Wilde's Women: How Oscar Wilde was Shaped by the Women he Knew

by Eleanor Fitzsimons

Hailed as a gay icon and pioneer of individualism, Oscar Wilde's insistence that 'there should be no law for anybody' made him a staunch defender of gender equality. Throughout his life from his relationship to his extraordinary mother Jane and the tragedy of his sister Isola's early death to his accomplished wife Constance and a coterie of other free-thinking writers, actors and artists, women were a central aspect of his life and career. Wilde's Women is the first book to tell the story of his female friends and colleagues who traded witticisms with Wilde but also give him access to vital publicity and whose ideas he gave expression through his social comedies. Author Eleanor Fitzsimons reframes Wilde's story and his legacy through the women in his life including such fascinating figures as Florence Balcombe who left him for Bram Stoker, actress Lillie Langtry (for a while an inseparable friend) and his tragic and witty niece Dolly who bore a strong resemblance to the writer and loved fast cars, cocaine and foreign women. Full of fascinating detail and anecdotes Wilde's Women relates the untold story of how the writer played a vitally sympathetic role on behalf of many women and how they supported him in the midst of a Victorian society in the process of changing forever.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, History, LGBT, Feminism, British Literature

320 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 19, 2016

About the author

I am a researcher and writer who specialises in writing about historical and current feminist issues. I have an MA in Women, Gender and Society from University College Dublin. My work has been published in a range of newspapers and journals including The Sunday Times, The Guardian, History Today and The Irish Times, and I am a regular radio and television contributor. My book Wilde’s Women was published by Duckworth Overlook in October 2015. My new biography, The Life and Loves of E. Nesbit, was published in October 2019.

Reviews

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone knows the bare bones of the story of Oscar Wilde's meteoric rise and downfall. But Fitzsimons delves into the world around Wilde, giving especially intimate portraits of the women who surrounded -- and, for me at least, often overshadowed -- Wilde. In particular, we learn much about Lady Jane, Wilde's mother, who was a genius in her own right and an icon of Irish nationalism (who knew? Not me, I'm ashamed to admit); we also learn a lot about Wilde's long-suffering wife, Constance, who stood by him as long as she could, even in the face of his obvious infidelities and the damage done to her life in society and her physical being. I also loved reading about Florence Balcombe, as her love triangle with Wilde and DRACULA author Bram Stoker is one of my favorite gossip tidbits of the time. Overall, I walked away from this book much better versed in the time, and with a better understanding of the options available to women of means, wit, and talent in Victorian England. A must-read for Wilde fans, of course, but also for (feminist) history buffs who have grown weary of reading only about the men history deemed worthy of remembering.

[Stephen Goldenberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book does what it says on the cover. As a result, even if, like me, you feel you may have read enough about Oscar Wilde, there's plenty here that will be new. In particular, the portrait of Oscar's fascinating mother, Jane. The other aspect of his life that was new to me was his stint as editor of Woman's World magazine where his championing of women writers and his support for equal rights for women came to the fore. Of the many women he had close friendships with, it is the writers and actresses such as Ouida, Sarah Bernhardt, Ellen Terry and Lillie Langtry that are the most fascinating. The only criticism I would make is that the book dragged a bit in the middle due to the author's inclusion of almost every woman he came across. I also felt that, despite the author's best efforts, she hasn't done full justice to Wilde's wife, Constance - although that may be because there are other recent books about her.

[Krystelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the first half of this book, I thought it was laden with nuance and interesting bits and bobs, as well as a good balance of information about Oscar, but the second half of this one felt somehow rushed. When it stopped focusing on the facts about the women in Oscar’s life, one by one, it lost the charm that it had. I also had an issue with the fact that the trial period was so rushed- we heard barely anything about Constance or even Oscar’s family in relation to that! I also feel like the chapter on Dolly was weirdly sandwiched in, with no real rhyme or reason as to why it was there (personally I would love a whole book on her should it ever be possible). I did also feel called out when the most miserable of his stories were my two favourites though 😂. A decent read but it had so much potential to be a little more special than it was.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although meticulously researched, this book does not come without a touch of bias. The words of the women in Oscar's life make him seem to be a rather tiresome and narcissistic unpleasant fellow. While he was a most entertaining writer, he certainly wasn't a nice person. The women in this book vary from intriguing (Florence Balcombe) to tiresome (his mother). I came away from this feeling like I had just read about a bunch of elitist fops.

[Yasmin · Rating 3 out of 5]

In all fairness this book is in my opinion 3.5 stars. The first 14 chapters are really very good, in detail and in style; there was even moments of amusement. It's when the next few chapters about Oscar Wilde's rise through his plays and then events around that time that the book lacks the impetuous that the author set out to achieve. The backgrounds to the women known to Wilde are rushed through only for the book to dash madly into the same vein as many others before it. At the time of Lady Windermere's Fan's production and subsequent plays the reader knows the plot-line thoroughly of Wilde's life. It's a pity as a consequence the book of getting bogged down in familiar territory that other women are regulated to brief mentions. I would think that Ada Leverson should have had more detail into her life before and while she knew Wilde. Another little criticism was that the author ascribed to Wilde a quote supposedly taken from The Nightingale and The Rose, when I queried the author she did assure me that it would be taken out of the paperback version. I have also queried the assertion of deafness that Wilde had all his adult life and regular infections of the right ear, but I haven't heard back from her on that; if it is indeed the case it is the first biography that have seen mention it. As well there seems to me a rather ambiguous description of the name altering that Constance and Otho sought out when they were in Europe. Other books suggest that Holland was Otho's middle name, Eleanor Fitzsimons makes no reference to that point. Nevertheless of these smaller details this book is a very good read and although it doesn't altogether highlight how Oscar Wilde was shaped by these women it does a marvellous job, up to a point, of recognising these women and bringing a wider audience of these many and varied remarkable women.

[Jbondandrews · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would have given Eleanor Fitzsimons more stars but the more Oscar crept into the book the less she wrote about the women in his life. I also found it completely unnecessary to mention his last few years as it is a standard refrain to all Oscar's previous biographies.

[Sue Robinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well written, in depth study of Oscar Wilde's mother and his female love interests. I struggled at various points. There was a lot about his mother Jane, who was a famous Irish poet in her time, which was news to me.

[Ajša P. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the third and final book that my poetry professor lent me on the subject of Wilde and his circle. Though much can be said on the topic of Wilde and his relations to men, I have always been fascinated with the women in his life and work. I get a feeling that sometimes, hailing Wilde as a gay icon can lead to diminishing the importance of women in his life, and I am glad that this book exists to provide an antidote to that.

In his biography, The Secret Life of Oscar Wilde, which I have only skimmed so far, but plan to read in full sometime in the future, author Neil McKenna argues that Wilde was, despite all of his personal and professional connections with women, a misogynist. I have always found that statement hard to believe, and Eleanor Fitzsimons' biography definitely disproves it fully. Though Wilde was, at least in my opinion formed by this book as well as Franny Moyle's biography of Constance, well aware of his status as a man in a sexist society, and could sometimes use this status well to his advantage, some of his views on women's issues were incredibly progressive for his time. To hail him as some sort of feminist icon would be a bit too much, but Fitzsimons illustrates perfectly how he was adamant in giving women a voice, whether that be in his personal life, through the magazine he edited, or through the characters he wrote in his works.

I loved the short biographies about the women who influenced his life most, as well as the general balance Fitzsimons implemented to her book by also highlighting some women who didn't particularly like or care about Wilde after meeting him. It was especially funny to me learning that Karl Marx's daughter Eleanor admired Wilde's mother, but found Oscar himself distinctly annoying. Speaking of his mother, the story of Speranza, otherwise known as Jane Wilde, was one of the most fascinating ones presented in the book. It surprised me to learn that back in the day, Oscar had the status of what we would today call a "nepotism baby". I knew that his mother was famous in her own right, but I never thought that her influence was as great as it was.

All this said, I would have loved to learn more about the women presented in Wilde's works. The book does some literary analysis, but I personally think that it could go into a little bit more detail as far as that was concerned. Another downside to this book was also that it could feel a little disjointed sometimes, jumping to and from different events happening in different time periods, which made me slightly confused as to where on the timeline the events were happening at times. All in all, I think this book is a valuable source and I'm very glad I got to read it.

