Going Dutch

by James Gregor

Exhausted by dead-end forays in the gay dating scene, surrounded constantly by friends but deeply lonely in New York City, and drifting into academic abyss, twenty-something graduate student Richard has plenty of sources of anxiety. But at the forefront is his crippling writer’s block, which threatens daily to derail his graduate funding and leave Richard poor, directionless, and desperately single.

Enter Anne: his brilliant classmate who offers to “help” Richard write his papers in exchange for his company, despite Richard’s fairly obvious sexual orientation. Still, he needs her help, and it doesn’t hurt that Anne has folded Richard into her abundant lifestyle. What begins as an initially transactional relationship blooms gradually into something more complex.

But then a one-swipe-stand with an attractive, successful lawyer named Blake becomes serious, and Richard suddenly finds himself unable to detach from Anne, entangled in her web of privilege, brilliance, and, oddly, her unabashed acceptance of Richard’s flaws. As the two relationships reach points of serious commitment, Richard soon finds himself on a romantic and existential collision course—one that brings about surprising revelations.

Going Dutch is an incisive portrait of relationships in an age of digital romantic abundance, but it’s also a heartfelt and humorous exploration of love and sexuality, and a poignant meditation on the things emotionally ravenous people seek from and do to each other. James Gregor announces himself with levity, and a fresh, exciting voice in his debut.

Genres: Fiction, Romance, LGBT, Contemporary, Audiobook, Queer, Adult

352 pages, Hardcover

First published August 20, 2019

Reviews

[peachygirl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Received an ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Going Dutch was a decent enough read. But the protagonist was very unlikable. Fickle and unreliable, I had a hard time seeing Richard as the good guy. The only reason I didn't DNF this book was because of the extremely eloquent narration.

The story revolves around a 20 something single gay guy pursuing his Doctorate in New York with a very low self-esteem and seemingly incurable writer's block.
At first glance, Richard appears as a nice nerdy guy with relatively normal relationship struggles, insecurities and an empty wallet. But he turns out to be a selfish, pathetic liar who cheats on two people and calls it "his due" for all the lonely years he has spent without love. He uses Anne, a fellow doctoral candidate, to get ahead in his career and pay for his extravagant dining habits. He gets into a pseudo relationship with her, treats her like dirt, yet plays the victim card every time she takes a stand.

In the meantime, he also gets into a serious relationship with Blake, a lawyer/actor he finds on OkCupid and builds everyday fantasies around him, only to walk out on him when things don't go his way, claiming to be suffocated in an unequal relationship. Whatever deep rooted pathological issues Anne might be having, I was hoping she would say 'No, thanks' when Richard came around the second time. Even Blake was pitiful, playing second fiddle in a completely messed up relationship. There was not a single halfway healthy relationship portrayed in the book.

Sexual ambiguity apart, Richard was two timing and taking advantage of a lonely, desperate woman. I don't think I can sympathize with a character like that, no matter how hard or how desolate his life is.
Even the awesome writing couldn't save this insipid storyline. 3 stars, and that too only because I'm feeling generous.

[Dennis · Rating 5 out of 5]

First and foremost, I see that there's a lot of mixed reviews for this title, so I must assume that either they aren't: a) queer folks who identify in the LGBTQ+ community; and/or b) never stepped foot in New York City—the premise of the book is dating in NYC and literally everyone dines out instead of cooks when your apartment is the size of a normal person's closet.

I just had to state that clarifying statement before I began my review of James Gregor's debut novel, Going Dutch because I'm actually quite annoyed to see some lackluster reviews for it with little supporting basis as to why.

Going Dutch is centered around one protagonist, Richard—a twenty-something year old graduate student, struggling to live in Brooklyn while completing his education. As he is struggling financially, he is also having a difficult time in his program trying to get financial aid through his writing grants. Richard identifies as a gay man and is having trouble meeting the right guy. Between flaky first dates, swiping left and right, and hook-up apps ruining dating culture, Richard is tired of going through with this process, each time leaving him disappointed.

One of Richard's colleagues, Anne, is the daughter of rich parents, who help fund her lifestyle. Anne is an overweight, lonely woman, who is desperate for companionship and sets up an arrangement with Richard. She will help write his papers, as long as he can provide his companionship. Anne understands that Richard is gay, but just wants to have someone to talk to. As their relationship develops into something a little more complicated, Richard ends up meeting the guy of his dreams. This successful lawyer, Blake is the complete package and has won Richard over. What starts off as an innocent love triangle eventually gets way more complicated. Richard has a decision to make—is he ready for commitment with the perfect guy or will Anne's privilege and power be too much for him to turn away?

