Love over Fear: Facing Monsters, Befriending Enemies, and Healing Our Polarized World

by Dan White Jr.

Aren’t Christians Supposed to Be the Loving Ones?

Whether it’s the news, social media, or well-intentioned friends, we’re told daily to fear "others." We fear strangers, neighbors, the other side of the aisle, even those who parent differently. And when we’re confronted with something that scares us, our brain sees only two options:

Attack or Avoid

But either way, polarization intensifies. What if you could defy your own instincts and choose a third option—scandalous, disruptive, unthinkable LOVE? Sure, we love people who are like us, who are easy to enjoy. Everyone does. But what about our enemies, the people we consider monsters? Loving them requires exceptional strength—strength only the Holy Spirit can provide.

Love over Fear is a compelling guide to conquering fear with love in an age of polarization. Hear stories of those who changed hearts and minds through radical love, learn how to practice disarming compassion, and discover the disruptive power of showing affection to monsters.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christianity, Theology, Spirituality, Christian Living, Faith

240 pages, Paperback

First published May 7, 2019

Reviews

[David Rawls · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love Over Fear has come at a pivotal time within American Christianity. The church is divided because we have created enemies with one another. Liberal/Conservative, Republican/Democrat, Black/White Citizen/Immigrant Pro-life/Pro-choice are labels we have used to make enemies or monsters of others. The church has allowed itself to become a part of the problem within our culture rather then a a called out community which offers a better way. Like the author (Dan White Jr.) I too have seen in my experiences where Christians have divided themselves and have made enemies of other Christians because of the labels they identify with. What I appreciate about Dan's book is that he writes not from an ivory tower of academia but as a practitioner in the local church. His whole purpose for writing this book was because of families in his church who had different political leanings who could no longer worship and serve with other families because of their leanings.

Dan does a great job of not simply coming up with practical steps in how to deal with differences but shows us through Jesus life and ministry how to deal with differences. We have come to believe that most issues and problems that we face that separate us only have to choices. Dan shows us that Jesus rose above the two choice model and gave us a third way to deal with differences. For anyone who is serious to put into action Jesus words about loving your enemies(or simply those who you disagree with) this is a great book. If the church is to be relevant in the 21st century we must learn the ways of Jesus.

[Tim Otto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love over Fear exposes how our biology prioritizes fear (which was designed to keep us safe) over love (the way we image God). Weirdly enough, “fear feels good” notes White. He builds a careful spiritual, psychological, and moral case for why we need to prioritize love over fear. The book gets practical—and risks offending everyone—but only with the desire for both sides to move toward one another in hope and faith. Given our current deep political and spiritual divide, this book could hardly be more timely.

[Julee · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a lovely book. A call to love in convincing as well as convicting language. You can hear the author’s genuine heart to instill love for enemies and those different than us. Really very lovely.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

In our polarized society, we usually feel we only have two options when dealing with those we don’t agree with: attack or avoid. Dan White Jr. describes a third option which is love.

There is so much I liked about this book and so many ideas and thoughts worth sharing. I will share a few which I found so helpful in thinking about relating to those with whom we disagree. First of all, fear is the root of polarization. It needs to be removed for the growth of love and the incomparable love of God. There is no comparison to the love shown in Jesus’ life. This love is the most amazing and unfathomable when it is poured out in those we are most frightened of. This book is the author’s journey of casting off fear to find the path of love. Love will propel us towards people while fear creates a barrier. Love causes us to listen and hear another’s story while fear says we don’t have to listen.

Our time saving devices have depleted our tolerance for building relationships. It takes time and a great deal of effort to build those relationships. Empathy is essential to understanding the work of Christ in the world. Humility is essential in the act of receiving and giving love. Jesus offered compassion to everyone even his enemies. All this is possible with the strength of the Holy Spirit.

The book is divided into 9 chapters with reflection questions at the end of each chapter. This makes it ideal as a small group study.

This is a book desperately needed in today’s world. I highly recommend this book. I received this book from Moody Publishers in exchange for this honest review.

[curtis artz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This could be one of the most important books of the year. Dan pulls no punches with calling out the issues that divide. But he offers practical ways to handle our fears, love our neighbors, and seek true connection with others. Disclosure:I received a free copy as part of the launch team to offer an unbiased review.