[Nicola Pierce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know why I have never ever read about Oscar Wilde before but, thanks to this book, I'm going to remedy that. And I am so pleased that this is my first Oscar book. My God, what a story! Eleanor Fitzsimons's book is meticulously researched leaving no stone unturned. There is no doubt about it that OW was surrounded by brilliant women, from his mother to his wife, and his female friends and colleagues, who pushed him to be the best that he could be. As far as I'm concerned, there should be - at the very least - a statue to Jane Wilde somewhere in Dublin … actually, why not share Stephen's Green with her son. I knew nothing at all about her and am now in awe at her passion, intellect, productivity and her sad, sad end. This book is full of lives that briefly shone brighter than the stars in the sky only to implode at some point, leaving ashes in their wake. I highly recommend this book and look forward to Fitzsimons's life of Edit Nesbitt which comes out next September.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well researched and nicely organized, this biography focuses on the many women who influenced, and were influenced by, Oscar Wilde, starting with his mother, Jane. A writer and activist in her own right, she brought her son up to believe that he was exceptional and destined for great things. A consummate hostess, she filled her home with intellectuals and society people, caring little for the opinions of others. Her attitudes helped to make Oscar a bon vivant, a successful author and publisher, and someone who delighted in sharing his sometimes scandalous opinions publicly. His relationships with his wife, Constance, and with actresses and nobles are detailed here and help to explain his tragic end. His trial and imprisonment for indecency (homosexuality) was traumatic, but his attachment to Bodie would have ruined him even if he hadn't gone to prison. So sad.

[Walter's Writing Emporium · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading about a series of interesting and inspiring women, particularly Wilde's mother. I haven't read much about Wilde and only know the basic details of the famous scandal, but I think for Wilde fans this book might not shed that much new light. It did include some information and exerts from his writing, which I suppose is to be expected, however I do find this annoying in biographies as it feels like I'm getting spoilers.

[Sara G · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't really know what I think about this. It was interesting but not as interesting as I thought it would be. It also spent a bit too long on my TBR for me to be realistic about my expectations though so who knows.

[Ronan Anthony O'Reilly · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic book...it's a really terrific read!

[HattieB · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent once it got going but its biggest issue was pacing.

[Rixt · Rating 2 out of 5]

This felt more just info dumping: I miss insight, depth and layers..
and what was that epilogue??

I do appreciate the perspective and topic.

[Fionnbharr Rodgers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well-written bit of historiography.

[Kunzubtu · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Rewritten and updated from 2 stars to 4 because I re-read the book and realised I was a massively unfair Wildean snob the first time around; apologies to the author.)

In essence, this is a concise biography of Oscar Wilde that examines his interactions with the women around him and their lives and stories along the way.
The description on the jacket is somewhat misleading, as it builds the book up to something it couldn't possibly deliver: the book does not "tell the stories" of Oscar's female relatives, friends, and colleagues, because if it was trying to do so, it would be an 8-volume series. What the book excels at is giving glimpses into the lives of the women around Oscar whenever Oscar came into contact with them. Where the life of the woman in question was intertwined with Oscar's (as is the case with Lady Wilde and Constance Wilde), her story is picked up at different intervals and told alongside Oscar's.

The book is remarkably well researched, going beyond the usual round of "Oscar Wilde As I Knew Him"s by Oscar's celebrity friends and into autobiographies, letters and diaries of women who tend to be overlooked by history. It's short, but in many ways more accurate than longer and more scientific biographies. Most authors swing between a description of "Oscar, a gay man unhappy with his wife" and "Oscar, a man who wasn't as gay as all that considering he was very much in love with his wife". This book has a much more nuanced approach, noting the significance of Oscar's relationships with men like Bosie Douglas and Robbie Ross and the strained nature of the Wilde marriage in the 1890s without losing track of the fact that Oscar cared very deeply for his wife Constance throughout his life.

