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Hands Off Manager: How to Mentor People and Allow Them to Be Successful
The number one reason cited in exit interviews for an employee quitting is "my manager." Most managers and executives not only aren't aware of this obvious problem, but probably wouldn't know what to do about it if they did.Today's employees do not respond to the old hands-on, militaristic management styles. They are highly independent, individual professionals with their own fully developed ideas. Leaders and managers who try to micro-manage them will inevitably confront wide-spread disgruntlement, absenteeism, and turnover--and increase their own and their employees' stress levels. In The Hands-Off Manager, Chandler and Black offer a new vision for all managers. With stories, examples, and vibrant activities for the reader to practice, this book shows any manager--new or seasoned--how to coach and mentor employees rather than hover over their shoulders and goad them into action. In this system, each employee's strengths are honored and honed in a climate of partnership and mutual goal-setting. Chandler, whose 100 Ways to Motivate Others is a bestselling favorite with small and large businesses alike, has called The Hands-Off Manager "my most original work to date" because it finally solves the age-old problem of getting the best performance out of people without frustrating yourself and them.The Hands-Off Manager and its breakthrough content will take its place beside In Search of Excellence, The One Minute Manager, and Who Moved My Cheese as an instant classic that will forever change the way we lead and manage.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published March 1, 2007
81 people are currently reading
274 people want to read
About the author
Steve Chandler
142 books284 followers(Arabic: ستيف تشاندلر)
Steve Chandler, bestselling author of 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself, Time Warrior and 30 other books, is known as America's notoriously unorthodox personal growth guru. He has helped thousands of people transform their lives and businesses.
Steve invites you to join his inner circle, the Wealth Warrior Movement, whose sole focus is supporting you in creating greater prosperity for yourself. Join by visiting and you will receive prosperity-building messages from Steve three times a week, each and every week, as well as monthly webinars by Steve, books by Steve and the members-only CREATING WEALTH Audio Series.
And... Steve's NEWEST book Wealth Warrior will go out to all members of the Wealth Warrior Movement when it's published in September 2012.
Steve Chandler, bestselling author of 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself, Time Warrior and 30 other books, is known as America's notoriously unorthodox personal growth guru. He has helped thousands of people transform their lives and businesses.
Steve invites you to join his inner circle, the Wealth Warrior Movement, whose sole focus is supporting you in creating greater prosperity for yourself. Join by visiting and you will receive prosperity-building messages from Steve three times a week, each and every week, as well as monthly webinars by Steve, books by Steve and the members-only CREATING WEALTH Audio Series.
And... Steve's NEWEST book Wealth Warrior will go out to all members of the Wealth Warrior Movement when it's published in September 2012.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
November 13, 2008
As you might be able to tell, when I find an author I like I tend to gobble up anything else they have to say. I highly recommend anything that Steve Chandler has written. He is direct, he makes you think, and I might even go so far as to say his writing has made a difference in my life. Try reading one of his books and tell me what you think...by the way, most are nice and short!
December 20, 2018
Nice audio book to listen to during a road trip with my mom. Gave us some insights on the importance of minding your thoughts.
April 21, 2012
This is one of the best non-fiction titles I've read in a long time. I wish there were more stars to give 'The Hands-off Manager.' If you find yourself in a leadership role of any kind, this can help you stay positive, relax, and open-up the potential inside yourself and others. As a new library manager, it's helped me a lot. It can help you too.
December 23, 2022
Think Zen meets Management.
Letting go of expectations doesn’t mean letting go of standards.
See the potential, share the potential, help others remove their blocks.
Simple exercises to help us all get out of our own way.
Letting go of expectations doesn’t mean letting go of standards.
See the potential, share the potential, help others remove their blocks.
Simple exercises to help us all get out of our own way.
January 18, 2020
The first 5 chapters were great. Everything after that wasn't particularly helpful.
January 11, 2023
"You cannot teach a person anything. You can only help him discover it within himself."
"You don't need to share all your ideas with everybody, because you're no longer trying to fix everybody. You've moved on from that. You've accepted them for who they are, and you're accepting without judgment their weaknesses and their problems. In fact, you don't even label them 'problems' anymore. They're just energy patterns in life as fascinating as anything else."
