Latin History for Morons

by John Leguizamo

1 hr and 19 mins

Welcome to John Leguizamo’s hilarious and educational take on 3,000 years of Latin history in 80 minutes.

When his son gets a school assignment on heroes, John seizes the chance to teach him all about the great figures of Latin American history. But once he sets out on his irreverent crash course across three continents and three millennia of history—from conquistadores to cumbia, Montezuma to Menudo, and taking on the characters in all of it—he uncovers provocative truths that shock even him.

Entertainment Weekly called Latin History for Morons “boisterous and joyful” during its Broadway run at Studio 54, directed by Tony Taccone. A play that The New York Times says “poses sharp and timely questions of what culturally defines American identity,” Leguizamo’s newest solo adventure is educational and uproarious and is adapted exclusively for Audible.

Please Latin History for Morons contains adult language.

© 2019 John Leguizamo (P) 2019 AO Media LLC

Genres: History, Audiobook, Nonfiction, Humor, Historical

Audiobook

First published November 21, 2019

Reviews

[Dave Pink · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read reviews that say there’s “no history” in this, or it’s vulgar... they are missing the point and probably aren’t familiar with John’s work. All of his works are about HIS experiences. He tells us about his life and journey in his performances. Why would you listen to this expecting it to be one of “The Great Courses”. If anything you should listen to his experience and do what he is telling us he did, which was educated HIMSELF on the topic. He gives us tidbits of the knowledge he found in his research. Knowledge that IS NOT taught in schools. He even tells us his sources. Ultimately, this is another One Man Show by John Leguizamo which happened to be adapted for Audible. If he leaves you wanting more on the subject when it’s over, I think it may be fair to say, he effectively did what he set out to do with this piece.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this. I was hoping to be enlightened to new insights and historical facts. Unfortunately it was a lot of raunchy speech, silly behavior and unnecessary info dump. I think there’s about 20 minutes total of history, but it’s given so quickly it is hard to retain. I wish we could have had a longer history lesson that was more about the facts with a sprinkle of comedy. I feel if you are trying to enlighten people to a subject you should do so otherwise you have failed at your attempt and have lost your audience. However he did recommend some wonderful historical reads on the subject written by professionals that might be the better route to take.

[Steve Beaulieu · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quite literally no history. Just vulgar and hateful. To all my Latin friends, I’m sorry that this guy was chosen to represent you. Much love!

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Among the abundance of entertaining smartassery--Leguizamo is an equal-opportunity mocker--there are plenty of tragic and amazing facts. Living in the American Southwest, I like to think I'm a little more informed about some of this history than some; but there was a lot in this I didn't know. And for those who might roll their eyes and use the term "revisionist history" as a criticism--there are so many things that basic history texts skim over or avoid. So many people have not been properly represented, and it is absolutely true that the victors dictate how history is told. And just because people may have lost a battle, it doesn't make them any less heroic. Representation is important and powerful.
Those of you who take issue with explicit language should know that there are f-bombs aplenty and other more colourful turns of phrase here.

[Alan (the Lone Librarian rides again) Teder · Rating 3 out of 5]

Standup with Some History Tidbits
Review of the Audible Original audio production (Nov. 2019) of the original stage play

There was little actual history here in this studio audio production of Leguizamo's stage act which is built around a supposed search for Latin American historical figures to inspire his son's middle school project. It was peppered throughout with raunchy language which is usually a turnoff for me, but Leguizamo's energetic delivery and huge repertoire of voice characters and speech did win me over somewhat.

Trivia and Links
Two books that were mentioned during the audiobook that might be of interest were Charles Mann's 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus (2005) and Loreta Janeta Velázquez's The Woman in Battle: The Civil War Narrative of Loreta Janeta Velazquez, Cuban Woman and Confederate Soldier (1876).

Latin History for Morons is one of 9 Audible Theater titles that were available for free at https://www.audible.com/ep/theater-list for a limited time in March/April 2020. They are still available for a regular price.

[Pinky · Rating 5 out of 5]

1. I wanted to see John Leguizamo when he performed this at Overture in 2019
2. I get him. I think he’s smart, funny and talented
3. He sums it up best when he describes Columbus as the Donald Trump of the New World
4. I am forever grateful for and celebrate a culture that introduced the world to chocolate
5. I’m participating in Moore’s 21-Day Racial Equity Habit Building Challenge and I’m counting this as one of my activities
6. To any reviewers who did not think they were “welcome” while experiencing this - I encourage you to take some time to do your own racial equity work, because you are missing out on genius here. What else are you missing out on?

[Shuaibu Ibrahim · Rating 5 out of 5]

In three words: Informative, Funny, and Inspiring. As a result, I am now more determined to research my history as an African. In doing so, I believe I would be in a better position to creatively contribute to the healing that Africa so desperately needs. We can't let others tell our stories anymore.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

After listening to this one, I've added one title to my to-read list and moved two others up in the (long) queue. When John Leguizamo recommends three books to fill you in more thoroughly, this librarian listens. (Zinn's History of the US; Guns, Germs, & Steel; and 1491, the one that I added to my list.) It's funny and spot-on with the expected (by me, anyway) humor.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m really disappointed with this.
I can handle a fun, irreverent take on history.
But this is juvenile.
And at almost halfway through, not at all informative.

[Evangelina Gomez]

Obviously this isn't a read, rather audio for his show he did. I watched the show and was moved to have a better understanding of my culture and being even more proud of what we have contributed.

[Emilija · Rating 1 out of 5]

2019 52 Book Challenge - 36) A Humourous Novel

Honestly, this isn't my type of humour, so I really didn't enjoy it. I know that many people would find this funny, but it really wasn't for me.

[Faith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very little history. The delivery was extremely annoying and not amusing.

[Mike Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This Audible Original is a version of Leguizamo's current theatrical show. It's a great quick listen (not even 90 minutes). If you've ever seen Leguizamo perform before, you know that he is a fantastic storyteller who can easily slip into a wide variety of characters. In "Latin History for Morons" he uses some incidents at his son's school as a springboard into educating people on basic history of Latins. It's full of surprising stats and stories, many of which I'd heard previously -- but never all laid out in a single timeline.

Let's face it, Christopher Columbus was a motherfucker. Enough said.

Listen to this book!

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

Title: Latin History for Morons
Author: John Leguizamo
Format: Audible (Free)

[ Enjoyed ] Kind of.
[ Last Listened ] Today.
[ Relisten ] No thanks.

[ Cover Lust ] No.
[ Intriguing Title ] *shrugs*
[ Interesting Premise/Plot ] Not really.
[ Preview Impressions ] Did not preview.

[ Kept My Attention ] On and off.
[ Got Bored / Mind Wandering ] Occasionally.
[ Skimmed/Skipped Scenes/Chapters ] No.
[ Relistened Past Scenes For Fun ] No.
[ Relistened Past Scenes Cause My Memory Sucks To Clear Confusion ] No.

[ Stayed Up Late ] No.
[ Took a Long Break Midway ] No.
[ Ending Left Me Feeling ] Ha! I totally expected a cliche on who the hero is...only to be left dumbfound. (In a good way.)

[ Easy Light Listening ] *shrugs*
[ Turn Brain Off ] No.
[ Guilty Pleasure ] Mostly no.

Other thoughts I'm throwing in: (Might contain spoilers; I fail at identifying them.)
The title itself made me expect a comical but educational breeze through latin history. (Which I know almost nothing about.) At first I found Latin History for Morons entertaining but at some point I wondered how much of it is accurate. (Clearly the modernized embellished re-enactment isn't 100% faithful.) Since this isn't something in print where there would be a bunch of footnotes and sources listed right then and there I just couldn't help wonder if this is merely just entertainment.

There were some very interesting tidbits that never would have crossed my mind (thanks a lot, US history class) that seriously made me wonder WTF. It also made me think of a fantasy author where his series are in the same world but maaaaaaaaaaany years apart play on the idea that history is written by the victors. (Or something like that. I don't remember his exact words and I'm too lazy to dig it up.) How sad that we are taught history to not repeat mistakes and yet the history being taught isn't complete...

Towards the end the info/names were crammed (due to the story) and the final scene I really expected one of those heartwarming cliches. (And was wrong.) Does this make me want to dig deeper into latin history? No. (That's one of the school subjects I disliked. I can't bloody remember dates and names!) But Latin History for Morons did at least provide some info that SHOULD be general historical knowledge in the US.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's clear from some of the reviews, and the one that says they are not the target audience, you're wrong YOU ARE EXACTLY the target audience but you didn't understand that. I learned a long time ago, even from shows like 'You Are There' that in order to make the years and years of history that are taken in school, you HAVE to make it exciting, (re: entertaining),  and NOT all about dates and events alone. Yes, because I am an avid historian, I was not disappointed by the exact details and specificity, because I already knew what had happened. And this is trying to condense 500 years of history, (longer than the US has been a Nation). For those who don't get it, perhaps it would be better to have the history shoved down your throats in a similar fashion to how the invaders shoved their religion, culture, and morality down the throats of the Indigenous people. What galls me about what is taught in school is that it is all based on the European perspective of how this nation was settled and formed. But let us not look at some of the most remarkable historical cultures that were in America's own backyard, developing distinctly accurate calendars, astronomy, and math while most of Europe was slithering through its own muck and disease-infested homelands. Yes, you were the target audience because almost every Latino kid knows about what our ancestors did and what we had before that jerk on a mission from Spain accidentally bumped into the New World.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.0

I absolutely love the overall message of this book and it is definitely an angle that needs to be expanded upon. I think the author's intentions were well placed, but the delivery of that message is definitely not my style and helps to dilute the overall ideas. I can endure some of the profanity laced sections of the book as a by-product of the real hurt and frustration of the author and an entire group of underrepresented, underappreciated and mistreated people, but the raunchy jokes and stereotyping of other groups of people undermine the whole premise. I wish more time had been spent elaborating on the history of the Latin American people and less on stereotype heavy jokes. I am still glad I read this and it strengthens my resolve that the history of the American people needs more voices and more heroes at the table.

[Ursula Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a funny, profane, yet heartbreaking account of Latin history inspired by the author's son being bullied. He discovered that Latin history was not covered in his son's school and sets about learning of it to inspire his son about their heritage. I laughed and cried, since hearing about a little boy being called racist names is heartbreaking. I hope his son and others can be proud of their unique heritage and the gifts they bring to our country. Much of what was related I already knew, having learned of it on my own. Not for kids unfortunately. A great short entertaining performance.

[Phill Wesson · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s perhaps not for those that already know their history; To be honest the clues in the title. Also if you can’t stand crudity or swearing, steer clear. They don’t bother me in the slightest and I was still taken by surprise!

However, if you’re just plain and honestly ignorant of Latin history and want to expand ur knowledge a little bit, give it a shot. The man’s a true performer. It’s funny, got heart and even for those that were paying attention in history class, their are a few gems of facts hidden away. Certainly brightened up my afternoon.

[Andi Baker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Light and slightly muddled on explanation of Latin history. More like a funny rant on how Europen explores made their wealth exploiting others countries. No new info hear. On the other hand the back story about him trying to help his bullied son was worth the 4 stars if you are a fan of John Leguizamo’s stand up. I needed a laugh while taking a quick mental break from homeschooling my kids. Sigh 😔

[Mia Bailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading this book I was made aware that apparently I am not a Moron and know my American history. It was funny, an easy read, and had areas of filthy language and John's typical ghetto sly humor. Very good book and I am sure some will find it very informative and worth a bit of a chuckle.
Yes Latin American's, Native American's are real Americans and were here first.

Thanks John for helping to un-moronize us.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Part history, part story of a father trying to get close to his son, and all wonderful. Leguizamo is one of the best modern story-tellers, and I’ve been a fan since seeing his one-man shows on HBO in the 90s. Listen to the sample and then get this. You’ll have some laughs and maybe a few tears, but you’ll definitely enjoy it.

[Revellee · Rating 3 out of 5]

No deep history lessons but a lot of name dropping you can look up later. This is mostly an essay about raising his Latino son in a white-washed world and trying to come to terms together with their own place in the world and how Latin history has affected them. I identify with this struggle raising my own kids. Some old school Leguizamo jokes in here. Heh.

[Rikki · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh... I am just not the audience for humor/satire novels about serious subjects. The first 90% of the book was irreverent anecdotes tying in Latinx history. The last 10% was very endearing and inspiring - that being said, it felt like two unconnected books shoved together. I believe this is based on Leguizamo's one man show so perhaps I would have received it better as a theatrical piece.

[Amy Meyers · Rating 1 out of 5]

Only got five minutes in. I’m quite interested in comedic, engagingly-written history, but those five minutes had none of that, just a beginning of his experience filled with vulgarity. No thanks, I don’t need to be cursed at. I’ll read actual historical books. This is the third or fourth time I’ve regretted trying an Audible original.

[Javier Fernandez · Rating 2 out of 5]

Because I know the gist of the history maybe I'm just too smart for this. While it's enlightening to learn some of the minutiae associated with the history, it's presented in such a blatantly political and often moronic way, that I found it to be although at times interesting, never very entertaining or terribly funny.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this audible but I feel like if you are not a fan of John Leguizamo or ever heard his stand up comedy or anything this may not be for you. I love the way John Leguizamo and despite the history portion being small little snippets the overall story he tells is funny and wonderful.

[Arpolzin · Rating 2 out of 5]

A lot of personality and story telling from the Narrator. The language and humor are adult but the information is mostly short notes and asides, making up only a most basic introduction to the history. Mainly a spark to get you to look for my information in other sources.

[KC Comal · Rating 2 out of 5]

If only he had turned turned down the crass humor to focus more on the history, this would have been great. As it is, it was a great source for books I do want to read, beginning with Open Veins and Mirror.

[Alexander Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book.

[Arryanna Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it!!