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ذكي ولكن مشتت : أسلوب المهارات التنفيذية الثوري لمساعدة الأطفال على تحقيق إمكاناتهم
لا يوجد ما هو أكثر إحباطًا من رؤية طفل يمتلك إمكانات كبيرة ومع ذلك يواجه صعوبة في المهام والواجبات اليومية المعتادة - فيمكن للأطفال الآخرين في الصف الثالث الابتدائي مثلا إحضار كتاب الرياضيات معهم إلى المنزل, ثم إنهاء فروضهم المنزلية قبل وقت النوم. فلماذا لا تستطيع ابنتك القيام بذلك؟ بينما عندما تجلس معها, يتضح أنه يمكنها حل المسائل الرياضية, ويؤكد المعلم قائلًا إنها تفهم الدروس، كما يمكن لمعظم الأطفال في الروضة الانسجام مع من في الحجرة وقت العمل الجماعي لعشر دقائق دون التسبب في إزعاج يذكر، إذن كيف لا يستطيع ابنك - الذي تعلم القراءة قبل التحاقه بروضة الأطفال - أن يجلس دون حراك لأكثر من ١٠ ثوانٍ؟ وقد يكون لديك ابن عمره ٨ أعوام يرتب حجرته دون اعتراض يذكر, لكن بالنسبة للابن الآخر الذي يبلغ ١٢ عامًا فإن هذا العمل الروتيني يؤدي إلى حرب أسبوعية. وأبناء أصدقائك لا ينسون ورقة الإذن للخروج مبكرًا من المدرسة, ولا يضيعون المعاطف غالية الثمن، ولا يفقدون أعصابهم على الملأ. فلماذا لا يفعل أبناؤك ذلك؟
أنت تعرف أن طفلك يمتلك الذكاء والرغبة التي تمكنه من النجاح. إلا أن المعلمين, والأصدقاء, وربما والديك, وذلك الصوت الخافت المزعج في رأسك كلهم يقولون إنه لم يصل لإمكاناته بعد. لقد جربت كل شيء - بما في ذلك الاستعطاف, والصراخ, والتحايل, والتحفيز, والتفسير, وربما أيضًا تهديد طفلك أو معاقبته لحثه على بذل المزيد من الجهد والقيام بما هو متوقع منه أو التحلي بضبط النفس لكي يتصرف مثل الأطفال في سنه, ولم تجد أي من تلك الوسائل نفعًا.
إن ما قد يفتقر إليه طفلك هو المهارات. ولا يمكنك أن تقنع الأطفال باستخدام مهارات لا يمتلكونها بالضبط كما لا يوجد ما يقنعك بالنزول بأمان من على جبل شديد الانحدار في حين أنك لا تستطيع حتى النزول من على تل. قد تكون لدى طفلك رغبة شديدة وقدرة على القيام بما هو مطلوب منه لكنه لا يعرف طريقة القيام بذلك، وقد اكتشف العلماء الذين يدرسون نمو الطفل والمخ أن معظم الأطفال الأذكياء المشتتين يفتقرون ببساطة إلى طرق للتفكير تعرف بالمهارات التنفيذية؛ وهي مهارات المخ الأساسية المطلوبة لأداء المهام: التنظيم, والتخطيط, وبدء المهمة, والتركيز عليها, والتحكم في الدوافع, وكبت الانفعالات, والتكيف، والمرونة - أي ببساطة كل ما يحتاج إليه الطفل للنجاح في المهام المعتادة في مرحلة الطفولة في المدرسة, وفي المنزل، ومع الأصدقاء؛ حيث يفتقر بعض الأطفال إلى بعض المهارات التنفيذية أو يتأخرون في اكتسابها.
أنت تعرف أن طفلك يمتلك الذكاء والرغبة التي تمكنه من النجاح. إلا أن المعلمين, والأصدقاء, وربما والديك, وذلك الصوت الخافت المزعج في رأسك كلهم يقولون إنه لم يصل لإمكاناته بعد. لقد جربت كل شيء - بما في ذلك الاستعطاف, والصراخ, والتحايل, والتحفيز, والتفسير, وربما أيضًا تهديد طفلك أو معاقبته لحثه على بذل المزيد من الجهد والقيام بما هو متوقع منه أو التحلي بضبط النفس لكي يتصرف مثل الأطفال في سنه, ولم تجد أي من تلك الوسائل نفعًا.
إن ما قد يفتقر إليه طفلك هو المهارات. ولا يمكنك أن تقنع الأطفال باستخدام مهارات لا يمتلكونها بالضبط كما لا يوجد ما يقنعك بالنزول بأمان من على جبل شديد الانحدار في حين أنك لا تستطيع حتى النزول من على تل. قد تكون لدى طفلك رغبة شديدة وقدرة على القيام بما هو مطلوب منه لكنه لا يعرف طريقة القيام بذلك، وقد اكتشف العلماء الذين يدرسون نمو الطفل والمخ أن معظم الأطفال الأذكياء المشتتين يفتقرون ببساطة إلى طرق للتفكير تعرف بالمهارات التنفيذية؛ وهي مهارات المخ الأساسية المطلوبة لأداء المهام: التنظيم, والتخطيط, وبدء المهمة, والتركيز عليها, والتحكم في الدوافع, وكبت الانفعالات, والتكيف، والمرونة - أي ببساطة كل ما يحتاج إليه الطفل للنجاح في المهام المعتادة في مرحلة الطفولة في المدرسة, وفي المنزل، ومع الأصدقاء؛ حيث يفتقر بعض الأطفال إلى بعض المهارات التنفيذية أو يتأخرون في اكتسابها.
314 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 1, 2018
About the author
Peg Dawson
35 books41 followersPeg Dawson, Ed.D., received her doctorate in school/child clinical psychology from the University of Virginia. She worked as a school psychologist for 16 years in Maine and New Hampshire, and, for the past 18 years has worked at the Center for Learning and Attention Disorders in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, where she
specializes in the assessments of children and adults with learning and attention disorders and provides training on assessment, attention deficits, learning disabilities and executive skills.
Peg has many years of organizational experience at the state, national, and international level, and served in many capacities, including president, of the New Hampshire Association of School Psychologists, the National Association of School Psychologists, and the International School Psychology Association. She has also participated in many of NASP’s leadership initiatives, including the Futures Conference and the development of both the second and third Blueprint for the Training and Practice of School Psychology. She is the 2006 recipient of the National Association of School Psychologists’ Lifetime Achievement Award.
Peg has written numerous articles and book chapters on retention, ability grouping, reading disorders, attention disorders, the use of interviews in the assessment process, and homework. Along with her colleague, Dr. Richard Guare, she has written several books, including a manual on coaching students with attention disorders as well as books for both parents and professionals on executive skills.
specializes in the assessments of children and adults with learning and attention disorders and provides training on assessment, attention deficits, learning disabilities and executive skills.
Peg has many years of organizational experience at the state, national, and international level, and served in many capacities, including president, of the New Hampshire Association of School Psychologists, the National Association of School Psychologists, and the International School Psychology Association. She has also participated in many of NASP’s leadership initiatives, including the Futures Conference and the development of both the second and third Blueprint for the Training and Practice of School Psychology. She is the 2006 recipient of the National Association of School Psychologists’ Lifetime Achievement Award.
Peg has written numerous articles and book chapters on retention, ability grouping, reading disorders, attention disorders, the use of interviews in the assessment process, and homework. Along with her colleague, Dr. Richard Guare, she has written several books, including a manual on coaching students with attention disorders as well as books for both parents and professionals on executive skills.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 363 reviews
May 9, 2018
دليل ممتاز للآباء التعامل مع أطفالهم وكيفية الوصول بهم إلى أقصى قدراتهم
يخبرك كيف ينتهي الحال بالأطفال الأذكياء إلى أن يصبحوا مشتتين
لافتقارهم عدة مهارات يشرحها الكتاب
ويخبرك:
ليست المسألة أنهم غير قادرين على استقبال وتنظيم المدخلات التي تستقبلها حواسهم
وهو ما قد نعتبره "الذكاء" عادة
حين يتعلق الأمر بالقدرات الذهنية
نجدهم يتمتعون بلديهم الكثير منها
وتظهر المشكلة حين يحتاجوا إلى تنظيم المخرجات
أي تحديد التوصل إلى متى يفعلون شيئًا ثم ينظمون تنسيق سلوكهم لتحقيق ذلك
لأن وبسبب أنهم لديهم كل ما يتطلبه الأمر لاستيعاب المعلومات وتعلم الرياضيات واللغات والمواد الدراسية الأخرى
قد تفترض أن المهام الأبسط مثل ترتيب السرير أو تبادل الأدوار ينبغي ألا تتضمن بذل أي مجهود ذهني
لكن لا يحدث ذلك لأن طفلك قد يمتلك الذكاء لكنه يفتقر للمهارات التنفيذية لاستخدامه بالشكل الأمثل
لغة الكتاب بسيطة وأسلوبه مباشر ويناسب الجميع
July 24, 2012
I initially thought this book would be helpful in parenting kids with ADHD but it is really an excellent resource for parents of typically developing children as well as those with deficits in their executive functioning skills. I really should buy it as a reference. After reading it I finally understood something our psychologist had tried to explain to me previously - that attention and emotional regulation are linked. You use the same part of the brain for each of these skills so when you work on and strengthen one skill you may see improvement in the other executive functioning skill as well.
August 2, 2013
I'm still not sure I agree with the premise that school age children with executive skills deficits can really master them with just the proper training. Seems to me you can improve on some behaviors outwardly, but that personality and maturity level account for a lot more of what executive skills your child has mastered and can master.
That said, this book provided some interesting insights and some very good ideas for how to help most kids get back on track. For certain behaviors, the improvement plans they spell out are spot on. But these are in the simpler and more discrete areas that can be most tightly controlled by parents.
My most fundamental objection to how this book seeks to improve children's behavior, though, is the very tight control and oversight parents are supposed to have over their child's behavior initially. The idea is that the high level of control and oversight is to be gradually scaled back once the child starts to internalize the direction given by the parents. But, for me, that begs the question: how does a child learn *self* discipline when discipline is always externally imposed? If they are born with personalities that manifest certain executive skills deficits, will they truly be capable of internalizing and adopting these executive skills with repetitive training? Seems to me like saying you can train a genetically short child to become an NBA basketball player if you just work hard enough at it. Put another way, this book seems to suggest that all children are capable of mastering the full panoply of executive skills with the right training and practice. I hope this is true. It may be. I am just not convinced yet.
That said, this book provided some interesting insights and some very good ideas for how to help most kids get back on track. For certain behaviors, the improvement plans they spell out are spot on. But these are in the simpler and more discrete areas that can be most tightly controlled by parents.
My most fundamental objection to how this book seeks to improve children's behavior, though, is the very tight control and oversight parents are supposed to have over their child's behavior initially. The idea is that the high level of control and oversight is to be gradually scaled back once the child starts to internalize the direction given by the parents. But, for me, that begs the question: how does a child learn *self* discipline when discipline is always externally imposed? If they are born with personalities that manifest certain executive skills deficits, will they truly be capable of internalizing and adopting these executive skills with repetitive training? Seems to me like saying you can train a genetically short child to become an NBA basketball player if you just work hard enough at it. Put another way, this book seems to suggest that all children are capable of mastering the full panoply of executive skills with the right training and practice. I hope this is true. It may be. I am just not convinced yet.
November 16, 2015
The main idea of the book is that children who don't turn in assignments, don't clean their rooms, lose their belongings, etc., often do so because they suffer from executive skills deficits. Consequently, telling them to try harder, yelling at them, punishing them, and so on simply won't work: the children don't have the skills to do what you're asking. You need to solve the problem by teaching the skills instead of just getting mad about the symptoms of the problem.
Unfortunately, the authors fall prey to exactly the kind of thinking they warn the reader about. For example, when writing about kids who cry over little things (lack of the emotional regulation skill), they say:
"Let your child know that crying too much makes people disinclined to spend time with him or her. [...Tell them,] "When you use words, I'll listen and try to understand your feelings. If you start to cry, though, you're on your own. I'll either leave the room or ask you to go to your bedroom to finish crying.""
Really? A child is crying because they *don't have* the executive skills to express frustration and disappointment another way, and the plan is tell them that nobody likes them they way they are and then punish them by withholding affection? As it happens, I *was* one of those kids who cried a lot, and reading that section made me feel nauseated. Thank goodness my parents had some compassion, apparently unlike the authors.
In addition, the book is very repetitive and most of it is taken up by sample interventions. I would read parts 1 and 2 and skip the rest of the book, or only read chapters that address a skill you're really interested in helping your child improve.
Unfortunately, the authors fall prey to exactly the kind of thinking they warn the reader about. For example, when writing about kids who cry over little things (lack of the emotional regulation skill), they say:
"Let your child know that crying too much makes people disinclined to spend time with him or her. [...Tell them,] "When you use words, I'll listen and try to understand your feelings. If you start to cry, though, you're on your own. I'll either leave the room or ask you to go to your bedroom to finish crying.""
Really? A child is crying because they *don't have* the executive skills to express frustration and disappointment another way, and the plan is tell them that nobody likes them they way they are and then punish them by withholding affection? As it happens, I *was* one of those kids who cried a lot, and reading that section made me feel nauseated. Thank goodness my parents had some compassion, apparently unlike the authors.
In addition, the book is very repetitive and most of it is taken up by sample interventions. I would read parts 1 and 2 and skip the rest of the book, or only read chapters that address a skill you're really interested in helping your child improve.
February 6, 2012
At what point do you take something off your "currently reading" list and mark it "read"? I finally decided to after not picking this up for over a year! My pediatrician highly recommended it, but it wasn't as helpful to me as I'd hoped.
I'm pretty organized and logical myself, but *I* felt scattered as I read this book. Don't get me wrong, it has a lot of great elements. I just think many of us parents with ADHD kids already feel pretty overwhelmed with the daily issues we have to deal with. A book that feels (to me, anyway) like it complicates things is not really helpful.
I may just have to flip through the book and pull put the things (worksheets, etc.) that are most applicable to my child and not try to digest this book as a whole.
