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The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way

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"Everything Will Be Fine"

"There's No Way This Will Work!"

"Why Does This Always Happen To Me"?

These are just a few examples of positive and negative self-talk that you have probably said to yourself hundreds of times.

You do it when you are nervous, you do with when you are happy, you do it when you are frustrated. And it affects your decision-making process.

Self talk has a huge impact on your life, even if you do not see it right away. It can cripple your confidence or give you that extra oomph to reach your goals.

It can make or break you.

But did you know that you can take control over your self talk and harness its immense influence over your life?

Discover The Science Of Self Talk - The Ground-Breaking Self Help Book By Mindfulness Expert, Ian Tuhovsky!

Now you can learn more about self-talk and understand how it works in the background, affecting your every move, influencing your every decision, and keeping you from reaching your goals.

By the end of this eye-opening positive psychology book, you will be able

✅ Learn How To Listen To Your Inner Voice & Understand Its Meaning

✅ Know The Difference Between Constructive & Dysfunctional Self-Talk

✅ Identify Negative Self Talk & Prevent It From Destroying Your Plans

✅ Discover How Positive Self Talk Can Give You A Confidence Boost

✅ Get To Know Yourself Better, Develop Emotional Intelligence, & Love Yourself

✔️A SPECIAL GIFT FOR Link to download my 120-page e-book “Mindfulness Based Stress and Anxiety Management Tools” for FREE!

"Are You Talking To Me?"

Talking to yourself and learning how to listen will get you one step closer to understanding how to rewire your brain, hack your self-talk, and use it to thrust yourself towards your goals.

Just like watching a movie with "director's commentary", self-talk is always there to comment on your actions, thoughts, emotions, and decisions.

That's why it's extremely important to regain control over your self-talk and even learn how to turn down its volume.

What Are You Waiting For?

Click "Buy Now" & Learn How To Improve Your Life!

96 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 11, 2018

647 people are currently reading
2047 people want to read

About the author

Ian Tuhovsky

72 books75 followers

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5 stars
325 (40%)
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284 (35%)
3 stars
147 (18%)
2 stars
29 (3%)
1 star
18 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
Profile Image for Bookish Devil.
508 reviews71 followers
July 6, 2020
Not a proper review*:

*This is for my own reference. But you're welcome to skim through it.

1. He lays so much emphasis on the importance of self-talk. Asks us to indulge in Constructive self-talk and avoid Destructive self-talk.

2. Encourages us to have a proper mindset devoid of pessimistic thoughts.

3. Positive self-talk shouldn't go to the extent of self-deception where we tend to lie and fool ourselves about our ability/situation.

4. Five big personality traits: OCEAN - Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and neuroticism. Personality tests allow us to know more about ourselves and it makes us easier for us to identify the areas where we need to work on.

5. Fav Quote: "Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to someone you love"

My take:

No one can bail us out of our problem. We have to do whatever it takes to bring us out of our misery. By introspecting our actions and decisions, we get a clear idea of 'how' and 'where' it went wrong. We often rely on external help/assistance to solve our problems but little do we realize that we already have the toolkit within ourselves.

We are our own coach. Little patience and a positive mindset go a long way in life.
Profile Image for Anil Swarup.
Author 3 books721 followers
July 9, 2019
It all boils down to what you can do to yourself as you have no control over others. This book is all about how one can increase ones emotional intelligence quotient and the author suggests some practical exercises.
Profile Image for Srihari Iyer.
42 reviews
February 1, 2023
In ashtanga yoga of Hinduism, one yoga is called "pratayahara"which means sit and observe your mind. Observation of the mind reveals how the mind is thinking,observing, reacting etc etc...This has to be practised until the mind goes silence.

This book more or less preaches the same. In addition to that. This book helps us to classify the kind of negative self talk also guide us to take personality test and connect it with our self talk.

Worth reading.
Profile Image for Amy.
32 reviews1 follower
April 5, 2021
I found this book to be short and very helpful tool in redirecting my perspective to healthier mental observations. Putting into practice these simple exercises is helping me distance myself from emotions I’d needed to lighten up with, and in overcoming some self talk habits I hadn’t noticed I’d picked up quite so habitually.

Thanks Ian for the advice and exercises. Definitely tools for self betterment worth having.
Profile Image for Yomna Swelam.
9 reviews
February 1, 2023
As someone who usually suffers from having a negative inner monologue this book was extremely helpful in combating these negative voices coupled with the exercises mentioned which were extremely beneficial ..HIGHLY RECOMMENED ..however I felt like such a vital topic needed alot more explanation and more data to support the presented theories.
هو guide حلو و قصير من الآخر مش كتاب كتاب يعني
Profile Image for Faris Fawaaz.
16 reviews1 follower
December 18, 2021
Tells you about being mindful of how you talk to yourself. Quick read.
Profile Image for Pungidasa Pungidasa.
Author 4 books16 followers
June 30, 2020
Loved reading this one

The thoughts are clear and presented such that any body can read and understand...

It is a perfect book to pick if you want to try to work on your self !
Profile Image for Stacey.
814 reviews23 followers
November 30, 2018
I enjoyed this book. I think as a society we need to improve our self talk and encourage others to improve their own self talk (especially teens and children). I read a lot of self help but this is a topic that is normally mentioned in passing, this book gave a lot of good insight and a lot of ideas that you can try.

I would recommend this book and I plan to revisit it in the future.

I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
Profile Image for MoYaL.
59 reviews2 followers
October 23, 2021
Ian basically tells us how to introspect the voice that always keep running in our mind. The outside world has so much negativity nowadays that to keep ourselves positive we have to feel good and constructive for ourselves. We are not meant to stay away form the monologue that keeps running in our mind which shapes and programs our subconscious mind which in turn shapes our outer world manifestations.
How loving yourself and listening to yourself can completely transform our life is really fascinating. We feel miserable about our life and time because we don't speak good of ourselves in our mind. Just by keeping positive attitude and approach towards the difficult things in life can help you mitigate most part of your problems.

A short and quick read with organized chapters and easy vocabulary.
Profile Image for Grady.
Author 51 books1,820 followers
October 14, 2018
‘Working on self-talk could become an exercise in navel gazing.’

Author Ian Tuhovsky earned his BA in Sociology and works as an HR consultant for many varied European companies. In addition to recuperating from his personal experiences of low esteem and shyness as a child and teenager he has grown and matured to the point of sharing his experiences as an author of ten books that give evidence of his interest in studying the human mind and the society and offering keys to recovery and to finding happiness and success. He also is a musician and composer.

Ian opens his book with the same approach that has made him popular among readers who are looking to expand their horizons in all aspects of improving their mental and spiritual health – with a dollop of light humor that makes him immediately accessible: Have you ever paid attention to your inner speech? You know, that running conversation that seems to go on interminably in your head. The one that’s in the background, thinking your thoughts, or rather “speaking” them to you in an internal, or is it infernal, commentary? Or did you just kind of ignore it, never really thinking much about it? But I bet you’re thinking about it, now that I’ve mentioned it. And even if you’re thinking, “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” stop and listen to your thoughts for a second. Chances are, you’re thinking in a voice with speech. That’s what I’m talking about. What causes us to talk to ourselves silently or out loud? How does self-talk affect our emotions and actions? "How can we become more aware of what we're saying to ourselves? These are interesting questions and we’ll get to them, but, by far, the most useful question we can ask is: Can we talk to ourselves differently? Can we flip the script and rewrite the way we communicate with ourselves? The answer is, yes, we can.’

Ian leads us through this path to self talk in the following divisions: What Is Self-Talk?, Constructive Self-Talk, Impact of Negative Self-Talk, Learned Helplessness, Positive Self-Talk, Challenge or Threat?, Self-Leadership, Self-Deception and False Positivity, Examples of Self-Talk, Pareto: The 80/20 Rule, Creating the Right Circumstances for Motivation, The Self, Loving Yourself, Emotional Intelligence, Present and Future Selves, Getting to Know Yourself, Swimming in the OCEAN, Who’s Talking?, What’s in a Pronoun?, and Turning down the volume. Each section involves exercises to reinforce the learning process discussed.