My favourite parts of the book: 1) The story of Lady Wilde: almost a proper biography of Lady Wilde tucked away inside a book about something else. I'm absolutely ready for Eleanor Fitzsimons' full biography of Lady Wilde and hope she will write one at some point. 2) The description of Oscar's time as editor of the Woman's World: the chapter not only looks at the way Oscar read and championed little-known female writers or the way the Woman's World provided a platform for groundbreaking feminists of their day. It goes beyond looking at Oscar Wilde as a supporter of women's writing and emancipation into questioning where he had got his views. I don't think a lot of readers will be aware that Lady Wilde was quite a radical feminist for her day, and few authors consider the possibility that Oscar had absorbed his mother's and wife's feminist views rather than the other way around.

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

For obvious reasons, the Oscar Wilde's relationships with men have long occluded the vital significance of the women in his life. Eleanor Fitzsimons seeks to revive our recognition and understanding of "Wilde's Women," and in this remarkable book, she does so with elegant narration and the keenest attention to detail.

It is most unusual to learn about someone near-solely through the perspectives of their acquaintances, but Fitzsimons rises to the task with supremely, trusting her readers to construct Wilde's biography as they take in the lives of the women he knew. The technique increases the literary interest and "readability" of the text, allowing us to sink into the story with ease and enjoyment.

And what a story! Though near-forgotten until this point, the women in Wilde's circle match him in their wit, eccentricity and fascinating lives. From his mother, the flamboyant Jane 'Speranza' Wilde whose writing fame once overshadowed that of her son's, to his wife's campaigning for Rational Dress, with dalliances with numerous noted female figures in the theatrical and literary sphere in between, Oscar Wilde certainly had rich pickings for female influence. Their lives make for fascinating reading, and Fitzsimons is impeccable in her attention to the minutiae of facts gleaned from diaries and correspondence, to build a realistic and vivid depiction of the women and the world surrounding them.

A little repetition throughout makes the book perhaps better suited to dipping into and chapter-hopping than a straight read-through, and the Dolly Wilde epilogue seemed somewhat abrupt, but these are mere nitpicks in an engaging and genuinely intriguing read. Would recommend for anyone from those with the most basic knowledge of Wilde and his works, to more acquainted readers searching for a new perspectives.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel a bit like I completed a relationship with this book. I'm a person who generally reads fiction, & rarely finish non-fiction. I started this last spring, and was enjoying it. I brought it on a trip to London, and it was a great to delve into after doing an inspiring walking tour about Oscar Wilde (http://www.walks.com/our-walks/the-lo...). Then I came home and left the book on a train. I got it out of the library, but knew I needed to read it slower than the library due date. So I bought a second copy. I'm glad I got through the whole book, and think it's an impressive accomplishment. Eleanor Fitzsimmons did a tremendous amount of research. It was so interesting to learn of the social structures of the time - at homes, salons, and personal introductions between friends. I loved learning about the feminist writers of the time who Oscar supported as part of the magazine he edited. So interesting to learn about the influencers of different eras who are forgotten. I find myself after reading this wanting to learn even more, and perhaps delve into some of the books from the bibliography. Which says a great deal about this book too.

[Rubery Book Award · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shortlisted for the Rubery Book Award for Non Fiction 2017

An extremely well-researched and accessible biography, which is also an entertaining read. I had no idea Oscar Wilde had even married, so it was a surprise to learn about his many relationships with women and how so many women influenced his work. Wilde’s mother was particularly fascinating. She was a highly intelligent, intellectual woman who not only campaigned for the rights of women, but for the independence of her native Ireland from British rule. She was an accomplished writer herself, publishing many poems and books on Irish Folklore. This biography is full of wonderful anecdotes about some of the most dazzling society figures of the day and contains some beautiful photographs, as well as many previously unknown facts about Oscar Wilde.

ruberybookaward.com

[Nancyann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ever since watching the late 1970s Masterpiece Theater series "Lillie" I've been fascinated by Oscar Wilde. Eleanor Fitsimmons has done a remarkable and scholarly job presenting a biography of Wilde according to the women who shaped his character. I will admit that I did not read the entire book completely, I skimmed much of it, but it is good to know that if you are looking for a meticulously researched book about Oscar and his women, look no further. Well done.

[Mick Meyers · Rating 4 out of 5]

looking at the life of oscar wilde from another perspective.a well written and fully researched book.

[Cara (Wilde Book Garden) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

CW: Homophobia, grief, depression