Live Free: making sense of male sexuality

by Asher Witmer

Have you ever been told you have a problem with lust because your desire is too weak?

Me neither.

Usually, the idea is we need to take every thought a little more captive, resist the devil a little more often, or die a little more daily to our flesh. The focus tends to be on discipline— “We need more spiritual discipline!”

But what if I told you that discipline won’t solve your sexual addiction?

What if I told you that your sex drive is good, something God wants to be quite powerful within you?

And what if I told you that sexual purity for men has more to do with cultivating greater desire than with restraining it?

We as men want to be able to look people in the eyes without having anything to hide. Even more, we want to fight for others. But there is this thing we have been given that keeps messing us up: sex. Or more specifically, our sexuality.

This book is my story of wrestling with sexual sin and finding freedom from pornography as I discovered more of how God intends me to live out my sexuality as a man.

320 pages, Paperback

Published October 29, 2018

Reviews

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hands down the best book I’ve ever read on sexuality/moral failure! Asher dives deep into the struggle for freedom, ties it closely to the narrative of mankind with a restored relationship with God as the answer. He writes with brutal honesty and a vulnerability of a man who has found his identity in Christ. 100% recommend this book to every young man.

[Stan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished Asher Witmer's "Live Free." Definitely a five-star read! What makes this book stand out is Witmer's personal vulnerability in telling his own story and drawing from his experiences to help others. It's not just a bunch of cliche advice, but down-to-earth practical help. He doesn't beat around the bush, but address things in a straight forward way.

Witmer says that the lust problem does not have a one-size-fits-all type of solution. He describes it to a Soduku puzzle where there are many pieces to solve before it is conquered. This book starts right with the root of the lust problem. Then it addresses many other pieces to this puzzle.

I also really appreciate how he doesn't just tell his readers what not to do, but gives them practical advice on what to focus on instead.

If you are a man that has ever struggled with lust, this book is for you! I know I personally will be applying many of these principles in my own life. Thanks Asher for your hard work in writing this book!

[Marques · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got to meet Asher a few weeks ago so I may be a little biased—but this is definitely one of the best books on sex that I have ever read. Asher doesn’t push any formulas for success, rather he gets to the root of the why. Why do I turn to masturbation and porn? He shares personal stories of times that he’s failed. Stories that show his thought process precisely, and are relatable to me. These stories helped me not feel alone in my struggles. This book brings HOPE to people who may have given up on ever finding victory over lust.

Quotes:

“Masturbation, homosexuality, and adultery are not wrong because of our desire for them, but because they are not how God designed for us to express sexuality or receive intimacy.”

“An obsession with erotic pleasure comes as the result of a lack of meaning and purpose, and nothing in life is truly meaningful without its relational value.”


CS Lewis “It would seem the Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.”

[Jade Puffer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Possibly one of the best books I've read on this subject, it is great seeing Anabaptists writing on this subject. I appreciate the way Asher Witmer brought and used his own story throughout the book, and it made reading it very powerful. I highly recommend this book to all men (specifically). But it could be a good read for anyone.

[Sierra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciate how honest and transparent Witmer is in his book. Even though this book is designed for men, I feel like I have a better understanding of the struggle men go through in their day to day lives in their pursuit to live free.

[Mike Burkholder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Asher is open about his former and current struggles and never acts like he has the answers, but he gives great insight and wisdom from his own experience.

[TJ Schrock · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved hearing about Asher's personal journey and at the same time breaking down some old lies we believe about sexuality. Thankyou for sharing God's work in your relationship with him.