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Remembered Forever: Our family's devastating story of domestic abuse and murder
Praise for Luke and Ryan Hart's 'A powerful, searing account from incredible brothers and an important contribution to our understanding of domestic abuse' Victoria Derbyshire'... a courageous account of domestic abuse and the devasting impact it has on families' Jeremy Corbyn MP'Relevant and inspiring' Chris Green, White Ribbon UKOn 19 July 2016, Claire and Charlotte Hart were murdered, in broad daylight, by the family's father. He shot his wife and daughter with a sawn-off shotgun before committing suicide.REMEMBERED FOREVER is the shocking story of what led to this terrible crime. Luke and Ryan Hart, the family's two surviving sons, lived under the terror of coercive control. Their father believed that his family members were simply possessions, never referring to them by their names ... just as Woman, Boy, Girl. Written by the boys, but laced with the voices of Claire and Charlotte, this gripping and moving account brings deeper understanding to the shocking crime of domestic abuse and homicide.Luke and Ryan Hart have become spokespeople for the victims who are so often silenced but must never be forgotten.
- GenresNonfictionTrue Crime
237 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 1, 2018
118 people are currently reading
291 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
August 3, 2018
This book has some very important things to say, unfortunately those important things got lost in too many words.
I'm a word nerd and I love big words but I sincerely wish the authors would rewrite this book to be more simple and straight forward. The topic is tremendously important and they have great insights to share but I couldn't finish it. I kept getting bored and scanned ahead. That shouldn't happen with such an important story. And their story, with it's sadly unacknowledged perspective, needs to be shared if we want to live in a better world.
I'm a word nerd and I love big words but I sincerely wish the authors would rewrite this book to be more simple and straight forward. The topic is tremendously important and they have great insights to share but I couldn't finish it. I kept getting bored and scanned ahead. That shouldn't happen with such an important story. And their story, with it's sadly unacknowledged perspective, needs to be shared if we want to live in a better world.
August 20, 2019
I read this book under the new title Remembered Forever, Our family's devastating story of domestic abuse and murder by Luke & Ryan Hart published by Orion, with a different cover, with their mother and sister on the front. This tragic story explains the domestic abuse their father put their mother through and how Charlotte, Luke and Ryan feared their father.
In reality domestic abuse/violence is highly complicated and unique in every situation. And believe me I've been through it with my violent ex husband and my own violent father, so I know that every father who is abusive or uses violence, the situation will be different. My heart goes out to Luke and Ryan who mother and sister they loved with all their hearts was killed by their violent father.
In reality domestic abuse/violence is highly complicated and unique in every situation. And believe me I've been through it with my violent ex husband and my own violent father, so I know that every father who is abusive or uses violence, the situation will be different. My heart goes out to Luke and Ryan who mother and sister they loved with all their hearts was killed by their violent father.
August 11, 2018
"On 19 July 2016 our father shot and killed our mum, Claire, and our nineteen-year-old sister, Charlotte. It was the result of decades of abuse and controlling and intimidating behaviour. He was a tyrant who wouldn’t let his family live outside of his domination. Our father was a terrorist living within our own home"
So goes the story of the Hart family, recounted by brothers Luke and Ryan, who survived to tell the world of their tragedy. Their message is that "gender violence is a product of the entitlement that comes from a misogynistic and patriarchal belief system". They rightly reject popular notions that mental illnessor acute emotional states such as sadness or anger provoke domestic abuse, or that the pain of divorce explains familicide. Luke and Ryan want us to know that such killers are not "normal guys" who simply "snapped". Abuse and violence are usually always a choice, regardless of life circumstances, stress levels or mental health issues such as depression.
As a psychiatrist I wholeheartedly agree with this message. Unfortunately, I fear that the impact of this book will be diluted by its poor writing style. The same points are repeated in ever lengthy sentences, with word choice that reads as though someone has scoured a theasaurus for every possible synonym of control, abuse and survival. This is interspersed with banal detail such as what food the brother's dogs ate after the murders (prompting a trip to the vet), the boxes crowding their new apartment, and the view out of the train-to-work window. This book could really have used the services of a good editor. As it stands, readers will be tempted to skim through the muddle of words and miss the message.
