Freckled: A Memoir of Growing Up Wild in Hawaii

by T.W. Neal, Toby Neal

Für Fans vom Schloss aus Glas und Wie Bildung mir die Welt erschloss kommt Krimi- Autorin Toby Neals persönliche Geschichte vom Überleben einer wilden Kindheit im Paradies. Geboren im Jahr 1965 als Kind von Hippie-Eltern, die nichts anderes wollten als zu surfen, Drogen nehmen von sich von der Gesellschaft zu verstecken, wuchs die rothaarige Toby als eins von nur ein paar hundert weißen »Haoles« im wunderschönen zerklüfteten North Shore der hawaiianischen Insel Kauai auf. »Ich wünschte, ich könnte die Zeit anhalten, jeden Augenblick in Honig verwandeln und zusehen, wie er langsam runtertropft.« Erzählt aus der immersiven Sicht eines Kindes, das durch turbulente Zeiten geht, wird Sommersprossen Sie auf eine Reise nehmen, in der Toby mit bloßen Händen einen Kraken fängt, um ihrer Familie ein Abendessen zu ermöglichen und mit dem Verkauf von magischen Pilzen an einen Drogendealer Geld verdient. In Zelten lebend und ohne Strom oder Kommunikation mit der Außenwelt, flüchtet Toby sich in die Welt des Lesens, um den lokalen Rassismus und die fraglichen Erziehungsmethoden ihrer Eltern zu verarbeiten. Trotz der Härte und den Entbehrungen des Lebens auf Kauai, kehrt die Familie ständig auf die Insel zurück, deren Anziehungskraft noch stärker ist als jede Droge, während die sensible und robuste Toby sich an den Traum vom akademischen Erfolg und ein »normales« Leben klammert. »Eine rührende und fesselnde Chronik einer einzigartigen Kindheit, die sich mit den Widersprüchen der utopischen Hippie-Ideale in einer längst verlorenen unberührten hawaiianischen Landschaft befasst.« – Kirkus Rezensionen

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Book Club, Biography Memoir, Coming Of Age, Audiobook

406 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 30, 2018

Reviews

[Toby Neal · Rating 5 out of 5]

My personal Everest as a writer, this book is more than my story... it’s a glimpse into a place and time (Kauai in the 1970’s) that is gone forever.

[✨Bean's Books✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dysfunction through the eyes of a child...
This book recounts the author's memories of instability in growing up with emotionally immature parents in unstable environments on the islands of Hawaii.
Beautifully written in a matter of fact manner as though the reader is seeing it all as it is happening in real time. Although the facts are presented to the reader, the narrative is not dry, dull, or boring. There is a definitive story being told throughout.
I love that through all the setbacks she faces, the author never gives up. She keeps pursuing her dreams. I also love how the author was able to present everything to us without taking sides one way or the other. Both sides have flaws and the author is unbiased on this point. She presents us with a story in a way that lets us make our own decisions on the matter.
I have never been to Hawaii myself. The closest I've come are the beaches of California. Most people talk of it as a paradise but, for this author, it was not a dreamy paradise that's so many people describe. For this author Hawaii was full of trials and tribulations that she had to overcome and get past in order to live the life that she so desperately wanted. Just such an amazing story.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who likes reading memoirs.

[Nadine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished my ARC copy of Freckled by Toby W Neal and I'm writing this with tears streaming down my face. She's not only one of my favorite authors but now one of my heros. Growing up in Kauai i with hippy parents, living in shacks if lucky and outside in tents or their van with no running water let alone hot running water or toilet, well let me tell you I don't believe I could have survived. This is a tale of how this young girl takes care of her drug and alcoholic parents, acts as caretaker of her sisters, lives in the wilderness, is bullied relentlessly and tries to make up for not being the son her father wanted yet preservers to become all she undertakes (again, not to mention one of my favorite authors). If you liked The Glass Castle (even if you didn't) I really recommend reading Freckled. You won't be sorry.