[Ray Hausler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an important book. The pattern of this world is discord and division. Love over fear is the best way forward. Dan does a great job communicating the importance of listening to one another in simple and clear language. Any group seeking to follow the way of Jesus, should read this together and put it into practice.

[Danielle Barger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thought provoking and very challenging in a few areas.

[Catz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me look into my own heart's view of others, and challenged me to look to Jesus' life for how he treated people. It induces a change of perspective. It got me thinking about how I can be active instead of reactive when someone hurts or frightens me. Definitly a great read in the current climate of our politics damaged social structure.

[Drew Thurman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been greatly impacted by Dan’s writing on the form and function of the church. While this is a departure from that, it is his best work. He so graciously wrestles with some of the toughest topics in our culture, and does so in a book that is inspiring and highly readable for anyone. It honestly feels like a conversation with a well-lived mentor. Dan clearly shows an intimate knowledge of the Jesus of the Gospels, and more than that shows us what it looks like to dare to live in the reality Jesus taught and modeled. I was deeply challenged by this book, and I plan on passing it onto many others.

[Steve Irby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished "Love Over Fear: Facing Monsters, Befriending Enemies, and Healing our Polarized World," by Dan White Jr.; and highly recommend to me by Sam Ponjican.

The intro begins with a story from White's own experience of a member of his local Family telling him they were leaving because everyone was so liberal, and then a couple left later because everyone was so conservative. That--and the below quote--sets the stage, I believe, for this book.

"Fear is the root of polarization, and it needs to be excavated to make room for the growth of love, the unsurpassable live of God," p 15.

"We see monsters everywhere right now, potential monsters hiding out in all kinds of places and behind the faces of all sorts of people," p 19.

This appeal to fear got quite noticed and used by advertisers: antibacterial anyone? Shrinks noticed how fear sells and studied it in the 80s. Then politicians noticed they could use it and fear got wings. It makes up political speeches. The key words to listen for based on the shrinks research (terror management theory) are hurt, danger, unsafe, peril, problematic, injure, sick, and threat. So, yeah, you're being manipulated; dont trust the machine.

"Whether Republican or Democrat, young or old, we are easily romanced by the words of fear," p 21.

"Positive language does not energize nearly as much as fear-based language does," p 21.

"Many of us cuddle and coddle fear because it makes more sense than the generous, open posture of love. We believe love makes us vulnerable to harm while fear protects us. Love compels us toward people--fear creates a buffer. Love causes us to lean in and listen--fear tells us we dont need to hear any more. Fear offers something in return--a sense of control and safety, placing our wants, our needs, our anxieties at the center of importance. We sort of like fear," p 22.

White goes on to state that the monsters we were afraid of as kids have been traded in for an adult monster; we just want or have to have something to fear. There has to be someone plotting on us.

Jesus: "why are you afraid?" 40 times and "fear not!" 365 times throughout the Gospels. My first observation here is that Jesus' most given command is not to fear; his most explicit is to love.

"Fear turns the face of the unfamiliar into percieved monsters," p 27.

And I believe the final testing place of fear is hate, a point White mentions in passing.

Scarcity makes us look self ward to take care of self and to be leery (fear) of anyone who gets to near us.

"Fear thrives off of our powerful human instinct to survive," p 35.

The tribalistic fear of our ancestors where knowing your people was a priority less one be killed has been replaced with fearing ideas and opinions that "dont look like us" or our "tribe."

"Fear rewires us for defense rather than discovery," p 36.

Working from "God is love" and "perfect love drives out fear" White gets to dealing with the solution of our fear.

"We can not know God more without increasing our capacity for love. Love is the means and the end," p 45.

If our picture of God is skewed legalistically where we miss His love for a works righteousness, or if it is framed to where we must love Him so that we will be accepted then we will miss the God who is Love. In so doing our definition of love is perverted and this will be reflected into our interpersonal lives. As I say, one always emulates the model of God one serves. What does this "God" and "Love" actually look like?--you cant get around looking directly at Jesus, the Crucified God, and to listen to His teachings. Some hate that, they want a God who doesnt change or feel pain but you cant draw those conclusions by looking at Jesus. He is the epitome of what "God is love" looks like.

Whites comments about Constantinian christianity are quite spot on. If you believe God made you win a battle (a direct contradiction to the words of Christ) then you eliminate the words of Christ for the work of Christ alone (objective penal substitution) because we cant stomach that enemy love nonsense. An objective view of God throwing a cosmic switch (yes, it happened) overrules Mt. 5, 6 and 7. Rather, a proper view of the atonement is objective, subjective and triumphant; this allows ones very life to be changed by the teachings of Jesus.

