In the Silences

by Rachel Gold

When did life get so dangerous? Kaz Adams just wants to read comic books with her best friend, Aisha Warren. And maybe get up the nerve to ask her out, if Kaz turns out to be a gender that Aisha’s into.
Kaz figured she’d be the target of violence for her gender nonconformity, but a fatal police shooting thirty miles from their town opens her eyes to the realities of racism. She watches as pressures at school and in their social group mount against Aisha. Kaz would try to stop a bullet for Aisha if she had to, but she has no idea how to stop the waves of soul-crushing disapproval and judgment. When she talks to the other white students and adults in her area, they don’t seem to understand what she’s talking about.
Aisha has helped Kaz find a place in the world, but that was about Kaz’s gender expression. Kaz can’t magically change the world for Aisha, but something has to change in their school system or she’ll lose the girl she loves.

Genre: Young Adult
Editor: Katherine V. Forrest
Cover Designer: Kristin Smith

Genres: Young Adult, Romance, LGBT, Fiction, Contemporary, Bisexual, Queer

260 pages, Paperback

First published May 21, 2019

About the author

Rachel Gold has spent seven years as a reporter, ten years in marketing, and holds a Master of Fine Arts in Writing degree. She worked as the senior reporter for a weekly newspaper with a readership of up to 100,000. She also served as a PR manager for an international technology company whose reach extended to Europe, Asia, and Australia. She has appeared at the Minnesota Library Association Round Table speaking on young adult literature and lives in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota.

Reviews

[Lex Kent · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really good YA book. As I’ve mentioned multiple times I can be up and down when it comes to YA books but Gold writes really well. This is the third book I have read by her and all of them have been quality reads. Gold writes about topics that other authors tend to shy away from. In this book Gold takes on race, gender, and sexuality. Each time I read one of her books I walk away feeling like I learned something new which I always appreciate.

This book covers about three years in two teenager’s lives. Kaz is struggling with their gender while Aisha has to deal with systematic racism after moving to a town this is mostly white. These two teenagers click and become best friends instantly. Kaz knows they are falling for Aisha hard, but can Aisha accept how Kaz sees their own gender? And with racism affecting Aisha’s schooling, will she be around long enough for Kaz to find out?

This is one of those books that definitely messed with my emotions. I went from crying one minute, to being so mad I was steaming the next. And while some of this book was hard to read because you know it’s a fiction book based on facts, there was still plenty of uplifting moments. This is one of those YA books that should really be in school libraries but is also a book adults should read. Even with me talking many sociology classes including gender studies when I was in college, terms and how we understand gender has really changed in the past few years. I feel like I’m coming away with a better understanding of how some genderqueer people feel about themselves. And while I know there is plenty of racism still alive in 2019, you just have to turn on the TV to know it, this book made me think about things, as a white person, I just never would have considered.

While there are some tough parts to read in this book, there is a sweet G rated YA romance. I thought Kaz and Aisha were just perfectly adorable together. I loved how much they uplifted and fought for each other. Kaz was a little warrior and I just loved that about them. And while not everything was wrapped up in a neat little bow, I enjoyed how the ending of the book made me feel.

This is one of those books that I just think people should read. Like I mentioned before I think Gold writes books that are important. She knows how to leave an impact on you while getting your mind working. That is the sign of a good book and a good author in my opinion.

An ARC was given to me for a honest review.

[JulesGP · Rating 5 out of 5]

YA books make me happy. That’s exactly what I expected with In the Silences, something breezier than what I had been reading lately. Kaz and Aisha seemed to be that story. Small town life in Minnesota where a sweet 14 year old meets the pretty, new girl down the street should be that story but in a town where the population is 95% white and only 2% black, nothing is simple, not even for two kids trying to be friends. But this isn’t 1960. It’s now.

The author hits us head on in the first pages as Kaz witnesses first hand how even black children are aggressively targeted by some white adults. Aisha is wonderful and Kaz can’t comprehend the why’s, all she knows is that her new friend is vulnerable and she wants to fight for her. But Aisha is focused and razor sharp, already planning her path to medical school. She’s also learned to navigate and keep herself safe in a world that views her as an active threat. In that way, she’s miles ahead of her new friend who is struggling to find the tools to fit in. Kaz is trying to understand her place in the world and knows that checking off the male/female box does not encompass who she is. Together, Aisha and Kaz help each other create individual paths to strength. It’s not easy, racism and lgbtq hatred can at least be dispiriting and at worst, life threatening. But having each other as well as a fantastic group of supporters means there’s hope and progress.

The book is painfully accurate, showcasing the micro aggressions which challenge poc in the every day world as well as showing the unintentional missteps that folks from different cultures can make when establishing new friendships. In the Silences is not always a comfortable read but Kaz and Aisha are two unforgettable young people and sharing their journey is worth it. I want to add that they make the cutest couple so there are plenty of smiles as we watch them grow older and begin to learn what being together really means. Highly recommended to everyone.