Solid information well written, this book will likely become one to repeatedly read to fully understand. Take your time – it may be a new concept for you but one that deserves close attention. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Pramila Kudva.
Author 4 books
Read
June 5, 2021
The science of self- talk by Ian Tuhovsky

The book is written in a lucid style meant for anybody with a rudimentary knowledge of personality. It delves into the concept of self talk – It could be negative or positive; based on the past or on the future. It hammers home the point that one should listen to the self-talk and identify the patterns. It is interesting to note how a positive input can turn a negative feedback loop into a positive one. It examines at length the constructive self-talk vs the destructive self-talk.
It goes on to explore the 5 important traits of personality at length. Openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism. Openness includes novelty, curiosity, imagination and the like. Conscientiousness has to do with orderliness and industriousness. Extraversion is an orientation to the outer world. These people have high energy and ae very active. Introverts are just the opposite. Agreeableness has to do with the sensitivity towards others feelings and a desire for harmony and co-operation. Neuroticism is a disposition ti unpleasant emotion like anxiety, anger, depression and insecurity. Those who score high on this trait are also susceptible for low tolerance for stress!
The book cruises through the concept of learned helplessness, the Pareto principle and finally focusses on self leadership. A book meant for the beginners. It provides a good insight into the concepts. Good read.
Profile Image for Suzan.
1,642 reviews17 followers
December 29, 2018
Wow this should be listened to by everyone. This book is all about changing the way you talk to yourself. Now you might say I never talk to myself but you would be wrong. You may not even be aware of it and most likely it is a negative voice. I live in a world with many family and friends being more negative than positive with me. So the last thing I need is to be negative with myself too. I found this book to be very easy to listen to and ably. Do you know a teenager? Get them this book someday they will thank you. Randy Streu is the narrator for this audiobook and his voice is perfect for this audiobook, easy to listen to and follow. I was gifted this book with the understanding that I would leave an honest review.
28 reviews
November 7, 2021
Absolutely loved this book. The importance of self-talk with simple effective examples (mostly with DIY exercises with continuity on self) of how to do it to achieve a positive impact on our self growth and outlook helps us in reframing our outlook and thought process to make positive self-talk a natural way of life in the long run. It also gives insights into the types of personalities and their significance in understanding ourselves (heightened self-awareness) and work with self accordingly.

The simple continuous exercises help in identifying behaviours, labelling the emotions and feelings that drive a behaviour or are a result of a behaviour and also provides simples tools and techniques to reframe our thoughts to tackle everyday problems and stress and our responses to those.
Profile Image for Kamakshi Pal.
18 reviews1 follower
February 9, 2022
It is a good book to understand how we treat ourselves, you might have read the same in other books. It is like that in our monkey mind we just go from one thought to another and then judging ourselves on the basis of our actions, in this whole process we sometimes over analyze the problem or a situation which is not even there at the first place. So, this book basically tells you to observe your own thoughts and how you talk to yourself(whether it is negative or positive) and how these things become a pattern.

Also, it tell you to how it is important to just shut our own voice in our head doesn't matter it is positive or negative and just be silent and there comes the meditation which helps.

My rating is 3/5.
Profile Image for Naveen Kumar.
189 reviews9 followers
June 19, 2022
#46 of 100 self help books
Good
THE NUMBER ONE ADVANTAGE OF POSITIVE SELF-TALK IS THAT YOU AVOID THE DOWNSIDES OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK.

The Science of Self Talk is about identifying our ‘critical inner voice’ and making certain necessary changes so that it doesn’t bring us down. Negative self-talk is harmful and leads to stress, depression, anxiety and helplessness. The topics covered in this book include:

Constructive self-talk and dysfunctional self-talk – and knowing the difference.
The impact of negative self-talk
Learned helplessness
Positive self-talk
– challenge or threat
The Pareto principle
Creating the right circumstances for motivation
Getting to know yourself
Loving yourself – emotional intelligence
Turning down the volume on your self-talk
Profile Image for Karthik.
13 reviews1 follower
April 13, 2020
Very attractive headline

This books helps to know we human beings are having a multiple characters inside us which most of the people don't know. The author explains in a very well manner about Positive & Negative Self talk, & how one can improvise their Positive was throughout their life by adopting Positive Self talk in their life. It's necessary for the creature like us, nowadays who are in this fast running world with least caring behaviours for our health & family. So, Thanks to the author for giving this book....
Profile Image for Karthik.
1 review1 follower
December 14, 2023
Do you take your negative self talk lightly?

