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When Violence Is No Stranger: Pastoral Counseling with Survivors of Acquaintance Rape
It is not my enemies who taunt meI could bear that.... It is you, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend.... Ps. 55:12-13The paucity of resources for pastoral care of acquaintance-rapesurvivors highlights the invisibility of this growing crime and its largely uncharted pastoral challenges. In fact, most rape is by an acquaintance. Only 16 percent of such cases are reported; and, because they are difficult to prosecute, only 5 percent of those reported result in guilty verdicts. Focusing on the psychospiritual effects of this sexualized violence, Kristen Leslie offers the psychological and theological tools to religious professionals for understanding the deep spiritual trauma of the survivor and how best to work with her to reconstruct a personal world of meaning, trust, and faith. Based on extensive interviews with survivors, Leslie explains the personal and theological issues they raise, what they found helpful from religious professionals, the images and metaphors most germane to their trauma and recovery, and how they coped with or healed from the experience of rape. An exemplary and important study in practical theology, Leslie's volume will not only equip pastoral caregivers and counselors with specific guidelines. It will also enlighten them on the crucial role that theology can play in the re-construction of shattered lives.
200 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2002
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
November 27, 2008
i honestly loved this book...i read it for a presentation for school but the information both about sexual assault in general and about how survivors are impacted and in how many different ways... Leslie did a good job capturing how not everyone reacts the same. the advice that she (and the survivors) gave towards pastors was very extensive and the theological thinking was sound...i love this book...
March 5, 2019
Kristen Leslie has provided a very comprehensive guide for everyone desiring to help victims/survivors of rape, particularly of acquaintance rape. Her approach is both practical and theological, providing a framework for effective ministry.
When Violence is No Stranger gazes steadily at the difficulty of pastoral ministry to survivors, giving insight into behaviors that survivors of trauma and abuse may manifest: predictable ones like fear, anxiety, sobbing, and distress, and less predictable behaviors like smiling, laughing, tenseness, or restlessness. We learn about the aftermath reactions like physical bruising and pain, headaches, sleep disturbances, and stomach problems followed by emotion swings, fears and phobias, depression, numbing, and self-blame, invasive thoughts and self-judgment. This is the pain and suffering of the assault victim, and I found her explanations to be spot-on, offered from both clinical and pastoral perspectives.
Pastors and others in faith-based helping settings will benefit from her emphasis on safe space for sharing story as well as the importance of a community of friends and family who can provide consistent support and unconditional love. She is frank and forthcoming about how difficult this work can be while balancing it with the rewards of restoration of a wounded soul in whom the Imago Dei is being recovered.
Given that ours is an embodied faith, Leslie's section on the psycho-spiritual is very helpful. The victim suffers in both ontological and epistemological dimensions of her very being and can feel "abandonment, doubt, loss of faith, confusion, loss of agency, and a feeling of disconnection from one's ability to make and give meaning to her world" (page. 40). How does she ever know anything again? How does she ever trust again? How does she make sense of her world? How does she make sense of her self? How does she come to terms with the simple fact that a loving God allowed this to happen to her?
Kristen Leslie has offered a warm and caring portrayal of the complexities of acquaintance rape, of ministry to those who have suffered in this way, and of hope for healing. Weird to say, but like a previous reviewer, I loved this book and found it very helpful for the training and work I do.
I would offer to potential readers who may themselves be survivors of rape, child sexual assault, domestic violence or other sexual trauma, depending on where one is in their recovery, there could be potentially triggering passages in the book, but the vast majority of the material was phrased and spoken of judiciously without compromising the meaning and painful impact of sexual assault. That's a hard path to walk, and the author does it very well.
When Violence is No Stranger gazes steadily at the difficulty of pastoral ministry to survivors, giving insight into behaviors that survivors of trauma and abuse may manifest: predictable ones like fear, anxiety, sobbing, and distress, and less predictable behaviors like smiling, laughing, tenseness, or restlessness. We learn about the aftermath reactions like physical bruising and pain, headaches, sleep disturbances, and stomach problems followed by emotion swings, fears and phobias, depression, numbing, and self-blame, invasive thoughts and self-judgment. This is the pain and suffering of the assault victim, and I found her explanations to be spot-on, offered from both clinical and pastoral perspectives.
Pastors and others in faith-based helping settings will benefit from her emphasis on safe space for sharing story as well as the importance of a community of friends and family who can provide consistent support and unconditional love. She is frank and forthcoming about how difficult this work can be while balancing it with the rewards of restoration of a wounded soul in whom the Imago Dei is being recovered.
Given that ours is an embodied faith, Leslie's section on the psycho-spiritual is very helpful. The victim suffers in both ontological and epistemological dimensions of her very being and can feel "abandonment, doubt, loss of faith, confusion, loss of agency, and a feeling of disconnection from one's ability to make and give meaning to her world" (page. 40). How does she ever know anything again? How does she ever trust again? How does she make sense of her world? How does she make sense of her self? How does she come to terms with the simple fact that a loving God allowed this to happen to her?
Kristen Leslie has offered a warm and caring portrayal of the complexities of acquaintance rape, of ministry to those who have suffered in this way, and of hope for healing. Weird to say, but like a previous reviewer, I loved this book and found it very helpful for the training and work I do.
I would offer to potential readers who may themselves be survivors of rape, child sexual assault, domestic violence or other sexual trauma, depending on where one is in their recovery, there could be potentially triggering passages in the book, but the vast majority of the material was phrased and spoken of judiciously without compromising the meaning and painful impact of sexual assault. That's a hard path to walk, and the author does it very well.
December 7, 2017
It was wonderful and helpful and educational. 5 stars
July 17, 2007
Written by a NACUC colleague -- a fabulous resource. It begins with basic information about acquaintance rape, and PTSD. It addresses the issues that might arise when offering pastoral counseling to survivors of acquaintance rape. It raises important questions concerning faith and trust and theology. A number of women share very personal, very heartbreaking accounts. There is also a good bit of theology present. A very engaging, if painful, book.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews