The Tragedy Test

by Richard Agler

Making Sense of Life-Changing Loss—A Rabbi's Journey

From the back cover:

When tragedy strikes we want to know:
Why did this happen?
How could it have happened?
Where is life’s justice and fairness?

When tragedy strikes we need to know:
What still makes sense.
What paths lead to healing.
How to deal with the timeless questions.

When Rabbi Richard Agler’s twenty-six-year-old daughter Talia was struck and killed by a motor vehicle, his understanding of tragedy failed him. This book is an account of his journey, one he had no choice but to take, leasing from unimaginable grief to (at least partial) recovery.

In clear and compelling language, with references to both ancient and modern sources of wisdom, Rabbi Agler offers insight for everyone who has, or who one day might, experience painful loss.

The Tragedy Test may give you enhanced clarity on some of humanity's most profound questions. It may lead you to reimagine the nature of our universe. It may fundamentally challenge your understanding of the God you thought you knew. It will not leave you unmoved or unchanged.

188 pages, Paperback

First published October 23, 2018

Reviews

[Terry Hudson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a moving tribute to the author's daughter, and a very worthwhile read. I agree with the author's estimate about the mindless platitudes that well-meaning people offer in times of loss.

I was particularly fascinated by the second half of the book on the nature of God as Law and Spirit. I agree that God’s spirit embodies kindness, justice and love. I also feel that prayer changes our behavior. I have long appreciated the words of a Unitarian minister: “Prayer doesn’t change things. Prayer changes people, and people change things.”

I share the author's view that although the world can be a dangerous place, it is also benevolent. Our role is to live in trust and love rather than in fear. Nevertheless.

[Kathleen Tarr · Rating 5 out of 5]

In The Tragedy Test, Rich Agler offers a wise rabbi’s voice with honesty and frankness about what it is to lose a beloved daughter, move through the grief of tragic loss, examine the nature of God and renew faith through acceptance.

The three sections of the book, Challenge, Response and Acceptance, invite the reader to walk with him as he unpacks the cliché responses friends and family offer to the bereaved. He explores how comments such as “ Everything works out for the best,” or “ She is with God,” call the question on the nature of God. He gently, steadily leads the reader forward and deeper just as he had to move in order to heal.

Rich Agler writes with the wisdom of a rabbi, heart of a parent, and the curiosity of a seeker. He walks the reader through the shifting challenges of understanding God and faith during significant tragedy. He asks the tough questions and makes a compelling case for acceptance of accidents through the reality of natural laws of gravity and science without losing faith. He honors the goodness, love, kindness and caring we each can bring to our relationships and the wider world, thus living out God’s gifts and our gratitude for life.

This book is personal, insightful, and helpful to anyone grieving or to those who support others through tragedy. Spiritual directors who sit with individuals struggling with unbearable loss have in this book a clear, reflective guide to share with those they companion. Hospice workers supporting families dealing with untimely death of a loved one may find support here for themselves and the families. This book is not therapy; it is a spiritual roadmap for spiritual healing. The book is short and each chapter is only as long as it needs to be, often less than a page. The white space on the page invites the reader to consider, make notes or let the wisdom filter into their own experience.

In The Tragedy Test, Rich Agler traces an intimate struggle from crippling pain to spiritual healing. He explores the God of Law and Spirit, develops the Six Step Program, and emphasizes God’s goodness, love and charity. He asks himself and us, “Where are you right now in your journey of life?” His answer honors the beautiful life of Talia Faith Agler and becomes the encouraging and life-affirming journey to be found in The Tragedy Test.

[Moshe Heyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am fortunate to have not suffered a loss anywhere close to what Rabbi Agler describes in these pages. Yet, I am keenly aware that the possibility is never far away, from one day to the next. And so, as a rabbi and a student of religion and philosophy, I have known that if I WERE to suffer such a devastating loss, whatever theology I choose to embrace would have to pass the "tragedy test." I never thought about it in precisely those terms, which is why I am grateful to Rabbi Agler for reflecting on his experience so deeply and articulating it so clearly. It is a rare combination of skills that the writer possesses along with his firsthand experience of walking "through the valley of the shadow of death" that could result in such a valuable guide for others, sparing us from the agonizing process he went through to produce it. I recommend buying this relatively short book and reading it slowly, keeping it within reach even long after reading it, to absorb its message. It is likely to transform any "pie-in-the-sky" wishful thinking we may still cling to into a more compassionate and spiritually-oriented realism. This inner transformation must necessarily bring about positive changes in one's mood, outlook, relationships and virtually every aspect of one's life and work. I have already begun to notice these changes in myself. Thank you, Rabbi Agler!