Going Dutch is a no-nonsense romantic dramedy that throws away the connotation that romance novels need to have a picturesque fairy tale storyline. This book is dark, honest, and direct—millennials are struggling in our country and in New York anything goes. The glamour and glitz of the wealthy in New York can be alluring to those who want it most, and sometimes that can definitely get in the way of dating, even as a gay man. Living in New York, I actually know people who have had similar predicaments as Richard and it literally is like putting a mirror in front of their faces for me.

I enjoyed this book a lot, even at times where it felt it was a little too pretentious for me. I guess it's because the story is so well written that I forget that this is how talented writers assemble their stories. I've been stuck in the thriller game for too long folks! This book definitely was a good palate cleanser for me, and kind of makes me want to take a break from reading mystery/thrillers! I can't believe I'm actually writing this right now! This book comes out 8/20, so it'll be the perfect lounge chair read this Labor Day Weekend. I finished it within a day—I couldn't put it down! Let me know in the comments what you think about Going Dutch . James Gregor, I'm ready for your next book!

[Larry H · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars.

There's often a tremendous amount of anxiety around being single. No one wants to be alone, especially when it seems as if all of their friends are coupling (or even throupling). But when date after date seems to go nowhere, how do we handle our feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, and fear that we're destined to spend the rest of our lives by ourselves?

This is just one of the crises plaguing Richard, the protagonist of James Gregor's debut novel, Going Dutch .

In addition to unrequited love for his flaky best friend, and a string of bad dates from dating apps, Richard is dealing with significant writer's block on his graduate thesis, which he must continue to make progress on or he'll lose his fellowship, which covers his tuition and living expenses. Certainly the fear of losing his funding and having to drop out of school should motivate him, but he can't seem to move forward.

When Anne, one of his classmates, offers to "help" Richard overcome his writer's block by writing his papers, it proves both a solution and a dilemma. All Anne really seems to want is his companionship, and her lifestyle is far more opulent than Richard's, so it seems like a fairly easy decision. His conscience nags him from time to time that he's actually committing academic dishonesty, but Anne doesn't seem particularly interested in his contributions, and she doesn't seem to mind doing the work.

The lifeline she throws him becomes a bit more complicated, however, as her desire for his company grows. She knows he is gay, but she's not interested at all in that aspect of his life. She wants more and more of his time, and doesn't like when she's not his singular focus. Richard can't exactly pinpoint how he feels about her—he's not romantically interested in her, but there's something about her he finds appealing.

"Anne's energy was jarring but invigorating, an inconclusive mix of maturity and immaturity. She was like a child let loose in the restraint and focus of an adult. But she was also like a mother who hands you a heavy towel and squeezes you after you've wrapped it around your shoulders, telling you to dry your hair because you lose heat through your head. At odd moments he found himself enchanted."

Things get more complicated when Blake, a lawyer with whom Richard had one frustrating date, suddenly reappears and is very interested in him. Richard is excited about the prospect of a relationship he has longed for, but how can he balance his desire to be with Blake with his obligation to spend time with Anne, given the academic hold she has over him?

Going Dutch definitely raises some interesting questions and provides timely social commentary on dating in the gay community. I just really didn't enjoy this book because I found every single one of the characters completely off-putting. While Gregor provides some insight into Richard's psyche, he is so manipulative and unappealing that I didn't much care what happened to him, and I felt the same way about Anne, Blake, Patrick, even Anne's periodic roommates.

I liked the way Gregor writes, but this book just didn't work for me, perhaps because I've known people whose behaviors and actions resemble those of some of the characters.

NetGalley and Simon & Schuster provided me a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!

This book publishes August 20, 2019.

See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.

Check out my list of the best books I read in 2018 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2018.html.

You can follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.

[Scott · Rating 2 out of 5]

I often like to begin reviews with a quote from the involved book, but I just can't recall anything notable in James Gregor's Going Dutch - his debut novel - that would fit the bill here. Per the 'about the author' it appears Gregor is a very educated man (a Canadian who holds a master's degree from Columbia U.), so I wish him well on his next endeavor because I think he really has some raw talent.

However, I was underwhelmed by Going Dutch. Although the book flap description calls the plot "a comedy of manners for the modern age" there is actually very little humor, and it is really more of a depressing or lukewarm LGBT romantic drama. Protagonist Richard is a lonely gay twenty-something literary grad student in New York City who is unlucky in love and in his school work. The dramatic crisis arrives when he more-or-less simultaneously becomes involved with two very different people: Anne, a financially stable fellow student and competitor in a scholastic contest; and Blake (who I kept thinking of as 'Buh-lock-eee' because of the hilarious Key & Peele sketch from their TV comedy series), a successful young attorney living in Manhattan. While Richard seesaws between being endearing and frustrating as a main character the supporting players (which also include a number of friends and acquaintances) all remain ciphers. The story lacked a certain compelling narrative drive.

[Theresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite book I've read so far this year! I'm slightly disappointed that "Going Dutch" has been getting mixed reviews before its official release date (August 20, 2019). With that being said, I can understand why some readers might not be jumping for joy, especially when it comes to the ending. Usually I don't like reading about love triangles but this one was a riot! I like books that perfectly balance humor and heart. The dialogue is snappy and crisp. The protagonist, Richard is unlikable, moody, confused, restless, and selfish but that didn't bother me. I like reading about deeply-flawed characters. I also liked Anne, she's a piece of work, but she's fascinating at the same time. My main gripe was with Blake. I liked Blake but I felt like his character could've been more fleshed-out. I didn't understand him emotionally when it came to his feelings regarding Richard. This is James Gregor's debut novel and it's hard to believe because his writing is tremendous (like a seasoned pro). I will definitely read more from him in the future. "Going Dutch" doesn't deserve all the hate it's getting. It's smart, funny, and surprisingly moving. Enjoy!

Thank you, Simon & Schuster for sending me a free ARC, in exchange for an honest review.

[Nicholas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one was a doozy, and I mean that in the best possible way. For at least the first third all I could do was identify with the gay, late-20s, PhD student who was living in NY, perpetually single, and pretty melancholy about it. That was me 15 years ago! I went to all those bars! I know that campus! I had those feelings! Gregor got into my head and took me back there in a way that made me vaguely uncomfortable.

And then approaching halfway I just became deeply anxious, because the protagonist proceeded to do a series of things that, thankfully, I did not do. And while that anxiety propelled me to finish the book in under 24 hours, and while I cannot describe that experience as necessarily "enjoyable," it did leave me admiring Gregor's skills as a writer. I am on board for whatever he does next. Also: it's very funny at times.

Finally, why do all the other reviews complain because Richard is not likable? Why does one need to like a novel's protagonists? We're not settling down to a lifelong relationship with these people!

[Haley · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was rather disappointing. Gay man (who may actually be bisexual, but that's a horribly bad word in this book, because how dare anyone actually be bisexual) squanders fellowship on expensive OKCupid dates and whines about it, then meets a well-off depressed woman and takes advantage of her but plays the victim when she thinks he cares more than he does. It's just wholly toxic. There's not a single healthy relationship in this entire book, and that's not really what i'm looking for in LGBTQIA lit.

[Dennis Holland · Rating 5 out of 5]

This “it’s complicated” love triangle made me fantastically anxious. It put me deep into the mind of a spoiled, gay millennial searching for connection in a modern world where real connection is becoming harder and harder to achieve. It also took me back to reflect, consider and challenge my own decisions and choices I made as a twenty something year old.
...
Once upon a time in 2001 I fell in love with a girl, too. The love affair may have been brief but it was memorable and important. Her name was Charity and, certainly, for me, she was exactly that.

[Bandit · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always a pleasure to be the first to review the book and have nice things to say. I almost passed by this book, the dating woes of New York millennials didn’t seem especially alluring. But something did…enough to pick it up. And I ended up liking it considerably more than I expected, so let’s call this one a pleasant surprise. And also a most auspicious debut. The writing is, in fact, absolutely terrific, absolutely the shining star here, more than enough to outshine its tedious cast of characters, which is no small mercy. The descriptive language, the psychological discernments, the way the subject of a novel decisively takes a much heavier, much more complex and interesting direction the flimsy premise might suggest…awesome. It leaves you thinking and thinking. Wherein the plot alone, the love triangle with one side straight, one side gay and one side confused, that just sounds like a trite romcom. But seriously, seriously, it isn’t, it just seems that way. The confused side of the triangle is our (whatever the opposite of intrepid is) protagonist. Is it inept? Well, he’s certainly challenged. In many ways…his graduate school work has stalled jeopardizing his only source of income, his romantic life is nonexistent, his unrequited love for his best friend is…well, unrequited, unspoken even, and generally quite sad. The dating apps are a failure. So what’s a gay boy to do in the brutal spirit sapping New York but to get himself a ladyfriend to adore him, feed him and help him write his papers. Thus develops a wildly unbalanced codependency that does seem like a relationship in many ways. Until he meets a guy who embodies all the things he always thought he always wanted. Now it’s a triangle, with both Blake and Anne inexplicably competing for a man whose main characteristic seems to be lukewarm amiability. Weird. Weird choice for a protagonist, weird for him to be the least likeable thing about the book, his ambivalence, his milquetoast personality…what’s the appeal there? The only compelling thing is the choice. And that’s actually really compelling indeed, because it brings up so many interesting questions about the nature of love, romance and relationships. Which organ to follow? Which considerations to prioritize? Does comfort override passion? Is being accepted for who you are just as you are more or less valuable than being pushed toward some sort of character elevation or a more conventionally accepted family structure? Is being taken care of outweigh other more frivolous less materialistic aspects of a relationship? The protagonist eventually does make something of a decision, but those things are just fascinating to ponder. Because it does elevate above the ugliness of the modern dating scene (especially the male gay version, which has a sort of single minded carnality that’s just offputtingly aggressive) and the ugliness of desperation at least as it pertains to trying to make it in the most overrated city of all. And (this may be neither here nor there) but how often can someone go out to eat? In one of the most expensive cities in the world no less. Is that why no one ever has any money? I don’t think I’ve ever read a book featuring quite this much dining out. To be honest, gay male characters have never done it for me in a book (I’m certainly no Anne), not just the carnality, but the overwhelming vapidity and superficiality of the culture…just no. This, in fact, might be the only such book I actually enjoyed. Because, as mentioned before, there’s so much more to this book. It’s the writing, it really is, the author shows such magnificent command of the language, some paragraphs are pure magic and some turns of phrase he uses…it just makes me want to remember them and throw them into conversations. It’s that good. And it poses smart questions, which is always appreciated. That pretty much makes up for the unlikeable characters, it seems. So yeah, this might very well be the cleverest book on modern dating disguised as a silly love triangle and I’m glad to have taken a chance on it, despite any initial misgivings. Recommended. Thanks Netgalley.

[Levi Huxton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Richard is lonely and who can blame him. Around him, other gay New Yorkers seem to effortlessly glide through an instagram-ready world of expensive restaurants, Fire Island beaches, gym-toned bodies and orgiastic sex.

He’s stuck in a rut, suffers from academic paralysis, hates his roommate, and app-enabled hook-ups are showing diminishing returns. It’s a brand of millennial angst so common as to render his low-grade depression invisible, even to himself. Richard has a lot going for him, just not self-awareness.

So when our protagonist meets not one but two individuals with the potential to rescue him from himself, we can’t help but root for him, at least at first. Blake is a lawyer who looks like he could be a good match for Richard, not least because he actually likes him. Anne is also a lonely academic, who agrees to write his papers in exchange for a companionship that eventually turns into something more intimate.

After years of solitude, it’s hard to resent Richard for pursuing both options simultaneously, stringing along two people who probably deserve better. It’s not easy being broke in Brooklyn. After years of going dutch, he’d finally found someone to pay the metaphorical cheque.

In the end, Richard’s self-delusion, narcissism and indecisiveness are no match for Blake and Anne’s goodwill. In a masterful crescendo of anxiety, the situation comes to a head and the reader has no choice but to turn on our sympathetic hero.

The harder it was to like Richard, the more I felt compelled to understand why. I quickly realised two things that convinced me to stick around.

Firstly, Richard is a product of his late-capitalism surface-obsessed environment, in a city where every relationship seems transactional. James Gregor’s novel is filled with sharp observational insights into a society that discourages any kind of healthy inner-life.

Secondly, Richard holds up a mirror to the reader, and I could see some of my own flaws reflected there (and I’m not talking about attractive flaws either). Unmoored, Richard moves through life without logic or planning. He’s unable to recognize that this is true of most people, whatever their curated social media profiles might advertise.

New York City has grown up, left its adolescent excesses behind as it gentrified into middle-of-the-road consumerist adulthood (a land of “solar-powered taco stands” and “metallurgically bitter coffee”). Richard is unable to do the same, late to grasp that coming out is only half the battle (especially in a world where being gay fails to raise an eyebrow), taking responsibility for oneself is much, much harder.

Going Dutch is a skillful portrait of a life in stasis, of a man in a permanent state of deferral. Many will be put off by the unlikable Richard. It’s a shame because Gregor James has created a complex and revealing character whose meandering journey holds the key to understanding a much wider malaise. That the ride is uncomfortable is precisely the point.

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Both exasperating and full of a dark humor. Richard is constantly whining and irritated at everyone and everything, no matter how small. He blames everyone but himself for the fact that he's in two serious relationships at the same time and has turned in college work that isn't his. I laughed out loud at multiple moments where he just pretends his life isn't burning down and resorts to bad attempts at denial and accusing his partners of being unreasonable. It's just so odd that this mediocre man is so vied for by two people, much less two extremely smart and successful people who have their lives together unlike Richard who is struggling financially, academically, with all the relationships in his life, and is just is an all around terrible person. Still, wickedly funny and hello! a bisexual character.

[Tess · Rating 4 out of 5]

GOING DUTCH is a super fun, super inside-baseball look at dating and academic life in NYC. I can’t deny that most of my enjoyment from the book was because I was delighted by all of the Columbia University references, restaurants and bars I know around the city, and my familiarity with the general vibe of the book.

The main character, Richard, is extremely un-endearing. You probably won’t like him, and you should know that right off the bat. In fact, most of the characters are annoying and unlovable except for Anne, the woman Richard (a gay man) finds himself in a love triangle with. She is certainly odd, but was my favorite part of the book. I’ve never encountered a character quite like her before, and their relationship is what anchors the plot.

The book is dark at times, but made me laugh out loud in truly unexpected ways. I also couldn’t wait to find out what happens in the end, and I was pleasantly surprised by the outcome. It is certainly a book for today’s world, and a must-read for anyone who has spent significant time in upper Manhattan.

[Tuti · Rating 5 out of 5]

intelligent, subtle, and fun to read love tringle story in nyc. graduate student richard has problems concentrating on his work in medieval italian literature, rooted in his doubts regarding the meaning of it all. he meets anne, a smart colleague in the department and befriends her. she helps him a lot with his work, and a relationship starts building between these two lonely people - even though richard is actually gay. he then meets blake, a lawyer, and starts another relationship with him, which soon becomes important as well.
richard is caught in the triangle he has created himself and will have to decide and disentangle himself somehow. just being vague and trying to keep everything and everyone and to not hurt anyone clearly is not working. i found this process very interesting, excellently written, insightful and fun to read, with new york as a very fitting setting - more then that, and actual character. recommended.

[Moony (Captain Mischief) MeowPoff · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hard HARD Pass.
This was just a pain to read. I've seen some reviews who loves it and some who don't. For me this book had an okay writing style so it was pretty easy to follow, and that was technically the only thing i liked about it.

What i didn't like about it? The Main character Richard goes around complainging and sulking because yes the dates dosen't go that well, he gets a writers block ect ect and that life isin't fair. But he complains all the time! And when friends tries to talk to him about what goes on in his life, he attacks - wordly so. Then get upset because they try to care and try to figure out why he's not in a good mood. I'm sorry, if one don't want to talk about it, fine. Don't. But don't attack ones who want to help you! Though, when Patrick hopes he's not bisexual i didn't like him either, because what dose that matter if he was? or is?

And it dosen't stop there, Enter Anne, friend, work.buddy and one-sided with being in love with him. He's gay, but still she's in love with him and dosen't seem to care about the tiny fact that he's gay. And she's needy, and oddly so - and when he dosen't respond she basically acts as a girlfriend a very needy one who demmands to know what happends ect. Richard dose this thing where he leads her on, knowing how she is - or maybe he don't see it? But sleeping with someone you don't love or have romantic feelings for ? He gave Anne hope were there was none..

And Blake, his lover-boyfriend ish. Tried to give him so many chances even though Richard didn't deserve so with all the move in thing, lying ect. Blake tried to make their future bright and Richard kind of... didn't? Sometimes very few times, it was light and happy... and then.... not. Richard didn't treat him good.

I honestly don't understand why Anne kind of "took him back." But that's me.

Rant over.

[Jypsy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, this story is...??? Going Dutch is deliberately infuriating on an epic level. Richard is the main character, and he's just a dolt. He's a grad student in NYC with a paper due so he can get paid, but he's got writer's block. Plus, his love life is in the toilet. He's gay and can't find a good man. Meanwhile, everyone else around him are happily dating, working, succeeding, etc. Money is no problem for them, yet Richard is broke. He's not as pitiful as he seems, though. The woe is me yarn he's spinning is starting to unravel. He's not moving forward in life because that's the choice he has made. Richard feeds off of pity and sympathy and whining. Not making a choice is what he's chosen. A woman enters his life and saves him, theoretically speaking. She has money and spends on him. She helps him with writers block by writing it herself. She desperately needs his attention. Then a man enters Richard's life via a dating app. He's successful and interested. Basically, Richard uses these two people in any way he can to get as much as possible from them. It's a love triangle kind of thing, and it's not clear if Richard is gay or bisexual. I despise this character. He's a self centered millennial with no morals. The writing is eloquent and lyrical. It's so nicely done. I just wish it were in a different story. Thanks to NetGalley for an arc in exchange for an honest review.

[Claire Em · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had moderate expectations for this book, but I actually found it insufferable. The main character, Richard, is behind on his doctorate deadlines and is facing a loss of funding. However, this book is written in third person but the vocabulary is so robust that it doesn’t make sense that this isn’t from Richard’s point of view. The vocabulary use and tone comes across as haughty, elitist, and pretentious because it’s written from Richard’s tone but in third person. The writing was so difficult to follow, that it was hardly worth finishing.

Also, I really disagree with how Richard, who defines himself as gay, is written as a character. His character came across as gay until he met the right woman, which is so many levels of inconsiderate and insensitive i won’t even get into it here. Straight characters aren’t written as straight until the meet the right person of their same gender. It would be a different matter if Richard was written as a character who is discovering himself or if he was bisexual, but I just can’t condone this representation of a gay man who “becomes straight” for the right woman.

Although I really, really wanted to like this book, I just couldn’t.

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[Mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though the writing was often too smart for its own good and many readers will likely find the tone and the main character himself altogether intolerable, I enjoyed this awkward look at Richard's overlapping love & professional lives and the many asides to how depressing and difficult dating in the NYC is.

Pile on writer's block and the exhausting city summer and Richard is soon floundering. He is probably relying too much on his school colleague Anne to help him complete papers which he's been stuck on due to an obscene case of writer's block and ennui- but his future is riding on regular submissions to his course advisor as he's on a scholarship that pays for his whole life. He has a pretentious group of friends and bad luck finding a boyfriend (who should be husband material, his friend Patrick is always reminding him).

This is a laser-focused introspective novel full of haltingly cringeworthy situational dialogue. It was hard to put down as I kept turning pages wondering if Richard's agency would take hold now- or now- or now- or if would keep running from his obligations to his squalid apartment, waiting for everything he's worked for to crumble around him.

[Julie Fogarty Oldbury · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is by far the most beautifully crafted, well-written novel I have read in a long time. Five (5) Stars on the writing. I thought this book would have been more of a rom-com story, but I was pleased that it was a more dramatic reflection on the internal contentment, desires, insecurities, and resentments one can have in their relationships with others (and themselves). The characters were raw, seemingly not designed to be any more than their egos, and for me, seemingly there as mere supporting roles, carrying out a plot that lives on in the heads of those struggling through contented, resented, and unrequited love (sometimes simultaneously). Although sometimes slow-paced in its story, the writing is nothing less than exceptional. I didn’t want to skim over a word for fear of missing out on the writer’s elegance and eloquence.

Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my review.

[Kris (My Novelesque Life)]

DNF @20%
2019; Simon & Schuster Canada

I was looking forward to this book, but I went in thinking it was going to be more of a rom-com. I can't put my finger on it but I just found it felt superficial.

***I received a complimentary copy of this ebook from the publisher through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.***

[Addy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I hated everyone in this book, which I think is intentional.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Contrived suckery

[Szymon · Rating 3 out of 5]

He seemed to be moving and then he was still; he was floating and he was falling; he was trapped and he was free.

When Richard encounters a problem with his thesis and is set to lose his scholarship he befriends smart yet off-putting Anne. The two of them develop a co-dependent relationship that thrusts Richard out of his gay bubble into bi territory, as he continuously denies any feelings he might harbour for Anne. Instead, he replaces them with an old crush on his best friend Patrick, and puts his energy into double-dating Anne, and a Grindr-date-turned-more Blake. To no one's surprise, things get messy.

All I'm gonna say is, insufferable bi men exist and we matter. This book was grating in its pacing, and the dialogue was stilted in so many places, reading more like a cheap emulation of novels that make smart (Read: pretentious) dialogue their strong suit (a la good old Normal People). What was the most enjoyable part of this whole affair was that each and every character in this novel is so AWFUL. I was not rooting for Richard at all, and Anne's behaviour towards him (especially in connection to his friends) was downright toxic.
STILL there aren't many books about gay men finding out they are bisexual in a later stage of their life. Too bad this concept was not explored by someone with more to say. Pass? Or don't, but you will find yourself skimming a LOT of passages.

[shannon✨ · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received a free copy through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

There were several times when I tried to pick up this book, but I couldn’t get past the first chapter. This time I managed to actually finish it but the book really wasn’t for me. I thought it was boring and the characters were all rather unlikeable. In my opinion the plot lacked any progress, the same kind of things kept happening and Richard also really lacked some necessary character growth.

[Jeanine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn’t know whether to give this 3 or 4 - it was very well written, it’s just the main character was so shallow and annoying, but he was meant to be! So I’d call it a very successful portrayal of a very annoying (and yes, realistic- I’ve met someone like this) person. So I guess I appreciated this book more than enjoyed it. The prose was great.

[Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely not for everyone (if you couldn’t tell by the pooled ratings and reviews). Personally, I love stories with protagonists who are, objectively, horrible people who make terrible decisions. And as others have pointed out, there is a very specific queer edge to the narrative that I think straight folk are missing on.

[Aaron · Rating 2 out of 5]

Richard is struggling at a point in his life in which he is not happy with any aspect of it. He is in his mid-20s. He graduated from college, but couldn't find a job so he headed home only to make his way into grad school because of a lack of interests in any job. He is sudying literature, but is struggling with writer's block, which is making it difficult for him to maintain his graduate funding.

He is also struggling on the dating seen. He is an average guy (though a little on the femme side, which is frustratingly closedminded when viewed as a negative), and he doesn't think any of the other guys will be interested in him as a result. The fact that he seems to be failing at everything he does probably doesn't help. He has now turned to the modern dating (*cough* *cough* hookup) apps to try and find love. He rarelly approaches anyone because of his self-doubt. It probably doesn't help that Richard is obsessed with and crushing on his friend Patrick. Ironically, Patrick is a prig and snob.

Things start to change as he ends up having to separate meal meetings. The first is with Anne, a classmate he has been meting to connect with in order to do some joint papers. The two quickly become friends, and Richard finds himself drawn deeper into her life, which is filled with the comforts of wealth and all the negative characteristics people think of when they use the terms"coastal elites" or "academes."

Then, there is Blake. He is someone that Richard does take the risk of meeting after finding him on an app. Blake is a lawyer, and he and Richard really start to connect. As they get closer, it creates a challenge as Richard needs to learn to balance his relationship with Blake with his relationship with Anne. It doesn't prove to be as easy as he would have hoped.

This was a really rough read for me. Richard is a whiny little jerk who could fix so much if he would just focus on doing just that rather than wallowing on how bad things are ... they really aren't that bad, either. The book was sold as being humorous, but it really wasn't funny ... at least to me, anyway. I spent most of the time reading this one feeling frustrated by all of the characters, who all seemed to be unsympathetic and deserving of any misery they felt they were facing. I would say skip this one.

[Adrienne · Rating 4 out of 5]

i think a lot of these reviews are unnecessarily harsh and i thought the elaborate prose matches the protagonist career as a pretentious academic. besides, isn’t the best part of a book watching the main character blow up their life?

[Whitney Gao · Rating 1 out of 5]

Self indulgent writing style and consistently unlikable characters ruined what could’ve been an interesting plot/commentary on modern “dating”

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

✦ 🆁🅴🆅🅸🅴🆆 ✦ • “Going Dutch” by James Gregor

The love triangle is a romantic staple that is so tried or true, you almost can’t go wrong. Typically, a woman (sometimes a man) is forced to choose between two suitors, which is a device to show the protagonists true feeling, or growth. Scarlet, Katniss, Bella, Bridget, Joey, Ilsa: all chose one or the other.

I’m thinking of my favorite love triangles: the musical “Cabaret”, the movie “Threesome”, the novel “A Home at the End of the World.” With queer love triangles, there are other forces at work in the story. Traditionally, a gay may or lesbian may secretly pine after a straight person, or may be in love with someone in secret but dating another to keep up appearances. The gay love triangle is often tragic, but either version could be played for comedy.

I am often drawn to stories about friendship love, instead of romantic love, and where the boundary isn’t always neatly drawn. I like stories about chosen families, not those that are purely romantic or genetic, but those that fine a way where the path is not always clears.

Richard is a single gay man living in New York City in graduate school for Medieval Italian Literature. Suffering from writer’s block and on the verge of being unable to meet the requirements to continue his studies, Richard turns to his classmate, Anne, for help. Not only is Anne hardworking and intelligent, but she also has a lot of money, enough to take Richard on extravagant dates. Their relationship is more than a friendship, but neither seem to have the same idea about it. When a lawyer named Blake starts to have a relationship with Richard himself, the situations becomes more complicated.

I wasn’t exactly sure what to make of this novel going in. It sounded like an updated take on the love triangle, maybe this was a scathing critique of modern dating, it could be a Pygmalion/She’s All That story with a brilliant transformation in the middle. It was none of these. If I were to hand this novel to you, I would warn you that you won’t like any of the characters. They’re all kind of selfish, petty, lost, and really just unlikeable, especially Richard. You’re not supposed to like them, and that’s the point, but the book holds back from going far enough where it’s fun to unlike them. Instead it’s kind of just boring at times, like the boring characters. However, the book is really well written and is compelling despite the boring characters. There are also some brilliantly crafted scenes that made me laugh out loud, a rarity for a book. I didn’t love this book but I didn’t hate it. I find the new ennui of the next generation. It reminded me a lot of Sally Rooney in many ways.

Richard is fundamentally a sad sack of a human, but I did feel for him a little while I wanted to slap him. I thought the relationships at the center of the book were interesting and not often explored in novels. If you like Normal People by Sally Rooney, I think you should give this a shot. “Going Dutch” will be released on 8/20 in the US. • ★★★★★ • Trade Paperback • Fiction - Literary, LGBT • Advanced copy provided by Simon & Schuster for an honest review. ◾︎

[Mike · Rating 1 out of 5]

Do you consider repeating the "I'm being texted by person B in the middle of something with person A and now person A and person B are mad at me" beat about seven or eight times in a row good plotting?

Do you consider examining a characteristically indistinct group of over-privileged codependents without any clear understanding of its psychological underpinnings good character development?

Do you have the infinite patience to tolerate gay men who feel oppressed by the same aspects of the gay community that liberated them? Then this book is for you.

Do you like when every character is essentially in the same brand of need-drenched emotional manipulation?

The prose aspires to literary fiction but fails, forced usages of the word "erstwhile" be damned. The allusions it makes to Dante and other Italian thinkers were undergrad fodder for my "Vergil & Dante" class, not "academic prize in scholarship" material. Tortured metaphors - about foxes passing glass windows and other ludicrously overstuffed comparisons - abound.

The back of this book calls it a "black comedy," which I think would require this to be more intentionally scathing and satirical to its characters in the vein of a Dawn Powell, say. Black comedy this is not. It's "black comedy" in the sense that Tommy Wiseau describes The Room as black comedy: it's so oblivious to its own glaring blind spots to the art of making a film (or in this case, novel) and it's so difficult to differentiate the writer from the protagonist that you just end up being embarrassed and humiliated at the product, and laughing to marvel at the trainwreck. Here, I mostly cringed instead of laughed, but there's no way around it: Going Dutch will really make you think not just that Richard is a horrible person, but that James Gregor must be. This book is so bereft of imagination that it must be the case that Richard is such a surrogate. A horrible person who only sees lesbians as threats to his political apathy and not full humans; a frustrated white cis gay who is probably aghast that people detest him for dating someone who loves Ayn Rand; a shameless cheapskate plagiarist who wrings apologies out of women that he doesn't deserve (that goes for both the apologies and the woman) and more.

Did I mention that everyone in this book is pretty much the same? Did I also mention that this guy thinks he's better than the apps that have saved the gay community from cities that routinely close down their bars?

Going Dutch is aggressively the work of some kind of gay traitor or just a queer utterly clueless about his history but wants to bitch about where we're at now. Afraid of queerness, hostile and condemning of sincere bisexuality, this book is just the 20-something MFA project of a white, tone-deaf, mediocre, bitchy queen. Dear James, Richard, either/or: take your self-hating neediness, and go to therapy; spare us this problematic trash you're peddling.