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Carla Brown & Nell Jackson #1
When I Lost You
__________________________
Former Crime Analyst Merilyn Davies brings to life a gritty, heart-stopping crime thriller that will have you utterly obsessed.
'Assured, fresh, engrossing' MEL SHERRATT
'Taut, authentic and sensitively told' CHRIS EWAN
‘Compassionately, confidently and beautifully written’ STEVE MOSBY
‘A breath-taking, page-turning read’ CLARE MACKINTOSH
'Fast-paced, authentic ... you’ll be desperate to get to the bottom of the case' CRIME MONTHLY MAGAZINE
__________________________
When a young couple are the lead suspects for the murder of their only child, Crime Analyst Carla Brown and DS Nell Jackson are assigned to investigate.
The evidence seems conclusive, but something just doesn’t feel right.
The case is quickly cast into doubt when the lead forensic pathologist starts receiving threatening letters – containing details only the police should know.
Who’s sending them? What do they want? And how did they get hold of the information?
As Carla and Nell dig deeper, it soon becomes clear that this case isn’t the first of its kind.
They must stop at nothing to find the truth – even if it hits close to home.
__________________________
Readers can't stop talking about When I Lost
‘An exciting and twisty police thriller’
‘A very unusual but gripping storyline’
‘I read this almost in one sitting as I was so gripped’
‘A first class debut, a mix of psychological thriller meets police procedural’
‘All the twists and turns kept me reading into the early hours’
‘I love the two main characters - I really hope we see more of them.’
‘Once I started, I couldn’t put it down.’
Former Crime Analyst Merilyn Davies brings to life a gritty, heart-stopping crime thriller that will have you utterly obsessed.
'Assured, fresh, engrossing' MEL SHERRATT
'Taut, authentic and sensitively told' CHRIS EWAN
‘Compassionately, confidently and beautifully written’ STEVE MOSBY
‘A breath-taking, page-turning read’ CLARE MACKINTOSH
'Fast-paced, authentic ... you’ll be desperate to get to the bottom of the case' CRIME MONTHLY MAGAZINE
__________________________
When a young couple are the lead suspects for the murder of their only child, Crime Analyst Carla Brown and DS Nell Jackson are assigned to investigate.
The evidence seems conclusive, but something just doesn’t feel right.
The case is quickly cast into doubt when the lead forensic pathologist starts receiving threatening letters – containing details only the police should know.
Who’s sending them? What do they want? And how did they get hold of the information?
As Carla and Nell dig deeper, it soon becomes clear that this case isn’t the first of its kind.
They must stop at nothing to find the truth – even if it hits close to home.
__________________________
Readers can't stop talking about When I Lost
‘An exciting and twisty police thriller’
‘A very unusual but gripping storyline’
‘I read this almost in one sitting as I was so gripped’
‘A first class debut, a mix of psychological thriller meets police procedural’
‘All the twists and turns kept me reading into the early hours’
‘I love the two main characters - I really hope we see more of them.’
‘Once I started, I couldn’t put it down.’
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First published July 1, 2019
74 people are currently reading
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 118 reviews
July 25, 2019
When DS Nell Jackson and DC Paul Mackintosh are called out to an infant death it seems like an open and closed case, the Pathologist declares it as an unnatural death so the evidence points to the parents!! But gut instinct told me that there is more to this case.
The pathologist Eve receives a letter saying not to send another innocent mother to prison for killing her child. DS Nell and crime analyst Carla Brown look at her other court cases where the mothers were convicted of murdering their children to see who is sending the letters. Can they trust Eve’s judgement?
This is a great crime thriller, loved the 2 strong female characters Nell and Carla. Having the analyst investigate the crime gave this book a refreshing angle that you don’t normally see in a murder story.
I read this in 1 sitting, the back story of Mary and Aoife meeting in a children’s home and being groomed by Alf the cafe owner is heartbreaking and has disastrous consequences for them both.
A book that will keep you gripped with characters that I hope we will read more about.
Thank you to Netgalley for my copy in exchange for a review.
The pathologist Eve receives a letter saying not to send another innocent mother to prison for killing her child. DS Nell and crime analyst Carla Brown look at her other court cases where the mothers were convicted of murdering their children to see who is sending the letters. Can they trust Eve’s judgement?
This is a great crime thriller, loved the 2 strong female characters Nell and Carla. Having the analyst investigate the crime gave this book a refreshing angle that you don’t normally see in a murder story.
I read this in 1 sitting, the back story of Mary and Aoife meeting in a children’s home and being groomed by Alf the cafe owner is heartbreaking and has disastrous consequences for them both.
A book that will keep you gripped with characters that I hope we will read more about.
Thank you to Netgalley for my copy in exchange for a review.
August 10, 2019
Several years ago a mother was convicted of murder. Now a baby has been found dead and the police pathologist points the finger at the young traumatised mother. Several years ago two abused girls were in a care home formed a bond that will connect them for the rest of their lives.
*Warning* this story covers child abuse, infant death and graphic descriptions, so the contents might upset some readers. It's gritty and harsh but it's also sensitivity told. The story switches frequently to thirty five years ago where two teenagers mat in a care home. I did guess where this story was going but that did not stop me from enjoying this book. A story that tells how hard justice can be to come by. I was hooked from the first couple of chapters.
I would like to thank NetGalley, Random House UK, Cornerstone and the author Merilyn Davies for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.
September 6, 2019
Ambitious, messily constructed and convoluted police procedural that becomes far-fetched.
Former crime analyst Merilyn Davies’ debut is an intriguing but rather convoluted police procedural that highlights the role of a civilian analyst and their valuable contribution to the intelligence gathering that informs investigations. An involving story with flashbacks to thirty-five years earlier, this is a novel that takes time for its focus to become clear and is best served by reading in sizeable chunks to make in-roads and keep on top of the initial slew of names that are quickly introduced.
When DS Nell Jackson and DC Paul Hare attend the scene of what looks to be a sudden infant death of a young baby on an estate in Oxford they are confounded when renowned Thames Valley forensic pathologist, Eve Graham, calls murder and definitively identifies the young mother as responsible and her older partner as a controlling influence. Under the management of a new ex-Met boss in DCI Bremer the detective duo are assigned to investigate the case and with their new boss having a broader interpretation of crime analyst’s Carla Brown’s role and taking her out of the office to interviews it immediately puts DS Jackson’s nose out of joint. Further complications arise when the pathologist receives a malicious letter implying she is falsifying evidence and with an recent overturned guilty verdict against another mother in a case that Eve testified on, it places a definite question mark over her supposedly impartial judgement. But with nearly thirty years experience and an admirable reputation, why Eve would possibly do such a thing baffles the team. The revelation that this letter is not the first of its kind leaves the team with not only a child’s death to investigate but whether there is any truth to Eve’s slanderous missives and if she could potentially be in danger.
Initially I was unsure whether analyst Carla or DS Nell Jackson was the primary protagonist and although Carla’s intelligence gathering supports and furthers the knowledge of the detectives, there is minimal close interaction between the pair. The police team are all credibly flawed characters and what Davies does wonderfully is bring them to life with a mix of flaws, strengths and doubts that together go along way to explaining their behaviour and responses under pressure, although they particularly felt like a cohesive unit. To add to the confusion the narrative alternates from Nell’s point of view to Carla’s, with each having their own feelings about the case and pathologist Eve and with the added complication that Carla’s mentor and first sergeant, Gerry, is married to the daunting pathologist. Far from plain sailing, Eve is obstructive, loathe to answer questions and has prickly and rather cold manner with her attitude seeming off from the get-go.
As the investigation progresses a second thread begins with flashbacks to a Portsmouth care home thirty-five year’s earlier and two vulnerable fifteen-year-old girls getting drawn into the clutches of a predatory male and being groomed, with their eventual fate going on to have far-reaching implications. For me this part of the storyline proved far more compelling than the present day investigation, but plausibility aspects and some ludicrously unlikely events as it unfolded meant my investment in the storyline waned. Together with much of the crime analyst’s role consisting of telephone data analysis and who called who on the night in question, I was decidedly lukewarm about this unusual police procedural. Although I did spot where the storyline was going in the final third of the novel and it largely confirmed my initial suspicions, it did feel like an extraordinary unlikely combination of events requiring several life courses to play out without their actions ever having been seriously challenged in the past. The denouement only served to illustrate how unrealistic the novel became, although it must be said that many potential trigger issues were handled with sensitivity.
Former crime analyst Merilyn Davies’ debut is an intriguing but rather convoluted police procedural that highlights the role of a civilian analyst and their valuable contribution to the intelligence gathering that informs investigations. An involving story with flashbacks to thirty-five years earlier, this is a novel that takes time for its focus to become clear and is best served by reading in sizeable chunks to make in-roads and keep on top of the initial slew of names that are quickly introduced.
When DS Nell Jackson and DC Paul Hare attend the scene of what looks to be a sudden infant death of a young baby on an estate in Oxford they are confounded when renowned Thames Valley forensic pathologist, Eve Graham, calls murder and definitively identifies the young mother as responsible and her older partner as a controlling influence. Under the management of a new ex-Met boss in DCI Bremer the detective duo are assigned to investigate the case and with their new boss having a broader interpretation of crime analyst’s Carla Brown’s role and taking her out of the office to interviews it immediately puts DS Jackson’s nose out of joint. Further complications arise when the pathologist receives a malicious letter implying she is falsifying evidence and with an recent overturned guilty verdict against another mother in a case that Eve testified on, it places a definite question mark over her supposedly impartial judgement. But with nearly thirty years experience and an admirable reputation, why Eve would possibly do such a thing baffles the team. The revelation that this letter is not the first of its kind leaves the team with not only a child’s death to investigate but whether there is any truth to Eve’s slanderous missives and if she could potentially be in danger.
Initially I was unsure whether analyst Carla or DS Nell Jackson was the primary protagonist and although Carla’s intelligence gathering supports and furthers the knowledge of the detectives, there is minimal close interaction between the pair. The police team are all credibly flawed characters and what Davies does wonderfully is bring them to life with a mix of flaws, strengths and doubts that together go along way to explaining their behaviour and responses under pressure, although they particularly felt like a cohesive unit. To add to the confusion the narrative alternates from Nell’s point of view to Carla’s, with each having their own feelings about the case and pathologist Eve and with the added complication that Carla’s mentor and first sergeant, Gerry, is married to the daunting pathologist. Far from plain sailing, Eve is obstructive, loathe to answer questions and has prickly and rather cold manner with her attitude seeming off from the get-go.
As the investigation progresses a second thread begins with flashbacks to a Portsmouth care home thirty-five year’s earlier and two vulnerable fifteen-year-old girls getting drawn into the clutches of a predatory male and being groomed, with their eventual fate going on to have far-reaching implications. For me this part of the storyline proved far more compelling than the present day investigation, but plausibility aspects and some ludicrously unlikely events as it unfolded meant my investment in the storyline waned. Together with much of the crime analyst’s role consisting of telephone data analysis and who called who on the night in question, I was decidedly lukewarm about this unusual police procedural. Although I did spot where the storyline was going in the final third of the novel and it largely confirmed my initial suspicions, it did feel like an extraordinary unlikely combination of events requiring several life courses to play out without their actions ever having been seriously challenged in the past. The denouement only served to illustrate how unrealistic the novel became, although it must be said that many potential trigger issues were handled with sensitivity.
March 22, 2024
DS Nell Jackson and PC Paul Mackintosh are called to a flat in Oxford with a report of the death of a baby. Sudden infant deaths are notoriously difficult to deal with, but the appearance of a pathologist makes the situation worse.
They are met at the flat by pathologist Eve Graham who indicates to them that she does not believe it to be an SID case, therefore murder. Even though it appears the father is aggressive in his demeanour, she indicates that the mother is responsible. They are not sure what to make of this.
Unbeknownst to the officers working on the case an anonymous letter is delivered to Eve at her place of work. She hands it over and says it is not the first. She is accused of lying in previous cases when mothers are imprisoned for murder. Analyst Carla is asked to look into it. The fact that she knows Eve socially, does not come to the fore.
In the past 6 years, Eve has given evidence in court and three women have been sent to prison. One of those was released recently after having her appeal heard and the judgement over turned. It appears that she is innocent.
Eve has a very good reputation as a brilliant pathologist and commands respect. Therefore, how did things go so wrong?
They are met at the flat by pathologist Eve Graham who indicates to them that she does not believe it to be an SID case, therefore murder. Even though it appears the father is aggressive in his demeanour, she indicates that the mother is responsible. They are not sure what to make of this.
Unbeknownst to the officers working on the case an anonymous letter is delivered to Eve at her place of work. She hands it over and says it is not the first. She is accused of lying in previous cases when mothers are imprisoned for murder. Analyst Carla is asked to look into it. The fact that she knows Eve socially, does not come to the fore.
In the past 6 years, Eve has given evidence in court and three women have been sent to prison. One of those was released recently after having her appeal heard and the judgement over turned. It appears that she is innocent.
Eve has a very good reputation as a brilliant pathologist and commands respect. Therefore, how did things go so wrong?
April 25, 2022
This book certainly had me hooked, I could barely put it down I loved it so much. I highly recommend that you read this book if you love Crime/Mysteries.
February 25, 2021
I have literally finished this book and just wow. There have been very few books that can take my breath away like this. I think I need to just take a minute……
….ok that minute did not work. I have to say this book is fantastic if you had not worked that out already. It is a chilling start to the book with the death of a baby, one that will always send shivers through me and then another death happens. Now as shocking as these are, they are not the story. No, the story is something much more intricate and devastating.
One thing I love about this book is that despite the fact I guessed where we were going within the story, Ms Davies was still making me doubt myself. I was adamant I had it figured out, but with the sleight of hand, I was floundering. Was it all as clean-cut as I thought?
Then the end, wow. It was shocking and fricking brave! I did not expect it coming and I loved that it is not what I thought was coming. I had a few tears forming, it was a powerful end, ending the way it all began. Just wow. Then the kidney punch in the epilogue. I mean Jeez! Well, enough said really, just read it.
This is a book that has been playing on my mind. My kindle has been itching to be read all day while I work. If it could talk I know it would be whispering at me to read. I just had to know what was going to happen. I have found Ms Davies writing such a treat. She has these threads of a story and she mixes everything up. We go to the past, we are in the present but we see everything from different perspectives, all adding to an explosive showdown.
I still have not scratched the surface of how epic I really think this book is. The fact we have the point of view of a crime analyst was a fresh look, as we see the behind the scenes rather than hard-hitting with the Detectives investigating. I love Nell, Carla, Paul and Bremner, their little unit does not always click, there is some grating on each other but they get results. At the end of the day, when it counts they have each other backs.
Just wow that is all I have to say. Roll on to the next book!!!!
….ok that minute did not work. I have to say this book is fantastic if you had not worked that out already. It is a chilling start to the book with the death of a baby, one that will always send shivers through me and then another death happens. Now as shocking as these are, they are not the story. No, the story is something much more intricate and devastating.
One thing I love about this book is that despite the fact I guessed where we were going within the story, Ms Davies was still making me doubt myself. I was adamant I had it figured out, but with the sleight of hand, I was floundering. Was it all as clean-cut as I thought?