[Tom Teicher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rabbi Agler takes on a difficult and painful subject. Trying to get one's arms around a pain that is almost too great to bear and having to search deeply into the unknowable – that is quite a task. And yet he successfully takes the reader on this journey, examining the most personal of tragedies from multiple angles, with sensitivity and grounded in years of experience and faith-based wisdom. This is a book that should be read slowly and processed with care. It's also a book to keep close at hand, as a ready reference to help cope with those occasional wicked curve balls life can throw our way.

[Kim Cook Beame]

I continued to wrestle with God as I read The Tragedy Test. Losing three extremely close, young, family members in less than a ten-year span, challenged my faith in God and my understanding of the universe. Rabbi Agler writes so poignantly, allowing me to believe that it is okay to wrestle, yet still maintain a relationship with God. The book is laid out in a way that let me struggle but to know that I am not alone in my struggle. It reminded me that tragedy strikes, but life has to move on – and while it is okay to be sad, terrified and deeply torn, I am still allowed to also be happy and stable. This book helped me to redefine my relationship with God and with myself.

[Steven Hartz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Drawing upon the experience of his tragic loss of his daughter and his many years as a congregational rabbi, Rabbi Agler has produced a well written book that outlines in a concise way the theological issues that tragedy presents. Whatever one’s views on faith may be, this provocative and inspiring book will enable everyone to deal in a more effective and compassionate way with the tragedies with which life confronts all of us in different ways.

[Heidi Coretz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rabbi Richard Agler has used the heartbreaking experience of the loss of his beloved daughter to reexamine his concept of God and God's role in the life of the individual. This understanding challenges the concept of a personal God who hears and responds to our prayers, but doesn't stop tragedy. This book speaks to people of all faiths open to understanding God in a new way. A deeply thoughtful and meaningful read.

[Jonathan Perlman]

Rabbi Agler wrote a courageous and honest book in confronting the tragic loss of his daughter in an accident. He directly confronts views of God that do not line up with a scientific understanding of the world, but creates room for the loving and healing powers that can help us make sense of this life. This is an important book for anyone who has suffered a tragedy, but is also valuable to everyone else who is trying to find a path to belief in God in the here and now. Rabbi Jonathan Perlman

[D&J Photo · Rating 5 out of 5]

When faith is shaken…
Rabbi Richard Agler offers thoughtful, frank, and compassionately accessible guidance while helping us navigate an evolving understanding of God in the face of life’s inevitable and world-shaking experiences. Highly recommended for everyone.

[Aley Sheer]

I have just finished reading the Tragedy Test. It is easily one of the best books I have ever read. The book is an illumination… bringing great insight and understanding for all who struggle with tragedy and with God… and for those who do not.

The Tragedy Test is “When Bad Things Happen To Good People“ meets “Man’s Search For Meaning“. It is at the same time scholarly and spiritual… punctuated with commentary from Maimonides, Spinoza, Einstein and other sources, this Rabbinic treatise will be very helpful to Jews and to anyone else in the human condition.

The Tragedy Test leaves a host of myths, clichés and superstitions punctured in its wake. It untwists theology for a deepened clarity to help us meet the challenges of love, loss, life and faith. This book is a must read... insightful, moving, helpful and important.

[Steven S. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not really a review, it is a thank you note for what Rabbi Richard Agler has given me and all readers in the Tragedy Test . As I read, I felt as though I was in a conversation with him about matters that are most often unspeakable. In a most intimate and coherent way, he gave voice to so much that most of us cannot say.
I appreciated the format -this allowed me to take in an idea and then mull it over, pause and process it without moving on to the next idea. I keep going back to a couple of things in particular - first, the “Conclusions of God and Justice.” Here Rabbi Agler is a truth teller. And the “Six Step Program” stands out as one of the clearest articulations of what real pastoral care must be.
This book really matters to me - not only because it is a readable and smart treatment of an impossible subject, but because it is a personal and loving statement about real living. Thanks, Rabbi Agler, for taking me, the reader, along not only as you talked the talk, but walked the walk.