Dancing Queen: The Lusty Adventures of Lisa Crystal Carver

by Lisa Crystal Carver

Come join literary provocateur Lisa Carver on a hilarious, poignant search for truth and meaning at the end of the "American Century." With the same outrageous humor, piercing insight and racy flair that have made her 'zine Rollerderby such a phenomenal counterculture sensation, this idiosyncratic observer digs into her own life and shines the spotlight on Lawrence Welk and Anna Nicole Smith, white trash and beauty queens, teenage sexual yearnings and Tonya Harding, and other markers of our times. The result? A thoroughly provocative exploration of the pretensions, joys, and absurdities of modern American life - a wildly entertaining book that will leave you dizzy with delight and intoxicated by this striking new voice.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Pop Culture, Biography

138 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 1996

About the author

Lisa Crystal Carver (born 1968[1]), also known as Lisa Suckdog, is an American writer known for her writing in Rollerderby.[2] Through her interviews, she introduced the work of Vaginal Davis, Dame Darcy, Cindy Dall, Boyd Rice, Costes (her ex-husband with whom she performed Suckdog), Nick Zedd, GG Allin, Kate Landau, Queen Itchie & Liz Armstrong to many. A collection of notable articles from the zine was published as Rollerderby: The Book.

She started touring with the performance art band Psycodrama when she was 18 years old.[3] It was also at this time that she became a prostitute, which has been a major theme in her writings over the years.[4] She began touring with Costes a year later, and would also tour without him when he was in France. She toured the U.S. and Europe six times, the last time in 1998. The noise music soap operas included audience interaction including dancing and mock-rape of audience members.[3]

Carver is the also the author of Dancing Queen: a Lusty Look at the American Dream, in which she expounds upon various relics of pop culture past, including Lawrence Welk, roller rinks, and Olivia Newton-John. In 2005, Soft Skull Press released her newest book, Drugs Are Nice, detailing her early childhood and later romantic relationships with Costes, Boyd Rice and Smog's Bill Callahan. In addition to writing her own 'zines and books, Carver has also written for various magazines (including Peter Bagge's comic book Hate) and kept a fictionalized journal about her sex life for the website Nerve. Although Carver no longer writes her journal for the site, she is still a semi-regular contributor. The online Journal at Nerve was subsequently published in book form as The Lisa Diaries: Four Years in the Sex Life of Lisa Carver and Company. (via Wikipedia)

Reviews

[Janice Bonczek · Rating 4 out of 5]

before reading:
i really wanted to read "drugs are nice," also by lisa carver, but the library didn't have it. so i checked this one out instead, although i don't really know what it's about... starting it now so we'll see how it goes!

after reading
well, i still don't really know what this book was about...mostly about the weird sexual fantasies she had growing up from the age of 12 and up. but there were also some cute anecdotes and the whole book was funny. it was a quick, easy read. her writing style uses a lot of exclamation points! four stars. it was cute, fun, and light, and i really liked how she has no qualms about speaking her mind, down to her last deep, dark, strange thoughts and fantasies. she was funny without seeming like she was trying too hard, and i like the way she thinks.

[Pandora · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lisa 'Suckdog' Carver is the crazy antidote to Gen X apathy. She is excited by, and loves, everything, up to and including pap smears and Russian politicians. This very slight tome is a selection of writings from her zine 'Rollerderby' (nothing to do with the sport, more her crazy love of all things late 70's/80's). She may have made some very questionable life choices - shacking up and having a baby with a guy who has an - ahem - unhealthy obsession with the losing side of World War II - but that's a whole different book. ("Drugs Are Nice", to be specific.) She is one passionate, positive and lusty chick who sounds like she'd be great fun to watch horror movies and go shoplifting with.

[naomi :•) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok well i love lisa obviously. if you too have read every issue of rollerderby ever, a lot of this will be familiar to you. she expands on her olivia newton john ideas in a very interesting way in this nietzsche wishes…. “my masturbation fantasy throughout my entire teens was that Devo was my gynecologist” is an immortal dame darcy line

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Lisa Crystal Carver and her intense intellect combined with heart. She is not afraid of what YOU think about what SHE thinks, and her thoughts on pop culture are original and entertaining.

[J M-B · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked “Rollerderby”, I liked “Drugs Are Nice” and I like this.

