What do you think?
Rate this book
Brutally Honest
The tell-all memoir from the loudest, proudest Spice Girl – and the truth behind the headlines
As one-fifth of the iconic Spice Girls and judge on X Factor and America's Got Talent, Melanie Brown, a.k.a Scary Spice, has been an international star since her twenties. Brutally Honest is an exposé of the struggles and acute pain that lay behind the glamour and success. With deep personal insight, remarkable frankness and trademark Yorkshire humour, the book removes the mask of fame and reveals the true story behind the Spice Girls, as well as the horror of her most recent marriage and her 10 year struggle to be free.
As one-fifth of the iconic Spice Girls and judge on X Factor and America's Got Talent, Melanie Brown, a.k.a Scary Spice, has been an international star since her twenties. Brutally Honest is an exposé of the struggles and acute pain that lay behind the glamour and success. With deep personal insight, remarkable frankness and trademark Yorkshire humour, the book removes the mask of fame and reveals the true story behind the Spice Girls, as well as the horror of her most recent marriage and her 10 year struggle to be free.
301 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 27, 2018
513 people are currently reading
3298 people want to read
About the author
Melanie Brown
2 books26 followersMelanie Janine Brown (born 29 May 1975, known as Melanie B and Mel B) is an English singer, actress, author and television personality. She rose to fame in the 1990s as a member of the girl group Spice Girls, in which she was nicknamed Scary Spice. With over 100 million records sold worldwide, the group became the best-selling female group of all time.
Abridged from Wikipedia.
Abridged from Wikipedia.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 525 reviews
April 28, 2019
Mel B, Scary Spice, her of the leopard print catsuit and loud mouth, has certainly had a tough few years. I’d heard a lot of the rumours surrounding her infamous marriage breakdown to then husband Stephen Belafonte, and the rift with her family, but quite honestly I didn’t expect her to be quite so upfront about what really went on behind those closed doors for ten years. This really is brutally honest, and I admire the courage and strength that it must have taken for her to put this all to paper. The emotional abuse she had to deal with (and her children had to deal with) is awful, and you can feel that pain written in every word. At her worst she was a shell of her former self, locked in a battle with drugs and alcohol to try and block out her life.
This is a book primarily about Mel’s relationships with men. If you’re looking for memories of her time with the Spice Girls, this isn’t the book for you (although they are mentioned, and it’s a joy to read when they are). It’s squarely focused on all the men who’ve made an impact on her life, starting with her father, through to Jimmy her first husband, Eddie Murphy (the supposed ‘love of her life’) and, of course, Stephen. She discusses what she feels caused her to pick the worst kind of man imaginable, and also offers up that grain of hope that even if you are stuck in an abusive relationship there’s always a way out. It might take time - it took Mel an additional three years and the death of her father to finally leave Stephen for good, but it can be done.
At times I found the writing a little all over the place, and some sentences or paragraphs were repeated several times throughout the book (such as Mel reminiscing about when she bought her parents a house, which she explains no less than three times). There’s also no clear structure or timeline, going from that fateful night before the X Factor show when she tries to commit suicide, back to her childhood, Eddie, Stephen again, back to Jimmy etc. It feels chaotic, and this is a big reflection of Mel B herself who comes across as quite the whirlwind. Some focus would have helped however, as at times I struggled to get to grips with the timeframes.
A raw, sometimes difficult read, that I hope helps Mel deal with a truly traumatic time in her life. I hope she can finally accept herself, and find the peace she certainly deserves.
This is a book primarily about Mel’s relationships with men. If you’re looking for memories of her time with the Spice Girls, this isn’t the book for you (although they are mentioned, and it’s a joy to read when they are). It’s squarely focused on all the men who’ve made an impact on her life, starting with her father, through to Jimmy her first husband, Eddie Murphy (the supposed ‘love of her life’) and, of course, Stephen. She discusses what she feels caused her to pick the worst kind of man imaginable, and also offers up that grain of hope that even if you are stuck in an abusive relationship there’s always a way out. It might take time - it took Mel an additional three years and the death of her father to finally leave Stephen for good, but it can be done.
At times I found the writing a little all over the place, and some sentences or paragraphs were repeated several times throughout the book (such as Mel reminiscing about when she bought her parents a house, which she explains no less than three times). There’s also no clear structure or timeline, going from that fateful night before the X Factor show when she tries to commit suicide, back to her childhood, Eddie, Stephen again, back to Jimmy etc. It feels chaotic, and this is a big reflection of Mel B herself who comes across as quite the whirlwind. Some focus would have helped however, as at times I struggled to get to grips with the timeframes.
A raw, sometimes difficult read, that I hope helps Mel deal with a truly traumatic time in her life. I hope she can finally accept herself, and find the peace she certainly deserves.
November 19, 2022
I absolutely loved the Spice Girls when I was younger, and even though my musical tastes ended up moving in an entirely different direction, I maintain a fondness for them. It was a fun time to enjoy their music, and my favourite member alternated regularly, something I took quite seriously. I had one of their concerts recorded off the TV onto a VHS tape, and I've seen Spice World numerous times (though not as an adult- listening to this audiobook made me think I should revisit it). In recent years though I would say I've lost track of them. I'd seen some reports about Mel B's marriage (it was hard to miss, even if you weren't looking) but much of the information in this book was new to me.
It's a pretty intense read at times, detailing an abusive marriage at length (though at times with a feeling like some aspects were being omitted). There was a lot here that was riveting, and valuable too -- such as the descriptions of coercive control. That some parts were so well done made the more clunky aspects quite frustrating. There was a lot of repetition, not in a way that felt like returning to a point or linking things together, but as if the book hadn't been proofread properly. Some stories were told more than once, - and it's not a long book, so you don't to be reminded that often. There were also aspects that felt contradictory -- she talks a lot about how spending money on people is a way she shows love and she struggles when it makes them uncomfortable or they decline the extravagance. But when her first husband spends his days spending her money (something she seemed to want) that's a sign that he is taking advantage of her. Maybe he was, but the message seems mixed. After she leaves her second marriage she says she had less than $1000 -- then in a short space of time she is having a host of surgical enhancements and tweakments --- how did she pay for it? Can she earn that much money that quickly, or was it a loan? Why spend that money on procedures when she didn't have a house? Her take on money was a little baffling at times, and I ended up putting it down to the fact that she was extremely rich from a young age, fairly easily and her idea of "no money" probably differs from most peoples. I'm not saying the Spice Girls didn't work hard, but there's a hefty dose of luck that they took off in such a big way.
Though Mel B is an interesting woman, I must admit I found the time she was with Eddie Murphy was the section of the book I enjoyed the most. She seems to still be in love with him (understandable) and I'm still not sure why she left him. She seems to think she didn't really, but she did. She left America without telling him and he took that to mean to mean she had left him. I get that. It made me think of The Parent Trap:
Nick Parker: You know, I may never be alone with you again. So about that day you packed, why'd you do it?
Elizabeth James: Oh, Nick. We were so young. We both had tempers, we said stupid things so I packed. Got on my very first 747, and you didn't come after me.
Nick Parker: I didn't know that you wanted me to.
Anyway, communication would have served them well. I think it was mean of him to imply the baby wasn't his though -- suddenly she is the whore trying to trap the rich famous man. Never mind that she was rich and famous herself. While I can forgive him making that comment, why didn't he put out a statement to balance it out a bit? Apologise publicly? He sent his team to collect her from the airport to get her and shield her from the media (the comments were given when she was in the air on her way back) but from then on he seems to have abandoned her. While they didn't have to reconcile, he knew the child was his (or even if he was genuinely uncertain, that it might be) and his abandonment feels quite callous. All her decisions after this point seems to have been in retaliation to Eddie -- marry Stephen and hope Eddie sees. Do this photo shoot and hope Eddie sees how happy and hot she is. While I'm not saying she was at fault for the abuse, it was frustrating to watch her ignore every single warning sign to ever exist in her attempt the make Eddie Murphy jealous -- especially since I don't think Eddie gave a damn. And even if he did, he doesn't strike me as the kind of man who would respond in the way she hoped.