Then the end, wow. It was shocking and fricking brave! I did not expect it coming and I loved that it is not what I thought was coming. I had a few tears forming, it was a powerful end, ending the way it all began. Just wow. Then the kidney punch in the epilogue. I mean Jeez! Well, enough said really, just read it.
This is a book that has been playing on my mind. My kindle has been itching to be read all day while I work. If it could talk I know it would be whispering at me to read. I just had to know what was going to happen. I have found Ms Davies writing such a treat. She has these threads of a story and she mixes everything up. We go to the past, we are in the present but we see everything from different perspectives, all adding to an explosive showdown.
I still have not scratched the surface of how epic I really think this book is. The fact we have the point of view of a crime analyst was a fresh look, as we see the behind the scenes rather than hard-hitting with the Detectives investigating. I love Nell, Carla, Paul and Bremner, their little unit does not always click, there is some grating on each other but they get results. At the end of the day, when it counts they have each other backs.
Just wow that is all I have to say. Roll on to the next book!!!!
October 15, 2019
Oh wow!! What a book. Not the usual police procedural but something different with an investigator Nell and Crime Analyst Carla. A new concept shown where the analyst digs through mountains of electronic data to assist the field investigators.
A young couple with a dead child suspected of unnatural causes brought pathologist Eve to the picture. 6 threatening letters written by Mary embroiled Eve deeper into another mystery of her past reports. Nell and Carla investigated.
A debut by Merilyn Davies got my interest soaring and my passions fired up. I love the way the story got me thinking about the possibilities and suspects. The chapters written about the past was an added flavor.
The story had two strong women analyzing the crime from different angles. There was a slow building up of trust. The author being an analyst has used her experience in the story, and that showed in the way this story was written. It was leaps different from the rest.
My passions were at its peak when the analyst showed her humane side and hid certain data. I was angry because she was supposed to be a police woman of sorts before other relationships. I kept taping on her name (read tapping the screen of my kindle) hoping to knock some sense into her.
Such were the emotions as I read through this intriguing one of a kind crime drama which was quite a convoluted story. You have to read it to believe it.
A young couple with a dead child suspected of unnatural causes brought pathologist Eve to the picture. 6 threatening letters written by Mary embroiled Eve deeper into another mystery of her past reports. Nell and Carla investigated.
A debut by Merilyn Davies got my interest soaring and my passions fired up. I love the way the story got me thinking about the possibilities and suspects. The chapters written about the past was an added flavor.
The story had two strong women analyzing the crime from different angles. There was a slow building up of trust. The author being an analyst has used her experience in the story, and that showed in the way this story was written. It was leaps different from the rest.
My passions were at its peak when the analyst showed her humane side and hid certain data. I was angry because she was supposed to be a police woman of sorts before other relationships. I kept taping on her name (read tapping the screen of my kindle) hoping to knock some sense into her.
Such were the emotions as I read through this intriguing one of a kind crime drama which was quite a convoluted story. You have to read it to believe it.
May 6, 2019
Present day - a baby is found dead, and the police pathologist points her finger at the young and clearly traumatised mother.
Several years ago - a mother is convicted of murder, convicted by the evidence of that same pathologist.
Thirty five years ago - two abused young girls meet in a care home and form a bond which will connect them for the rest of their lives...
When DS Nell Jackson and her colleague Paul attend an unexpected death scene they expect it to be a tragic case of sudden infant death, only for the pathologist to quickly determine that it's a murder case. Nell is dealing with a new DI, a hotshot catapulted into Thames Valley from the Met, and PTSD from an attack she is desperate to put behind her. Meanwhile Crime Analyst, Carla, is finding herself challenged, by both her DI's expansion of her role and Nell's hostility, while at home her boyfriend is desperate for her to settle down and become a mother. This new and disparate team have to find a way to work together while they investigate just why pathologist, Eve, has accused more mothers of murder than statistically likely and what, if anything, this case has to do with a tragic case of child grooming several decades ago.
The theme of motherhood, thwarted, unwanted, longed for, abandoned, runs through the core of this twisty, intelligent book. The various threads come together in a satisfying climax but only after a heart stopping ride through an Oxford Morse would never recognise, an Oxford of no hopes, homelessness and empty dreams.
This is a beautifully written, timely, sensitive book full of unforgettable characters and a team I hope we get to revisit in a future book (soon!). Put an afternoon aside to read this, because you won't want to put it down. Highly highly recommended.
Several years ago - a mother is convicted of murder, convicted by the evidence of that same pathologist.
Thirty five years ago - two abused young girls meet in a care home and form a bond which will connect them for the rest of their lives...
When DS Nell Jackson and her colleague Paul attend an unexpected death scene they expect it to be a tragic case of sudden infant death, only for the pathologist to quickly determine that it's a murder case. Nell is dealing with a new DI, a hotshot catapulted into Thames Valley from the Met, and PTSD from an attack she is desperate to put behind her. Meanwhile Crime Analyst, Carla, is finding herself challenged, by both her DI's expansion of her role and Nell's hostility, while at home her boyfriend is desperate for her to settle down and become a mother. This new and disparate team have to find a way to work together while they investigate just why pathologist, Eve, has accused more mothers of murder than statistically likely and what, if anything, this case has to do with a tragic case of child grooming several decades ago.
The theme of motherhood, thwarted, unwanted, longed for, abandoned, runs through the core of this twisty, intelligent book. The various threads come together in a satisfying climax but only after a heart stopping ride through an Oxford Morse would never recognise, an Oxford of no hopes, homelessness and empty dreams.
This is a beautifully written, timely, sensitive book full of unforgettable characters and a team I hope we get to revisit in a future book (soon!). Put an afternoon aside to read this, because you won't want to put it down. Highly highly recommended.
June 22, 2019
Although I had guessed who had done it before the end reveal. This book was still very well written. Had a lot of suspense and great characters
July 1, 2019
A new series, a new dynamic, a new mix!
What appealed me first when I received an email about When I Lost You was the author. Merilyn Davies was a former Crime Analyst with the MET. Not a police officer per say. I was spared the DC / DS / DI / DSI and all those abbreviations I have become accustomed to. What a change! I immediately wondered what this particular angle would add to a novel. Well, Merilyn Davies answered my question with a superb blend of police procedural and psychological thriller! We often put them together under the crime fiction banner and, even though elements of both genres are needed to create a good crime novel, plots usually lean towards one side or another. Not here. The balance of justice is holding two sides in perfect sync!
A baby died. I hear you! ‘It’s the parents’! We see it all the time. Statistics prove it. So, I wasn’t surprised when pathologist Eve Graham stated within the first pages that the death is not natural, and all eyes turn towards the parents. Who claim they have nothing to do with it. Don’t they all say this? Yet, something was off. My sleuth brain caught the vibe as quickly as my body can get a cold in the middle of summer. The contrast between DS Nell Jackson and pathologist Eve Graham was evident, but both felt trustworthy, and their arguments convincing. I remember thinking at this very moment ‘This is going to be tricky!!!’ I couldn’t wait to get tangled up in a battle of evidence against testimonies, instinct versus facts. Yummy!!! (I really sound mad, but I blame good crime fiction for this)
But before we get a chance to form our own opinion on the possible suspects, the author makes sure her protagonists leave their trace on the reader. I was pleasantly surprised by the gentleness showed by the officers on scene, the cold facts fought by details, like the victim’s name. Details, yes, but they make all the difference between human beings and robots. You don’t want to be only a number on a file. The realism of the first chapter caught me by surprise. The pages screaming authenticity made me shiver. This feeling stayed with me throughout the novel. I pictured every scene as if I were watching a TV show. Without all the weird inconsistencies we get on the screen!!! My appreciation for DS Nell Jackson was instantaneous. Some characters just click with you on the spot!
I was barely recovering from a strong beginning and my meeting a new team when a shadow got thrown at Eve in the form of a letter alluding to her past and hinting that her conclusions may not mirror the truth… But who had sent it? Why? An investigation on a child’s death is not a high-profile case, so targeting the police is useless. Unless…
This is where the plot gets cut in half. On one side, Nell and her team need to discover whether or not the baby’s parents are truly to blame, while on the other side, the seed of doubt creates turmoil in the lives of all sides involved. Allegations against a professional are serious, especially when this person can send someone in jail for a very long time!
When the dead baby’s father is found murdered, things get more complicated and questions arise. Where does the innocence lie?
Remember I talked about the blending of psychological thriller and police procedural? Merilyn Davies wrapped an apparent open and shut case into a giant bubble of lies and secrets, sending the reader back in time, forcing them to look for clues in every word, bringing them back to the present where a toxic smoke threatens to disrupt the course of justice.
Plot-wise, I was really impressed! Intertwined timelines and voices seemingly unconnected coming together one chapter after, like mosquitoes attracted to the fire, to deliver a splendid, horrendous, and exploding finale that left me blind. I had linked all the dots on the map, jumping from one difficult subject to the other, but I couldn’t decipher the image it created. I had a hard time processing the truth, and it took long minutes for the tension that had crept under my skin to release my body. From child abuse to murders, you get your fair share of what lurks in the dark.
But something else makes this book different, and oh-so-good!!!
Crime Analyst Carla Brown! Oh, I loved her ways, her tenacity and I need to thank the author for creating such a fascinating character. Carla is not just good at analyzing records and assisting those risking their lives on the field. Carla is a woman who cares, a perceptive colleague, and someone who won’t hesitate to go the extra mile to find the tiniest key which unlocks the door to reveal the truth. When the new boss asks her to tag along and interview people, pushing her to leave her office to be a full part of the team, she follows with trepidation, and I enjoyed this refreshing take on positions within the force. Police officers often get a magic call with traced numbers etc, but here, we get to see the actual work, the mind racing, the hours stretching to catch THE element which will make the difference.
What happens when work turns into something more personal?
If Nell and Carla begin as two clear atoms absolutely not ready to connect, the unraveling of events brings them together, creating a strong duo I would love to read more about!
When I Lost You brings a new voice, or should I say two new voices, to the genre, with a gritty and compelling plot which will satisfy the pickiest readers! It is a fantastic addictive debut!
What appealed me first when I received an email about When I Lost You was the author. Merilyn Davies was a former Crime Analyst with the MET. Not a police officer per say. I was spared the DC / DS / DI / DSI and all those abbreviations I have become accustomed to. What a change! I immediately wondered what this particular angle would add to a novel. Well, Merilyn Davies answered my question with a superb blend of police procedural and psychological thriller! We often put them together under the crime fiction banner and, even though elements of both genres are needed to create a good crime novel, plots usually lean towards one side or another. Not here. The balance of justice is holding two sides in perfect sync!
A baby died. I hear you! ‘It’s the parents’! We see it all the time. Statistics prove it. So, I wasn’t surprised when pathologist Eve Graham stated within the first pages that the death is not natural, and all eyes turn towards the parents. Who claim they have nothing to do with it. Don’t they all say this? Yet, something was off. My sleuth brain caught the vibe as quickly as my body can get a cold in the middle of summer. The contrast between DS Nell Jackson and pathologist Eve Graham was evident, but both felt trustworthy, and their arguments convincing. I remember thinking at this very moment ‘This is going to be tricky!!!’ I couldn’t wait to get tangled up in a battle of evidence against testimonies, instinct versus facts. Yummy!!! (I really sound mad, but I blame good crime fiction for this)
But before we get a chance to form our own opinion on the possible suspects, the author makes sure her protagonists leave their trace on the reader. I was pleasantly surprised by the gentleness showed by the officers on scene, the cold facts fought by details, like the victim’s name. Details, yes, but they make all the difference between human beings and robots. You don’t want to be only a number on a file. The realism of the first chapter caught me by surprise. The pages screaming authenticity made me shiver. This feeling stayed with me throughout the novel. I pictured every scene as if I were watching a TV show. Without all the weird inconsistencies we get on the screen!!! My appreciation for DS Nell Jackson was instantaneous. Some characters just click with you on the spot!
I was barely recovering from a strong beginning and my meeting a new team when a shadow got thrown at Eve in the form of a letter alluding to her past and hinting that her conclusions may not mirror the truth… But who had sent it? Why? An investigation on a child’s death is not a high-profile case, so targeting the police is useless. Unless…
This is where the plot gets cut in half. On one side, Nell and her team need to discover whether or not the baby’s parents are truly to blame, while on the other side, the seed of doubt creates turmoil in the lives of all sides involved. Allegations against a professional are serious, especially when this person can send someone in jail for a very long time!
When the dead baby’s father is found murdered, things get more complicated and questions arise. Where does the innocence lie?
Remember I talked about the blending of psychological thriller and police procedural? Merilyn Davies wrapped an apparent open and shut case into a giant bubble of lies and secrets, sending the reader back in time, forcing them to look for clues in every word, bringing them back to the present where a toxic smoke threatens to disrupt the course of justice.
Plot-wise, I was really impressed! Intertwined timelines and voices seemingly unconnected coming together one chapter after, like mosquitoes attracted to the fire, to deliver a splendid, horrendous, and exploding finale that left me blind. I had linked all the dots on the map, jumping from one difficult subject to the other, but I couldn’t decipher the image it created. I had a hard time processing the truth, and it took long minutes for the tension that had crept under my skin to release my body. From child abuse to murders, you get your fair share of what lurks in the dark.
But something else makes this book different, and oh-so-good!!!
Crime Analyst Carla Brown! Oh, I loved her ways, her tenacity and I need to thank the author for creating such a fascinating character. Carla is not just good at analyzing records and assisting those risking their lives on the field. Carla is a woman who cares, a perceptive colleague, and someone who won’t hesitate to go the extra mile to find the tiniest key which unlocks the door to reveal the truth. When the new boss asks her to tag along and interview people, pushing her to leave her office to be a full part of the team, she follows with trepidation, and I enjoyed this refreshing take on positions within the force. Police officers often get a magic call with traced numbers etc, but here, we get to see the actual work, the mind racing, the hours stretching to catch THE element which will make the difference.
What happens when work turns into something more personal?
If Nell and Carla begin as two clear atoms absolutely not ready to connect, the unraveling of events brings them together, creating a strong duo I would love to read more about!
When I Lost You brings a new voice, or should I say two new voices, to the genre, with a gritty and compelling plot which will satisfy the pickiest readers! It is a fantastic addictive debut!
August 10, 2020
Highly original and complex story. However, the style of writing is such that the novel flows along making it easy to read but requires concentration as the characters are interwoven.
I read the book over a couple of days and I think this gives the best experience, as dipping in an out might leave the reader confused.
There are harrowing details of exploitation of vulnerable characters but it is handled sensitively.
Would read more by this author.
I read the book over a couple of days and I think this gives the best experience, as dipping in an out might leave the reader confused.
There are harrowing details of exploitation of vulnerable characters but it is handled sensitively.
Would read more by this author.
July 17, 2019
5 Words: Mystery, blame, conflict, murder, abuse.
Content warnings: Infant death, child abuse, graphic descriptions of crime scenes.
Book Review: When I Lost You by Merilyn Davies
I feel that a lot of the author's own experiences as a crime analyst with the Met feeds a lot into the book - it feels like a completely authentic look at the job, full of first person research. It really comes across in the writing and it's fascinating. And definitely not a job that I could do.
When I Lost You is a bit police-procedural, a bit twisting thriller, and wholly addictive. It's gritty and harsh, but at the same time - and despite the content - it's sensitively told.