"[The metaphysical force] gravity pulls us downward. [The metaphysical force] love pulls us outward, towards others, towards the stranger, the widow, the poor, and most shockingly, toward our enemies," p 54-5.

White goes on to say that when faced with something that scares us--a snake or a statist--we either attack it or avoid it. This is the common fight or flight response that has assisted in us being able to sit around and talk about books rather than being a meal for a saber tooth tiger. This survival mode that has helped us stay alive works great when facing down a woolly mammoth but when dialoguing with the untouchable person named "different than I" this survival mode naturally makes my thinking circumvent the neo cortex--thats not even needed, I'm just trying to survive that cobra that spits venom up to thirty feet. But when really wanting to act human, not just stay alive, when the discourse is about my favorite topic and the "not I" hates my topic then I end up naturally treating them like the scorpion--crush or avoid? We have incorrectly applied fight or flight to topics that dont require either. We do this because this is how we know to respond to things we fear and hate. The way of Jesus transcends applying how we respond to a cockroach or charging water buffalo when dealing with our antithesis; He demands you to react in such a transcendent way. Eating with sinners transcends polarization.

I appreciate his section on false choices. While giving examples one strikes me: "you are either for this war, or you hate the military," p 81. This reflects a special kind of false dichotomy. Personally I want to see no death of any of Gods creatures or children.

"The left-right seesaw is a snare of the Enemy, it's a delusion--reject it altogether. Jump off the seesaw, let Jesus scandalize you," p 89.

"The art of hating our neighbors is the skill taught by both the conservative powers and progressive powers," p 100.

"The spark of enemy-love can set the world afire," p 104.

"Being right, without loving well, is not right," p 120.

White uses Christ's KENOSIS as a model for our personal interaction with those who are dissimilar to us. The model of the selfemptied Lord is the one we have to pursue if we are going to reject the polarization demanded of us by power elites (all of them on all [or no] sides).

Under a section called ultimate Kenosis White lays out the two revelant cords of the three which make up the atonement: the subjective and the triumphant. Christs example must drive me to emulate Him: He identifies with my fear and pain; He is the scapegoat to end all scapegoating; this grand act of love eliminates all fear and the separation it causes between me and others not like me. He takes on the source of fear in Satan defeating him thus allowing a gulf between the future works of Satan and those who follow Christ.

"I contend that voting has become an act that we've placed a disproportionate amount of hope in," p 171. White goes on to say that our focus should be in table fellowship rather than bullet-by-ballot. When we repersonalize percieved enemies by way of sharing a meal we gain the perspective of coming to understand them. This transcends gaining our will via a disconnect method like voting (though he still unfortunately still upholds force by ballot) and reestablishes seeing personhood in those unlike us.

"Christian's do not need to seek control in order to make things come out right," p 174.

I didnt comment on the last couple of chapters because you need to get this book rather than have me summarize it. Timely and great read for a world torn apart by differences rather than drawn together by the Kenotic love of Jesus.

[Irina Turco · Rating 5 out of 5]

BEST book of 2019. So much needed in this sick and tired angry political culture. There is another way to live and this book will open your eyes to beautiful possibilities!

[Dan · Rating 4 out of 5]

“We need a movement of love,” writes Dan White, Jr. in his book Love Over Fear, Facing Monsters, Befriending Enemies, And Healing Our Polarized World. “As our culture is locked in a war between the conservative right that wants the power to legislate morality (among other things) and the progressive left that wants the power to legislate social justice (among other things), we need another way.”

A few paragraphs down the same page from this call for a new way, White clarifies the challenge that Jesus gave to his followers to ‘be perfect.’ I would guess that most Christians would define ‘perfect’ as being without blemish, or untarnished. But White makes an interesting observation.
“…the Hebrew word (Tamim) does not carry the same meaning of ‘without error’ in an absolute sense as does the term ‘perfect’ in English. Tamim means complete or whole. White offers a few examples of this more accurate meaning: “whole love casts out fear,” or “be whole as your Father God is whole.”

