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Live Alone and Like It
"Whether you view your one-woman ménage as Doom or Adventure, you need a plan, if you are going to make the best of it."
Thus begins Marjorie Hillis' archly funny, gently prescriptive manifesto for single women. Though it was 1936 when the Vogue editor first shared her wisdom with her fellow singletons, the tome has been passed lovingly through the generations, and is even more apt today than when it was first published. Hillis, a true bon vivant, was sick and tired of hearing single women carping about their living arrangements and lonely lives; this book is her invaluable wake-up call for single women to take control and enjoy their circumstances.
Hillis takes readers through the fundamentals of living alone, including the importance of creating a hospitable environment at home, cultivating hobbies that keep her there ("for no woman can accept an invitation every night without coming to grief"), the question of whether single ladies may entertain men at home (the answer may surprise you!), and many more.
With engaging chapter titles like "A Lady and Her Liquor" and "The Pleasures of a Single Bed," along with a new preface by author Laurie Graff (You Have to Kiss A Lot of Frogs), LIVE ALONE AND LIKE IT is sure to appeal to live-aloners and many other readers alike.
Thus begins Marjorie Hillis' archly funny, gently prescriptive manifesto for single women. Though it was 1936 when the Vogue editor first shared her wisdom with her fellow singletons, the tome has been passed lovingly through the generations, and is even more apt today than when it was first published. Hillis, a true bon vivant, was sick and tired of hearing single women carping about their living arrangements and lonely lives; this book is her invaluable wake-up call for single women to take control and enjoy their circumstances.
Hillis takes readers through the fundamentals of living alone, including the importance of creating a hospitable environment at home, cultivating hobbies that keep her there ("for no woman can accept an invitation every night without coming to grief"), the question of whether single ladies may entertain men at home (the answer may surprise you!), and many more.
With engaging chapter titles like "A Lady and Her Liquor" and "The Pleasures of a Single Bed," along with a new preface by author Laurie Graff (You Have to Kiss A Lot of Frogs), LIVE ALONE AND LIKE IT is sure to appeal to live-aloners and many other readers alike.
144 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1936
102 people are currently reading
2361 people want to read
About the author
Marjorie Hillis
9 books26 followersMarjorie Hillis was the second child of Annie Louise Patrick Hillis of Marengo, Illinois, and Dr. Newell Dwight Hillis of Magnolia, Indiana, both authors. Mrs. Hillis wrote The American Woman and Her Home (1911). Dr. Hillis was a famed, though sometimes controversial, clergyman who had served as pastor of Plymouth Congressional Church, Brooklyn, from 1899 to 1924. Miss Hillis had a brother, Richard Dwight Hillis (born 1888) and a sister, Nathalie Louise (born 1900). The Hillis' resided for many years in Brooklyn, New York. Dr. Hillis passed away in 1929, Mrs. Hillis not far behind in 1930.
Educated expensively at a private school for girls, Miss Dana’s in Morristown, New Jersey, Miss Hillis spent a year abroad before going to work for Vogue.
Hillis worked for Vogue for over twenty years, beginning as a captions writer for the pattern book and working her way up to assistant editor of the magazine itself. In 1936 she wrote Live Alone and Like It, the superlative guide for 'bachelor ladies'. Although determined to write a "how-to" book, Miss Hillis was not sure initially exactly what topic she would cover. She found that the “how to please a man” angle had already been pretty well covered, so decided to write about how a women living alone could have a “cheerful life.” The concept was a somewhat shocking one, and Miss Hillis found herself a media sensation. “Sophisticated Miss Hillis honestly believes there are advantages in a husbandless state!" one critic wrote. It was an instant bestseller and was followed by Orchids on Your Budget.
She was the champion of bachelor girls everywhere until she got married on August 1937 in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, to Thomas H Roulston, the widowed owner of a Brooklyn grocery store chain. She was 48 years old and many of her fans at the time were indignant considering her new status from Miss to Mrs a betrayal.
Educated expensively at a private school for girls, Miss Dana’s in Morristown, New Jersey, Miss Hillis spent a year abroad before going to work for Vogue.
Hillis worked for Vogue for over twenty years, beginning as a captions writer for the pattern book and working her way up to assistant editor of the magazine itself. In 1936 she wrote Live Alone and Like It, the superlative guide for 'bachelor ladies'. Although determined to write a "how-to" book, Miss Hillis was not sure initially exactly what topic she would cover. She found that the “how to please a man” angle had already been pretty well covered, so decided to write about how a women living alone could have a “cheerful life.” The concept was a somewhat shocking one, and Miss Hillis found herself a media sensation. “Sophisticated Miss Hillis honestly believes there are advantages in a husbandless state!" one critic wrote. It was an instant bestseller and was followed by Orchids on Your Budget.
She was the champion of bachelor girls everywhere until she got married on August 1937 in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, to Thomas H Roulston, the widowed owner of a Brooklyn grocery store chain. She was 48 years old and many of her fans at the time were indignant considering her new status from Miss to Mrs a betrayal.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 246 reviews
April 25, 2022
This book is the platonic ideal of 1930's society lady sass. I learned that there are four types of pajamas, and two of these are suitable for entertaining. That alone garners it five stars.
October 16, 2018
Creo que la mejor forma de acercarse a este libro es primero y ante todo teniendo en cuenta la época en la que se escribió: los años 30. Hay muchas cosas en él que hoy día quedan completamente desfasadas, pero eso no impide que se disfrute por lo que es. Es un manual de consejos bastante divertido, irónico y con un mensaje muy positivo sobre lo que implica para una mujer el hecho de vivir sola.
La estructura ha sido lo que más me ha fallado, me ha resultado demasiado esquemática, los capítulos demasiado temáticos. Me habría gustado ver todos los temas que trata integrados y mezclados entre sí, creo que habría hecho el ritmo de lectura más ameno.
La estructura ha sido lo que más me ha fallado, me ha resultado demasiado esquemática, los capítulos demasiado temáticos. Me habría gustado ver todos los temas que trata integrados y mezclados entre sí, creo que habría hecho el ritmo de lectura más ameno.
September 23, 2012
This book was adorable. Pertinent, no nonsense advice to the single lady, as appropriate--for the most part--today as in 1936. The bits about your lady's maid were the only evidence of dating. On the whole, uplifting but also sensible advice for living alone--and exactly what this single girl needed to hear.
September 15, 2022
This 1930s self-help book for single women was a lot of fun, and not as dated as you might expect. Lots of the advice would be great today for "extra" people of both sexes! However, the parts about how delightful it is to have really nice bed jackets for reading the paper in bed, ideally while waited on by a maid who knows the finer points of arranging a breakfast tray remind us that the past is a foreign country.
I alarmed my husband (slightly) by telling him how much I enjoyed this.
I alarmed my husband (slightly) by telling him how much I enjoyed this.
March 23, 2018
This vintage guidebook was written in 1936 for a rather new category of woman: she who is single, working, and self-sufficient.
It's enlightening to look at it within its social context: after the first world war, there was a lot of anxiety about the sudden imbalance between the male and female population. So many men had been killed in the war that many women would never have the chance to marry. Hence, the genesis of the "extra women," a phrase that I find wistful and sad. No one should feel like they are an unneeded surplus number. Of course, this book does a lot to encourage single women to enjoy their lives and not feel sorry for themselves.