[Mark Stalcup · Rating 5 out of 5]

The mighty Lisa of Rollerderby zine fame and the punk band Suckdog makes me smile in the same way the Vaselines made Kurt Cobain smile; she writes an unapologetic, distinctly feminine and overwhelmingly happy book of essays about growing up in the 1970s and, as she puts it, unabashedly "liking stuff," whether it is trashy and tacky or just underappreciated. She shops at K-Mart, reads trashy novels, idolizes Anna Nicole Smith and Olivia Newton John, and can find virtue in many things most trash, i.e. Fabio and the Bee Gees. Imagine a far sexier Tonya Harding with a brain and a wicked wit, or Amy Fisher without the gun and the porn career, but with a MFA and a Black Flag record collection. All I know is, she's one of my unabashed literary crushes, up there with Liz Phair as a musical crush.

[JB · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a longtime Lisa Carver fan but only just now got around to this book. If i'd read this in the '90s i'd almost certainly have liked it more, as it reads as though it were taken direct from disconnected Rollerderby reflections. However since she's been writing longform books (both her excellent memoir Drugs Are Nice and her subsequent excellent self-published works), I've come to appreciate her thorough devotion to form. This collection of little essays about this and that feels like it needed more risk, more focus.

[Sladjana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love love Lisa Carver!! She's so smart and articulate and I love the way her brain works. I try to read everything she writes. I adore how she uses a lot of exclamation points!! She has a great take on what it means to be American and on Anna Nicole Smith. I devoured this book which is part memoir part cultural critique.

[P.E. Tottenham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some great essays in here! I really love the bit about camping and the bear attack...
--P.E. Tottenham

[Julene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some essays were funny, some less so... and name-dropping Boyd Rice is a strong no-no. "The Manifest Destiny of Anna Nicole Smith" is, in my mind, the best in the book.

[Catherine]

Recommended on NPR

[Stay Fetters · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lisa Suckdog Carver, the white trash sex crazed she-devil.

"Theres nothing sexier than peeling off ladies panties to find.....more panties. Oo la la!"

Every chapter is a rant or rave from lady suckdog herself. Hilarious and she pulls no punches. If she hates you, you better fucking believe that everyone knows.

From her love of ladies, horrible romance novels, Lawrence Welk and Kmart. She goes for the jugular and doesnt stop.

Did I forget to mention she wants to make out with Russian leaders and masturbate against tables?

Thats why her name is Suckdog. It fits perfectly.

[Camille · Rating 5 out of 5]

well, there's the "Manifest Destiny of Anna Nicole Smith"...then the hilarious revelation of a pubescent fantasy of being attacked by a horny bear (you know, the old warning about camping on your period)...her suggestion that if you think you're a loser cause you're not even good at your vacuuming job because you get distracted by the lusty dreamy thoughts in your head...do what she did, say fuck it and write a book about it.

[Schizophelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give this book only to women that I love. It is so funny and intelligently written without a trace of ego. The influence that Lisa Carver has had on me and my life is unfathomable. Truly, one of the few people in the world who doesn't seem to have a cynical bone in her narrative body. In world where taking ourselves seriously has become a means to social survival, this woman is welcome breath of fresh air.

[Bethtub · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really not politically correct at moments, but given the context of the book as from 'white trash' roots, it's not surprising. So refreshing in the 'what's with all the acting like yer poop don't smell?' attitude.

[Jaina Bee · Rating 3 out of 5]

The editor/publisher screwed this one up. Why publish LCC unless you want it raw and juicy, with shards?

[Joy]

I'm tired of looking at this.

[shannon · Rating 2 out of 5]

decided to revisit this one, and lucked into a horrendous enough series subway experiences to complete it in a day. i didn't find it as funny OR as frustrating as i did when i was 20.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just the right amount of hilarious, witty, self-deprecating, and offensive.

[Zeta T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm looking forward to reading this insightful and frightening piece of hawt coffee again in the future. Loved the ode to Kmart.

[Jackie Murray-zavodnick]

Quick read-nostalgic and funny

[Shannon L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such fun essays on cultural observations in an erotic light. I was so excited to read that she had the same thing for panties as I do. It just made my crush on her that much bigger.

[Cherie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A- Crazy strange sexual