So goes the story of the Hart family, recounted by brothers Luke and Ryan, who survived to tell the world of their tragedy. Their message is that "gender violence is a product of the entitlement that comes from a misogynistic and patriarchal belief system". They rightly reject popular notions that mental illnessor acute emotional states such as sadness or anger provoke domestic abuse, or that the pain of divorce explains familicide. Luke and Ryan want us to know that such killers are not "normal guys" who simply "snapped". Abuse and violence are usually always a choice, regardless of life circumstances, stress levels or mental health issues such as depression.
As a psychiatrist I wholeheartedly agree with this message. Unfortunately, I fear that the impact of this book will be diluted by its poor writing style. The same points are repeated in ever lengthy sentences, with word choice that reads as though someone has scoured a theasaurus for every possible synonym of control, abuse and survival. This is interspersed with banal detail such as what food the brother's dogs ate after the murders (prompting a trip to the vet), the boxes crowding their new apartment, and the view out of the train-to-work window. This book could really have used the services of a good editor. As it stands, readers will be tempted to skim through the muddle of words and miss the message.
August 8, 2018
I want to preface this review by making very clear that I have nothing but sympathy for what these men have been through. I have never been through anything remotely close to what they have experienced and I wish them nothing but peace for the rest of their lives, and hope they are able to keep powering forward.
Sympathetic thoughts dealt with, I maintain that a memoir’s difficult subject matter, no matter how correct and autobiographical, does not preclude me from offering criticism of something that, at the end of the day, is a product. My criticism in this case is of the book as a book and not an attack on the character of the authors, or in any way a justification of the abhorrent actions that their father took.
One of the fellow reviews on this site says “This book has some very important things to say, unfortunately those important things got lost in too many words” and I couldn’t agree more. What I found initially distracting was the writing style. The book began alternating between the perspectives of each brother. Ryan’s served as a simple “this is how it happened” and Luke’s attempted to be more artistic. Ryan’s sections are by far the strongest as far as I am concerned.
I found Luke’s sections to be incredibly distracting and overwritten. One of the earliest sections that Luke writes talks about the dust in the air around him on a particular morning and “the explosive cocktail” of his mental state. Maybe this is how he writes everything (I’m not familiar with the brothers beyond this story) but it didn’t work for this book. It feels like he wasn’t content writing the brief summary of what happened and had to extend it. The issue is that extending the sentences in the manner he chooses doesn’t add anything to the book beyond the word count. For example he talks about initially talking to the police after being informed of what has happened to his mother and sister. This takes up 2 – 4 paragraphs with descriptions of how they expected pleasantries and took notes, but you don’t feel like you gain anything from the extra wording.
I haven’t read many memoirs of this nature yet, but there are plenty in my backlog. Reading this though I was taken back to a memoir of a similar emotional level I read earlier this year. Girl A was a far more compelling, and engaging, book. What made it work is that the entire time it read like it was written as a simple account, similar to how Ryan starts writing in this book. No flowery attempts at using big words or excessive similes, just an honest account of what happened in simple English as you would expect from someone who doesn’t write for a living. It won’t win any prestigious prizes for its creative use of the English language, but it’s not trying to be that kind of book.
The book then discusses the history of the family, identifying both risks and causes of domestic violence. There is good in the book for sure. When the Harts are told that, based on their accounts, they were victims of domestic abuse it addresses misconceptions, with a specific example that they previously believed that domestic violence was just drunken fathers beating their wives. For many this is still the image a lot of people have of domestic violence and the Harts’ learning of coercive control is a revelation that I’m sure a lot of people will also experience. I also agree with what the Harts assert regarding blaming victims: no victim is “asking for it”.
Unfortunately what the book also does is parrot talking points that the cause of domestic violence is the patriarchy and the violent beliefs of men without the evidence to back it up. Are these causes of domestic violence? In some cases yes, undeniably. Maybe it's naivety of the writing, but domestic violence has multiple causes and each case should be considered as is: there is not a one-glove fits all approach. If the book had shown this level of self-awareness I would not be so frustrated, but continually phrases such as “women suffer it, men create it” show either a lack of understanding or a wilful ignorance. A preface would have been enough to suggest awareness, but the book doesn’t have this. I appreciate that these can be very complex issues to discuss that require a lot of referencing, but when you set out to write a book informing people of domestic violence I’d expect that you’ve done the research and represent it fairly.
There are arguments a’plenty regarding whether domestic violence is inherently gendered and the incorrect notion that men cannot be victims of it. I personally take the stance that abuse is abuse regardless of whether it is man against woman, woman against man, man against man or woman against woman. Making sweeping assertions, and implications, that men are the only people capable of abusing women and children is doing more to damage society than to tackle the issues that are apparently present. Conversations regarding violence, gendered or not, need to be nuanced. I first read the forewords of the book and found them frustratingly intellectually dishonest.
Don’t misunderstand me, I will not for one second argue against the notion that women are predominantly victims in reported domestic violence cases. There is much more to the conversation of domestic violence than just that though because abuse is wrong no matter who it is happening to. Books like this, and Everyday Victim Blaming, are detrimental to the conversation instead of adding to it.
The best summation of this book is 61% of the way through the Kindle version. It states “the risk is that we reinforce easily digested simplifications in lieu of true representations. Domestic abuse is only understood correctly if we accept that many of our beliefs are conflicting, contradictory and unstable. We therefore risk only seeing the side of the story that is most visible”. In context, it is talking about abusers being capable of acting and hiding their “Hyde side”. How ironic that the book makes this clear observation and falls into the exact same trap.
This piece ended up being somewhat lengthy and I have no doubt that those who like the book will offer criticism of my review for being longer than it possibly should be. To that I would say that my thoughts are a tad more complicated than “I didn’t like the book” and my points needed to be expanded upon.
This story deserves to be heard, but I don’t think that this book is the best way to hear it. I would suggest that anyone who wants to hear about what happened directs themselves to the below article written by the Guardian. It’s a decent length and gives the Harts the opportunity to be quoted. I would argue that the article is more powerful than this book even if I still find some of the statements contentious.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2...
Sympathetic thoughts dealt with, I maintain that a memoir’s difficult subject matter, no matter how correct and autobiographical, does not preclude me from offering criticism of something that, at the end of the day, is a product. My criticism in this case is of the book as a book and not an attack on the character of the authors, or in any way a justification of the abhorrent actions that their father took.
One of the fellow reviews on this site says “This book has some very important things to say, unfortunately those important things got lost in too many words” and I couldn’t agree more. What I found initially distracting was the writing style. The book began alternating between the perspectives of each brother. Ryan’s served as a simple “this is how it happened” and Luke’s attempted to be more artistic. Ryan’s sections are by far the strongest as far as I am concerned.
I found Luke’s sections to be incredibly distracting and overwritten. One of the earliest sections that Luke writes talks about the dust in the air around him on a particular morning and “the explosive cocktail” of his mental state. Maybe this is how he writes everything (I’m not familiar with the brothers beyond this story) but it didn’t work for this book. It feels like he wasn’t content writing the brief summary of what happened and had to extend it. The issue is that extending the sentences in the manner he chooses doesn’t add anything to the book beyond the word count. For example he talks about initially talking to the police after being informed of what has happened to his mother and sister. This takes up 2 – 4 paragraphs with descriptions of how they expected pleasantries and took notes, but you don’t feel like you gain anything from the extra wording.
I haven’t read many memoirs of this nature yet, but there are plenty in my backlog. Reading this though I was taken back to a memoir of a similar emotional level I read earlier this year. Girl A was a far more compelling, and engaging, book. What made it work is that the entire time it read like it was written as a simple account, similar to how Ryan starts writing in this book. No flowery attempts at using big words or excessive similes, just an honest account of what happened in simple English as you would expect from someone who doesn’t write for a living. It won’t win any prestigious prizes for its creative use of the English language, but it’s not trying to be that kind of book.
The book then discusses the history of the family, identifying both risks and causes of domestic violence. There is good in the book for sure. When the Harts are told that, based on their accounts, they were victims of domestic abuse it addresses misconceptions, with a specific example that they previously believed that domestic violence was just drunken fathers beating their wives. For many this is still the image a lot of people have of domestic violence and the Harts’ learning of coercive control is a revelation that I’m sure a lot of people will also experience. I also agree with what the Harts assert regarding blaming victims: no victim is “asking for it”.
Unfortunately what the book also does is parrot talking points that the cause of domestic violence is the patriarchy and the violent beliefs of men without the evidence to back it up. Are these causes of domestic violence? In some cases yes, undeniably. Maybe it's naivety of the writing, but domestic violence has multiple causes and each case should be considered as is: there is not a one-glove fits all approach. If the book had shown this level of self-awareness I would not be so frustrated, but continually phrases such as “women suffer it, men create it” show either a lack of understanding or a wilful ignorance. A preface would have been enough to suggest awareness, but the book doesn’t have this. I appreciate that these can be very complex issues to discuss that require a lot of referencing, but when you set out to write a book informing people of domestic violence I’d expect that you’ve done the research and represent it fairly.
There are arguments a’plenty regarding whether domestic violence is inherently gendered and the incorrect notion that men cannot be victims of it. I personally take the stance that abuse is abuse regardless of whether it is man against woman, woman against man, man against man or woman against woman. Making sweeping assertions, and implications, that men are the only people capable of abusing women and children is doing more to damage society than to tackle the issues that are apparently present. Conversations regarding violence, gendered or not, need to be nuanced. I first read the forewords of the book and found them frustratingly intellectually dishonest.
Don’t misunderstand me, I will not for one second argue against the notion that women are predominantly victims in reported domestic violence cases. There is much more to the conversation of domestic violence than just that though because abuse is wrong no matter who it is happening to. Books like this, and Everyday Victim Blaming, are detrimental to the conversation instead of adding to it.
The best summation of this book is 61% of the way through the Kindle version. It states “the risk is that we reinforce easily digested simplifications in lieu of true representations. Domestic abuse is only understood correctly if we accept that many of our beliefs are conflicting, contradictory and unstable. We therefore risk only seeing the side of the story that is most visible”. In context, it is talking about abusers being capable of acting and hiding their “Hyde side”. How ironic that the book makes this clear observation and falls into the exact same trap.
This piece ended up being somewhat lengthy and I have no doubt that those who like the book will offer criticism of my review for being longer than it possibly should be. To that I would say that my thoughts are a tad more complicated than “I didn’t like the book” and my points needed to be expanded upon.
This story deserves to be heard, but I don’t think that this book is the best way to hear it. I would suggest that anyone who wants to hear about what happened directs themselves to the below article written by the Guardian. It’s a decent length and gives the Harts the opportunity to be quoted. I would argue that the article is more powerful than this book even if I still find some of the statements contentious.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2...
November 18, 2019
I think critics about the writing style aren’t exactly what this book is about. As a survivor of abuse your mental state isn’t like a normal person’s. Of course a person who hasn’t lived abuse, let alone from birth on cannot get how the thought patterns race and change and in the middle of writing you’re everything the 5 year old, the 15 year old, the young adult. This book is not about writing styles or words or grammar it is to tell their story. It’s also not for enjoyment.
I’ve grown up in deeply entrenched generational abuse in all ways you can imagine. I’ve fled from my home country to America just to end up in an abusive marriage. No I live in yet another country far away from all family ties, trying to heal my own children from what they had to live because it took me years to make a safe exit.
If you’re looking for entertainment, this isn’t your book. If you’re looking to see how survivors cope, manage and survive, if you want to know how to help others, what questions to ask then this is your book.
Yes each abusive situation is different but the coping strategies people develop are similar.
I’ve grown up in deeply entrenched generational abuse in all ways you can imagine. I’ve fled from my home country to America just to end up in an abusive marriage. No I live in yet another country far away from all family ties, trying to heal my own children from what they had to live because it took me years to make a safe exit.
If you’re looking for entertainment, this isn’t your book. If you’re looking to see how survivors cope, manage and survive, if you want to know how to help others, what questions to ask then this is your book.
Yes each abusive situation is different but the coping strategies people develop are similar.
January 8, 2019
An incredible read
This is not a light read and nor is it misery porn where the writers go over the specific details of their own abuse. Instead it’s a well researched piece about domestic abuse and coercive control in particular. A very thought-provoking read.
This is not a light read and nor is it misery porn where the writers go over the specific details of their own abuse. Instead it’s a well researched piece about domestic abuse and coercive control in particular. A very thought-provoking read.
September 3, 2018
Heart breaking story
This raises such awareness of domestic abuse and shows it does not have to be physical, such a sad story for the family.
This raises such awareness of domestic abuse and shows it does not have to be physical, such a sad story for the family.
April 5, 2022
Heat breaking but so inspiring
What strikes me more than the terrible tragedy is the strength of these young men and there honesty. The recognition that their fathers abuse was a result of a patriarchal society and not any other reason and their determination to speak out is amazing. When people say not all men I say look to Luke and Ryan, this is what you should aspire to be
What strikes me more than the terrible tragedy is the strength of these young men and there honesty. The recognition that their fathers abuse was a result of a patriarchal society and not any other reason and their determination to speak out is amazing. When people say not all men I say look to Luke and Ryan, this is what you should aspire to be
Read
September 8, 2019This is not a book you give a star rating to. Every respect to these brothers for speaking up about the warning signs of a coercive relationship. The book reads more as an accademic approach to the subject, rather than purely autobiographical.
August 29, 2018
A brutal accurate description of a tragic situation. Everyone should read this.
March 24, 2019
Operation Lighthouse
Written by Luke and Ryan Hart
It is a beautifully written book a tribute to a mother and a sister.
Luke and Ryan write about the horrific events that occurred on 19th July 2016- where their own father murdered both their mother and sister. How his behaviour of coercive and control affected the whole family.
It is truly heartbreaking to read but what both authors have achieved in writing the events in a tasteful way.
It is also a book that gives pointers on what to look for in regards to control domestic abuse and how not all abuse is physical
As I was reading it my heart went out to both Luke and Ryan.
It is a short read 193 pages.
Highly recommended 🌟🌟🌟🌟
Written by Luke and Ryan Hart
It is a beautifully written book a tribute to a mother and a sister.
Luke and Ryan write about the horrific events that occurred on 19th July 2016- where their own father murdered both their mother and sister. How his behaviour of coercive and control affected the whole family.
It is truly heartbreaking to read but what both authors have achieved in writing the events in a tasteful way.
It is also a book that gives pointers on what to look for in regards to control domestic abuse and how not all abuse is physical
As I was reading it my heart went out to both Luke and Ryan.
It is a short read 193 pages.
Highly recommended 🌟🌟🌟🌟
March 14, 2020
Firstly, i must say that these were the most horrific circumstances and my heart goes out to the brothers who wrote it. Unfortunately the style of writing was not for me and is more suitable for those doing some sort of thesis or research about domestic violence. When the boys are deacribing their family life and their feelings, thats really well written and pulls the reader in. However this was then all too frequently followed with facts, figures, speculations and quotes from various psychologists which had me skipping pages in the end. Unnecessary use of long, complex words had the feeling that this book is for academics only and at times, took away from the real story.
August 28, 2023
An incredibly moving book with a strong message through out.
Although the strength of the authors' opinions radiate through out this book, I do feel it was repetitive in places and a little disjointed, which made it hard to follow at times. But saying that, this is an extremely emotive and tragic event that the book recalls and the determination of the authors to shine a light on DV & it's effects is extremely powerful.
Thank you both for sharing your experiences. Your determination to overcome the tragedy you encountered is inspiring.
Although the strength of the authors' opinions radiate through out this book, I do feel it was repetitive in places and a little disjointed, which made it hard to follow at times. But saying that, this is an extremely emotive and tragic event that the book recalls and the determination of the authors to shine a light on DV & it's effects is extremely powerful.
Thank you both for sharing your experiences. Your determination to overcome the tragedy you encountered is inspiring.
March 23, 2021
The message from this book is really important and I was looking forward to reading it. However I feel the message gets missed due to the over wordy sentences. I got bored and would read ahead as I felt these sentences had no substance and meant that the story is lost.
Such a shame as I appreciate what Luke and Ryan were trying to do but I feel this whole book needs a rewrite in order for the story and message to be put across better.