[Joc · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wavered quite a bit before requesting this novel and in the end I’m glad I did because it was an enjoyable story as well as giving me a lot to think about. Kaz is in the eighth grade when Aisha and her family move in across the road. Their first meeting of her is tainted with a man yelling at Aisha for not controlling her dog even though it’s not actually her dog. It’s not long before Kaz realises that Aisha would be subject to this kind of treatment on a regular basis because she’s one of the few black kids in a predominantly white neighbourhood and school. Kaz adores Aisha and develops a crush her but holds back from telling her because they’re not secure in their own identity yet.

Aisha comes from an educated, open and supportive family and has been out as a lesbian since she was twelve. Kaz, their mother and brother don’t have the same kind of relationship but fortunately their grandfather’s wife, Milo, is wonderfully woke and willing to learn what she doesn’t know. Kaz hasn’t figured out where their comfort in themself lies. They are cis female but not always sure that’s how they feel.

There are so many complicated aspects in these two young people’s lives, over and above the normal difficulty of teenage-hood, that they have to learn about and face. The racism that Aisha has to deal with is often subtle and covert which is so much harder to identify and fight because there is enough leeway for deniability. Kaz has an incredible journey to trying to figure out how they see themself and how they want others to see them. The beauty in this novel is seeing how Aisha and Kaz assist each other in their respective process of discovery and each other’s battles.

Speaking as a white person, we often don’t see or acknowledge the privilege or advantage that the colour of our skin affords us. Often, it is only when we have a good friend, partner, spouse or child who is black that we begin to notice the inconsistencies of treatment, even when our environment purports to be one of equality. This is one of the aspects that this novel gets across in a way that is engaging, thought-provoking and enlightening.

I’ve made it sound a little heavy but in fact the sweetness of their relationship counterbalances the more serious aspects.

Book received from Netgalley and Bella Books for an honest review.

[Danika at The Lesbrary · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I originally was a bit worried about a book so much about race being written by a white author, I realized that this is actually about white people confronting the reality of racism, and how to be anti-racist as a white person. It really explores the day-to-day of microaggressions and unrelenting racism, particularly anti-black racism. (Kaz's best friend/love interest, Aisha, is a black bisexual teenage girl.) At the same time, Kaz is exploring their gender, and beginning to accept being non-binary and what that means. They are able to find commonality in their identities being erased, but they also recognize their very different experiences and work to become allies for each other. I feel like what Not My Idea: A Book About Whiteness does for small children, In the Silences does for teens. I still haven't found a lot of books like these two, which recognize that it is white people's responsibility to learn about racism and fight to change it, and especially to educate each other. Much-needed.

[Carrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this for an education on gender and racism.

Kaz and Aisha meet in the 8th grade and become fast friends. They grow and learn from one another. Kaz struggles with gender identity. She also begins to have romantic feelings for Aisha, who happens to be black. Through their relationship, Kaz begins to open her eyes to the real modern and prevalent racism that exists regardless of how 'woke' people claim to be.

I have never been a cartoon or comic book fan. So it was really difficult for me to fully get into this one. I can appreciate that they used this as a way to further understand and cope with things they were going through.

The book seemed over informative to me. It was overload. I definitely took away some things. Especially things as they related to Aisha and the racism encountered. Just the fact that parents have to raise their black children to understand racism and how to deal with it from a young age, is just crazy to me. I never thought about it and I don't like it now that it has been brought to my attention.

The gender stuff... I related most to Mr. Warren in this. I understand people are finding new ways to identify and I truly think everyone should just live their true selves happily. But even after everything Kaz internalizes, researches, etc... I have to say that I still don't get the pronouns they/them. I got the message about them being acknowledged now as grammatically correct. I understand how agender/nonbinary people would feel uncomfortable being called him or her. But why not create specific and unique pronouns? I may be ignorant about this, but wasn't there a Zee and Zed or something like that once?

This was a well written book. It reminded me of a classic style coming of age story. The Kaz/Aisha relationship was sweet. They were good kids and that helped us feel sympathetic to everything they were encountering. I would have liked the book to feel less like a lesson, but I did enjoy it. Took me out of my comfort zones at times. It showcased some things I hadn't considered. And I'm pretty sure that was what the author had hoped in accomplishing.

I received an ARC from the publisher for an honest review

[Basmaish · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm glad I'm learning to find my way through the types of YA books I would end up liking and this is definitely one of them. Such a wonderful book. The author very bluntly and in a straight-forward and incredible way talks about current issues that are garnering a lot of political attention now and always and does not shy away from the topics that people would often feel uncomfortable to talk or to ask questions about.

This is a book that heavily discusses racism, sexuality and gender from the perspective of two young kids who are learning to navigate their way through school and their families. Kaz is struggling to understand their gender and representation while Aisha is struggling with racism and the microaggression in her community. They both become best friends who click over comics and superhero (which I totally loved) and slowly start to fall for each other. Throughout the book you watch them trying to change the people around them starting with their friends and families. The book reinforces the idea of how important it is not just to have your family by your side but the connections you make with people who become your chosen family and how much of a change that can make.