Eddie Murphy was only directly in her life for quite a short time, and the time afterwards didn't hold my focus as much. I found the descriptions of her second marriage were certainly sordid and far from boring, but that repetition I mentioned earlier was strongest when describing this time period, which was annoying. I wonder if this was amplified because this was the time period that dominated the media, so a lot of it was familiar already. Perhaps I wouldn't have minded so much if it hadn't felt like this section of the book deserved to be a little better. That the most important part was muddled and sometimes confusing was a shame -- the hour long interview at the end put a few things into focus, and I understand the ghostwriter was trying to replicate Mel's ADHD, but I don't think it quite worked. Still, that might not bother everyone.
Something I am confused about is that when she first left Stephen, their family therapist tells her to go back to him, to ensure she leaves him right, and will get custody. I'm not a therapist of course, but this strikes me as incredibly dangerous advice - - it took her three more years to properly leave him, and she doesn't seem to have full custody of the youngest child, so what was the point? She'd already attempted suicide - - - what if she had tried again and succeeded? Or if her husband had killed her, as so frequently happens in this situation? I couldn't understand why a professional, not a well meaning but misguided family member or friend, but a medical professional, would tell her to stay in an abusive relationship. That just seems absurd and dangerous. Especially because surely she is one of the lucky few woman who could probably establish herself financially quite quickly, and afford security and lawyers. Not lucky to be in that situation of course, but that she had options that can feel out of reach for many.
Overall this was worth listening to, and anything that brings attention to domestic violence has a value to it. I liked that she was clear about the affects of this even after she was out of the relationship, and the impact it had on her children -- her point being that an abusive relationship doesn't just affect the couple, but those around them.
The audiobook was mostly read by actress Zaraah Abrahams and she was brilliant. Her performance I would give an easy five-stars.
August 11, 2020
I had this book laying on my shelf, then it became available on audio from my library. Seeing as I was struggling with the physical book and kept putting it down, I thought, you know what.....maybe it’s best I listened to it.
There is no doubt that this woman struggled.
I’m thinking the way she wrote certain things or had it read it was and came across as very glorified.
Not the acts itself more like the “setting the scene”. It’s hard to explain but I’ll try.
She mentions lots of times her glorious home, it centres at times on what she has, what’s she achieved.
I am aware right at the beginning when she explains she has dyslexia. But there are ghost writers, editors, publishers etc that could have brought this together much better not distorting anything but arranging it in some sort of order.
It tends to jump around a bit.
Like I say, I’d never knock someone’s life experiences and tragedies but there’s something in this that seems hidden within her relationship with her secound husband.
A feisty woman which she admits to herself.
I’m not sure if it’s the way it’s been told that’s given me this feeling or what.
I’ve learnt more about her from this book and she definitely has a bad side to her.
I’ll probably get hung for my thoughts, but I’m only writing my opinion and what I took from this book.
Anyone in the U.K. want me to send this to you? I’d be happy to hear what you think.
There is no doubt that this woman struggled.
I’m thinking the way she wrote certain things or had it read it was and came across as very glorified.
Not the acts itself more like the “setting the scene”. It’s hard to explain but I’ll try.
She mentions lots of times her glorious home, it centres at times on what she has, what’s she achieved.
I am aware right at the beginning when she explains she has dyslexia. But there are ghost writers, editors, publishers etc that could have brought this together much better not distorting anything but arranging it in some sort of order.
It tends to jump around a bit.
Like I say, I’d never knock someone’s life experiences and tragedies but there’s something in this that seems hidden within her relationship with her secound husband.
A feisty woman which she admits to herself.
I’m not sure if it’s the way it’s been told that’s given me this feeling or what.
I’ve learnt more about her from this book and she definitely has a bad side to her.
I’ll probably get hung for my thoughts, but I’m only writing my opinion and what I took from this book.
Anyone in the U.K. want me to send this to you? I’d be happy to hear what you think.
December 1, 2018
Although, she has clearly been through brutal circumstances, I felt this book was beautifully honest. It felt like it came from a truly genuine place, rather than being a PR device. Mel B was (and still is!) Girl Power personified for me and many others - I have been a huge Spice Girls fan since I was seven years old (I am a lot older now...) - so I admit I am biased. But, as such a big fan, I didn't want to be disappointed whilst reading this.
The thing I love about this book, is that Mel B's bright and brilliant personality shines out of it all the way through. She clearly went through a lot of shit and it's explained in detail, but in no way does that manage to overshadow all the other dazzling aspects of her personality. Like many women, she's been with a dickhead at some point in her life. And he took a lot from her. And like many women, she didn't see how bad it really was until it was far too late. But, she's taken that and turned it into something really positive, and it's hard not to respect someone who can pick themselves up and make good from the bad. It's so important that women write books like this, to remove stigma from the horrible violence some experience in their relationships, and to make others aware of the warning signs. It's informative, and explains the concepts of coercive control and gaslighting clearly and accessibly for anyone to understand. I can see this being an aid to those who read it.
Aside from that, it's well-written, well-structured, and well-edited. The chapters written by Andrea and Phoenix were especially insightful, because they portrayed so perfectly how the traumatising effects of domestic violence reverberate into the lives of of children, parents, friends, siblings. I thought this book was amazing, on so many levels. It's full of life, in all its shades. And I am an even bigger Spice Girls fan after reading this, but now, for far more significant reasons.
The thing I love about this book, is that Mel B's bright and brilliant personality shines out of it all the way through. She clearly went through a lot of shit and it's explained in detail, but in no way does that manage to overshadow all the other dazzling aspects of her personality. Like many women, she's been with a dickhead at some point in her life. And he took a lot from her. And like many women, she didn't see how bad it really was until it was far too late. But, she's taken that and turned it into something really positive, and it's hard not to respect someone who can pick themselves up and make good from the bad. It's so important that women write books like this, to remove stigma from the horrible violence some experience in their relationships, and to make others aware of the warning signs. It's informative, and explains the concepts of coercive control and gaslighting clearly and accessibly for anyone to understand. I can see this being an aid to those who read it.
Aside from that, it's well-written, well-structured, and well-edited. The chapters written by Andrea and Phoenix were especially insightful, because they portrayed so perfectly how the traumatising effects of domestic violence reverberate into the lives of of children, parents, friends, siblings. I thought this book was amazing, on so many levels. It's full of life, in all its shades. And I am an even bigger Spice Girls fan after reading this, but now, for far more significant reasons.
December 6, 2018
I finished Mel B's Brutally Honest book. Wow. She really was honest and I think fair play to her for being so open and honest, showing even the strongest woman can be manipulated and abused over years. Although I wish she would have written it in order. All of the back and forth gave me a headache.
July 3, 2019
A powerful story and so relevant with everything that's happening in the world right now. Well done, Melanie, for speaking your truth and not being afraid to share every horrifying detail.
However.
The writing is crap. I understand that Mel has dyslexia, but she had a ghostwriter and plenty of editors, yet the story was just SO muddled, flicking back and forth through time with no distinction.
Also, and I am nervous of saying this, but something in her tone just doesn't ring true. As much as she talks about being "brutally honest", something about her just comes through as inauthentic, and I don't know what it is. The things her husband did were so horrendous, but there was a part of me that kept asking, what is she leaving out? Was this a mutually abusive relationship? What is missing from this story?
Plus, from a lot of her anecdotes, I have to say that she comes across as an unkind person to a lot of her friends, family and co-workers. I can't help thinking for all her talk about Girl Power, she's a Mean Girl.
But it IS a Girl Power book and I do recommend it. People need to know Melanie's story, like all the women who have been abused in their lives. Read it. Believe it. Stop it from happening again.
However.