"You might be in that quiet place where a person just pops into your mind, and you will go to your computer and send that person a nice note. The next thing you know, that person is calling and saying, 'I have some business for you. I've been meaning to talk to you.' That's allowing success instead of trying to force it to happen."
"Once they find out you aren't judging them, they'll share almost anything with you. They are open to creating new agreements. ... Employees who aren't being judged are far more open to coaching and mentoring, and allowing their managers to help them improve."
"It's not about how you're coming across; it's about whether they feel a true connection to you."
"The Iceberg Principle would say that what you see above the surface in the ocean when you look at an iceberg is only about 10 percent of the entire iceberg. The other 90 percent of the ice floats below the surface and is not visible to the eye.
That's exactly what's occurring in our own world. What we see coming through in physical form is a very tiny portion of all that's actually happening."
"Most of what is happening is unseen."
"A lot of people think that coaching means giving advice; that you give advice in kind of a nice way so that you're giving advice but you can call it 'coaching.' That's not really coaching. That's advising.
When you are coaching, the first thing you do is seek to understand the other person. You do not first seek to be understood. Understand where your person's heart is. What are they thinking? How do they see things? Because if you saw life the way they saw life, you'd likely be doing just what they're doing. You'd be behaving the way they were. You'd be communicating exactly the way they are. You'd be them.
It's really important for you to see what your people want to achieve and how they see their situation. Ask questions and let them talk. Keep your hands off their answers."
"Drop the distinction of 'unimportant people' from your mindset. Every customer and every coworker has the power to advance your career beautifully, often in unseen and unknowable ways."
"Expert advice will not bring change. It is more likely to bring humiliation. And that's only because we are dealing with human beings."
"By not micromanaging, more things change."
"Would you pull a flower up from the ground with your hands to help it grow? Why try to do similar things to an employee?"
--- END QUOTATIONS ---
Constantly reread this book and annotate its advice as reminders. So many of the world's problems stem from overly hands-on leadership, from people micromanagement. This book helps remind us of the paradox that you get more by managing less. You have to trust people and let them surprise you, rather than forcing success or results. You can't be with people 24/7, so let them grow and provide them the tools, support, coaching, and motivation to succeed in their own way.
"You don't need to share all your ideas with everybody, because you're no longer trying to fix everybody. You've moved on from that. You've accepted them for who they are, and you're accepting without judgment their weaknesses and their problems. In fact, you don't even label them 'problems' anymore. They're just energy patterns in life as fascinating as anything else."
"You might be in that quiet place where a person just pops into your mind, and you will go to your computer and send that person a nice note. The next thing you know, that person is calling and saying, 'I have some business for you. I've been meaning to talk to you.' That's allowing success instead of trying to force it to happen."
"Once they find out you aren't judging them, they'll share almost anything with you. They are open to creating new agreements. ... Employees who aren't being judged are far more open to coaching and mentoring, and allowing their managers to help them improve."
"It's not about how you're coming across; it's about whether they feel a true connection to you."
"The Iceberg Principle would say that what you see above the surface in the ocean when you look at an iceberg is only about 10 percent of the entire iceberg. The other 90 percent of the ice floats below the surface and is not visible to the eye.
That's exactly what's occurring in our own world. What we see coming through in physical form is a very tiny portion of all that's actually happening."
"Most of what is happening is unseen."
"A lot of people think that coaching means giving advice; that you give advice in kind of a nice way so that you're giving advice but you can call it 'coaching.' That's not really coaching. That's advising.
When you are coaching, the first thing you do is seek to understand the other person. You do not first seek to be understood. Understand where your person's heart is. What are they thinking? How do they see things? Because if you saw life the way they saw life, you'd likely be doing just what they're doing. You'd be behaving the way they were. You'd be communicating exactly the way they are. You'd be them.
It's really important for you to see what your people want to achieve and how they see their situation. Ask questions and let them talk. Keep your hands off their answers."
"Drop the distinction of 'unimportant people' from your mindset. Every customer and every coworker has the power to advance your career beautifully, often in unseen and unknowable ways."