Kaz and Aisha's relationship is very adorable. We get to see how two young kids try so hard to understand the other's struggle and to educate themselves. Kaz is learning everything they can about racism and unpicking the "Apocalypse" from their brain; which refers to the inner stereotypes and misconceptions we have of people especially people of color and the privileges white people have. Aisha is learning all about gender, non-binary spectrum and the fluidity of it all. They navigate each other's struggles using superhero references and it's all just so sweet!

I find it hard sometimes to imagine what it's like for people in this age group (11-16 year olds) because of course I can't relate but also I can't recall what I was like during that time so I'm not really able to fully picture it. But I for sure remember I was not as smart or as involved or nearly as articulate as the people in this book or even in the people in real life right now! I'm glad such a book exists and I need to make more of an effort to look for more books like this because this is such a powerful way to teach kids and adults too about what's happening and it's a powerful way to include younger people into the conversation, to listen to their thoughts and experiences and learn from them and to teach adults how much standing up in any small way can make a difference.

I learned a lot from reading this book and reading any perspective or experience that's in any small way different than mine is always something I look forward to.

(I received a free e-book copy of this title from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.)

[Colleen Corgel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was very, very good. Gold has a way with using aspects of her character's personalities to help really get across what they are feeling, or even to foreshadow. It always makes for an interesting read. With this outing, it's no different. She uses her characters' love for comics as story elements in fun and creative ways.

Kaz Adams has a bit of a secret, well, two actually. One is that they don't know whether or not they are male or female; the second is that they are hopelessly in love with their best friend Aisha Warren. They're also starting to tune into some of the more racist attitudes in town because they're so in tune with Aisha and an infamous police shooting that occurred extremely close to their suburban (and very white) neighborhood. Kaz is working through their feelings for Aisha and their coming out in terms of their gender identity in private, but they realize in so many ways that Aisha isn't afforded that luxury. Kaz must navigate all this, be there for the person they love most in the world, and tell her how they feel.

I love how complex this book is; there is a lot of stuff crammed in these 2000 pages. Even far out of my teens, there's a lot of things that Kaz goes through in her learning to be a good ally that I see a lot in myself. Kaz also becomes a teacher when it becomes their turn to reveal their gender identity, too. It is a great balance that is wrapped up in the fact that Aisha and Kaz want to protect their people. It's reiterated throughout the book in so many ways that Aisha and Kaz are soulmates, but it doesn't get too dramatic about it. It's in all of their interactions, spoken and not, that they just are meant to be together. And I love it because its just so gosh darn sweet.

This is a straightforward romance with a lot of complex issues to help beef up some of the fluff. Throw in some comic book nerd-isms, and you've got a pretty great YA novel.

I received this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Evren (Nonbinary Knight Reads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn’t sure what to expect from this book. The summary was interesting, but I wasn’t sure how heavy some of the topics would be or how everything would be handled. This was a really good book. Gold did a great job at writing this book with the characters and the topics.

This book spans from August 2015 to January 2018 in the lives of two teenagers. The book is written in first person from Kaz’s perspective, so you get to learn things, about them and other topics, at the same time that Kaz is learning these things. Kaz is trying to figure out their gender while Aisha, their best friend, is having to deal with systematic racism in the town. They bond over comics and superheroes and Kaz starts crushing on Aisha, but will Aisha be attracted to whoever Kaz ends up being? During this time, Kaz also learns about racism and how it affects Aisha and others.

I want to start with the fact that first person was probably the best way to write this book. Third person would not give it as much weight. You get to feel and struggle with Kaz as they deal with discovering their gender. As someone who is nonbinary, it was interesting to read someone else coming to terms with their gender especially because they felt differently about their gender than I feel about mine. It also gave you a great way of viewing and learning about systematic racism, especially because, being a teenager, Kaz was using terms and ideas that helped them come to terms with what was going on around them.

I also liked how Gold wrote the idea of systematic racism (I don’t know if that’s worded right). Gold used “Apocalypse”, a villain, as a way of describing the racism that lives in people’s heads. Apocalypse has mind control powers, or something similar, so he controls people and makes them think what he wants them to think. Makes people see others in a certain way. It might not be a perfect example, but for a YA book it feels good. It seems like a legitimate way to try and explain the topic to teenagers, even some adults who haven’t considered it.

Probably the biggest drawback of this book is also it’s biggest strength. The discussion and handling of topics such as gender, sexuality, transitioning, racism, and everything else they discussed. They are great topics, handled in a really good way, but it also makes the book heavier. There were times when I had to get up and stop reading for a bit just so I could get back to the book. I had to make sure that I had the headspace and emotional/mental capacity to handle those discussions at the time. Some parts also dragged due to this nature as well.

This is a book more people need to read. I’m white and nonbinary. So I can comment on the fact that I loved and related to Kaz’s portrayal and the way they struggled through coming to terms with their identity, but I can’t tell you if Gold did justice with her portrayal of POC and racism. What I can tell you is this is a book that discusses heavy topics, and the book is geared towards middle-grade/young adults. They should read this, it should be in more libraries, more adults should check it out too.

I really loved this book. I loved Kaz and Aisha and how the relationship developed. I loved reading about Kaz coming to terms with their identity even if it sometimes struck too close to home. I loved learning more about systematic racism and the way POC are targeted and biased against on a regular basis. This is an amazing book, and I hope to one day own it.

[Michaela Aisling · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an e-book copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

As is plainly stated in Rachel Gold's Author's Note, this is a book about a white person learning to be an ally, and it's an excellent one at that. So often on matters of race, gender, sexuality, and other such sensitive topics pertaining to minorities, there's a selection of 'allies' who – rather than using their privilege for good, and listening to those in worse positions than themselves – think that they should be the ones to speak on behalf of the disadvantaged. It's so easy to tell yourself that you're educating yourself, and those around you too, and doing it for some sort of greater good, but when that attempt at an education comes in the form of your voice being louder, clearer, and more trusted than the voices of those that you're claiming to be an ally to – are you really helping anybody, or merely your own ego?
The great thing about In The Silences is that Kaz, our main character, has no intentions of doing that whatsoever. It's so easy to create a story that addresses race from the perspective of a white person, and to have them fall effortlessly into the white saviour trope, but Gold never seemed to be at risk of doing so here. Instead, we follow Kaz on countless journeys throughout the course of the story.

Kaz and Aisha are best friends. Kaz is white, Aisha is black, and so begins Kaz's education on systematic racism, as they play witness to every single instance in which Aisha is treated differently to them. Kaz slowly becomes aware of their own privilege as a white person, and how greatly their position differs to Aisha's own.

Something that I adored about this story is the inclusion of Comic Books, their infatuation with the Marvel Universe, and how the stories of these mutants and these heroes paralleled with their own. In particular, I enjoyed the way that as the story progressed, and as Kaz's own understanding of racism, their own social standing, and the ignorance of those around them grew, the more they were able to equate it to the characters they had grown to love.

“Evil had come into the house of my mind like Apocalypse – a parasite that promised to empower me if I listened to it. But listening didn't give me power, it made me destructive. If I didn't pay attention to this voice, it would gain power, it would overtake me when I wasn't aware. It would use me to hurt Aisha. It would hurt me in order to hurt Aisha.”

The greatest example of this was that way in which Kaz constantly used Apocalypse – a villain from the Marvel X-Men comics – as a means to understand internalised racism, misogyny, transphobia, and homophobia. It may read as childish to some, but from the narrative of a 15 year old teenager, trying to understand their standing in a dark, confusing, and admittedly terrifying world, I felt as though it was very apt. I've read countless YA novels that try to put me into the mindset of just how a teenager is meant to feel, and I regularly come away from those books feeling as though the author has never interacted with a teenager in their life, and has long since lost any semblance of a grasp on their own teenage years. At 25 years old myself, I've moved on from my teen years, but they weren't so long ago that I've completely forgotten them, and I can say for certain that I had an overactive imagination, and I was always, and still am, prone to using fiction and sci-fi as a reference to help me understand the real world. Using fantasy, science fiction, and any sort of fiction to help you get a grasp on the things that go on around you is fairly common, at least in my understanding, and to see Kaz using what she knows best as a way to help them gain a better understanding of such important issues was a joy to read.

“That voice, Apocalypse's evil mind control, had to keep telling me that black people were dangerous – the same way it told me women were less than men and that gay was unnatural – to keep reinforcing those ideas. I knew that women were as powerful as men, Milo made sure of that. I knew that gay guys were beautiful together, my body made sure of that. But what was the truth of the situation with black people? It took me a long time to work through because there were a lot of truths, but the one that hit me hardest was this: in America, black people were in danger. That was a truth the voice wanted to hide.”

Countless times they reference back to Apocalypse, to his mind-control and his ability to get inside of peoples' brains, using it as the perfect metaphor for the tiny voices that we all have in the back of our mind – you, me, and Kaz included. We are all born with these internalised prejudices, these little voices that tell us what is and isn't superior, that build us up only to tear other people down. What matters isn't that we have them – it's inevitable, in many ways – but how we act upon them. So many people absolutely refuse to accept the fact that we live in a society that normalises prejudice, celebrates ignorance, and rewards the rich, white, cisgendered, able-bodied and heterosexual above all else. As a white woman myself, I would love to say that I have always had an open mind, and that I'm less inclined to fall prey to such bigotry – that said, we'd all like to believe that of ourselves, and I know fine well that, especially as a child and a teenager, I had certain views and opinions on the world that would mortify me to hear of now. I am not completely educated on the lives and cultures of others, and I have so much to learn through the course of my life, and I'm willing to, and desperate to undo any of the damage that society and these mindsets do inflict on minorities in any way that I possibly can. There is a large selection of people who are so ignorant, so set in their ways, that the mere concept of taking a step back and re-evaluating themselves, re-evaluating their views, and actually listening to minorities is such a foreign and discomforting concept to them that they will flat out refuse. So many people are so blind to what's happening around them that they won't even open themselves up to the possibility of learning and understanding new perspectives, no matter how damaging and dangerous their own attitudes are, and I think that Kaz – their narrative, and their own self-reflection through the course of this book – does an incredible job of addressing this and really digging into the root of it.
Kaz uses their love of comic books to help them understand these concepts, and so many of the characters in the book – but Kaz and Aisha especially – flit from fun-loving and playful, their ages clear in their behaviour and even their speech patterns, to educational and awe-inspiring, using their own personal privileges and experiences to learn and to adapt, yet all the while without making the dialogue feel like some sort of robot info-dump.
Kaz's own ignorance is always addressed, by themselves and by others, and their self-awareness and growth throughout the course of the story does not go amiss. While intent on educating their white peers and family members as best they can, they never hold Aisha accountable or responsible, or expect her to have to put herself in a position of discomfort or danger. It's never Aisha's job to educate the white people around her, nor does Kaz ever try to force her into a scenario that shines a light on her or makes her feel as though she has to be the voice of the entire black community, or the bisexual community. Some of my favourite moments while reading this book were the instances in which Kaz recognised their own wrong-doings, and how their words or actions could have been perceived. Their acknowledgement of the way that they can treat Aisha in private, one-on-one, versus the way that they must treat her in public, when surrounded by their straight, white friends, was an eye-opener both for them and for me as a reader. The dynamic between both of these characters – both during the platonic and romantic stages – was so healthy and sincere, each of them holding themselves accountable for their own ignorance and errors, always apologising where necessary, and being willing to learn and adapt for the sake of not only each other's comfort, but for strangers, too.

