We Need Each Other: Responding to God's Call to Live Together

by Jean Vanier

In April 2008, Jean Vanier led a simple retreat in Nyahururu, Kenya, a place recently shattered by violence between people, and bloodshed. People there were shaken. With frequent reference to the Gospel of John, this book comprises the talks that Vanier gave:

What Are You Looking For?
The Cry of the Poor
The Feast Is Ready
To Live in Unity
Be Open
Encountering the Other
The Washing of the Feet


“We all want to be noticed and loved by those who are famous, beautiful, and admired. To be loved by them gives us a good feeling. But to be loved by the poor, by those with disabilities, by those who have no place with the famous, the beautiful, and the admired, is the real place where unconditional love and healing will find us. How do we come to that practically in our lives? In this book, Jean Vanier gives us both a vision and a map. This is vintage Vanier.”
—Ronald Rolheiser, author of The Holy Longing and Bruised and Wounded

"His powerful message and practice of love has the potential to change the world."
—Jennifer Simpson, granddaughter of Sir John Templeton, announcing award of the 2015 Templeton Prize to Vanier

"Jean Vanier brings you in touch with a place inside yourself that few people have reached."
—Henri J. M. Nouwen

"He opens our eyes and touches our hearts in speaking to us about the Savior."
—Rev. Rawley Myers, author, Daily Reflections with Jesus

"The witness and teachings of Jean Vanier have never been so necessary."
—Michael W. Higgins, author, Jean Vanier: Logician of the Heart

Genres: Spirituality

84 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 8, 2018

About the author

Jean Vanier was educated in England and Canada, entered the Royal Naval College, Dartmouth, England in 1942. He went to sea in 1945 in the Royal Navy and in 1947 transferred to the Royal Canadian Navy. He resigned from the Royal Canadian Navy in 1950 while serving H.M.C.S. Magnificent. He then went to France to work in a students' community outside of Paris. He studied philosophy and theology and obtained a Doctorate from the Catholic Institute in Paris.

At various times in his life, Vanier has been a(n)
author-
traveler-
founder-
humanitarian-
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Reviews

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Catholic Church doesn't start the canonization process until after a person dies, but if there were applications for living saints, Jean Vanier would be top of the list. He is the founder of L'Arche, a network of intentional communities providing hospitality and care for those with developmental disabilities. He resides in the original L'Arche community in Trosly-Breuil, France, where he has lived with people with disabilities for the past fifty-three years, regarded them as his teacher. The author of more than 30 books, Vanier's gift to the church (and to me) is in imparting a vision of ministry that is inclusive of those margins, without being paternalistic. L'Arche is not a charity in the sense that they 'do for the disabled' but a community of welcome where those with disabilities, and those who are able, find themselves bound together in friendship and community.

We Need Each Other: Responding to God's Call to Live Together is vintage Vanier. The text of this book is drawn from talks Vanier gave at a retreat he led in 2008 for the community of Saint Martin in Nyahururu, Kenya (a community especially devoted to responding to Kenya's HIV crisis). Vanier brings together scriptural reflections—especially on the life of Jesus— personal remembrances, and hard-won-wisdom on what it means to follow Jesus in being a friend to the poor and marginalized, facing our own fears and disabilities, and becoming more open toward the other.

The book is short but not what I'd call a quick read. It is only 138 pages and not overly complicated, but  I found myself reading and re-reading, reading slowly,  mulling over words and phrases, and underlining whole paragraphs. I will resist my urge to quote the whole book here, but here a few passages I found meaningful. The first passage discusses what it means to become friends with the poor, instead of just serving them from a place of privilege:

I can be generous:  I can volunteer to help someone living in an institution, or I can go into a slum area and listen to the people, or give them money. However, when I am generous, I hold the power. In my generosity, I give good things when I want. The initiative is mine. When I extend my generosity to you, I become superior. The equation changes, however when I become your friend. The generosity becomes a meeting point for the two of us, and the journey of friendship begins, When I become your friend, I become vulnerable with you. I listen to your story; I hear how much you have suffered: and you listen to my story. In some mysterious way, friendship is the beginning of a covenant whereby we are all tied to each other. You have to know that once you become a friend of someone with disabilities, much of your life begins to change (54-55).

On Spiritual growth:

If you read any books on the saints, you will discover that as one grows in spirituality, one feels less and less perfect. So, if you are feeling less and less perfect, it means you are getting closer to God! Those in religious life, when they entered the novitiate, had wings. After that, the wings were clipped and they began living in community, a life they found painful (65).

On the preferential option for the poor:

Those who are the most rejected must be respected. It is not a question of a preferential option for the poor. It is the fact that the Church is constitutioned by the presence of the poor. The poor are indispensable to the Church, because in their cry for recognition, in their cry for relationships, they are awakening the hearts of those who are seemingly rich in knowledge, wealth, or security (72).

On vocation and calling:

Sometimes I am a bit concerned when we talk of vocations, making reference only to the priesthood or religious life for sisters. I believe in the priesthood and I believe in religious life, but I also believe in the vocations of people with disabilities. I believe in the vocation of hearts filled with love of people like Maimanu and Dorothy and many others. We each have a vocation. We are all called by God to grow in love and be a sign of tenderness to the world. Our vulnerable Jesus is calling us to grow in love (118).

Sometimes people speak romanticly about 'the poor, the widowed, the orphaned, the disabled.' Vanier has dedicated a lifetime to sharing life with the disabled in L'Arche and knows how difficult the journey can be. But he also knows the gift of love when we are open enough to share our lives with others. When he describes those with disabilities whom he calls friends, he describes what they have revealed about his own poverty of spirit and disability and ways they have spurred him on to greater love and humility. I highly recommend this book. I give it five stars - ★★★★★

Notice of material connection: Paraclete Press provided me with a copy of this book. I was not asked to write a positive review.

[Peggy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Collection of lectures. Simple but not simplistic. Read for a Lent book group.

[Steve Watson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple, beautiful, true. We need each other. All of each other. We need these words.