After offering a more holistic view of Biblical love, White makes the point about God’s image. “Since humanity is created in the image of God, a human being is a microcosm of the divine. Sadly, we often reverse things, and instead of understanding that we are made in the image of God, we imagine God in our image… we look for a God who fears what we fear, who hates what we hate, who likes what we like, who affirms what we affirm.”

Of course, such a narrow view of God naturally would result in a gathering of like-minded folk, who would tend to be polarized against anyone who did not happen to hold their view of God. I love White’s definition of polarization: “Polarization takes people that have something in common, emphasizes their differences, hardens their differences into disgust, and slowly turns disgust into blatant hatred for each other.”

Unfortunately, organized religion isn’t exempt from this awful dynamic.
White points out that sometimes polarization is based upon a two-choice view of the world.
“Certainly, seeing the world through only two choices is convenient and makes our life easier. But life is more of a spectrum of possible alternatives rather than an option between two extremes. Human nature, and subsequently Christianity and our cultural politics, consistently presents false choices. Like saying, ‘You are either with God or against God.’ Is this true? This type of speech offers no room for the spectrum of journeying, exploring, and discerning. It certainly offers us security to think like this, but it is fundamentally not true to human experience nor does it echo the primary way Jesus related with humans… The very nature of Christ Himself is beyond either/or.”
There’s also the element of knowledge itself that can lead to pride, which can, in turn, lead to polarization and hatred.

White reminds us, “you don’t see all there is to see from the spot you are standing in. Paradoxically, the more you see, the more you know, but also the more humbled you become. The wiser we become, the less wise we feel. This is the wellspring of intellectual humility – the more you know, the less you realize you know.”

To further drive home the point that Jesus was the epitome of someone who lived an unpolarized life, White offers the example of how Jesus chose his disciples. “Jesus gathered three Zealots who were militant nationalists, a tax collector who favored the Sadducee party, six fishermen who lived hand-to-mouth and were exploited by Roman taxation, one member of the Sicarii party, and a wealthy nobleman who was linked to the Pharisees. This is scandalous!... It’s an understatement to say that these men would have loathed being in the same room with each other. If it were not for Jesus holding this space, they’d all naturally slide into the cultural ditch of mutual hatred for one another… As the disciples faced each other day after day, ideological and relational differences emerged. Jesus lives and moves and breathes beyond fear – He invites us to do the same.”

Another ingredient in the mix that results in fear and polarization is the social media information (or misinformation) glut we live in. “Expert Delusion is the misguided belief that you can be an expert because you have access to information… The direct impact of this information-binging is that it erodes our ability to enter into the experience of another. It tricks our egos into believing that we already know because are informed – it gives us bloated brains.”
White goes on to observe that "[W]e think we can know things about people without dwelling with people. Being right, without loving well, is not right.”

And this can lead to a lack of empathy, further fueling the political, religious and racial gulfs among us. “Without empathy,” White writes, “we are forced to cluster and huddle with people who are just like us. The moment we interact with someone we are sniffing out, like bloodhounds, what our differences might be.”

Then White describes the differences between a culture based on law and one based on relationships. For the most part, White culture, derived from Western European nations, is one that places a high value on contracts and laws. Native American culture, by contrast, existed on oral tradition, storytelling and the value of relationships.

At this point in Love Over Fear, White begins to suggest some alternative ways of relating to those individuals who don’t look, think or worship like us. He calls up the example of Jesus who always made room at the table for people of all stripes.

“We need renewed faith that God still wants to heal the world this way [bringing strangers together at the same table] not because of our ultra-competence, but through our humble presence.”
He makes the point that “Christians do not need to seek control in order to make things come out right. Instead, we are invited to identify the kingdom of God in the midst of our cracked earthen encounters.”

“Bearing witness to the kingdom is not about controlling outcomes but awakening imaginations. This is perhaps the exceptional brilliance of Jesus’ political strategy. He doesn’t grab you by the shirt and shout in your face; He doesn’t pay for a commercial that slanders the opposition. He stays at the table and begins to fashion a world where we no longer see each other as foes. The table stands for a place of divine availability in the wilderness of isolating, fragmenting, polarizing American life.”

Finally, White writes about the ‘aikido of forgiveness.’ Which he describes thusly: “Aikido embodies this idea that when we stop meeting something with like-force, we can stop giving it power. We neutralize it, we disrupt it. In aikido, an uke (the person who receives an attack) absorbs and transforms the incoming aggressive energy… The goal in aikido is to frustrate the violence of your attacked, eventually exhausting them, neutralizing them. Forgiveness is not giving yourself over to the attacker; it’s giving yourself over to another way of being. A way that disempowers the threat.”
White recognizes that, viewed from a Western European culture, this could seem like an imminent disaster. But White’s view is that “to forgive could feel like surrender, a retreat in the context of a battle. But Jesus offers us forgiveness not as a white flag but as a weapon… It is not God’s judgment but kindness that leads to repentance, a change of heart (Rom. 2:4).”

In the conclusion of Love Over Fear, White states, “The future of the church needs a revolution of love, a love so scandalous it relaxes in the face of fear to move towards enemies with affection.”
Of course, this is no small order, but the stakes are too high to keep on giving in to fear.

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Here is my review of Dan White Jr.'s LOVE OVER FEAR

"I read about 40 books a year and this ranks in my top five. There are several reasons for this, but chief among them is that the author seeks to model the pathway to peace. His stories of how he sometimes awkwardly interacts with frenemies are inspiring. He describes with anecdotes and science the core problem in this cultural moment of hostility we find our selves in---fear. Then he shows a better way than the "Us vs. Them" approach that cable news, social media, and our own echo chambers often encourage. The better way is simple but not easy. It is the way of Jesus of Nazareth: compassionate curiosity that leads to forgiveness, one frienemy at a time.

My heart wants to dig in against those that are on the other side of my political and social opinions and convictions. I want to fight fire with fire. But then I look at Jesus and the helpful trail that the author has blazed and feel I am better equipped to go into this wilderness with a trustworthy guide. I don't know Dan White, Jr. personally, but he seems like the kind of man I'd like to sit down with liquid nourishment and talk about the Kingdom of God late into the night.

This is a very good book. "

[LovestoRead88 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I loved the breakdown of fear and love in biblical and Christ-centered point of view. The book illustrates how fear is divisive and God is Love. We must choose to be more like God. So often we polarize our lives in interaction with other people unlike ourselves thinking everything is either black or white, this is out of our own fear. Dan states " The very nature of Christ himself is beyond either/or. Is Jesus of Nazareth human or divine? Was He the Son of Man or Son of God? He's both" As in everything doesn't have to black or white, that's not what we learn from Jesus in the Bible. I think Dan White Jr did a great job of relating these two topics to our current and very real place in culture and society. I found myself relating to the displaced fears mentioned in this book and in turn, was able to be convicted. I felt encouraged to make changes in my approach to people who are different than me, don't think the way I do, or like the things I do. As the book states, "Jesus lives and moves and breathes beyond fear-He invites us to do the same."

Let Jesus scandalize you!

*An e-book was provided by NetGalley and the publisher. All opinions are my own.

[Summer Cromartie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a fine book, but I think it could be a lot shorter. Everything seems over explained before he gets to each section's real point.

[Jerrye Tellmeagreatstorylove · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love Over Fear by Dan White Jr.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

____________________________________________________________

Story Notes

Dan White Jr’s book about seeking to love those who are the opposite of us has much to teach about what is really holding us back from reaching out – and that is FEAR.

I’m going to start this review with a disclaimer: this book is really wonderful and has a lot of great content that will help Christians get to the bottom of their prejudices. That being said, I did not care for this book for myself. I can’t really pin point one reason exactly but it just didn’t appeal to me as a reader. I’m so glad to see someone taking on tough topics and using the Word to back up their conclusions; this a much needed book for our world. There is much that we all have to learn about being like Christ and this book will help many see where they need to start when looking to love those who are different from them. Mr. White seeks to break through stigmas, prejudices and outright hate to get to the real problem: we are afraid of others. How often do we see someone of different race, culture or age group and immediately decide who and what they are? How many times have we created scenarios in our minds of what that person thinks, will say or will act, only to see that none of that is true? And when we find out someone is of different background, religion or political party how willing are we to be their friend simply because they are a person – which makes them worthy of our time? These are some of the questions that Mr. White will answer in his book. He uses Jesus and his unilateral love/compassion for others as the baseline to judge our current beliefs or ideas against. I really loved the message and purpose of the book, which is why I’m so sad that I didn’t like the book as a whole. Perhaps it was that God has taught me many of these truths in the past few years and I’m ahead of some of the topics introduced here (please don’t take this as arrogance on my part, I know I don’t know everything and never will). Perhaps it was that my mindset towards others has always been more geared towards compassion – this is my spiritual gift as I have come to learn. I pray that its not because I believe I am too sure of my own righteousness to learn anything new. But whatever the reason, I just did not enjoy this book. Usually I find that I am encouraged or challenged by books such as these but I just felt……eeehhhhh. I know that others will read this book and find much more to challenge or teach them and therefore I will recommend it to them. I also hope that many will read this book and discover for themselves the compassion for others that is so lacking in this world.