I really desperately enjoyed this book, and I think that Gold done an incredible job of addressing countless different issues. As well as approaching the topic of race so delicately, and without ever presenting Kaz as some sort of white saviour, Gold's treatment of both Aisha and Kaz's sexualities, and Kaz's gender and identity issues, was treated with all of the genuine care and devotion that can, quite often, be sorely absent from other such LGBT+ media.

I enjoy reading books that deal with matters of race, gender, and sexuality, and I appreciate that some books are going to be harder to read than others. If I'm reading a book that inherently focuses on homophobia, and the dangers of it, I always try to prepare myself for the level of discomfort that might come from reading such content. I know that such books can often be filled with scenes of discomfort, with characters being goaded and bullied and singled out in a way that is often heartbreaking to read. Sometimes, I know that such stories can often be riddled with slurs, or abuse, or any level of toxicity that might put emphasis on the main character's struggles. That said, there was a sense of relief in finally being able to read a story that handled so many different issues with such tender care, and never once resorted to slurs and discomfort. I was sad, uncomfortable even, any time a character in this book was subjected to some sort of snide or crude remark, and any time a character was hurtful or unkind. It's never particularly nice to read racist, homophobic, or transphobic interactions, but there are ways to approach them that don't leave a sickening, sour taste in the reader's mouth, and I think that Rachel Gold absolutely hit the nail on the head with this one.

This is a book that handles hard-hitting subjects with grace, while still managing to make me laugh and squeal with joy in the process. Kaz and Aisha have such an endearing dynamic throughout the course of the book, and I went through a roller coaster of emotions right alongside them. Not to mention, the dynamics between Kaz and Aisha's brothers, friends from school, grandparents and so many others was so touching and enjoyable, to be able to watch these characters grow and adapt with one another was a delight. Getting to witness such casual representation from characters of colour, non-binary, transgender, and non-conforming main and supporting characters, as well as Aisha, in particular, who had such a solid and uplifting grasp on her own bisexuality, never shying away from it or from educating others on her identity, was such a delight when such representation continues to be so lacking in other such media and fiction.

In an attempt to wind down this review, I'd just like to add, too, that the author's note at the end of this novel was also another pleasant surprise. Rachel Gold understands her privilege and she knows her place, and rather than talking about the struggles of a white woman, or giving her own white character a pat on the back for being 'woke' and 'accepting', she focuses on drawing attention to novels by LGBT+ authors and people of colour. She cites all of her research and reference points for this novel on her website, as well as leaving links to safe spaces and websites that support those struggling with gender identity and transitioning. Not to mention resources to address stereotype threats, websites that support black LGBTQ+ teens, and websites that catalogue young adult novels searchable by race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, and far more.

I would – and have already done so! – highly recommend this book to anybody. I think it's a great YA novel that I could absolutely talk about for days on end if I had the time or the energy. There were so many points that I didn't have nearly enough time to address, so I would absolutely implore anybody and everybody to read this and take an opportunity to see what all the hype is for themseleves!

[Kat (Bookish Blades) · Rating 5 out of 5]

why I think this book is really important and should be read by every white person on this planet, especially if they're cis and straight:

-MC (Kaz) is white and nonbinary
-best friend/love interest (Aisha) is a black bisexual girl with an accepting, open minded family and lesbian aunts and a trans cousin
-there is Indian and Asian American (Korean?) rep
- Kaz and Aisha learn so much about gender identity and race and racism
- the racism portrayed here makes you especially angry because it's subtle. I'm not saying that outright racism makes me less angry, but here it's especially the little things because we, as white people, probably don't even notice what we're doing
- people learning how to be allies
- bi, nonbinary, trans, lesbian & gay rep
- trans woman is a college professor with great advice
- reader learns alongside characters

other reasons why this book is really great:

- cute dogs
- superheros/superheroines/superpersons
- great friendship
- cute romance
- family support and all the family drama

If you want to read a longer version of this, I wrote a complete review on my blog Kat from Minas Morgul

*note: I got this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars
A really well executed YA novel with depth and feeling that touches many diverse topics but manages to give a coherent and strong message to young people and adults alike. The characters are beautifully written, the plot interesting, the young romance sweet, the family dynamics amazingly well done.
Read it! It's more than well worth your time. Highly recommended.
eARC via NetGalley

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a copy of In the Silences from the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

In the Silences by Rachel Gold is a young adult novel centering around Kaz Adams, a genderqueer teen trying to navigate growing up in a world that seems increasingly off-kilter.