I did not know why I was polarized in my feelings.

For no reason, I was happy and sad.

A loud self talk after feeling the whole world was on me, relieved me with gleaming face.

What had happened?

I turned off my negative self talk by talking out loud positive talk. I see it a miracle. I see also the huge harm made to my mind in turn to my body by this nasty negative self talk.

This book helped me more conscious of negative self talk cruelty and way to get rid of it.
983 reviews2 followers
November 19, 2018
I received this audiobook free for an honest review. This is a great book to get you out of a rut with negative thinking. Not just the negativity around you, but the negativity inside you. Self worth is important to a person's well being. This book helps you to identify and change your inner speach. Great to help you change not only the view of your inner self, but that which you show others.
1 review1 follower
June 9, 2021
Definitely a good read for those who keep on exploring the possible ways of self-development.

I love to read a lot about the power of our subconscious mind and try to implement the techniques ideas in my daily life. Self-talk is a very important segment which shapes and programs our subconscious mind which in turn shapes our reality/manifestations. This book is crisp, loaded with interesting facts, and helpful exercises. I would definitely recommend it.
Profile Image for Ashwini Sannake.
84 reviews5 followers
July 29, 2021
Quick and practical read on self-talk techniques

It's a quick, short and well-drafted guide on adapting a better approach on self-talk.
Every chapter has easy and practical exercises along with it to help you actually implement the content.
Overall another good self-development read!
1 review
October 18, 2021
Wonderful Book.

It is refreshing to read a book that cuts to the chase and stays focused on 'Transformative Takeaways' for the reader.

Many self help books have thin premise and the author will go all over the place to fill pages. This book totally stayed on course. The trust generated was so much, I even ended up taking that psychometric test.

Regards & Best Wishes.
Profile Image for Annae.
19 reviews1 follower
February 24, 2022
Just what I needed.

Really got a lot out of this book. Goes on my "will re-read this from time to time" list. My self talk screws me up often -- I have a lot I need to work on. He lays out an excellent plan for improvement. Wish I'd had a book like this years ago. Thank you.
Profile Image for Pulkit Velani.
23 reviews
January 21, 2023
Self talk dissection

This is a very short and powerful book with almost every chapter that has an exercise. The author did very well dissection of self talk happened inside most human beings. Reading and implementing techniques described and book will help everyone to improve/sustain their mental health.
Profile Image for Monique Ferrier.
19 reviews1 follower
November 16, 2019
Simple guidelines

Reads quickly. The Science of Self-Talk seems quite evident once we finish reading the book. It’s not genius but practicality the author shares with us. We have to stay detached from our own thoughts, whether they are good or bad.
Profile Image for Mike Jackson.
3 reviews
January 12, 2020
Most practical guide ever read!

Wow! I highly recommend this and his other books. No nonsense here are the steps to take. The rest is up to you. Exactly what I was looking for. I’m so grateful for Ian’s work, thank you sir you have given me a tool are use every day of my life.
Profile Image for Vikrama Dhiman.
159 reviews104 followers
May 10, 2020
Worth a quick read

Good Book. Breezy read.
Got some interesting takeaways. 🙏
I liked the fact that the book does not over obsess over academia and gets into practical tips straight away - it is written in a good formatting too - makes it easy to read too.
4 reviews1 follower
July 15, 2020
Best exclusive book on talk with self
I loved all the 12 chapters of this book. Very helpful book in addressing how one should manage self talk, which we utter daily subconsciously. Small book, but yet very sound one. Thanks Author Ian Tuhovsky
1 review
August 21, 2020
Really loved the book

The things I always thought but never myself put them on the table maybe because I wasn't ready to accept them or face them so always refrained but reading the book am glad how you have made them easier for me and built my self confidence.
Thanks
2 reviews
March 30, 2021
Love this writing style mixed with interesting facts and a simplistic direct style

Great book mixes thoughts about the no self ideology with how to actually train your mind about situations. Already putting some techniques into practice.
2 reviews
July 2, 2021
Very good book

This is really a very good book. With the help of this book I understood the importance of self talk and it really helps me to improve my life.
Thank you so much for this book 😊❤
Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews

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