Such a shame as I appreciate what Luke and Ryan were trying to do but I feel this whole book needs a rewrite in order for the story and message to be put across better.
June 13, 2025
Operation Lighthouse... DNF 20%
While the message in this book was and is important and I wish the brothers nothing but love and peace... the book however is not written well, a story whether its fiction or nonfiction should naturally flow from one sentence to the next but unfortunately this doesn't, I found the going from one brother to another irritating and in some places over written which it didn't need to be, the phase got lost in translation comes to mind.
While the message in this book was and is important and I wish the brothers nothing but love and peace... the book however is not written well, a story whether its fiction or nonfiction should naturally flow from one sentence to the next but unfortunately this doesn't, I found the going from one brother to another irritating and in some places over written which it didn't need to be, the phase got lost in translation comes to mind.
June 26, 2025
An important message but I did not like the writing style. Another review said “this book has some very important things to say, unfortunately those important things got lost in too many words” and that is exactly how I felt.
Felt like it dragged on, described and explained some things that weren’t necessary. They could have done a better job at this book! Was hard to read and took me longer than usual, wouldn’t recommend as a good read
Felt like it dragged on, described and explained some things that weren’t necessary. They could have done a better job at this book! Was hard to read and took me longer than usual, wouldn’t recommend as a good read
August 9, 2018
Operation Lighthouse
A brutal but honest descriptive of how two brothers overcome years of coercive abuse following the tragic murder of their mother and sister. Choosing life and happiness over bitterness and blame. Very empowering and extremely bravely written. I have learnt so much and have no doubt this will help others.
A brutal but honest descriptive of how two brothers overcome years of coercive abuse following the tragic murder of their mother and sister. Choosing life and happiness over bitterness and blame. Very empowering and extremely bravely written. I have learnt so much and have no doubt this will help others.
October 2, 2019
Such a sad story to read. Also very informative and detailed with signs to look out for which even I didnt realise.
That said I did struggle to read and finish this book, there just seemed to be far too much said, I often found myself scanning over pages.
This in no way is to take away from the horror that this family went through.
That said I did struggle to read and finish this book, there just seemed to be far too much said, I often found myself scanning over pages.
This in no way is to take away from the horror that this family went through.
January 16, 2020
A powerful and honest reflection about coercive control.
Amazed at their strength to not only write this book but their ability to share their story worldwide to educate others about domestic abuse.
In awe of their strength, vulnerability and meaning. Thank you
"They showed us that, despite an environment so destructive, we can always choose life and love"
Amazed at their strength to not only write this book but their ability to share their story worldwide to educate others about domestic abuse.
In awe of their strength, vulnerability and meaning. Thank you
"They showed us that, despite an environment so destructive, we can always choose life and love"
November 26, 2018
Luke and Ryan Hart have turned shocking, tragic circumstances into means to educate others on the dangers of coercive control in abusive relationships, and this is an intelligent, moving and inspiring read on how to recognise key symptoms of 'CoCo' and how to escape it.
January 18, 2020
A beautiful tribute to two people whose lives were unjustly taken from them. An amazing and perfectly articulated insight into family life where coercive control is present. A background into coercive control. Touching, interesting and powerful all at the same time.
March 11, 2020
Interesting but repetitive
I enjoyed the book and the science backing it up was enlightening. I found the pieces regarding their personal philosophy towards life and the commentary on abuse a but repetitive.
I enjoyed the book and the science backing it up was enlightening. I found the pieces regarding their personal philosophy towards life and the commentary on abuse a but repetitive.
October 13, 2021
An extremely informative view of coercive control with important themes running throughout. The idea that abuse needs to be physical is completely debunked in this harrowing true story of the effects of domestic abuse. Thank you to Luke and Ryan for sharing their story with the world.
August 11, 2025
A great book with amazing insights by 2 young men who had experienced the horrors of a household where coercive control was a way of life. Definitely worth reading to understand some of the underlying issues in this often unrecognised form of domestic violence.
August 29, 2018
A righteous rant on a disturbing, yet all too frequent happening behind many closed doors. Respect to these boys for who they are and what they’re aiming to do.
July 3, 2022
Heart breaking read
October 3, 2023
Audiobook
July 24, 2024
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