Interestingly, republished copies of this book drop that phrase from the title and simply mention the "single woman."
Even though some parts of this book are heavily dated and others funny in an unintended way, I did enjoy the straight talk about how to not be pitiful, how to take control of your own social life and home atmosphere, and how to be a pleasant sort of person.
The funny bits were the parts where I learned that there are FOUR types of pajamas, and TWO of them are suitable for entertaining guests, or the parts that assume that you have access to a maid at least some of the time. Running a home and playing hostess have changed a bit since 1936! Though, to be fair, she was writing to people of a certain social class. I know that not everyone at that time had a maid.
Here are some tidbits I enjoyed for various reasons:
"Everybody feels sorry for herself (to say nothing of himself) now and then. But anyone who pities herself for more than a month on end is a weak sister and likely to become a public nuisance besides."
"You've got to have variety...Every woman should have a smattering of knowledge about practically everything...to listen well you must have at least a vague idea of what the other fellow is talking about...it is both boring and irritating for him to have to adapt his conversation so that you can understand it."
"Practically no one's morale can overcome an outfit that's all wrong."
"As we have already suggested, one of the great secrets of living alone successfully is not to live alone too constantly. A reasonably large circle of friends and enemies whom you can see when you want to, and will often see when you don't want to, is an important asset."
"You probably spend plenty of breakfasts, luncheons, evenings, Sundays, and holidays entertaining yourself. Are you really entertained? Anyone with any gumption can be. The first rule is to have several passionate interests...You should have at least one that keeps you busy at home and another that takes you out."
"Even if your aim is merely to reach an average as an amusing person, you'll need to keep at it....a few discriminating moments spent on the morning paper, a few varied and well-chosen magazines read thoroughly, at least one good book a week, and a reasonable amount of "getting around" should do the trick."
"The civilized place for any woman to have breakfast is in bed...Perhaps you stand on your feet all day in a none too impressive job--be an elegant lady of leisure just the same from, say, seven-forty-five to eight-fifteen. Even though nobody knows, you'll be more of a person the rest of the day." :)
It's enlightening to look at it within its social context: after the first world war, there was a lot of anxiety about the sudden imbalance between the male and female population. So many men had been killed in the war that many women would never have the chance to marry. Hence, the genesis of the "extra women," a phrase that I find wistful and sad. No one should feel like they are an unneeded surplus number. Of course, this book does a lot to encourage single women to enjoy their lives and not feel sorry for themselves.
Interestingly, republished copies of this book drop that phrase from the title and simply mention the "single woman."
Even though some parts of this book are heavily dated and others funny in an unintended way, I did enjoy the straight talk about how to not be pitiful, how to take control of your own social life and home atmosphere, and how to be a pleasant sort of person.
The funny bits were the parts where I learned that there are FOUR types of pajamas, and TWO of them are suitable for entertaining guests, or the parts that assume that you have access to a maid at least some of the time. Running a home and playing hostess have changed a bit since 1936! Though, to be fair, she was writing to people of a certain social class. I know that not everyone at that time had a maid.
Here are some tidbits I enjoyed for various reasons:
"Everybody feels sorry for herself (to say nothing of himself) now and then. But anyone who pities herself for more than a month on end is a weak sister and likely to become a public nuisance besides."
"You've got to have variety...Every woman should have a smattering of knowledge about practically everything...to listen well you must have at least a vague idea of what the other fellow is talking about...it is both boring and irritating for him to have to adapt his conversation so that you can understand it."
"Practically no one's morale can overcome an outfit that's all wrong."
"As we have already suggested, one of the great secrets of living alone successfully is not to live alone too constantly. A reasonably large circle of friends and enemies whom you can see when you want to, and will often see when you don't want to, is an important asset."
"You probably spend plenty of breakfasts, luncheons, evenings, Sundays, and holidays entertaining yourself. Are you really entertained? Anyone with any gumption can be. The first rule is to have several passionate interests...You should have at least one that keeps you busy at home and another that takes you out."
"Even if your aim is merely to reach an average as an amusing person, you'll need to keep at it....a few discriminating moments spent on the morning paper, a few varied and well-chosen magazines read thoroughly, at least one good book a week, and a reasonable amount of "getting around" should do the trick."
"The civilized place for any woman to have breakfast is in bed...Perhaps you stand on your feet all day in a none too impressive job--be an elegant lady of leisure just the same from, say, seven-forty-five to eight-fifteen. Even though nobody knows, you'll be more of a person the rest of the day." :)
November 10, 2024
A self-help book for single ladies in the 1930s. It was a vibe, got a little 😬 when they discussed maids casually assuming you could afford one, overall it’s worth a read. I’m on a self-help rampage, and this was a weirdly refreshing change of scenery, if not a little problematic by the terms of today’s society.
January 21, 2020
En realidad 2,5.
Éste ensayo fue publicado en los años 30, y revaloriza la figura de la mujer y su estilo de vida.
Hay que tener en cuenta que pese a seguir siendo todo un canto a la liberación en nuestros días, muchos de sus aspectos se basan en la sociedad de la época, sus costumbres, sus creencias. Lo quiero dejar claro porque podría criticar muchas cosas.
Cada capítulo, es un consejo diferente sobre cosas que deberían hacer éstas mujeres para disfrutar de su vida independientemente de su situación. Consejos sobre cómo cuidarse, valorarse, no descuidar lo que nos hace sentir felices, la decoración en la casa, la forma de vestir, los amigos o esos pequeños placeres que no podrías darte viviendo con alguien más.
Hay capítulos donde se nota el paso del tiempo, claro, era inevitable. Por ejemplo en el dedicado a las fiestas, porque parece que estés leyendo los diarios de Jay Gatsby. Pero el mensaje es claro: No te sientes a lamentarte ni te creas desdichada. Sal, vive, dedícate tiempo y demuestra al mundo que no eres diferente a todos los demás.
El problema de éste libro es precisamente ese, que la mujer soltera parece necesitar "demostrar" que la va bien, mientras que las casadas o que viven acompañadas pueden ser unas completas desdichadas sin que se las señale con el dedo. No hablemos ya de los hombres, esos imagino que no eran (ni son) juzgados fuera cual fuera su situación sentimental.
Me gusta que alguien pensara en todas esas mujeres que se pueden sentir deprimidas sin motivo alguno, que las pegue un baño de realidad y las diga que pueden seguir siendo felices y llevar una vida pletórica sin necesitar a nadie. Poder comer lo que quieras sin que te controlen, leer hasta las tantas de la noche, ir al teatro, salir de fiesta, mimarte con todos los caprichos que se te antojen.
Creo que es una maravilla que alguien, por aquellos años, pensara en despojarse de los apodos despectivos o la falsa caridad con la que se trata a mujeres solteras o independientes, mientras que un hombre soltero nunca ha estado mal visto. Éste manual ubica bien las prioridades que debe tener toda persona, y especialmente la mujer: No tener miedo a disfrutar de una vida plena.
Asique bueno hay partes que me han cabreado mucho y otras que si, que me han gustado porque te hacen ver la realidad. Es muy cortito asique lo recomiendo.
Éste ensayo fue publicado en los años 30, y revaloriza la figura de la mujer y su estilo de vida.
Hay que tener en cuenta que pese a seguir siendo todo un canto a la liberación en nuestros días, muchos de sus aspectos se basan en la sociedad de la época, sus costumbres, sus creencias. Lo quiero dejar claro porque podría criticar muchas cosas.
Cada capítulo, es un consejo diferente sobre cosas que deberían hacer éstas mujeres para disfrutar de su vida independientemente de su situación. Consejos sobre cómo cuidarse, valorarse, no descuidar lo que nos hace sentir felices, la decoración en la casa, la forma de vestir, los amigos o esos pequeños placeres que no podrías darte viviendo con alguien más.
Hay capítulos donde se nota el paso del tiempo, claro, era inevitable. Por ejemplo en el dedicado a las fiestas, porque parece que estés leyendo los diarios de Jay Gatsby. Pero el mensaje es claro: No te sientes a lamentarte ni te creas desdichada. Sal, vive, dedícate tiempo y demuestra al mundo que no eres diferente a todos los demás.
El problema de éste libro es precisamente ese, que la mujer soltera parece necesitar "demostrar" que la va bien, mientras que las casadas o que viven acompañadas pueden ser unas completas desdichadas sin que se las señale con el dedo. No hablemos ya de los hombres, esos imagino que no eran (ni son) juzgados fuera cual fuera su situación sentimental.
Me gusta que alguien pensara en todas esas mujeres que se pueden sentir deprimidas sin motivo alguno, que las pegue un baño de realidad y las diga que pueden seguir siendo felices y llevar una vida pletórica sin necesitar a nadie. Poder comer lo que quieras sin que te controlen, leer hasta las tantas de la noche, ir al teatro, salir de fiesta, mimarte con todos los caprichos que se te antojen.
Creo que es una maravilla que alguien, por aquellos años, pensara en despojarse de los apodos despectivos o la falsa caridad con la que se trata a mujeres solteras o independientes, mientras que un hombre soltero nunca ha estado mal visto. Éste manual ubica bien las prioridades que debe tener toda persona, y especialmente la mujer: No tener miedo a disfrutar de una vida plena.
Asique bueno hay partes que me han cabreado mucho y otras que si, que me han gustado porque te hacen ver la realidad. Es muy cortito asique lo recomiendo.
April 24, 2019
2.5
Me parece que este libro estuvo perfecto en la época en que fue escrito, 1936, pero para nuestra época es muy conservador y no va acorde a la mujer de hoy.
Me parece que este libro estuvo perfecto en la época en que fue escrito, 1936, pero para nuestra época es muy conservador y no va acorde a la mujer de hoy.
December 13, 2017
When I saw that pairing of publisher and title, my first thought was that this was probably an interesting but worthy tract from the late sixties or early seventies, somewhere around the time that Virago was first born!
Wrong!
This book was written for an earlier generation, back in the 1930s.
It is witty, warm and wise; and its new incarnation, as a little hardback book with a cute pink cover, feels wonderfully right.
It would slip easily into a handbag, and it would be a lovely gift for the right person.
I think that the thing I loved most about this book was the voice.
Imagine a friend who you think is a little bossy, but you know is usually right; and who you are sure has your best interests at heart and will do her level best to help you get up and get back on the right path when life has knocked you sideways. That’s what you have here. Not someone who will do it for you, but someone who will give you the confidence to do it yourself, and who will be the very best kind of cheerleader.
Now when this friend came to write her book, she had the wisdom to know that some are single by choice and that some are not at all happy to be single, and that a lady might be beginning a solo life when young, middle-aged or elderly, and that it might be forever or just for a little while.
Her advice is sound; and now I’m going to paraphrase a little:
* You must enjoy arranging your home and your life just as you like!
* You should know when you need to call on your friends!
* You can pursue your interests and enjoy your leisure!
* You would be wise to think about the etiquette for a single lady in social situations!
* You really can live your life exactly as you want, follow whatever interest you want!
She understands that the single lady needs to know that there are lots of tasty meals she can rustle up for herself, that a single bed really is something to be appreciated, that there are lots of way to entertain guests, and that there are some very effective ways of getting rid of a gentleman caller who lingers for too long.
Her text is peppered with lovely little black and white drawings, and her advices is interspersed with accounts of a wonderful array of single women. Some of them have got things wrong, but the majority have got things right and demonstrate that there so many different ways you can be solo and successful.
There’s little about the duller kind of practicalities. Jobs that need doing round the house, living within your means, finding tradespeople, that kind of thing. This is a book about having style, about having confidence, about living your life to the full!
It’s a period piece, but so much of what it says still holds good, and the only thing that feels out of date is the assumption that you will have a maid.
The voice still speaks clearly, and though I know that one was a real Vogue editor and the other was fictional, I couldn’t help wondering if the author of this book and the Provincial Lady had ever met.
Well, they were contemporaries, and I’m sure each would have been wonderfully entertained by the other!
Wrong!
This book was written for an earlier generation, back in the 1930s.
It is witty, warm and wise; and its new incarnation, as a little hardback book with a cute pink cover, feels wonderfully right.
It would slip easily into a handbag, and it would be a lovely gift for the right person.
I think that the thing I loved most about this book was the voice.
Imagine a friend who you think is a little bossy, but you know is usually right; and who you are sure has your best interests at heart and will do her level best to help you get up and get back on the right path when life has knocked you sideways. That’s what you have here. Not someone who will do it for you, but someone who will give you the confidence to do it yourself, and who will be the very best kind of cheerleader.
Now when this friend came to write her book, she had the wisdom to know that some are single by choice and that some are not at all happy to be single, and that a lady might be beginning a solo life when young, middle-aged or elderly, and that it might be forever or just for a little while.
Her advice is sound; and now I’m going to paraphrase a little:
* You must enjoy arranging your home and your life just as you like!
* You should know when you need to call on your friends!
* You can pursue your interests and enjoy your leisure!
* You would be wise to think about the etiquette for a single lady in social situations!
* You really can live your life exactly as you want, follow whatever interest you want!
She understands that the single lady needs to know that there are lots of tasty meals she can rustle up for herself, that a single bed really is something to be appreciated, that there are lots of way to entertain guests, and that there are some very effective ways of getting rid of a gentleman caller who lingers for too long.
Her text is peppered with lovely little black and white drawings, and her advices is interspersed with accounts of a wonderful array of single women. Some of them have got things wrong, but the majority have got things right and demonstrate that there so many different ways you can be solo and successful.
There’s little about the duller kind of practicalities. Jobs that need doing round the house, living within your means, finding tradespeople, that kind of thing. This is a book about having style, about having confidence, about living your life to the full!
It’s a period piece, but so much of what it says still holds good, and the only thing that feels out of date is the assumption that you will have a maid.
The voice still speaks clearly, and though I know that one was a real Vogue editor and the other was fictional, I couldn’t help wondering if the author of this book and the Provincial Lady had ever met.
Well, they were contemporaries, and I’m sure each would have been wonderfully entertained by the other!
February 26, 2020
In the mid-Thirties popular imagination, the specter of the poor, poor solitary woman (be she widow, divorcee or "spinster"), living alone without a man in the house, was enough to frighten and depress the multitudes. Marjorie Hillis, magazine editor, rode to the rescue in 1936 with this amusing little volume, which was reissued by Virago in 2005. Common-sense options for dressing, dining, entertaining and traveling in modest circumstances -- and knowing one's own mind -- give this work considerable charm, despite the fact that many examples are woefully outdated (the list of the seven most popular liquors includes dry sherry but not vodka). Best of all, the joys of living how and where you want -- and having a bathroom all to yourself -- are gloriously celebrated. Numerous case studies add insight and wit.
A follow-up book was published in 1937: BUBBLY ON YOUR BUDGET.
A follow-up book was published in 1937: BUBBLY ON YOUR BUDGET.
April 17, 2017
It's my new bible.
January 27, 2012
I got this book to review for the Feminist Review blog. I have mixed feelings about this book, and don't know what rating to give it. I wish I could give it two and a half stars, but since I can't, I will give it the benefit of the doubt and give it three stars.
I will post the full review once I write it.
Here's the complete review from
http://feministreview.blogspot.com/20...
Potential readers should know two things about this book. First, the author was an editor for Vogue. Second, it was a bestseller in 1936. Those two facts should hint at for whom it was written and warn that much of it is outdated.
This book’s mixed messages caused me to have mixed feelings about it while reading. On the one hand, it empowers women by telling them they can live alone and not only survive, but also thrive. On the other hand, it implies time and again that any woman living alone is only waiting for something better (a man) to come along.
The most interesting part of this manual is its historical perspective on single women. It is evidence that women did live on their own – even in 1936. Conservative propaganda would have us believe that prior to the tumultuous 1960s, all women were either married, living with relatives, or boarding in some sort of respectable dormitory. This book proves that women were on the road to liberation long before the women’s movement of the 1970s.
Less positive is the class assumption the author makes about “live-aloners” (as single women living by themselves became known after the publication of this book). For example, live-aloners apparently want, need, and are able to afford a maid (sometimes a “colored” maid), at least on occasion. There is no mention of who does the cleaning and serving at the maid’s house if she should happen to live alone. In any case, this maid business shows the target audience is women aspiring to or firmly entrenched in the upper classes.
Equally problematic are assertions made about men, especially regarding money. “There are still a few chivalrous gentlemen who believe that the man should be the provider,” the author states on page 101, and “the men guests always pay” for taxis to and from the theater, even when the single woman does the inviting, she says on page 46. Such ideas may have been prevalent sixty years ago, but hardly seem productive or true in the twenty-first century.
Sure, some to the advice given in this book is helpful: Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Make your home pleasant and comfortable. Have several passionate interests. Friends are important. Live within your means. Save some money. However, this advice seems helpful to most human being, whether female or male, single or married, living alone or with other people.
Practical and specific guidance for women wanting to learn how to be content living alone would have been more useful. Truly helpful topics might include securing doors and windows against intruders, repairing clogged plumbing, negotiating with a landlord, and recognizing symptoms that indicate it’s time to see the doctor. Instead, the reader is advised to invite people over who live in worse places than she does, told how many negligees and bed-jackets a woman living alone should own (two and four, respectively), and counseled that a woman who is too sick “to fix yourself up” is “better off in a small hospital ward” than home alone. This advice is useless to most contemporary women who live solo.
I don’t understand why this book was reprinted. Most of the advice beyond basics that apply to nearly everyone seems impractical and obsolete. I can only suggest this book to people who want to have a good laugh and then contemplate how far women who live by themselves have come.
I will post the full review once I write it.
Here's the complete review from
http://feministreview.blogspot.com/20...
Potential readers should know two things about this book. First, the author was an editor for Vogue. Second, it was a bestseller in 1936. Those two facts should hint at for whom it was written and warn that much of it is outdated.
This book’s mixed messages caused me to have mixed feelings about it while reading. On the one hand, it empowers women by telling them they can live alone and not only survive, but also thrive. On the other hand, it implies time and again that any woman living alone is only waiting for something better (a man) to come along.
The most interesting part of this manual is its historical perspective on single women. It is evidence that women did live on their own – even in 1936. Conservative propaganda would have us believe that prior to the tumultuous 1960s, all women were either married, living with relatives, or boarding in some sort of respectable dormitory. This book proves that women were on the road to liberation long before the women’s movement of the 1970s.
Less positive is the class assumption the author makes about “live-aloners” (as single women living by themselves became known after the publication of this book). For example, live-aloners apparently want, need, and are able to afford a maid (sometimes a “colored” maid), at least on occasion. There is no mention of who does the cleaning and serving at the maid’s house if she should happen to live alone. In any case, this maid business shows the target audience is women aspiring to or firmly entrenched in the upper classes.
Equally problematic are assertions made about men, especially regarding money. “There are still a few chivalrous gentlemen who believe that the man should be the provider,” the author states on page 101, and “the men guests always pay” for taxis to and from the theater, even when the single woman does the inviting, she says on page 46. Such ideas may have been prevalent sixty years ago, but hardly seem productive or true in the twenty-first century.
Sure, some to the advice given in this book is helpful: Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Make your home pleasant and comfortable. Have several passionate interests. Friends are important. Live within your means. Save some money. However, this advice seems helpful to most human being, whether female or male, single or married, living alone or with other people.
Practical and specific guidance for women wanting to learn how to be content living alone would have been more useful. Truly helpful topics might include securing doors and windows against intruders, repairing clogged plumbing, negotiating with a landlord, and recognizing symptoms that indicate it’s time to see the doctor. Instead, the reader is advised to invite people over who live in worse places than she does, told how many negligees and bed-jackets a woman living alone should own (two and four, respectively), and counseled that a woman who is too sick “to fix yourself up” is “better off in a small hospital ward” than home alone. This advice is useless to most contemporary women who live solo.
I don’t understand why this book was reprinted. Most of the advice beyond basics that apply to nearly everyone seems impractical and obsolete. I can only suggest this book to people who want to have a good laugh and then contemplate how far women who live by themselves have come.
June 29, 2018
Można z tej książki wyłuskać kilka ciekawych patentów na walkę z poczuciem osamotnienia, kilka dokumentalnych detali o życiu w dużych amerykańskich miastach w latach 30., kilka porad na temat podejmowania gości i kilka uwag o tym, jak sprawić, by być interesującą dla innych ludzi, ale trzeba pamiętać, że jest to głównie dokument.
Garść cytatów:
„Powinnaś mieć przynajmniej jedno hobby, które cię zatrzyma w domu, i jedno, które cię z niego wyciągnie.”
„Przyjaciele bardzo wysoko będą sobie cenić takie hobby jak astrologia, numerologia, chiromancja, grafologia, wróżenie z kart i tak dalej. Jeśli jesteś w którejś z tych dziedzin specjalistką, to pamiętaj, że gdy podczas seansu poświęcisz drugiej osobie całą swoją uwagę, to będzie ona tobą zafascynowana… Pamiętaj jednak, że takie hobby będzie znacznie ciekawsze dla twych przyjaciół niż dla ciebie.”
„…kobieta, która próbuje zaimponować wymyślnymi koktajlami, jest jeszcze gorsza niż ta, która dodaje słodkie pianki do sałatki."
"Old-fashioned: Przeznacz jedną szklankę na osobę. Wrzuć do każdej szklanki kostkę cukru, dodaj parę kropli angostury, odrobinkę wody i rozgnieć cukier. Dorzuć plasterek pomarańczy, cytryny, pasek świeżego ananasa i wisienkę koktajlową. Dodaj miarkę whisky żytniej i napełnij szklanki lodem. Do każdej szklanki dodaj pałeczkę do koktajli, i niech goście się dobrze bawią." - swoją popularnosć old-fashioned zawdzięczał między innymi temu, że był drinkiem do spokojnego popijania nawet przez cały wieczór, więc mimo wielości składników był opcją dosyć ekonomiczną dla gospodarzy.