I did find the split timeline a little confusing at first, but I quickly got used to it and couldn't put the book down. It's a pretty compelling read, and even if I did guess the mystery it was still a bit fun and a satisfying whodunit, and I didn't see every twist coming.
I loved how When I Lost You ended, I felt like the ending was a fantastic way to bring everything together. I really hope that this is the beginning of a series, as I feel like there is a lot of scope for the stories of Carla and Nell to continue. And I feel like it would be an excellent TV series.
Content warnings: Infant death, child abuse, graphic descriptions of crime scenes.
Book Review: When I Lost You by Merilyn Davies
I feel that a lot of the author's own experiences as a crime analyst with the Met feeds a lot into the book - it feels like a completely authentic look at the job, full of first person research. It really comes across in the writing and it's fascinating. And definitely not a job that I could do.
When I Lost You is a bit police-procedural, a bit twisting thriller, and wholly addictive. It's gritty and harsh, but at the same time - and despite the content - it's sensitively told.
I did find the split timeline a little confusing at first, but I quickly got used to it and couldn't put the book down. It's a pretty compelling read, and even if I did guess the mystery it was still a bit fun and a satisfying whodunit, and I didn't see every twist coming.
I loved how When I Lost You ended, I felt like the ending was a fantastic way to bring everything together. I really hope that this is the beginning of a series, as I feel like there is a lot of scope for the stories of Carla and Nell to continue. And I feel like it would be an excellent TV series.
July 30, 2019
This was a solid crime read for me. I really enjoyed the police procedural aspects and the author’s background shines through here.
I did find the plot a bit overly complicated at times and had to re read several passages to make sure my understanding was correct. Overall the past and present structure did work but at times I felt there were too many characters to keep track of which detracted from my enjoyment of the novel a little bit.
Some difficult themes are dealt with here such as child deaths and grooming but the author deals with these sensitively and it never feels gratuitous.
I liked the police staff we meet in the novel, they are well rounded characters and I can see them being featured in further books in the series.
Overall this was a good read and a fairly gripping detective story, I just feel there were a couple of elements that could have been a bit ‘tidier’ for me to have enjoyed it even more.
Thank you very much to the author and publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I did find the plot a bit overly complicated at times and had to re read several passages to make sure my understanding was correct. Overall the past and present structure did work but at times I felt there were too many characters to keep track of which detracted from my enjoyment of the novel a little bit.
Some difficult themes are dealt with here such as child deaths and grooming but the author deals with these sensitively and it never feels gratuitous.
I liked the police staff we meet in the novel, they are well rounded characters and I can see them being featured in further books in the series.
Overall this was a good read and a fairly gripping detective story, I just feel there were a couple of elements that could have been a bit ‘tidier’ for me to have enjoyed it even more.
Thank you very much to the author and publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
July 3, 2019
A very intriguing story with a complex plot that I couldn’t wait to get back to every time I was forced to stop reading. As there are different timelines and lots of characters you do need to give the story full attention but it does reward. The procedural story line set in the present day is interesting but for me, the past story line is where this book really shines. The issue of grooming is very topical and the two girls and their relationship with each other and their groomer are brilliantly depicted. Although I had a hunch about what was going on I enjoyed seeing how the team got to the truth. I think the story would appeal to fans of The Ice Cream Girls.
June 11, 2019
I really enjoyed this book reading it in one sitting!
The book deals with some hard topics - the effects of abuse, dominance and grooming on individuals and the cost to both the individuals affected and those closest to them. It was very emotionally draining at times.
The latest no term effect on Mary of letting her friend die but saving her baby is catastrophic to all concerned. Her increasing delusions lead to the death of the child she had done so much to save.
The police procedural story almost secondary to the central drama.
The book deals with some hard topics - the effects of abuse, dominance and grooming on individuals and the cost to both the individuals affected and those closest to them. It was very emotionally draining at times.
The latest no term effect on Mary of letting her friend die but saving her baby is catastrophic to all concerned. Her increasing delusions lead to the death of the child she had done so much to save.
The police procedural story almost secondary to the central drama.
August 21, 2019
This is or has the potential to be a great storyline however I literally was so confused! Told from different points of view I spent the majority of the time wondering who was doing or thinking what!
It really prevented me from connecting with the book at all!
It really prevented me from connecting with the book at all!
August 28, 2019
My thanks to Random House U.K. Cornerstone /Arrow for an eARC via NetGalley of Merilyn Davies’ ‘When I Lost You’ in exchange for an honest review. As the price was appealing, I elected to purchase its ebook/e-audiobook combination for an immersive experience.
This is a police procedural set in Oxford. When a couple are accused of murdering their baby, Crime Analyst Carla Brown and D.S. Nell Jackson are assigned to the investigation. However, what appears to be a straightforward case is thrown into doubt when the lead forensic pathologist receives a letter accusing her of misleading the police. It transpires that she has received a number of similar letters.
Aside from the investigation, we get tantalising glimpses into the mind of the letter writer. Also, there are flashbacks to Portsmouth in the early 1980s and events concerning two teenage girls, who were residents of a care home and groomed and abused by an older local cafe owner.
The novel deals with difficult subjects: infant death, child abuse, and murder. It is a complex plot though it comes together beautifully building to a shattering climax.
Merilyn Davies has worked as a Crime Analyst for the Met so has firsthand knowledge of this particular role. I found this a very accomplished debut and am hoping that this will be the first of many from her pen.
Its cover art is very striking and atmospheric with the rocking horse toy and shadowy figure glimpsed through rain-splattered window.
This is a police procedural set in Oxford. When a couple are accused of murdering their baby, Crime Analyst Carla Brown and D.S. Nell Jackson are assigned to the investigation. However, what appears to be a straightforward case is thrown into doubt when the lead forensic pathologist receives a letter accusing her of misleading the police. It transpires that she has received a number of similar letters.
Aside from the investigation, we get tantalising glimpses into the mind of the letter writer. Also, there are flashbacks to Portsmouth in the early 1980s and events concerning two teenage girls, who were residents of a care home and groomed and abused by an older local cafe owner.
The novel deals with difficult subjects: infant death, child abuse, and murder. It is a complex plot though it comes together beautifully building to a shattering climax.
Merilyn Davies has worked as a Crime Analyst for the Met so has firsthand knowledge of this particular role. I found this a very accomplished debut and am hoping that this will be the first of many from her pen.
Its cover art is very striking and atmospheric with the rocking horse toy and shadowy figure glimpsed through rain-splattered window.
January 30, 2020
A police pathologist is called to a death of a baby and she believes the young parents have killed their baby. Several years ago - a mother is convicted of murder due to evidence of the same pathologist. 35 years ago - 2 abused girls meet in a care home and form a bond that will connect all the timelines together ✨ W O W, this book had me so lost. It is told from different timelines and it does have a lot of characters to keep track of but I kept with it and it did get better or I was just used to being confused (sorry!). I enjoyed the police work and the involvement of a crime analyst with the detectives. There were twists I didn’t see coming but due to the changing timelines it gets a 5.5/10 from me
March 6, 2020
Pacy and well written
July 7, 2019
With a prologue that had my eyes on stalks, When I Lost You grabbed my attention from its very opening page.
Meet DS Nell Jackson, unafraid to face the dangers in her job head on she has a pluckiness that makes her instantly likeable. Working with the extremely relatable Carla Brown (Crime Analyst) they are thrown into a case where nothing is as it seems and everything is at stake.
The short, punchy chapters make this a book that is hard to put down and its effortless flow coupled with twists galore meant that I was well and truly under its spell throughout.
The writing is assured, the disturbing elements of the plot that are unearthed as Nell and Carla battle to find out the truth add an element of vein chilling dread as they are revealed one by one, the tension ratcheting as we realise the enormity of the case that sits before them.
