The Mummy Lessons: The laugh-out-loud novel for all exhausted parents and parents-to-be

by Helen Wallen

THE RULES1) Try to sleep when the baby sleeps. (SO NEVER. EVER. UNTIL YOU ARE AN EMPTY WINE-SOAKED HUSK AND FALL DOWN DEAD IN THE BABY AISLE AT TESCO)2) Try to eat when the baby sleeps. (SEE POINT ABOVE)3) Try to get basic household chores done when the baby sleeps. (ABOVE!!)4) Batch cook food and freeze in individual portions for easy re-heating. (OR DELIVEROO . . . WITH WINE. AND CRYING)5) Try hiring a cleaner to take the pressure off. (OR JUST USE BABY WIPES)6) Take time to shower or bathe in the evenings when you can leave the baby with your partner. (OR JUST USE BABY WIPES)7) Make tea or coffee in the Thermos so it stays hot. (WHAT IS THIS 'HOT' OFWHICH YOU SPEAK?!)8) Don't be afraid to ask for help, or ask people to leave. (COMMUNICATION VIA WHATSAPP ONLY)9) Remember to look after and take time for yourself. (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)After a tough pregnancy, Emily is determined to tackle motherhood like a pro. But she quickly learns that Insta-Perfect-Parenting (and sleep) is hard to come by, no matter how much money you spend in Mothercare. Irritatingly, her friend Molly seems to be breezing it. But with a business venture as well as a baby, is she taking on too much?Liz looks as though she might have it all worked out. But when a tragedy derails her new relationship, she has some serious decisions to make. Celebrating female friendship, the highs and lows of motherhood, and the lifesaving power of a jumperoo, THE MUMMY LESSONS follows a year of highs and lows for Emily, Molly and Liz as they learn the hardest lesson of life doesn't always follow the rules . . .***********What readers are saying about Helen Wallen's BABY BOOM!'Funny, sweet, real and relatable. Couldn't put it down.''Hilarious, witty and so easy to get lost in! This book shows the real life before and after your baby has been born!''Loved it! Great read for mums and dads who want to keep it real!''If you've had kids, you'll laugh out loud!''Fantastic!!! I couldn't put this book down'

Genres: Chick Lit

357 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 21, 2019

Reviews

[Alice Beatrice Thea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Baffled.
That’s how I felt when I finished this little lighthearted gem of mum-fiction and then discovered it only has 67 reviews on Amazon, and even more dumbfounded to discover ‘The Mummy Lessons’ only has 65 reviews on Good Reads.

Unsurprisingly, even though the readership of Helen Wallen’s second novel (following Baby Boom) seems sparse, it scored highly with a 4.7 and a 4.18 out of 5, respectively.

I must confess I happened across this blue-sheathed wonder by the magical means of Amazon’s algorithm supplying me with recommendations of similar books to those I’d already purchased.

I was a stranger to this award-winning blogger-turned author, and unaware of her first and earlier book. When I did a quick Google search for previous reviews – at a very superficial glance – I couldn’t see a single professional review of The Mummy Lessons by any newspapers or other “proper” journalists – simply a handful of fellow wannabes in the blogosphere. However, having just finished this read today (having started it months ago – naturally, being a mum kept busy chasing round a little girl who is now very much on-the-move and enthusiastically exploring all the ways she could electrocute/impale/suffocate herself), personally, I’m all up for naming this The Bible of one’s initial year of being a mum.

On further inspection, Warran’s Baby Boom (which centres around the same tripod of characters) was a real hit with mums, and there’s plenty of coverage of the Guernsey residing mum-blogger. Although, I’m not quite sure how it could eclipse ‘The Mummy Lessons’ so profoundly in terms of its media reception. Surely, if this part of the series is good enough on its own that I didn’t even realise it was a sequel, then Wallen’s ‘Baby Boom’ fans would have been lining up to find out what happened next?

How could you NOT fall in love with the trio who send messages like the following in their WhatsApp group?

“Liz:
Secret sausages it is. That’s how much I love you.”

“Emily:
Me too. I really do love you ladies.”

“Molly:
Me too. You steal me meat, you keep me sane and you’re the best friends a girl could have.”

“Liz:
Like an epic sausage-stealing, boob-feeding, man-marrying girl band with 90s tendencies and a soft spot for Spice Girl lyrics and Heather Shimmer lipstick . . .”

“Emily:
Heather Shimmer for ever.”

~ The Mummy Lessons (Wallen, Helen, 2019, Hodder & Stoughton, Chapter 72 Perfectly Unperfect, page 435)


(Review written 26th July, 2020)

[Kat · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my second book by Helen Wallen and I can't wait to read more. I found myself relating to Liz in this book about how she was feeling in regards to something but I can't say what it was as it would spoil the book. I love the friendship between Emily, Molly and Liz and how their always there for one another to give advice and support each other. I found myself getting annoyed at the reckless choices of one of the woman, this at a time when sensibility was the order of the day. Although I loved Tom, I found his controlling manner rather frustrating. Molly is her own person and shouldn't be dictated by anyone.

I can't wait for the third book.i hope it's soon.

Thanks goes to net galley and the publishers for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review.

[C L Frost · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome

I loved the first boom and the second did not disappoint. The characters are really relatable and being a mum you can see yourself in eAch of the three ladies. It's laugh out loud funny but handles the ups and downs of adulting in a sensitive way. When's boom three coming out?

[Colette Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and uplifting

This book is so relatable and funny. It makes you think everyone goes through the same stuff as a Mum, it cheered me up no ends. I will be recommending it to friends.

[Steph Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like being back with old friends

I enjoyed being back with Liz, Emily and Molly on their respective journeys. It was funny and full of emotion. Definitely worth the read after reading Baby Boom

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A delightful read. Quirky, funny and a great reminder that mummies need their tribe. Enviable levels of friendship here but in a good way. Occasional typo but story flows so well that you can oversee them. Highly recommended!

[Mehak Khan34 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has so much that i can relate to. Being a new mummy, i have faced almost similar challenges that the story has described. I loved how it gave words to my feelings. Every new mother should read it to get hope, motivation and reassurance that you are not alone

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

although i read it i wasnt my usual book it would be a good read for someone who is pregnant with their first child it brought back some memories for me when i was having my first. Funny in some places.

[Lisa Perkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yet another cracker from this author. I enjoyed this just as much as the first installment of Baby Boom! Laugh out loud moments where my kids looked at me like I had 3 heads lol. Very well written and very true to life, capturing feelings we've all felt very well indeed

[Mrs D J Rugg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Page turning fun

What can I say, an honest look at friendship and motherhood absolutely brilliant

Love this book! Fully recommended!! Need two more words so I can submit!!

[Sarah Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Couldn't put it down

I absolutely loved this book, from start to finish was hard to put down. Liked how it was so true and real to everyday life. Highly recommend.....

[Sangeetha Jayakumar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome read for all mothers, mothers to be. I could relate to almost every chapter.

[Joy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just really hate chick-lit....

[Verity · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed Helen Wallen’s first novel, “Baby Boom” so I was really keen to get stuck into book 2, “The Mummy Lesson’s” and find out what Emily, Molly and Liz were up to.

From the first page it felt like I was catching up with old friends and I sped through the pages getting lost in Emily and Molly’s mummy journeys. Everything I enjoyed from the first book was present in this sequel, the warm natural friendships between the women, the honesty about what it’s like to be a mother and the hilarity of the Whatsapp chats, but with an added dramatic storyline for Liz which kept me firmly on the edge of my seat terrified that Gerard and Liz might come to an end (Team Giz forever!)

I enjoyed the character development between books for Emily and Molly. Becoming a mother changes you in ways that are deeply personal and individual and it was so good to see each woman handle her new role in her own way. Equally, it was nice to see that when all three friends met up their friendships were exactly the same and none of them were left out.

As well as the realistic parenting parts of the book, the dramatic storyline added real tension to the plot. Liz is the character I relate to the least and I felt like we got a bit more of her in this book. She became a bit more vulnerable which was really interesting to read. I can’t help but feel like Liz’s story wasn’t completely resolved though, which has left me really hoping that book 3 is in the works!

I really recommend Helen Wallen’s books to anyone who enjoys a fun, hilarious contemporary page-turner. You don’t have to be a parent to enjoy these books, there’s plenty of plot and character for everyone to enjoy them. If you are a parent though you’ll laugh at the sheer accuracy of some of the descriptions in these books.

[Julie Spratt · Rating 4 out of 5]

A continuation of "Baby Boom" and this book tells the next step in the lives of three friends - Emily, Liz and Molly. Emily thinks that motherhood will just be a continuation of life as it is and quickly finds that this is not the case. Like all new Mums she quickly has to accept that things have changed and she is the same as many new mothers - she wears the same clothes for more than a day some times longer, she often goes out of the house smelling of sick with poo somewhere about her person and is constantly craving sleep. She buys ever toy and device known but this still makes little difference to how her baby behaves - awake! Molly has a placid baby but struggles with money and her new business. She makes rash decisions that affect her families lives. Liz meets Gerald and has to decide if she wants to carry on life with the married man she met in the last book or settle down and marry Gerald.
A fun book at times and I enjoyed the addition of the blogs and the text messages. An honest book that reflects how the first year of motherhood goes for most people and that life will change whatever you do to try to stop it.

[Mrs Laura T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this! I had a baby 6 months ago, this book is so relatable and hilarious.