"Expert advice will not bring change. It is more likely to bring humiliation. And that's only because we are dealing with human beings."
"By not micromanaging, more things change."
"Would you pull a flower up from the ground with your hands to help it grow? Why try to do similar things to an employee?"
--- END QUOTATIONS ---
Constantly reread this book and annotate its advice as reminders. So many of the world's problems stem from overly hands-on leadership, from people micromanagement. This book helps remind us of the paradox that you get more by managing less. You have to trust people and let them surprise you, rather than forcing success or results. You can't be with people 24/7, so let them grow and provide them the tools, support, coaching, and motivation to succeed in their own way.
March 14, 2018
I tried but I could not bring myself to finish this book. In my opinion, the author and his mentor gave so much misguided advice that I would question any business's profitability in using it. It's not all about profit you say, yeah well try to pay employees while losing money and see how long that lasts.
I found it humorous that he consistently used Christian moral teachings and quotes even though his message was an obvious one of humanism and looking inside yourself for the answers and belief.
I felt like has so many week (or erroneous) correlations (in just the first half of the book) that I lost count. Two examples are (paraphrasing) "If you relax you can remember something better (cognitive brain function), so if you relax you can be more creative" I don't think that necessarily holds true. and "if Vince Young's coaches were hands off and he did so well, all QB's that have hands off coaches will be champions" darn those other controlling coaches stiffing all that creativity anyway..
Then there is the constant fear tactic of "being an 'old school, archaic, horrible manager" that he uses to sell his system that eliminates fear in the workplace - classic.
My problem is that our world views don't line up at all, he sees the world and people as good and I see them as flawed in need of redemption. He would say I project that because its what I want to see, I would say, maybe, but I have so many opportunities to witness selfishness and cruelty that I don't have any hand in that it is hard to ignore it.
I see this author as a 'self help' mystic guru that probably makes a lot of money 'life-coaching'. He sees things from a Utopian world of bliss where no one is downright lazy or has even misguided agendas let alone Machiavellian plots. Performance is not a factor in his world, only effort. Don't dare to judge a project by its outcome, encourage the person on it with how well their skills lined up with the things that went right, maybe even hand out a participation trophy. It makes me wonder if he has any employees in his business or if his is a one man show. The great thing about 'coaching' is that you only have to deal with people temporarily to get the paycheck.
Maybe the second half of the book cleared up all my concerns. I will never know. I would be interested to hear if this system really worked out long term for anyone with a real business. I guess I see maybe the big picture of not micro-managing and agree that all employees need to be treated with dignity and respect, but I found most of his instructions, and insights were too full of jargon and buzz words to no pass off as general hog-wash.
I found it humorous that he consistently used Christian moral teachings and quotes even though his message was an obvious one of humanism and looking inside yourself for the answers and belief.
I felt like has so many week (or erroneous) correlations (in just the first half of the book) that I lost count. Two examples are (paraphrasing) "If you relax you can remember something better (cognitive brain function), so if you relax you can be more creative" I don't think that necessarily holds true. and "if Vince Young's coaches were hands off and he did so well, all QB's that have hands off coaches will be champions" darn those other controlling coaches stiffing all that creativity anyway..
Then there is the constant fear tactic of "being an 'old school, archaic, horrible manager" that he uses to sell his system that eliminates fear in the workplace - classic.
My problem is that our world views don't line up at all, he sees the world and people as good and I see them as flawed in need of redemption. He would say I project that because its what I want to see, I would say, maybe, but I have so many opportunities to witness selfishness and cruelty that I don't have any hand in that it is hard to ignore it.
I see this author as a 'self help' mystic guru that probably makes a lot of money 'life-coaching'. He sees things from a Utopian world of bliss where no one is downright lazy or has even misguided agendas let alone Machiavellian plots. Performance is not a factor in his world, only effort. Don't dare to judge a project by its outcome, encourage the person on it with how well their skills lined up with the things that went right, maybe even hand out a participation trophy. It makes me wonder if he has any employees in his business or if his is a one man show. The great thing about 'coaching' is that you only have to deal with people temporarily to get the paycheck.