"Oczywiście cywilizowanym miejscem, w którym kobieta winna zjeść śniadanie, jest łóżko (...) Trik polega na tym, żeby wypracować sobie system, dzięki któremu stanie przed tobą, na kolorowej tacy, szklanka – duża i ładna, nie jakaś tam zwyczajna – pełna schłodzonego soku pomarańczowego, kubek dobrej parującej kawy i gorąca grzanka przyrządzona tak jak lubisz, z odrobiną marmolady albo miodu."
Garść cytatów:
„Powinnaś mieć przynajmniej jedno hobby, które cię zatrzyma w domu, i jedno, które cię z niego wyciągnie.”
„Przyjaciele bardzo wysoko będą sobie cenić takie hobby jak astrologia, numerologia, chiromancja, grafologia, wróżenie z kart i tak dalej. Jeśli jesteś w którejś z tych dziedzin specjalistką, to pamiętaj, że gdy podczas seansu poświęcisz drugiej osobie całą swoją uwagę, to będzie ona tobą zafascynowana… Pamiętaj jednak, że takie hobby będzie znacznie ciekawsze dla twych przyjaciół niż dla ciebie.”
„…kobieta, która próbuje zaimponować wymyślnymi koktajlami, jest jeszcze gorsza niż ta, która dodaje słodkie pianki do sałatki."
"Old-fashioned: Przeznacz jedną szklankę na osobę. Wrzuć do każdej szklanki kostkę cukru, dodaj parę kropli angostury, odrobinkę wody i rozgnieć cukier. Dorzuć plasterek pomarańczy, cytryny, pasek świeżego ananasa i wisienkę koktajlową. Dodaj miarkę whisky żytniej i napełnij szklanki lodem. Do każdej szklanki dodaj pałeczkę do koktajli, i niech goście się dobrze bawią." - swoją popularnosć old-fashioned zawdzięczał między innymi temu, że był drinkiem do spokojnego popijania nawet przez cały wieczór, więc mimo wielości składników był opcją dosyć ekonomiczną dla gospodarzy.
"Oczywiście cywilizowanym miejscem, w którym kobieta winna zjeść śniadanie, jest łóżko (...) Trik polega na tym, żeby wypracować sobie system, dzięki któremu stanie przed tobą, na kolorowej tacy, szklanka – duża i ładna, nie jakaś tam zwyczajna – pełna schłodzonego soku pomarańczowego, kubek dobrej parującej kawy i gorąca grzanka przyrządzona tak jak lubisz, z odrobiną marmolady albo miodu."
April 26, 2020
I feel adequately admonished by Hillis who seems like the hip, cool and sassy aunt we always hear about. Overall a splendid book - with hilarious tidbits and inspiring advice with treasures like:
"But anyone who pities herself for more than a month on end is a weak sister and likely to
become a public nuisance besides"
"The idea is to do it yourself – and to do it first. But to do it well, you’ll need at least two things: a
mental picture of yourself as a gay and independent person, and spunk enough to get the picture
across to the other person."
"You probably have, at least, a fourth cousin to look up or a few letters to present. If not, there
are always business women’s organizations, dancing classes, literary courses, political clubs,
churches, Y.W.C.A.s, poetry groups, bridge lessons, musical circles, skating clubs, riding-classes,
college-extension courses, and what-not. Be a Communist, a stamp collector, or a Ladies’ Aid
worker if you must, but for heaven’s sake, be something."
"If you read the statistics, you will find that you spend such a large proportion of your life lying
down that it scarcely seems worth the trouble to get up at all."
"But anyone who pities herself for more than a month on end is a weak sister and likely to
become a public nuisance besides"
"The idea is to do it yourself – and to do it first. But to do it well, you’ll need at least two things: a
mental picture of yourself as a gay and independent person, and spunk enough to get the picture
across to the other person."
"You probably have, at least, a fourth cousin to look up or a few letters to present. If not, there
are always business women’s organizations, dancing classes, literary courses, political clubs,
churches, Y.W.C.A.s, poetry groups, bridge lessons, musical circles, skating clubs, riding-classes,
college-extension courses, and what-not. Be a Communist, a stamp collector, or a Ladies’ Aid
worker if you must, but for heaven’s sake, be something."
"If you read the statistics, you will find that you spend such a large proportion of your life lying
down that it scarcely seems worth the trouble to get up at all."
September 24, 2019
I am inspired but more importantly I have found my gumption. To better hobbies, linens and beaus. Nuffsaid.
April 22, 2024
"Tienes que decidir qué tipo de vida quieres y luego crearla para ti misma. "
Durante mucho tiempo se ha considerado que vivir sin compañía es una especie de castigo pero la autora retoma el tema y, a través de las páginas de este divertido libro, brinda tanto consejos como historias de mujeres que viven solas.
Lo primero que aborda es la actitud. Definitivamente, la actitud con la que se inicia o se afronta cualquier situación es determinante de como se vivirá. A continuación, da consejos en cosas como el ahorro, la comida o los pasatiempos.
Es un libro muy ligero y útil que me permitió ver algunos temas desde otra perspectiva.
Por un momento dudé en leerlo por un par de comentarios negativos pero la curiosidad y el estilo de la autora me convencieron. A pesar de haberse escrito hace casi cien años atrás es muy vigente.
Un libro que recomiendo ampliamente, tanto para hombres como para mujeres.
Durante mucho tiempo se ha considerado que vivir sin compañía es una especie de castigo pero la autora retoma el tema y, a través de las páginas de este divertido libro, brinda tanto consejos como historias de mujeres que viven solas.
Lo primero que aborda es la actitud. Definitivamente, la actitud con la que se inicia o se afronta cualquier situación es determinante de como se vivirá. A continuación, da consejos en cosas como el ahorro, la comida o los pasatiempos.
Es un libro muy ligero y útil que me permitió ver algunos temas desde otra perspectiva.
Por un momento dudé en leerlo por un par de comentarios negativos pero la curiosidad y el estilo de la autora me convencieron. A pesar de haberse escrito hace casi cien años atrás es muy vigente.
Un libro que recomiendo ampliamente, tanto para hombres como para mujeres.
May 2, 2020
«Este asunto de hacerlo todo por ti misma tal vez te parezca deprimente, en especial si tienes una mentalidad anticuada y te consideras todavía perteneciente al Sexo Débil. Pero en realidad no lo es. Puedes —dentro de los límites impuestos en la mayoría de nosotras, vivamos solas o en hordas— tener la vida que quieras»
Es un libro muy bueno, curiosísimo, aunque hay que leerlo consciente de la época en la que se escribió, y no podemos ignorar que fue publicado por primera vez en 1936.
La autora brinda una serie de consejos y opiniones acerca de cómo manejar aspectos económicos, sociales, estéticos y morales, para las mujeres que lograron conseguir su independencia.
Además, nos deja ver muchos casos a manera de ejemplos, unos que considera positivos y otros que plantea como negativos.
Me parece una obra que sin dudas fue revolucionaria cuando vió la luz, que sin dudas sirvió de gran ayuda para muchas personas, a manera de guía y apoyo.
El culto que se le brinda a la privacidad, al cuidado personal por puro amor propio y a la autocomplacencia es algo que es digno de apreciación, y lo que me deja un buen sabor de esta obra: te enseña a disfrutarte, a hacer todo lo que quieras y sientas que debes hacer. Te enseña a amarte, a cuidarte, a quererte y disfrutar de tu femineidad. No significa que todas tengamos que disfrutarlo de la misma manera, por eso es que no debemos tomar todo el libro literalmente.
Más allá de que algunos consejos son algo anticuados, otros que sin dudas son rasgos de una sociedad de apariencias, hay unos que sí son muy buenos, y que son aprovechables para todas las mujeres de cualquier cultura o tiempo.
«Cuanto más disfrutas de ti misma, más te conviertes en una persona real»
Es un libro muy bueno, curiosísimo, aunque hay que leerlo consciente de la época en la que se escribió, y no podemos ignorar que fue publicado por primera vez en 1936.
La autora brinda una serie de consejos y opiniones acerca de cómo manejar aspectos económicos, sociales, estéticos y morales, para las mujeres que lograron conseguir su independencia.
Además, nos deja ver muchos casos a manera de ejemplos, unos que considera positivos y otros que plantea como negativos.
Me parece una obra que sin dudas fue revolucionaria cuando vió la luz, que sin dudas sirvió de gran ayuda para muchas personas, a manera de guía y apoyo.
El culto que se le brinda a la privacidad, al cuidado personal por puro amor propio y a la autocomplacencia es algo que es digno de apreciación, y lo que me deja un buen sabor de esta obra: te enseña a disfrutarte, a hacer todo lo que quieras y sientas que debes hacer. Te enseña a amarte, a cuidarte, a quererte y disfrutar de tu femineidad. No significa que todas tengamos que disfrutarlo de la misma manera, por eso es que no debemos tomar todo el libro literalmente.
Más allá de que algunos consejos son algo anticuados, otros que sin dudas son rasgos de una sociedad de apariencias, hay unos que sí son muy buenos, y que son aprovechables para todas las mujeres de cualquier cultura o tiempo.
«Cuanto más disfrutas de ti misma, más te conviertes en una persona real»
October 14, 2018
NOTA: 4/5
En algunos puntos queda algo desfasado, pero hay mucha verdad entre sus páginas.
Antes de empezar necesitáis poneros en contexto. Marjorie Hillis era una autora americana de los años 30 conocida por escribir artículos para mujeres independientes en revistas como Vogue. Posteriormente, escribió El placer de vivir sola; un manual para sobrevivir con éxito a la vida casera en solitario.
Lo que más me ha gustado ha sido la forma en como está planteado; dividido por temas y con casos que ejemplifican aquello que nos está contando, tanto unos que aplican bien sus consejos como otros que no lo hacen de la forma correcta. Además, incluso hay varios capítulos de preguntas y respuestas que estoy segura de que en su momento era mucho más útil, ya que, en unas líneas te resolvía un aspecto en concreto.
Aquellos puntos que más me han llamado la atención son el de buscarse un hobby o varios, incluso ir cambiando según tus ánimos. Esto es útil para salir de casa, para conocer gente y lo más importante para aprender algo nuevo que te puede servir más tarde para socializar, ya que, te va a convertir en una persona más interesante con la que poder hablar de algo que te apasiona o no. Sin olvidar que el saber no ocupa lugar; estar en constante aprendizaje es bueno aunque sea de los temas más dispares.
Ligado con este aspecto, me ha gustado como afronta el tema de socializar con los demás. Ella defiende que está bien ser una persona casera, pero que es bueno explorar y salir; y más si vives sola. Y me ha gustado también el contrapunto, es tan importante socializar como tener tiempo a solas; tiempo para ti, para relajarte, para leer, para mirar el techo, para estar contigo misma.
También me ha parecido muy interesante el punto de como vestir en casa. Yo soy de aquellas personas que nada más entrar por la puerta de casa, no es que me ponga el pijama, pero si ropa de casa, ropa extremadamente cómoda. Y me he dado cuenta estos días que me cambia totalmente el mood a nada productiva y teniendo en cuenta que estoy estudiando y trabajando desde casa es poco conveniente. Marjorie Hillis no defiende la ropa para ir por casa, ella argumenta que hay que vestirse para salir todos los días aunque no tengas previsto salir.
Para terminar y no destriparos el libro entero, me ha encantado el capítulo dedicado al ahorro, aunque ella misma diga que es un tema aburrido y que nos lo podemos saltar. Creo que es una forma muy gráfica de decir que esta muy bien salir, tener ocio, comprarse ropa o lo que sea, pero que hay otros gastos importantes. Viene a decir que no sirve de nada un ir dos veces al cine por semana y comprarse tres conjuntos de ropa al mes si luego los últimas días no puedes comer.
He disfrutado de la lectura, me ha resultado muy interesante en muchos aspectos y aunque es cierto que en algunos puntos queda algo desfasado hay mucha verdad entre sus páginas. Creo que es una lectura interesante, no tanto para vivir solas, ya que, con los precios es un poco complicado ahora mismo; pero si para ser una chica independiente.
El placer de vivir sola son sirve de manual para ser unas chicas independientes. Nos sirve de base para cambiar nuestro modo de pensar y hacerlo más eficaz en todos los aspectos de nuestra vida.
Más reseñas en Barcelona n' Books: http://barcelonanbooks.blogspot.com.e...
En algunos puntos queda algo desfasado, pero hay mucha verdad entre sus páginas.
Antes de empezar necesitáis poneros en contexto. Marjorie Hillis era una autora americana de los años 30 conocida por escribir artículos para mujeres independientes en revistas como Vogue. Posteriormente, escribió El placer de vivir sola; un manual para sobrevivir con éxito a la vida casera en solitario.
Lo que más me ha gustado ha sido la forma en como está planteado; dividido por temas y con casos que ejemplifican aquello que nos está contando, tanto unos que aplican bien sus consejos como otros que no lo hacen de la forma correcta. Además, incluso hay varios capítulos de preguntas y respuestas que estoy segura de que en su momento era mucho más útil, ya que, en unas líneas te resolvía un aspecto en concreto.
Aquellos puntos que más me han llamado la atención son el de buscarse un hobby o varios, incluso ir cambiando según tus ánimos. Esto es útil para salir de casa, para conocer gente y lo más importante para aprender algo nuevo que te puede servir más tarde para socializar, ya que, te va a convertir en una persona más interesante con la que poder hablar de algo que te apasiona o no. Sin olvidar que el saber no ocupa lugar; estar en constante aprendizaje es bueno aunque sea de los temas más dispares.
Ligado con este aspecto, me ha gustado como afronta el tema de socializar con los demás. Ella defiende que está bien ser una persona casera, pero que es bueno explorar y salir; y más si vives sola. Y me ha gustado también el contrapunto, es tan importante socializar como tener tiempo a solas; tiempo para ti, para relajarte, para leer, para mirar el techo, para estar contigo misma.
También me ha parecido muy interesante el punto de como vestir en casa. Yo soy de aquellas personas que nada más entrar por la puerta de casa, no es que me ponga el pijama, pero si ropa de casa, ropa extremadamente cómoda. Y me he dado cuenta estos días que me cambia totalmente el mood a nada productiva y teniendo en cuenta que estoy estudiando y trabajando desde casa es poco conveniente. Marjorie Hillis no defiende la ropa para ir por casa, ella argumenta que hay que vestirse para salir todos los días aunque no tengas previsto salir.
Para terminar y no destriparos el libro entero, me ha encantado el capítulo dedicado al ahorro, aunque ella misma diga que es un tema aburrido y que nos lo podemos saltar. Creo que es una forma muy gráfica de decir que esta muy bien salir, tener ocio, comprarse ropa o lo que sea, pero que hay otros gastos importantes. Viene a decir que no sirve de nada un ir dos veces al cine por semana y comprarse tres conjuntos de ropa al mes si luego los últimas días no puedes comer.
He disfrutado de la lectura, me ha resultado muy interesante en muchos aspectos y aunque es cierto que en algunos puntos queda algo desfasado hay mucha verdad entre sus páginas. Creo que es una lectura interesante, no tanto para vivir solas, ya que, con los precios es un poco complicado ahora mismo; pero si para ser una chica independiente.
El placer de vivir sola son sirve de manual para ser unas chicas independientes. Nos sirve de base para cambiar nuestro modo de pensar y hacerlo más eficaz en todos los aspectos de nuestra vida.
Más reseñas en Barcelona n' Books: http://barcelonanbooks.blogspot.com.e...
February 21, 2015
I couldn't resist picking up a first edition of this book for far too much at that charming new shop at 21st and Valencia where people were two-stepping in the back and everything (including this book) was covered in sawdust. But I am not an "extra woman" living alone on $100 a month (yes, this book does include actual sample budgets from the year 1936!), so I bought it.
It is really an historical document, and made me think things were actually pretty far along in 1936 (at least in New York, although the author implies that there are single women in mid-sized cities across the country). Some of the advice is typical for its time (develop interests in order to be interesting), some before its time ("You will be able to eat what, when, and where you please, even dinner served on a tray on the living-room couch--one of the higher forms of enjoyment which the masculine mind had not yet learned to appreciate" [this, mind you, is before TV]), and most highly amusing. Ms. Hillis generously recommends the pleasures of eating, talking on the phone, and entertaining in bed. The chapter on "A Lady and Her Liquor" is the longest, most practical, and probably the most funny, but unfortunately out of date (no mention of vodka). The chapter on "Will You or Won't You?" the most unuseful, especially its advice that whichever you choose, you shouldn't tell anyone.
A word of warning: this book would make an amusing gift for the girl who just got out of a bad relationship, but I wouldn't recommend it for your long-single friend.
(P.S. The last two pages of my copy were uncut!)
It is really an historical document, and made me think things were actually pretty far along in 1936 (at least in New York, although the author implies that there are single women in mid-sized cities across the country). Some of the advice is typical for its time (develop interests in order to be interesting), some before its time ("You will be able to eat what, when, and where you please, even dinner served on a tray on the living-room couch--one of the higher forms of enjoyment which the masculine mind had not yet learned to appreciate" [this, mind you, is before TV]), and most highly amusing. Ms. Hillis generously recommends the pleasures of eating, talking on the phone, and entertaining in bed. The chapter on "A Lady and Her Liquor" is the longest, most practical, and probably the most funny, but unfortunately out of date (no mention of vodka). The chapter on "Will You or Won't You?" the most unuseful, especially its advice that whichever you choose, you shouldn't tell anyone.
A word of warning: this book would make an amusing gift for the girl who just got out of a bad relationship, but I wouldn't recommend it for your long-single friend.
(P.S. The last two pages of my copy were uncut!)
May 6, 2008
sounds like a self-help book, and in a way, I suppose it is. But it's so much more. . .
I found this book quite by accident--on a bargain shelf at an indy store in Asheville. I was travelling with a friend and we decicded it was too fun to pass up. We spent the next few days reading bits and pieces of it to each other and were soon referring to Marjorie regularly. For instance, I was debating about buying a dress, and Adrienne insisted that Marjorie would demand that I buy it. So I bought it.
At any rate, I finished it this week. First published in 1936, it certainly smacks of a social history time capsule. And yet. . .
Marjorie is all about figuring out ways to make yourself happy. She believes that we shouldn't rely on others for that happiness, but on ourselves. And unlike some "being single" books that have been forced into my hands by well meaning friends, this one doesn't talk about being single like it's a bad thing. She has wit and humor and charm, and I just love Marjorie. It's one of those books that I want to share with everyone, but there's no way in h*?* I'm going to let my copy out of my house.
I found this book quite by accident--on a bargain shelf at an indy store in Asheville. I was travelling with a friend and we decicded it was too fun to pass up. We spent the next few days reading bits and pieces of it to each other and were soon referring to Marjorie regularly. For instance, I was debating about buying a dress, and Adrienne insisted that Marjorie would demand that I buy it. So I bought it.
At any rate, I finished it this week. First published in 1936, it certainly smacks of a social history time capsule. And yet. . .
Marjorie is all about figuring out ways to make yourself happy. She believes that we shouldn't rely on others for that happiness, but on ourselves. And unlike some "being single" books that have been forced into my hands by well meaning friends, this one doesn't talk about being single like it's a bad thing. She has wit and humor and charm, and I just love Marjorie. It's one of those books that I want to share with everyone, but there's no way in h*?* I'm going to let my copy out of my house.
May 13, 2013
If someone had told me a few months ago what book I was going to read today, I would have laughed myself to death. This is so far from my taste in books it's unreal. Generally speaking I of course get a lot of fun out of those old-fashioned etiquette rules and advice for women (thanks Retronaut for the many laughs), but reading an actual book on those topics wouldn't have crossed my mind. However, when I stumbled across Hillis's book a while back, it just looked so cute and endearing, that I had to add it on my to read -list. I also understood that it's apparently not a guide book on how to snatch a good husband and therefore getting rid of the ugly single-status, which apparently was a huge problem back then.
There's a couple of main thoughts that Hillis repeats every once in a while: money does not equal good taste, you don't need a big pay check to organize your life into a nice one, and it's ok to pamper yourself even though there's no one to see your lace nightgown. The advice are gentle but firm, but Hillis emphasizes, that in the end everyone does what they think is best. You can ignore all her advice, but if you sit alone in your apartment all day long, don't complain that you're bored and without friends. The book also takes on account that living alone may not have been your choice, for example if you've gotten divorced. Hillis says that the intention of her book is to encourage women to embrace their situation, but not to defend living alone as the best option. You get to do what you want when you want, but you still don't have to suffer loneliness if you just take the bull by the horns, and go out the door with an open mind.
There are only a few things that reveal the publishing year, like mentions on etiquette and clothing. A Lady and Her Liquor -chapter was fun. Apparently Martini, Manhattan, and (familiar for Mad Men -fans) Old-fashioned were the drinks that everyone should have known how to make. There was some of the conception that women should dress elegantly, which doesn't really apply today. However, Hillis's advice are mostly quite general, so a modern woman can still get at least something out of them without having to be a career woman in 1930s New York.
I smiled, when I noticed two things that apply to my life quite well: the apartment doesn't have to be messy, even though outsiders aren't there to see it everyday; you can eat well even if you're alone and feel like eating convenience foods in the kitchen straight from the boxes. No huge revelations, but still a fun and light read.