The backbone of the story is Kaz’s friendship with Aisha Warren, who moves into Kaz’s neighborhood when the two are fourteen. They quickly bond over a shared love of comics, and as their friendship deepens over the next year, Kaz realizes that their feelings for Aisha aren’t solely platonic. But Kaz is exploring their gender identity and is unsure if they’ll turn out to be a gender that Aisha is attracted to. More than that, their close friendship with Aisha opens their eyes to the prevalence of racism in their town.


Kaz struggles with the mismatch between how they see themself and how the world sees them, but at the same time, they’re aware that they have camouflage; they can modify their gender expression if necessary. The way the world sees Aisha isn’t something she can escape.

The two support each other in their struggles and explorations and their friendship is a really sweet, delightful thing to read. I liked seeing them bond over favorite comics and discussions of when they first saw themselves represented on the page. There are a lot of comic book references, especially to the X-Men, and particularly the villain Apocalypse, who Kaz uses as a recurring metaphor throughout the story. Although you don’t need previous familiarity with any of the mentioned comics – the references are explained pretty well – it’s a nice bonus for fans.

There are heavy parts to the story, of course – how can there not be, when it tackles hard topics like racism and transphobia? – but overall it’s a sweet book. Kaz and Aisha’s friendship is the foundation of everything, and it’s a strong foundation. Family is another important aspect of the story, and Kaz’s grandmother Milo was one of my favorite characters.

I really loved this book. I loved the way Kaz narrated everything; the tone and style is very engaging. Gold largely manages to avoid being didactic or preachy, and she never favors the message over the story. And what an important story it is. It’s a wonderful exploration of gender, race, sexuality, and the various ways they intersect; it’s a story with specific, well-realized characters that are going through particular struggles, but also ones universal to growing up.

I was glued to this from start to finish. I wish I had had this book as a teenager, but it still resonated deeply with me. Highly recommended.

[Katie O · Rating 5 out of 5]

My new favorite queer YA novel.

Summary:
In the Silences is a phenomenal coming of age novel from the perspective of a 14/15 year old who is just trying to figure everything out (the way all 14/15 year olds are). Kaz Adams is a white teenager who is falling for their best friend/neighbor Aisha, who is black. This novel explores their relationship but also their inner worlds as they move from middle school into high school. The story is told from Kaz’s point of view, and takes the reader on a truly educational and at times deeply moving journey through life’s lessons on gender identity, racism, and the harsh realities of systemic injustice towards the “other” as Kaz themselves learns what it means to be an ally and also what it means to have one.

Featured Tropes:
Coming of age

Book Strengths:
This book is incredibly well-written. I am not always a fan of YA (it’s not the first genre I pick up), but I want everyone I know to read this one. Gold brings what is clearly extremely thorough research to a story that doesn’t feel overly educational, letting the characters’ journeys and central relationship shine through. While this novel addresses some very serious topics, it ends on a hopeful/optimistic note. The central relationship is sweet and develops beautifully, and the peripheral relationships are quite enjoyable too (I particularly enjoyed Milo and Mr. Warren).


Book Weaknesses:
I cannot even come up with a single weakness here.

Character Chemistry:
Kaz and Aisha’s relationship is a joy to read. The chemistry is written perfectly – both characters have a great growth arc that nicely coincides with their relationship to each other.

Heat Rating:
If this was a “sweetness” scale, I’d give it 5 stars (flowers?). It’s a YA novel that centers around young teens though, so the heat rating would probably be 1 flame.

Wrap up:
Overall, In the Silences is a YA novel about young people coming into their own queerness in a world where systemic racism and prejudice are alive and well. Kaz and Aisha will stick with me for a long time. Go out and read this one!

See full review at https://lesreveur.com/2019/12/09/in-t...
I was provided with an ARC and have voluntarily left an honest review.

[Annette Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful and important young adult book that examines gender, sexuality and race and how they intersect.
This is the story of Kaz and Aisha who become best friends over their mutual love of comic books and dogs. As they begin to wonder if the friendship is something more , Kaz realises that things may be more complicated than either of them imagined. Aisha has been out to her family for years, and they accept her completely but Kaz not only has to figure out changing feelings for Aisha, but also if she is a boy, a girl or something else entirely, since it seems to change almost every day. If that is not enough, she has started to notice that Aisha being black sometimes means she is treated differently, and so she begins to confront her own internal biases and try to make the world a better and safer place for the girl she loves, starting with school.
At the heart of this book is a really strong and sweet romance between Kaz and AIsha, based on friendship, trust, acceptance and attraction, but the journey to that romance is not an easy one for either of them and I loved how willing they were to fight for it and for each other. Clearly the book is not all sweetness and light, there are some truly hard hitting moments , and I admire the author for the way she handles them. It is a very thought provoking book, not just for the young adults it is aimed at, but for the grown adults too, and one that I would recommend wholeheartedly .Any book that could provoke the emotions this one did while I was reading is sure to stay with me for some time.
I read and reviewed an ARC courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher, all opinions are my own.