The feeling of discovering a new and exciting voice in crime fiction is one of the best and I can’t wait to see what Merilyn Davies does next!
Meet DS Nell Jackson, unafraid to face the dangers in her job head on she has a pluckiness that makes her instantly likeable. Working with the extremely relatable Carla Brown (Crime Analyst) they are thrown into a case where nothing is as it seems and everything is at stake.
The short, punchy chapters make this a book that is hard to put down and its effortless flow coupled with twists galore meant that I was well and truly under its spell throughout.
The writing is assured, the disturbing elements of the plot that are unearthed as Nell and Carla battle to find out the truth add an element of vein chilling dread as they are revealed one by one, the tension ratcheting as we realise the enormity of the case that sits before them.
The feeling of discovering a new and exciting voice in crime fiction is one of the best and I can’t wait to see what Merilyn Davies does next!
July 11, 2019
When I Lost You is a gripping, tense and harrowing read that I found hard to put down.
This book deals with the difficult issues of sexual abuse and grooming which made for difficult reading at times. The author does handle the situations sensitively without ever glorifying it for the story. This also makes the story seem more real and therefore emotional as you feel that this could actually have happened.
I enjoyed learning more about the analyst’s role which I didn’t know much about before starting this book. This also provided the reader with a different view of a police procedural than a normal detective one. The author used to be an analyst which made it more fascinating for me and made me wonder which parts of the book were based on her experiences.
One of the things I most enjoyed were the two strong females, Carla and Nell, in this book. I thought they made a great team and I liked following them as they solved the difficult case. I thought they handled everything they came up against with great skill and I loved that they were able to show everyone how capable they both were.
This is a book that draws you in immediately and I found very hard to put down. I kept promising myself I’d read just one more chapter but then kept having to read one more and then another and another. The ending was very clever and took me completely by surprise which I always love.
This is the author’s debut novel and I can’t wait to read more from her in the future. I hope we see more of Carla and Nell too as I thought they made a great team.
Huge thanks to Rachel Kennedy for my copy of this book and for inviting me onto the blog tour.
This book deals with the difficult issues of sexual abuse and grooming which made for difficult reading at times. The author does handle the situations sensitively without ever glorifying it for the story. This also makes the story seem more real and therefore emotional as you feel that this could actually have happened.
I enjoyed learning more about the analyst’s role which I didn’t know much about before starting this book. This also provided the reader with a different view of a police procedural than a normal detective one. The author used to be an analyst which made it more fascinating for me and made me wonder which parts of the book were based on her experiences.
One of the things I most enjoyed were the two strong females, Carla and Nell, in this book. I thought they made a great team and I liked following them as they solved the difficult case. I thought they handled everything they came up against with great skill and I loved that they were able to show everyone how capable they both were.
This is a book that draws you in immediately and I found very hard to put down. I kept promising myself I’d read just one more chapter but then kept having to read one more and then another and another. The ending was very clever and took me completely by surprise which I always love.
This is the author’s debut novel and I can’t wait to read more from her in the future. I hope we see more of Carla and Nell too as I thought they made a great team.
Huge thanks to Rachel Kennedy for my copy of this book and for inviting me onto the blog tour.
July 7, 2019
For DS Nell Jackson the City of Oxford brings the usual problems you’d expect to find in any place largely populated by students, and also more hard hitting crime – and the premise for When I lost you – Murder.
Nell is faced with an infantile death, that finds Eve Graham a pathologist blaming the mother, despite the mother giving details as to what happened. It echos a previous child’s death and subsequent prison term for Joanne, now released due to the the re-examination of her case.
But Eve starts receiving letters, the writer unknown and yet they know details, personal details, who’s sending them? – how do they know these thing about Eves past? A deep and dark past that comes back to haunt her and test her will.
Its up to Nell and her sidekick Carla Brown – crime Analyst – to solve these and find the individuals whove murdered the next victim, Connor O’Brian
Nell and Carla make a great team – and the fact that author Merilyn Davies worked as Crime Analyst herself, shows that the processes Carla goes through and the way Nell uses her police skills from the field are used in real life.
I think this book shows great thought and meticulous planning has gone in it to this strong debut and believe this is only the start for Merilyn Davies. Shes covered some sensitive subjects and handled them sympathetically and I for one will be following Nell & Carla’s progress and believe this is the start of something great for Jackson & Brown.
Nell is faced with an infantile death, that finds Eve Graham a pathologist blaming the mother, despite the mother giving details as to what happened. It echos a previous child’s death and subsequent prison term for Joanne, now released due to the the re-examination of her case.
But Eve starts receiving letters, the writer unknown and yet they know details, personal details, who’s sending them? – how do they know these thing about Eves past? A deep and dark past that comes back to haunt her and test her will.
Its up to Nell and her sidekick Carla Brown – crime Analyst – to solve these and find the individuals whove murdered the next victim, Connor O’Brian
Nell and Carla make a great team – and the fact that author Merilyn Davies worked as Crime Analyst herself, shows that the processes Carla goes through and the way Nell uses her police skills from the field are used in real life.
I think this book shows great thought and meticulous planning has gone in it to this strong debut and believe this is only the start for Merilyn Davies. Shes covered some sensitive subjects and handled them sympathetically and I for one will be following Nell & Carla’s progress and believe this is the start of something great for Jackson & Brown.
June 29, 2019
When a baby is found dead in her cot Carla Brown, a crime analyst, and DS Nell Jackson investigate. Although Eve, the pathologist is quite certain of events Carla is not convinced. Her analyst nerves are twitching & on further investigation reveals that she is right to be suspicious. However Eve is married to her oldest friend & mentor which makes things difficult.
The story switches frequently to thirty five years ago when two teenage girls are thrown together due to arriving at a care home at the same time. Having been let down by the people who should have protected them they form a bond that ties them more tightly than family.
Although I guessed what was going on it didn't stop this from being one of the most enjoyable books I have read for ages. It really grabbed the attention. It was great to see a police procedural seen through the eves of a civilian analyst. I do hope we'll get to read more about Carla Brown! The rest of the team were also worth getting to know. Thanks to Netgalley & the publisher for letting me read & review this great book.
The story switches frequently to thirty five years ago when two teenage girls are thrown together due to arriving at a care home at the same time. Having been let down by the people who should have protected them they form a bond that ties them more tightly than family.
Although I guessed what was going on it didn't stop this from being one of the most enjoyable books I have read for ages. It really grabbed the attention. It was great to see a police procedural seen through the eves of a civilian analyst. I do hope we'll get to read more about Carla Brown! The rest of the team were also worth getting to know. Thanks to Netgalley & the publisher for letting me read & review this great book.
August 6, 2019
Thrillers that don't give away the plot a few chapters in are the best. While I found this plot to be really intriguing, I already know who the perp was, sadly that took some of the thrills away. When I lost you is a debut by former Crime Analyst Merilyn Davies and her expertise and depth of knowledge shows throughout the book. The book has a good number of twists, but they're all concentrated towards the beginning and end. What's in the middle however makes up for an interesting read.
When a young couple are the lead suspects for the murder of their only child, Crime Analyst Carla Brown and DS Nell Jackson are assigned to investigate. The evidence seems conclusive, but something just doesn’t feel right. The case is quickly cast into doubt when the lead forensic pathologist starts receiving threatening letters – containing details only the police should know.
Who’s sending them? What do they want? And how did they get hold of the information?
As Carla and Nell dig deeper, it soon becomes clear that this case isn’t the first of its kind. They must stop at nothing to find the truth – even if it hits close to home.