Maybe the second half of the book cleared up all my concerns. I will never know. I would be interested to hear if this system really worked out long term for anyone with a real business. I guess I see maybe the big picture of not micro-managing and agree that all employees need to be treated with dignity and respect, but I found most of his instructions, and insights were too full of jargon and buzz words to no pass off as general hog-wash.
May 24, 2019
I expected a moderately dull and mostly unrelatable manager with advice that I would have to really grind at, to be able to find the gold.
I got a memorable book that not only improved how you are as a professional manager, but a manager at life. The way the authors provide the advice, and then follow it up with easily identifiable steps, leaves no room for excuses.
The information is incredibly simple, but the most profound things often are. The advice sounds easy, but will likely prove difficult.
An amazing book. I will be giving this to my co-manager and a copy to my bosses. This has been a very impactful and influential read
I got a memorable book that not only improved how you are as a professional manager, but a manager at life. The way the authors provide the advice, and then follow it up with easily identifiable steps, leaves no room for excuses.
The information is incredibly simple, but the most profound things often are. The advice sounds easy, but will likely prove difficult.
An amazing book. I will be giving this to my co-manager and a copy to my bosses. This has been a very impactful and influential read
February 2, 2019
Absolutely loved it. Great way to reset your thinking. A little unconventional but perfect if you are willing to open your mind to self-reflection & change from within yourself.
October 10, 2021
There were so many great parts, I really enjoyed it. It was extremely empowering. Must read again
August 3, 2022
Great book. It made me realize that you have to understand yourself before you have any chance of helping others succeed.
March 13, 2023
Chs 3 and 9 felt particularly useful to me
March 16, 2017
a few degrees better than your typical random-nuggets-written-to-sell-self-help on the account of the great quotes and references it gives.
Still some of the ideas in the book have some merit, although heavily saturated with a realistate agents worldview
Still some of the ideas in the book have some merit, although heavily saturated with a realistate agents worldview
October 11, 2009
I typically skim through most leadership books- I find them a dime a dozen. This one made me take pause. It actually started from within-- it dealt with that fact that who you are as a person, the amount of self-awarness/reflection, impacts how you are as a leader! Novel concept, refreshing to actually read in a leadership book.
I believe with yourself is where it all starts... I am only half- way through this, and its because I am choosing to go slow and soak in the chapters. I have a lot to learn. Finally!
I believe with yourself is where it all starts... I am only half- way through this, and its because I am choosing to go slow and soak in the chapters. I have a lot to learn. Finally!
March 2, 2009
There were some quotable quotes that I agree with, such as, "Life doesn't always give you what you want...life gives you what you believe. You can only see what you believe is there." "Negative thoughts isolate you from people, and positive thoughts connect you with them." Also, "anything that bothers us only bothers us because we have a judgement about it." However, the book was full of contradictions and bad similes. I didn't like the reference to "toxic addictions to approval-seeking" - that seems like an odd concept for a book about management.
August 9, 2011
OK, so I was skeptical until about the final third of the book, then I began to actually find thoughts that the book inspired **creeping** into my management/leadership interactions with my staff. Be committed to reading it all through, and then think on it. You'll be pleased with what their ideas can inspire in you.
December 3, 2008
Excellent book. Not the normal management tripe. Contains a plethora of wisdom. Recommended for anyone in a leadership position such as manager, parent, etc.
November 14, 2014
Got a lot of good tips.
June 16, 2014
Appreciated his perspective and the challenges presented to not manage the way i've been "managed" most of my career.
December 29, 2015
One of the very best manager manuals out there! If you're a manager -do yourself a favour and read this thing!
January 29, 2019
Good book for those looking on taking on a more managerial position in their careers.
January 20, 2017
What I like about this book is that it focuses on the human side of being a manager. It's less about the x's and o's of leadership and more about the relationship side of it all. Good stuff.
October 30, 2013
Very insightful! I was reminded of what is possible when you partner with people.
March 30, 2017
Good ideas, but a little hard to know how to implement. Also waaay too long.
April 1, 2017
The theory behind this book was sound. Don't be judgmental and help encourage people to be the best version of themselves they can be. But it was couched in so much new age language that it was hard to take it seriously.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews