From Nags to Numbnuts: A Skint Daddy's Guide to Horses, Horse People & Horse Sports

by Daniel Skinner

**The hilarious Amazon bestseller in the UK & Australia!**

Horses are wonderful, intelligent creatures that give a lifetime of love, companionship and the potential for incredible competitive sports.

On the other hand, if you're the fool that foots the bills, they're dreadful, needy creatures that can suck a bank account dry quicker than you can say "I think we need to buy a lorry".

Follow one man's journey into misery, mild alcohol dependence and, ultimately, probable financial ruin as he hilariously explains everything you need to know about the world of horses and horse sports.

This book is the first from Daniel Skinner who writes a blog under the name 'Skint Dressage Daddy', where he describes his life as a downtrodden husband and father in a house dominated by his daughter's obsession with horses and dressage.

Described as "The funniest thing on the internet" and "So funny you'll laugh till you cry", the blog regularly attracts over 250,000 readers and posts have been featured in Horse & Hound and others.

The book contains much swearing!



"Will make you laugh out loud" - Horse & Hound

"A delight... a must for all horse addicts, confused parents, and other halves" - Haynet



Reader

"Fabulous, wonderful, exceedingly well written"

"It's priceless, I've not stopped crying with laughter"

"I just couldn't put it down!!!""So many moments of hysterical giggles and tears"

"Absolutely loved the book!! Couldn't put it down"

"Received mine, my other half pinched it and loves it"

"It's f****** hilarious"

"LOVING IT!"

"Eager to read more but also not wanting it to end!"

"Bloody brilliant!"

Genres: Horses

194 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 15, 2018

About the author

Dan's debut novel, GET WAFFLE JONES, a darkly comic crime caper, is out this summer!

His previous two books, FROM NAGS TO NUMBNUTS, and STABLE CONDITION, were non-fiction, hilariously chronicling the financial misery involved in having a daughter obsessed by horses and dressage. Both topped several Amazon categories in both the UK and Australia for many weeks.

Originally from Sussex, he lived in London for 20 years before moving to Suffolk with his partner, two children, two dogs, two cats and several chickens.

Reviews

[Claire Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

Daniel Skinner found himself on a slippery slope when his daughter discovered horses. As the addiction got a stronger grip he found his time and disposable income were eaten away by all things naguine! This is his hilarious guide to all the equine knowledge a non-horsey Dad has gathered in the last few years. Great stocking filler for un-horsey parents or the equine addict!

[Puppy_reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 'From Nags to Numbnuts' Skinner offers a rather hilarious explanation of the world of horses. He is a father (with no horse experience) who has a horse-obsessed daughter and a wife who is rather eager to facilitate with his daughters (rather-expensive) hobby. This book serves partially as a guide to all things horses, but also predominately as a warning to anyone who is thinking of entering the equestrian world. As an equestrian (from a non-horsey family) this book was incredibly funny (and rather relatable in places). I don't think that I stopped smiling the whole time I read the book, and had I not had plans already, I could have easily read this in one sitting. From the affectionate names of Cost Centre 1 and Cost Centre 2 for his wife and daughter respectively, to a chapter on the names of colours of horses (which to be fair can be very confusing - I'd be more than happy to have white, black and brown as the colours) and the cleverly crafted poems at each chapter (often with impressive plays on words), this book really is a must read. My only slight criticism of the book is it was rather short (194 pages), however Skinner does point to his Facebook page if you would like more of his observant rants on the equestrian world. He also has another book that I will, in due course, read.
I would highly recommend gifting this book to any horse lover or any one who knows an equestrian if you want to provide them with a high level of entertainment.
5/5

[Lauren White · Rating 5 out of 5]

The culmination of plenty of hilarious blogging, this is so amusing to anyone with the vaguest of contact with the horse world. Horse people love to ridicule themselves, it really is the most ridiculous thing to want to do with your life. This ticks all the boxes for that and I loved it!

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best christmas present in a long time! Absolutely hilarious! What's not to enjoy?! My love of books and ponies combined! Fantastically written, chatty, funny and such an easy read. Will recommend this to all my horsey friends and put it in a few stockings myself next year (new copies that is, not mine!).

Already subscribed to the Facebook page for more laughs ❤️

[kay cartwright · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just brilliant!

Absolutely spot on! As a horse person myself i recognise all the things that I have done in my horse obsessed life! This is told with great hilarity and is hilarious. Read and enjoy the ride!!

[Jenny Snowdon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very very funny

A complete guide to horses and horse ownership from the perspective of a non horsey father.
Written in such a way as to have you laughing like a drain, while getting funny looks from the other half!

[Paul Willis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too short

A quite funny look at equine life but far too short for the money. Finished in no time at all.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny

Very entertaining, sort of factual but hilarious way of viewing your life with horses. Well written and would definitely recommend.

[Gumble's Yard - Golden Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

My attention was drawn to this book (well strictly to the Skint Dressage Daddy Facebook page which inspired it) by the owner of the fantastic livery yard at which my middle daughter has kept her dressage pony since we acquired her (the pony that is) around 10 months ago – which in itself means the book is partly too late for me, as some of the early chapters are jokingly designed to warn the prospective dressage daddy of even allowing the slippery slope to horse ownership and addiction to occur.

For example, if the following happens at the dinner table then I wouldn't be too alarmed.
Parent: How was your riding lesson today, darling?
Child: It was really good. We learnt how to make the horse walk slightly diagonally for some reason.
Can we go swimming on Saturday?
No problem. A perfectly healthy, and satisfyingly brief, nag-related conversation between parent and child.

However, read the following example carefully:
Parent: Would you pass the salt please, darling?
Child: Did you know that salt supplies two of the electrolytes that horses require. In addition to the
sodium and chloride found in common salt, they also need potassium, calcium and magnesium, but
in smaller amounts.
KLAXON ALARM! KLAXON ALARM!

When this type of conversation occurs frequently, you have to start being concerned. And when nags, numbnuts, horse sticks, salt licks and horse hotels make up more than 50% of all conversations, you have to be properly scared and consider professional help. I think we're at 973% currently in our household and all hope is lost. Our daughter is a full-on gee-gee junkie. Don't become like us

.

I found this an excellent book – I read it on a family holiday and would frequently break off to read sections to my daughters and wife – to knowing laughter.

Understanding matchy matchy is as critical to success in nag sports as learning whether to turn left or right at K or being able to coax a horse to jump over a comedy model windmill.

I particularly enjoyed the section on “spooking”, something which never fails to astonish me when even World Championship level horses can be completely unsettled by say a slightly moved TV camera (something I observed at Burghley) – although perhaps should not have read it just before my first (and last) horse ride as it did not really settle my nerves.

Of course, despite having minimal control over the nag and it not even coming with so much as a steering wheel, at least we can all relax because horses are well known for being so reliably placid and completely calm given any kind of shock or unusual situation. Are they .. This is the thing that really makes me never want to ride the things - the fact that they go absolutely mental for no good reason. I think they tend to be good reasons to the horse, which is all very well, but that's just not enough for me. This is known in the trade as spooking, and doesn't require anything as scary as an actual spook to kick things off. Something like an ant walking faster than usual, a distant cloud shaped slightly like a kettle or the memory of some bad weather a few years ago appear to be enough to cause a good spooking.

One of my favourite reads of the year.