There's a couple of main thoughts that Hillis repeats every once in a while: money does not equal good taste, you don't need a big pay check to organize your life into a nice one, and it's ok to pamper yourself even though there's no one to see your lace nightgown. The advice are gentle but firm, but Hillis emphasizes, that in the end everyone does what they think is best. You can ignore all her advice, but if you sit alone in your apartment all day long, don't complain that you're bored and without friends. The book also takes on account that living alone may not have been your choice, for example if you've gotten divorced. Hillis says that the intention of her book is to encourage women to embrace their situation, but not to defend living alone as the best option. You get to do what you want when you want, but you still don't have to suffer loneliness if you just take the bull by the horns, and go out the door with an open mind.
There are only a few things that reveal the publishing year, like mentions on etiquette and clothing. A Lady and Her Liquor -chapter was fun. Apparently Martini, Manhattan, and (familiar for Mad Men -fans) Old-fashioned were the drinks that everyone should have known how to make. There was some of the conception that women should dress elegantly, which doesn't really apply today. However, Hillis's advice are mostly quite general, so a modern woman can still get at least something out of them without having to be a career woman in 1930s New York.
I smiled, when I noticed two things that apply to my life quite well: the apartment doesn't have to be messy, even though outsiders aren't there to see it everyday; you can eat well even if you're alone and feel like eating convenience foods in the kitchen straight from the boxes. No huge revelations, but still a fun and light read.
October 15, 2019
Huuummm... No sé cómo valorar este libro. Es un material curioso, una especie de “guía de supervivencia” para mujeres que vivían solas en los años treinta. Me ha entretenido en la medida en que te enseña cosas sobre una época y hay algunas ideas que debieron ser controvertidas y valientes (como decirle a las mujeres que no necesitan un hombre y que lo más importante es tener buenas amigas ¡ojalá mis abuelas hubieran tenido esa crucial enseñanza!) pero la ideología general sigue siendo profundamente machista y clasista y cuesta leerlo sin poner los ojos en blanco cada dos por tres (la apariencia, tanto física como de clase, sigue siendo una de las cosas más recomendadas a lo largo del libro para que una mujer tenga éxito).
También te digo que si te lees cualquier artículo actual de una revista de tendencias tipo Cosmopolitan, te vas a encontrar perlas parecidas.
Curioso, sin más.
También te digo que si te lees cualquier artículo actual de una revista de tendencias tipo Cosmopolitan, te vas a encontrar perlas parecidas.
Curioso, sin más.
August 11, 2024
Look, I'm a simple girl. This book was really charming in a 1936 kind of way and came at a great time in my life. I'll just leave you with the Contents section.
Chapter One
Solitary Refinement
Chapter Two
Who Do You Think You Are?
Chapter Three
When A Lady Needs A Friend
Chapter Four
Etiquette For A Lone Woman
Chapter Five
Your Leisure, If Any
Chapter Six
Setting For A Solo Act
Chapter Seven
Pleasures Of A Single Bed
Chapter Eight
Will You Or Won't You
Chapter Nine
A Lady And Her Liquor
Chapter Ten
The Great Uniter
Chapter Eleven
You'd Better Skip This One
Chapter Twelve
More Etiquette For An Extra Woman
Chapter One
Solitary Refinement
Chapter Two
Who Do You Think You Are?
Chapter Three
When A Lady Needs A Friend
Chapter Four
Etiquette For A Lone Woman
Chapter Five
Your Leisure, If Any
Chapter Six
Setting For A Solo Act
Chapter Seven
Pleasures Of A Single Bed
Chapter Eight
Will You Or Won't You
Chapter Nine
A Lady And Her Liquor
Chapter Ten
The Great Uniter
Chapter Eleven
You'd Better Skip This One
Chapter Twelve
More Etiquette For An Extra Woman
March 25, 2023
The advice in this is so good. It's indispensable. The voice is tough love yet empathetic and funny: "Don’t worry if you find yourself being a bit of a bore on some of your hobbies. Everybody is occasionally a bore to at least some of his friends. The most brilliant scientists are not entertaining to most ladies, nor do the most brilliant ladies always amuse the scientists. And hasn’t your mind wandered when even your most fascinating beau talked about stocks and bonds and you wanted him to talk about you? But when you get to the stage of ‘holding forth,’ you will at least fascinate yourself..." I have never heard anything better in my entire life. Every paragraph had me like "so true bestie and thank you for pointing it out!"
April 8, 2017
"Think of all the things that you, alone, don't have to do. You don't have to turn out your light when you want to read, because somebody else wants to sleep. You don't have to have the light on when you want to sleep, because somebody else wants to read. You don't have to...lie awake listening to snores, or be vivacious when you're tired, or cheerful when you're blue, or sympathetic when you're bored. You probably have your bathroom all go yourself too, which is unquestionably one of Life's Great Blessings...From dusk until dawn, you can do exactly as you please, which, after all, is a pretty good allotment in this world where a lot of conforming is expected of everyone."
October 10, 2019
The title is good but expect to be disappointed unless you are the kind of woman who reads Vogue or Cosmopolitan magazine and you like a breathless writing style combined with a pretentious attitude. This book was originally published in 1936 by a Vogue editor and it reeks of privilege, condescending to ordinary women. In this book single women are "extra women" who are considered extra trouble because there is no man to take care of them. This is presented matter-of-factly, without objection to the whole concept. Single women are supposed to accept this position and work around it.
Down-to-earth feminists are unlikely to appreciate the alleged wit and wisdom of this book.
Down-to-earth feminists are unlikely to appreciate the alleged wit and wisdom of this book.
July 28, 2013
Returned the book to the library, unfinished :D
This book was so old fashion, and from the 60 pages I read, I felt it was full of repetitions.
I guess the main idea was that people won't feel sorry/bad for you if you're living alone, and YOU are the one who has to go the extra mile to mingle with people so you wouldn't get bored. So obvious, I think!
This book was so old fashion, and from the 60 pages I read, I felt it was full of repetitions.
I guess the main idea was that people won't feel sorry/bad for you if you're living alone, and YOU are the one who has to go the extra mile to mingle with people so you wouldn't get bored. So obvious, I think!
September 23, 2018
Ha sido una lectura muy agradable, divertida e inspiradora.
Es un libro que en muchas ocasiones nos resalta que, ante todo, debemos cuidarnos para nosotras mismas y no hay excusas que valgan.
Ah, por último, hay que tener en cuenta en qué época se escribió este libro antes de criticarlo, que me veo venir los comentarios xD
Es un libro que en muchas ocasiones nos resalta que, ante todo, debemos cuidarnos para nosotras mismas y no hay excusas que valgan.
Ah, por último, hay que tener en cuenta en qué época se escribió este libro antes de criticarlo, que me veo venir los comentarios xD
December 1, 2018
Naprosto geniální a s osvěžujícím nadhledem psaná knížka, u které se člověk zasměje, ale i zamyslí. Lehké, svěží, čtivé, elegantní jednohubka, doporučuju:-)
September 28, 2023
Básicamente es una guía para romantizar tu vida al extremo siendo una mujer soltera en los años 30, adoro. Obviamente hay muchísima mierda capitalista y machista, pero como concepto: un 10 para la época oye. Este libro les estaba diciendo que podían ser solteras y felices sin un hombre de por medio, además de ofrecerles la posibilidad de no sentirse culpables por no tener marido (rechazo a la figura de la solterona).
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