[Dru · Rating 2 out of 5]

My first foray into learning about "non-binary" and this was just "meh".

One major problem with the book is that it attempts to cover two HUGE topics: racism and non-binary genders. Neither was satisfactorily covered, though I have to admit the racism subject was more clearly done.

It is possibly on me that I don't "get" the character Kaz. As someone who is *not* non-binary I don't understand how a person wakes up day in and day out either wanting to be a girl, a boy or a tree (yup, that's in there). I get the mental health aspects of dissatisfaction, and even gender dysphoria, but the constant indecision struck me as absurd and annoying. What I think would've been easier to understand is "I don't feel like *either* a boy or a girl" rather than "on any given day I could be boy or could be girl". Assuming such feelings really are out there, this author just didn't help me understand them, sorry.

If we are headed toward a world where the societal construct which we call "gender" is no longer in existence , then this issue resolves itself, but I'm not sure we are. Evolution and biology have led us down certain paths. As much as we like to *think* we have risen above our animal instincts, we haven't. Just look at the lemmings of the world, acting without thinking. They will tear down a society that they fear, and they *do* fear anything which isn't "boys are boys and girls are girls and that's the end of the topic".

I wish I had learned more about this subject, so I'll keep looking for other sources.

[Della B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rachel Gold has written a new required reading textbook/fictional novel for 2019 and I wish all LGBTQ2+, young adults, teachers, parents, friends, aunts, uncles, heck, just everyone should read it. In the Silences is a modern day roadmap to begin understanding deep rooted racism, white privilege and gender nonconformity.

Fourteen year old Kaz Adams is searching for their gender identity while seriously crushing on their best friend Aisha Warren. Kaz wants to ask Aisha on a date but not until they can define their gender.
Aisha and her family recently moved from California to Minnesota. Being black in a predominantly white town and school has Aisha facing racism and white privilege every second of everyday.

We are given the privilege to be inside Kaz’s head all through this story. Reading about their struggles with how they feel about their body on a daily basis and who they will be when they can finally ask Aisha for a date is a mind blowing experience in a good way.
We are privy to a slice of what today’s youth is facing in their world. Defining personal sexuality is such an integral part of our youth. Nonconforming to the limited accepted gender nomenclature separates you from your peers with all the isolation it implies. You seek out someone similar to yourself anywhere available for you to look. Being just like someone else is a strong confirmation.

Rachel Gold never fails to captivate me with their novels. However, In the Silences struck a chord so deep in myself with their characters and their struggles I ached for Kaz to find inner peace and raged along side Aisha as she swallowed her anger against the blatant racism she faces.

This is a novel which will open your mind to see things you never noticed before. You will come away more knowledgeable about non binary individuals.
You will just be better because of this novel. I know I am.
Every inch of 5 ⭐️

I should mention this novel is geared towards the YA audience. Please do not let this classification hold you back from choosing to read In the Silences.

[Stef Rozitis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is on the surface a sweet high school romance complete with parents who don't completely get it, difficult teachers and various groups at school. Some of that gets idealised- as you would expect.

Gold uses the genre and conventions to unpack and interweave TWO really important issues of identity- gender and race. She portrays each of them carefully, drawing parallels but also showing difference (eg the history that racism has in the US, but sadly this was to some degree relevant also for Australia). Each of her characters shows empathy to the other's identity issues and each educates herself. There was admittedly some info dump and some characters brought in just to portray the more-than-one-version of an identity so this book was written more to educate than to just entertain.

Nevertheless as a non-binary person reading it, many of the insights of the book rang true- I did feel soothed to have the words come from outside myself for a change and when Kaz was clumsy to explain something I knew that I have stuttered to say my gender or why I can't just conform so I related to that. Some of the stuff about race (and white teachers perpetuating racism) rang true and for me as a teacher to diverse kids it helped me think about what to look for (and to try to courageously give lots of feedback).

This is a necessary book but with enough features of a merely entertaining one that it has a good chance of being read.

[Cindy Stein · Rating 3 out of 5]

When Kaz meets her new neighbor Aisha, she (later they) knows she's met someone special. Both are in middle school, love dogs and are totally into comic books. As Kaz's feelings grow, they must reckon with two important issues: the racism that Aisha faces as an African American girl and the growing realization that Kaz is nonbinary (sometimes female, sometimes male, sometimes both and sometimes something else).

That is the essence of this book--not particularly plot driven, and somewhat character driven, but mostly issue driven. There's a lot here for a younger reader to learn about on both of the important issues the book explores. Some of the explaining is done through the metaphor from a superhero comic story, using the evil character of Apocalypse as the purveyor of racism and gender binary rigidity who infects peoples' minds. Some of the explaining, like Kaz's paper on wealth inequality, is a bit too dense for fiction (YA or otherwise).

