Long review ahead. Read at your own discretion. I do sincerely hope Jojo Moyes reads this.
I understand Me Before You has a fond place in many people's heart. I'm sure most have heard, or seen its movie make.
In the entirety of the series, I can truthfully say this is the most unfulfilling, saddening book, because it has done an injustice to its protagonist. Louisa Clark deserves better. Across these books, it's impossible not to notice that she has the kindest, most selfless heart, yet she continues to fall in love with selfish men. Men, who ultimately are charming but in likeness are also bullies. Her selflessness is her downfall because she leaves behind her pride, and her own sense of self's value to be stomped on.
'Me Before You' revolves around Louisa becoming the "companion" of Will Traynor, a man who is paralysed and permanently stuck in a cynical state. What initially begins as a hateful employer-employee relationship slowly transforms into friendship and later love, until we come to a penultimate ending where Will commits euthanasia. It was the rawest book I have ever read. Saying that, I was not blind to Will's flaws and the way he incessantly reminded Louisa that she was this small town girl who simply had to "live" whereby his definition of living included an exploration of the world. Yes, Louisa blossomed under new experiences, but there was an almost manipulative quality to the way he would push her sometimes as if, should she not strive for all these new things with this "potential" he has noticed in her, then she simply accepts to being a no body. There's an emphasis on how Louisa would never be an object of lust - I say the word object loosely, but rather one of love. Someone who you don't take notice of instantaneously but mould in order to love. He fit her into a brighter, new shiny model of Louisa Clark. It seemed to me no one accepts Lou as she is.
'Me After You' begins eighteen months after Will's suicide. Louisa is stuck in a spiral of grief, unable to grasp her footing on how she will fulfil the promise she made to Will: the promise to live and experience new things. The shift in herself only begins after she unexpectedly meets the sixteen year old daughter Will never knew he had. And somewhere amongst the chaos, she begins to date a paramedic named Sam, quite possibly the least romantic and least passionate man to star as a leading hero in a book.
In 'Still Me', Louisa finally sets off in search for an adventure in New York with a new job. She's bright eyed and positive and fearless. I admire Lou's fearlessness. She's not home sick, yet there is an acute loss of the people in her life, and a homely atmosphere.
“You always have one foot in two places. You can never be truly happy because, from the moment you leave, you are two selves, and wherever you are one half of you is always calling to the other. This is our price, Louisa. This is the cost of who we are.”
The long distance relationship between herself and Sam has become a strain. No one puts in effort with Louisa and they only do once they have lost her and suddenly see her "value". It is quite possibly the most real, and disheartening thing to read about. She begged Sam in the first three months of her move that he write her emails and letters and update her on all the small bits of his life so they are still there for one another. But he's very dismissive of her wishes, and puts little to no emotional effort in their relationship. Instead when he comes down to visit her, he pushes blame that she has left him, and changed in this new place. It seemed he was determined to sour any of the time they did spend together. He doesn't appreciate any of the small things she does to keep him in her life, and it was this very ignorance that made me resent him because it is the recipe to a relationship ending. Instead, Lou learns he has a new female partner at work, and as information filters through alongside what can only be called a woman's intuition, Lou knows this lady named Kate clearly is into Sam, yet when Louisa announces her feelings, Sam blows up at her. Instead he gets jealous over a man named Josh who was helpful when she was stuck in a tricky situation. A man who resembles Will in looks only. Lou who cuts Josh off out of deference to Sam once she realises that he bothers him. Yet he does not pay her the same curtesy. Instead he goes out with Katie to bars, they take close body to body pictures, they have drinks, he goes over to her flat fixing her wardrobe. Spending working hours in the company of a woman who is interested is almost understandable, yet spending non-working hours in the company of a woman who you know bothers your girlfriend clearly shows you do not respect her wishes. Those are not the actions of a boyfriend but of a man looking for the opportunity to cheat. When Louisa returns earlier than expected for Christmas and plans to surprise Sam, she witnesses this:
“She walked across the carriage saying something unclear, her voice muffled by the glass, her hair clipped up and tumbling in soft curls around her face. She was wearing a man’s T-shirt – his? – and holding a wine bottle, and I saw him shake his head. And then, as he bent over the stove, she walked up behind him and placed her hands on his neck, leaning towards him and rubbing the muscles around it with small circular motions of her thumbs, a movement that seemed born of familiarity. Her thumbnails were painted deep pink. As I stood there, my breath stalled in my chest, he leant his head back, his eyes closed, as if surrendering himself to her fierce little hands.
And then he turned to face her, smiling, his head tilted to one side, and she stepped back, laughing, and raised a glass to him.”
This is one of the points when I respected Lou, because she breaks it off in one sweep.
“I’m sorry,’ he said finally. ‘About the other night. I never wanted to … Well, it was badly judged.’
I shook my head. I couldn’t speak any more.
‘I didn’t sleep with her. If you won’t hear anything else, I do need you to hear that.’
‘You said –’
He looked up.
‘You said … nobody would ever hurt me again. You said that. When you came to New York.’ My voice emerged from somewhere in my chest. ‘I never thought for a moment you would be the one to do it.”
And Sam just lets her go just as he tried to keep her, without passion. No one really listens to Louisa in her life: her boyfriend, her family, hell maybe even Will when he was alive. No one appreciates her for who she is, not really. Lou later dates Josh, who again tries to change her. She accommodates him, changing her style trying to fit into the model of a corporate girlfriend. To me, Louisa loses her sense of individuality when she is coupled off with a man, doing whatever she can to sate and please him, yet this behaviour does not extend to herself from her partner. And only when Sam learns that she is dating Josh does he begin to write letters wanting her back. After months. And do you know what that showed me as a reader? That he was more concerned about a prospective man, and Louisa's attention and life moving further away than he was preoccupied with her and who she is. I suppose he did end up with Katie, and it didn't work out, but the situation wasn't explained there at all, other than a few short sentences in a letter:
“I’m not with Katie. I wasn’t when I last saw you. I don’t want to say too much but it became clear pretty quickly that we are very different people, and that I had made a huge mistake. If I’m honest, I think I knew it from the start.”
It wasn't a mistake, it was sacrilege, and if Lou had any pride she wouldn't have given him a second chance. Only at the end does Louisa take control of her life and go after a career that truly makes her happy. The return of Sam and their reunion was the possibly worst ending for me. It was a grave injustice to the spark that is Louisa Clark. She should have left him, and his fucking fuckery self behind, looking towards the future. Not having to continuously rely or need a man, but being her own independent, loveable self. She never needed Sam, or Josh. She just needed the catalyst that was Will.