I'm pretty organized and logical myself, but *I* felt scattered as I read this book. Don't get me wrong, it has a lot of great elements. I just think many of us parents with ADHD kids already feel pretty overwhelmed with the daily issues we have to deal with. A book that feels (to me, anyway) like it complicates things is not really helpful.
I may just have to flip through the book and pull put the things (worksheets, etc.) that are most applicable to my child and not try to digest this book as a whole.
August 4, 2021
The two most useful takeaways from this book were 1) A breakdown of specific types of executive skills—response inhibition, working memory, etc.— and 2) the concept that if your kid has not yet developed an executive function, you have to be their “scaffolding” and provide support until they do develop it.
I really didn’t love their approach. They are, absolutely, thinking in terms of behavior modification. I have avoided that approach over the years—I am trying to raise a human over here, and once we get their souls and skills leveled up, the behavior will sort itself out. Hopefully. Presumably. I was looking for games and tactics that would help strengthen weaknesses, but instead they suggest…
ALL THE POINT SYSTEMS! They also are really into chore charts, lists, checklists, and jars of quarters by way of external motivation. I myself am not above a little salutary bribery in my parenting and use it to great effect, but… I wasn’t inspired. Among other things, they seem to believe that achieving strength in, say, organization, will naturally develop if Mom is organized enough for both of them until it becomes a habit. Hmm. I am not sure that’s how it works.
Third, this is specifically aimed at helping kids succeed at doing public school. Homeschooling wasn’t even on their radar, and that’s a pity, because homeschooling is a classic solution for the ADHD kid they are quintessentially talking about. There’s a lot of world out there to navigate besides school and sports practice, but I didn’t really see other situations described or addressed. Oh well.
I really didn’t love their approach. They are, absolutely, thinking in terms of behavior modification. I have avoided that approach over the years—I am trying to raise a human over here, and once we get their souls and skills leveled up, the behavior will sort itself out. Hopefully. Presumably. I was looking for games and tactics that would help strengthen weaknesses, but instead they suggest…
ALL THE POINT SYSTEMS! They also are really into chore charts, lists, checklists, and jars of quarters by way of external motivation. I myself am not above a little salutary bribery in my parenting and use it to great effect, but… I wasn’t inspired. Among other things, they seem to believe that achieving strength in, say, organization, will naturally develop if Mom is organized enough for both of them until it becomes a habit. Hmm. I am not sure that’s how it works.
Third, this is specifically aimed at helping kids succeed at doing public school. Homeschooling wasn’t even on their radar, and that’s a pity, because homeschooling is a classic solution for the ADHD kid they are quintessentially talking about. There’s a lot of world out there to navigate besides school and sports practice, but I didn’t really see other situations described or addressed. Oh well.
October 7, 2015
Parenting is a project, and you're just not given all the skills you need to do the job. Complicating that? The fact that as those kids get older, they start needing help developing some particularly sophisticated (executive) skills. What's worse? We're not all rocking five-star perfection ourselves in the executive skills department as adults. Also: it's really (REALLY) hard to know sometimes just how well-developed these skills should be at any given time, or how to help coach them to have those skills.
And while I wouldn't go so far as to say that this book changed all of that overnight for me and my kids... It has certainly given me an overflowing toolbox. In the three or so weeks it has taken me to read it, it has helped a lot. It pointed out some new strategies for how to talk to my kids, how to coach them through the moments when they're acting inappropriately, how to rehearse moments to prepare for them (never would have thought of that on my own!), and also when to (as the parent) chill out because a seven year old just isn't going to have that skill I'm apparently expecting.
Oh, and it's helped me see a few of my own short-comings, and how I can work on those skills with my kids.
Cannot recommend enough. I may need to buy a copy.
And while I wouldn't go so far as to say that this book changed all of that overnight for me and my kids... It has certainly given me an overflowing toolbox. In the three or so weeks it has taken me to read it, it has helped a lot. It pointed out some new strategies for how to talk to my kids, how to coach them through the moments when they're acting inappropriately, how to rehearse moments to prepare for them (never would have thought of that on my own!), and also when to (as the parent) chill out because a seven year old just isn't going to have that skill I'm apparently expecting.
Oh, and it's helped me see a few of my own short-comings, and how I can work on those skills with my kids.
Cannot recommend enough. I may need to buy a copy.
March 8, 2018
As a typical parent of a teen, I try to get any help available so that my kids and I can survive this period relatively unscathed. And I, as many parents surely believe, seem to find greater potential in my kids than their achievements have to show so far (by that I don't mean that they should play the violin and fluently speak five languages for me to judge their performance adequate, but simply that they could for example do their homework more efficiently and have better grades with less effort, or manage their time in a way that will have benefits for themselves too).
Anyways, the book was nothing if not practically oriented, had a ton of examples for situations we all have stumbled upon at some points, and what is more important, excellent tools to tackle them. Obviously many of the solutions described seemed a bit idealistic - a teen is often an emotional mess and it's not always easy to approach him or her with logical proposals and strategies. Nonetheless, applying some of the techniques described does seem to work, and generally the book is extremely helpful, not only due to its abundance of practical advice, but also thanks to the insights it lends into the reasons for some behaviors that could otherwise be easily - and wrongly - ascribed to laziness or lack of intelligence.
Last, but not least, I had to turn a critical eye on my personal executive abilities, for which, I am afraid, there is a vast room for improvement. It will be a joint journey, for me and my kids, and hopefully we'll all come out of it with all the skills required to reach our potential. It's never too late to achieve greatness!
Anyways, the book was nothing if not practically oriented, had a ton of examples for situations we all have stumbled upon at some points, and what is more important, excellent tools to tackle them. Obviously many of the solutions described seemed a bit idealistic - a teen is often an emotional mess and it's not always easy to approach him or her with logical proposals and strategies. Nonetheless, applying some of the techniques described does seem to work, and generally the book is extremely helpful, not only due to its abundance of practical advice, but also thanks to the insights it lends into the reasons for some behaviors that could otherwise be easily - and wrongly - ascribed to laziness or lack of intelligence.
Last, but not least, I had to turn a critical eye on my personal executive abilities, for which, I am afraid, there is a vast room for improvement. It will be a joint journey, for me and my kids, and hopefully we'll all come out of it with all the skills required to reach our potential. It's never too late to achieve greatness!
September 30, 2018
This book drove me crazy! I was so frustrated with the lack of citations. The authors clearly know their material and most of their interventions appear to be based on a behavioral foundation, but they never cited those foundations. Occasionally they'd write something like, "leading researchers say..." but never say who those researchers were! The book was recommended by a professional organization for professional educators in Kansas. I greatly respect those folks, so I though maybe I was being too hard on the writers, as BCBAs are not known to be gentle on published materials. But a teacher colleague independently thought the same thing I did.
The specific strategies are legitimate. But without citations, gives you nowhere else to go. Even when you take into consideration it is written for the lay person, it does not give the lay person anywhere to follow up and read more. There's only a list of books and resources at the end, but they aren't organized by topic. I know the authors are smart folks, with cv's far more impressive than mine. But, if a parent is seeking out a recommendation on the topic, I will send them to Sara Ward or Russell Barkley.
The specific strategies are legitimate. But without citations, gives you nowhere else to go. Even when you take into consideration it is written for the lay person, it does not give the lay person anywhere to follow up and read more. There's only a list of books and resources at the end, but they aren't organized by topic. I know the authors are smart folks, with cv's far more impressive than mine. But, if a parent is seeking out a recommendation on the topic, I will send them to Sara Ward or Russell Barkley.
April 5, 2013
I would recommend this book for all parents. The scope is much broader than the title and blurb imply. The book covers ages 4-14 and covers many different situations, such as behavior during play dates, getting along with siblings, overcoming anxieties, getting dressed independently, time management for long-term projects, and many more. The strategies are not just for children with an attention deficit.
I already owned the Audible version of this book, but I purchased the softcover version too for two reasons: (1) I liked it so much and (2) the organization of the book does not lend itself to an audiobook. There are questionnaires, example charts, and outlines, and there is a lot of cross-referencing between the chapters. This book falls just short of having a flowchart for being a parent in general. As a visual learner, I am very impressed with it.
The authors provide a general strategy. Then, for each executive skill, they provide several specific case examples, and they break down each example, showing how the problem and proposed solution fit into the steps of the general strategy.
Don't let the beginning of the book put you off. It begins like a textbook for a developmental psychology course. However, the later chapters are more parent oriented. Parents, just skip the beginning and use the cross referencing to leap to the chapters that address your most urgent concerns.
I already owned the Audible version of this book, but I purchased the softcover version too for two reasons: (1) I liked it so much and (2) the organization of the book does not lend itself to an audiobook. There are questionnaires, example charts, and outlines, and there is a lot of cross-referencing between the chapters. This book falls just short of having a flowchart for being a parent in general. As a visual learner, I am very impressed with it.
The authors provide a general strategy. Then, for each executive skill, they provide several specific case examples, and they break down each example, showing how the problem and proposed solution fit into the steps of the general strategy.
Don't let the beginning of the book put you off. It begins like a textbook for a developmental psychology course. However, the later chapters are more parent oriented. Parents, just skip the beginning and use the cross referencing to leap to the chapters that address your most urgent concerns.
December 4, 2019
يساعد الكتاب أولياء الأمور على ملاحظة المشكلة سواء كانت بسيطة كالتأخير في إنجاز الفروض المدرسية إلى مشاكل كبيرة كضعف الأداء المدرسي بشكل عام او صعوبات تعلم مختلفة و يرشدنا إلى الطريقة الصحيحة للتعامل معها.
يشير الكتاب لنقطة مهمة إن بعض المهارات التنفيذية أو الإدارية كما يسميها الكتاب مكتسبة من الوالدين فعندما نتعامل مع المشكلة يجب أن نحرص أننا نعي كوالدين نقاط ضعفنا و نعمل جنبا إلى جنب لتحسينها لأنها تنعكس على أبنائنا.
ليس هناك طفل غير قابل للتعلم او التغيير و لكن هناك آباء بذلوا مجهود أكبر و طلبو مساعدة من الخبراء عند الحاجة.
كتاب مهم لكل أب او أم أو تربوي يريد أن يفهم كيف يتعامل مع الأطفال و المراهقين و أن لا يصاب بالإحباط.
قراءة ممتعة للجميع .
يشير الكتاب لنقطة مهمة إن بعض المهارات التنفيذية أو الإدارية كما يسميها الكتاب مكتسبة من الوالدين فعندما نتعامل مع المشكلة يجب أن نحرص أننا نعي كوالدين نقاط ضعفنا و نعمل جنبا إلى جنب لتحسينها لأنها تنعكس على أبنائنا.
ليس هناك طفل غير قابل للتعلم او التغيير و لكن هناك آباء بذلوا مجهود أكبر و طلبو مساعدة من الخبراء عند الحاجة.
كتاب مهم لكل أب او أم أو تربوي يريد أن يفهم كيف يتعامل مع الأطفال و المراهقين و أن لا يصاب بالإحباط.
قراءة ممتعة للجميع .
December 9, 2019
كتاب يعالج المشاكل و الضعف الذي يواجهه بعض الناس في المهارات الإدارية الرئيسية و يعطي طرق و حلول و الكثير من التكتيكات و الإستراتيجيات التي يستطيع تنفيذها أي شخص.
October 8, 2017
Very helpful book in re-framing what I think I see and hear from my child. That is, it encouraged me to set aside the motives I often assume are behind many of my child's behaviors and see that maybe most of those behaviors are something entirely different than what I had judged them to be..
This is really a book I need to buy instead of checking it out from the library, so I can write in it and make more prolonged use of a lot of the information. The book offers “tests” to analyze what are the strongest and weakest “executive skills” of your child, and then offers ideas of how to strengthen weak skills. The parents reading this book can also take these tests. Maybe you will find out that the child's weakness is just like yours, and the two of you can work on improving it together. Or, you may find you have opposite strengths, which likely will drive each other crazy, but seeing this new way of framing the problem will likely make it easier for you while you work through the process of improving.
If the titles of any of these chapters sound like something you want to learn, you will probably like this book:
Chapters:
PART I:
How Did Such a Smart Kid End Up So Scattered?
Identifying Your Child's Strenghts and Weaknesses
How Your Own Executive Skill Strengths and Weaknesses Matter
Matching the Child to the Task
PART II:
Ten Principles for Improving Your Child's Executive Skills
Modifying the Environment: A is for Antecedent
Teaching Executive Skills Directly: B is for Behavior
Motivating Your Child to Learn to Use Executive Skills: C is for Consequence
PART III
Advance Organizer
Ready-Made Plans for Teaching You Child to Complete Daily Routines
Building Response Inhibition
Enhancing Working Memory
Improving Emotional Control
Strengthening Sustained Attention
Teaching Task Initiation
Promoting, Planning, and Prioritizing
Fostering Organization
Instilling Time Management
Encouraging Flexibility
Increasing Goal-Directed Persistence
Cultivating Metacognition
When What You Do Is Not Enough
Working with the School
What's Ahead?
This is really a book I need to buy instead of checking it out from the library, so I can write in it and make more prolonged use of a lot of the information. The book offers “tests” to analyze what are the strongest and weakest “executive skills” of your child, and then offers ideas of how to strengthen weak skills. The parents reading this book can also take these tests. Maybe you will find out that the child's weakness is just like yours, and the two of you can work on improving it together. Or, you may find you have opposite strengths, which likely will drive each other crazy, but seeing this new way of framing the problem will likely make it easier for you while you work through the process of improving.
If the titles of any of these chapters sound like something you want to learn, you will probably like this book:
Chapters:
PART I:
How Did Such a Smart Kid End Up So Scattered?
Identifying Your Child's Strenghts and Weaknesses
How Your Own Executive Skill Strengths and Weaknesses Matter
Matching the Child to the Task
PART II:
Ten Principles for Improving Your Child's Executive Skills
Modifying the Environment: A is for Antecedent
Teaching Executive Skills Directly: B is for Behavior
Motivating Your Child to Learn to Use Executive Skills: C is for Consequence
PART III
Advance Organizer
Ready-Made Plans for Teaching You Child to Complete Daily Routines
Building Response Inhibition
Enhancing Working Memory
Improving Emotional Control
Strengthening Sustained Attention
Teaching Task Initiation
Promoting, Planning, and Prioritizing
Fostering Organization
Instilling Time Management
Encouraging Flexibility
Increasing Goal-Directed Persistence
Cultivating Metacognition
When What You Do Is Not Enough
Working with the School
What's Ahead?
April 19, 2011
I didn't actually finish reading through all the techniques and examples at the end of the book, but I did read most of them. I'm going to call this one finished and use it as a reference as I need to.
This book really opened my eyes about how to deal with my daughter, who is NOT ADHD. I realized that I had been setting unrealistic expectations for her. Unfortunately, we have similar weaknesses, which makes me a sometimes ineffective coach. However, even realizing that has helped us find coping and scaffolding approaches which will work. For example, instead of an elaborate rewards chart which requires more commitment and consistency than I can give, we started a Hogwarts-esque system for both kids with jars and glass beads (although we never take points or "jewels" away for bad behavior). This has given us the flexibile and yet tangible way of recognizing good behavior and improvements for whatever it is that we are working on or that we notice.
This book also gave me a terminology, such as "scaffolding" to provide temporary support for new behaviors, which I can use with her teachers.
It's a work in progress and I'm frankly not sure if the techniques of the book have been as helpful as the fact that she is just getting older and more capable, but by changing my expectations and understanding of how to be an effective coach and teacher has made a world of difference in my satisfaction.
This book really opened my eyes about how to deal with my daughter, who is NOT ADHD. I realized that I had been setting unrealistic expectations for her. Unfortunately, we have similar weaknesses, which makes me a sometimes ineffective coach. However, even realizing that has helped us find coping and scaffolding approaches which will work. For example, instead of an elaborate rewards chart which requires more commitment and consistency than I can give, we started a Hogwarts-esque system for both kids with jars and glass beads (although we never take points or "jewels" away for bad behavior). This has given us the flexibile and yet tangible way of recognizing good behavior and improvements for whatever it is that we are working on or that we notice.
This book also gave me a terminology, such as "scaffolding" to provide temporary support for new behaviors, which I can use with her teachers.
It's a work in progress and I'm frankly not sure if the techniques of the book have been as helpful as the fact that she is just getting older and more capable, but by changing my expectations and understanding of how to be an effective coach and teacher has made a world of difference in my satisfaction.
November 29, 2012
Got this book to help my son with his organizational skills. The best part of the book for me was that the author broke apart the executive functioning skills into deeper categories; time management, working memory, emotional control, these were just a few of them. There were checklists to determine which of the categories you (or your child) were weakest or strongest for you.
It seemed that my son had 3 categories that were the weakest: I plan on working on those more.
Some of the ideas and strategies that they recommended were very common sense strategies. For example, making sure you are breaking apart directions. For those of us with special needs children, we are already doing many of these things. However, I would still recommend this book. It is more useful than not.
I will keep this book as a reference. I did really like all the checklists and forms they had. I plan on using the checklists, especially the one for cleaning your room.
It seemed that my son had 3 categories that were the weakest: I plan on working on those more.
Some of the ideas and strategies that they recommended were very common sense strategies. For example, making sure you are breaking apart directions. For those of us with special needs children, we are already doing many of these things. However, I would still recommend this book. It is more useful than not.
I will keep this book as a reference. I did really like all the checklists and forms they had. I plan on using the checklists, especially the one for cleaning your room.
April 10, 2019
I listened to the audiobook.
Had I not been listening to the audiobook, I would not have finished it. This is a very dry and serious book....and I think it is also a little outdated(the newer parenting ideas use a lot less micromanagement, which I believe is more effective). Unless your child is having specific problems with certain executive skills, you would probably benefit from a book that is more general and not so detailed. It goes into suggesting specific plans and strategies if your child is having trouble in one of the executive skills areas. Lots of good information, but I think most parents won’t get much from this book.
Had I not been listening to the audiobook, I would not have finished it. This is a very dry and serious book....and I think it is also a little outdated(the newer parenting ideas use a lot less micromanagement, which I believe is more effective). Unless your child is having specific problems with certain executive skills, you would probably benefit from a book that is more general and not so detailed. It goes into suggesting specific plans and strategies if your child is having trouble in one of the executive skills areas. Lots of good information, but I think most parents won’t get much from this book.
December 31, 2015
I had heard wonderful things about this book. Unfortunately, I found it underwhelming. My expectations were too high, I expect. The author makes very cogent and straightforward recommendations for parents to help guide their children in how the children can learn to manage the tasks in their lives (such as homework and chores). Everything Ms. Dawson recommends is logical and I believe her methods work. I just think they are extremely obvious.
April 1, 2013
How is it that all the good parenting books have to point out all that dysfunctional with the parents first!!??!! After I fix all my executive function weakness maybe I can be a more perfect parent-bah hahaha. Actually it's pretty good, lots of examples and strategies, helps break down the different exec functions and how they help and hinder and how to strengthen the weak ones.
January 3, 2019
Thank you very much indeed - jūtos stiprināta, ka esmu uz pareizā ceļa. Jau pirms kāda laika secināju, lai cik grūti ietu ar bērniem, ir divi cilvēki pasaulē, kuri nevar nolaist rokas sava bērna grūtību priekšā. Jo ja viņi to izdara, tad bērnam vairs nav neviena pieaugušā, kas viņu stiprina, iedvesmo, atbalsta, izglīto, lai kas arī notiktu. Mamma un tētis.
Pārsteidzoši, cik redzamas vāji attīstītās "vadības" iemaņas (executive skills) ir arī pieaugušos cilvēkos. Un nevis gausties, bet attīstīt tās - to, lūk, palīdz šī grāmata. Jo gausties nav vērts - ne par to man algu maksā :)
Pārsteidzoši, cik redzamas vāji attīstītās "vadības" iemaņas (executive skills) ir arī pieaugušos cilvēkos. Un nevis gausties, bet attīstīt tās - to, lūk, palīdz šī grāmata. Jo gausties nav vērts - ne par to man algu maksā :)
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September 5, 2025Useful general approach to teaching executive skills, so definitely handy, including for actually diagnosed ADHD kids (because teaching the skills is still useful, if more tricky). I appreciate that neurodiversity is way too fractal to be covered all in one book, but there were quite a few parts of this where I would have appreciated a little coverage of autistic intersectionality, especially given how commonly it occurs with ADHD, but also I note there's a new updated version of this book so perhaps that does better.
July 16, 2022
This was a hard read for personal reasons. I have inattentive-type ADD; as a schoolgirl I struggled with nearly every skill in this book; honestly, I still do. ADD just wasn't understood to this degree in the 1980s, and while I'm grateful to have the earliest diagnosis I've heard of for a girl - some of my coevals are only getting diagnosed now - the best anybody did was hand me Ritalin and give me a notebook to write assignments in, both of which were really pretty ineffectual interventions. Reading this, I see so much of what I needed and nobody knew to help me with. The understanding that comes - really in passing - near the end of the book, that the child and the parents and the teacher will *all* need to work harder was one of the many passages that brought me to tears. My school career, my self-compassion, my whole life, essentially - they all might have been different if this book had existed in the early 1980s.
November 27, 2025
A lot of good information for parents with practical examples. Knowing your own strengths and weaknesses is important to help your kids.
November 10, 2021
A very instructional reading for those parenting scattered kids. Easy to use instruments for testing which executive skills need improvement, both within kids and within their parents and very handy practical examples of routines for improving them. Very much based on a rewards system, though, so may be a bit tricky to practice all the time.
April 24, 2024
Weird parenting advice, combined with somewhat reasonable assumption that many deficits can be improved with practice and skill training. Improved being the key word here.
Painfully bad examples at times. Writing is meh. But the overall concept is fine. Just could have been done significantly better
Painfully bad examples at times. Writing is meh. But the overall concept is fine. Just could have been done significantly better
September 22, 2017
I read it cover to cover and feel bad that my wife spent our money to buy this. There were no answers to the problems with my young child in this book. If you think gold stars, sticker charts and dog biscuits can solve children’s problems, then you need a reality check. Dog biscuits work on dogs, and I have extensive experience training dogs professionally for the past decade. This book uses the same psychological techniques and terminology as dog training, with the hope that our children will follow along with the same concepts. Its worth a try. If it doesn’t work, you complain to the teacher and the school district like an entitled parent and make them do more work for you. That way, it’ll be their fault and not yours when your kid fails.
July 18, 2023
This is one of those 'sounds good on paper, but isn't the least bit realistic reads.' If I had 12 hours a day to spend obsessing over my child's executive functioning skills and an endless supply of money for all of the "incentives" I would have to offer (per this book), then sure, no problem. Also really confused about the extremely dated references (IMs, pagers, CDs) since this book was written in 2012?? This didn't make me feel like I had strategies to help my kids, but rather added onto my already crushing mom guilt for working full-time and NOT having all day to do this. Hard pass.
November 20, 2013
This book is geared primarily toward parents rather than teachers. I would love to see the authors write a teacher version of this that focuses on school situations. The concepts are transferable, of course, but it would be beneficial to discuss academic issues in terms of executive functioning. A worthwhile read for parents and teachers.
January 20, 2022
I found this book to be way too wordy without actually conveying information. The concepts behind the problems made sense, but the rest just seemed like fluff. The quizzes were too vague and not overly helpful. The resolutions were essentially dated chore charts. I had high hopes, but it was just meh.
September 6, 2013
Not just for kids with ADHD. There's some good information. A lot of good old fashioned common sense stuff. The true test is to see if I can integrate it into our routine
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March 20, 2015I listened to this and now my husband is reading it. I think this might be a book worth owning.
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