This book was a big undertaking and while it succeed in some respects it felt a bit too preachy and dense at times.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

'But we're not the same,' Aisha said. 'Our differences should be strengths, like superheroes. They don't have all the same powers, but they learn to use all their powers together to be greater than they can be alone.'

This was a really good book. I haven't read much/enough YA with such frank discussions of racism, and this was very educational, packing a punch by being told through a narrative. Kaz and Aisha meet in 8th grade and this story spans the first couple of years of their friendship as they navigate race, gender and sexuality. The author states that in terms of race, this is a story about a white person learning to be an ally. It's told through a really heartwarming friendship and through superhero analogies, using an X-Men villain to try and understand / fight against internalised racism, misogyny, homophobia and transphobia. I'd recommend this book.

*Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC.*

[Robin Moore · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read this YA book for a book group that was comprised mainly of middle school YA readers. It deals with gender identity & gender confusion & gender nonconformity while also tossing in racism & white privilege & stereotypical behaviors. The 2 main characters are female (though one is not entirely sure she is a female -Kaz -and wishes to go by pronouns "they/them"; the other -Aisha - is a black lesbian). Kaz & Aisha try out a romantic relationship while dodging/dealing with all the negativity they feel surrounds them. Kaz begins to see the extra hurdles Aisha must deal with as one of the very few people of color (less than 5) in this Minnesota school, and she makes it her mission to try and enlighten those around her about these injustices. I felt at times the author was a bit heavy handed with her descriptions and plot lines; her ending to her book was also a bit saccharine.

[Tarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book from the moment I started this book,
I love the way it explores race, gender identity, gender expression, and sexuality.

It shows how we as individuals and humans are shaped by our culture, who we grow up around, and family beliefs. How racism is hard to change when people don't see it and don't want change to happen.

Kaz, is figuring out who they are and that is hard when they don't feel like they belong with most people. Only really being able to connect with Milo their grandma at first is difficult. After joining an unofficial GSA group where they can find other people with similar experiences. They find that they are not alone, it is okay to not have everything figured out.

I watched myself in the mirror, struck my most guy pose and thought...no.
I cant do this all the time
I'm not a guy.
Maybe I'm a guy sometimes and a girl sometimes?

[Pup Loki · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm kinda conflicted. books like these are needed more than ever, that being said I gave a four for the while simplified to the point of a parody on race story line. I felt the book was more of a two or three. maybe a Mexican opinion on a book about black and white won't mean as much but the characters felt fake. I get its fiction but still. maybe if it had been a nonfiction story it might have felt more realistic. Aisha and kaz's relationship was codependent from the start. characters were safe and generic. I don't know. It felt very much like white people saved the day by the end. like I said maybe I wasn't the right audience for the book.

[Katherine Reiter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a thoughtful and layered young adult, I'm impressed with how well it handled serious and complex issues in a way that felt natural. I would highly recommend this book, it opened my eyes and I'm sure it'll open yours

[Caitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great novel featuring a cute relationship, earnest discussion of systematic racism and how to be an ally, and insight into the nonbinary experience. As a comic geek, I loved all the references.

[Ashley Bonnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story that lives up to the standard I have come to expect from Rachel Gold. In the Silences looks at the intersection of race, gender, and sexuality through the eyes of teenagers.

[Lennie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. I love to read about gender questioning.

[Kate A · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really, really loved this book. The book tackles race, gender identity, sexuality, mental health, friendship, relationships...all without feeling like it's doing "too much." I especially loved the portrayal of white anti-racism as something that is possible to do, and the way it shows how to move forward after messing up, which is something any ally WILL do. I felt like I learned from reading this book, but it was also a really sweet, touching story about love and friendship.

[Best Lesfic Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book! It deals with very serious issues of insidious brain-washing that leads to non-acceptance, stereotyping, marginalization and discrimination on multiple levels and is breathtakingly brilliantly written.

Read the full review @https://bestlesficreviews.blogspot.co...

[Christy Dyer]

I received an e-book copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Kaz and Aisha became fast friends when Aisha moved from sunny California to Minnesota. They went to middle school together and Kaz develops a crush on Aisha, but they are not the right gender for her. Kaz doesn't know what gender they are, they just know that "female" is not right, and "male" doesn't fit either. But that doesn't matter to Aisha. They start dating when they start high school. Now, they face an even greater challenge. Aisha is being treated differently because she is African American. Students and teachers believe she is dumb or doesn't want to learn. When Kaz and Aisha work together, perhaps they can change how other people view race and gender.

This book was amazing. It was great reading a book about a teen who is confused about their gender and reading about how their friends and some members of their family accepted it. This would have been the kind of book I read when I was a teenager because I didn't know my own gender as well, but I am happy that there are more books like this. I also enjoyed the race aspect of the book as well. Kaz is learning about how racism affects Americans and what can be done to stop it. There are great resources in the back of the book if readers want to continue reading about it. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed it and I hope other books will come out about gender and racism.