The writing is crap. I understand that Mel has dyslexia, but she had a ghostwriter and plenty of editors, yet the story was just SO muddled, flicking back and forth through time with no distinction.
Also, and I am nervous of saying this, but something in her tone just doesn't ring true. As much as she talks about being "brutally honest", something about her just comes through as inauthentic, and I don't know what it is. The things her husband did were so horrendous, but there was a part of me that kept asking, what is she leaving out? Was this a mutually abusive relationship? What is missing from this story?
Plus, from a lot of her anecdotes, I have to say that she comes across as an unkind person to a lot of her friends, family and co-workers. I can't help thinking for all her talk about Girl Power, she's a Mean Girl.
But it IS a Girl Power book and I do recommend it. People need to know Melanie's story, like all the women who have been abused in their lives. Read it. Believe it. Stop it from happening again.
October 3, 2019
This was truly one of the worst autobiographies I have read, and I’ve read a few. I really struggled to keep up as it jumped from 1996 to 2017 to 2004 , sometimes in the same paragraph! I also take a lot of her story with a huge pinch of salt, as I googled quite a few things as I read it, and she tells a different story from a lot of ‘friends’ in the book.
She also takes no blame whatsoever for anything in her life, failed marriages, drugs, alcohol, sex threesomes....nothing was ever her fault.
She says she left Stephen with only $936 dollars to her name. Yet then tells us that a few weeks later she had plastic surgery on her face, eyes, boobs, stomach and....a vaginal rejuvenation!! What about her kids??
She came across as a thoroughly nasty woman, and now two years later several people mentioned as great friends in her book, are now suing her. Tells you a lot.
She also takes no blame whatsoever for anything in her life, failed marriages, drugs, alcohol, sex threesomes....nothing was ever her fault.
She says she left Stephen with only $936 dollars to her name. Yet then tells us that a few weeks later she had plastic surgery on her face, eyes, boobs, stomach and....a vaginal rejuvenation!! What about her kids??
She came across as a thoroughly nasty woman, and now two years later several people mentioned as great friends in her book, are now suing her. Tells you a lot.
dnf
April 11, 2020@40%
I didn’t dnf this memoir because it wasn’t well written, touching or sincere. Because it was all of that. I’m simply not such a big fan of Mel’s (or Spice Girls in general for that matter) and I lost interest in the story by this time.
I didn’t dnf this memoir because it wasn’t well written, touching or sincere. Because it was all of that. I’m simply not such a big fan of Mel’s (or Spice Girls in general for that matter) and I lost interest in the story by this time.
September 5, 2022
I can't review this without mentioning that it was riddled with typos. The most glaring being the date of Geri leaving the Spice Girls as being 1988 (their first single was 1996) and Sporty Spice being called Sport Spice. Two real facepalm moments. I can let Mel off as she tells us she is dyslexic and hey she's a singer not an author, but whoever was in charge of proof-reading should be fired.
Anyway the book is basically a memoir based on her time with husband Stephen Belafonte, what was going on in her life during that decade and some context about her upbringing and previous relationships that led her to Stephen.
Mel jumps straight into the story as she attempts to take her own life one night. A pretty gripping start which I thought would be followed by how she got to that point. But there then followed 3 or 4 chapters of her telling us about filming The X Factor at the time and how this is such a horrible story but she's determined to tell us everything, don't believe what you read in the papers, here it is, I'm going to share the whole story, watch out, here it comes... Well... where is then?? It took a while to get going which was frustrating if you're not up to date on the tabloid speculation so haven't actually heard the rumours she is saying aren't true. I knew she had got divorced recently but didn't know much beyond that.
She did get into it properly eventually, after telling us about her first husband and short-lived relationship with Eddie Murphy (who sounds like a total a-hole and a freak btw -- despite repeated pronouncements that he is the love of her life, he does not come off well in this book).
I enjoyed the background of her life in Leeds and how determined she was to make it big. I gather there is more still to learn in her original life story Catch a Fire: The Autobiography. What Mel said about abusive relationships was also worth a read and should definitely be a cautionary tale.
However the book was largely all over the place and dashed back and forth between current and past events. I would have preferred a more straightforward timeline as there was a lot going on which was sometimes difficult to follow. I suppose that reflects Mel's whirlwind life, but the average reader is mostly left to piece it together themselves.
Still, as with all celebrity memoirs it was fascinating to peek behind the curtain and I got through this fairly quickly. I didn't have much of an opinion on Mel B before but now I can't help thinking she's something of a national treasure. She came off well in this and hopefully the writing experience has provided her with some closure.
Anyway the book is basically a memoir based on her time with husband Stephen Belafonte, what was going on in her life during that decade and some context about her upbringing and previous relationships that led her to Stephen.
Mel jumps straight into the story as she attempts to take her own life one night. A pretty gripping start which I thought would be followed by how she got to that point. But there then followed 3 or 4 chapters of her telling us about filming The X Factor at the time and how this is such a horrible story but she's determined to tell us everything, don't believe what you read in the papers, here it is, I'm going to share the whole story, watch out, here it comes... Well... where is then?? It took a while to get going which was frustrating if you're not up to date on the tabloid speculation so haven't actually heard the rumours she is saying aren't true. I knew she had got divorced recently but didn't know much beyond that.
She did get into it properly eventually, after telling us about her first husband and short-lived relationship with Eddie Murphy (who sounds like a total a-hole and a freak btw -- despite repeated pronouncements that he is the love of her life, he does not come off well in this book).
I enjoyed the background of her life in Leeds and how determined she was to make it big. I gather there is more still to learn in her original life story Catch a Fire: The Autobiography. What Mel said about abusive relationships was also worth a read and should definitely be a cautionary tale.
However the book was largely all over the place and dashed back and forth between current and past events. I would have preferred a more straightforward timeline as there was a lot going on which was sometimes difficult to follow. I suppose that reflects Mel's whirlwind life, but the average reader is mostly left to piece it together themselves.
Still, as with all celebrity memoirs it was fascinating to peek behind the curtain and I got through this fairly quickly. I didn't have much of an opinion on Mel B before but now I can't help thinking she's something of a national treasure. She came off well in this and hopefully the writing experience has provided her with some closure.
May 18, 2019
What the what? I grabbed this recent Audible deal not knowing much about Mel B’s life. She goes deep into her past relationships including a quite messed up marriage that lasted 10 years, produced her third daughter, and yielded 50+ sex tapes (some with disturbing content). That husband was a real piece of ... work. Scary Spice has been through some shit and does not sugarcoat nor discount the unhealthy ways she coped. Brutally honest, indeed.
March 30, 2019
Mel B was always the very outspoken, ball-bashing one of the Spice Girls, if it needed saying, she was probably the one to say it, she gave no-shits about what people thought about her, and was very happy with this thank you very much!
Except this was really what she wanted people to see, she was actually a girl looking for love, mainly that of her father, he obviously loved her, but I think that she wanted to be shown how much she was loved, instead of being told that she wasn't going to amount to anything, or that she was just a nuisance.
Melanie doesn't hold back in this book, she is indeed Brutally Honest, she tells you about everything, from the drinking, to the drugs and more.
Her relationships with her friends, family and lovers are also included, including lots of old stories about how she got into the Spice Girls, and also about the man that she calls the love of her life, Eddie Murphy.
She also tells the story about her 10 year marriage to Stephen Belafonte (pronounced Steffan, cause he's a dick like that!)
At the beginning the relationship was good, but it was quick, they were married really early on in the relationship, and he started to more than a healthy interest in her work/friends/money etc. So much so, in the end he had full control of everything!
After a short time the abuse started, but as she explains it wasn't hitting straight away, it was verbal and emotional abuse, and it was done so subtly that she didn't even realise what it was.
It’s hard to see when you are in it (although it becomes horribly, blindingly obvious when you are out of it) that the emotional upset you feel with your partner doesn’t just exist between the two of you or in your bedroom. It is an energy that fills a house.
She was Gaslighted, mentally and emotionally abused, which finally led to physical abuse.
When you are reading the book, you find that it does jump around a bit, from past to present, Melanie admits to having ADHD which is why I think it does this, it doesn't seem to be in any sort of chronological order, it's like she thinks of something and has to get it down before she forgets it, and I loved that about it.
For 10 years this woman was beaten down to feeling like nothing, and even at one point tried to kill herself, she was self medicating with drink and drugs to stop these feelings, and for the whole time she felt like, and was told it was her fault- THIS IS ABUSE
Melanie is an incredibly brave woman to open up her life to show everyone, and I applaud her for this, it shows that abuse does not discriminate, old, young, rich or poor, it can effect anyone.
Mel tells her story, warts and all, and explains how, to those people that say "Why didn't you just leave?" that it isn't that easy, some people don't even realise that they are being abused.
There are 15 signs on the cover of the book, these are all RED FLAGS, it is incredibly important that people recognise these signs, and maybe, just maybe it will help, even just one person.
I think she is one HELL of a brave lady for doing this, and I hope that her and her family are super happy now 😘
🎧🎧 - Narration for the audio book was by Zaraah Abrahams who was fabulous, she sounds very much like Mel B when she speaks, so by the time it was halfway through, I had forgotten it was a different person narrating it.
15 Signs of Domestic Abuse:
1. Tells you that you can never do anything right.
2. Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away.
3. Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members.
4. Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs.
5. Controls every penny spent in the household.
6. Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses.
7. Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you.
8. Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do.
9. Prevents you from making your own decisions.
10. Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children.
11. Prevents you from working or attending school.
12. Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets.
13. Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons.
14. Pressures you to have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually you're not comfortable with.
15. Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol.
If this is you, then don't be afraid to talk to someone about it, you are not alone, it is NOT YOUR FAULT, he doesn't have to hit you for it to be abuse #ThisIsNotLove #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou
Except this was really what she wanted people to see, she was actually a girl looking for love, mainly that of her father, he obviously loved her, but I think that she wanted to be shown how much she was loved, instead of being told that she wasn't going to amount to anything, or that she was just a nuisance.
Melanie doesn't hold back in this book, she is indeed Brutally Honest, she tells you about everything, from the drinking, to the drugs and more.
Her relationships with her friends, family and lovers are also included, including lots of old stories about how she got into the Spice Girls, and also about the man that she calls the love of her life, Eddie Murphy.
She also tells the story about her 10 year marriage to Stephen Belafonte (pronounced Steffan, cause he's a dick like that!)
At the beginning the relationship was good, but it was quick, they were married really early on in the relationship, and he started to more than a healthy interest in her work/friends/money etc. So much so, in the end he had full control of everything!
After a short time the abuse started, but as she explains it wasn't hitting straight away, it was verbal and emotional abuse, and it was done so subtly that she didn't even realise what it was.
It’s hard to see when you are in it (although it becomes horribly, blindingly obvious when you are out of it) that the emotional upset you feel with your partner doesn’t just exist between the two of you or in your bedroom. It is an energy that fills a house.
She was Gaslighted, mentally and emotionally abused, which finally led to physical abuse.
When you are reading the book, you find that it does jump around a bit, from past to present, Melanie admits to having ADHD which is why I think it does this, it doesn't seem to be in any sort of chronological order, it's like she thinks of something and has to get it down before she forgets it, and I loved that about it.
For 10 years this woman was beaten down to feeling like nothing, and even at one point tried to kill herself, she was self medicating with drink and drugs to stop these feelings, and for the whole time she felt like, and was told it was her fault- THIS IS ABUSE
Melanie is an incredibly brave woman to open up her life to show everyone, and I applaud her for this, it shows that abuse does not discriminate, old, young, rich or poor, it can effect anyone.
Mel tells her story, warts and all, and explains how, to those people that say "Why didn't you just leave?" that it isn't that easy, some people don't even realise that they are being abused.
There are 15 signs on the cover of the book, these are all RED FLAGS, it is incredibly important that people recognise these signs, and maybe, just maybe it will help, even just one person.
I think she is one HELL of a brave lady for doing this, and I hope that her and her family are super happy now 😘
🎧🎧 - Narration for the audio book was by Zaraah Abrahams who was fabulous, she sounds very much like Mel B when she speaks, so by the time it was halfway through, I had forgotten it was a different person narrating it.
15 Signs of Domestic Abuse:
1. Tells you that you can never do anything right.
2. Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away.
3. Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members.
4. Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs.
5. Controls every penny spent in the household.
6. Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses.
7. Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you.
8. Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do.
9. Prevents you from making your own decisions.
10. Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children.
11. Prevents you from working or attending school.
12. Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets.
13. Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons.
14. Pressures you to have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually you're not comfortable with.
15. Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol.
If this is you, then don't be afraid to talk to someone about it, you are not alone, it is NOT YOUR FAULT, he doesn't have to hit you for it to be abuse #ThisIsNotLove #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou
April 25, 2020
I hope I am not going to come off as a sexist white male heterosexual in this review about a bisexual biracial female celebrity. I decided to listen to this book because I thought I had some familiarity with the Spice Girls. I was mistaken. The heroine of this book is quite well known but it turns out not to me. The book is primarily about the impact of a toxic relationship on a seemingly strong woman.
My overall perception of this book is that it seemed like it was a story like you might find in a tabloid. I did not find the main character to be likable or even understandable. I listen to the audible book which was actually read by the spice girl Melanie along with a couple of short segments read by others including her oldest daughter who was a child through most of the events in the book. I thought her recollections particularly were quite touching and personable. At the end of the audible book there is an approximately one hour recorded conversation between the ghost writer of the book and Melanie which might actually be more interesting than the book.
By being brutally honest Melanie felt she could help other women who might be in her situation. She went through several relationships in the book and her determined common theme of all relationships what she was looking for someone to replace her extremely controlling father. The final relationship lasted 10 years with Stephen. Why she stayed in that relationship so long as hard as she tries to explain her psychological entrapment seems hard to understand.
There was also a family therapist involved during most of the 10 years of that relationship who met with husband and wife throughout and personally experienced the degradation she was facing. However when she had finally decided to leave this abusive relationship, the family therapist recommended she not Leave but wait for a better opportunity so that her custody of her three daughters would not be threatened. She did not leave her abusive relationship for another 3+ years. I think this therapist who was a mover and shaker in the Los Angeles celebrity community and had a substantial government job as the head of a family and child services agency should probably be subject to professional censure for dereliction of duty. How he could watch this situation for 10 years and leave young children in these circumstances is unconscionable.
Melanie Brown is a rich woman. She began being rich when she was only a teenager and at the end of the book she claims she had an income of 80,000,000 pounds over the 20 years prior to the book being written. When she was flying first class from Los Angeles to Leeds When her father was dying, she arrived in Los Angeles and rather than taking a train or driving to Leeds she hired a private jet. She had tons of money. She bought her husband a fancy restaurant toward the end of their marriage in order to distract him from their mutual life. Nowhere in this book does she suggest that she ever did anything to help humanity with her money other than to help herself. She repeatedly describes herself as an extremely sexual person and seemingly is oblivious to the source of this personality trait. She seems proud of it as a part of her persona that made her a star. To me this was just one indicator of her failure to really come to grips with how she found herself in the situations she describes.
This book is certainly all the proof that you might need that having a lot of money will not guarantee you happiness. At the end of the book she is still in her late 30s so It might be interesting to see if she develops any additional insight to her life in her remaining years. She is clearly a person who has earned her celebrity beginning with the Spice Girls and continuing with an independent career as an entertainer including significant roles on Broadway.
She maintains that her main joy in life is her three daughters. Two of them are still minors at the conclusion of this book. The oldest has already displayed some problematic behavior. The damage that was done to Melanie and her three daughters was severe and will of course never go away. Melanie did some of the damage to her daughters herself. She repeatedly acknowledges that her way of dealing with emotional difficulty is to block it out. In the midst of white seem to me to be dramatically difficult circumstances, she goes on stage and excels. I did not see her exhibit much understanding of who she is in this book.
She likes to think that she has been brave to see this book published with all the information she divulges. It seems likely however that most of what she talks about has already appeared in the British tabloids. All she is doing here is telling her side of the story. She does not come across as a very insightful narrator. She has gotten quite used to being a rich and famous celebrity and she cannot quite ditch that persona.
My overall perception of this book is that it seemed like it was a story like you might find in a tabloid. I did not find the main character to be likable or even understandable. I listen to the audible book which was actually read by the spice girl Melanie along with a couple of short segments read by others including her oldest daughter who was a child through most of the events in the book. I thought her recollections particularly were quite touching and personable. At the end of the audible book there is an approximately one hour recorded conversation between the ghost writer of the book and Melanie which might actually be more interesting than the book.
By being brutally honest Melanie felt she could help other women who might be in her situation. She went through several relationships in the book and her determined common theme of all relationships what she was looking for someone to replace her extremely controlling father. The final relationship lasted 10 years with Stephen. Why she stayed in that relationship so long as hard as she tries to explain her psychological entrapment seems hard to understand.
There was also a family therapist involved during most of the 10 years of that relationship who met with husband and wife throughout and personally experienced the degradation she was facing. However when she had finally decided to leave this abusive relationship, the family therapist recommended she not Leave but wait for a better opportunity so that her custody of her three daughters would not be threatened. She did not leave her abusive relationship for another 3+ years. I think this therapist who was a mover and shaker in the Los Angeles celebrity community and had a substantial government job as the head of a family and child services agency should probably be subject to professional censure for dereliction of duty. How he could watch this situation for 10 years and leave young children in these circumstances is unconscionable.
Melanie Brown is a rich woman. She began being rich when she was only a teenager and at the end of the book she claims she had an income of 80,000,000 pounds over the 20 years prior to the book being written. When she was flying first class from Los Angeles to Leeds When her father was dying, she arrived in Los Angeles and rather than taking a train or driving to Leeds she hired a private jet. She had tons of money. She bought her husband a fancy restaurant toward the end of their marriage in order to distract him from their mutual life. Nowhere in this book does she suggest that she ever did anything to help humanity with her money other than to help herself. She repeatedly describes herself as an extremely sexual person and seemingly is oblivious to the source of this personality trait. She seems proud of it as a part of her persona that made her a star. To me this was just one indicator of her failure to really come to grips with how she found herself in the situations she describes.
This book is certainly all the proof that you might need that having a lot of money will not guarantee you happiness. At the end of the book she is still in her late 30s so It might be interesting to see if she develops any additional insight to her life in her remaining years. She is clearly a person who has earned her celebrity beginning with the Spice Girls and continuing with an independent career as an entertainer including significant roles on Broadway.
She maintains that her main joy in life is her three daughters. Two of them are still minors at the conclusion of this book. The oldest has already displayed some problematic behavior. The damage that was done to Melanie and her three daughters was severe and will of course never go away. Melanie did some of the damage to her daughters herself. She repeatedly acknowledges that her way of dealing with emotional difficulty is to block it out. In the midst of white seem to me to be dramatically difficult circumstances, she goes on stage and excels. I did not see her exhibit much understanding of who she is in this book.
She likes to think that she has been brave to see this book published with all the information she divulges. It seems likely however that most of what she talks about has already appeared in the British tabloids. All she is doing here is telling her side of the story. She does not come across as a very insightful narrator. She has gotten quite used to being a rich and famous celebrity and she cannot quite ditch that persona.
January 4, 2019
Brutally honest … a fit title. I am not a Melanie B. fan, in fact, I find her loud and overwhelming personality intimidating, I totally get the “scary spice” moniker. This book helps the reader understand who Mel is, where she comes from, her experiences and many mistakes in life.
I respect her because, in this memoirs, she dared to show her childhood problems, drinking and drugs abuse, sexual appetites, attempted suicides and her poor choices in relationships.
Furthermore, I admire Mel’s courage to bare it all in the hope to help other women and highlight the issue of domestic abuse. Controlling, manipulative and emotional abusive relationships happen in Hollywood as well as in the suburbs.
After reading this book, I learned the term “gaslighting”. I feel some sympathy for her, but I have greater sympathy for Phoenix, her elder daughter, who witnessed things no child should.
Fav. quotes:
Bizarrely it turns out it is often the apparently stronger woman who is more likely to be abused. According to statistics, women earning more than 67 per cent of the total household income are seven times more likely to experience psychological and physical abuse.
It’s hard to see when you are in it (although it becomes horribly, blindingly obvious when you are out of it) that the emotional upset you feel with your partner doesn’t just exist between the two of you or in your bedroom. It is an energy that fills a house. You carry it with you wherever you are, and it changes you and it changes them. I was so emotionally blocked and messed up, and self-medicating with drink and drugs, that I didn’t realize that they did see, hear and feel things no child ever should.
Legal battles are like living with a team of builders permanently in your house. They make a mess, they cost a fortune, and, whatever you ask them to do, there is always a problem.
I respect her because, in this memoirs, she dared to show her childhood problems, drinking and drugs abuse, sexual appetites, attempted suicides and her poor choices in relationships.
Furthermore, I admire Mel’s courage to bare it all in the hope to help other women and highlight the issue of domestic abuse. Controlling, manipulative and emotional abusive relationships happen in Hollywood as well as in the suburbs.
After reading this book, I learned the term “gaslighting”. I feel some sympathy for her, but I have greater sympathy for Phoenix, her elder daughter, who witnessed things no child should.
Fav. quotes:
Bizarrely it turns out it is often the apparently stronger woman who is more likely to be abused. According to statistics, women earning more than 67 per cent of the total household income are seven times more likely to experience psychological and physical abuse.
It’s hard to see when you are in it (although it becomes horribly, blindingly obvious when you are out of it) that the emotional upset you feel with your partner doesn’t just exist between the two of you or in your bedroom. It is an energy that fills a house. You carry it with you wherever you are, and it changes you and it changes them. I was so emotionally blocked and messed up, and self-medicating with drink and drugs, that I didn’t realize that they did see, hear and feel things no child ever should.
Legal battles are like living with a team of builders permanently in your house. They make a mess, they cost a fortune, and, whatever you ask them to do, there is always a problem.
February 17, 2019
Mel B, Scary Spice, Loud Mouthed, Confident, In Charge, Girl Power - she comes across as untouchable, the epitome of a strong, powerful woman. So she would never be controlled or manipulated by a man, right? Wrong.
This memoir is a harrowing look at years of living in an abusive relationship - hiding in secrecy, in shame, in pain. Plastering on a brave face in public and cracking up behind closed doors. Mel is incredibly open and honest about how she coped - alcohol, drugs, sex. She bravely documents how she came to the point where she appeared on live Saturday Night TV covered in bruises - sending a very clear message to her husband at the time.
This is uncomfortable to read, for a few reasons. One is that someone very close to me had a similar experience with gaslighting and it's very painful to imagine how she was feeling. Secondly, this is so intimate and I feel like I don't have the right to know this much about someone - but, I can see how it would be both cathartic for Mel to say it all out loud and also helpful for other women going through the same. This isn't in chronological order, it jumps all over the place - a result, as Mel says, of her ADHD. She thinks of one story and goes off on a tangent to another - but it all comes together in the end. I respect her hugely for taking herself out of the relationship and seeking help, and I hope she is much happier now. I also thought it was incredibly courageous to include a chapter from her eldest daughter, Phoenix, about how the relationship affected her.
At the back of the book, Mel has included a list that a friend of hers gave her. She says she wants people to share it, so I'm including it here:
15 Signs of Domestic Abuse:
1. Tells you that you can never do anything right.
2. Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away.
3. Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members.
4. Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs.
5. Controls every penny spent in the household.
6. Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses.
7. Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you.
8. Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do.
9. Prevents you from making your own decisions.
10. Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children.
11. Prevents you from working or attending school.
12. Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets.
13. Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons.
14. Pressures you to have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually you're not comfortabe with.
15. Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol.
If you recognise anything on that list, please don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't go through it on your own, you deserve better.
This memoir is a harrowing look at years of living in an abusive relationship - hiding in secrecy, in shame, in pain. Plastering on a brave face in public and cracking up behind closed doors. Mel is incredibly open and honest about how she coped - alcohol, drugs, sex. She bravely documents how she came to the point where she appeared on live Saturday Night TV covered in bruises - sending a very clear message to her husband at the time.
This is uncomfortable to read, for a few reasons. One is that someone very close to me had a similar experience with gaslighting and it's very painful to imagine how she was feeling. Secondly, this is so intimate and I feel like I don't have the right to know this much about someone - but, I can see how it would be both cathartic for Mel to say it all out loud and also helpful for other women going through the same. This isn't in chronological order, it jumps all over the place - a result, as Mel says, of her ADHD. She thinks of one story and goes off on a tangent to another - but it all comes together in the end. I respect her hugely for taking herself out of the relationship and seeking help, and I hope she is much happier now. I also thought it was incredibly courageous to include a chapter from her eldest daughter, Phoenix, about how the relationship affected her.
At the back of the book, Mel has included a list that a friend of hers gave her. She says she wants people to share it, so I'm including it here:
15 Signs of Domestic Abuse:
1. Tells you that you can never do anything right.
2. Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away.
3. Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members.
4. Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs.
5. Controls every penny spent in the household.
6. Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses.
7. Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you.
8. Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do.
9. Prevents you from making your own decisions.
10. Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children.
11. Prevents you from working or attending school.
12. Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets.
13. Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons.
14. Pressures you to have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually you're not comfortabe with.
15. Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol.
If you recognise anything on that list, please don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't go through it on your own, you deserve better.
August 29, 2019
2.5. I think her story would have benefited if it was organized linearly.
The bio jumped all over the place.
Also, where was the personal accountability? For each failed marriage/relationship, and there were many, she always blamed the other party?
For example, with Eddie Murphy, she remarked how she was surprised the relationship turned out that way but when I was reading it all i could think was this was not going to end well.
Eddie Murphy was a superstar that was used to having it his way. He had an aversion to being in public and enjoyed hosting his friends and family at home. In her own words when they first met, Murphy called her up and told her "I don't want to go out but I want you to come over and hang out for a few days" And she did
She knew exactly what type of situation she was getting into but apparently thought she could change him. She also stated that many of his friends detested her because she wanted to change how Murphy wanted to live his life.
3-4 time divorcee, drug user with a few OD cases, and its everyone else's fault. Gotcha.
The bio jumped all over the place.
Also, where was the personal accountability? For each failed marriage/relationship, and there were many, she always blamed the other party?
For example, with Eddie Murphy, she remarked how she was surprised the relationship turned out that way but when I was reading it all i could think was this was not going to end well.
Eddie Murphy was a superstar that was used to having it his way. He had an aversion to being in public and enjoyed hosting his friends and family at home. In her own words when they first met, Murphy called her up and told her "I don't want to go out but I want you to come over and hang out for a few days" And she did
She knew exactly what type of situation she was getting into but apparently thought she could change him. She also stated that many of his friends detested her because she wanted to change how Murphy wanted to live his life.
3-4 time divorcee, drug user with a few OD cases, and its everyone else's fault. Gotcha.
December 23, 2018
A minha opinião em vídeo https://youtu.be/eCCOjQEJ5vs
December 27, 2018
Raw and emotional.
Mel B describes her traumatic experiences in a domestically violent relationship.
Brutally honest, the only way to describe this powerful read.
Mel B describes her traumatic experiences in a domestically violent relationship.
Brutally honest, the only way to describe this powerful read.
February 3, 2019
The Spice Girls were an international sensation when they first came on the pop music scene in 1996. They became overnight sensations and topped charts, sold out arenas, and even had a movie commissioned on them, Spiceworld, as the five of them - Geri, Emma, Victoria, Mel C and Mel B became synonymous with the message of 'Girl Power'.
This book is about the life of Mel B, who was lovingly dubbed 'Scary Spice'. As she writes about herself in the book,
With this in mind, to read for over 250 pages how she was manipulated, gaslighted, and made emotionally and financially bankrupt, was heartbreaking. She starts off with her infamous 2014 appearance in the X Factor finals in UK where viewers could see her bruised eye and needle marks on her arm. Melanie had overdosed on pills and was hospitalised for the same. It made headlines globally.
She jumps back in time to talk about her upbringing in Leeds. Born to a black father and a white mother in the 70s, she grew up unsure of who she was. She talks about her strict father who was, at times, loving and sensitive, and at others, cold and detached. His iron fist on the family drove a wedge between them as his repeated attempts to discipline her only fueled her rebellion. This pattern would come up in Mel's relationship with men - who were controlling, manipulative and possessive.
A huge chunk of the book is devoted to Eddie Murphy, who she dubs the love of her life. They had a short courtship, she got pregnant, and moved in with him. Soon, she got frustrated with his controlling ways - he wouldn't let her leave the house, he wanted to keep her in front of his eyes - and in true Ross and Rachel fashion, they took a break. Unfortunately it didn't end well. She refused to take up his calls and he foolishly announced to a press reporter that he didn't know if the child was his and that he'd need a DNA test to confirm his paternity. The sad part of this was that this interview happened right during the time she was flying from UK to his place in US. Understandably, she ended things there and then.
Lost and heartbroken, she soon met Stephen, the man who would marry her and be the focal reason behind this book. Mel B saw that Stephen was a 'player' through and through and admired his confidence. The whole Eddie saga had barely ended and Stephen had already started pursuing her shamelessly, which made her feel he really liked her. Sadly, she was a meal ticket for his fortune. She writes how no one, literally no one liked him from the get go. Not her parents, not the Spice Girls, not her ex-husband, not even her daughter, and not her long term assistant and friend Janet, who ended up quitting soon afterwards.
Although it is a one sided story, Mel B describes in agonizing detail about the toll it took on her. How he had slowly ended her contact with her family, taken over the finances of the house, called all the shots for her, and kept her imprisoned in the house. He confused her by praising her effusively and insulting her the next minute. He'd bring in women and ask her to participate in threesomes which he recorded. He filmed her doing alcohol and drugs and threatened to ruin her life. He told her she was a terrible mother in front of her children. He spent her money like water and blew close to 38 Million pounds during their decade long marriage. Mel, smitten and confused, continued to stay imprisoned in this relationship, confusing his possessiveness for love and his abuse for the result of his upbringing in a broken home.
Mel B writes how after earning 80 Million pounds across her 2 decade long career, she left with her daughters and $936 in a joint account. And that too, only when her father passed away. She couldn't bear the thought of Stephen releasing the sex tapes, which he often threatened to, and risk her father seeing it. She only mustered the courage to turn her life around when her father had breathed his last.
This book was, first and foremost, true to the title. It was brutally honest. Mel B didn't flinch from sharing the most intimate of details, and some of them really make you flinch. She is not a brilliant writer though, so don't expect any quote that might stick with you. The language is simple and sometimes too repetitive. She emphasises upon the same things over and over, and admits that her ADHD and dyslexia is to blame. The timelines jump randomly and she mixes in incidents old and new and switches paragraphs for no reason.
Nonetheless, it was a gritty book. You may view it as a cautionary tale of what happens in Hollywood, you may view it as the story of people in abusive relationships, or you may view it as a woman's story from a working class family to international fame. But Mel B deserves praise for not holding her tongue, and showing that she may very well be back to the persona that people have loved her for.
This book is about the life of Mel B, who was lovingly dubbed 'Scary Spice'. As she writes about herself in the book,
Of the spice girls, I was notoriously the one incapable of holding her tongue, incapable of being made to do anything I didn't want to do. My whole scary spice persona was
built on the fact that I was intimidated by no one."
With this in mind, to read for over 250 pages how she was manipulated, gaslighted, and made emotionally and financially bankrupt, was heartbreaking. She starts off with her infamous 2014 appearance in the X Factor finals in UK where viewers could see her bruised eye and needle marks on her arm. Melanie had overdosed on pills and was hospitalised for the same. It made headlines globally.
She jumps back in time to talk about her upbringing in Leeds. Born to a black father and a white mother in the 70s, she grew up unsure of who she was. She talks about her strict father who was, at times, loving and sensitive, and at others, cold and detached. His iron fist on the family drove a wedge between them as his repeated attempts to discipline her only fueled her rebellion. This pattern would come up in Mel's relationship with men - who were controlling, manipulative and possessive.
A huge chunk of the book is devoted to Eddie Murphy, who she dubs the love of her life. They had a short courtship, she got pregnant, and moved in with him. Soon, she got frustrated with his controlling ways - he wouldn't let her leave the house, he wanted to keep her in front of his eyes - and in true Ross and Rachel fashion, they took a break. Unfortunately it didn't end well. She refused to take up his calls and he foolishly announced to a press reporter that he didn't know if the child was his and that he'd need a DNA test to confirm his paternity. The sad part of this was that this interview happened right during the time she was flying from UK to his place in US. Understandably, she ended things there and then.
Lost and heartbroken, she soon met Stephen, the man who would marry her and be the focal reason behind this book. Mel B saw that Stephen was a 'player' through and through and admired his confidence. The whole Eddie saga had barely ended and Stephen had already started pursuing her shamelessly, which made her feel he really liked her. Sadly, she was a meal ticket for his fortune. She writes how no one, literally no one liked him from the get go. Not her parents, not the Spice Girls, not her ex-husband, not even her daughter, and not her long term assistant and friend Janet, who ended up quitting soon afterwards.
Although it is a one sided story, Mel B describes in agonizing detail about the toll it took on her. How he had slowly ended her contact with her family, taken over the finances of the house, called all the shots for her, and kept her imprisoned in the house. He confused her by praising her effusively and insulting her the next minute. He'd bring in women and ask her to participate in threesomes which he recorded. He filmed her doing alcohol and drugs and threatened to ruin her life. He told her she was a terrible mother in front of her children. He spent her money like water and blew close to 38 Million pounds during their decade long marriage. Mel, smitten and confused, continued to stay imprisoned in this relationship, confusing his possessiveness for love and his abuse for the result of his upbringing in a broken home.
Mel B writes how after earning 80 Million pounds across her 2 decade long career, she left with her daughters and $936 in a joint account. And that too, only when her father passed away. She couldn't bear the thought of Stephen releasing the sex tapes, which he often threatened to, and risk her father seeing it. She only mustered the courage to turn her life around when her father had breathed his last.
This book was, first and foremost, true to the title. It was brutally honest. Mel B didn't flinch from sharing the most intimate of details, and some of them really make you flinch. She is not a brilliant writer though, so don't expect any quote that might stick with you. The language is simple and sometimes too repetitive. She emphasises upon the same things over and over, and admits that her ADHD and dyslexia is to blame. The timelines jump randomly and she mixes in incidents old and new and switches paragraphs for no reason.
Nonetheless, it was a gritty book. You may view it as a cautionary tale of what happens in Hollywood, you may view it as the story of people in abusive relationships, or you may view it as a woman's story from a working class family to international fame. But Mel B deserves praise for not holding her tongue, and showing that she may very well be back to the persona that people have loved her for.
April 21, 2022
I am not a fan of showbiz news, but this popped up as included with my Audible membership, and I have a personal interest in mental abuse histories (unfortunately), so I decided to try this. Well, Mel does what she promised, it is completely brutally honest. It is a harrowing narrative. It is terrifying what a person can do to another person, and not all domestic abuse is physical.
December 9, 2020
Originally a three star review but I upped it to 4 on reflection of my favourite books of the year. This is one of them, so it had to be at least 4...
While listening to this audiobook I was thinking back to when me, my sisters and neighbours choreographed routines to Wannabe, which Spice Girl I actually really WANTED to be. I was always Posh but I know she wasn't my favourite. I think it has always been Mel B for me. Her confidence and Leeds accent just hooked me, and she's been the one whose post Spice Girls life and career has interested me most.
I was, at first, disappointed that Mel wouldn't be reading the audiobook herself but all her reasons make so much sense, and the actress she chose was so good I genuinely forgot on several occasions that it WASN'T actually her.
When she says Brutally Honest, she really means it. This book is tough. I can't imagine being able to read it if I knew her.
There's an interview at the end of the audiobook where the last words are along the lines of "maybe every teenager should have a copy of this book" and I mainly agree.
The only reason this loses a star is because of the structure. It jumps around a lot, which may have been easier on the page but listening to the audiobook, often while driving, this got a bit confusing.
While listening to this audiobook I was thinking back to when me, my sisters and neighbours choreographed routines to Wannabe, which Spice Girl I actually really WANTED to be. I was always Posh but I know she wasn't my favourite. I think it has always been Mel B for me. Her confidence and Leeds accent just hooked me, and she's been the one whose post Spice Girls life and career has interested me most.
I was, at first, disappointed that Mel wouldn't be reading the audiobook herself but all her reasons make so much sense, and the actress she chose was so good I genuinely forgot on several occasions that it WASN'T actually her.
When she says Brutally Honest, she really means it. This book is tough. I can't imagine being able to read it if I knew her.
There's an interview at the end of the audiobook where the last words are along the lines of "maybe every teenager should have a copy of this book" and I mainly agree.
The only reason this loses a star is because of the structure. It jumps around a lot, which may have been easier on the page but listening to the audiobook, often while driving, this got a bit confusing.
May 14, 2019
The title of this book is pretty dead-on as far as content. Mel B. (Scary Spice) walks you through both the fun and the harrowing parts of her life with brutal honesty. Having been a big Spice Girls fan, it was fun to see some of the inside stories and hear of their tight friendship. The sharing of her doomed marriage to Stephen Belafonte was shocking and eye-opening in its description of the horrible abuse suffered not only by her, but her children and pets, at his hands. It takes a lot of courage to speak of not only the horrifying things he did, but the things that she also did in attempts to appease him, lessen her shame and eventually escape his brutality.
Parts of the storyline were a little disjointed, in that they bounced back and forth chronologically until at some points, I wasn't sure what era we were in. I blame that on her dyslexia and ADHD, which she also freely talks about throughout this book. All in all, this was a much better book than I anticipated, as it is so much more than a memoir. It is a shockingly honest look into not only the life of a celebrity, but the life of an abused woman searching for the love of her father in very self-desrtuctive ways.
Parts of the storyline were a little disjointed, in that they bounced back and forth chronologically until at some points, I wasn't sure what era we were in. I blame that on her dyslexia and ADHD, which she also freely talks about throughout this book. All in all, this was a much better book than I anticipated, as it is so much more than a memoir. It is a shockingly honest look into not only the life of a celebrity, but the life of an abused woman searching for the love of her father in very self-desrtuctive ways.
July 25, 2019
I give it three stars partly because my pride won't let me rate it higher. But it was totally addictive and I have been compulsively googling Mel B and watching her reality TV show clips since, shaking my fist at that toe rag Stephen. It's also really well narrated on audiobook by someone who sounds just like a less abrasive version of Mel B. None of the writing is exactly poetry - but I did like the thematic structure and the way it jumps through her life. It's like a really moreish, over the top, but human, celebrity magazine interview. And yes, that worked for this original era Spice Girls fan.
January 7, 2019
Y las Spice? :(
February 28, 2025
5 stars as it's someone's life and who am I to rate anything less. Interesting read.
January 2, 2019
I've only read two celebrity memoirs this year- this and Lily Allen's- but both are legitimately two of the most harrowing books I've read in the last twelve months. Unvarnished candour and deep introspection seem to have become a trend in the genre, and it's all the better for it.
This feels like the memoir of someone with severe ADHD, which is in fact what it is. The narrative skips back and forth over forty years of life, zooming in and out of key moments at breakneck pace. The avoidance of a traditional chronology makes it feel fresh, vivid and intimate. It also conveys the central theme of the books- that emotional abuse is so pervasive and damaging that it blackens and chars everything, even memories. Melanie is incapable of analysing any of her life outside the prism of the relationship which destroyed her sense of self. Everything -her restless childhood as a too-loud, too-black girl in Leeds; her painful relationship with her father; her success as a pop-star- are darkly filtered through the prism of her lost decade with Stephen. The descriptions of how gaslighting and abuse work are disturbing and important, not least because they complicate hackneyed media delineations of spousal abuse which may prevent those in abusive situations from recognising them as such.
Like Lily Allen's book, I often found myself cringing, or wondering if Melanie should be admitting this stuff in public. She is open about the fact that she continually exposed her children to dangerous and damaging situations, that she has terrible taste in men, and that she became a reckless drink and drug addict. She often comes across as narcissistic, selfish and impetuous, but she is also impossible not to root for. A force of nature who dropped out of her GCSEs to become a dancer in Blackpool, propelled herself into success through sheer force of will and became unflappably self-confident despite becoming inured to racist abuse throughout her childhood, this book perfectly captures the breathless personality which led to her nickname 'The Wind'.
Those looking for a neat or comprehensive Spice history will be disappointed- her life as a pop star is very much at the backdrop here, and the reader's knowledge of the well-worn Spice Girls story is wisely presumed. But the curious will find much to admire in a book which touches on British racial politics, the painful alienation of female adolescence, and the searing, fuck-everyone ambition that often crystallises among those written off before they even turn eighteen.
This feels like the memoir of someone with severe ADHD, which is in fact what it is. The narrative skips back and forth over forty years of life, zooming in and out of key moments at breakneck pace. The avoidance of a traditional chronology makes it feel fresh, vivid and intimate. It also conveys the central theme of the books- that emotional abuse is so pervasive and damaging that it blackens and chars everything, even memories. Melanie is incapable of analysing any of her life outside the prism of the relationship which destroyed her sense of self. Everything -her restless childhood as a too-loud, too-black girl in Leeds; her painful relationship with her father; her success as a pop-star- are darkly filtered through the prism of her lost decade with Stephen. The descriptions of how gaslighting and abuse work are disturbing and important, not least because they complicate hackneyed media delineations of spousal abuse which may prevent those in abusive situations from recognising them as such.
Like Lily Allen's book, I often found myself cringing, or wondering if Melanie should be admitting this stuff in public. She is open about the fact that she continually exposed her children to dangerous and damaging situations, that she has terrible taste in men, and that she became a reckless drink and drug addict. She often comes across as narcissistic, selfish and impetuous, but she is also impossible not to root for. A force of nature who dropped out of her GCSEs to become a dancer in Blackpool, propelled herself into success through sheer force of will and became unflappably self-confident despite becoming inured to racist abuse throughout her childhood, this book perfectly captures the breathless personality which led to her nickname 'The Wind'.
Those looking for a neat or comprehensive Spice history will be disappointed- her life as a pop star is very much at the backdrop here, and the reader's knowledge of the well-worn Spice Girls story is wisely presumed. But the curious will find much to admire in a book which touches on British racial politics, the painful alienation of female adolescence, and the searing, fuck-everyone ambition that often crystallises among those written off before they even turn eighteen.
January 18, 2019
I was 7 years old when the Spice Girls took the world by storm with their music and individuality. Those 5 women who screamed, "Girl Power!" were my role models growing up. Flawed but in my opinion, great role models. I will forever be proud to call myself a fan.
Melanie B was always my favorite. She was loud and in your face. Her love of leopard and camouflage, which I also love. I remember wishing I looked like her; her beautiful brown skin and wonderfully curly hair. Melanie has always come across as a strong and powerful woman, which I have always loved about her.
But even the strong can be vulnerable.
After her devasting break-up with Eddie Murphy, Melanie was very vulnerable. And unfortunately, there are many who prey on people in their times of weakness. This is what happened to Melanie. I've experienced this as well and usually, we don't see it at first. We're blind to what's happening. You know something isn't right; you know you are no longer who you used to be. You don't know what to do. It often feels like you are going crazy.
Melanie basically went through Hell. It broke her. It damaged her. But slowly, she is healing. And it took so much courage for her to share her story. I have always loved her and I think I do even more now. I relate to a lot of things she has been through as I've had similar experiences.
Melanie is a fierce and strong woman. She is famous. And one thing this book shows is that anyone can get into a toxic relationship. We are all weak at times. We're only human and we're flawed. We make mistakes. But Melanie has shown that it is also possible to get out of a bad situation. It is possible to heal.
A heartbreaking yet also empowering book. She is a Warrior woman. Much respect to Melanie for being brave enough to share her story.
Melanie B was always my favorite. She was loud and in your face. Her love of leopard and camouflage, which I also love. I remember wishing I looked like her; her beautiful brown skin and wonderfully curly hair. Melanie has always come across as a strong and powerful woman, which I have always loved about her.
But even the strong can be vulnerable.
After her devasting break-up with Eddie Murphy, Melanie was very vulnerable. And unfortunately, there are many who prey on people in their times of weakness. This is what happened to Melanie. I've experienced this as well and usually, we don't see it at first. We're blind to what's happening. You know something isn't right; you know you are no longer who you used to be. You don't know what to do. It often feels like you are going crazy.
Melanie basically went through Hell. It broke her. It damaged her. But slowly, she is healing. And it took so much courage for her to share her story. I have always loved her and I think I do even more now. I relate to a lot of things she has been through as I've had similar experiences.
Melanie is a fierce and strong woman. She is famous. And one thing this book shows is that anyone can get into a toxic relationship. We are all weak at times. We're only human and we're flawed. We make mistakes. But Melanie has shown that it is also possible to get out of a bad situation. It is possible to heal.
A heartbreaking yet also empowering book. She is a Warrior woman. Much respect to Melanie for being brave enough to share her story.
February 15, 2020
Terribly written. I empathize with Melanie's story but she is not a writer and the editor did not earn their paycheck with this book. It read more like a personal journal. Parts of it are so repetitive and unnecessary. The timeline is all over the place, especially in the beginning. And her tone just makes me feel like she's not fully dealt with all the pain and hurt and feelings of low self-worth. She needed more time to heal and find her true self before writing this book. I support her, and her journey, but I don't think this book was ready to be published.
July 8, 2021
Audio Book
Never been a fan of the Spice Girls but decided to give this book a go. Well I can honestly say I have completely change my opinion of Mel B after listening to this book. I felt this was a frank and honest insight into the trauma she has experienced over the past 20 years. Definitely worth a look at or listen to
Never been a fan of the Spice Girls but decided to give this book a go. Well I can honestly say I have completely change my opinion of Mel B after listening to this book. I felt this was a frank and honest insight into the trauma she has experienced over the past 20 years. Definitely worth a look at or listen to
December 27, 2018
I wanted to read this as it’s a powerful autobiography of a woman who was brutalised to the point when she was emotionally and mentally broken.
It made me cry at some points and made me cross at others that someone can destroy someone else intentionally.
I would urge people to read it.
It made me cry at some points and made me cross at others that someone can destroy someone else intentionally.
I would urge people to read it.
December 17, 2018
My vlog review here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbZ3T...
Displaying 1 - 30 of 525 reviews