I received this book free of charge from Moody Publishers as part of a book launch team in exchange for a fair and honest review. I will receive no fiscal compensation from Moody Publishers for this review and the opinions expressed herein are entirely my own.

[Brad Sargent · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dan White Jr. shows us how to be a both/and bridge builder in an either/or era.

The last few years have felt as scary and angst-inducing as I remember the late 1960s and early 1970s being, when I was in high school. Our entire society was snared in more upheavals than the movie San Andreas . Geo-political crisis abroad, war on poverty at home. Civil rights and seeking to end racism, promoting equality for women. The first Earth Day with its hints that today’s technological progress could cost us tomorrow’s environment. Culture clashes on these and other issues showed up every single day, on the streets and in the news.

Opposing bumper sticker slogans seen everywhere back then got at the essence of the differences: “America—love it or leave it” versus “America—change it or lose it.” Signs of the times, then—and now. All polar opposites and no room for anything or anyone in between. Every issue so heart-felt that expressing one’s opinion seems obligatory. But what do we do if our intended audience doesn’t hear us in these heated exchanges? The next-level option seems just to say it louder. But that keeps getting us nowhere but pounding down our position until we're more deeply entrenched.

We’ve become plagued by this level of intense polarization again. I constantly see evidences of either/or thinking in discussions that turn into debates, social media outrage that gets snarly, and free speech that starts out peaceful but turns into us-versus-them verbal grenade violence. If we’re going to change this, we’ve got to figure out middle ground, encourage in-between zones. I wanted to get Dan’s perspective in Love Over Fear , because it was promoted as just such a way to bridge such voids.

And I believe he succeeds. This is not a bunch of mere theoretical principles or formulaic points—though Dan lays out a clear and accessible approach to change, for us as everyday disciples. He practices what that preaches and shows us how navigating differences with his real-world neighbors works out, by transforming typical fear-based responses of attack or avoid through the genuine power of affection.

Our current crisis of polarization affects all people, all demographics, all political and theological views. A constructive future depends on us listening and learning across all such differences, and finding our way together through these troubled times. In Love Over Fear , Dan White, Jr., gives us an avenue of practical ways to move forward in that crucial bridge-building venture.

Disclosure: I received a copy of the book from the publisher for the purpose of reviewing it. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.

[Jeanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

You cannot love real and raw people with the judgmental mind, because you'll always try to control them, fix them, or size them up before you give yourself in love to them. The "judger"inside us feels intolerant with the choice's others make. You can be a conservative judger or a progressive judger; looking, straining, recording the misdeeds or missteps of others.

This is not a text that is bent for the progressive or the conservative but for the Christian that is tired of being in a polarized world. A world that you cannot voice your opinions so what can you do? You can listen and hear and learn to love those that disagree with you. It is not about trying to change the other to your beliefs but to put the walls down so you can love freely. I think Satan has us where he wants us. A place that we cannot love the enemy of our differences.

As the author states and the text supports, our points of differences can either be walls or bridges. How can we build a better bridge. We seem to know how to build a wall. How can we stop the anxiety of those differences. Do you feel it? We can feel connection to others that think differently by knowing that they are created in the image of God as well. We must develop an affection first for the Lord that spills out to others.

If you are tired of living in a polarized world, I would highly recommend this text. It will give you a perspective of Jesus without compromising and more importantly it will lead you in a better way. The way of Christ. His righteousness not ours.

A Special Thank you to Moody Publishing and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.

[Tim Chambers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished the book "Love over Fear" focused on how Christians can less of the problem and maybe even a sliver of the solution of polarization: The book models itself what it offers as a solution - how to be clear, open, and curious of the other. and that forgiveness and love in a way is almost an "akido" like act of disruption to those trying to harm and hurt.Was especially moved by this section:

"In some ways we believe we're curious because we scour for information daily....but genuine curiosity towards those who believe differently than us, live differently than us, worship differently than us - it's a scarce resource.

Within history, there have been world leaders and forces who have sought to snuff out curiosity: Fidel Castro, Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin. The Taliban destroy works of art. ISIS burns works of literature in villages in the Middle East. The Nazis denigrated art exhibits where they tried to deface all modern paintings. During the Middle Ages, curiosity was almost taken out of existence because the established church wanted to convey to the masses that everything worth knowing is already known. Being curious is a powerful distributor in the face of fear.

Being curious about information is essential, but being curious about each other can be an act of defiance!

...The actual word 'curiosity' derives form the Latin word curiositas, which means 'careful.' To be curious is to believe that everyone - yes everyone - should be treated with carefulness. Curiosity is a disruptive practice, but when combined with compassion it can be downright divine."

[Sara Lawson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dan White Jr.'s book, Love Over Fear, is the best book I've read yet this year. It was challenging, inspiring, impossible, and hopeful all at once. Loving enemies (both real and imagined) is a Christian distinctive that doesn't distinguish us from the rest of humanity the way it should. Dan paints beautiful pictures of what this can and sometimes does look like. But the challenge comes as I picture individuals in my own life who I know Jesus loves and still I don't want to. True confessions.

I love the solid theological foundations. I was convicted in many of the chapters. What it means to offer hospitality, forgiveness, acceptance - this is difficult. This is the way of Jesus. I did wish there was a bit more acknowledgment of the complications. What about dealing with narcissists or mental illness? While I don't think Jesus' call to forgiveness is any different, I also don't see how a reasonable conversation could even be possible. But perhaps that will be Dan's next book.

I have already started having conversations with my youth group about some of these topics. What is most encouraging is that they are much less polarized and much more able to live in the tension and love people who are different than them than adults are. How can we keep them in that place of openness? I look forward to the questions that I'm sure will continue to arise. I am excited to see how I will be different as I keep pondering what I have read. And I can't wait to see where Dan will take us next.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't say enough great things about this book. In our combative culture, we need to relearn how to get along with others. Dan White Jr takes us through biblical ways to do just that. I was blown away by so much wisdom as he unpacked Matthew 5:39-41 and what each instruction actually meant in Jesus' day. You may be surprised to find out what 'heap burning coals on their heads' means (Romans 12:20), but it'll change the way you think. That's what God's word is supposed to do, anyway, right?
Dan gives real life stories of his fears of others and the monsters in his neighborhood and beyond and helps us see what God thinks about these people we fear. And what are we supposed to do about it? "For God, compassion has no borders, no fences, no Us verses Them." Jesus shows compassion on everyone. Every. Single. Person. We should too.
This book changed my heart. Opened my heart, I should say. I was amazed at nearly every page. Dan's writing is so engaging and his subject matter so timely and important, every Christian should read this book. I'm very seriously using it as a small group resource, as I know my girls struggle with the current polarized culture, just like we all do.
I hope you read this book. We can change the world, one person, one heart at a time. Maybe we can, as a society, start to show respect and love for each other again.

[Reyna]

It amazes me how people are afraid of things they don't even know. The most interesting thing about this book was to learn how a white male thinks about color people. Even when it just not talk about racism, I think is a topic we all must face and have an opinion. What are we going to teach our children? I have friends who are always making assumptions about certain people not just with fear but with certain hate, I feel sorry about those children, growing learning to avoid people they don't even know. The first time I heard my husband preaching, he was talking about love and how it is the most powerful thing we can do, it is a powerful verb, because it represents God itself. I think some part of the books can be misinterpreted and you need biblical wisdom all the time to discern the intentions of your heart. Loving, integrating, not judging, racism, are very popular topics right now and some people change the truth for self convenience or to fit in, to be socially or politically correctness. You will find the book useful if you need to see inside of you and find out how o you approach people who are and think differently than you. May live as God lived. Only by His power and grace that will be possible.

[J.L. Neyhart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love over Fear: Facing Monsters, Befriending Enemies, and Healing Our Polarized World by Dan White Jr. offers a compelling guide to conquering fear with love in an age of polarization. The book is a collection of stories of those who changed hearts and minds through radical love, and it teaches how to practice disarming compassion and discover the disruptive power of showing affection to monsters.

Author Dan White Jr. is a pastor, author, and speaker who has worked with churches and non-profits for over two decades. He is also the author of Subterranean: Why the Future of the Church is Rootedness.

Love over Fear challenges readers to examine their own biases and assumptions about people who are different from them. White argues that fear is the root of many conflicts and divisions in our society, and that love is the only way to overcome it. He shares stories from his own journey of learning to love people across various lines of difference, such as race, religion, politics, and sexuality. He also offers practical steps and exercises to help the reader cultivate a posture of love and empathy towards others.

[Zacarias Rivera, Jr. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dan White Jr's book is a wonderful work that addresses how Jesus's command to love our enemies can be a catalyst to healing, healing ourselves and our enemies. Told through numerous personal stories, and stories of people he knows, the claim that we can disrupt the dominant response mode in which we operate is clearly supported. In addition to the anecdotes, there is exegesis of scripture that demonstrates what Jesus meant by his unequivocal command to love our enemies as ourselves.

I appreciate how the author weaves the stories and scripture to clarify how loving our enemies and neighbors as ourselves is doable. Through the work of the Spirit, who has poured God's love into our hearts, we are more than conquerors and can do what seems impossible to do. We may not be able to restore or heal all relationships, but that is the work of the Spirit though us. We need to do our part, and He will do His.

[Michael Mcilwain · Rating 5 out of 5]

I purchased this book a few months ago and slowly began to read it and digest it. It has a powerful message for our society - our neighborhoods, churches, work place. Our world is polarized. People are having trouble talking with each other and tend to talk over or at one another. Dan White, Jr. gives us the remedy that Jesus demonstrated and prescribes - the way of love. This pathway of love is not one of merely overlooking the faults of others or of allowing others to run over us in order to secure the peace. Love is a powerful weapon that challenges, renews, exposes wrong thoughts and actions, and ultimately heals. I took about three months to read this book, because I wanted to digest its message. I took about a month to read the last chapter, because it spoke powerfully to me about the power of forgiveness. The book is easy to read, yet its message is profound. Buy this book. Read it, and then apply its message.

[Nathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

How do we navigate life today without being torn apart by controversy and division? How can we avoid the wild polarization that defines our time? And most important - how do churches remain unified without being divided between the political red and blue? The answer might just be this book.

Table of Contents:
Ch. 1- The Way Fear Works
Ch. 2- Love and Fear at War
Ch. 3 - How Fear Polarizes
Ch. 4 - Affection for Monsters
Ch. 5 - When Love Comes to Town
Ch. 6 - Breaking Open Spaces
Ch. 7 - Making Meals for Frenemies
Ch. 8 - Compassionate Curiosity
Ch. 9 - The Aikido of Forgiveness

Dan White Jr. would fall solidly as a moderate, often aggravating both the right and left in his writing. The overall message is important and (I think) would be an excellent Sunday School series.

[Paul Pompa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me first say I’m fairly sure I disagree on a few theological issues, relatively minor ones. But overall this is a very powerful book, an overall very biblically sound book. If I had to summarize, I guess I would say the thesis is that to modern Americans the gospel is scandalous (but in good ways, the right ways). Partaking in polarization is unbiblical in so so many ways. Polarization is the opposite of humility, of selfless sacrifice, of loving enemies. Polarization is the opposite of how Christ bridged the previously unbridgeable chasm between us and God. This is a must read in our current political climate.

[Adrienne Servis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dan White Jr. does an excellent job of making us aware of the impact fear has in our lives. He quotes this "Fear has it place, but it is like a forest fire in California, when we welcome it , unimpeded in our life." He shares the story of the shadow he saw that turned into full fear that there was a gunman attacking his place. We can turn any situation into something it's not when we allow fear to take control our lives. Dan shows us how to allow love to conquer this and rid fear once and for all. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of the launch team.

[McKayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book from Moody Publishers in exchange for an honest review. I absolutely loved this book. Forming opinions and habits on the topics addressed are incredibly important in today’s world. As a conflict-averse person, I loved the convincing theory and convicting message that Dan White communicates. It challenges readers to show grace to all, giving practical advice for destroying antagonism through forgiveness and vulnerability.

[Louis Prontnicki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very though provoking and heart searching
It moved me to think about some people who I need to love and reach out to.
One weakness of the book is that his theology and handling of some passages of scripture were forced to fit his points. While there are other important aspects of dealing with polarization that he doesn't address, he does a good job with the ones he does tackle. Thanks for a helpful and timely book.