Both the characters and plot in this book are compelling. The story is told in two timelines and focusses on child abuse and domestic violence. Most chapters from the "Then" part are extremely tragic and heart-breaking and also an eye-opener for the reality of the care system. DS Nell and Carla Brown make a very good team and I hope to see more of them. Although a few might see the ending coming, this was compelling and gritty - just how I like my thrillers to be. This book has great potential for a series. Most books I've read are mostly POV's from either the cops - or the victims and rarely even the perp, but I've not read any that focussed on a crime analyst as well, so I'm definitely intrigued with what Carla Brown has more to offer.
Thank You, NetGalley, Random House UK, Cornerstone and Merilyn Davies for an arc!
When a young couple are the lead suspects for the murder of their only child, Crime Analyst Carla Brown and DS Nell Jackson are assigned to investigate. The evidence seems conclusive, but something just doesn’t feel right. The case is quickly cast into doubt when the lead forensic pathologist starts receiving threatening letters – containing details only the police should know.
Who’s sending them? What do they want? And how did they get hold of the information?
As Carla and Nell dig deeper, it soon becomes clear that this case isn’t the first of its kind. They must stop at nothing to find the truth – even if it hits close to home.
Both the characters and plot in this book are compelling. The story is told in two timelines and focusses on child abuse and domestic violence. Most chapters from the "Then" part are extremely tragic and heart-breaking and also an eye-opener for the reality of the care system. DS Nell and Carla Brown make a very good team and I hope to see more of them. Although a few might see the ending coming, this was compelling and gritty - just how I like my thrillers to be. This book has great potential for a series. Most books I've read are mostly POV's from either the cops - or the victims and rarely even the perp, but I've not read any that focussed on a crime analyst as well, so I'm definitely intrigued with what Carla Brown has more to offer.
Thank You, NetGalley, Random House UK, Cornerstone and Merilyn Davies for an arc!
June 3, 2019
If you are into crime thrillers it would be hard to go past this book. Carla Brown, a crime analyst, and DS Nell Jackson investigate the suspected murder of a baby in which the mother is accused due to forensic evidence provided by Eve who is known for her thorough work.
However it is not long before the open and shut case starts to feel wrong leading Carla to look at other cases of child murder convictions in which Eve was the forensic scientist. This leads us back thirty-five years in time where two teenage girls are involved in a murder and missing baby case.
This is a book that I devoured in two nights. The plot is carefully thought out and touches on deep themes of mothering, loss and psychological damage. It also shows how justice is often hard to come by. While it is plot driven it is not at the expense of characterisation which makes this a great crime thriller. It grabs you from the get-go and keeps you engaged until the end. I could not fault this work so congratulations to the author and I look forward to reading her work in the future.
However it is not long before the open and shut case starts to feel wrong leading Carla to look at other cases of child murder convictions in which Eve was the forensic scientist. This leads us back thirty-five years in time where two teenage girls are involved in a murder and missing baby case.
This is a book that I devoured in two nights. The plot is carefully thought out and touches on deep themes of mothering, loss and psychological damage. It also shows how justice is often hard to come by. While it is plot driven it is not at the expense of characterisation which makes this a great crime thriller. It grabs you from the get-go and keeps you engaged until the end. I could not fault this work so congratulations to the author and I look forward to reading her work in the future.
June 3, 2019
If you are into crime thrillers it would be hard to go past this book. Carla Brown, a crime analyst, and DS Nell Jackson investigate the suspected murder of a baby in which the mother is accused due to forensic evidence provided by Eve who is known for her thorough work.
However it is not long before the open and shut case starts to feel wrong leading Carla to look at other cases of child murder convictions in which Eve was the forensic scientist. This leads us back thirty-five years in time where two teenage girls are involved in a murder and missing baby case.
This is a book that I devoured in two nights. The plot is carefully thought out and touches on deep themes of mothering, loss and psychological damage. It also shows how justice is often hard to come by. While it is plot driven it is not at the expense of characterisation which makes this a great crime thriller. It grabs you from the get-go and keeps you engaged until the end. I could not fault this work so congratulations to the author and I look forward to reading her work in the future.
However it is not long before the open and shut case starts to feel wrong leading Carla to look at other cases of child murder convictions in which Eve was the forensic scientist. This leads us back thirty-five years in time where two teenage girls are involved in a murder and missing baby case.
This is a book that I devoured in two nights. The plot is carefully thought out and touches on deep themes of mothering, loss and psychological damage. It also shows how justice is often hard to come by. While it is plot driven it is not at the expense of characterisation which makes this a great crime thriller. It grabs you from the get-go and keeps you engaged until the end. I could not fault this work so congratulations to the author and I look forward to reading her work in the future.
December 2, 2019
Sadly, unlike most of the other reviews, I simply could not follow this. The synopsis and first few chapters were fine - then I became totally confused with all the different names, etc. Must be me!
July 4, 2019
When a novel's prologue ends with the words "I did not kill my baby!" you get an idea in your head about how the story is going to go. On reading the synopsis too, you think that the book is about the couple who have lost their child and in a way it is. It's also so much more!
When I Lost You starts with DS Jackson and DC Mackintosh called to a flat in Oxford over a reported death of an infant. Nell Jackson is convinced that it's another Sudden Infant Death but on arrival Eve Graham, the pathologist tells them it's murder, and not only that but it was the mother who killed the little girl. Nell Jackson is back at work after being stabbed thanks to a crime analyst missing a vital detail so when she finds out the new DCI wants her to work closely with Crime Analyst Carla Brown, she can't help but be resentful.
Nothing about this case is as straightforward as it seems. There are letters being written to the pathologist, essentially calling her a liar and accusing her of ensuring innocent women have been convicted thanks to her testimony. Nell and Carla aren't entirely sure what to believe as they both know Eve but what if she is getting it wrong?
When I Lost You is part police procedural and part psychological thriller, told in two different timelines simply titled Then and Now. It's quite confusing at first, especially if you don't realize that's the case, but this is what makes the story such compulsive reading. Then is about two girls living in a care home and being groomed by a local cafe owner, Now is about three women who may or may not know more than they're saying. Carla is closely linked to Eve because of Eve's husband Gerry who was her first sergeant and is utterly determined that Eve would not have deliberately allowed innocent women to be sent to prison.
When I Lost You is a wonderfully addictive story, with a unique plotline, and twists and turns that you don't see coming. I will admit to trying to guess who certain people were quite early on in the book but it soon became evident that I was completely wrong. It does become obvious at one point, who the 'guilty party' is, but this doesn't take anything away from the story and it was fascinating seeing the different strands of the story coming together to an explosive ending.
When I Lost You is a gripping tale of loss, wrongful conviction, and abuse, which if not handled in the right way, could be distressing but Merilyn Davies has created a page-turner of a first novel in a wonderful location. Having gone to Oxford it was nice to see someone write about things other than the gleaming spires and students! I very much enjoyed the developing relationship between Nell and Carla and sincerely hope we get to see more of them in the future!
When I Lost You starts with DS Jackson and DC Mackintosh called to a flat in Oxford over a reported death of an infant. Nell Jackson is convinced that it's another Sudden Infant Death but on arrival Eve Graham, the pathologist tells them it's murder, and not only that but it was the mother who killed the little girl. Nell Jackson is back at work after being stabbed thanks to a crime analyst missing a vital detail so when she finds out the new DCI wants her to work closely with Crime Analyst Carla Brown, she can't help but be resentful.
Nothing about this case is as straightforward as it seems. There are letters being written to the pathologist, essentially calling her a liar and accusing her of ensuring innocent women have been convicted thanks to her testimony. Nell and Carla aren't entirely sure what to believe as they both know Eve but what if she is getting it wrong?
