves. Heartbreaking, funny, encouraging, and enlightening, Smart Ass is a beautifully written story that questions our own stubbornness as a species and asks us to learn how to trust ourselves.”
— Ben Hart, animal behaviorist and trainer at Hart’s Horsemanship and the Donkey Sanctuary
“Smart Ass inspires us with a delightful odd-couple relationship between a white donkey and a middle-aged college professor, a grand story of humorous, wise insights into the challenges and rewards of following one’s unlikely hopes and dreams. Margaret Winslow’s story of Caleb the donkey unfolds as a mythic tale — wild, tender, and at times dangerous — of a woman who faces midlife issues by purchasing a stubborn, willful, and affectionate long-eared member of the equine family. Readers travel the rocky trail of their mutual life journeys, hammering out hard-won accomplishments of cross-species communication and finally arriving at a new and better way of living through loyalty to one’s true self.”
— Patricia Broersma, author of Riding into Your Mythic Life: Transformational Adventures with the Horse
“Smart Ass is a remarkable, finely written memoir with both an engaging story and a surprising lesson. As author Margaret Winslow pursues her dream and learns to listen to her seven-hundred-pound donkey, she learns to listen to her true self. The chapters flow forward with skillfully crafted scenes, leading the reader to root for both Margaret and Caleb — and finally to share in their lifelong lesson of trust and forgiveness.”
— Susan M. Tiberghien, author of One Year to a Writing Life: Twelve Lessons to Deepen Every Writer's Art and Craft
“This unusual, engaging story of a woman and her donkey will undoubtedly win many hearts.”
— Publishers Weekly
“Winslow’s writing is at times laugh-out-loud funny, including her recollections of riding Caleb through what she thought was an abandoned psychiatric center and competing in a dressage competition. It is also poignant as she struggles with how best to train with Caleb while maintaining a challenging work-life balance. A moving and humorous account of what a woman learned about herself as she trained a donkey.”
— Booklist
“Adoption — be it of a cat, a child, or in Margaret Winslow’s case, a donkey — demands time, trust, and the flexibility to alter one’s expectations. This tender story of a frustrated academic and an indomitable beast delivers the drama of this struggle and, ultimately, the gift of love.”
— Tina Traster, author of Rescuing Julia Twice: A Mother's Tale of Russian Adoption and Overcoming Reactive Attachment Disorder and director/producer of the documentary Catnip Nation
“Laugh and cry as Margaret Winslow parks her ego to accept the honest reflection a donkey provides — endearing comedy and blatant humiliation.”
— Karlene Stange, DVM, author of The Spiritual Nature of Animals: A Country Vet Explores the Wisdom, Compassion, and Souls of Animals
“A testament to the power of love and forgiveness, no matter how long humans take to really hear what animals tell them from deep within their hearts. A complex story with an ultimately simple message, Smart Ass has a happy and touching ending for both Caleb and his finally centered human.”
— Best Friends Magazine
“Donkeys are amazing animal beings. Twice my life was changed by an up-close-and-personal meeting with a donkey who seemed to know precisely what I was thinking and feeling. So I fully understand Margaret Winslow’s being rescued by Caleb’s charm, presence, and sense of humor, along with his ability to trust and to forgive. I hope Smart Ass enjoys a broad global audience because there are so many life lessons to be learned from the nonhuman animals who bless our lives if we allow them in.”
— Marc Bekoff, PhD, author of The Emotional Lives of Animals: A Leading Scientist Explores Animal Joy, Sorrow, and Empathy - and Why They Matter
“I love Margaret Winslow’s book and all it teaches us about the true nature of life, from the power of love to the reality of animal communication. More than anything, Smart Ass teaches us about reverence for life.”
— Dr. Bernie S. Siegel, author of Love, Animals, and Miracles: Inspiring True Stories Celebrating the Healing Bond and 365 Prescriptions for the Soul: Daily Messages of Inspiration, Hope, and Love
“No creatures are more misunderstood than donkeys. They challenge us to look inside ourselves for the answers to their problems, and in doing so they help us grow as humans. Every donkey will take you on a journey of self-discovery if you let them, and Caleb is no different. He has a message for you about the way we treat and respect animals, each other, and ourselves. Heartbreaking, funny, encouraging, and enlightening, Smart Ass is a beautifully written story that questions our own stubbornness as a species and asks us to learn how to trust ourselves.”
— Ben Hart, animal behaviorist and trainer at Hart’s Horsemanship and the Donkey Sanctuary
“Smart Ass inspires us with a delightful odd-couple relationship between a white donkey and a middle-aged college professor, a grand story of humorous, wise insights into the challenges and rewards of following one’s unlikely hopes and dreams. Margaret Winslow’s story of Caleb the donkey unfolds as a mythic tale — wild, tender, and at times dangerous — of a woman who faces midlife issues by purchasing a stubborn, willful, and affectionate long-eared member of the equine family. Readers travel the rocky trail of their mutual life journeys, hammering out hard-won accomplishments of cross-species communication and finally arriving at a new and better way of living through loyalty to one’s true self.”
— Patricia Broersma, author of Riding into Your Mythic Life: Transformational Adventures with the Horse
“Smart Ass is a remarkable, finely written memoir with both an engaging story and a surprising lesson. As author Margaret Winslow pursues her dream and learns to listen to her seven-hundred-pound donkey, she learns to listen to her true self. The chapters flow forward with skillfully crafted scenes, leading the reader to root for both Margaret and Caleb — and finally to share in their lifelong lesson of trust and forgiveness.”
— Susan M. Tiberghien, author of One Year to a Writing Life: Twelve Lessons to Deepen Every Writer's Art and Craft
December 24, 2018
I found this book on the “passenger book exchange” shelf in the library of a cruise ship I was on recently. The title intrigued me as I care very much for he care snd welfare of animals.
While not as heartwarming as Sy Montgomery’s, “A Good Good Pig”, I very much enjoyed Margaret Winslow’s telling of her experiences with Caleb the donkey.
While not as heartwarming as Sy Montgomery’s, “A Good Good Pig”, I very much enjoyed Margaret Winslow’s telling of her experiences with Caleb the donkey.
March 24, 2019
Author appears to suffer from lack of even half a brain. Park this book in the category of Another Book Fueled by Ignorance-of-the-Animal kind and the Obvious Desire to Make a Fast Buck. Chapters consist of cringe-worthy descriptions of bone-headed contributions to the suffering of blameless animals. A lesson from Beautiful Joe is in order.
March 28, 2019
Horrible story. The donkey was abused and treated terribly with outdated, inhumane training methods. Awful to read. Kept waiting for a turnaround and the author to realize what an ass she was for allowing Caleb to be abused, but alas, she never “got it”, and it seems she won’t in the future. Animal lovers and believers in force-free training beware and stay away from this book.
February 13, 2019
What a great story! I was into this from page 1! Margaret tells the story well. At times it actually made me laugh! Of course, Caleb, the donkey, is fantastic. I discovered things about donkey's that I never knew and it has a great ending! I recommend this one! (Gerard's review)
December 12, 2018
This book was honestly hilarious, good-natured, and a poignant reminder of how much we have to learn from non-humans.
December 23, 2018
This was thoroughly entertaining and made me laugh out loud more than once. I admire the author for her perseverance.
December 30, 2018
Light, funny, touching. I loved it and read it in just a few day, laughing my way thru it.
January 30, 2019
Fun light read.
February 8, 2019
While I liked the book, I thought that poor Caleb was being treated really unkindly, however I realize that the author was messed up herself, so tried to give her grace. Glad it had a good ending.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 28, 2020
Two things about this book captured my attention: the cheeky punny title, and the introspective-sounding subtitle. On the first count, I'd say that this donkey was smart enough to submit to authority and training when warranted, and when to assert its own will when he found the lack of a firm hand..... which brings it to the second point, in that the subtitle would be more on point if it read: "How a Donkey Challenged Me" [period]!
The author, an acclaimed geologist living in the suburbs of New York City, purchased a donkey for the purpose of making him a walking-trail companion, as well as a pet. As seeing that that her place of residence had no room to pen a donkey, she had him stabled in a nearby establishment, and would only see him for a few hours on weekends or when she is able to get away from her busy schedule.
The donkey, Caleb, behaves precisely as one would expect a child who is acting up to exact a particular kind of response from a parent, or in this case, the owner. Ms. Winslow, who from the very start has tried to befriend and get into Caleb's good graces though words of affirmation and treats, inadvertently ends up bribing him to obey instructions, and giving in and placating him even when Caleb does not do as commanded. One would think that it would send confusing signals, but Caleb is wily-smart. He knows what he can get away with, and with whom, and does exactly that.
This goes on for 3 years(!), and all through this duration, Caleb was being stabled and trained (at two different locations) and while he would obey his trainers, it will be a 180-flip of behavior the moment Ms. Winslow showed up. And for three years, she lets Caleb get away with it... and by the end of the book, it remained a case of "if you can't beat them, just accept that the outcome you are settling for is one that you were expecting anyway."
As for what the donkey showed, it was willfulness and tenacity. And as for what Ms. Winslow learned or rediscovered from that interaction, I am quite uncertain. Towards the end, she did stand up for something she firmly believed in, but I am sure that she would have arrived at that conclusion all on her own, sans the need for being schooled by an ass, even if it was a smart one!
* Read for the '2020 PopSugar Reading Challenge' task: A book about or by a woman in STEM
The author, an acclaimed geologist living in the suburbs of New York City, purchased a donkey for the purpose of making him a walking-trail companion, as well as a pet. As seeing that that her place of residence had no room to pen a donkey, she had him stabled in a nearby establishment, and would only see him for a few hours on weekends or when she is able to get away from her busy schedule.
The donkey, Caleb, behaves precisely as one would expect a child who is acting up to exact a particular kind of response from a parent, or in this case, the owner. Ms. Winslow, who from the very start has tried to befriend and get into Caleb's good graces though words of affirmation and treats, inadvertently ends up bribing him to obey instructions, and giving in and placating him even when Caleb does not do as commanded. One would think that it would send confusing signals, but Caleb is wily-smart. He knows what he can get away with, and with whom, and does exactly that.
This goes on for 3 years(!), and all through this duration, Caleb was being stabled and trained (at two different locations) and while he would obey his trainers, it will be a 180-flip of behavior the moment Ms. Winslow showed up. And for three years, she lets Caleb get away with it... and by the end of the book, it remained a case of "if you can't beat them, just accept that the outcome you are settling for is one that you were expecting anyway."
As for what the donkey showed, it was willfulness and tenacity. And as for what Ms. Winslow learned or rediscovered from that interaction, I am quite uncertain. Towards the end, she did stand up for something she firmly believed in, but I am sure that she would have arrived at that conclusion all on her own, sans the need for being schooled by an ass, even if it was a smart one!
* Read for the '2020 PopSugar Reading Challenge' task: A book about or by a woman in STEM
June 4, 2024
It was an interesting story, but one full of mistakes. I think it was cruel that Caleb was treated the way he was, when even I knew what he needed from a quarter of the way through the book. He didn't need to be locked up and trained in a ring for hours each week, he needed to be ridden in the field and bond with his owner, allowed to go where he wanted (with some limit of course). I also think the inclusion of the authors tumultuous teaching career really was not very well done. Whenever she talked about that or how it was so difficult as a woman to be in the field of geology I couldn't help but roll my eyes. As a woman myself, I'm sure it was difficult when she was in college, but if you want to talk about that, write a book about it, not drop it into your book about a donkey every once in a while. This book made me sad and frustrated at times, but I don't regret reading it. In fact, now if I ever want to get a donkey I'm a little more informed. But after this book I doubt I ever will.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 15, 2019
Wow. This is an awful story. The problem was the author has no background in horses or donkeys so she has no idea when what she is talking about is good or bad.
She describes working with a natural horse,a ship trainer who beats the donkey with a carrot stick and berates her for talking to the donkey. That’s totally inappropriate for that type of training. If she knew anything about it she’d have known that. You never beat an animal in any kind of training, ESPECIALLY natural horsemanship.
At the time time she’s complaining that western bridles are super harsh. They aren’t if they are used by gentle people. She didn’t have any gentle people around her. She need to be getting herself and her donkey away from these horrible mule trainers instead of thinking they were great.
Super frustrating book to read if you have any background in horses or donkeys.
She describes working with a natural horse,a ship trainer who beats the donkey with a carrot stick and berates her for talking to the donkey. That’s totally inappropriate for that type of training. If she knew anything about it she’d have known that. You never beat an animal in any kind of training, ESPECIALLY natural horsemanship.
At the time time she’s complaining that western bridles are super harsh. They aren’t if they are used by gentle people. She didn’t have any gentle people around her. She need to be getting herself and her donkey away from these horrible mule trainers instead of thinking they were great.
Super frustrating book to read if you have any background in horses or donkeys.