[David Crow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Freckled is a beautifully told memoir about a girl and her sisters growing up with highly irresponsible hippie parents. Toby and her sisters had to raise themselves in a beautiful but often hostile place where food was scarce and the Hawaiian children were cruel to them to the point of horror. As a child who also grew up having to raise myself in a hostile environment, I turned to reading and physical activity and the mercy of adults who went out of their way to help me. I called them angels and think Toby would say the same. She eventually turned these hostiles into friends and excelled in school far beyond what most of us could have possibly achieved. She tells her story without malice or guile and found a way to love parents who were not parents at all. That Toby and her sisters all ended up not only all right, but in strong, loving adult families full of achievement is a testament to their strong character, intellect and self-reliance. This is a wonderful, uplifting story that could have turned out very differently. I cannot recommend this book enough.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is said that behind every good writer is a sad little childhood. Toby Neal’s memoir proves the point. She had the kind of childhood that either makes you strong her kills you. Her hippie parents chose to live in substandard conditions in the backwaters of the gorgeous Island of Kauai so they could surf, smoke dope and drink with abandon. That is fine, but to bring children into this quagmire is unconscionable in my opinion. Clearly Toby needs to try to understand and forgive them to be whole, but I don’t. To bring a third and fourth child into the world when you are essentially homeless is irresponsible and negligent. Still, I enjoyed this journey back in time because I was living on the North Shore when she was twelve and the notorious Taylor camp was alive and well. I too was seduced by the beauty of what was a paradise mostly hidden from the tourist traffic. I really enjoyed being there again and being in places that assuaged my tropical fantasies. I saw the troubles brewing between the locals and haole invaders and the limited opportunities on Kauai and returned to the mainland. Toby is one in a million, bright and strong enough to overcome her circumstances, but most children would have been crushed and severely psychologically damaged by the conditions she describes. Books and authors became her escape route from the abuses she suffered and she has become one of the most prolific writers I know. I have read many of her 30 fiction mystery stories set in the Islands and enjoyed them, but this is by far her best effort. I will give the writing 5-stars, but I felt much like I did after reading Jennette Walls best-selling memoir Glass Castle-disgusted with parents who have no business bringing children into the world.

[Marilyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful memoir. A little slow at first, but it does not take long to fall in love with Toby and her “Hippie” family from Kauai.

“As often happens on Kauai, the sun breaks over the ocean and through the clouds like a lighthouse blasting apart the fog, reflecting the sky off of the ocean in a glorious panorama that gives life to the conditions of the night before.”

[Brandy Barber · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished my ARC copy and wow. This book brought me into the story on the first line. Toby has a way with writing that makes you feel emotions. I could see the young girl living in a place and time not a lot of people could survive. The what I call "struggles of love" the family had to go through. How many years this very vibrant girl pulled herself up and gave the world everything she could. Parents sometimes don't know how to be parents. They suck at it. But somewhere along the way they help you resize things that help you become the person you are suppose to be. You can love someone with all your heart but you don't have to like them. Toby not only had to raise herself but also her younger sisters. You can see the bond grow different but strong between each one. To try and fit in is sometimes the loneliest thing in the world. I could relate to being different and not fitting in. Kids are sometimes the biggest bullies of them all. They don't have as many filters as a adult and so they don't know how far under the skin they get. There is a lot of funny stories to. Toby's horse had me laughing out loud. I never get tired of hearing stories about the past and how people lived. The history in this book about the islands are just as interesting as the story. When I seen Mike's name I knew it was time for some happy endings. I am in awe as to how this book turned out. How all the feelings came through. You most deferentially will need to grab a box of tissues right from the beginning.

Merged review:

I just finished my ARC copy and wow. This book brought me into the story on the first line. Toby has a way with writing that makes you feel emotions. I could see the young girl living in a place and time not a lot of people could survive. The what I call "struggles of love" the family had to go through. How many years this very vibrant girl pulled herself up and gave the world everything she could. Parents sometimes don't know how to be parents. They suck at it. But somewhere along the way they help you resize things that help you become the person you are suppose to be. You can love someone with all your heart but you don't have to like them. Toby not only had to raise herself but also her younger sisters. You can see the bond grow different but strong between each one. To try and fit in is sometimes the loneliest thing in the world. I could relate to being different and not fitting in. Kids are sometimes the biggest bullies of them all. They don't have as many filters as a adult and so they don't know how far under the skin they get. There is a lot of funny stories to. Toby's horse had me laughing out loud. I never get tired of hearing stories about the past and how people lived. The history in this book about the islands are just as interesting as the story. When I seen Mike's name I knew it was time for some happy endings. I am in awe as to how this book turned out. How all the feelings came through. You most deferentially will need to grab a box of tissues right from the beginning.

[Antanas Bernikas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not a fan of biographies in general but as I am a big fan of Toby Neal books - I was very excited to read her story. Also was fortunate to receive an ARC. Hawaii for me was and still is something out of a fantasy (I have never been there even though have lived in the U.S. for some time but would surely like to visit one day). Also hippie lifestyle is something that I have only seen in movies and documentaries. Story itself I did enjoy as both the documentary of those unique times and as quite a rollercoaster of human drama with many "downs" and thankfully some significant "ups" as the story draws to a conclusion. It is very emotional and I feel I understand Toby Neal style of writing and her characters much better now that I have read this book.

[Diane Yannick · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be very engaging except for a wee bit in the middle that dragged a bit for me. The author's description of Kauai in the 1970's was beautiful. This was when the natural terrain was untampered by tourism. Not so beautiful was the parenting done by Toby's parents. Addicted to the surf and drugs, they did not assure that their daughters' basic needs were met. If they had to eat boiled chicken feed, so be it. If they had to live in a ratty van or a leaky tent, so be it. Every time they had a family "confab" it was usually time for yet another move. Dad hated to work and contaminated their lives with his gloomy moods and physical abuse. Toby's family in CA tried to help throughout the years but they were hard to help. Mom kept going back to a dad who was a hardcore narcissist and an island that seemed to have a magnetic pull on their souls. Toby had to care for her sisters when she still needed care herself. The bullying she endured as a red-headed haole was unfathomable to most of us. Yet, through it all, she held books and learning close to her heart. This allowed her to forge a new path for her adult life. The end of this book is simply lovely.

One thing that Toby learned when she was babysitting and did the dishes and vacuumed: "Find a way to add value to whatever you do and people will keep coming back."

A favorite sentence: "I stomp off into the rose garden to nurse my snit." Oh man, haven't we all nursed a snit or two in our day?

[BJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was given an advance copy of this book by the author. Here are just a few of my feelings and thoughts:
This story really got to me on a personal level. My family, with 3 daughters right at Toby’s age, moved to Hawaii in 1968, so our life paralleled hers in many ways. We knew how it felt to be in the minority, something I’ve been truly grateful for as we’ve lived the rest of our lives. Although we didn’t go through the bullying and hardships as Ms. Neal did, her story brought back memories of what it means to be a part of the Hawai’ian culture – on many levels. I know some parts of this story were hard for Toby to write about, but I can only think it was a sort of cleansing exercise for her. She writes about some things that I would hesitate to even put in a personal journal, but has tenderly and vividly put out there for us, as readers, can certainly reflect on and learn from the lessons that life has given us. Her life story is full of strength, conviction in believing oneself, making dreams come true. I’m in awe at her determination to rise above a situation that many would find impossible, to continue to be her best self, and to put it all out into the world, for everyone to see. NO! For everyone to learn from, to draw on our own strengths, to continue to believe in ourselves. Thank you, Toby Neal!

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVE memoirs! I'm obsessed with reading about anyone's life that is completely different from mine. I don't think I've ever read a book set in Hawaii and the title/cover is what immediately drew me in to wanting to read this story! Well written, enjoyed the photos, and learning about a place and time I knew very little about.

[Jan Wollet · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5!

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fans of The Glass Castle will love this book. Toby is real and honest about her family dysfunctions and strengths when growing up in Kauai, Hawaii in the 1970s. I read this on my way to Kauai on my way to Kauai for vacation and gained an appreciation of a wilder Kauai from that time.