When I Lost You is part police procedural and part psychological thriller, told in two different timelines simply titled Then and Now. It's quite confusing at first, especially if you don't realize that's the case, but this is what makes the story such compulsive reading. Then is about two girls living in a care home and being groomed by a local cafe owner, Now is about three women who may or may not know more than they're saying. Carla is closely linked to Eve because of Eve's husband Gerry who was her first sergeant and is utterly determined that Eve would not have deliberately allowed innocent women to be sent to prison.
When I Lost You is a wonderfully addictive story, with a unique plotline, and twists and turns that you don't see coming. I will admit to trying to guess who certain people were quite early on in the book but it soon became evident that I was completely wrong. It does become obvious at one point, who the 'guilty party' is, but this doesn't take anything away from the story and it was fascinating seeing the different strands of the story coming together to an explosive ending.
When I Lost You is a gripping tale of loss, wrongful conviction, and abuse, which if not handled in the right way, could be distressing but Merilyn Davies has created a page-turner of a first novel in a wonderful location. Having gone to Oxford it was nice to see someone write about things other than the gleaming spires and students! I very much enjoyed the developing relationship between Nell and Carla and sincerely hope we get to see more of them in the future!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 10, 2019
It’s been a while since I read a police procedural but when I saw it was a Crime Analyst that had the starring role I grabbed my copy of When I Lost You and settled down for a different, fresher take on the crime fiction genre.
When officers arrive on the scene of a dead baby at home in her cot, the pathologist on call is quick to assign blame to the mother. DS Nell Jackson isn’t so sure, but pathologist Eve is adamant, the bruising on the child is too light to have been the brute of a father, it must have been the distraught mother. Doubt is cast on the pathologists opinion though when she receives a threatening letter which refers to similar cases which Eve has worked on in the past, one in particular where the mother spent two years in jail for killing her baby before having her conviction quashed after Eve’s dodgy evidence was thrown out of court. Information contained in the letters could only be known by someone close to Eve and close to the current investigation, leaving Crime Analyst Carla Brown stumped. To make things more complicated, when Carla starts digging into the investigation she finds that both the case of wrongful conviction and the most recent infanticide seem to have links to a case 35 years ago when two 15 year old girls find themselves in care together. What is it that links all three of these events together?
When I Lost You covers a range of delicate topics like child loss, domestic abuse, child abuse and grooming but they are all handled sensitively and well. The author Merilyn Davies is a former Crime Analyst for the Metropolitan Police which gives the story such an authentic feel to it without it being bogged down with too much police jargon. Davies uses just the right amount of technical terms to keep the reader interested but also feel like they are smack bang right in the middle of a live investigation as she draws from her personal experience.
Two alternating timelines, between past and present weave the story together seamlessly and the narrative flows almost effortlessly. The plot line is very well constructed, a slow burner that feeds the reader little bits of information, piece by piece, just enough to keep your attention piqued but to also ratchet up the tension and suspense. I had several theories going on in my head but it wasn’t till the end when all the threads were tied up that any were confirmed.
When I Lost You is a remarkably accomplished debut, reminiscent of Clare Mackintosh. I look forward to reading more from Merilyn Davies.
When officers arrive on the scene of a dead baby at home in her cot, the pathologist on call is quick to assign blame to the mother. DS Nell Jackson isn’t so sure, but pathologist Eve is adamant, the bruising on the child is too light to have been the brute of a father, it must have been the distraught mother. Doubt is cast on the pathologists opinion though when she receives a threatening letter which refers to similar cases which Eve has worked on in the past, one in particular where the mother spent two years in jail for killing her baby before having her conviction quashed after Eve’s dodgy evidence was thrown out of court. Information contained in the letters could only be known by someone close to Eve and close to the current investigation, leaving Crime Analyst Carla Brown stumped. To make things more complicated, when Carla starts digging into the investigation she finds that both the case of wrongful conviction and the most recent infanticide seem to have links to a case 35 years ago when two 15 year old girls find themselves in care together. What is it that links all three of these events together?
When I Lost You covers a range of delicate topics like child loss, domestic abuse, child abuse and grooming but they are all handled sensitively and well. The author Merilyn Davies is a former Crime Analyst for the Metropolitan Police which gives the story such an authentic feel to it without it being bogged down with too much police jargon. Davies uses just the right amount of technical terms to keep the reader interested but also feel like they are smack bang right in the middle of a live investigation as she draws from her personal experience.
Two alternating timelines, between past and present weave the story together seamlessly and the narrative flows almost effortlessly. The plot line is very well constructed, a slow burner that feeds the reader little bits of information, piece by piece, just enough to keep your attention piqued but to also ratchet up the tension and suspense. I had several theories going on in my head but it wasn’t till the end when all the threads were tied up that any were confirmed.
When I Lost You is a remarkably accomplished debut, reminiscent of Clare Mackintosh. I look forward to reading more from Merilyn Davies.
July 6, 2019
4 Stars from me
A book of two distinct halves which wrap around each other - one following the present day police investigation into the death of a baby - and one following the fate of two young girls who were in care 30 years ago.
I found the storyline featuring the care system, and the two girls trying desperately to find love in all the wrong places, to be by far the more compelling and would happily have read more about their tragic lives. It put me in mind of the recently televised documents regarding the mystery surrounding the disappearance and suspected murder of Charlene Downes.
Concentration is a must with this book and I did find myself muddled a couple of times when reading the present day police investigation side of things. Having said that, the main characters throughout the book are well crafted and highly engaging.
I really enjoyed When I Lost You and look forward to more from this author.
Synopsis: When a young couple are the lead suspects for the murder of their only child, Crime Analyst Carla Brown and DS Nell Jackson are assigned to investigate.
The evidence seems conclusive, but something just doesn’t feel right.
The case is quickly cast into doubt when the lead forensic pathologist starts receiving threatening letters – containing details only the police should know.
Who’s sending them? What do they want? And how did they get hold of the information?
As Carla and Nell dig deeper, it soon becomes clear that this case isn’t the first of its kind.
They must stop at nothing to find the truth – even if it hits close to home.
FORMER CRIME ANALYST MERILYN DAVIES BRINGS TO LIFE A GRITTY, HEART-STOPPING CRIME THRILLER THAT WILL HAVE YOU UTTERLY OBSESSED
'A compelling page-turner - assured, fresh, engrossing. I can’t wait to read more about Nell and Carla.’ - Mel Sherratt
A book of two distinct halves which wrap around each other - one following the present day police investigation into the death of a baby - and one following the fate of two young girls who were in care 30 years ago.
I found the storyline featuring the care system, and the two girls trying desperately to find love in all the wrong places, to be by far the more compelling and would happily have read more about their tragic lives. It put me in mind of the recently televised documents regarding the mystery surrounding the disappearance and suspected murder of Charlene Downes.
Concentration is a must with this book and I did find myself muddled a couple of times when reading the present day police investigation side of things. Having said that, the main characters throughout the book are well crafted and highly engaging.
I really enjoyed When I Lost You and look forward to more from this author.
Synopsis: When a young couple are the lead suspects for the murder of their only child, Crime Analyst Carla Brown and DS Nell Jackson are assigned to investigate.
The evidence seems conclusive, but something just doesn’t feel right.
The case is quickly cast into doubt when the lead forensic pathologist starts receiving threatening letters – containing details only the police should know.
Who’s sending them? What do they want? And how did they get hold of the information?
As Carla and Nell dig deeper, it soon becomes clear that this case isn’t the first of its kind.
They must stop at nothing to find the truth – even if it hits close to home.
FORMER CRIME ANALYST MERILYN DAVIES BRINGS TO LIFE A GRITTY, HEART-STOPPING CRIME THRILLER THAT WILL HAVE YOU UTTERLY OBSESSED
'A compelling page-turner - assured, fresh, engrossing. I can’t wait to read more about Nell and Carla.’ - Mel Sherratt
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