May 11, 2020
My heart broke for Caleb and the "training" he endured. While the owner may have had grand visions of owning a donkey and having a "best friend", it's clear the people she trusted to assist her failed this poor soul miserably.
The only redeeming thing about this book, was the ending, where at least at the age of 21 years, he seemed content and settled. I can only hope that that contentment and peace came at a much younger age.
It's really a cautionary tale of what NOT to do with any animal. There is responsibility, leadership and compassion involved in caring for any animal. Allowing anything treatment of any kind that doesn't include that isn't being a good caretaker of another living being.
While relieved that Caleb didn't end up at in a worse situation or slaughter, it was saddening to read of his first years, enduring such trauma.
The only redeeming thing about this book, was the ending, where at least at the age of 21 years, he seemed content and settled. I can only hope that that contentment and peace came at a much younger age.
It's really a cautionary tale of what NOT to do with any animal. There is responsibility, leadership and compassion involved in caring for any animal. Allowing anything treatment of any kind that doesn't include that isn't being a good caretaker of another living being.
While relieved that Caleb didn't end up at in a worse situation or slaughter, it was saddening to read of his first years, enduring such trauma.
September 15, 2019
I was all set to give this book a 5 star because I REALLY liked it. I am an inexperience equine person and I know all about that kind of insecurity. I also used to volunteer at a donkey rescue, and so I have a soft spot in my heart for that. I did get a little frustrated because she acted like she had no "authority" over the animal and then was surprised when things went wrong, but as that's the book, there you go. What really dropped the rating for me was the last few chapters when things just "magically turned around." To me, it read like the editors put some pressure on her to present an improved image. I'm not saying she changed her story, just that she possibly chose to gloss over a few things. Still, a REALLY good read.
September 15, 2020
The reason I gave the book 4 stars is the motivation it provided to quit spoiling my dog. He was getting pushy and demanding...and then I remembered I am the alpha, humans should understand the nature of the animal and then assert dominion...or leave it alone. This book was very frustrating at her lack of improvement over what seemed like years. How long can you walk the donkey instead of ride it.
The writing style works for the type of book she presented. It was interesting and did flow and was easy to read. The author also didn’t fix up the trainers or her own flaws for artistic license. I give her a star for that...so the book is a frustrating animal story that shows that tough love is a necessary element when dealing with animals.(and children too!)
The writing style works for the type of book she presented. It was interesting and did flow and was easy to read. The author also didn’t fix up the trainers or her own flaws for artistic license. I give her a star for that...so the book is a frustrating animal story that shows that tough love is a necessary element when dealing with animals.(and children too!)
June 30, 2021
It's a beautifully written book, but I'm not sure I'd call it 'hilarious' like the ad copy says. It was pretty painful to read of her struggles with training Caleb.
I began riding around the same year as the author, and I had a nearly identical experience in that neither traditional horsemanship or """natural""" horsemanship was close to being the answer. The interludes of being a tenured college professor in a school that was being taken over by profit-minded business types were even more depressing.
Despite all this, I read it in one sitting because I just couldn't put it down. I'm definitely going to check out her other, non-equine works!
I began riding around the same year as the author, and I had a nearly identical experience in that neither traditional horsemanship or """natural""" horsemanship was close to being the answer. The interludes of being a tenured college professor in a school that was being taken over by profit-minded business types were even more depressing.
Despite all this, I read it in one sitting because I just couldn't put it down. I'm definitely going to check out her other, non-equine works!
May 4, 2019
Wonderful story! I am a big fan of animal stories and was to tickled to see this in my local library. I empathized with the author as she tried to overcome her insecurities, and I related to her need to make Caleb her friend. There is a huge learning curve associated with her acquisition of a large donkey and his training and boarding was not easy. My heart was breaking as she described her thoughts about giving up Caleb and admitting her "defeat" as she struggled to find a way through the difficulties. I hope it's no too much of a spoiler to say that there is a happy ending.
July 29, 2019
I liked this book, but it had some cringe-worthy moments. Poor Caleb -- he was just being a donkey, but all those "trainers" seemed determined to make him something else. And Margie was so often clueless -- which she admits. OK -- my favorite part was when she snatched the whip/stick from Sara and screamed "stop it -- stop hitting him". I thought M might have gotten more of a clue from the original owners, but apparently not. But -- she hung in there, and hopefully she and Caleb are buddies and he has a decent life.
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