[Celina · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great surprising trip outside of what I normally read. This book is wild describing what it was like for Toby to grow up in Hawaii in the late 1960s and 1970s. I read half this book on kindle and half listened to it on Audible about half and half. I definitely just recommend just reading it. The narrator wasn't too great in my opinion. Plus the physical book has pictures of Toby and her family. I can't believe most of the things she was responsible for as a child with raising her younger sisters. Growing up feeling like you had to suppress who you really were and the bullying she faced at school for being a white person in Hawaii. She is always resilient and determined to work hard for the life she wants. It was easy to read in terms of just the wording. It was simple, to the point and I really liked that. Details like noticing people's eye color changed with their mood was amazing and made me wonder if I could do the same thing. There's another memoir that she wrote about traveling the states I believe and it makes me just want to continue reading her stuff. Absolutely beautiful and wild story.

If you want to branch out into more nonfiction/memoirs I really recommend this book it's on Kindle Unlimited right now.

Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Suicidal thoughts, Child death, Drug use, Death, Miscarriage, Alcoholism, Child abuse, and Racism

[Carmen Liffengren · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

What a fascinating look into life on the remote north shore island of Kauai in the '60s and '70s when Taylor Camp was a haven for hippies and surfers! Neal recounts her extremely unstable childhood in first person present, capturing a child's limited vantage of understanding. Neal's hippie, vegetarian, pot-smoking parents raised her and her sisters in shacks, tents, and vans, usually without running water or electricity. The stark beauty of Kauai comes into dramatic contrast with racism and bullying that red-headed Toby experienced throughout her childhood. The abundance of detail of Neal's early childhood through adolescence had me experiencing her limited diet of rice, mung beans, and foraged foods stacked onto the claustrophobia of an entire family living in a shack without electricity or privacy. I could understand how desperately Neal only wanted to feel "normal" and protected by her parents. I am very much interested in learning more about the Taylor Camp and surfer culture in the '70s.

[Penny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Toby Neal's memoir, Freckled: A Memoir of Growing up Wild in Hawaii, is engaging, poignant, enlightening, and entertaining. It also explains how she is able to create characters with such depth and convincing backstories. One always thinks of Hawaii as a paradise, but even a paradise can be a painful place to be with under-employed and over-stimulated parents trying to survive as poor outsiders (haoles) to the native peoples.

Toby's life story from age 3 to 18 is, at times, inspiring, sad, funny, encouraging, frightening, and always a reflection of a child who is a little bit larger than life, and how difficult that can be when growing up. (I encourage you to have a box of tissues handy. You might just need them.)

I highly recommend this book as a stand-alone read. If you are unfamiliar with Toby's fiction, this should spur you into sampling her work. Toby is an excellent writer of fiction and with this foray into non-fiction, we learn she is equally good at it.

[Cheryl Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an awe inspiring book. The trials that Toby survived and had to overcome is just amazing. The story of surviving not only her parents addiction to drugs and alcohol but also the addiction to surfing and living in the area of Hawaii as a non-native is just so heartening and uplifting! Being a “freckled” person in the area they lived in also added to Toby’s anguish. The fact that Toby has survived and become such a great person is not surprising as the stubbornness and intelligence Toby had from the beginning was the foundation she built her life on. Loved reading about the different areas of Hawaii and the ways that people lived and survived the life they lead in the different areas. The descriptions of the areas sucked me in from the start. The bond between Toby and her sisters made me think of my own sisters. The fact that I got angry, cried and laughed while reading the book is in tribute to Toby and her style of writing! Loved every page and picture in this book!!

[Christine C · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book could be Toby Neal's best ever. It is such a powerful, engrossing story of growing up out of the mainstream on a remote Hawaiian island. It is amazing that she survived her childhood, much less growing into the successful adult she is now. An excerpt from my blog post on this book: "Through it all, though, the book is an illustration of perseverance and determination. Toby realized that she had to rely on herself to get what she needed, from harvesting hallucinogenic mushrooms for the local drug dealer and babysitting for extra money to save up for her own horse, to enrolling herself in school and being determined to succeed in order to get college scholarships and make something of herself."
This story is shocking, touching, heartbreaking, and overall inspiring. A definite must-read.

[Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars
Freckled is the story of T.W. Neal's life growing up wild and un-tethered in various underdeveloped parts of Hawaii. After years of "camping" for, eating boiled chicken feed for breakfast, Neal finds herself yearning for a more traditional life and parents who are grounded and who care. However, her parents are addicted to many things; Kauai’s beauty and counterculture community, to drugs, to surfing, to living a life according to their own rules, but sadly the one thing they are not addicted to is providing a safe and nurturing childhood for their children.
What's most amazing about this book is Neal's ability to not only survive, but thrive and be a part of a solid and successful marriage and career.

[Stephanie Schmidt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a big fan of Toby's so when I was asked if I wanted an ARC of her memoir, I was excited to read it. I am not a big fan of Memoirs but I instantlly fell in love with this one. Thank you Toby for allowing me to feel what you felt growing up. I am so glad that I had a box of Tissues next to me while I was reading . I laughed so hard I cried and Then I cried so hard I laughed at myself. It's funny to me how our lives are so different yet so similar at the same time.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Toby Neal tells a gipping tale of growing up in less than ideal circumstances. The eldest daughter of parents troubled by substance abuse issues, she had both experiences and responsibilities imposed on her at a very young age. Through it all, she showed a resiliency and a fortitude most people never achieve. This beautiful memoir, told in the first-person voice of the child being recalled, tears at your heart and keeps you cheering for Ms. Neal.

[Rachel Severinsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always swear myself off memoirs because they’re TOO DAMN SAD. And this one fits the mold. I wanna tell you it’s about growing up haole (white) in Hawaii in the 70s when her parents are hippies and the locals have a lot of racial/societal/cultural issues with white people, BUT ITS SO MUCH DEEPER THAN THAT. That isn’t an incorrect description, and I know from experience the locals are MEAN to outsiders, but.... ugh. IT WAS SO GOOD. SO GOOD. GO READ IT. NOW.

[Elisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story is a true gift from one of the bravest most amazing women I know.

Freckled is an emotional rollercoaster brought to life through Toby's wonderful words, I really can't convey enough how much reading this amazing story has meant to me, thanks Toby for putting your heart and soul onto the pages for us all to read.

A magical, devastating trail of survival, angst, spirit and strength.

[Chrissy Burke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good Enough

I wasn’t captivated by Toby’s story like many others were. But I found it interesting enough to read and appreciate her struggle and journey, and where she ultimately got herself in life. A respectable memoir.

[Bonnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing story !

[diane stefon · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you enjoyed The Glass Castle, this is a must read. The afterword by John Wehrheim was very interesting along with the photos of the camp in the interactive map. Definitely a must read

[Judy Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding book

I take my hat off to Toby....you endured so much,and still you loved your family...it broke my heart the way your father treated you and I was finally glad when your mom ecognized his anger towards his children.
Toby you were smart and strong that is what saved you..you were so brave to move to CA to finish your education and go to college...I was so happy for you...so proud of you that you had a goal and stayed focused. I loved your book and I am so happy for you and your siblings...you all survived!!!! I will read some of your other books now..thank you for writing such a poignant story of your life..

[Kirsten · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading about Toby’s chaotic childhood with hippy parents who keep bouncing their family around as they keep adding daughters to the brood in 1960’s-70’s Hawaii and California gives us a rare glimpse into this time period on Kauai. Tobi overcomes many obstacles despite the instability in her life. She learns the hard lessons of life in a very dysfunctional family swinging between extreme poverty and wealth. Toby struggles with alcoholic self-centered parents drawn to the surfing life on Kauai, with bullies on a racially divided island, with educating herself, with plain survival, and with the ups and downs of growing up as the oldest, responsible kid. Toby shows grit and resilience. This a memoir told in present tense from the point of view of the growing girl. Excellent approach to telling the story. Memorable, compelling, eye-opening and full of love as well as tears and frustration. Highly recommend it.

[Jenifer Dawson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Painfully poignant

Finally..a story that kept me coming back for more...what was the next stage of her life going to bring ....I never got bored and was drawn into her moods and emotions.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent memoir

This is a fun and fast read! Reminds me of the “A Girl Called Zippy” books more than “The Glass Castle.”